12 February 2018

Student newspaper of the University of Tulsa

graphic by Madeline Woods | photos by Michaela Flonard

February 12, 2018 Issue 17 - Volume 103

Sports

The Collegian: 2

12 February 2018

Golden Hurricane survives OT thriller After taking down cellar-dwelling USF on the road, the men’s basketball team came back from a doubledigit deficit to topple Tulane and maintain their top-four conference seed.

Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor

Corey Henderson had trouble finding daylight against Tulane.

Martins Igbanu takes a tough hook shot.

photos by Dalton Stewart

The team celebrates after the win. Emboldened by a big win over SMU, the Golden Hurricane rolled into Tampa, Florida, looking forward to a much easier matchup against lowly USF. Though they didn’t play their best ball, TU was able to hold off the scrappy Bulls and win 63-54, moving above .500 in conference play while dropping their opponents to just 1-10. Looking uncharacteristically out of sorts on the offensive end out of the gate, Tulsa struggled to generate clean looks and knock down shots, missing seven of their first eight shots from the field and shooting just 26.5 percent from the floor in the half. Corey Henderson and Martins Igbanu in particular were ice cold, each held without a point, while Junior Etou once again looked frustratingly passive against an inferior defense. He made only one basket and was unable to earn a trip to the free throw line, deterred by the long arms of opposing seven-footer Nikola Scekic. Still, the Golden Hurricane annihilated the offensive glass, gobbling up 12 second-chance opportunities to USF’s one and entered the break leading by five, 28-23. Coming out firing in the second, the Bulls were led by point guard Stephan Jiggets, who scored eight points quick as a flash to help his team regain the lead. This time, however, TU had an answer in Etou, who showcased his full offensive arsenal. Faking, spinning, driving to the basket or hoisting it up from long range, Etou couldn’t be stopped. DaQuan Jeffries also had an excellent game off the bench, continuing to play the role of a man taller than his listed height of six foot five inches. Jeffries poured in 10 points, including back-to-back three pointers to help the Golden Hurricane pull away. He finished with 16 points, six rebounds and four blocks in only 23 minutes. TU got its lead up to 13 before a mini-run brought the Bulls to within five with a minute left. One dagger three from Etou later, and the threat was over. Returning home to the Reynolds Center on Thursday, Tulsa matched up against the underachieving Tulane Green Wave. It was a nailbiter for the Golden Hurricane, who fell behind by 10 to end the first half and never led in the second before tying and sending the game to overtime. In the end, they would escape with a 91-89 victory to improve to 14-10 (7-5 AAC). Tulane saw its slim chances at a first-round bye in the conference championship all but evaporate, falling to 4-7 in league play. The ball appeared much less sticky in this one. Everyone engaged and was quick to act, and TU had no problem amassing a big lead early on. Seven players managed to get

on the board in the first half, led by Etou with 11 and Sterling Taplin, who dished five assists. Unfortunately, Tulsa had no answer for Tulane’s size, and the the Green Wave absolutely dominated in the paint, shooting an astounding 64.3 percent from the field. Six-foot-six swingman Jordan Cornish, given more ball-handling license with leading scorer Melvin Frazier out for injury, penetrated the gaps in TU’s matchup zone effortlessly on his way to 14 points. Meanwhile, bench big Samir Sehic was unstoppable as a roll man, repeatedly rumbling past Igbanu and Etou for almost uncontested looks at the rim. He shot a perfect 5-5 from the floor in the half. When the horn sounded, the Golden Hurricane, despite generating all sorts of open looks and favorable mismatches, found themselves down 10 points. It was clear from the outset of the second half that the team made significant defensive adjustments to counter Tu-

repeatedly and drove to the cup like a madman, showing off some truly impressive body control. His clutch free throws with under 10 seconds to go tied the game for the Golden Hurricane. Hurrying the ball down the floor, Tulane managed a good look from three by Cornish on the left wing, but the shot was a brick. Recovered by the Green Wave, the ball was momentarily stripped, then emphatically rejected out of bounds by Taplin to send the game to OT. In the extra period, neither team looked to have an edge and the two went back and forth, trading buckets. Henderson and Jeffries each chipped in four points, but the hero was Taplin, who on TU’s final possession blew right past little used backup point guard Riley Conroy for a tough runner that dripped down the glass to give the Golden Hurricane the 91-89 advantage. It was a smart play by Taplin, who once again took advantage of an overmatched defender to take it inside. “We were in the bonus, so I just wanted to get to the hoop,” he said after the game. “Either they were going to foul or we were going to score.” One off-the-backboard brick from Conroy later and that was all she wrote.

“We were in the bonus .... Either they were going to foul, or we were going to score.” lane’s relentless attacking offense. Though it took nearly ten minutes for TU to cut substantially into the lead, they allowed fewer uncontested baskets and forced the Green Wave to play deeper into the shot clock. Coach Frank Haith would later go on to describe the adjustment as “shrinking the zone.” He told me postgame that in the first half, “We got spread out a lot in our defense. We wanted to jump into the ball better and be in gaps, not allow the lane to look so open. In the second half, they were looking more at two guys as opposed to just the one guy iso.” Even with their much-improved defensive play, the Golden Hurricane never would have had a chance without huge second-halves from Taplin and Igbanu. Overcoming several questionable calls, the two X-factors didn’t allow themselves to be punked and played their most physical halves of the year. Igbanu opted out of playing his usual back-to-the basket game, instead causing havoc with crisp baseline cuts and acting as a vacuum cleaner on the boards. He pulled down seven rebounds (four offensive) and got his hands on several more while leading all scorers in the half with 14 points. Cycling through numerous picks and handoffs on the perimeter, Taplin found himself several times facing off against Sahic on the switch. All thoughts of passivity or stepping back out of his mind, Taplin cooked the big man

Additional Thoughts As nice as it was for the Golden Hurricane to win its third consecutive game, it was somewhat discouraging that it took such a monumental effort to beat a below .500 team missing two starters. I like TU’s ability to make adjustments, but against a superior opponent, they could find themselves in too big a hole to climb out of (see the January game against Houston). In my never-ending quest to figure out Lawson Korita’s bafflingly inconsistent playing time and his continued presence in the starting lineup, I asked Coach Haith if we might see Jaleel Wheeler’s return to the starting five given the upward trend of his playing time and production over the past month (he tallied 11 points and nine rebounds in a seasonhigh 36 minutes against Tulane). I got a predictably coachspeak answer: “It’s not about who starts, it’s who finishes. That’s the way the game is played.” I mean … I guess that’s true? But if it really doesn’t matter, and if there are going to be nights where Korita barely gets five minutes of playing time, why does he continue to get the honor over Wheeler, who has seniority, or Elijah Joiner, the higher-upside freshman who could use the experience? I don’t know. This still doesn’t make any sense to me.

Sports

12 February 2018

Women’s basketball snaps losing streak After blowing a big lead over SMU, the Golden Hurricane finally earned a win with an upset at home over Houston. Joe Edmonds Student Writer

The Golden Hurricane women’s basketball team completed their two-game road trip with a visit to SMU in Dallas on Wednesday night. Early on, the game looked good for Tulsa. The offense was rolling in the first half, putting up over twenty points in each quarter. The strong scoring put them ahead at the halftime break, 43-32. The second half went much different than the first, as SMU found their offensive groove. Tulsa allowed too many offensive rebounds that gave SMU a chance to come back. In the fourth, the Golden Hurricane held a sev-

en-point lead but saw it fade away as they only managed to tally eight points in the quarter. SMU squeezed out the 74-70 victory, extending Tulsa’s conference losing streak to eight games. Following the loss, Tulsa returned home to match up against Houston. Once again, the offense was clicking for Tulsa in the first half, as they burst out to a 27-12 lead after just one quarter. The lead continued through halftime, and the second half of this game played out much different than the SMU game. This time, the offense stayed strong, scoring at least twenty in

each quarter of the second half. Houston played well in the final quarter and scored a massive thirty points, but Tulsa had a large enough lead and secured the 83-77 win. The victory snapped the eight-game losing streak, giving Tulsa their first conference win since January 6 against Cincinnati. Their record sits at 9-16 (3-9 American Athletic Conference). Next up for the Golden Hurricane is a matchup against that Cincinnati team on the road. Tipoff is at 1 p.m. on Saturday.

World’s best athletes gather in Pyeongchang For the next two weeks, the world’s premier winter sports athletes will compete for gold and glory at the Olympic Games. Zane Cawthon Student Writer Rejoice, sports fans: the XXIII Olympic Winter Games are finally here. U-S-A! US-A! The Olympics always carry an air of importance, but the Pyeongchang Games carry a special kind of weight. This marks the second time the Korean Peninsula has played host after Seoul hosted in the summer of 1988. When the unified Korean women’s hockey team takes to the ice, it will also mark the first time that North and South have ever competed under the same flag. Political grandstanding and shallow gestures of goodwill have always been Olympic mainstays, but something profound is taking place underneath the surface in 2018. When “Arirang” (the 600 year old folk song and unofficial national anthem of Korea) was sung at the Opening Ceremony, the audience could not help but understand the deep yearning for peace among the Korean people. It certainly moved this reporter to tears and served as an awe-inspiring reminder of why the Olympics exists in the first place: to foster

positive relationships in society through the bonds of sport. With the stage set beautifully on Friday, Americans can now tune in to NBC to watch all 244 US athletes compete for gold and glory in 15 sports until the closing ceremony in two weeks’ time. “But Zane, that’s, like, a lot of sports. Can you give me some highlights so I can skip the boring bits?” First of all, there’s no such thing as a boring winter sport. But it’s true that most people do not have time to watch every second of the action. Here are some important names to watch and events to catch. Snowboarder Shaun White is seeking redemption to reclaim his throne atop the world of snowboarding after a disappointing 2014 performance, while 17 year old Chloe Kim is also looking to make her mark on the sport. The iconic Lindsey Vonn is competing in her fourth Olympics after missing Sochi altogether due to injury. She’ll be representing the USA in alpine skiing, a sport she has dominated

for almost 20 years. The US men’s hockey team will be competing without a single NHL player on the roster, as league Commissioner Gary Bettman refused to split up the league’s regular season schedule to accommodate the Games (insert boos and hisses). However, as it is hockey, it will still be very exciting. Adam Rippon is the first openly gay American athlete to qualify for a Winter Olympics; he will be competing in men’s figure skating. Watching the very strange sport of biathlon (in which competitors ski cross country and then shoot rifles) is always oddly satisfying and highly recommended. The world will see Nigeria’s first ever winter Olympic team compete in women’s bobsledding. No one will see Russia compete in anything, since they have been banned from these Olympics for running a state-sponsored athlete doping scheme, although clean athletes from the country will still appear at the games under the Olympic flag. And of course, curling remains a thing.

