4 September 2018

The Collegian: 2

McKinley Whitfield celebrates in the endzone.

Sports

4 September 2018

photo by Dalton Stewart

4 September 2018

Sports

The Collegian: 3

Hurricane blows Bears back to Arkansas

The TU Golden Hurricane took on the University of Central Arkansas last Saturday and came away with a 38-27 win.

Tristan Peterson Student Writer On Saturday, Tulsa headed into their 119th season to play their 505th home game since the opening of Skelly Field on October 4, 1930. Storming onto the field, Tulsa opened the season with a win against the University of Central Arkansas (UCA) 3827.

Though there were many flaws during the game, Tulsa pulled together, slipping past the claws of UCA’s defense.

Tulsa had two true freshmen on the field: defensive tackle Jaxon Player and linebacker Grant Sawyer.

For the third time in the last 11 games, Tulsa had two 100-yard rushers. Sophomore running back Corey Taylor II finished with 110 yards on 20 attempts for his second career 100-yard rushing game. Shamari Brooks finished with 129 yards and two touchdowns for his fifth career 100-yard rushing game and fifth career multi-touchdown game.

Tiller Bucktrot, Chris Ivy Jr., Robert Revels III and Cole Neph all made their first career starts. Neph had a key role in a touchdown in the fourth quarter, not to mention his 40 yards on four receptions. When asked about the play in the fourth, Cole Neph answered simply, “It’s a play we have been working on all week. We saw what we wanted from the defense. There are some moving parts to it. It was open in the corner, and Luke [Skipper] saw the same thing I did. It came together for us, and it was a touchdown.”

Coach Montgomery says that “Cole is going to be a great addition to what we’re

Luke Skipper dives into the endzone.

doing. He brings a lot of diversity,” adding that Neph “obviously had a couple of good catches tonight.”

The first touchdown of the season was a 49-yard touchdown pass from Luke Skipper (fourth career TD) to senior receiver Justin Hobbs (10th career TD). On Tulsa’s opening scoring play, Nate Walker converted on his first career PAT attempt. Then junior linebacker Diamon Cannon recorded Tulsa’s first sack of the season for a 12-yard loss.

It was also Cannon’s first career sack. Receiver Jarion Anderson recorded his first career reception for a five-yard gain. Skipper later scored Tulsa’s first rushing touchdown of the season (his fifth career rushing TD) on a one-yard play.

In the second quarter, senior tight end Cole Neph recorded his first career reception for a one-yard gain. Sophomore running back Shamari Brooks scored his first touchdown of the season (11th career rushing TD) on a one-yard play.

Moving into the third quarter, Myles Mouton recorded his first career forced fumble, and Robert Revels III recorded his first career fumble recovery on a touchdownsaving play at the goal line. Nate Walker connected on his first career field goal later in the quarter from 40 yards.

The fourth quarter was full of firsts.

Brooks recorded his first career reception on a four-yard play that resulted in a first-down conversion on third down. Cole Neph caught his first career touchdown on a 14-yard pass from Skipper. Redshirt freshman safety Bryson Powers (in his first career game action) picked up his first career fumble recovery on a fumbled kickoff return attempt. Pushing TU to the win, Brooks scored his second touchdown of the game (12th career TD) on a two-yard play.

As Coach Montgomery put it, “That’s a big win for us. Some guys need to be able to celebrate, and we know how to celebrate.

So we had a good time down there. Guys are excited, and they should be excited. We need to enjoy this win tonight, be smart about what we do, and get back to work come tomorrow.”

photo by Dalton Stewart

Luke Skipper attempts a pass.

photo by Dalton Stewart

College football playoff predictions

Student writer Andrew Noland gives a comprehensive look into this year’s playoffs.

Another season, another flawed method of picking our college football champion.

Rather than delve into a rant on that (give me a couple of weeks), I’ll instead devote these lines to picking the top four teams that will contend for the championship in the same manner as the almighty College Football Playoff Committee: arbitrarily and with intense bias.

1. Alabama: You’re probably thinking, “Wow, Andrew, what a surprise. You picked the team that’s been in the playoff every season since its inception.” What can I say? Nick Saban is an evil mastermind, capable of reloading his defense to be even more resolute than the last season. With a relatively weak strength of schedule in the legendarily brutal SEC, Alabama’s only real opponents will probably only be Georgia in the SEC Championship game, the perennially wacky Iron Bowl, and their own indecision over their quarterback position. Do you take the dual-threat but inconsistent Jalen Hurts, or the calm, national championship winning but inexperienced Tua Tagovailoa? If they finish with only one loss, regardless of the outcome of the SEC Championship game, this one is a no-brainer.

2. Clemson: Yeah, yeah, I can already hear the sardonic clapping. Although Clemson crushes the weakest of the Power Five conference each season, Clemson chose to bolster their pedigree by facing two SEC teams in South Carolina and Texas A&M, removing the strength of schedule argument. With the most ferocious defensive front in the country led by defensive end Clelin Ferrell, Clemson’s only real threats to entering the postseason undefeated might be Florida State in Tallahassee and their own quarterback controversy. Bold prediction time:

Trevor Lawrence will overtake Kelly Bryant’s position and earn himself an invitation to a certain prestigious December ceremony in New York City.

3. Penn State: The “just out” team that should have been in the playoff two seasons ago, James Franklin’s team will channel a hunger that will take them all the way to the end. In a truly cannibalistic Big Ten East, with four teams in Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State and the Nittany Lions all in the top 15 of the preseason AP poll, Heisman contending quarterback Trace McSorley will drag his team into the Big Ten Championship to face Wisconsin. Penn State will likely emerge from the fray with at least one loss, if not two, but, knowing that the Playoff Committee has a special place in their hearts for the “Good Ol’ Boys” in the Rust Belt, Penn State will find themselves playing Clemson in Miami.

4. Oklahoma: The truth is that the PAC-12 always betrays itself as overrated by Week 5 of the season, and with the other three conferences already taken by my other choices, that only leaves the Big 12’s recurrent powerhouse from Norman. Perhaps only second to the ACC in weakness this season, the Sooners have a frankly easy Big 12 to contend against, and Lincoln Riley will likely throw his offensive machinations behind running back Rodney Anderson. Even with a hypothetical loss to Power Five conference opponent UCLA, the Sooners might finish the season lifting the conference title, but even a one-loss Big 12 champion needs to fear the committee’s tendency to favor a one-loss SEC or Big Ten East team.

Honorable Mentions: Georgia, Notre Dame, Ohio State, Auburn.

Justin Hobbs records a difficult catch.

photo by Dalton Stewart

Scoring Summary (Final) 2018 Golden Hurricane Football Central Arkansas vs Tulsa (Sep 01, 2018 at Tulsa, Okla.)

Central Arkansas (0-1) vs. Tulsa (1-0) Date: Sep 01, 2018 • Site: Tulsa, Okla. • Stadium: H.A. Chapman Stadium Attendance: 18356 Score by Quarters Central Arkansas Tulsa Qtr Time 1st

2nd 3rd 4th

12:49 10:43 06:23 03:54 14:57 05:10 05:52 01:25 11:08 08:11 07:36

Scoring Play

1

13 7

2

0 14

3

7 3

4

7 14

Total

27 38

TLS - HOBBS, Justin 49 yd pass from SKIPPER, Luke (WALKER, Nate kick), 8-75 2:11 UCA - Cummins, Matt 19 yd field goal, 7-27 1:58 UCA - Cummins, Matt 40 yd field goal, 6-28 2:12 UCA - Crossley, Kierre 1 yd run (Cummins, Matt kick), 4-54 1:15 TLS - SKIPPER, Luke 1 yd run (WALKER, Nate kick), 14-65 3:57 TLS - BROOKS, Shamari 1 yd run (WALKER, Nate kick), 9-57 2:27 UCA - Smith, Breylin 2 yd run (Cummins, Matt kick), 14-75 6:33 TLS - WALKER, Nate 40 yd field goal, 9-58 3:54 UCA - Morris, Justin 0 yd fumble recovery (Cummins, Matt kick) TLS - NEPH, Cole 14 yd pass from SKIPPER, Luke (WALKER, Nate kick), 7-75 3:03 TLS - BROOKS, Shamari 1 yd run (WALKER, Nate kick), 2-7 0:29

V-H

0-7 3-7 6-7 13 - 7 13 - 14 13 - 21 20 - 21 20 - 24 27 - 24 27 - 31 27 - 38

Kickoff time: 6:05 pm • End of Game: 9:19 pm • Total elapsed time: 3:14 Officials: Referee: Bob Johnson; Umpire: Josh Larson; Linesman: Curt Wilson; Line judge: Charles Twiddy; Back judge: Brandon Bullock; Field judge: Joel Moenkhoff; Side judge: Greg Mota; Center judge: Carl Vaccaro; Temperature: 91 • Wind: SE @ 13 • Weather: partly cloudy courtesy Tristan Peterson

Sports

The Collegian: 4

4 September 2018

London’s calling for Sarri-Ball

Only one star in City of Lights

Student writer Chris Lierly discusses Chelsea, Coach Sarri and their relationship to the Premier League.

Student writer Andrew Noland predicts how star Mbappe will bring about the end of the Neymar era in Paris.

The Summer of 2018 gave us a litany of captivating story lines before, during and after the World Cup. The Sarri-Chelsea saga, however, begins during the 2017-18 Premier League season. Chelsea manager Antonio Conte had a strenuous relationship with the club’s owner, Roman Abramovich, ever since he arrived in London in 2016.

Conte’s winning of the Premier League in the 2015-16 campaign and the Football Association Cup the next year proved that the man could win, but success wouldn’t save Conte’s job. His volatile personality created an unpredictable atmosphere at the club.

Pair that with a style of play that basically used five defenders and it wasn’t hard for Abramovich to let the Italian manager go.

Chelsea officially parted ways with Conte on July 13, 2018, but when the headline

quickly integrate his system in London with a mix of players new to the system and those already accustomed to it. However, with the quality of players that Chelsea has, Sarri will likely find an inventive way to bring what has been dubbed “Sarri-Ball” to England.

Chelsea’s summer was an eventful one, manager change aside, that involved a major buy, a major sell and two Blues becoming World Cup champions. As we saw, Joringho followed his manager Maurizio Sarri to Stamford Bridge shortly after the manager’s move was announced. The big loss for Chelsea and Abramovich, however, was the selling of Belgian goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois to Spanish giants Real Madrid. In the same summer that they reinforced their midfield, Chelsea was also forced to look at buying

“Chelsea looks dangerous, and the more they get set into the system, the scarier they’ll look.” broke, it was one of the least surprising stories imaginable. The public knew that Conte was on the way out for some time, and surprisingly, just about everyone knew who would be replacing him. On the day after Conte’s sacking, Chelsea supporters got the name they had been waiting months to hear: Maurizio Sarri.

Sarri was leaving Napoli, the football club of Naples, Italy, where he was born. He won Serie A (Italy’s top tier Soccer League) Manager of the Year award in 2017 after bringing Napoli within four points of powerhouse, and near perennial title winner, Juventus. It was announced shortly after his departure that former Bayern Munich and Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti would fill the same role at Napoli after Sarri’s departure.

Sarri managed Napoli since 2015 and promised to bring the same pass-heavy style that he used in the Italian Serie A to the Premier League. He also brought Napoli midfielder Jorginho with him and attempted to buy more of his former players before Napoli shut the other transfers down.

Those transfers would’ve helped Sarri more

a younger keeper to replace Courtois. With Joringho now in the mid, he will play alongside one of the world’s best:N’golo Kante.

Kante and striker Olivier Giroud both return to the new Sarri led Chelsea after winning the World Cup with France’s national team.

This rearrangement of the squad, along with the form that the French players and superstar Eden Hazard had in the World Cup, promises to make Chelsea’s season a successful one. Sarri’s unique system, which remains defensive while moving the ball around to create opportunities, will take some time to get used to for both the fans and players. From the first couple of games, though, Chelsea looks dangerous, and the more they get set into the system, the scarier they’ll look. With the new life Sarri’s given the squad, Chelsea has a chance to challenge both Man City and Liverpool as contenders for a Premier League that could establish Sarri as a world-class manager and his system as a staple of European football.

