22 March 2021

A student newspaper of the University of Tulsa

March 22, 2021 Issue 21 - volume 106

Are the Nets uNstoppAble? p.2 Meet the studeNt

AssocIAtIoN offIcer cANdIdAtes, p. 3

tu’s “strAtegIc plAN” prIorItIzes corporAtIoNs, p. 4 INtroduce yourself to A vArIety of stAff pIcks, p. 5

Native tribes offer covid vacciNatioNs to geNeral public

3

cover by Emma Palmer

p.

Sports

The Collegian: 2

22 March 2021

Can anyone in the league stop the Brooklyn Nets?

Looking at a team with yet another superstar on its roster, NBA analyst Joseph Breedlove discusses whether anyone can beat the super squad.

courtesy Brooklyn Nets Twitter

The Brooklyn Nets, who are already a power house, decided to make a contract deal with Blake Griffin, the recent Detroit Piston and Los Angeles Clipper. His accolades include rookie of the year in 2011, six NBA All Star selections and a Slam dunk contest win in 2011. He is not an average player. Now, the Brooklyn Nets have a superstar addition in his joining the team along with the All-Stars Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving and James Harden.

The GM for the Brooklyn Nets, Sean Marks, had some commendatory words to say about Griffin. Marks stated, “We’re fortunate to be able to add a player of Blake’s caliber to our roster at this point in the season, Blake is a versatile frontcourt player with a long track record of success in our league, and we’re excited about the impact he’ll make for us both on and off the court in Brooklyn.” Head coach, Steve Nash is looking for Blake Griffin to be a great ball handling power forward/center off the bench.

Having these four All-Star material players, the question that has to be asked is if it is too much for one team. The old adage “the more the merrier” is something to think about, but not every player can score 25+ every game. This will be a new role for Blake Griffin because normally he is the man of the team scoring 25+ having double digit rebounds, so this will be something new for him.

The Nets have a great chance to make it to the Finals this year, and Blake Griffin is not new to being in the Playoffs. As a Clipper, he went to the Playoffs six times, but sadly came up short in each appearance. The Pistons made it to the Playoffs with him as well, albeit only one time, in 2019. A championship is in Blake Griffin’s mind for sure, and it seems that him taking on a smaller role to help his team win may work.

The Nets have also been having success this year adding on James Harden, so one more All-Star will not hurt. He will also be reuniting with his former teammate DeAndre Jordan. They were a power duo during their years together with the Clippers.

Bringing that fire to the table will also help with the Nets success. Unfortunately, Blake Griffin is out presently with a left knee injury. He is hoping to get back on the floor with his team and help them win. Interestingly enough, this aggravated former injury may have a strong effect on Griffin’s game, as he has not had a dunk in a game since 2019.

Adding Griffin as an asset to the team is not a bad move, but his return is questionable so it could be a while before he is back on the court. Only time can tell whether his renaissance will see completion at a championship level.

Return of the East: NBA power rankings

In his most generous appraisal of the Eastern Conference yet, basketball writer Zach Short gives his top five teams in the league for the week.

5. Los Angeles Lakers Back in the rankings after an absence in the past weeks, LeBron and his supporting cast have found somewhat of a groove. They have now won four straight coming out of the All-Star break. And while these wins came against teams that might not seem quite so competitive as the ones that pushed Los Angeles out of the power rankings, the wide margins of victory seem to indicate a rediscovered competitiveness that could propel the Lakers past tougher opponents.

Last Monday, the Lakers beat the Warriors by a whopping 31 points, following it with a 16 point victory over the Timberwolves on Tuesday and an 11 point victory of the Hornets on Thursday. Combined with their earlier post-All-Star debut win over the Pacers, their average margin of victory for the second half sits presently at just below 16.

Given that top tier teams have struggled as of late, the Lakers playing at this level may not only reenter the rankings, but may also climb back to their former glory or even retake the top seed in the West.

4. Phoenix Suns Although they dropped a single slot since last week, this comes more from the perpetually increasing competitiveness at the top of the East than it does from any fault at the feet of Phoenix. However, they have played below expectations since the break, and this underwhelming start to the second half has allowed the Lakers to reclaim the second spot in the West. Hopes looked high with a win over the Trail Blazers, but a loss to the Pacers and split of two games against

the Timberwolves has them looking more like the first round exit many anticipated. A game against a reinvigorated Miami squad this coming week hosts a chance for the Suns to stunt the aspirations of a competitive cross-conference team while propelling them back to their own hopes of a high seed in the postseason. Of course, all this remains contingent on the assumption that they can still cruise past less daunting foes in their other upcoming games against the Magic and the Raptors.