Hurricane Scoreboard Men’s Basketball Feb. 4: Tulsa 63 - USF 54 Feb. 8: Tulsa 91 - Tulane 89

Women’s Tennis Feb. 4: Tulsa 4 - Middle Tenn. 1 Feb. 10: Tulsa 4 - Baylor 2

Women’s Basketball Feb. 7: SMU 74 - Tulsa 70 Feb. 10: Tulsa 83 - Houston 77

Softball Feb. 9: Tulsa 9 - Virginia 5 Feb. 9: McNeese St. 6 - Tulsa 3 Feb. 10: McNeese St. 8 - Tulsa 6 Feb. 11: Tulsa 3 - Houston Baptist 2

Men’s Tennis Feb. 4: Alabama 4 - Tulsa 0 Feb. 9: Oklahoma 6 - Tulsa 1

The Collegian: 3

Justin Guglielmetti is…

the

bleacher creature?

LeBron’s last stand Just when it looked like the Eastern Conference might finally be freed from its seven-year subjugation under the LeBron James dictatorship, the Cleveland Cavaliers made a series of monumental roster moves at the trade deadline to reestablish themselves as favorites to make the finals. In the span of 12 hours they changed nearly the entire composition of their roster, shipping out Dwyane Wade, Jae Crowder, Derrick Rose, Iman Shumpert, Channing Frye and my adopted son Isaiah Thomas for Rodney Hood, George Hill, Larry Nance, Jr. and Jordan Clarkson. That is a massive shakeup for this late in the season, and I expect chemistry to be an issue, at least in the early going. None of the players they got back are good enough to put the Cavs over the top to challenge the Warriors, but hey, it’s not exactly a failing to be not-quite-as-good as the greatest team ever. I expect this group of high-energy defenders and skilled shooters to really perk things up for the Cavs on both ends of the floor. When Kevin Love comes back and LeBron hits playoff mode, they’ll be better than anyone else in the East, even my beloved Celtics. Speaking of which, you’ve got to feel sorry for Isaiah Thomas. In less than a year, he has gone from an MVP candidate to a veritable waste-of-aroster spot and is now coming off the bench for a young crappy Lakers team. The Little Guy is still working his way back from his offseason hip injury, and I’ll never root for LA, but damn it do I want to see him land on his feet. “Show me the money!” Was I quoting Tom Cruise or J.D. Martinez? The world may never know. Martinez might be the best remaining player in free agency after Yu Darvish signed with the Cubs. He’s a terrific hitter, mashing .303/.376/.690 with 45 homers and just 53 strikeouts last year, and has been a 49 percent better than league-average hitter over the last four years according to his OPS+. But come on, the dude’s got to get a better grasp of his own value. Last week, he turned his nose up to a five-year $125 million contract from the Boston Red Sox because he reportedly wanted seven and 210. Is he kidding? A slugger on the wrong side of 30 who refuses to DH and doubles as perhaps the worst defender in the league thinks he should be the highest paid position player ever (by yearly value)? LO-freaking-L. I’m not crying, you’re crying Let’s not talk about that Super Bowl. I actually don’t know what’s sadder, the fact that the Patriots lost or that nobody called me out for that swing-and-a-miss in last week’s “Bleacher Creature.” Oh well, I guess nobody reads this thing anyway. Anyway, I’m going to test that hypothesis this week. I’ve got a quiz on Tuesday that we’re supposed to cheat on, so I’m going to take advantage using my vast influence over the print media. Without further ado, psychographics is “what make a person tick.” USP is a unique selling proposition. Strategic advertising includes identifying your USP, target market and product position. The “Sweet Spot” is the intersection of consumer and brand insight. You should never try to be clever at the expense of clarity. The brand value circle is Communication, Expectation, Experience, Repeat Purchase, Loyal Customer. The six most basic human wants and needs are financial, maternal, survival, sex, ego and guilt. Attitude is the only A more important than the one from Pretty Little Liars. Billboards slogans should be limited to seven words or less. Finally, you’ll know you’re right when something makes sense, it feels right, someone else loves it and it will inspire you to do better work.

Feb. 12 - Feb. 18 Monday

Tuesday 12

Wednesday 13

14

No No No Events Events Events

Thursday 15

Men’s Tennis vs. Arkansas Pine Bluff 1 p.m.

Saturday

Friday 16

Softball vs. Iowa 10 a.m.

Softball Men’s Tennis @ Texas A&M vs. ORU 5:15 a.m. 6 p.m. Men’s Basketball @ UConn 6 p.m.

Track & Field Alex Wilson Invitational

Women’s Tennis vs. DePaul 12 p.m.

18

17

Women’s Basketball @ Cincinnati 1 p.m. Softball @ Texas A&M 3 p.m. Softball vs. Butler 5:15 p.m.

Sunday Softball vs. Iowa 9 a.m. Women’s Tennis @ Purdue 9 a.m. Men’s Basketball vs. USF 2 p.m.

The Collegian: 4

News

12 February 2018

Dr. McClendon takes on role as director of counseling Director Michael McClendon discusses plans for the future of TU’s counseling. Kayleigh Thesenvitz Editor-in-Chief For many students on campus Dr. Michael McClendon is a well-known and trusted confidant, but for many more an introduction is necessary. Recently promoted to director of counseling following the retirement of TU’s longtime director Dr. Tom Brian, McClendon has a long list of new responsibilities and a longer list of plans for the future. “My charge is management and operations of the counseling center,” McClendon said. “It’s my responsibility from a fiscal perspective, a clinical perspective and also scope and direction for the future.” The majority of McClendon’s professional counseling experience has been in the university context. “One of the things that a counseling center at a university always has to deal with is demand,” McClendon continued. “The trend has always been at least an expected five-percent bump on demand from the previous year.” “The demand for counseling continues to rise as the stigma around mental health continues to decrease,” he said. At three full-time staff, the staff-to-student ratio is approximately one to every 1,150 students. “That’s a high ratio, especially given how much students rely on us,” McClendon said. “One of the things we want to do is manage the flow of students into and out of the counseling center,” he continued. Research show that when people make use of therapy, they are more likely to progress in treatment when they have a financial stake in their progress. “When it’s just an open-ended resource, there’s not much value placed on that,” McClendon said. McClendon plans to shift the structure of how services are offered. Instead of unlimited sessions at no cost, students will have 10 free sessions each academic year, and subsequent sessions will cost $10 each. The $10 fee is at the discretion of the clinician in case of severe circumstances. “We’re not trying to make money here, we’re not going to make money. It’s meant to be a prod,” McClendon said. “We’re using a mix of individual therapy, group therapy sessions and we’re collaborating with other departments on campus to provide skills-based workshops and address resiliency issues and distress tolerance stuff to help all students, not just students seeking out therapy,” McClendon continued. McClendon said hopefully the diversity

of resources will clear up the pipeline so clinicians can spend their time on clients with the most need and minimize the waitlist. One new resource is a free mental toughness workshop called SHAPE, which will be available to anyone who needs it every Monday from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. The workshop will teach helpful skills for handling stress. McClendon bragged on the accomplishments of his predecessor, who led the department for 29-and-a-half years. “When I started here in 2011, I was really shocked by how well referred we were from other departments,” McClendon said. “It’s unusual for me to go to any department and talk to professors and they not know Tom and the counseling center.” McClendon said that this was not the case at other places he had worked. “It’s to Tom’s credit. He did a wonderful job making this an office, a department and a resource that faculty, staff and students all considered safe, familiar, comfortable to approach and useful place,” McClendon said. McClendon’s professional history makes him an ideal candidate to follow in Brian’s footsteps. McClendon’s path to psychology began as a sophomore. “I was fascinated with the concept that you could understand and potentially predict human behavior,” McClendon said. “I wasn’t going to pursue graduate school because I didn’t think I could cut it,” McClendon said. “I didn’t have the self confidence to think that I could do graduate school.” It took a friend encouraging him to visit the University of Tulsa for him to apply to the masters program and eventually work his way up to the doctorate. McClendon said he loves working at college campuses because it coincides with a time in people’s lives when they are most introspective. “You can’t help but sit in a class and apply that knowledge to what you see around you.,” McClendon said. “It fosters this kind of introspection about ourselves and our place in the world which is the perfect time to make changes.” “It sounds cliche, but there are people here at TU and people all across the world going to universities that really are going to change things. They really can be change agents. I want them to be the most welladjusted change McClendon will still see patients out of necessity. TU has funding for three full-time counseling positions, but currently there are only two counselors, McClendon and Dr. Krupa Hegde, who joined the staff January 5. The hiring process is ongoing for the third staff member, and the counseling center has been approved to hire a full-time intern in the fall.

mana courtesy Psychology of Everything

Including the counseling practicum graduate students who will work in the department next year, employees may be spilling out the Alexander Health Center. “Given where the university is and the spectrum of growth and hardships with the fiscal stuff that has happened over the last couple of years … there’s not any current plans for new buildings or moving,” McClendon said. As space gets cramped, McClendon will give up his office while he is in meetings with the university so that the graduate students in practicum can meet with students. Counseling services must make the most out of office space as the number of students needing counseling services continues to

grow. In the fall 2017 semester, two staff members met with roughly 400 to 500 clients. “Usually in an academic year, we see roughly 800 students,” McClendon said. “But that doesn’t actually capture the demand.” Last semester, there were 25 to 30 students stuck on a waiting list, McClendon said. “We will probably never meet fully the demand that we have from students, but we want to do better than what we have done,” McClendon said.

Crisis/emergency recommended procedure TU Counseling & Psychological Services Center If a student is in crisis (i.e., at risk of harming self or other, in need of immediate psychological attention), they are welcome to call TU Counseling & Psychological Services at 918-631-2200 and/or walk in to Alexander Health Center anytime Monday – Friday, 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.and 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. They can request a counseling appointment utilizing the words “crisis” or “urgent” to meet with a counselor as soon as that can be arranged. After hours, in the event of this type of situation, we recommend calling Campus Security at 918-631-5555. They have additional resources available, including an after-hours contact phone number for TU CPSC personnel. Additional resources include: COPES, a Tulsa psychological crisis management facility/team 918-744-4800 FCS Crisis Care Center, a Tulsa crisis management facility 918-921-3200 Laureate Psychiatric Hospital 918-491-5600 Parkside Psychiatric Hospital 918-588-8888

Oklahoma legislative session began Feb. 5 Prepare for the 2018 legislative session by reading up on what’s ahead. Nathan Hinkle Student Writer The Oklahoma legislative session began February 5, and work has started on fixing the issues at hand. The major focus at the beginning will be on bills that are specifically marked Emergency. For example, Senate Bill 1 addresses a current issue with Oklahoma driver’s licenses. The federal government in 2005 issued the Real ID Act in an attempt to tighten laws concerning border security and worker visas. Full implementation has been pushed back for years as states attempted to ready themselves. The Oklahoma legislature originally rejected the bill in 2007, stating fears of information security for Oklahoma residents. At the Depart-

ment of Homeland Security’s insistence, the Oklahoma House of Representatives passed the bill in 2017, allowing Oklahomans the choice of keeping their old IDs or choosing a new federal ID. The Oklahoma government has until October 2018 to hand out the new IDs. Senate Bill 8, which provides a minimum salary schedule for all Oklahoma teachers, is also on the emergency list. The pay schedule will be based on years of employment and formal education or board certification. The lowest amount a full-time teacher can be paid (without a bachelor’s degree or previous experience) is $36,600. The teacher’s salary and benefits increase with higher education levels and teaching experience. The highest minimum salary of $51,000 is for teachers with a doctorate and 25 years of experience. Other laws, including SB15, with its focus on teacher recruitment programs, and SB16, which focuses on funding for schools, also made the emergency list. Senate Bill 9 removes the ability to vote by party during elections. Voters in previous

elections had the opportunity to vote for a singular political party and all of their votes would go to candidates who are filed under that specific party. Voters are now required to check their specific candidate of choice for each elected position on the ballot. Both the Oklahoma House of Representatives and the Oklahoma Senate have members who will be required to leave after this session concludes due to term limits. In the House, 12 members will step down before the 2018 elections. In the Senate, there are six. Representatives serve two-year terms and can only have six terms throughout their entire careers. Oklahoma senators serve four-year terms and are only allowed three total terms. 2018 will also be a busy year for elections. In addition to several special elections, state general elections start June 26 and end November 6. The legislative session began on February 5 and ends on May 25. There are 101 state house districts across Oklahoma, and each is allowed to elect one representative.