A dark cloud looms over Parc des Princes. On the pitch, nothing could be simpler: Mbappe and Neymar are dominating in tandem as they lead the Parisians in their quest to defend their Ligue 1 title. Underneath the surface, however, UEFA is concluding their investigation into Paris San Germain’s finances and the ownership might be confronted with a paradox of monumental proportions: which of the superstars to kick to the curb and which to make the standardbearer for Paris’ aspirations for the next decade.

How PSG got here is no secret. The bewildering transfer of Neymar from Barcelona to Paris proved a seismic event in the summer of 2017, totaling a record U.S. $263 million for the Brazilian icon. While fans around the world scratched their heads at the two-time La Liga and the 2014-2015 Champions League winner’s move to an internationally unsuccessful club, critics recognized the Brazilian scramble to escape the long shadow of Lionel Messi. In Neymar’s imagination, Paris would become the epicenter of a soccer revolution that would transform the soccer world from its decade-long see-saw between Ronaldo and Messi into a triumvirate. In addition, Kylian Mbappe, the French wunderkind from Monaco, was loaned to PSG for $180 million with a buyout in the next year. While this news would have ordinarily raised eyebrows, it was relegated as a sidebar to PSG’s remarkable capture of Neymar.

But Barcelona immediately drew everyone’s attention to the staggering numbers PSG faced financially, and UEFA (surprisingly) pounced. Overshadowing the 20172018 season was UEFA’s investigation into PSG’s losses, including a raiding of the owner of PSG’s French mansion. Even though Neymar displayed his technical mastery, Mbappe demonstrated his wondrous raw talent, and Cavani followed with his clean finishing, PSG, while naturally unstoppable in domestic play, still folded before superior talent in Real Madrid in the Champions League. The months of rumors of chaos in the locker room finally detonated with the fan-favorite striker, Cavani, at odds with Neymar and his legendary ego.

While PSG sleep walked through Ligue 1, the nineteen-year-old Mbappe kept his head

down and quietly honed his skills. With the UEFA investigation still lingering in their minds, the PSG management felt that nothing could be done about the issue: Neymar, the globally marketable icon, would remain while they sold the still relatively unknown Mbappe. However, the World Cup drastically altered that calculation. While the Frenchman confounded the world with his unmatched ability and earned himself the title of Best Young Player at the tournament, his club teammate, playing for the Brazilian favorites, flopped his way into the quarterfinal before being stomped by Belgium.

Neymar could only watch from home, surrounded by sharp criticism, mockery and disappointment from fans, as the youngster lifted the World Cup with France and earned the admiration of millions around the world.

This fall shows no signs of ending Mbappe’s rise to glory. He has burst back into France a hero from his spectacular World Cup performance and, despite his humility, his four goals and two assists in only three games back in Ligue 1 indicate he is poised to be Paris’s new superstar, not his left-wing teammate. The hard truth for Neymar is that, once again, he finds himself outshined in another city, this time by a national hero seven years his younger.

If UEFA decides to punish PSG by forcing them to sell one of the players that led to their financial losses, PSG have an easy choice in the winter transfer window: they will sell Neymar. With Mbappe’s seemingly limitless potential, his jovial attitude, and the love of countless fans in France, combined with Neymar’s infamous ego and his inflated contract, the latter’s dream of soccer domination from Paris will more than likely come to an unfulfilled end. The math also just adds up to Mbappe: a 19-year-old World Cup winner that has exhibited unmatched skill at the domestic and international level has far more years left in him than a 26-year-old player unproven (and possibly unable) of taking himself and his team to greatness. Come the end of January of next year, Neymar will remember his time in Paris as nothing more than a footnote to Mbappe’s ascension as one of the sport’s greatest.

Hurricane storms invitational Tulsa cross country pulls off strong performance at the Hurricane Invitational.

Heading into the season with a healthy team and coming off a great offseason, the Tulsa cross country teams prepared their course for the Hurricane Invitational. On Saturday, Sept. 1, the Hurricane runners arrived at Mohawk Soccer Complex to run an 8K and a two mile course against Oklahoma State University, Oklahoma University, and Arkansas University.

The men, racing at 9 a.m., could only have seven runners on the roster for the meet. Running for TU were Isaac Akers, Bryan Cobaz, Adam Breaux, Braydon Rennie, Reed Sahedevan, Cameron Field and Austin Del Rosso. TU, expecting two in the top five, was hoping to come out on top in the meet. The men lined up for their 10K (4 mile) race with 26 runners total. TU then kept a solid position throughout the entire race. As the laps proceeded and the runners broke up, Tulsa kept four in the top 10. Akers hung in third, behind an Arkansas and Oklahoma runner, with Del Rosso, Cameron Field and Adam Breaux filling in directly behind them in the mix of other racers.

TU filled up the front pack of the race until the final lap started and Akers took off.

Each lap being a mile, it seemed that Akers kicked it in way too early and would fall back, but the gap between him and the second place runner behind him continued to grow. Del Rosso turned on the heat behind Akers’s trail, putting the pressure on Arkansas and Oklahoma. Akers had time to spare reaching the finish line, able to look back and see Rosso and the rest of the pack pulling up behind him. Akers finished first overall with a time of 20:12. Del Rosso came in behind him at 20:23 in fourth. Cameron Field was 10 seconds behind him (20:33) in sixth place. Breaux kept in the top four tulsa runners in the top 10, as he placed eighth in 20:38. Sahadevan pulled up in 17th place in 21:33. Rennie came in 19th in 21:33. The

Devyn Lyon Student Writer

seventh man for TU, Bryan Corbaz, then strode around the corner in 21st in 21:42.

The Tulsa Men’s cross ountry team finished first overall. TU’s final score of 36 was just barely in front of Arkansas’ 37.

Oklahoma University was a little further behind with 55, and then Oklahoma State in last with 98.

Immediately after, the Women’s two-mile race kicked off. OSU brought a lot more female runners, so the women’s race consisted of 37. Racing for TU were Reagan Hausmann, Alyssa Solberg, Alice Newcombe, Allison Bailey, Avery Culpepper and Katie Andrews. Unlike in the men’s race, the ladies had over half of the runners remaining in a tight pack nearly the entire race. Oklahoma State and Oklahoma runners led the pack with TU and Arkansas filling in the gaps. Hausman led for Tulsa, but Solberg and Newcomb were right on her heels.

The women’s race was close and compacted. The competitiveness allowed small gaps between each runner for the finish.

Hausmann finished in fourth with 11:25. Behind her was Solberg in sixth in 11:29, and Newcomb tied for seventh in 11:33. Bailey came in a little after the front pack in 19th place in 12:17. Then, Culpepper in 22nd in 12:33 ,and Andrews in 24th in 12:41.

The Tulsa Women finished fourth overall.

Oklahoma came in first with 48 points, then Oklahoma State with 50, Arkansas with 55 and TU with 59.

Both teams had the tone set early for their season and could decide what they needed to do to improve and rise above competitive teams such as the three they ran against on Saturday. The training doesn’t stop for TU Cross Country; preparing still for faster times and improved positions before the Nuttycombe Invitational Race in Madison, Wisconsin on Sept. 28th. photos by Devyn Lyon

Sports

4 September 2018

The Collegian: 5

Professional sports crystal ball, September edition Student writers Andrew Noland and Chris Lierly, Sports Editor Brennen Gray and Editor-in-Chief Justin Guglielmetti give their predicitons for the coming months in professional sports.

NHL Season Kicks Off with a Bang Holy zamboni, it’s almost hockey season! I know most sports fans in Oklahoma don’t really keep up with the slipperiest sport this side of curling and Greco-Roman wrestling, but the competition is sure to be heated in 2018-19. Fresh off their hardfought Flat Stanley cup win last year, the Pittsburgh Penguins will bring back most of their vaunted starting lineup, including center Dmitri Petrenko, weapons specialist Viktor Reznov and right stereotype Wladimir Russianivic. Still, devilishly goodlooking head coach Justin Trudeau will have have his hands full with the Penguins’ biggest rivals, the Philadelphia Flyers, whose young core of Pyotr Popov, Siergei Svedka and Greyus Goosovic will be joined by the biggest free-agent signee in history: Sidney “the General” Grievious.

As Mbappe Moves to Accept Ballon D’Or, Ronaldo Drains His Life Force I know this isn’t necessarily a bold prediction, considering that’s what he must have been doing to Modric for the past decade. But he needs a sprightly replacement, and with all the talk of the French prodigy already overcoming the obstacles that have plagued both Messi and Ronaldo’s legacies, Ronaldo will seek to end the debate once and for all in his favor by absorbing the youthful vitality that courses through Mbappe’s body. While it will be disturbing to watch during the ceremony, we all know we won’t be looking away as Ronaldo dismantles his opponents on the pitch for years to come.

Browns Win a Game So here is how it all goes down. Steelers vs. Browns. Tyrod Taylor gets hit one too many times and is out with an injury. Baker Mayfield takes over in the third quarter

right after a Tostitos ad. Mayfield is mistaken for a freshman in college, and the Dline rushes after everyone else. Mayfield seizes the opportunity of zero pressure in the pocket to wave off his three wide open receivers and scramble for the first down. Mayfield keeps runnin’ like he stole something until the ol’ black and yellow gets wise to the deception. Browns owners Jimmy and Dee Haslam have been hard at work in the off-season on their longdistance throws to prepare to throw Head Coach Hue Jackson under the bus. So they throw Jackson under the entire Steelers de-

the East to form the WNBA (Western National Basketball Association).

Neither Red Sox Nor Cubs Win World Series Despite waltzing into the postseason with all the Big Dick Energy of a postAriana Grande Pete Davidson, the Boston Red Sox lose in unceremonious fashion to the New York Yankees in the ALCS. Sox fans everywhere bemoan their team’s lack of success, adopting the “lovable loser” angle and embracing their team’s historic record of failure, all the while ignoring their three World Series rings in the 21st century. Meanwhile, the Chicago Cubs fail to make it out of the first round, prompting some Bleacher Bums to question whether their team will ever win a championship in their lifetime. Upon being reminded that the Cubbies won it all two years ago, the fans break down in a massive existential identity crisis, briefly considering moving to the South Side before remembering, lol, it’s the White Sox down there. Two weeks later, Yankees fans seem remarkably perturbed at the Bombers’ 28th title, complaining it had been “a whole nine years” since the last one.

Melo Sinks the Rockets While many people think that Carmelo Anthony will be a drain on funds for the Houston franchise, James Harden and his gang do not need their franchise to shovel piles of burning money into a deep hole to pay Melo’s salary, considering how useless he was on the Thunder. But get this: Melo will literally sink the team. He plans to pile every last Rocket on his yacht and pull a Titanic faster than you can say, “Draw me like one of your French players, Coach Pop.”

“... the West will break away from the East to form the WNBA (Western National Basketball Association).” fense. Steelers coach Mike Tomlin figures out that it is not a preseason game and gets on the field himself to truck some Browns, bringing his starters on the field with him.

In the confusion, Mayfield ends up in the endzone and then runs down the field acting like he scored the TD all by himself.

The score is now 6-42. Tomlin throws in the Terrible Towel out of embarrassment for letting the Browns score.

Wexit2018 For the last couple years, the Western Conference side of the NBA playoff bracket has been a gauntlet of death for the conference champ, and the East has been a cakewalk for whatever team LeBron chooses to lose with in the finals in that given year. With the King moving to LA this summer the time has finally come for Wexit set to occur just before the preseason at the end of September. With only Toronto, Boston and Philadelphia as real contenders, the West will break away from

graphic by Conner Maggio

Ronaldo eats Mbappe’s energy as Greivious struts around.

15

How to be a freshman loser Student writer, fitness expert and TU football player Thomas von Borstel shares his boundless fitness wisdom.

It must seem really creative to adapt the title of “The Biggest Loser” TV show and apply it to my college newspaper headline.

If you think that’s creative, get this: I could also tell you how to lose weight during college rather than strike out with that large bowling ball you’ll be carrying around freshman year because of stress eating.

The first tip: don’t see exercise as some lugubrious task to shed off a pot belly.

Certainly, this isn’t a pragmatic tip, but the mental game is the initial undertaking.