3. Philadelphia 76ers Much to the surprise of those eyeing the race for first in the East, Philadelphia has yet to succumb to the pressure from the ever-encroaching Nets. The margin separating them remains razor-thin, perpetually hovering around a half-game lead in the 76ers’ favor.

However, much of this lead seems to rise out of a better start to the season. The Nets did not begin with the intimidating lineup they can boast now, and as such struggled more than the 76ers early in the year. Discounting the first three or so weeks of the season, the 76ers no longer have a hold on the top seat in their conference. That said, what Philadelphia has accomplished merits no scoff, and any postseason showdown for an appearance in the Finals could still fall to either team. Ultimately, the fate of the conference relies on two factors: whether or not Joel Embiid can adopt a timeless LeBron level of invincibility in the postseason and whether the Nets can mesh their competing interests into a cohesive game plan.

2. Brooklyn Nets As of yet, this team looks like the scariest group the Eastern Conference has seen since LeBron’s last year in Miami. Constantly plagued by injuries and missed games, no one has really seen this team at their full potential. Regardless, they still sit right on the cusp of running away with a one seed in the postseason. A cold or a mild strain for Joel Embiid could spell disaster for Philadelphia and give the Nets all that they need to steal the spotlight. However, while no one has seen Brooklyn yet at their maximum capacity, neither has anyone seen them at their most internally contentious. James Harden and Kevin Durant both enjoy high offensive output, and Harden and Kyrie Irving have enjoyed recent years as the most valuable players on each of their teams, in Houston and Boston, respectively. The new addition of Blake Griffin brings in another name coddled with the burden of leading offensive efforts. Put any combination of these guys on the floor, and problems may arise. They only have the one ball at any point.

1. Utah Jazz Yes, they have seen their darkest days most recently, but they still appear the likeliest champions for this season. Every team must face a lull now and then. Not only may such a period prove inevitable, but it can also provide a healthy dose of reality for a team. Any team that enters the postseason believing in their own dominance may not have the scrappiness to endure the shock of other teams providing a challenge. For a prime example, look to the 73-9 Warriors

who lost their ring to his highness, King James. The Jazz, as of yet, may need this period of reflection to surge into a truly spectacular postseason run. Even if they drop the top seed to the Lakers or the Suns, even if they fall behind both, this squad looks formidable enough on any given night to beat anyone in a series of seven. It will take serious circumstances to convince otherwise.

Hot seat: Milwaukee Bucks Giannis Antetokoumnpo was the first to taste the disappointment of falling out of top contention, but the Greek Freak has returned to close quarters with the best of his conference and shows no signs of slowing down.

As of this writing, they have yet to lose a game since the All-Star break. Their competitors remain roughly middle-of-the-road in the coming games, and they will have the opportunity to prove themselves as one of the best in the league with their final two games in the month of March against each of the Los Angeles teams. Should either the 76ers or the Nets have a rough week, the Bucks could push their way back into a two seed, if not surpassing both in their apparent unwillingness to lose even a single game.

Right now, with the way this team and its conference rivals for top seed are playing, the odds look the highest they have yet for an East-leaning power rankings in the coming weeks.

Mar. 22 - Mar. 28 Monday

Tuesday 22

Wednesday 23

Thursday

Friday

25

24

Saturday 26

27

none

none

M Tennis #25 OSU 5 p.m.

Volleyball Tulane 4 p.m.

28

Track & Field ORU Inv. All Day

W Tennis Wichita St. 12:30 p.m.

W Tennis Texas Tech 3 p.m.

Sunday

Volleyball Tulane 1 p.m.

Softball LA Tech 2 p.m.

Softball LA Tech 4 p.m.

M Soccer SMU 7 p.m.

Softball LA Tech 12 p.m.

W Soccer Temple 1 p.m.

News

22 March 2021

The Collegian: 3

Student Association holds 2021 elections on Harvey

Candidates have built platforms for each position with hopes of having a chance to make a difference next school year.

Tommy Reid Student Writer

Every spring, the Student Association (SA) holds its elections for officer positions.

The elections this spring will be held March 24 and 25 on Harvey.

Running in this election are six students for four offices. Kareem Ihmedian is running unopposed for president, Lanie McKinney and Sean O’Brien are running for vice president, Kaitlin Argo is running unopposed for treasurer and Savannah Sinclair and Justin Yang are running for secretary.

There will be a debate Monday March 22 at 6 p.m., during which further information about each candidate will be shared. What follows is a brief summary of each of the candidates.