The Oklahoma Senate has 48 districts and therefore 48 senators. However, currently both the Senate and the House of Representatives have a single vacant seat due to currently running special elections. By going to www.okhouse.gov and www.oksenate. gov, one can find their state representatives. In addition to this, one also can use www. openstates.org to identify their state representatives. Open States is a tool created by the Sunlight Foundation, a non-profit group based on government transparency, to explain current members in government as well as legislation. To register to vote, one can download the application from the Oklahoma State Election Board website or receive a free physical copy at any local tag agency office. After filling in the proper info, mail it to the State Election Board at the address written on the application. The 2018 Oklahoma Senate elections include the primary on June 26, the primary runoff on August 28, and the general election on November 6.

‘FISCH’, TU’s preparation for renewed accreditation

TU faculty and students engage in “campus-wide effort” to fulfill the criteria of the Higher Learning Commision. Emily Every Student Writer

In March, the Higher Learning Commission will visit TU to determine the university’s accreditation status. This is no particular secret, and TU has

been frank in its wish for both faculty and students to work together in “a campus-wide effort,” to ensure the university’s continued accreditation, to quote President Clancy’s recent video on the subject. TU staff wearing FISCH shirts on Mission Mondays is the newest component of this effort. FISCH is a loose acronym for for Free Inquiry, Scholarship, Integrity of Character and Commitment to Humanity. Clancy introduced FISCH in an email sent out to students January 9. TU is adopting FISCH as its mission, as well as the guidelines by which the HLC will judge the university.

HLC, one of the six regional institutional accreditors in the United States, does accreditation visits every ten years for universities to be able to grant degrees. The first of the HLC’s five criterions for accreditation is the efficacy and public articulation of the institution’s mission statement. According to the HLC, this judgement of efficacy includes the “the relationship between [the] mission and the diversity of society” and the mission’s “commitment to the public good.” These two particular nuances manifest in the “commitment to humanity” element of TU’s mission.

The FISCH shirts themselves fulfill HLC’s requirement for public articulation and knowledge of the mission. Clancy presents the mission as part of “the culture of care,” which focuses on taking care of yourself and others. It also has links to “the TU commitment” by emphasizing acceptance and engagement. According to Clancy, the implementation of the FISCH program comes after 18 months of planning with the university’s HLC team. HLC will be at the University of Tulsa March 5 and 6.

12 February 2018

Jan. 28 2:30 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to a noise complaint in the Brown Village Apartments. The residents were having a party and making noise after quiet hours. The party was shut down and all of the guests left the dwelling. The apartment residents were issued a housing contact card. 7:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to John Mabee Hall for a fire alarm. Officers determined that the alarm had been activated due to burnt food in the basement. Tulsa Fire Department was cancelled and the students were allowed to return to their rooms. 8:30 p.m. Campus Security Officers passed by a Mayo Village Apartments residence and smelled a marijuana odor coming from the exterior air vent. Officers made contact with one of the residents who had just returned to the apartment when officers were outside the residence. A quick search of the apartment was conducted, but no paraphernalia was visible. The other resident of the apartment was not home, but had tobacco residue in her bathroom sink.

News

The Collegian: 5

Jan. 29 8:30 a.m. While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers stopped a suspicious individual in the University Square Apartments West parking lot. The individual had a pair of pliers on the front handlebars of their bike and appeared to be searching the lot. A warrants check on the Tulsa Police Department website returned with two warrants. Tulsa Police were contacted and could not confirm the warrants. The individual was trespass warned and escorted off campus. A contact card was created.

tempting to steal a bicycle. Upon arrival officers searched the area for the suspect, made contact with an individual similar to the description, but were unsuccessful in locating the suspect. The bicycle was successfully recovered near the location.

8:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Mayo Village Apartments Lot for a report of a hit and run motor vehicle accident. Officers met with a student who stated they had their car parked for two hours in the parking lot, and when they returned there was a large dent and scrapes on the rear of the vehicle. Officers were unable to determine any suspect vehicles.

10:30 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Brown Village Apartments in response to a reported fire on the breezeway of an apartment. Upon arrival, Officers did not see any flames or smoke, so the Tulsa Fire Department was cancelled. A group of witnesses stated that they had put out the fire with water prior to officers’ arrival. Housing and the Physical Plant were notified of the incident.

Jan. 30 4:30 pm. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Lorton Hall for a larceny report. A faculty member reported that a framed painting was removed from a classroom. The faculty member was unsure of the time the item was removed, but believed it occurred over the past few weeks.

Feb. 3 4:20 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the University Square Apartments South for a report of loud music coming from a vehicle in the parking lot. Officers spoke with the student and issued a verbal warning for their loud music.

Feb. 2 10:45 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Mayo Village Apartments for a suspicious individual at-

Feb. 5 12:30 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers received a report of a student being harassed by a non University affiliate on

11:00 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers received a report of a student being harassed online by an unknown individual starting in the month of January. Officers spoke with the student and collected information regarding the online posts.

multiple occasions, off campus. Officers advised the student to inform Security of any further incidents or if the suspect is on campus. 1:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Brown Village Apartments for a report of suspicious activity. Officers met with a student who reported that the window to their apartment had been tampered with. Upon further investigation, it was determined that the reporting party’s roommate had tried to gain access into the apartment through the window. 3:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the area of 700 South Columbia Avenue for a report of offensive language written on a sidewalk. Officers investigated the area and discovered the writing on a City of Tulsa owned sidewalk. Officers were able to wash away the language from the sidewalk. 12:40 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Mayo Village Apartments for a noise complaint. Officers located the source of the noise and made contact with the resident. The resident was advised to keep the volume of their television down. A Housing Contact Card was issued. The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Tuesday, February 13 at 3:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. Helmerich Hall, HELM 121 #Adulting 101 Series: What Type of Insurance Do I Need? ALL BUSINESS STUDENTS are invited to attend this workshop to help you decide what insurance you need and determine the best resources. The public is invited and encouraged to attend.

Emma Palmer Student Writer

SpaceX successfully launches rocket in Florida Elon Musk’s private company SpaceX successfully launched one of its most powerful rockets on Tuesday. Named “Falcon Heavy,” it was the first step to the company’s ultimate goal of colonizing Mars, according to the SpaceX website. The rocket’s success was particularly notable because, unlike other rockets, the Falcon Heavy is made with the intent of being reusable. After being successfully launched into space, two of the rocket’s boosters broke from the main rocket and landed in Florida. The third booster, however crashed into the Atlantic Ocean. Unfazed, Musk said that watching the two boosters successfully land was “probably the most exciting thing I’ve ever seen.” The main rocket continues on its trajectory toward Mars, with its single passenger: Musk’s old cherry-red Tesla sports car, with a space-suited mannequin in the driver’s seat.

Cape Town prepares to run out of water Due to the massive three-year drought that has plagued Cape Town, South Africa, the city is expected to run out of water and has been preparing for “Day Zero,” when the water reserves become so low that rationing will have to be enforced. Day Zero is currently set for May 11. Residents will be forced to queue at one of roughly 200 specific ration points. Water is expected to be cut for up to 75 percent of Cape Town residents. Tourist sites are expected to be spared, as the tourism industry generates much revenue for the city. Additionally, hospitals and schools will continue to have access to water.

Bermuda revokes same-sex marriage Less than a year after legalizing same-sex marriage, Bermuda has become the first country to repeal the law. On Wednesday, Bermuda Governor John Rankin signed a bill that abolishes legal same-sex marriage and replaces it with the Domestic Partnership Act. Any marriages that were legalized during the time of legal same-sex marriage will continue to be recognized by the state. According to government officials, the Domestic Partnership Act will grant samesex couples the same rights as married couples, but without the title of marriage. The act has been publicly denounced by The Human Rights Campaign. The reform has also been disparaged by the UK’s foreign office, which said, “The introduction of same-sex marriage last year put Bermuda among the most progressive countries in the region in terms of LGBT equality. It is therefore disappointing to see them taking a step backwards and removing the right for same-sex couples to marry in Bermuda.”

Russian jet crashes, kills all 71 on board Minutes after takeoff, the Antonov An-148, a jet from Saratov Airlines headed for the city of Orsk, Russia, vanished. Wreckage from the plane was found shortly after, scattered over a large area of land about 25 miles from Moscow. Contact with the plane was lost four minutes after takeoff, when it descended rapidly, ultimately crashing. The cause of the crash is currently unknown, but according to eyewitnesses, the plane was on fire as it fell. There appear to be no survivors, according to Mixam Sololov, Russia’s minister of transportation. Authorities are currently investigating the crash, which is the first commercial plane crash since December of 2016.

Tuesday, Febuary 13 at 7:30 p.m. Lorton Performance Center, Meinig Recital Hall Béla Rózsa Music Composition Competition and Concert Every year the highlight of the Béla Rózsa Composition Competition is a concert performance. TU student composers will be competing, and there will be performances of the winning high school compositions. Three professional composers will judge the competition. The winners and prizes will be announced at the end of the competition once the judging is completed. The public is invited and encouraged to attend.