Visualize a positive experience. I’m not some whack job Dharma bum; full belief is the key to the door. You might sit in your meditative posture and think this is some horseshit, but you might find with time that your brain needed that little bit of exercise to pull the cargo and the caboose.

The second tip: it’s all reading and arithmetic, grade school stuff. Read your labels.

Eat food that is comprised of one ingredient, either a meat, vegetable, grains or fruits. That’ll avoid added fats and sugars.

Don’t avoid your favorite foods though.

That’s where the arithmetic gets involved.

Calories out need to roughly equal calories in. Know your metabolism and your activity. If you are chasing rainbows and playing Fortnite for 12 hours straight, I wouldn’t eat 5,000 calories. You don’t need to count calories, but if you have a general understanding of your metabolism, eating habits and exercise, you can roughly estimate the ratio of in versus out. Your diet is nearly the entirety of what comprises one’s body composition. Don’t be a scrooge though.

The Golden Mean, moderation, balance and no matter what value system you encounter, temperance is to be enacted.

The third tip: think short and intense.

Only gym rats want to be in that place for 2 hours just slumping away, dripping all over equipment and wishing you’d just melt away. Go to the gym, bang on the drums like Todd Rundgren and get out of there.

High Intensity Interval Training is an essential tool to this sort of exercising. Any sort of lift combined with concentrated bouts of cardio will allow your body to keep its heart rate up for longer periods of time. The Internet is filled with resources to instruct novice exercises. It only takes a single compound exercise and some sprints to get started.

The fourth tip: often. Maxims, aphorisms and so on include such phrases as “a body in motion, stays in motion.” Looking back at our last tip, it only takes 20 minutes a day. In total, it’s a little more than two hours out of a week, in which you get 168 hours total. Start your day with a speedy few rounds of sun salutation A. Do calisthenic exercises on your dorm room floor: jumping jacks, push-ups and crunches.

You’ll find if you start your day with exercise, some wholesome carbohydrates and a glass of water, you will have a surge of energy cannonballing you to mid-day.

If nothing else is possible, walk as much as possible. Explore every nook and cranny of the gorgeous campus we inhabit.

Find a weird bathroom you like. Nose into some person’s study corner and feel their simpering glare. Stumble onto the super secret staircase in the library. Walk a few flights. Just remember these words written by Douglas Adams: never forget your towel.

Sep. 03 - Sep. 09

Monday

Tuesday 3

4

Wednesday

Thursday

5

6

Saturday

Friday Volleyball @ ACU 6:30 p.m.

No Events No Events No Events No Events

8

7

M Tennis @ Silverado Invit. CA W Soccer vs. UL 5 p.m.

M Soccer vs. NMU 7 p.m.

Sunday 9

Volleyball vs. NSU 11:30 a.m.

Volleyball vs. ORU 7 p.m.

Football @ Texas 7 p.m.

W Soccer vs.

Rice 2 p.m.

News

The Collegian: 6

Alexander Health Center adds Profile: position for mental crisis response Heber Hurd

4 September 2018

Sen. John McCain

Student Writer

United States Senator John McCain passed away at the age of 81 on August 25, 2018 following the announcement he would be discontinuing treatment for brain cancer the previous day. Senator McCain served as a United States Naval aviator for 22 years, a member of The United States House of Representatives out of Arizona for four years and a United States Senator from 1986 until the day of his passing.

Senator John Sidney McCain III was born August 29, 1936 in the Panama Canal Zone during the time of his father’s assignment at Coco Solo Naval Air Station. He came from a heritage of military and political service that saw its beginnings shortly before the American Revolutionary War and was known for standing his ground for what he believed was right, regardless of whether it was in line with his political party’s agenda.

During his political tenure, he was scrutinized at times for not acting strictly based on his party’s platform. Rather, he claimed to act on the platform of his conscience. To this end, he called upon his experiences as the child and grandchild of Navy admirals as well as flying for the U.S. Navy during the Vietnam War. This led to a torturous five-year stay as a prisoner of war at the infamous Hanoi Hilton after his plane was shot down during a bombing mission. Upon being freed, he devoted his life to the service and defense of others.

He spent his political career advocating for change in health care delivery at the Department of Veterans Affairs, as well as a multitude of legislative programs in support of bipartisan immigration reform, American Indian interests, encouraging youth to learn

about contributing to their communities and various other aspects of government and defense reform, to name a few.

Among the most notable pursuits and accomplishments in his career, Senator McCain’s office handled health care cases for over 17,000 veterans around the world. It is typical for each state’s senate office to handle cases for veterans from their home states. However, amid struggles in the bureaucracy and corruption in the managing levels of the VA, he saw it as his duty to help alleviate the problems faced by veterans from all states.

Following the 2014 scandal of the negligence and unethical practices of the Director of the Phoenix, Arizona, VA hospital that led to the deaths of several veterans awaiting medical treatment, Senator McCain worked directly with Senator Bernie Sanders on VA reform legislation. This helped pave the way to more easily hold VA management accountable for wrongful practices, the establishment of The Veterans Choice Program and various changes in VA education benefits. These benefits include medical student tuition assistance when students spend their residencies at VA hospitals, as well as the removal of in-state residency tuition requirements for veterans seeking to study at higher educational institutions outside of their states of residence.

Senator McCain is survived by his wife Cindy as well as seven children and five grandchildren. Following public and private funeral services in Phoenix, Arizona, he will be laid to rest at The United States Naval Academy Cemetery in Annapolis, Maryland.

For details on the life of Senator McCain, his biographical story can be found at www.

JohnMcCain.com/story.

photo by Brooke-Lyne Holland

Kirsten Robertson is here at TU to provide additional support for students undergoing mental trauma.

The Alexander Health Center defines and explains their new hire’s position.

Brooke-Lyne Holland Student Writer Improvements are coming to the Alexander Health Center Counseling Center this semester to help students deal with stressful situations. Staff Counselor and Outreach Specialist Kirsten Robertson is here to help students at TU. Robertson went to Antioch University in Seattle and majored in clinical psychology throughout her college career. She works as an intern at TU and is completing her doctorate in clinical psychology. In two weeks, she will begin work in a new position at the counseling center: Staff Counselor - Outreach Specialist.

Director of Alexander Health Center Counseling Center Michael McClendon described Robertson’s position as a “mobile extension of the counselor center” at the University of Tulsa. “Her job is to help facilitate coordinating student’s care and getting them connected to sources that can help them,” McClendon stated.

Robertson has a split week, working half of the time at TU and the other half at Laureate Psychiatric Clinic & Hospital where she helps in a crisis unit.

To this end, Robertson explained her choice in career by saying, “I like the diversity of working at the crisis unit … while I also like working in a counseling center so I can establish ongoing relationships with people” Robertson also likes teaching and training, which she will be doing on campus at TU once she fully establishes her role here.

She was recently certified to be an instructor in mental health first aid and will slowly educate teachers and students on how to notice and deal with mental health problems.

Robertson is here to make students’ hard transitions more bearable. Such transitions include attending college and dealing with issues that may be too much for students to handle on their own.

She will be equipped with a cellphone and laptop while she responds to calls that pertain to mental outbreaks or crises on campus. She will work alongside Campus Security, Housing and The Center for Student Academic Support to give extra support from the counseling service to those in need.

Robertson will support students who are dealing with mental health concerns and stress that can branch from food insecurities, social issues and even housing issues that interfere with their daily activities.

“It’s a direct response to all the effort the university is putting forth to focus on the success of students,” McClendon said of Robertson’s new position. “We’re really excited about her position because it will augment everything that deals with students’ success.”

Currently, students are not able to directly contact Robertson, but if there is a crisis or student of concern on campus, she will be notified and attend along with Campus Security to assist in the situations and be there for the students. This gives the students a safe place when going through predicaments.

If students need help and believe Kirsten Robertson can be of help, she will be notified by Campus Security, CSAS, or by the Counseling Center so she can be there to assist in the situation.

Armed service members carry Sen. McCain’s coffin.

courtesy Department of Defense

TU junior chairman of national Republican organization Sheridan Nolan speaks about her recent appointment as Chairman of the Oklahoma Federation of College Republicans.

Tori Gellman Student Writer TU junior Sheridan Nolan sat down with The Collegian to discuss her recent appointment to Chairman of the Oklahoma Federation of College Republicans. She is the first College Republican Chairman from the University of Tulsa.

“My first real political thing was my senior year of high school,” said Nolan. “I got interviewed on TV at a rally for Ted Cruz in the primaries.”

She’s been enamored with politics ever since. Upon arriving at the University of Tulsa in the fall of 2016, Nolan founded the university’s chapter of College Republicans.

Before becoming the president of her new chapter, Nolan was already promoting the organization during the summer leading

up to her freshman year. Nolan attributes a large part of her exposure to local politics to the fact that she had the largest chapter of College Republicans in Oklahoma as a freshman beginning a first year chapter.

She certainly caught the attention of the former National College Republican Chairman Chandler Thornton, who saw all of the work Nolan was doing at such a young age and with such fervor, and knew that she would easily fit in on a larger political scale.

Nolan was inducted to her position this past July. Each executive position is elected across the state from different universities with active College Republicans chapters.

Nolan stated that within her first week on the job, she spearheaded the creation of a statewide funding effort and created a letter and contact sheet for donors with a specific outline of a preliminary budget.

She also explained that after the runoff election last Tuesday, it’s a bigger year for Republicans than ever.

With the teacher walkout, the local political parties have seen a huge shift in the types of individuals being elected.

“It’s kind of our job to un-muddy the waters, and we’re working really hard to make sure there is a happy medium between our education and who we elect,” Nolan explained.

Nolan attributes much of her success to her five board members, who she says she “couldn’t achieve anything without.”

Among her goals, Nolan hopes that she can aid Oklahoma College Republicans in becoming a strong delegation like other states. To achieve this, she’s been planning better agendas and hearing various fundraising suggestions. Nolan will hold her position until Spring of 2019, though she is already considering running again.

On a personal level, Sheridan has a dream of holding a federal or state candidate debate at the university. Nolan also expressed a desire to use her position to get more kids from Oklahoma to the national conferences.

Sheridan was fortunate enough to go to the conference, but she understands that it’s not always an option for people, and she believes it should be accessible to more students, especially from Oklahoma.

Nolan’s extracurriculars probably don’t look like most students’. This June, Sheridan got access to the state of Virginia’s Republican Party information and phone banked from Tulsa to remind individuals to go out and vote. Furthermore, when working for an attorney general candidate in the primary, she knocked on 611 doors a week.

When she interned for mayor G.T. Bynum, she got to conduct research for state question 788 and look into how it will affect city zoning laws and planning.

As a political science and French double major, Sheridan was afforded the rare opportunity to seamlessly combine both of her areas of study on an academic excursion this past summer to France where she studied European Union Law. Nolan explained that she ran into the former French President, Francois Hollande, at the largest bookstore in Europe. She hopes that after she completes her undergraduate degrees that she can go on to earn a Masters in public administration or law.

News

4 September 2018

Betty Shelby to conduct TPD class related to officer slayings The officer, controversial for her actions, is slated to teach a course on what happens to officers after they have killed someone.

Justin Guglielmetti Editor-in-Chief Two years ago, Tulsa police officer Betty Shelby shot and fatally killed Terence Crutcher, a black, unarmed father of four.

The incident was met with public outrage and Shelby’s dismissal from the force, although she was later acquitted on the charge of first-degree manslaughter. Now, once again employed as a law enforcement officer in Rogers County, Shelby is teaching a class for fellow officers on how to “survive” the traumatic event of killing a citizen.

The focus of the class is not concerned with the details of the shooting itself, but rather on the impact such an event can have on the police officer in question, both in terms of physical harm and the legal and political ramifications. Shelby has a particular name for the intense public scrutiny that can befall an officer after such a shooting, calling it the “Ferguson effect” in reference to the 2014 slaying of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. In a statement to a local ABC affiliate, Shelby offered the following explanation for the necessity of her class.

“I faced many challenges that I was unprepared for, such as threats to my life by activists groups to loss of pay,” she said.

“My class is to help others by sharing some of the skills I used to cope with the stress

of my critical incident. As law enforcement, we experience many critical incidents throughout our career. These tools that I share are just a few to help them cope with the stress of the critical incidents they have had or will experience.”