President Kareem Ihmeidan’s past experience in SA includes his position this year as Chief of Staff-Senate. This role included advancing initiatives that improved communication between SA and student organizations including the Presidents Council and organizing many town halls. He is running on a platform to improve the quality of student life and campus culture as well as to work with the City of Tulsa to improve the com-

munity around TU. By voting for him, Ihmeidan believes that a new age of student life at the University of Tulsa can be ushered in through initiatives that advocate and encourage student ingenuity. If you have further questions, you can reach out to him by emailing him at abi8066@utulsa.edu or sending a DM to @Kihmeidan on Instagram.

Vice President Lanie McKinney’s past experience in SA includes serving on the Government Operations Committee as an elected senator freshman year, serving as the SA Secretary, which involved taking notes through the weekly meetings and serving on the Government Operations Committee as an elected senator once again during her junior year.

McKinney is running on a platform to reengineer the funding process to be clearer and more accessible to student organizations, pass legislation that reflects student priorities such as sustainability and inclusion and foster a culture in the senate that is welcoming and recruits diverse student leaders to more accurately represent the student body.

By voting for her, McKinney believes that students will be choosing a person committed to elevating the many diverse voices at TU to the administrative level. If you have further questions, you can reach out to her by emailing her at lgm5572@utulsa.edu or sending a DM to @lanieforvp on Instagram.

Sean O’Brien’spast experience in SA includes serving on the Government Operations Committee as a senator during his

freshman year and serving as the secretary of SA, which involved taking notes during the weekly Cabinet, Senate and Exec meetings during his sophomore year. His platform is focused on making it easier for students and organization leaders to use SA resources and assess funding. In making the student leadership easier, he wishes to implement a program to better train organization presidents and treasurers in accessing organization funding. By voting for him, students will elect a person whose platform will do a lot for the good of the TU community. If you have further questions, you can reach out to her by emailing him at spo3669@utulsa.edu or sending a DM to @ seanforvp on Instagram.

Treasurer Kaitlyn Argo’s past experience in SA includes roles as Deputy Chair of the Monetary Allocations Committee, during which she helped pass bills and fund organizations.

Her platform is centered around making the funding process for student organizations smoother and easier for everyone involved, as well as making everything more transparent to the student body. As a result of this, students will be able to clearly see what is going on in SA and TU as a whole. Argo believes that her past experience in SA and goals for the future will make for great results as treasurer. If you have further questions, you can reach out to her by sending a DM to @okgal21 on Instagram.

Secretary For the past year, Justin Yang has been the SA Associate Director in the Social and Community Engagement Department of the Cabinet branch and has worked on several events, including movie night for Homecoming week and a TU student pumpkin decorating kit handout last fall. His platform is to bring change and reform to the Secretary position in SA by increasing student organization interaction with SA Executive and to create an analytics system to understand student involvement and share the information on how to increase participation with orgs and the rest of SA. By voting for him, Yang believes that you will be voting for someone who has the motivation and love for TU to make a difference. If you have further questions, you can reach out to him by emailing her at jey1421@utulsa. edu or by sending a DM to @j_yangg_ on Instagram.

For the past three years, Savannah Sinclair has been a senator. During this time, she has been on the Governing Operations Committee and has passed several bills. If you have further questions, you can reach out to her by emailing her at sds6291@utulsa.edu or by sending a DM to @savforsecretary on Instagram.

After deciding which candidates you believe would make the best impacts on TU, whether it be in student life, academics or student organizations, be sure to log into Harvey on March 23 and 24 to vote for each office.

THE CANDIDATES

VOTE ON HARVEY ON MARCH 24th and 25th

graphic by Emma Palmer Kareem Ihmeidan and Kaitlyn Argo are each running unopposed for SA President and Treasurer, respectively. Lanie McKinney and Sean O’Brien are running against each other for SA Vice President while Justin Yang and Savannah Sinclair are running for SA Secretary.

Tribal Nations open COVID-19 appointments to all Oklahomans The Cherokee, Osage, Choctaw and Chickasaw Nations have started vaccinating people regardless of tribal affiliation.

Piper Prolago News Editor As states across the country have struggled to find the most efficient and effective ways to roll out the COVID-19 vaccine, tribal nations in Oklahoma have vaccinated their own communities at record-breaking rates. Now, having offered vaccination appointments to all of their own citizens, several tribes have also opened appointments to all Oklahoma residents.