Thursday, Febuary 15 at 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. Alexandre Hogue Gallery MA/MFA Thesis Exhibition: Jini Kim & Micheal Teal Thesis Candidates Mike Teal and Jini Kim display their work from February 15 – March 15, 2018. Opening Reception February 15, 2018, 5-7 p.m. Gallery Hours Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m.- 4:30 p.m. Thursday, Febuary 15 at 7:30 p.m. Lorton Performance Center, Gussman Concert Hall TU Jazz Concert The University of Tulsa School of Music will present a jazz concert. The award winning Jazz Ensemble I will be featured in a concert of traditional and contemporary big band music. Friday, February 16 at 5 p.m. Chapman Hall, Lecture Hall The Pleistocene Peopling of the Americas: Are we finally arriving at some answers? Presented by Lambda Alpha Anthropology Honor Society and the Odell Foundation Lecture Series, world-renowned archaeologist David Meltzer from Southern Methodist University will present his recent research in the peopling of the Americas, with a particular focus on ancient DNA studies that provide new evidence for the continental route of America’s first peoples. Meltzer is the foremost authority of the Clovis Culture. His recent publication The Great Paleolithic War explores the story of a scientific quest that set off one of the longest-running feuds in the history of American anthropology, one so vicious at times that anthropologists were deliberately frightened away from investigating potential sites. Meltzer holds an appointment as Affiliate Professor in Prehistory, Climate and Environment, at the Center for GeoGentics, Natural History Museum, University of Copenhagen, Denmark, and is a Faculty Associate in the Department of Human Evolutionary Biology, Harvard University, Cambridge, Mass. February 16 to February 17 at 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Tyrrell Hall, Auditorium SAVE and WGS Present: Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues” SAVE and WGS present the 2018 production of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues! Visit the Eventbrite to purchase tickets in advance (strongly recommended). All proceeds will be donated to Domestic Violence Intervention Services of Tulsa. The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar. Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

Commentary

The Collegian: 6

12 February 2018

The on-campus housing pros and cons you need to know

As housing selection begins, take a look at the places to live at TU and the reasons we love and hate them. The Collegian Staff

Norman Village Situated in the northwest corner of campus, Norman Village is really only close to the Collins Fitness Center and the University school. This block has both two- and one-bedroom apartments, along with a pool and a clubhouse. Pros: • The pool is barely used, and decently sized. Plus, the clubhouse has free food once a week and coffee when it’s open. I just have no clue when that is. • Design-wise, the kitchen is pretty big, enough to have two people wander around at the same time and not hate each other. The kitchen is a little more secluded from the rest of the room, as there’s a high bar-top. • Deck! Multiple uses, including: hammock, garden, place to have parties and scream until two a.m. (you know who you are), bike storage and an overall great hangout spot during nice weather. Cons: • The screaming children at University School. Apparently, children love to just scream when they’re outside, having fun. So. Expect to hear screams Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eventually, you learn to tune it out or think the children are adorable. • Not really situated near any classes, though the walks to Chapman, Helmerich and Phillips aren’t too bad. • The rooms seem to have an aversion to centrally-located lights. There’s one in the dining room, but not one in the living room area, meaning if you’re working there after dark, it’s hard to do anything. There are no central lights in the rooms either, just switches that control an electrical outlet. • The screaming children really ruin my attempts at chilling out on the deck. Only about half the apartment block has that problem.

photo by Michaela Flonard

A typical residence in Norman Villiage, with a porch for get-togethers.

Mayo Village In the southwest corner of campus, Mayo Village is closer to administrative buildings than to classrooms. But really, if you’re living in the newest and nicest apartments on campus, can you really complain? Pros: • The floor plans are really conducive to party-throwing, if that is your kind of thing. • Between the square-footage, layout and utilities, this block of the apartments is easily the closest to fair market value of TU’s apartments. Maybe that’s why they put all the athletes here. Cons: • It is The Party VillageTM. There is no such thing as a peaceful weekend. • The apartments are rife with illegal pets. Most of them don’t bark too much unless they are outside. The real problem is the people who don’t clean up after taking their dog out into the courtyard. • No matter what classrooms you’re headed to, you’ll have a decent walk. US West Located on the far west side of campus across the Delaware River (er, avenue), here is the humble abode of workout warriors, philosophers and aspiring businessmen. Pros: • Proximity to the gym! You think Norman is close to Collins? Child please, West is literally right next door. This is especially helpful in January when you want to get swole, but there’s a windchill of absolute zero. • Trust me, West only feels far away from everything. It’s actually barely a three-minute walk from the business and arts & sciences colleges. • Cost-effectiveness. College students are always complaining about being broke. So doesn’t it make sense to live in the least expensive apartment complex? • Balconies are a real nice thing to have in the spring and fall. • Though it’s not quite as bougie as Norman’s or Mayo’s, the centrally

located pool is still an awesome hangout. • There is at least one apartment with a taxidermy ram’s head inside. It may or may not be my own. Cons: • I won’t sugarcoat this: there’s dog crap everywhere. You may think it’s adorable when your neighbor comes home with two slobbering puppies, but it won’t be long before you can’t walk in the grass anymore. • Flooding is an issue. Heavy rain adversely affects any mostly-flat campus because the water accumulates in all sorts of weird places, but West’s drainage issues are a different beast entirely. You might want to invest in some rubber boots for when you walk down the stairs to find your breezeway blocked off in both directions by a miniature Marianas Trench. • The floor tiles and countertops really lack the pizzazz of the newer complexes. • Are you an engineer? Do you plan on eating anything besides homecooked meals while on campus? You’re going to have a ways to walk, and that includes crossing a fairly busy street. At least you’ll get your steps in! • There is at least one apartment with a taxidermy ram’s head inside. It may or may not be my own. Brown Village Brown Village is adjacent to Harvard Avenue on the east side of campus. Though it doesn’t have a pool or balconies like some of the other apartment complexes, it has its benefits. Pros: • Prime location close to ACAC and Keplinger Hall, great for engineers and people with Dining Dollars! • No staff on-site, so if you’re interested in illegally keeping a cat or burning a candle (you absolute savage, you), this is the place to do it. • The apartments are spacious, and the kitchen appliances and cabinets are relatively new. • The Brown Village apartments all have beautiful tall windows that let in lots of natural light. • Lots of closet space! Cons: • There is a high likelihood that your apartment will be overrun by roaches. Brown is notorious for pest problems. • During game day, fans will park in your parking lot and campo will not ticket them. This will force you to drive around campus for half an hour looking for a parking spot. Staff will not let you park in any of the other lots because they are now all reserved for sports fans. You will wave your fist angrily and bitterly park in the US West lot. • No staff on-site, so if you have a question or need help with something you’ll have to trek across campus to the Norman Village Clubhouse. • The windows let in a lot of natural light, but they also let in the cold, which might affect your electricity bill during the winter. Hardesty Hall The newest housing on campus, this place has suite-style living: two in a room with two rooms sharing a bathroom. Pros: • The furniture is super nice. Now you can have the loft bed you, or at least I, always dreamed of. • You’re right next to ACAC and Kep, with everything else being not super far away. Mostly though, you can always get Subway. Cons: • The lights are set to automatically go off. Which is a great energy saving idea that I would normally adore. It’s just that if you, and your roommate, end up doing work or watching Netflix or something and not moving for long enough, they shut off, and then you’re forced to dangerously dangle from the top bunk to get them to turn back on. • Sharing a tub and toilet can be stressful if you’re in a rush and someone else is there and they take their sweet time. • The whole hall, at least when I was there, was kinda dead. Not a ton of social life. If you want a quiet dorm, this is a step up from Lottie, but don’t expect much. Lottie Jane Located just off of the Old U, or Dietler Commons, and across from the Pat Case Dining Center. Jam-packed full of traditions and superstitions, it’s a great way to find a place for yourself on campus. Pros: • Lottie might be haunted by Lottie herself (who is, by most accounts, a sweetheart). There are reports of strange things (broken floors, broken

picture frames, books falling over) when people obstruct the view from Lottie Jane Mabee and John Mabee, a married couple whose portraits stand in the lobbies of their respective halls, directly across from each other. • There are so many lounges! Some are set aside as social lounges, others strictly study lounges with effective 24/7 quiet hours. They’re stocked with comfy couches and spacious tables. • Lottie and the John collaborate often, most notably with the annual Mabee Week, where they bring in Topeka, Paul Mitchell cosmetologists and other campus-wide events with different activities every day. Cons: • If you’re not a fan of girls, this hall isn’t for you, since it is an all-girls hall. • It might be haunted, so if Buzzfeed Unsolved and other ghost-hunting-lite shows freak you out, consider how much you believe in ghosts before signing up. • The rooms vary wildly in size, so knowing what to expect is hit-ormiss.

photo by Michaela Flonard Hardesty’s showroom, featuring a stand-alone closet and a loftable bed.

John Mabee The hall is located across from Lottie on the Old U, directly east of Chapman Hall. Pros: • Rooms are rather large, with two closets per double and a sink-andmirror combo by the door in each room. • Study rooms are numerous and often empty, making for good spots to quietly work in a different environment. • The elevator kind of works. Cons: • The snack machine in the basement doesn’t take campus cards, and the drink machine often gets jammed. • On at least one occasion, a couple of students set off the fire alarm in the kitchen. Frequent drills mean standing in the cold in pajamas. • The laundry room is consistently swamped with forgotten clothing and smells dryly of burnt lint. Roaches like to climb into peoples’ hampers, though their population has been recently curbed. West Suites Located on the corner of 8th and Dela-

ware, connected to the cafeteria and the Housing offices. Pros: • Everyone gets their own room in a suite, and each suite has three-tofour rooms, a bathroom and a living room. This is the holy grail of personal space in residence halls. • There are laundry rooms on every floor. If you’ve ever had to lug your laundry up and down three flights of stairs every time you wanted to wash clothes, you’ll understand that a close laundry room defines what it means to be living a good life. • As the smallest building on campus and with the privacy of the suites, West lends itself to as much or as little community interaction as you want. Cons: • Again, as the smallest building on campus with the privacy of suites, it can start to feel a little lonely, especially if you don’t have an established social circle yet. • The ceilings are incredibly short, and the lobby is diminishingly small, which makes the hall feel emptier than it really is. • You have to clean your own bathroom, which isn’t a problem until you have messy suitemates who refuse to wipe the sink or pick up after themselves. Fisher South Fisher South is located in the westernmost corner of campus. It’s exclusive to freshmen and designed to help shape the freshman year experience. Pros: • The cool three-story design with open lobbies on each floor. It looks neat and is also super conducive to making friends, as people tend to hang out in the lobbies. There’s lots of lounge space on each floor. • The hall is exclusive to freshmen, which makes it easier to make friends going into your first year of college — everyone’s in the same boat and looking to meet new people! • Located immediately next to the caf, so you don’t have to walk very far through the cold/rain/sleet/heat to grab a bite. • Events are often hosted in Fisher South, so there’s typically a lot of activity. Cons: • Fisher South is probably the least updated hall, so the rooms and furnishings aren’t necessarily top notch. • The cinder block walls are sort of gloomy, and it’s difficult to hang things on them. • Communal bathrooms. Some people don’t mind this, but it can be a con when you have 15 minutes to take a shower and all of them are full. • There’s only one laundry room, and you have to walk through the firstfloor boys’ hallway to get to it.