Activist groups have taken issue with Shelby’s class, criticizing what they believe is a tone deaf and inaccurate account of the events surrounding Terence Crutcher’s death, as if Shelby is the victim and Crutcher the source of her troubles. Last week, protestors marched outside the county courthouse, holding signs that read “Ban Betty.”

Meanwhile, Marq Lewis, founder and spokesperson for local community action group We the People Oklahoma, called the class “one more indication that Betty Shelby has been rewarded while Terence Crutcher’s children are suffering still.”

According to Tulsa County Sheriff Vic Regalado, nobody involved in the class is getting paid. However, it is certified by the Council on Law Enforcement Education and Training (CLEET) and counts toward two hours of mental health training mandated by the Tulsa County Sheriff’s Office.

Lewis recognized the value of such a course, praising the sheriff’s office for giving officers an opportunity “to address their own mental health from an obviously stressful job,” but believes Shelby is the wrong person to provide such instruction. We the People Oklahoma also urged TCSO to replace the course with a similarly themed but reframed class centered around deescalation.

Dashcam footage of Shelby approaching Crutcher before fatally shooting him in 2016.

The Collegian: 7

Tragedy in Florida as gunman takes lives of two The shooting took place at a video game tournament in which two men plus the gunman were left dead.

Heber Hurd Student Writer A recent shooting saw three men lose their lives on Sunday, August 26, 2018 after a gunman opened fire at a gaming tournament in a Jacksonville, Florida, restaurant.

Victims Taylor Robertson, 28, and Elijah Clayton, 22, were killed. The shooter then took his own life.

The gunman, aged 24 out of Baltimore, Maryland, was a competitive gamer and

the gamers competing. Upon entering the Good Luck Have Fun Game Bar, the suspect moved past patrons in the crowded restaurant and into the tournament area and then opened fire shortly thereafter. Additionally, a victim shot in the foot stated the gunman was upset he had lost a game earlier in the day and it may have had some influence on his actions.

The tournament was being held as a qualifier for EA Sports Madden Classic. Madden Classic is part of EA Sports Madden Championship Series in which qualifiers are held to determine final competitors. The tournament provides hefty prize money for top players, making competition fierce. This year’s top spot awards a prize of $25,000.

“A lawsuit has been filed ... by one of the competitors who was injured.” winner of last year’s Madden 17 Bills Championship. He was a student at the University of Maryland but was not enrolled as of August 26, 2018. He had received previous treatment for mental illness and psychological issues resembling schizophrenia that impeded upon his graduating from high school. A statement from a judge mentioned he would play video games until 4 a.m. and would go days without showering.

According to Sheriff Mike Williams, the shooter specifically targeted the victims. Robertson and Clayton were two of

Robertson made decent money at gaming and was saving his earnings to return to college. This is the first mass shooting to occur at a video gaming tournament. EA has stated it cancelled the remaining qualifier tournaments and is reevaluating security protocols for future events.

A lawsuit has been filed against EA and the GLHF Game Bar by one of the competitors who was injured. The suit alleges inadequate security protocols and includes statements regarding lack of a city permit for holding the tournament. The venue was overcrowded and not equipped to handle the number of people who were present at the time.

EA announced it is donating $1 million to victims and families and will set up a fund for others to show their support and have the opportunity to donate. The video game publisher is also planning on hosting a livestream on September 6, 2018, and has announced details will soon be available on their website. Information for the Jacksonville Tribute fund can also be found on their website.

courtesy Quartz and Tulsa Police Department

TU partners with LIBR to conduct TU Tough Study The study will compensate all participants and is in two parts, the first of which is open to all first-year students at TU. Brooke-Lyne Holland Student Writer LIBR, the Laureate Institute for Brain Research, recently partnered up with the University of Tulsa to conduct research on first-year students to study the effect of psychological toughness training on a student’s mental wellness. This study is called The TU Tough Study.

According to the LIBR website, this particular study is a joint effort to help improve TU and other college students’ performance in school.

TU students are invited to participate in the TU Tough Study and will be compensated for their time. Even though the research studies mental health, students do not have

to experience symptoms of stress or anxiety to participate in the study.

According to the LIBR website, the study is open to freshman who are: · 18 years and older, · Can understand enough English to complete the interviews and answer questions, · Have access to a computer, · NOT an international student visa (this is due to restrictions on international students’ research compensation) · and are NOT currently experiencing severe/unstable health issues that need immediate medical attention.

The first step in the TU Tough Study is completing a five-to-ten-minute online survey about participants’ current levels of stress. Participants receive a $10 gift card to a store that the survey randomly chooses (GameStop, Amazon, QuikTrip, ect.) and a TU Tough t-shirt.

Students can visit www.laureateinstitute. org/tutough to take the survey. After com-

pleting the survey, participants will receive an email confirming their submission and will then receive their shirt and gift card in the mail shortly after.

Once part one of the study is complete, up to 300 students will be invited to participate in the second part of the research. According to the LIBR website, part two of the TU Tough Study includes an “in-person session at The University of Tulsa, [where participants] provide an optional saliva sample for genetic analysis” and complete “mental toughness training” while attending college.

While doing this, participants will also be asked to complete online surveys similar to that in part one, answering questions about their experiences and mental health repeatedly over the next five years to record accurate data. According to the LIBR website, participants will be compensated for all the requirements and will earn a total of $275 upon total completion of part two.

By participating in the studies, LIBR claims, students will help researchers to

TU’s partnership with LIBR was born in the hopes of cultivating a university more privy to the mental needs of its students.

better understand sources of stress and resilience in college students. Information gathered through the study will assist in developing ways to improve students’ success in school and life.

If you experience a significant amount of stress, anxiety, depression or mood swings that affect your everyday life, seek help TU students are eligible for ten free counseling sessions at the Counseling and Psychological Services Center in the Alexander Health Center.

Emergency Hotlines Local Crisis Line: 918-293-2100 National 24/7 Suicide Hotline: 1-800784-2433 True Blue Neighbors Behavioral Health Clinic: 918-631-3342 Alexander Health Center: 918-631-2241 Campus Security: 918-631-5555 Domestic Violence Intervention Service: 918-585-3163

courtesy LIBR

The Collegian: 8

News

4 September 2018

Prisoners nationwide continue labor strikes Prisoners around the country seek what they call “more human rights.”

Brady Patterson Student Writer This week marks the third week of action by prisoners around the country in a strike intended to bring attention to their status, living conditions and perceived lack of human rights. Organized by a group of incarcerated activists called Jailhouse Lawyers Speak and supported by the Incarcerated Workers Organizing Committee, the prisoners are demanding action be taken on ten specific issues that relate to their rights.

courtesy Achmed Johnson

1. Immediate improvements to the conditions of prisons and prison policies that recognize the humanity of imprisoned men and women.

2. An immediate end to prison slavery. All persons imprisoned in any place of detention under United States jurisdiction must be paid the prevailing wage in their state or territory for their labor.

3. The Prison Litigation Reform Act must be rescinded, allowing imprisoned humans a proper channel to address grievances and violations of their rights.

4. The Truth in Sentencing Act and the Sentencing Reform Act must be rescinded so that imprisoned humans have a possibility of rehabilitation and parole. No human shall be sentenced to Death by Incarceration or serve any sentence without the possibility of parole.

5. An immediate end to the racial overcharging, over-sentencing, and parole denials of Black and brown humans. Black humans shall no longer be denied parole because the victim of the crime was white, which is a particular problem in southern states.

6. An immediate end to racist gang enhancement laws targeting Black and brown humans.

7. No imprisoned human shall be denied access to rehabilitation programs at their place of detention because of their label as a violent offender.

8. State prisons must be funded specifically to offer more rehabilitation services.

9.Pell grants must be reinstated in all US states and territories.

10.The voting rights of all confined citizens serving prison sentences, pretrial detainees, and so-called “ex-felons” must be counted. Representation is demanded. All voices count!

In many cases, prisoners are not paid the federal minimum wage for their work. It is not uncommon for people to work for as little as 50 or even 25 cents an hour.

Methods used by the strikers are reported to be sit-ins, work stoppages and hunger strikes.

The most recent press release from the organizing committees seeks to reinforce the notion that “strikers may be resisting in ways that are tougher to quantify and view” and that officials within the correctional facilities may be taking actions to hide the protests from the outside world. The Oklahoma Department of Corrections could not be reached for comment.

Dr. Jeremy Kuzmarov, former TU history professor and author of “Modernizing Repression: Police Training and Nation-Building in the American Century,” gave his take on the historical significance of the strikes.

He mentioned that prisoner activism has a long history in the United States, specifically describing two events that occured in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.

One was the killing of prisoner activist and Black Panther party member George Jackson, who was originally detained for one year to life but was kept imprisoned for almost 10 years because of his political activities.

The second was the Attica Prison uprising, which happened in response to both Jackson’s death and the poor conditions of the prison. The inmates there took control of the prison and took several guards hostage until the National Guard was called to violently quell the uprising.

Both Dr. Kuzmarov and the striking organizations cited these events as inspirations for today’s actions. He went on to say that the subsequent expansion of the “war on drugs” and the “tough on crime” ideology have lead to the conditions that have incited the current action.

Dr. Kuzmarov’s work focuses on the exportation of the American prison model to other countries, like Iraq and Vietnam over the course of the 20th century.

He cited horrible conditions and politically motivated imprisonment as failures of those systems and spoke of a “need to humanize American systems [of imprisonment]” before trying to influence those of other countries.

He also wished to make it clear that most media outlets are not paying significant attention to what should be a historic event.

Ten prisoners’ issues quoted direclty from Incarcerated Workers Organizing Committee.

One of the gags in the video involved placing a student ID in a microwave to gain access to Fisher South.

The two TU students behind viral video recount process The video, posted on Twitter to Internet acclaim, was a quicklydone, planned labor of love.

Madison Connell Satire Editor On Sunday, August 25, TU freshmen Achmed Johnson and Logan Seeley posted a video to Twitter. In just a week, the video gained around five million views, 138 thousand shares, and 360 thousand likes.

The video was first posted in 18 separate parts on Snapchat, then compiled for Twitter. It starts out simply, with Johnson scanning his ID to enter Fisher South. Next, he scans it in through his wallet, then through his backpack. It then gets more and more complex, as he scans it through a “Call of Duty: Black Ops” case, a Tide Pods package, a microwave and a guitar.

The caption on the video reads “Mom: ‘Are you learning anything in college?’ Me: [video plays underneath].”

The idea for the video came from something small. “[Johnson] had [his ID] in his pocket, and our hands were full or something, and he put his leg up there and we were like, ‘That worked?’ so we went from there,” said Seeley.

Johnson remarked how it only “took a day to come up with a caption that would be famous.”

They planned each of the 18 ideas out on a whiteboard before taping any of it. Even

with their planning, they did not expect the video to go quite as viral as it did. Johnson was expecting “25,000 likes, so [the video] overshot a lot.”

Well over 900 people replied to the tweet, with a few Twitter users debated whether the boys deserved free tuition based on their creativity.

Seeley’s favorite replies “were the serious ones, they named the technical scanner that it was … [the Twitter user] was like Elon Musk down there.”

Even though the video is now famous on campus, the boys do not want the attention the video has garnered. “I’ve been disguising myself. I’ve been wearing my hoodies and my glasses to class,” said Johnson. “I hate when people talk to me that I don’t really know, you know? It’s awkward. I hate crowds.”

Try as he might, Johnson has been unable to escape all of the stardom. According to Johnson, several students began whispering one day after his name was called in attendance.

The pair are not opposed to all forms of fame, however.

After the video went viral, Johnson’s mom told him, “You’re going to be on Ellen!”

Johnson joked back, “Thanks, Mom, I know.”

Johnson direct messaged both Ellen DeGeneres and Lil Yachty, but neither have replied as of yet.

“Johnson direct messaged both Ellen DeGeneres and Lil Yachty, but neither have replied as of yet.”

@TUCollegian

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Justin Guglielmetti managing editor

Raven Fawcett news editor

Ethan Veenker sports editor

Brennen Gray variety editor

Emma Palmer commentary editor

Emily Every satire editor

Madison Connell photo & graphics editor

Conner Maggio

business & advertising manager

Brian Kwiecinski

social media & web manager

Sara Serrano

distribution managers

Nathan Gibbons and Katelyn Baker copy editor

Bryant Loney

The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations.

Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising@tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday proir to publication.

Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian.org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication.

Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content.

Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

News

4 September 2018

The Collegian: 9

Aug. 27 10:00 a.m.

University Of Tulsa Campus Security Officers detained an individual who was trespassing on University of Tulsa property near Helmerich Hall. Campus Security had four previous contacts on file with the individual. Tulsa Police responded to the scene and arrested the individual on outstanding warrants in Tulsa County.

Aug. 26 1:50 a.m.

While on routine patrol of university owned off campus properties, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers witnessed a vehicle at 6th and Wheeling traveling at a slow speed. Officers observed the vehicle come to a stop in the road after hitting a curb. Upon inspection the driver was unconscious but appeared to breathing with several open bottles of alcohol. Tulsa Police Department and EMSA were contacted and the driver was transported to the hospital.

4:10 a.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate two individuals seen on camera in the Mabee Club of John Mabee Hall engaging in sexual activities. Upon arrival officers met with the two individuals and informed them they were in a public setting, and their actions were not in accordance with university policies. Officers informed the individuals they would be receiving student misconducts and escorted them out of the Mabee Club without further incident.

Aug. 29 2:56 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to retrieve found property. Upon arrival Officers were given a cell phone from TU a student. The owner was determined and contacted so the phone was returned to the owner.

2:05 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers received a report of a non University affiliate harassing a staff member via telephone. The individual has a history of applying for non existent positions with the University.This investigation is on-going.

5:15 p.m.

Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Lorton Performing Arts Center to retrieve found property. Upon arrival officers received a set of keys and a USB that was attached to a lanyard. The owner was unable to be determined or contacted so the property was placed into the property locker for safe keeping.

Aug. 28 11:55 a.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to a report of an individual in the Human Resources Office at Fisher Hall East handing out paperwork of some kind. Upon arrival, officers determined the person had made a complaint about a TU affiliate and left without incident.

Aug. 30 9:55 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate a possible a panic alarm at West Park.

Officers made contact with the resident of the apartment.

The resident stated that they had accidentally tripped the alarm. Officers checked the area then cleared the alarm.

4:45 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Mayo Village to investigate a possible hit and run. Upon arrival officers spoke to the owner who stated their vehicle was parked and when they came back they noticed damage to their bumper. Officers took measurements of the accident.

10:05 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers conducted a pedestrian check on an unknown individual in front of the True Blue Neighbors front door. The individual was in and out of consciousness and semi responsive. Tulsa Police and Emergency Medical Services Authority was contacted.

EMSA conducted a check on the individual and transported him to Hillcrest medical center.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Tuesday, September 4 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

Hardesty Hall, Career Services Center Lobby Phillips 66 Résumé Madness Workshop Phillips 66 will be onsite to hold Résumé Workshops and Résumé Madness Sessions.

The Résumé Workshop will identify the must have’s for résumés - what employers want to see on your résumé.

The Résumé Madness sessions are one-on-one résumé review sessions with a Phillips 66 representative.

Nate Gibbons Distribution Manager

Crackdown in India leads to protests Last Tuesday, police officers raided at least six homes across India and arrested five people known for supporting resistance movements or otherwise speaking out against the government. They’ve been accused of supporting plots to assassinate top government officials, inciting a riot and supporting communist groups.

The accusations mirror those given to other activists arrested last June. Critics claim the charges are only a chance for Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s government to punish opponents.

The opposition politician Prashant Bhushan wrote in The Indian Express, “The arrests and raids are outrageous attempts to stifle voices of dissent and curb peaceful struggles against this government’s anti-people ideology … Democracy is under siege in India.”

Several critics and activists have been killed since Mr. Modi’s Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party took over in 2014.

Nicaraguan government orders United Nations team to leave A United Nations team has been ordered to leave by Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega after publishing a critical report. Upward of 300 people were recently killed in political unrest in the country.

The report, published last Wednesday by the U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights, called for the disarming of violent masked gangs and to end the use of excessive force against protesters in Nicaragua.

“Civil servants, including teachers and doctors, have been sacked, and people seen to be critical of the government have been harassed, intimidated and even attacked,” the report says. “The authorities, including at the highest-level, have increasingly stigmatised and discredited protesters and human rights defenders, describing them as ‘terrorists,’ ‘coup-mongers’ or ‘plagues.’”

The U.N. mission’s chief Guillermo Fernandez says his team will continue to monitor from abroad. Meanwhile, the Nicaraguan government claimed the report was biased and that the team overstepped its authority. They also said the report largely ignored the attacks on the governing party, many of which were fatal.

China’s “re-education camps” alarm United Nations The United Nations called for the release of Uighurs held on a counter terrorism pretext last week. The statement came shortly after a committee listened to reports that over one million Muslim Uighurs may have been detained in China’s re-education camps.

In a statement released last Thursday, the U.N. criticized the “broad definition of terrorism and vague references to extremism and unclear definition of separatism in Chinese legislation.”

Beijing acknowledged that some religious extremists were detained but denied further allegations. Prisoners of the camps are reportedly forced to shout communist slogans and swear their loyalty to President Xi Jinping. Reports also suggest prisoners are held without charges and indefinitely, and that they often face torture.

The United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination said evidence suggested China had turned the region “into something that resembles a massive internment camp.”

Xinjiang, an autonomous region in China, has seen violence and crackdowns in the past. Beijing blames radical Islam for the region’s unrest.

Tuesday, September 4 at 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Student Union, Great Hall Friends of Finance Executive Speaker Series Luncheon Alex Lintner, president of consumer information services at Experian will serve as our first executive luncheon speaker.

Tuesday, September 4 at 7:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Helmerich Hall, 105 Senator Candidate Meet and Greet Come meet your Student Association senator candidates to inform your vote for this year’s elected officials!

Wednesday, September 5 at 12:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Hardesty Hall, Career Services Lobby Northwestern Mutual Lunch & Learn Workshop: Career Fair Tips & Tricks Northwestern Mutual is hosting a lunch and learn workshop on Career Fair Tips & Tricks.

Join us in Career Services (2nd Floor of Hardesty Hall) for Chick-fil-A lunch and learn how to get the most out of your Career Fair experience.

Presentation: 12 p.m. - 1 p.m.

Q&A: 1 p.m. - 2 pm.

Thursday, September 6 at 9:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Helmerich Hall, HELM 121 Employer Showcase & Info Session: BOK Financial All Business Students!

Please stop by and welcome recruiters from BOK Financial to TU’s campus! They will have a table set up in Helmerich Hall in the morning to meet and greet you.

At noon, you are invited to an Information Session and free lunch to learn more about internships, full-time positions and on-campus interviews this fall.

Please RSVP for the info/lunch session on Handshake or email tawny-crone@utulsa. edu.

Thursday, September 6 at 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Tyrrell Hall, Adelson Auditorium An Evening of Poetry with Meryl Natchez Join us for a reading and discussion with Meryl Natchetz.

Her translations include: Poems From the Stray Dog Café: Akhmatova, Mandelstam and Gumilev, and Tadeusz Borowski: Selected Poems. Her book of poetry, Jade Suit, appeared in 2001. Her poems and translations have appeared in American Journal of Poetry, The Pinch Literary Review, The Comstock Review, Altanta Review, Lyric, Moth, Squaw Valley Community of Writers Poetry Review, and many others, as well as the Tupelo Press anthology Cooking with the Muse, and Against Forgetting: Poetry of Witness edited by Carolyn Forché.

She is on the board of the Marin Poetry Center and blogs at www.dactyls-and-drakes. com.

Friday, September 7 at 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.

Hardesty Hall, Career Services Center Lobby Cimarex Interview Skills Lunch & Learn Workshop Cimarex will be onsite hosting a lunch-and-learn workshop on Interview Skills.

Join us for lunch and hear how to sharpen your interview skills.

Presentation, 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. • Q&A until 2 p.m.

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

Commentary

Finding yourself can wait The Collegian: 10

It’s key to remain flexible and patient during college, despite the pressure to define yourself.

Brian Kwiecinski Business & Advertising Manager Whether it is from stereotypes in movies and shows or our own hopes and dreams, we associate college with a lot of different personal milestones. In these four years, we search for so many things. We try to find a job, love, purpose and, most importantly, ourselves. Many undergraduates fervently believe that college represents the one and only chance to define yourself as a unique individual. You don’t have to.

We are force-fed the idea that if you don’t have yourself figured out by the time you leave college, if not before, then you have no chance of success in “the real world.”

The belief that college is the only time to find yourself is completely out of touch with the reality that people grow and change at different rates.

According to a longitudinal study from the U.S. Department of Education, about 33 percent of students switched majors within the first three years of college and a third of those students switched more than once. In addition, a survey of recent graduates done

by CareerBuilder found that 47 percent of them were working in careers outside of their degree field. While some of these changes may have been outside the control of the students/graduates, they are both high enough percentages that it’s safe to assume that the others simply found a different calling than they originally predicted.

Sometimes we don’t know what we want to do until we experience it. So, be flexible. Remember that the first time you think you’ve figured out who you are might not be the last. There is no certainty as to when you will truly find yourself, and that is perfectly fine.

It can be hard to accept that you don’t know who you are right now, especially because now is the time when you’re put under the highest scrutiny. In college, a lot of people are constantly trying to figure out who you are from whatever details they can get.

Someone could judge you based on where you’re from, your major or even just how you act in class. Sometimes they’ll confront you with these labels and taunt that

4 September 2018

cares if you didn’t find yourself in college?

Maybe you spent your time making lifelong bonds with some very important people. Or maybe you found that one skill that you really excel at and could even make a living from.

Self-actualization is not synonymous with success. You’ve got the rest of your life to figure out who you are or who you want to be, so never be afraid to put that line of

“For now, just do what makes you happy, because the rest will fall in place eventually.” they know you better than you do. Unfortunately, if you don’t have a clearer definition of yourself to fire back, it feels easier to let it be.

Having to deal with anyone’s assumptions for long enough may make you feel like you just have to accept their labels; you assume it’s better to have a faulty definition of yourself than no definition at all. That’s wrong.

You have so much time ahead of you, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. So, who

thinking up on a shelf. For now, just do what makes you happy, because the rest will fall into place eventually.

Be patient with yourself. Remember that you could change every week and still be you. We are only ever who we are in this exact moment. So, don’t worry about it.

You’re going to be amazing.

graphic by Conner Maggio Finding a concrete self-defintion is often encouraged during the college experience, but not everyone will see such a dramatic change in themselves.

Weekend campus culture lacking Due to a lack of recreational planning, TU students may have difficulties finding public social spaces during the weekend.

Emma Palmer Variety Editor Picture this: it’s a Saturday afternoon and you have just finished all your homework for the day. So you decide to go out. Maybe you don’t have a car, or maybe you just want to save money on gas, but you decide to stay on campus and see what’s up. Walking

through campus, you wouldn’t realize that 4,682 students attend the school. In fact, the campus feels more like a ghost town than anything. This has been my experience at TU. As someone who doesn’t participate in Greek life and therefore doesn’t have the built-in social cache, I have often struggled with the fact that on the weekends, TU campus culture doesn’t exist.

One of the issues with TU is the fact that

to socialize on a weekend when there is no neutral territory to meet with people.

Another issue regarding campus culture on the weekends is that there is no programming. I suppose this is once again due to operating costs, but while I have no free time to attend events on campus during the week, my weekends tend to be much freer.

A remedy to this that TU is in dire need of is access to social study spaces, a sort of

“... it can feel nigh impossible to socialize on a weekend when there is no neutral territory...” there is no centralized location for recreation. The closest we have to such a space would probably be ACAC (The Hut, specifically). However, ACAC feels more like a mall rather than a space for students to study and talk. Additionally, there is only so much accessibility during the weekends, since only The Hut and Subway are open.

One can only assume that this is due to operating costs, but it can feel nigh impossible

in-between to the reading rooms in McFarlin and the hub of ACAC. Oral Roberts University, a local school not too far from TU, has a space that meets the bill. With quiet rooms for study, lounging areas and video games, the Armand Hammer center (a.k.a.