Any Oklahoma resident regardless of tribal affiliation may book appointments to get their vaccines through the Osage, Choc-

After first having made vaccines available to their own citizens, tribes like the Cherokee Nation opened appointments to anyone living within their tribal jurisdiction or any member of a federally recognized tribe earlier this month. As of March 17, the Cherokee Nation had administered more than 33,000 vaccines throughout their nine distribution centers; the Chickasaw Nation had administered more than 32,000.

The Chickasaw Nation administers vaccines in four cities with its largest center being a 16-land drive through in Ada, the Nation’s headquarters. Following a similar plan implemented in the Navajo Nation, the Cherokee nation is planning “strike teams,” in which nurses will be sent to rural parts of Oklahoma with single doses of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine to meet people in their homes and encourage higher rates of vaccination throughout the state.

explained the decision to open vaccine appointments to non-tribal Oklahomans.

“There are, of course, non-Native members of the community that our tribal citizens come in contact with,” Bullock said.

“Helping to develop this herd immunity not only benefits the tribal members, but the community as a whole.”

The move to open vaccination appointments to all Oklahomans was in part a result of the declining number of appointments various Nations saw in their vaccination bookings. With greater numbers of vaccines

than eligible individuals, tribes were able to remove criteria to offer wider distribution with the intent of protecting the larger Oklahoma community.

With increasing numbers of eligible Oklahomans looking to book appointments to vaccinate themselves and loved ones, tribal nations have played an instrumental role in ensuring availability of doses. Oklahoma as a whole has now fully vaccinated more than 14 percent of its population with about 27 percent of the population having received a single dose.

“ ... tribal nations have vaccinated their own communities at record-breaking rates.” taw, Chickasaw or Cherokee Nations. This includes individuals that may not otherwise be eligible for the vaccine through the Oklahoma State Health Department based on factors like their age, job or health.

When vaccines first became available in the United States after being cleared by the FDA, doses were distributed to each state and to tribal nations based on their population, allowing each government to distribute vaccines to a percentage of their populations. In addition to this, the Indian Health Service (IHS), a federal health program for American Indians and Alaska Natives, also distributed more than 1.1 million vaccines and administered almost 700,000 shots throughout the country. After receiving about $1 billion in COVID-19 relief funds, IHS was able to fund vaccine distribution throughout the tribal work.

Native American communities were disproportionately affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. Last summer, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that American Indian and Alaska Natives were affected by the virus at a rate 3.5 times greater than non-Hispanic white people in the United States. Now, through their efficient systems for administering vaccine doses, Native populations represent some of the highest rates of vaccination in the country.

Chief medical officer for the Chickasaw Nation, Dr. John Krueger, credited the tribe’s robust infrastructure for its efficiency in being able to move into a new phase in which they can offer vaccines to non-Native members of the Oklahoma community. Cpt. Clinton Bullock, director of pharmacy for the Choctaw Nation Health Care Center,

graphic by Emma Palmer You can book an appointment for a vaccine at medical centers run through the Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw or Osage Nations.

Commentary

The Collegian: 4

22 March 2021

The Legislative Digest is your weekly look at the happenings of Oklahoma’s state legislature, upcoming bills and the terms to know.

Justin Klopfer Commentary Editor

HB 1674: This bill establishes legal punishments for acts related to protests. These acts include unlawfully “obstruct[ing] the normal use of any public street” and assembling to “resist the execution of any statute of this state or of the United States.”

Obviously, this is another bill authored in response to the wave of Black Lives Matter protests last summer. It brings to mind SB 560, which establishes legal protections for people who injure others while driving vehicles into protest groups. The right-wing backlash against Black Lives Matter comes in many forms, though all of them refuse to actually address the issues that bring crowds out to protest.

As always, conservatives are infuriated by large and passionate protest movements. They can’t accept that massive groups of people in America see deep-rooted flaws in our nation.

Laws like these are one way of attempting to quash protest movements. They distract from the issue at hand and redirect the argument to how one ought to protest, not how one ought to reduce police violence.

Another clause of the bill states that “If an organization is found to be a conspirator with [these criminals]... the conspiring organization shall be punished by a fine that is ten times the amount of said fine authorized by the appropriate provision.” It’s hard to parse precisely what this provision is targeting, though activist organizations would certainly be a target.

Fundraising is an essential element of any powerful organization, and hefty fines can greatly weaken their power.

This bill has already been passed by the House with a 79-18 party line vote. It’s hard to estimate the actual impact of this bill; there’s certainly plenty of precedent to argue that

these kinds of actions are already heavily persecuted. Either way, it’s important to remember that a primary goal of Republicans is to fight tooth and nail against social progress.