tucollegian@tucollegian.org

editor-in-chief

Kayleigh Thesenvitz managing editor

Michaela Flonard news editor

Trenton Gibbons sports editor

Justin Guglielmetti variety editor

Ethan Veenker commentary editor

Raven Fawcett satire editor

Adam Lux photo & graphics editor

Madeline Woods

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Hannah Kloppenburg distribution managers

Amber Bonag-Stoner Katelyn Baken and Nathan Gibbons copy editor

Bryant Loney

@TUCollegian

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations. Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising@tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday proir to publication. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian.org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

12 February 2018

Commentary

The Collegian: 7

The Legislative Digest is your weekly look at the happenings of Oklahoma’s state legislature, upcoming bills and the terms to know. Raven Fawcett Commentary Editor Legislature continues to move slowly, as all government does. Here’s a look at what’s happening before and up to bills being passed or passed over. HR1022: This bill recognizes February 7, 2018, as Rose Day at the state capitol. It was introduced on February 5 and passed and signed by the governor by February 8. It is in support of unborn children, against “trafficking in body parts of aborted babies” and generally anti-choice in sentiment. Sure, this isn’t going to affect our everyday lives. But it feels like a moral judgement on a subject that hasn’t been properly argued or agreed upon. SB1333: The title was stricken, which means that the title was changed. Thrillingly, this bill puts an effective date of October 1, 2018, and an actual measurement for what counts as a drink of spirits and other alcohols. There are worse bills to pass, and this one actually helps to clarify rules that people could be charged for, both in terms of buying alcohol and getting the attention of police. SB1551: The “Parental Rights Immunization Act” would require parents to consent to their children being vaccinated after consulting with the child’s doctor to understand the pros and cons of vaccination. On the one hand, I absolutely believe every child who can be vaccinated should be. On the other, this is a great chance to spread accurate information and for parents to understand real risks that are associated with certain vaccines, especially if their child has an immune system issue that heightens risks.

Tire inflation stations, bike shop fall flat

While TU portrays itself as bikefriendly, there are few places and few times to get help, rent bikes or inflate tires. Alex Garoffolo Student Writer As an avid biker, I never understood TU’s bicycle program: why does a campus with an army of yellow bikes, meant to be free for student use, have an air pump that doesn’t work? Why are so many students on a waiting list to receive a bicycle, yet there’s an entire locked rack of bikes right outside LaFortune? Why are bike shop hours limited? Why does the bike shop have so few employees? Slow down, back up. One at a time. TU has two bike pumps for students who don’t want to buy their own. Besides the one

by Keplinger Hall, the other sits right outside the caf, so you can have an audience watch you when you completely deflate your tires in an attempt to put some air in them. Sound crazy? It’s true. The first time I used the pump, it completely deflated my tire, actually sucking out air. And I’m no amateur at pumping air. My friends used it, after my judicious warning to stay cognizant, and it lowered their tire pressure too. In talking to other bikers on campus, I have yet to meet anybody who can successfully use the caf bike pump. I have not yet attempted to use the one by Kep. The only other place on campus to air up your tires, which according to my contacts at Phat Tire Bicycle on 2nd street, should be done after every time you ride, is the bike shop in Lafortune.

meetings, afternoon classes, evening project group meetings, do homework in the mornings and ride on the weekends, this six-hour time frame can be a pain. What happens when you need to inflate your tires in the morning? Or on the weekends? Shouldn’t a modern college’s bike program have working pumps available ? Having deflated tires isn’t just a pain in the ass (literally) — it’s hard on the bike’s body and can damage the wheel’s frame. I’ve had several conversations with employees at bike shops in Tulsa and all say the same thing: proper, routine inflation of tires is essential to a bike’s longevity and a user’s comfort. Sitting right outside the bike shop at Lafortune is a massive rack of unused yellow bikes, locked together (don’t worry, I checked). Are they broken? If so, we have

“It’s quite apparent that the time has come for a review of the bike program.” Ah yes, the bike shop. Only open Monday–Friday, noon to six p.m, it’s about as convenient as a campus bike pump that deflates tires. Yes, it houses a pump that actually puts air inside tires, but you gotta get there first. For those of us who have lunch

a bike shop with tools and paid student employees for a reason, right? If they aren’t broken, why doesn’t TU give them to the scores of students stuck on the infinite waitlist? Speaking of the waitlist, how early does a student need to be on campus to get

selling crew cabs? Your guess is as good as mine and that sort of ambiguity is the first problem with this ad, though it’s hardly the most significant. No, far worse is the utter hypocrisy and ignorance of King’s work that Ram is projecting by using his words to target a middle-aged, white, working-class demographic. Now you might be thinking, “wasn’t there an article just last week in the Collegian that defended the borrowing of cultural icons as a display of cross-racial unity?” And you would be right. But that is not quite the same issue that is at play here, and it shouldn’t be defended as such. I have no problem with white people listening to, learning from or using the words of MLK, who believed in the equality and eventual unity of races. There are, however, certain folks out there who should probably think twice about relying on Dr. King to defend their own positions, since they simultaneously dilute or flat out ignore critical elements of his civil rights preaching. In particular, I’m thinking of those redneck football fans who vowed never to watch another NFL game after players knelt in defiance of racism during the national anthem, or even worse, suggested that those same players should face some sort of criminal penalty for it. If you are so pathetically thin-skinned and fascistic that you would seek to ban a peaceful protest just because you disagree with its message, you’ve got no business adulating a man who built his career on civil disobedience in defiance of injustice. Obviously not

ments of the past. We should never assume that people like Dr. King were universally accepted in their day as wholly righteous arbiters of the “correct way” to protest, or that in 2018 they would outright condemn groups like Black Lives Matter just because they utilize slightly different methods. As for the charge towards the kneelers of anti-patriotism, it’s really not so different from many of the things that King said himself. In the very sermon that is quoted in the Ram commercial, he accuses the United States, despite his professed love for the country, of committing more war crimes than any other nation in history. King was a contentious figure who knew that causing a ruckus was a necessity for instigating change, and he did not bat an eye when questioning the nobility or intentions of the military-industrial complex. Gun-toting, stars and stripes bleeding Republicans can kid themselves all they want by pretending that the last “good” civil rights leaders died in the ‘60s. It’s just so disingenuous and disrespectful to see a company play on

a bike? By the first day of orientation my freshman year, there was a waitlist! The first day! If we’re going to have a program that gives bikes to students, wouldn’t it make sense to have enough working units that we don’t run out before upperclassmen even return to campus? Let’s recap. A public pump that doesn’t work. Scores of students on an endless waitlist. An entire rack of bikes that are either broken and could be fixed or are ready for use and just sit there for aesthetics. Either way, they do no good to students by staying locked up at LaFortune. TU has a nice campus for riding. TU has plenty of students who want access to a bike so they can get to class faster. TU has plenty of bikes that are sitting idle and locked together. It’s quite apparent that the time has come for a review of the bike program. The mission should be longer bike shop hours, hiring more bike shop workers who can (oh my god!) fix the broken bikes and more bikes for students in general. And don’t forget! Please TU, if you do nothing else, if you don’t increase bike shop hours, fix up the old bikes or acquire more units so more students can ride, please at least give those of us who are lucky enough to have a bike public air pumps that actually work.

Ram misses the mark with Super Bowl ad

Ram trucks misinterpret the meaning of Dr. King’s work in a tasteless Super Bowl ad that ignores the context of his speech. Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor Super Bowl Sunday is the biggest day of the year for advertisers. It seems like half the people who tune in to watch the game pay more attention during the breaks from the action than they do to the football itself. Businesses stake their reputations and future profits on the ads they unveil, shelling out five million dollars for a mere 30 second slot in between timeouts. Some of those brands — Tide, Doritos, Amazon — found great success and produced hilarious commercials that ended up going viral. Others...not so much. There was one misfire in particular worth discussing. Need a hint as to which one? It starts with “Ram” and rhymes with, “sweet Jesus, that could not have been more tone-deaf.”

“King was a contentious figure who knew that causing a ruckus was a necessity for instigating change... ” In case you didn’t watch the game or simply blocked all memory of it after the Patriots lost, the Ram Trucks ad featured an impassioned excerpt from a sermon given by Martin Luther King, Jr., 50 years ago to the day. In his evocative warble, Dr. King extols the virtuosity of service while music swells in the background and the screen is filled with dramatic shots of mostly white blue-collar workers and pickup trucks. The message is...that Ram exists to serve its customers? That they’re giving back to people who live their lives for others by

everyone in the market for a Ram truck fits that description, but there is an undeniable overlap, many of whom are being targeted by this ad. They are a group of aging Gen Xers wearing rose-tinted glasses and saying things like, “that Martin Luther King, he was one of the good ones.” This is not to say that the act of kneeling during the anthem is necessarily respectful, justified or even effective in combating bigotry. But regardless of my feelings or yours towards the pragmatism of this action, we have to recognize that it is being done largely in the tradition of the civil rights move-

this cognitive dissonance in their advertising. I have one final note on why this was such a horrible commercial, just in case you think I’m reading too much into the racial implications of this (I allow the possibility, as it is something I have accused others of doing in the past). The main subject matter of the quoted sermon is something known as the “drum major instinct,” which is defined as a primal human need to seek accomplishment, distinction and recognition. Dr. King maintains that Christ calls on us to use it, so long as it is harnessed towards true greatness; i.e. service to others. When left unchecked or in the hands of a less disciplined soul, this instinct generates greed and materialism. And you will never guess what King uses as an example of the drum major instinct working in all the wrong ways. That’s right, the commercial automobile industry! Really Ram, you could not have chosen a more ill-fitting soundbite. Next time, why not just show MLK in a white shirt and call it a Tide ad?

The Collegian: 8

Variety

12 February 2018

Tulsa Ballet puts on Broadway-themed performance

Full of tap dancing and a live orchestra, the performance appealed to larger audiences than your typical ballet show.