“The Hammer”) is a great example of what a space could look like. By having a space dedicated solely to socializing and connecting, TU would be fostering an environment

that would naturally lean towards community. This is a case that I have seen in only one place on campus, and that is Fisher South.

Fisher South is a work of genius in its architecture. It’s designed in such a way that maximizes the amount of interactions students have with each other and is set up so that students have easy access to these social spaces. We need more spaces like Fisher South. When I was living in Lottie Jane, I only really met two people in my dorm. We are now roommates.

Another, and perhaps more feasible solution, is to invest in a coffee shop. Like, a real coffee shop. The cafe in McFarlin is all right to grab and go, but I still yearn for a place in which to study, meet with friends and just hang out.

TU has a lot going for it: academics are top notch, and the professors really care for their students, but socially, it can be a challenge to navigate. With more weekend geared events and dedicated social spaces, TU could grow into being lively on both the weekdays and on the weekends.

photo by Emma Palmer Seeing the public areas of TU seemingly abandoned during the weekend is par for the course for those living on campus.

4 September 2018

Commentary

Politicizing death not a substitute for action Using the deaths of public figures as political commentary distracts from personal political responsibility.

Andrew Noland Student Writer

In this past week, the deaths of two individuals from very different places have dominated headlines and social media. The first was Republican Arizona senator and two-time presidential candidate John McCain to a battle with brain cancer on August 25, marking the end to an undeniably remarkable political career. In recent days, we have seen debate spark between conservatives and liberals on how we should frame his legacy, including memes that serve to both mischaracterize, and occasionally contextualize, McCain’s story.

The Collegian: 11

As long as you can pursue your private interests and ensure your family and friends are there to support you, what does the death of an Arizona senator or an Iowan college student really mean to your immediate life?

It doesn’t.

The point I’m making is that to politicize death is natural. Not because, as Aristotle says, humans are “political animals,” but because we would rather justify whatever bias we already had about the person or phenomenon, rather than concentrate the blame on ourselves. If liberals really believe John McCain was instrumental in stifling inclusivity, a harbinger of this New Gilded Age, or a war hawk who led us to multiple destructive conflicts, where was that conversation or movement to oust him from his seat?

As far as I can see, he’s been in Washington for the past thirty years. Or, if conservatives really want to fix illegal immigration, their

“Politicizing death only serves to shift the onus away from your own reluctance to uphold your civic duty.”

The second was the tragic loss of Mollie Tibbets, a twenty-year old University of Iowa student, which was finally confirmed over the past two weeks. Rather than mourning the life of a human being, however, the focus of the controversy has been on how she died. Christian Rivera, an undocumented immigrant, has been charged with first-degree murder and his status has led to conservatives scrambling to wield it as a political weapon against immigration and promote Trumpism generally.

If you’re looking for an article that condemns liberals for panning the political career of an elder statesman, you’re looking at the wrong place. If you’re thinking, “Oh, then he’s going to condemn Trumpers for contorting the tragedy of Mollie Tibbets into a message of hate,” you should probably make your way to Tumblr or Reddit.

No, the subject of the article is you.

Be honest with yourself: you don’t care. Not about John McCain, not about Mollie Tibbets, not even about Donald Trump. To be a modern human, according to the immortal Shakespeare or French political theorist Benjamin Constant, is to be self-interested. Not necessarily selfish, but you care about yourself and your immediate concerns over those of people around you.

party is in complete control of the federal government and most of the state governments: where’s the supposed solution?

Politicizing death only serves to shift the onus away from your own reluctance to uphold your civic duty. Democracy hinges on the participation of the sovereign citizen and, sorry to inform you of this, commenting on the next Fox or CNN article that comes across your feed does not count.

The hard truth is that you want to complain but not act. You want to be right without proving it. We live in an America torn apart by the Baby Boomer generation, whose complacency led to a world worse for their own children. It will take extraordinary cognizance and a willingness to partake in the American political arena to remedy our parents’ and grandparents’ mistakes.

Instead of making memes and waiting for the next old politician of the opposite party to die, instead of waiting for the next life to be torn away too soon, rally; find and encourage the next politician who will represent your interests and vote for them.

Persuade through meaningful discourse and facts and challenge conventional norms.

You want to politicize death? Try politicizing yourself.

graphic by Conner Maggio Allotting a specific day off of work for citizens to vote will obstensibly increase voter turnout.

Election Day holiday vital for voter turnout

Tulsa Public Schools’ decision to make Election Day a holiday for its employees bodes well for the health of Tulsa’s democracy.

Nathan Hinkle Student Writer The Tulsa Public Schools Board is in the progress of making November 6, Election Day, a holiday for all employees. Through this policy, all school employees will be able to vote without worrying about finding time away from class. Tulsa Public School Board President Suzanne Schreiber said about the move, “It just gives them the opportunity to plan their day around voting and not getting crunched at school.” This plan is similar to ones taken across school districts in the United States, such as Yukon Public Schools (also in Oklahoma). This plan, I believe, should be a stepping stone toward a statewide policy in Oklahoma and the United States as a whole.

raising the count helps instill a truthful election.

However, a major cause of low voter turnout is the time required to vote. A Pew Research Center Report in 2014 asked 181 registered voters their reasons for not voting. The study would go on to find that 45 percent of participants in the study reported that they had schedule conflicts with work or school. While the number of participants is too low to be completely representative of the entire United States, it does show a common problem for working Americans. The inability to vote due to work is central to the problem of voter turnout. By creating some form of statewide holiday or policy, we can help promote voter participation by giving citizens the ability to vote when they were previously unable.

There is a similar precedent set for declaring election day a holiday in other countries across the globe. In India, their election day is a national holiday for both public and private employees. This allows everyone the opportunity to vote without the hassle of missing work. Israel follows a similar model where most citizens work in the mornings but are given the afternoon off to vote in their country’s elections. These two countries provide examples on how America can improve its own voter system.

While there may be subtle differences between American voting versus voting in other countries, the idea still remains the same.

In addition, a voting holiday would not only improve the ease of those currently unable

“Low voter turnout hinders the growth of fair elections and weakens our democracy...”

courtesy Wikimedia The death of former presidential candidate John McCain has sparked political debate over the validity of his political contributions.

Voter turnout in the past few years has been extremely low. According to the nonprofit organization VOTE, under 37 percent of all Americans voted in the previous 2014 midterm elections. In Oklahoma specifically, 30.4 percent of those eligible voted, ranking Oklahoma as the 44th of the 50 U.S. states in terms of voter turnout, including the District of Columbia. Low voter turnout is caused by a variety of issues, ranging from voter apathy to access to polling facilities. Low voter turnout hinders the growth of fair elections and weakens our democracy because it does not fully show the choice of every legal American citizen. While 100 percent voter turnout is an impossible task,

to vote but also citizens who are currently able to easily participate in the voting process. Allowing citizens the day off breaks the traffic at peak times, such as lunch, and allows people to spread themselves out over the available time frame.

Voting is the most important element of our democracy and we are weakening it by hindering eligible voters. By providing easier access to the voting booth, we both improve the people’s say in the government as well as promote civic responsibility. It promotes an evening playing field for all citizens rather than hindering those who are held back by their employment or financial resources.

The Collegian: 12

Variety

4 September 2018

New Olafur Arnalds album does not disappoint Using experiemental technology, Arnald’s new album is innovative and a break from the old in the best sort of way.

Naomi Dunn Student Writer

Released August 24, “re:member” is Icelandic composer Olafur Arnalds’s fourth studio album. Arnalds is an experimental composer whose compositions toe the line between classical and electronica. He seamlessly blends violins, cellos, piano, electronic percussion and synth. In one of his earliest LPs, he even incorporated a computer generated voice into a few songs (which I mainly mention because one of the songs, “Himininn Er Ao Hrynja, en Stjornurnar Fara Per Vel,” was also used as inspiration behind a Warrior Cats AMV on Youtube).

Arnalds’s work is often characterized by his simple, melancholic style. His music is slow and flowing, and it captivates the listener through delicate, yet powerful, emotive melodies. His style was used effectively to provide a unique, impactful score for the British murder-mystery series “Broadchurch,” of which Arnalds cinched a British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) award in 2014. His new album “re:member,” however, delineates from his usual style.

Arnalds explores new territories with

through the Stratus software to play a variety of other chords and notes on the Stratus pianos in somewhat random patterns. (The exact technology is a bit beyond my understanding, although you can hear more about the process on Arnalds’ YouTube.)

Stratus was first created to expedite Arnalds’s creative process and allow for greater variety in his music. “It’s like playing jazz improvisation almost,” he said in one of the behind-the-scenes videos posted on YouTube. The variety provided by Status allowed him to consider new possibilities and directions when writing his music instead of sticking to the familiar. Status also influenced the album beyond providing new ideas for the songwriting process. Its dreamy raindrops sounds also feature in a majority of the songs.

Stylistically, Arnalds uses “re:member” to take a step away from his usual, morose sound and instead experiment with more upbeat, poppier sounds. Throughout the creation of the album, Arnalds said that he realized, “I don’t have to be trying to fit into some kind of box I never put myself in.” He let “re:member” sound more energetic because he wanted to be able reflect the music he listens to — hip-hop, breakbeat and other composers — instead of being limited to his past sound.

To those unfamiliar with Arnalds, the songs on “re:member” might not feel especially jubilant, but compared to his past

“The final song, “nyepi,” is another perfect blend of old and new Olafur.” “re:member,” through both the creative process of the album and the musical style itself. “Re:member” is Arnalds’s first album to incorporate Stratus, a musical technology that Arnalds and audio developer Halldór Eldjárn collaborated together to create “semi generative, self playing pianos,” also known as the Stratus pianos. The software works by receiving the notes that Arnalds plays on one piano and translates them

works, many of the tracks have a liveliness to them that previous tracks lack.

The titular track “re:member” is one of the longest on the album, lasting a total of six minutes and five seconds. It works well as a transition to the album and introduction into the new sound. The beginning starts off slow, like a typical Olafur Arnalds song, with soft piano and gentle strings. Halfway through, Stratus breaks in with its tinkling, rain-like notes. The music feels like it’s run-

courtesy Olafur Arnalds

ning forward into a new season that is bright and blooming. At the very end, all the music stops, leaving only a watery echo and a hopeful, optimistic finish.

This is not to say that “re:member” is a complete departure off of Arnalds’s original sound, more like a step or two in a different direction. In fact, several of the tracks on the album have strong similarities with his older works. “Saman” and “momentary” feel like they could have come from the collection “Living Room Songs.” The songs are both quite simplistic and so still that you can hear the sound of the pedals of the piano and the static of the room. I love it. Arnalds’s music doesn’t make you feel deeply depressed or extremely jovial; it makes you feel present.

You feel present and aware of yourself, your place, and your less-exciting midrange emotions: passive, calm, slightly regretful and nostalgic.

Other incredible tracks on the album include “inconsist,” another upbeat track that blends positive, fast-paced percussion and

strings with Stratus’s airy chords. My personal favorite is “ypsilon,” which blends the organic physicality of the strings and piano with electronic sounds and synth that sound so clean and stark against the surrounding music that they feel alien.

The final song, “nyepi,” is another perfect blend of old and new Olafur. Instead of transitioning between slow and fast, reflection and moving-forward, it combines the two. The jingling Stratus keys, used so often in the album to create brightness, are interwoven with a mournful instrumental.

There can’t always be happiness, but there can still be beauty even in sadness and even in ending. What I think is the most interesting about the final track is that after the music stops there’s still another 15 seconds of silence before the song — and album — finally come to an end. I like to think that space was left there so you as the listener could take a few seconds to rest in the silence and feel grounded and present in your current state. I know it does for me.

photo by Lizzy Young

The Gathering Place offers something for everyone A student writer takes us on a tour of a corner of the soon-to-open park.

Lizzy Young Student Writer With everything from playgrounds to bike paths and a boathouse, the Gathering Place is Tulsa’s most exciting new attraction. Encompassing nearly 100 acres along the Arkansas River, this park has something for everyone. Everywhere you turn, there is something to see and explore.

The George Kaiser Family Foundation was the driving force behind this park, and they have created a beautiful park

Boathouse. The upper level of the boathouse overlooks the pond. The spacious deck looks like it could be on a beautiful lake. One can sit out on the deck and enjoy the panoramic views the park affords.