HB 1662: This bill outlines the legal process for firearm killings in self-defense. One particularly curious stipulation of the bill was added in an amendment, which changes the standard for justifying self-defense killings from “beyond reasonable doubt” to “by clear and convincing evidence” for bringing cases to trial. This is a clear lowering of the standard for what qualifies a killing as self-defense.

The author of the bill claims this change in language is in accordance with what the Oklahoma District Attorneys desire, and I don’t doubt it. District Attorneys are only an extension of our police state, an already incredibly right-wing organization. I’d much rather trust a jury to determine self-defense than the District Attorneys.

The debate on the House floor over this amendment was a particularly unique one. Rep West first pretended to be unable to hear Rep Mauree Turner “because of the mask” when she was clearly completely audible. Then Representative Regina Goodwin debated against the bill in an impassioned 10 minute speech, calling the bill a “license to kill” and highlighting the way it enables racial and police violence.

Both this bill and HB 1674 were authored by Republican Representative Kevin West.

This bill also passed in the House on a 77-19 vote, with only two Representatives breaking party ranks. Hopefully both of these bills experience more resistance in the Senate, or at least less will to be passed.

TU’s “Strategic Plan” a continuation of its STEM leanings It’s become increasingly clear that TU sees itself as a technical school first and an intellectual institution only incidentally.

Programs like English and film studies are relics that only survive by the graces of people who choose to take them up in addition to “professional” — i.e. profitable — majors. A student who only studies the liberal arts has no place in this new plan, but one who only studies STEM certainly does.

Though the direct impacts of TU’s new plan are unclear, STEM fields are still being prioritized.

Justin Klopfer Commentary Editor This January, TU rolled out its new “Strategic Plan” for how it sees the University progressing. It outlines in broad strokes the plan the university has for its place in the future. The central theme of the plan is producing “well-rounded” alumni that study both STEM — also called “professional studies” — and liberal arts. The purpose of creating this “well-rounded” student is simply to make students “career-ready,” not to instill deeper learning. The plan also includes a “job guarantee” for all new undergraduates, as if the new selling point of TU weren’t already clear enough.

collections of James Joyce documents and even publishes a quarterly journal on the author. There are so many great professors and departments being sidelined in favor of the profitable and corporate-adjacent STEM fields. They may not face direct cuts in this plan, but they are clearly not the priority of TU. It’s also important to remember that the preference for STEM and “professional”

an Dana Weber, “this plan has the potential to transform this institution.” It’s very clear that TU wants to shift its focus to certain fields and has no problem if that leaves other fields out to dry. The shift to a technical institution is a slow, arduous process, but it is happening.

“Corporations are in need of cyber security professionals, not Joyce scholars.”

The plan also includes a focus on “energy and cyber [security].” Part of this focus that isn’t directly mentioned is the new cyber security online masters. Claiming to be targeted at “working professionals,” the program is entirely online and focuses solely on career applications. The program has also been heavily marketed as part of the plan. Cyber security is the keystone to TU’s relationship with the Department of Defense, who regularly recruit from our cyber graduates. It’s no secret that cyber security and “energy” professionals are what is needed by the Tulsa elite to fuel corporate growth. The oil industry runs deep in Oklahoma, and cyber security is a burgeoning industry in the city.

This focus on STEM will always feel like an insult to all of the amazing research and study being done outside of Keplinger Hall. Our school houses one of the greatest

fields is not a direly needed shift to keep the university financially afloat. Rather, it is driven by the powerful and ultra-rich figures who have input through the Board of Trustees. The Board of Trustees is in large part composed of CEOs and presidents of giant corporations. For them, TU needs to be a factory of profitable employees that can serve the needs of the companies. Corporations are in need of cyber security professionals, not Joyce scholars.

The exact implications of this program are still unclear, and reading through the Strategic Plan’s website will only fill you with corporate PR-speak. The plan is really just a broad outline of theoretical goals, not a precise indication of policy change. There haven’t been any True Commitment-styled budget cuts announced. However, in the words of the Board of Trustees’s Chairwom-

courtesy Wikimedia commons This new strategic plan could forever change TU.

Board of Trustees Members These people represent large tech companies Sean Alexander Executive, Microsoft Corp.

Dana S. Weber President/CEO, Webco Industries Inc. Marcia MacLeod CEO, M3 Consulting These people represent Oil and Gas companies Chet Cadieux Chairman/CEO, QuikTrip Corp.