The ‘20s-themed show, “Strictly Gershwin,” made its way to North America after a wildly popular run in Europe. Lizzy Young Student Writer The dancers floating across the stage to the live orchestra music in Tulsa Ballet’s performance of “Strictly Gershwin” transported the audience back to the glitz and glamor of 1920s Hollywood. From the opening strains of music by the live orchestra on stage, led by a very entertaining conductor, to the final pose of the troupe of dancers, the performance is captivating. Making its North American debut, “Strictly Gershwin,” choreographed by Derek Deane and featuring the music of George and Ira Gershwin, is not just a classical ballet performance. This production incorporates elements of live orchestra, singing and tap dancing to create an entertaining, immersive experience about the golden age of Hollywood. This ballet does not feature a common storyline, but rather centers around the com-

mon theme of 1920s Hollywood showcasing a variety of numbers. This format makes it feel less like a classical ballet and more like an old Hollywood musical, which traditionally incorporated many different musical numbers but weaved them together to create a story. Act I of “Strictly Gershwin” opened with the live orchestra onstage playing an uplifting, jazzy tune which set the tone of the production for the audience. Gareth Valentine, the aforementioned conductor, directed the orchestra while enchanting the audience with delightfully humorous facial expressions, hinting at what was to come in the performance. The first troupe of dancers entered the stage. The ladies were wearing sparkly gold tutus, which immediately set the mood of the showiness of Hollywood spinning and jumping effortlessly across the stage setting the tone for the rest of the performance. After the opening ballet number, the production included everything from vocalists to tappers. Vocalists Teri Bibb, Christina Saffran, Scott Joiner and Terry Wazell lent their dynamic voices to this show. Interspersed through Act I, the vocalists sang

classic love songs while the male and female lead danced to the heartfelt lyrics. These numbers harkened back to some of the iconic couples of Hollywood. “Fascinatin’ Rhythm” was the first number to feature tappers. This high-energy song featured Kris Kerr and Bill Simpson joining the vocalists on-stage. The audience cheered in appreciation as they entered the scene. The number “‘S Wonderful” was devoted to the beloved pairing of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. For this number, the women wore glamorous sparkly-white dresses that twirled out gracefully when they spun. Act I ended on a high note with the number, “An American In Paris.” This performance was about a naive, young American in Paris who finds his true love but keeps being torn from her. This fun, musical piece included acrobats and a man on a bike, ending on a whimsical note. Act II opened with one of Gershwin’s most popular compositions, “Rhapsody in Blue,” which featured pianist Andrew Lahti and a large number of Tulsa Ballet dancers, who sailed across the stage in ice blue tutus and tuxedos.

courtesy Tulsa Ballet

A number exclusively for tap dancers, “Oh, Lady Be Good,” featured a group of guest tappers led by Maria Briggs, Kris Kerr and Bill Simpson. This fast-paced number left the audience in uproarious applause. The “Fascinatin’ Rhythm Finale” featured every element utilized during the performance, unifying the whole show on happy note. The audience gave a standing ovation. After seeing this production, I can see why it was so popular in Europe and why they wanted to bring it to the American stage. This ballet is always introducing new elements, making the audience wonder what is going to happen next. This ballet was unique, and the wonderful musical numbers made me want the experience to never end. Although February 9 through 11 was the only weekend for “Strictly Gershwin,” they have upcoming ballets that should not be missed. Tulsa Ballet will perform the classic tale of “Cinderella” on the weekend of March 16 through 18. In April, they offer their TBII: Emerging Choreographers Showcase. Tulsa Ballet ends their spring season with their Signature Series May 3 through 6.

Blue Apron costly, convenient, somewhat healthy

The meal kit subscription service simplifies cooking, but meal planning could easily replace it, for a better cost and more control. Michaela Flonard Managing Editor

Subscriptions are the rage these days. Everything, from theater-going to grocery shopping, can be done on a month-to-month or week-to-week basis. Blue Apron is a meal kit service that promises to simplify cooking at home. My delivery came on time; the friend who recommended the service, however, said theirs was often delivered late, and as they live off campus, they’ve dealt with theft. Blue Apron had refunded them the instance it occurred, but I’m not sure how often the business is willing to do that. Blue Apron offers six recipes for you to choose from each week, and theirs tend to be heavier options, with creamier sauces and a larger focus on rice and potatoes. The orange chicken proved a mess. The instructions, which came with the box but are also available online, were full of pictures, something important to me in a recipe. The printed copy allows for recreation of the dish for later. It had everything planned to a tee — cutting vegetables first, then cooking rice, then vegetables, then the chicken by itself, then combining the chicken and vegetables. When I cook, I am generally not that planned out and struggle to not jump ahead. The chicken took longer to cook than expected. While it was cooking, my roommate remarked she wasn’t too enthused by the smell, and I agreed. The recipe called for the chicken to be coated in cornstarch and cooked in sesame seed oil, and honestly, I didn’t feel that the coating added anything to the meal. Instead, the whole thing tasted strongly of ginger, a flavor that easily overwhelmed the others and is not a personal favorite. For this meal, bok choy and celery were the featured veggies, and seeing as they provided two baby bok choy for four servings, I felt like I wasn’t getting the proper serving of vegetables. For some though, I’m sure the provided amount is more than average.

The other meal was deviled salmon with potatoes and kale. The sides were nothing special, just roasted potatoes and kale, with some seasoning on it. That part was simple, though, I was pretty tempted to not put the kale in the foil and roast it, and instead make kale chips. Given those sides are standard fare, I didn’t expect anything new and didn’t get anything new. They provided two medium sized potatoes and one bunch of kale, which, like kale does, seemed to be a lot less after it was cooked. Again, I need more vegetables, but I may just have a problem. But the star of the dish: salmon. There were two large fillets of meat for four servings. The recipe called for the salmon to be coated in a butter/mustard/spice mixture, with a breadcrumbs and parmesan crusting. The mustard definitely overpowered the dish; it would’ve been fine with just the crust and spice. I could barely taste the spices involved. But salmon is salmon, so I was definitely happy. One of the biggest flaws about Blue Apron, however, is the waste. As someone who tries to bring her own bags to grocery stores, I felt guilty about making food from the service. Everything is individually packaged, from the small thing of cashews to the kale. These plastic baggies weren’t the proper type to be recycled on campus, and frankly, I wondered why the service couldn’t have put multiple ingredients in the same bag — I can tell the difference between bok choy and celery — or in paper. Plus, each shipment with meat comes with cold packs, which are reusable, but after a few boxes, I can’t imagine needing too many of them. Costwise, my plan was supposed to be $79.95 for two meals of four servings each, the family plan. If you factor in being able to buy large packs of ingredients that will serve you many occasions, such as for the rice, spices or other things, Blue Apron comes out costly. Sure, at under $10 a meal it’s cheaper than eating out, and probably healthier too. I went to Sprouts and Reasor’s, mostly just because I happened to be in both of those at different times; it was still cheaper than Blue Apron. The salmon, which was on sale that week for $9 per pound, was the most expensive purchase. The rice, cornstarch, sesame oil and soy sauce would be purchased in a larger amount, but all are readily

Pictured is the recipe for the deviled salmon, simple and somewhat unbalanced.

used in other dishes, and I didn’t feel like the corn starch was even necessary. But overall, I predicted the same meals would cost about $50 dollars if purchased at a store. With that estimate, Blue Apron expects me to pay $30 more just for convenience sake (a convenience slightly dampened by the long walk from ACAC to Norman with a large box). Even on other weeks, when the shipment would include steaks, or another meat more expensive than chicken, I doubt Blue Apron would be that comparable. That additional cost, then, is for the meal planning and time saved when shopping. For those without a way to get to the grocery store, it’s definitely something to consider. But as a college student with a car, I think I’d rather save that money and spend an hour of my time. Blue Apron forces you to have variety in your meals, providing vegetables and clear directions. In that aspect, it’s a cool service that college students might enjoy. But the

photo by Michaela Flonard

dishes tend to be a bit heavier and creamier, so shopping around to see which meal kit subscription service best suits your taste is probably a good investment of time. Personally, I wouldn’t use the service again; I didn’t think it was worth the cost and wasn’t too impressed by the meals I ended up with. Perhaps I’m just terrible at following directions or a control freak or hate very specific flavors. Honestly, I ended up skipping my first week, not seeing anything I liked, and other weeks in the future didn’t appeal to me either. Because there are so many services like Blue Apron now, you have options, if you’re interested in meals that are more paleo or vegan or literally any type of special diet. You trade total control of your mealtime for variety and convenience, though when motivated, meal planning is a total adult step.

12 February 2018

Variety

The Collegian: 9

Hookworms change pace on third record

“Microshift” marks a brief departure from Hookworms’s noise-based rock in favor of a more electronic style. Ethan Veenker Variety Editor

Every now and again, you come across an album for which you have absolutely no context, an album you can’t even remember finding. In any case, the album is right there, so you listen to it, and it turns out it’s a fucking great album, an album that’s been rather well-received in the little splash that its made, but an album that remains bathed in obscurity. Hookworms’s “Microshift” is one of those albums. The English five-piece released their third album February 2, and while it’s a record that will never make its way to the stage at the anyone can recognize as being an effort truly unto its own, an album made for the sake of the music and for nothing else. I’ve seen Hookworms best described as noise rock, though I’d stress a sprinkling of psychedelia in the description. Their previous records, the 2013 debut “Pearl Mystic” and 2014 sophomore “The Hum,” were grungy buildups of noise and angst, packed with layers upon layers of synth and guitar, taking the avid listener many repetitions to decode. Toned down but by no means turned off, “Microshift” takes their sound in a more electronic direction, featuring more distinct

vocals and slightly more radio-friendly singles. Still, I wouldn’t expect to hear them on any local radio waves. For any strungout guitar-based noise they’ve left behind, Hookworms has adapted a rawer, at times sparser composition, surrounding electronic beats. The album’s opener, and what an opener, “Negative Space” is a track built like a postrock song, a steady upward climb. With each minute, more features get slapped onto the track, until finally in the final minutes we have screaming synths backdropping the vocals. The first few seconds introduce a few electronic elements, a couple of odd noises played almost out of tempo with one another and looped, the basic skeletal structure of the piece.

skeletal features introduced in “Negative Space.” Structurally, the two songs are much the same, guitar-driven melodies floating on synthesized cords, backed entirely with a repeated and simple electronic beat. “Ullswater,” however, has a greater payoff in the form of a sort of instrumental breakdown, a brief “jam sesh,” if you will, that ends the track before slipping into “The Soft Season,” the appropriately-named and softest track on the record, featuring only vocals and synth melodies resembling church organs. The track perhaps most reminiscent of their previous works is “Boxing Day,” which carries itself along with chanting vocals like those of a cult gathering, a driving drum beat, and brief flashes of dissonant

“Hookworms has adapted a rawer, at times sparser composition...” “Static Resistance,” the album’s second track and second single alike, masquerades as the poppiest, most agreeable piece. Soaring vocals, indistinct guitar, a safe drum beat — all these elements form a powerful piece of what I’d describe as progressive pop. The song carries on powerfully until a sudden shift to a minute of noise, a droning note, a foreboding end to the piece that leads directly into “Ullswater,” a track sharing the

brass and synthesized noise that assault the ears, release, then assault again. The noiseheaviest track, it’s regrettably short and ends abruptly. What is perhaps most striking to me about the album is how it can sound so familiar and so new at the same time. The vocalist’s voice, unmistakably English and always soaring as high as the record’s mixing will allow it, hearkens back to ‘80s bands like

Tears for Fears, even when the compositional content couldn’t be more different. This effect is most prevalent on the record’s fifth track, “Opener,” but is an all-encompassing feature of the voice. Pair that with the gratuitous synth work, and you have an album like a noise-infused record plucked from the second British invasion. Concluding the album, and thus the review, it’s important to note it isn’t exactly a noise rock album. There are elements of the band’s harsh past that flare up in certain moments, very lucid and passionate moments, but Hookworms seems to have mostly kept a muzzle on. Perhaps that’s the wrong metaphor. This doesn’t feel like a studioconstrained attempt at making a more radiofriendly record, but rather like a band shedding its past sound, like a band moving on while simultaneously not forgetting what it once was. “Microshift” is easy to listen to compared to Hookworms’s past material. I personally prefer their older records, but even so, I find “Microshift” may not be for everyone. It’s a solid record through-and-through, but it doesn’t exactly feel like a zenith for Hookworms. It feels like an experiment, a brief pit stop, an album recorded with the live stage and all its promised improvisation in mind. “Microshift” is a low-key triumph, an album that doesn’t immediately grab you but one in which you can melt away. What’s important is that it exists and is waiting for a listen. Springboard yourself, dive into the world of noise, dive into Hookworms.