Across the pond is Adventure Playground. This playground is an imaginative wonder. Children and adults can spend hours exploring this unique playground equipment. There are tall towers, huge slides, rope bridges and animal shaped playground equipment. I was amazed by all of the whimsical playground equipment.

On the other side of the playground is Williams Lodge. This stunning lodge looks like it belongs in the mountains. Full of cozy furniture, wood, a huge fireplace and

movies, and Swing Hill is supposed to provide many swings with beautiful views of Tulsa. In the middle, there is the Four Seasons Garden and Sky Garden that are supposed to contain regional plants. For those who enjoy sports, there is a bike park, a Skate Bowl and Sports Courts. There truly is something for everyone.

The Gathering Place officially opens September 8 with a performance by the Roots on the Great Lawn that evening. This kicks off 100 days of fun at the park for its grand opening. Since it is only a few miles from TU, TU students should take advantage of the fun and beauty this park has to offer.

“Although there were hundreds of other people... the design made me feel like there were not many people there.” for the Tulsa community to enjoy. Construction officially began four long years ago.

This outdoor experience unlike any other in Tulsa was definitely worth the wait. There are so many exciting things to see that one visit is not enough to see everything.

Walking into the park, I was surprised by the magnitude of it. This space is truly like no park I have ever seen. The first thing I noticed was Peggy’s Pond. There were walking paths surrounding the pond with beautiful landscaping. When the park officially opens, there will be canoes and paddle boats for rent on the pond at ONEOK

floor-to-ceiling windows through which one can overlook the park, this lodge is the perfect place to curl up with a good book in any season.

The layout of the Gathering Place, with all of its windy paths to the different attractions, spreads out the crowds. Although there were hundreds of other people at the park, the design made me feel like there were not many people there.

I only made it through a corner of the park, but I was astounded by everything I saw. Some other things I am interested in seeing are the Great Lawn for events or

photo by Lizzy Young

Variety

4 Septemer 2018

The Collegian: 13

Coffee shops to get your study on Our Variety editor takes us on a tour of the different coffee shops in Tulsa and what to expect from them.

Emma Palmer Variety Editor Name: Coffee House On Cherry Street (aka CHOCS).

Where is it: As the name suggests, CHOCS is located directly off of Cherry Street.

What should I order: While the coffee itself is mediocre, the cake is the size of my face, so that’s a plus, and the yogurt is good.

General vibe: Hippie garage sale.

Recommended for: Any white person who has gone on a trip to India to have their Chakras realigned.

Fake person who would study there: Lindsey Bluth from “Arrested Development.”

Name: Double Shot.

Where is it: Downtown Tulsa.

What should I order:: Heaven help you if you order anything other than a Black Coffee. If you ask for a vanilla latte, they will ask you to leave.

General vibe: Quiet. People are here for two reasons: 1. To get stuff done; 2. Drink coffee.

Recommended for: The equivalent of “Star Wars” fanboys, but for coffee.

Fake person who would study there: Sherlock Holmes.

Name: Gypsy.

Where is it:In the Tulsa Arts District.

What should I order:The Italian sodas stand out as a favorite.

General vibe: Filled with edgy teens and old people trying to stay relevant, there is a room in the back that is always filled with people vaping. Bring your Juuls.

Recommended for: High schoolers who mosh. Anyone who has written slam poetry, and doesn’t mind that the location’s name is a slur against the Romani people.

Fake person who would study there: Sid from “Toy Story.”

Scott Pilgrim from “Scott Pilgrim vs The World”.

Name:: Shades of Brown.

Where is it: Right off of Brookside.

What should I order:: Any of their specialty drinks are good.

General vibe: Less of a place to study and more of a place to catch up with friends, Shades is comfortably small with a nice back room for studying.

Recommended for: The college student who misses ‘90s grunge and wishes it would come back.

Fake person who would study there: Penny Lane from “Almost Famous”; any Wes Anderson character.

Name: Foolish Things Coffee.

Where is it: Downtown Tulsa.

What should I order:: The Rosewater lemonade and Grapefruit brulees are favorites.

General vibe:: With sunny windows and large tables, Foolish Things is a personal favorite study space.

Recommended for: People looking for a study environment that’s quiet enough to get stuff done but friendly enough to where you might run into someone you know.

Fake person who would study there: Velma from “Scooby-Doo.”

courtesy Cirque

Name: Cirque.

Where is it: The Pearl District.

What should I order:: The nitro draft latte is actually pretty good.

General vibe: Wood grain on everything.

A nice aesthetic but extremely uncomfortable.

Recommended for: The type of hipster who wears both a man bun and a mustache.

Fake person who would study there:

A eulogy for Moviepass While a beautiful thing, Moviepass was doomed from the start.

Jourdon White Student Writer Summer is a great time to relax and hang out with friends and loved ones. A great staple of the summer is going out to see the lineup of blockbusters. Over the break, I was given the opportunity to use a service called MoviePass. For those unfamiliar, MoviePass is a service in which you paid a flat fee and were able to see movies. It originally functioned somewhat like Netflix. You received a MoviePass card, picked your show and showtime and paid with your MoviePass card. It seemed like the next step when it came to movie watching.

A friend of mine was out of the country for a period this summer and let me use their MoviePass account. I was told that with MoviePass I could see any movie in theaters and the only charge was a monthly fee of $9.99. I initially had two thoughts.

1: $10 a month to see any movie — this is crazy! And 2: How in the world are they making any money? Most movie tickets nowadays tend to cost around $10–$15 during primetime showings. My gut and simple math told me this whole operation was fishy and that I should probably not use it. The other half was excited at the notion of seeing blockbusters for free. With an initial limit of one movie per day, I was content. A friend and I would go see movies weekly, and I saw some movies this summer that I never would have had the chance to see otherwise.

Sadly, but to no one’s surprise, the value of this service from the start meant that its writing was on the wall. The red flags started off small. Instead of seeing any movie an unlimited amount of times, you were only allowed to see a movie once with MoviePass. If you wanted to see a movie again, you couldn’t, which was a bummer for repeat viewings of movies, but never affected me too much. Then it was having to take pictures of ticket stubs. The largest sign of the company’s downfall, though, was the introduction of surge pricing. Say a movie was going to be popular to see —

courtesty Chimera

Name: Chimera.

Where is it: The Tulsa Arts District.

What should I order: Chimera brands itself as a coffee shop, but their sandwiches are legendary.

General vibe: There is minimal seating for studying, but it’s a good place to meet a friend for lunch.

Recommended for: They have good gluten free/vegan/vegetarian options, so if you are looking for a good sandwich to accommodate your lifestyle, Chimera is the place for you.

Fake person who would study there: Jenna Maroney from “30 Rock.”

courtesy Fair Fellow Coffee

Name: Fair Fellow Coffee.

Where is it: Kendall Whittier Square.

What should I order: I hear they have nitro cold brew now, so I’d go for that.

General vibe: Quiet and sunny, Fair Fellow feels like a well furnished studio apartment that was originally a warehouse.

Recommended for:: The artsy student, or anyone really. They’re pretty friendly.

Fake person who would study there: Peter Parker.

General vibe: Usually there are a decent amount of TU folks, nice tables and adequate seating.

Recommended for: In terms of convenience, 918 is the closest to campus, so if you are itching to get away from McFarlin, 918 is a good alternative.

Fake person who would study there: : Elliot from “Mr. Robot.”

MoviePass would then charge an extra fee on top of your subscription for the sale of a ticket. It was a last-ditch effort in my eyes to try and save a company that was bleeding green.

Disaster struck in late July when my friend was going to see the new “Mission: Impossible” movie and told me MoviePass ran out of money. I was initially shocked but ultimately not surprised. “Mission Impossible: Fallout” was almost Impossible (see what I did there?) to see during its release weekend. This was the final nail in the coffin for many people. Most users jumped ship at that point. MoviePass’s stock began to crash, and MoviePass suffered huge losses.

They’ve tweaked their program so now you can only see three shows in one month for $9.99, which is almost laughable when you put it next to their initial prospect.

MoviePass was fun while it lasted.

I got to see movies I had no plans on seeing because it was somewhat free. Some movies surprised me and some disappointed, but they were experiences nonetheless. Some of my more memorable movie experiences over the summer include seeing “Solo” (an actually decent Star Wars story), “Ocean’s Eight” (though filled with problems, it wasn’t as terrible as I thought it would be) and “Sorry to Bother You” (still one of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen — if you ever plan to see it, go in uninformed and with an open mind).This movie was cool, woke, and crazy. In that order.

MoviePass was great, and it’s a shame they couldn’t keep up with their deals. I am sure in the future there will be more paid services that will seek to imitate what MoviePass offered. AMC Theaters has already created its own MoviePass-like subscription program, which gives the user access to any of their movies for a flat monthly fee. If anything, MoviePass will probably be remembered as the failure that inspired many other services for movies. The future of moviegoing could be somewhat based on MoviePass’s original model. Only time will tell at this point.

courtesy Tulsa World

Name: 918 Coffee.

Where is it: Right off of 11th, within walking distance of campus.

What should I order:: I hear their vegan options are really yummy.

Name: Hodges Bend.

Where is itThe Pearl District.

What should I order:: Hodges doubles as a bar, so, you know, alcoholic coffee.

General vibe: Very posh.

Recommended for:Hodges Bend is open till 1:30 a.m., so it’s the perfect spot for a date or the occasional late night study sesh.

Fake person who would study there: Don Draper from “Mad Men.”

A few books to brighten your day Local bookworm Tori Gellman returns to The Collegian with more book recommendations.

Tori Gellman Student Writer If you’re feeling ORDINARY: “All My Friends are Superheroes” by Andrew Kaufman In this short and charming novel, readers become invested in Tom and his wife, The Perfectionist, who, immediately following their nuptial vows, is no longer able to see her husband. The length of a plane ride to Canada is all Tom has left to get The Perfectionist to see him, or she’ll never be able to again. With a delightful myriad of characters and a knack for tapping into something within all of us, Andrew Kaufman’s superpower is taking the seemingly ordinary quirks of everyday people and turning them into powerful skills that constitute a name and a cape

If you’re feeling LOST “Imagine Wanting Only This” by Kristen Radtke We all have those things in our lives that take up more of our time and thoughts than other people realize. For Kristen Radtke, it’s ruins and the aftermath of destruction.

Following the death of her uncle, Radtke decides to stop avoiding her fascination with upheaval and instead dives headfirst into exploring the universal truths that destruction and shambles give us. In an interesting blend of mediums and genres, “Imagine Wanting Only This” provides a darkly poetic look into the therapeutic power amongst the rubble of what gets left behind.

courtesty Pantheon Graphic Library courtesty Telegram Books

“... Kaufman’s superpower is taking the seemingly ordinary quirks... and turning them into powerful skills...”

The Collegian: 14

Quiz: how much debt you gonna have?

A 100 percent accurate calculation for how deep of a hole you are digging.

Brennen Gray Bounty Hunter Where did you sleep?

1. Lol, sleep?

2. Couch surfing in dorm lobbies 3. Off-campus housing 4. I bought a house 5. On-campus housing What meal plan did you purchase?

1. Only the scraps left after RA programs 2. Ramen 3. Fast food 4. Fancy restaurant seven days a week 5. Standard campus meal plan Where did you buy your textbooks?

1. Bought none 2. Online PDF 3. Amazon 4. Rented used 5. Campus bookstore What items did you stress-buy on eBay during finals week?

1. Pet fish 2. Complete DVD collection of “Game of Thrones” 3. Diamond-encrusted anything 4. Literally a hurricane made of gold 5. The TU football team

The State-Run Media

4 September 2018

Top 10 best secret clubs to join on campus Number 9 will surprise you!

Jourdon White Secret Club Enthusiast Here at TU, there are tons and tons of clubs and organizations to get involved in, many of which you already saw at the activities fair. But there are many clubs you may not know about. Here at the State-Run Media, we have compiled a list of the coolest 10 clubs that you may not have heard of.

Here is our recommended list: 1. TU Hammock Club Do you have a hammock? Do you like it when other people know you have a hammock? Join the club where you can kick back and relax for hours between two trees.

Meetings are on nice and sunny days, usually in the trees by McFarlin or between Kendall and Hardesty.