James Adelson President, Nadel & Gussman, LLC (Oil and gas) Randy A. Foutch Chairman, President, CEO, Laredo Petroleum David R. Eastin President, Echo Creek Partners, LLC (Oil and gas)

The Board of Trustees is filled with members tied to energy and technology companies.

graphic by Emma Palmer

Variety

22 March 2021

Emma Palmer: I recently rewatched the Armando Iannucci film adaptation of Charles Dickens’s “David Copperfield” (entitled “The Personal History of David Copperfield”), and I gotta say, it’s terrific. While Iannucci’s usual work tends to be biting, nihilistic and unredemptive in its satire (looking at you, “Death of Stalin”), “The Personal History of David Copperfield” is far more tender.

It’s a big novel to cram into one hour and 50 minutes, but the story doesn’t ever get too caught up in its plot to forget to have fun. The production design is incredible, and the costuming choices are delightful. Of course, the real star of the show is the film’s cast, which is stacked from tip-to-toe. Dev Patel gives an incredible performance as David Copperfield, and the supporting cast includes the likes of Tilda Swinton, Hugh Laurie, Benedict Wong, Peter Capaldi and the committed-to-the-bit-enough-to-rockthe-worlds-worst-haircut Ben Whishaw.

It’s a good deal of fun, and Patel gives us a hero to root for. Even more than that, it’s a film that understands the weight of both trauma and joy in the width of its runtime.

“David Copperfield” was Dickens’ most autobiographical novel, and this fact makes the image of David as a self-made man who deals with his unhappy childhood through writing not feel like a one to one analogy.

Even in the 21st century, it’s touching.

courtesy Filmnation Entertainment

courtesy Matador Records

courtesy Warner Brothers

courtesy Arbelos Films

Zach Short: Reject modernity; embrace tradition. I could offer any number of suggestions for modern young adult pieces or artistic creations in a variety of media: books, movies, TV shows, podcasts, bathroom stall graffiti, et cetera. However, the YA genre has a lot of garbage, and fine art gets exhausting after too much consumption. Ergo, in a most inane and low brow selection, I must humbly suggest to all the classic film “Caddyshack.”

The 1980 tour de force, directed by none other than the legendary Harold Ramis, focuses on class disparity and bourgeois indifference as it appears at Bushwood Country Club. Chevy Chase and Ted Knight star as Ty Webb and Judge Smails, respectively, both of whom are wealthy, paying members of the elite establishment. The latter, a tremendous slouch, spars with Rodney Dangerfield’s Al Czervik over the expectations of high society, especially on the golf course. Class antagonisms make for the

main storyline, however, as the greenskeeper Carl Spackler (played by Bill Murray) fights with a gopher hellbent on terrorizing patrons at the golf course, and the main protagonist, caddy Danny Noonan (Michael O’Keefe), vies for the chance to go to college in trying to win the Judge’s favors and earn the caddy scholarship.

A classic, “Caddyshack” seldom fails to become an instant favorite with any audience virgin to its charm. Bill Murray’s character, almost entirely ad-libbed, creates some of the most memorable lines in Hollywood history, while emphatic performances from both Ted Knight and Rodney Dangerfield survive long past the actors themselves through allusions from paternal figures and Twitter gifs. Anyone with an appreciation for defining moments in the history of Hollywood and of culture in general must place this flawless piece at the top of their queues.

Nothing better merits a late night spontaneous screening.

The Collegian: 5

courtesy Houghton Mifflin

Emily Every: Indie pop darling Perfume Genius recently released a collection of remixes based off his critically acclaimed 2020 record “Set My Heart On Fire Immediately,” aptly named “IMMEDIATELY Remixes.” There’s much to say about the album. We could talk about, for example, the unusual decision to remix each track only once, thereby keeping the remix album identical in tracklist to its original material. Also worth mentioning is Perfume Genius’s expansive selection of producers (A.G. Cook, Danny L Harle, Jenny Hval, Initial Talk, among others, are featured) resulting in a twisting genre-bending collection of tracks. And, of course, I’d be remiss to not mention that the remix album, despite being much more upbeat and catchy than the original album, remains just as emotionally devastating. The original “Jason” is a gut-wrenching song about an intimate encounter between strangers going south, and though the Planningtorock remix of the track introduces club and house elements to the track, it’s still so, so sad. Crying in the club realness, etc.

What I’d like to highlight more than anything else about this set of remixes, though, is that it’s crazy, wildly, unsettlingly good.