New “Cloverfield” Echo Dot no longer a novelty, but has its flaws film a mixed bag Sponsored content: The Amazon Echo Dot has many useful features for a college student. Adam Lux Satire Editor

courtesy Netflix

Early on the film reveals that it’s plot will be a blunder of pointless exposition and general boredom.

A surprise release, “The Cloverfield Paradox” is visually stunning but a letdown of a story. Emma Palmer Student Writer Following the footsteps of its predecessors “Cloverfield” and “10 Cloverfield Lane,” the arrival of “The Cloverfield Paradox” took the world by surprise. Netflix debuted the film’s first trailer during the Super Bowl mere hours before releasing it directly to stream. Unfortunately, this release strategy is the only thing surprising about it. Each film in the “Cloverfield” franchise follows a different genre: the original “Cloverfield” was a monster movie (and the only film since “The Blair Witch Project” to utilize found-footage well), while “10 Cloverfield Lane” was an unexpected delight of a locked-room thriller. “The Cloverfield Paradox” continues this trend, but rather than aiming for one genre, it becomes a combination of a slasher film mixed with classic brainy sci-fi and just a few too many homages to the “Alien” films. The world of “The Cloverfield Paradox” is a grim one, set in a vague future, where political tensions are high and the world is facing a serious energy crisis. International crises have brought nations to the brink of war. In a desperate attempt to solve the Earth’s impending doom, a team of scientists orbiting Earth experiment with a particle accelerator in the Cloverfield space station, but when they turn it on, strange things begin happening. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, “The Cloverfield Paradox” works. The direction, acting, score and cinematography are all top-notch. However, all these elements crumble like a piece of gluten-free bread, because while “The Cloverfield Paradox” has all these ingredients, it lacks the backbone of a movie: a solid script. Or even just a coherent one. “The Cloverfield Paradox” feels like the type of thing you would get if you fed a machine-learning program all the sci-fi movies from the past 40 years and then had it write a screenplay based on what it had learned.

The film spits out tropes that have no relevance to the plot for seemingly no reason. Things loosely tie together at the end, but the exposition is so shoddy that any attempts at redemption or despair feel unearned. The problems with “The Cloverfield Paradox” likely stem from its identity crisis. The original screenplay came from a different film entitled “The God Particle,” the rights for which were then purchased by Bad Robot Productions with the intent to tie it into the larger “Cloverfield” franchise. Because of this, the screenplay underwent a series of revisions that led to this frankensteinian film. “Paradox” suffers as a result. It quickly becomes apparent that the film went through several rewrites, scenes don’t fit together and the narrative moves disjointedly. The film doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be or say. It leaves no lasting impact. So many elements feel disjointed and out of place, questions demand answers that are never given. An entire subplot devoted to life back on Earth is completely irrelevant and serves only very mechanical plot purposes to tie in with the larger “Cloverfield” franchise. There are space worms and lost arms and other oddities so absurd it leaves the viewer wondering if the whole thing is supposed to be a comedy. I really did want to love “The Cloverfield Paradox,” and there are some parts that I enjoyed, shining through like cracks of light in a dark room. The cast does its best with what little the script gives them. In particular, lead actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s monologue towards the end sells her grief in a tangible way, while a single shot of ship captain Daniel Oyelowo quietly crying speaks more words than pages of dialogue. Sci-fi films of late have spent too much time paying homages to classic films such as “Alien” rather than investing time developing their own story. If I wanted to watch “Alien,” I would watch “Alien.” There is very little to be found in rehashing tropes that have been around for ages, other than a sense of nostalgia. The real paradox to be found in “The Cloverfield Paradox” is far less interesting than its original premise. For a film set in the future, it spends far too much of its runtime time living in the past.

I’ve been using a new piece of tech. For the past couple of weeks, an Amazon Echo Dot, provided for review by U.S. Cellular, occupied my bedside table. One of the most apparent and exciting aspects of the Echo Dot is how well it mimics a natural human voice and how quickly it responds. While it still has those telltale inflection hiccups inherent in all automated voices, I noticed them much less, especially when sticking to the more common day-today functions of the Dot. The Dot’s response time for most queries is surprisingly fast, usually faster than Googling your question, something that for a long time couldn’t be said for most virtual assistants (I’m looking at you, Siri on my old iPhone 4S). The speaker is about as good as one could expect for a device of the Dot’s size. It is a downward-firing speaker, which means the sound is going to change slightly depending on the surface you set the device on. I ended up flipping it upside down when I was listening to music, which is kinda ridiculous, but it sounded better. If you’re primarily interested in the Echo Dot to play music, I’d highly suggest connecting it to a better speaker. Luckily, it can connect to any Bluetooth speaker and even has a 3.5mm output jack. Wow, how courageous! The majority of my interactions with the Echo Dot were using it as an organizational tool. It can do all the basic function one would expect a smart home device to do: set alarms, reminders and timers. It can tell you the weather, update you on the news and answer general questions. I can see the Dot being super useful for students who love to cook. Being able to look up a recipe, an ingredient or some dumb imperial unit conversion. Overall, I was surprised how much I used the Echo Dot as a personal assistant. It doesn’t necessarily have any functionality that’s fundamentally different than my phone, but for some reason being able to just ask for something to be added to my calendar makes me more likely to do it.

Despite its many strengths, the Echo Dot has a couple glaring weaknesses. For example, it cannot perform a Google search. Honestly, I was more surprised than upset when I found this out. It seems like one of the simplest and most fundamental functions of a smart device, so it’s an odd thing to be missing. This isn’t as big of a problem as it might seem on the surface though. Through a combination of what seems to be Amazon’s own database and access to Wikipedia, most inquiries will get a response. However, when you do stump it, the Dot will simply apologize and say it doesn’t know, or occasionally it will just not respond at all. I had a few other smaller gripes. It can’t directly connect to calendars on Samsung phones; you have to go through Google Calendar instead. I use Google Calendar anyway, so this isn’t a huge deal. The Echo Dot also has a lot of trouble in noisy rooms, like “The Collegian” office on a Sunday, though that’s understandable. It can play music through Spotify, Pandora or Amazon Music, but it can’t add a song to a queue, which is a real bummer. Also, it doesn’t quite look as elegant as the Google Home Mini, in my personal opinion. All things considered, I think the Amazon Echo Dot is a good tool for a college student. At $49.99 MSRP, it’s competitive with the Google Home Mini. At the time of this writing, both are currently on sale for $39.99. The Echo Dot really added a lot of organization and time management to my life. It certainly has its faults, but hopefully many of these can be addressed through over-the-air updates. During my review time, the Echo Dot received an update which lets users with Android phones send texts through the Dot. I would be interested in seeing how the Google Home Mini stacks up to its Amazon counterpart. I think the virtual assistant class of products as a whole has really matured over the last few years and grown from being more of a novelty to an actually useful technology. “The Collegian” received the Amazon Echo Dot by U.S. Cellular in exchange for an honest review. This has in no way influenced the author’s opinion on the product or its company. The views expressed do not represent the opinions of “The Collegian” or its staff.

The Echo Dot, convenient but not overwhelmingly helpful, is a well-priced tool.

photo by Adam Lux

The Collegian: 10

Variety

12 February 2018

“Aria Rising” a thought-provoking installation Put up in ACAC last week, “Aria Rising” is dedicated to victims of sexual assault. Naomi Dunn Student Writer Last Monday, an interactive art exhibit titled “Aria Rising” was installed in the center of the Allen Chapman Student Union. The sculpture captures viewers at first glance through its large stature and striking visuals. It stands on a platform with information on posters about its creation and intent on both sides. “Aria Rising” aims to use interactive art to raise awareness and bolster support for survivors of sexual assault within the TU community. Standing tall on a platform in the middle of the student union, “Aria” is a humansized sculpture decked in a floor-length dress and flanked on both sides with prickly wings made of steel blinds. Aria’s white dress, constructed intricately with delicate details on the bodice, matched her sweeping wings to make her feel almost like a guardian angel. The materials that compose Aria add to her meaning. Aria began as a broken mannequin but was repurposed into an art exhibit made entirely of recycled materials. The history behind the Aria’s origin is representative of how survivors of sexual as-

sault often feel broken by their attackers. By reusing materials that others discarded and repurposing them into a constructive work of art, “Aria Rising” stands as a symbol of strength and perseverance after trauma. Furthermore, the imagery of Aria as an angel shows the power of raising awareness about sexual violence. Aria herself becomes a guardian angel to others by becoming a voice and resource for them. But “Aria Rising” does not only include Aria herself. In fact, much of her meaning and success is dependent on community interaction. Multicolored paper is available to the right of the sculpture for students to write messages of hope and support to survivors, as the informational poster explains. The notes are then rolled up and placed in-

in at least some small part. “ The message is clear: community support is a pivotal step in the healing process. The installation of “Aria Rising” was co-sponsored by TU’s Student Alliance for Violence Education (SAVE) and Lambda Chi Alpha. It was originally created by Divinemoira Studio in collaboration with The Angel Band Project. Divinemoira Studio is an organization that intends to use the arts to inspire and incite hope in others, as well as to improve the communities around them. The Angel Band Project is a non-profit organization that most notably uses music as therapy for survivors of sexual assault, and raises public awareness of sexual violence through public music events, speaking events and collaborative works with other

“...[M]uch of her meaning and success is dependent on community interaction.” side Aria’s dress, which is constructed almost entirely out of pill bottles, cups and other containers. Through viewer interaction, Aria’s splendor grows as pops of color and emotional support are integrated into the decorations of the dress. Lamda Chi Alpha member Mark Rieke clarified the message: “After installations, the notes are collected and used to help survivors gain hope

organizations, such as their collaboration with Divinemoira Studio for “Aria Rising.” “Aria Rising” displays the shared beliefs of both Divinemoira Studio and the Angel Band Project. It uses a creative medium to engage the audience with the sobering topic of sexual violence and recovery. Through its interactive elements, it pulls forth a sense of connection and compassion.

The art installation is heavily dependent on audience participation, with spots for viewers to place letters and a snap code with which to share it.

“Aria Rising” strengthens our community by addressing sexual assault, providing resources for survivors, increasing our awareness of and bolstering our support for one another. But it reaches even farther than that. Concluding his statement on the piece, Rieke said, “Specifically to TU, I think we’re at a really interesting time as a community where the conversation about sexual assault has really opened up. Clancy has been doing a great job in making TU a place where survivors feel they can speak up. Hosting ‘Aria Rising’ in ACAC is a stark visual reminder to students that the conversation is still going on.” One of the most powerful aspects of “Aria Rising” is that it is a traveling exhibit. Not only will it be displayed in the student union and engage our students, but it has done the same in other universities, high schools, theatres and more. Aria strengthens our community locally, as well as connecting us to other communities outside TU. Just as “Aria Rising” can cause us to feel linked to each other through our shared compassion and support for survivors of sexual assault on our campus, the piece allows us to feel connected to other communities and survivors across the United States in the same way. “Aria Rising” is an exhibit free and open to students from now until April 13.

photos by Naomi Dunn

12 February 2018

Variety

The Collegian: 11

BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • HARDESTY HALL • JOHN MABEE HALL • LOTTIE JANE MABEE HALL • WEST SUITES • BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • HARDESTY HALL • JOHNCONNECTION MABEE HALL •COMFORT LOTTIE JANECONVENIENCE MABEE HALL • WEST SUITES • BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • HARDESTY HALL • JOHN MABEE HALL • LOTTIE JANE MABEE HALL • WEST SUITES • BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • HARDESTY HALL • JOHN MABEE HALL • LOTTIE JANE MABEE HALL • WEST SUITES • BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • HARDESTY HALL • JOHN MABEE HALL • LOTTIE JANE MABEE HALL • WEST SUITES • BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • HARDESTY HALL • JOHN MABEE HALL • LOTTIE JANE MABEE HALL • WEST SUITES • BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • Check UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • out canelink.utulsa.edu HARDESTYforHALL • JOHN HALL • LOTTIE information and MABEE helpful videos. JANE MABEE HALL • WEST SUITES • BROWN VILLAGE • LORTON VILLAGE • MAYO VILLAGE • NORMAN VILLAGE • UNIVERSITY SQUARE VILLAGE • HARDESTY HALL • JOHN MABEE HALL

Housing selection starts Wednesday, th Feb. 14

Connect with Housing

There will be information booths in Pat Case Dining Center, February 14-15 from 12 p.m.-1 p.m. and the Student Union, February 21-22 from 12 p.m.-1 p.m.

Live Chat Available on Canelink

Sunday through Thursday, February 14-28. Chat live with a housing professional from 5 p.m.-10 p.m. To start a live chat, click on the “Apply for Housing,” link within Canelink and look for the tab at the bottom.

Housing Office: 918-631-2516

canelink.utulsa.edu

The State-Run Media

12 February 2018

the

State-Run media Wants “The Onion” to be our Valentine.

Lady Doritos: a victory for feminism

In response to Frito-Lay’s breakthrough new product line, other big companies are announcing lady-specific products. Sara Serrano Has two X chromosomes

Ruffles new “Lady Ruffles” product promises to please.

graphic by Madeline Woods

According to my star chart, we’re supposed to fuck

Now I took the liberty of inputting your I always thought that when we met, birth date and birth location into a star chart, the stars aligned. As it turns out, so which is less creepy than it sounds, as it did the planets.

Conner Maggio Leading expert in... stars? Now, I know we have had our ups and downs, and I know that with Valentine’s Day around the corner, you probably do not want to hear from me, but please hear me out. My horoscope told me that I “should beg for forgiveness immediately,” and my fortune cookie had the Chinese word for love on it, and then the fortune said, “You must avoid making an idiot of yourself.” Meaning that I should, of course, beg for your forgiveness. There is no excuse for what I have done, but to be fair I had no idea your entire family was allergic to oregano. Like, you told me, like, once, but c’mon, dude. My lasagna is awesome, absolutely amazing, and they all said so before being taken to the hospital. If making great pasta-based dishes is a crime, then I am guilty. And if poisoning an entire family is a crime, then I guess that I am guilty of that as well. And if loving you is a crime, then I must have committed several felonies. Wait, where are you going? Come back!

turns out we are perfectly compatible. According to the star chart, I am destined to find someone who is “a little mad” at me, and you are destined to be with “someone who is way more stupid than you are.” See? We are perfect. Because both of us have our Saturns in Aquarius, we are supposed to fuck. I did not make that up. It is on the website I was using. Which is worse, having sex with me, or making the entire universe mad at us for not having sex? The answer is clear. February 14 marks the day when both of us are supposed to have a special encounter, according to a Russian horoscope website that is made by my distant cousin I met on ancestry.com last month. Our chakras are so in sync, our auras are the same exact color and our cats don’t fight when they see each other. Sure, we only dated for two months, but that is just how romance is. I think that we have something special — some people may call it destiny, and I am some people. So please give that restraining order a second thought. We totally have a future together, so long as your family stays away from my oregano farm.

“Our chakras are so in sync, our auras are the same exact color and our cats don’t fight...”

As a woman, I often find it difficult to enjoy my favorite snack foods when I’m out on the town. Chips, in particular, are often a strain on my delicate sensibilities. They are simply too loud and messy to be proper for public consumption. And only God knows how I’m supposed to fit them in my handbag! That is why I was delighted to hear that Frito-Lay with soon be coming out with Doritos specifically made for women! The chips are designed to be less crunchy, because women are known to hate crumbs (why else do you think we spend all of our time vacuuming?), coated with less flavor dust (we must save sucking our fingers for special occasions), and will come packaged in a new, more compact and feminine bag! And all only for $10.99! “We are very excited to be bringing the public this new product.” said Indra Nooyi, the CEO of Frito-Lay’s parent company PepsiCo. “2018 had already been such an empowering time for women, so we felt that this was the perfect salute to the movement.” Frito-Lay has plans to bring out more women-geared chips and snacks in the near future. One such idea in development is “Ladies’ Ruffles,” which promise to be “ridged for her pleasure.” Women everywhere are rejoicing at the news. “This is honestly just what we needed right now.” said local women’s rights activist Tanya Jones. “Today’s women, and our mothers and grandmothers before us, have

Conner Maggio showing off his star chart.

fought long and hard for gender equality, but I really think that this marks the beginning of our victory. For us to now have our very own chips is something special indeed.” “So many companies just say that they support feminism, but do they ever put any tangible effort into supporting the cause? No, they don’t,” said student Patricia Diaz, a women’s and gender studies major. “FritoLay, thank you for being the first to come out in support of women, not just with your words, but with your actions.” Frito-Lay may have been the first, but they certainly won’t be the last. Other companies have taken notice of the immensely positive response to these chips and are starting to see the light, coming out with their own lady-specific products. “We want the world to know that we too are on the side of women and are now committed to including them in the future of our products.” said Gregory F. Rayburn, the CEO of Hostess. “Our snack engineers will soon begin work on Pinkies, which are Twinkies with less cream filling to limit their mess. I mean, women are good at getting out stains, but we want to help in any way that we can.” “Pizza Hut regrets not always being there for women, but we promise that that is going to change,” said Pizza Hut CEO David Gibbs. “We have been conducting research on female behavior, carrying out interviews and holding focus groups all to get to the bottom of what women want. I am proud to announce a new restaurant: Pizza Hut Femme. No grease, no cheese, no gluten and sauce that stays firmly in place.” All of this is wonderful, but nothing beats the original. So take my advice. This Valentine’s Day, don’t buy the special lady in your life jewelry or lingerie. Give her a gift that will show her that you truly care about her and support her struggle. Give the gift of Lady Doritos.

graphic by Madeline Woods

Eye contact deemed micro-cheating in new study A group of infidelity experts published research on the hazards that eye contact with a platonic friend can have on a relationship. Thomas von Borstel Walks around with a blindfold A recent study in “The Journal of Relational and Sexual Dysfunction” informed readers of the newest travesty in the world of infidelity: eye-contact. The three experts, Dr. Ho of the University of Djibouti, Dr. Cox of Colon College and Dr. Hung of Brigham Young, stated in the paper, “Eye contact is the primary instigator of microcheating. Relations of adulterous nature always begin with a mutual moment of sexual tension briefly captured in a glance. This natural consent of sexual intentions lies at the neurological level.” Hung said he has “studied the systematic process of the lobular hemotension found firing in a state of adultery. Infidelity can be immediately detected by this correlation with the celibate temporal somosphere.“In any instance of eye contact with any sex, the

vehicular tendinitis reacts via carbon quadridate and the ‘purple matter’ of the aura borealis with the magmus tyrannosaurus: a marked indication of infidelity,” Hung carefully explained. “Specifically, in this instance, this is micro-cheating.” In addition to this revealing study, the same group of highly regarded scientists recently correlated caffeine use to the use of methamphetamines. They advise to steer children aware from

believe is the optimum age for the beginning of their anti-cheating education. “Boys and girls can’t be friends,” says the president of C.O.C.K., Richard Tuggle. “If we start with the children, we can nip any contact between sexes in the bud. We believe that miscellaneous gestures, while appearing innocent, are severe cases of adultery that if not nipped in the early stages of development will blossom into horrific instances of eye contact, intersex friendliness

“Are there any instances where you find your partner using a cellular device...” caffeine usage because it has been discovered that 100 percent of meth users are also caffeine users. The experts are not the only ones with a say in this matter. A local activist group, “Community Opposing Cheating Kids,” also known by the acronym C.O.C.K., hopes to deal with micro-cheating at its source: the youths. The group goes into schools to instruct children starting in kindergarten, which they

or, in dire cases, friendship.” With the latest knowledge in the scientific world and Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it is imperative that readers understands how to evaluate whether their partner is microcheating. The most obvious example is eye-contact, but there are even more subtle hints to hightension relationship dysfunction.

Assess these few circumstances:

-Does your partner go out in public wearing fashionable or stylish clothes that fit well or make them feel attractive and confident? -Are there any instances where you find your partner using a cellular device or computer? -Have you had a conversation with your partner in which another person other than yourself has come up in conversation? -Does your partner shave their armpits? Their legs? Their nether regions? -Has your partner eaten today? -Was your partner born from a womb? Unfortunately, if you said yes to any of these questions, you may need to reassess your relationship. Your partner most likely is a nefarious micro-cheater and possibly is engaged with heinous sexual acts involving weird fetishes. Ho warns suspicious partners everywhere, “Be aware that if your significant other is initiating eye contact, they are, in most cases, engaged in egregious sexual and emotional acts with another partner, and it is highly advised that you end all contact with them. Do not try to mend or communicate about your relationship with them.”