I think remixes, especially remix albums, can be a bore if not handled well. If you already know and love the tracks, it’s hard to be convinced, as a listener, that these reinterpretations are of equal quality to their first iterations. I mean, the original works as it is already, right? Why fix what’s not broken? But sometimes lightning hits twice, and I think “IMMEDIATELY Remixes” is lightning striking twice, being bottled, then put on Spotify (or your streaming service of choice) for us all to enjoy.

If nothing else, give the Jim-E Stack version of “Without You” a listen — that bass is worth your time and a half. Oh, also worth a shoutout is Jaakko Eino Kalevi’s acoustic treatment of “Whole Life,” alongside the ‘80s synthpop wonder that is Initial Talk’s take on “On the Floor,” which compliments beautifully the new wave influence on Boy Harsher’s remix of “Your Body Changes Everything.” I could keep going — the joke is that the whole album is good. Get it?

Justin Klopfer: A few weeks ago, I saw Nina Menkes’s 1991 film “Queen of Diamonds.” I don’t remember how I heard about this movie or why I watched it, but I’m so glad I did.

It’s a 77-minute film that details the life and experiences of a blackjack dealer in Vegas (Tinka Menkes) named Firdaus.

It’s a portrait of American emptiness and desolation in the desert of Vegas. The meaning of the protagonist’s name, paradise, is an ironic reminder of the juxtaposition of the idealized and actual America. Occasional paranormal events in this world prevent the viewer from melting into resigned tolerance. Menkes’s Vegas is a banal place, but there is evil lurking behind it.

The movie is centered around about 15 minutes of Firdaus dealing blackjack. There

is no audible dialogue and no camera movement. She will periodically stuff the players’ lost money into a hole in the table and deal out around round. It’s a mesmerizing scene that manages to depict the soul-sucking nature of her job without ever directly stating it. Menkes is creating a portrait of Hell, or maybe just purgatory.

The film is also gorgeous, with shots that accentuate the emptiness of Firdaus’s environment. One particular scene shows a tree slowly burning to the ground as she watches from far off. It’s not only symbolically resonant, but a well-composed and striking image by its own right. Menkes’s film is a uniquely bleak look at America in the city at the heart of its depravity.

Piper Prolago: During the semester, I always have a hard time finding enough time to sit down and read for anything other than what I’m required to do. However, I’ve found that reading short stories has given me the same sense of personal fulfillment without the commitment that an entire novel takes. In that vein, I just finished Jhumpa Lahiri’s “Interpreter of Maladies,” a book of nine short stories by this Indian-American author. Although I loved all of the stories, I thought the first one, “A Temporary Matter” was absolutely stunning. This particular story follows a couple, Shoba and Shukumar, a few months after they’ve had a miscarriage.

The power company around their house has notified them that they will have scheduled power outages for an hour each day and in that time, the couple ends up having these moments of clarity and honesty that they’ve been missing for several months.

Other stories in the collection expand beyond this kind of interpersonal exploration; “When Mr. Pirzada Came to Dine” deals with the East Pakistan-West Pakistan war through the lens of a father living in New

England who constantly watches the news in hopes of learning about the status of the rest of his family living in Pakistan. “A Real Durwan” follows Boori Ma, an elderly woman who cleans an apartment building in exchange for being able to live there, and “This Blessed House” centers on a newly married couple that keeps finding Christian relics in the house they’ve purchased. “The Third and Final Continent” recounts the experience of an Indian immigrant in the U.S. and his relationship with an elderly woman who he ends up boarding with after responding to an advertisement.

For anyone, like me, who has been missing being able to read for pleasure, I would highly recommend the Pulitzer Prize winning collection “Interpreter of Maladies,” especially “A Temporary Matter,” which is only slightly longer than 20 pages and can be found online. Each story creates a really special world in such a short amount of time, navigating transnational identity through intimate and personal vignettes.

The State-Run Media

22 March 2021

the

State-Run media Spring already? Ugh, looks like it’s time to leave the Bog.

Oh, Phew: TikTok cult assures audience they are not a cult

The commune known as “Eden” has stirred the cultist pot on TikTok, but it’s cool because they seem nice.

Anna Johns Ardently wants to join a cult For the past few weeks, TikTok has been oversaturated with posts revolving around a Kentucky commune: brandished Eden, the self-sustaining group has 50 members of varying odors, and they’re actively looking for people to join. With the address of the commune listed in their profile, the account thegardenfrees posts regular TikToks showing day-to-day life. These videos contain an array of barefoot mouth-breathers grinning to the camera, pointing to the wood they are chopping and offering a relatable roll of their eyes, as if to say, “ugh, work, am I right?”

The account is run by a chirpy little redheaded man with an ambiguous but distinctly-not-American accent. Going by the moniker “Ocean,” he exhibits a childlike love of the universe, splashing in puddles, rolling down hills and skinning alive and eating cats.

“Everyone is welcome in the Garden of Eden,” he says to the camera as if sharing a special secret, blueish eyes twinkling, “as long as you have a good work ethic and love to work and be working. Also, we totally curate good vibes here — after you are done working for the day and loved every second of your labor.”

Despite an ongoing pandemic, he internationally travels to other communes. He spent two weeks in Puerto Rico, citing an issue where he has to be out of the country for a week to take care of “business.” Any concerns regarding the possibility of getting COVID-19 are thwarted immediately: “I’ve been manifesting to not, like, get the coronavirus, and I do my daily positive affirmations. I think you’d be surprised with how much you get out of life if you are always equipped with some good vibes.”

Controversy seems to follow the commune’s TikTok. The comments have a generous outpour of cult accusations, which

The three things every American needs: the Almanac, two worshipful women and a fedora of possibilities.

seems to bother the members Ocean interviews on his account. “If we were a cult, would we do this?” asks a female member showing the daily hour of meditation, where all members face a wall and murmur the group’s mantra about “planting the seed.”

Other criticisms have been regarding the ethicality of this group. Some of Ocean’s videos have children running around or asking the TikTok audience to come and bring their kids for them to play with, and he admitted the education of the children on the commune is based off of the Farmers’ Almanac of the 1790s. Meanwhile, there are allegedly members with pasts of being serial abusers and imprisoned, to which Ocean says, “These guys have shown us they can reform, too. They know what it’s like to work backbreaking labor for no reward, and, plus, they offer such enlightening conversations.”

Despite having 50 members and existing for 15 years, the commune only has five houses and a bus where they cook. That doesn’t mean living conditions are horrible; in fact, everyone loves to sleep next to each other at night because it “really helps one get connected with the consciousness of nature and its human creations” and they feel their hours of hammering unusable wood actually means something.

As one final response to the cult label, Ocean read the constitution to the commune: “Eden is a self-sustainable, diverse commune. Our goals are to create an expansive network of like-minded communities that help us gain notoriety in sharing our message around the whole world. Also, I know it says online that we are tax-exempt because we filed our community as a 501D, but, like, I think the government’s got hacked or something. We’re actually a 501-

graphic by Anna Johns

C3, and I don’t know how the government got that so wrong, ha. That’s pretty crazy.”

With this statement, worries were assuaged. Eden is simply a group of zany outcasts with a love for nature, productivity and skinning alive and eating cats. Just because they love the outdoors and getting their feet and hands dirty does not mean they are doing something inherently wrong. Their wish to capitalize and gain power as an organization doesn’t make them cultists either.

“What we have here is the peace and love renaissance, baby. And we’ll keep it rolling, ain’t that right, gov’nuh?” Ocean says to his TikTok audience, a charismatic smile painted upon his features and a wink directed to the camera.

Big News: Sunlight Cures Depression Sara Serrano Third eye open, sadness receptors closed Neurotransmitter? I hardly know her!

Ladies and gents, I have reached a most stunning conclusion this past weekend: depression does not exist!

I stepped outside the other day into the warming sunlight and felt a most peculiar sensation. Hope? Joy? Happiness? I’m not quite sure, but it certainly felt good, much better than I’d felt in a long time.

I was “diagnosed” with depression a year ago and was familiar with the perpetual sadness and lack of motivation associated with it. It permeated my entire life and seemed like it would last forever.

But I have seen the error of my ways! My depression was but a figment of my imagination!

The change in seasons has made that clear to me now. I feel better now that I Is this the live, laugh, love experience? Wonders never cease!

graphic by Emma Palmer

can actually see the sun, so I must have never been depressed in the first place, right? Right?

I now understand those once incredulous Instagram posts. Fitness influencer Kayla was right: all I needed to cure my depression was to eat right, drink water and get some sun. I can’t wait to tell my therapist how wrong she’s been. Honestly, what she’s been doing is almost malpractice. Should I sue her?

I’m currently dumping my meds down the toilet to fully embrace my new life.

Goodbye Abilify, hello yoga! I would encourage all of you to do the same. I mean, if depression is fake, maybe all “mental illnesses” are too! Like, no, you aren’t bipolar. You just need to hit the gym again!

Join me in this wondrous new world, free from those PC, leftist, mental health toting wannabe activists. It’s beautiful out here in the sun.