2. John Cena Legacy Club This is the hardest club to join, as many members have taken on John Cena’s invisibility. You can usually hear his theme song in the background when someone from this club is near. Meetings are Monday nights at 8 p.m., in order to watch WWE RAW. 3. The “Harwell Field, Right In Front Of The Tennis Court Is A Great Place To Make Out” Club or HFRIFOTTCIAGPTMO for short.

Yes. We all see you. Meetings are at Harwell for the most visibility.

4. The Secret Cat Society The Head of the Secret Cat Society has this to say about the organization: “Meow meow, meow meow meow meow. Meow, meow, mew.”

Meetings are at McFarlin at Meow o’clock. Please bring fish.

5. The Anti-Social-Social Club Join the club where people can be antisocial, together. Proceed to not look people in the eyes and awkwardIy dance around small talk before never talking to said person again. Truth be told, I really don’t know much else about this club, but I see people with tons of these shirts on. It doesn’t really make sense for an anti-social club though.

Meetings are somewhere on campus I think.

They only meet once a year because, well … you know.

6. A Group of Tortured Artists Do people not understand you? Do your friends just disappoint you? Do corporate shills demean your art because its too scatterbrained or too edgy? Join the Tortured Artists. They claim they are the only ones on campus left with a brain. Join other individuals who think they have any artistic talent but are really just jerks. Strive to make better and more real art. Constructive criticism has no place here. Now for a haiku of the meeting times: Meetings for the club Chapman Hall and Phillips too…

When they feel like it.

7. The Busking for Hearts Club The club that enjoys playing music for people with just a simple guitar or other weird quirky instrument. Performance is key to getting better at music, so what about playing in front of other people? Remember, though, to only ever play at parties or social events so people will be amazed at how many four-chord songs you know. Want to eternally be remembered as “that person

who would not stop playing ‘I’m Yours’ at a small get together”? Meetings are at your friend’s parties, and only an acoustic guitar or some quirky instrument (melodica, harmonica, accordion) is required.

8. The Engi-Neener-neeners Are you enrolled in some form of engineering? Is your superiority complex larger than the observable universe? Do you want all the other puny colleges to know how smart you are? Then this is the club for you. Find like-minded individuals and assert your technical dominance over the rest of the colleges, because who could possibly make any money doing anything else?

Meetings are in Kep, but the date and time I was given was in the form of a ridiculous math problem that I couldn’t solve in five seconds.

9. College Young Anarchists A little bit ironic, but yes, we have an Anarchist club apparently. I couldn’t get any info about the CYA as they only screamed at me that “college is a communist system” and that “newspapers only spread fascist propaganda!” Meetings are during your classes. To join, “The Man” can’t keep you down. Uhh, join the Anarchist club, I guess?

10. The Singles Club All the single ladies, and all the single guys! Are you looking to complain about your singleness while not actually putting forth any effort to try and remedy it? Join the Singles Club! Talk to other single individuals about how hard it is for you to get a significant other, even though you really haven’t tried very hard. Meetings are on Friday nights because it’s not like you had any plans.

What dumbass thing did you get fined for?

1. Locked out of dorm room 2. Lost ID 3. Parking fine 4. Lost key 5. Tuition How do you plan on making your income?

-0. Work Study -1. Hair -2. Plasma -3. Dog-breeding -4. Paid internship -5 Bounty hunting BONUS LEVEL: How many trips to Tacos Don, Whataburger or Panda did you make a month?

1. 1–5 2. 6–10 3. 11–15 4. 16–20 5. 21–25 6. 26+ Final Score: Add up all your numbers!

0–5 ($0 – $20,000) How did you do that???

6–10 ($20,000 – $50,000) You’ll pay it off (probably?).

11–15 ($50,000 – $90,000) Food is overrated, am I right?

16–20 ($90,000 – $140,000) I hope you majored in Petroleum.

21–25 ($140,000 – $200,000) R.I.P. You have no chance of paying it off before you die.

26+ National Average. I would put an infinity sign here, but I can’t afford it.

A group from A Group of Tortured Artists tortured by art.

graphic by Conner Maggio

What’s the deal with all these holes?

Holes, secret tunnels and clones of a beloved golden retriever are all strings in TU’s web of lies.

Sara Serrano Awaiting the 2.0 Series If you haven’t seen or fallen into one yet, it might interest you to know that several holes have recently opened up around campus grounds. Currently, sources report one by the Caf, another by Lorton Hall and a couple more in the Old U. Surrounded by equipment and often construction workers, common sense might lead you to believe that the university is simply repairing pipes or power lines. But that’s just what they want you to think.

According to one extremely well-informed source, these holes are a part of something much bigger.

What TU doesn’t want you to see: Goldie clones traveling via the hidden tunnels outside Physical Plant.

“Very few people know this, but there’s this secret system of tunnels right under TU, connecting almost every building,” says anthropology major Ricky Reeves (a fake name given to him for his protection).

“They were originally built during the Cold War as bomb shelters, but when that threat was gone, their purpose changed.”

Reeves alleges that the tunnels are now used to smuggle the several Goldie clones around campus.

“Obviously they don’t want students to know about the clones, and nothing would give that away like seeing Goldie 1.1 and Goldie 1.3 cross paths on campus,” Reeves explains, “Thus, the clever folk at administration decided to put those old tunnels to work. So while Goldie 1.7 is being pet outside Collins, the others Goldies — the exact number of clones is unknown — can be moved through the tunnel system to appear at other places simultaneously.”

So these holes are indeed being dug for maintenance, but more specifically to repair the secret tunnels that have fallen into disrepair.

“You’ve got to remember that these were built in the ‘50s. They’ve been falling apart for years, but they hadn’t thought to fix them up until a tunnel collapse killed Goldie 1.1,” Reeves recalls, eyes welling slightly, adding, “Clones really freak me out, but those monsters let a poor dog die due to their negligence. I’m honestly disgusted.”

While this news may shock and horrify you, it is crucial that you don’t try to poke around or go near these holes. Who knows what lengths administration will go to keep this a secret.

graphic by Conner Maggio

4 September 2018

The State-Run Media

Goldie to be replaced by three dogs in trench coat Being TU’s canine ambassador is a ruff business.

Jourdon White Team Gol-gi The State-Run Media has come across some hard hitting news and information for generations, but we fear this info could rock campus as we know it. We have received comments and information from a certain source who shall not be named that, in an effort to increase TU’s cuteness meter, Goldie, our beloved Canine Ambassador and unofficial mascot, will be replaced by a group of three dogs in a trenchcoat. This comes as sad news to many.

We reached out to TU’s Department of Cuteness and talked to Vice Chair Leah Dorable for questions. When asked what prompted the change, she simply stated, “Goldie is great, but it’s time to move on.

Statistics show that three smaller dogs are way cuter than just one really cute dog.”

When asked why all three dogs needed to be piled in a trenchcoat, she refused to give a concrete answer — but firmly stated, “Three. Dogs.” — before we were asked to leave.

According to our sources, the search for replacement dogs is already in full swing.

The judge lineup consists of esteemed alumni, faculty and members of the Student As-

sociation. Some of the dogs that are still being considered to replace Goldie for the part are: Bone the beagle, Fifi the pomeranian and, looking like a solid candidate for the update, Goldie’s nephew who is part Corgi.

The judges have affectionately started calling him, “Gol-gi.” State-Run writers confirm that he is indeed adorable and quite a good boy.

When State-Run reporters asked Goldie about the replacement, she seemed upbeat and positive and was looking forward to retirement. She states that she loves people and big open spaces and is excited to run around in dog parks, but she still plans on coming through TU’s lovely campus every now and again to greet students and faculty.

On her nephew possibly taking the lead on the new mantle of Canine Ambassador, she seemed happy for him and excited for what the future may hold for him and his teammates. When asked who’s a good girl, she excitedly wagged her tail and gave a bark to us, confirming that yes indeed, she was a good girl.

It seems to be the end of an era. Goldie will continue this season, but according to plans, at the end of the year, Goldie will retire, and the new trenchcoat lineup will be present around campus and at sporting events. We can expect the new lineup to be chosen by late fall. I, for one, am excited to see what Goldie does in her retirement and what these new pups bring to the table.

graphic by Conner Maggio Ricky-Three-Dog Capone is one of the finalists to be TU’s new canine ambassador.

McFarlin WET with anticipation Beautifying campus one fountain at a time.

James Terrell Fountain Fanatic

graphic by Conner Maggio New couple Bill and Lucinda bring life to an otherwise dead event on their date.

Cheap dates for cheapskates

Never worry about money again with these hot date ideas.

Madison Connell Head Propagandist Stuck in a rut with bae? Wanting to impress that cutie in your intro class? Get the biggest bang for your buck with State-Run’s best date ideas on and around campus.

Bring your date along for your required community service: Show off your love of the environment by mandatorily picking up trash on the side of the road. If you find any food, feel free to show your spontaneous side and throw an impromptu picnic!

Take your girl out to a decadent meal at the Caf: What’s better than free food? Free food at the Caf. Sit in on a lecture in Kep: Keep the chemistry alive and listen in on an organic chemistry lecture. Understand nothing?

Even better. People love it when you make them feel stupid.

Play the silent game: What is more romantic than lovingly staring into each other’s eyes for three hours?

Take a stroll around campus: Admire the lovely construction scenery as you search for a sidewalk that is still usable to walk along.

Visit the Center of the Universe: Impress your date with your knowledge that

Tulsa is secretly the most important place in the universe, and therefore, the center of the universe is in fact here. Spend a few hours standing in a tiny circular spot downtown, just listening to your own voice.

Watch a football game: Win the heart of your date by watching our winning team.

Window shop at Utica Square: Remind your date of how poor you are by buying nothing at the most expensive shopping center in Tulsa.

Participate in a psychology experiment: Why wait to find out their deep psychological issues when you can learn them on day one?

FaceTime your parents: Show how committed you are to this new relationship by introducing them to your parents early on.

Double date with your ex: Spare the awkwardness of inevitably running into your ex in public by planning a double date with them! This way, you can plan to put on your waterproof mascara and remember to pack the Xanax.

Plan your future wedding: Set their standards high now by planning an elaborate wedding. Three carat diamond ring?

Sure. Riding in on a white steed? Of course.

A wedding on top of the Eiffel Tower? Why not.

Crash a random funeral: Nothing turns a girl on more than the sense of impending death.

State Run Media has been granted an exclusive preview for TU’s upcoming fountain on top of the McFarlin Library. Students and teachers alike have been criticizing alleged the land of learning for its lack of elegance.

Many have gone on the record stating that a fountain is truly the only way to define beauty and that the addition is extremely needed. “Sure, architecture is cool,” junior graphic designer Tammy Wallace commented, “but does it have a fountain?”

While most will not be able to see the fountain, measuring at an incredible threefeet tall, sophomore mechanical engineer Richard Tyral simply said, “It’s knowing that it’s there that makes the difference.”

The fountain is said to resemble the Harvey Statue inside the library, only it will have a fountain spouting out of the top of its head.

The fountain is dedicated to students’ hard work and represents unreachable goals that can only be found when climbing up the side of a library.

The head engineer of the operation, Maggie Mural, explained to State Run Media why the school would put a fountain on top of the library. “This is the University of Tulsa. We’re already at the top of our game, with an incredible sports team and an over-

flowing enrollment rate. Fountains are the only way to maintain that momentum. Plus, what were we going to use that money for anyway? Better cafeteria food?”

The fountain is said to cost the University of Tulsa $5 million. This would be an increase to the amount spent on the Hardesty fountain, which was a mere million. “Go big or go home,” Mural explained.

There is also talk of placing more fountains like this on top of various other buildings, such as the Lorton Performance Center and the Student Union. In theme with McFarlin’s fountain, these will also be unseeable unless one climbs to the top of the building. When asked why, Mural responded, “Why not?”

While many are extremely excited, some students have already raised concern that the piping of the fountains is not logistically possible. Mural was quick to defend the fountain. “The pipes will run through both of the study areas in the library. The flow of water might actually be relaxing to some.

Besides, it’s not like anyone uses them anyway.”

Others are questioning the financial use of creating a fountain that almost no one can see. Mural states that people who keep sending these complaints are a bunch of “noodleheads” and to stop sending her emails, because she only uses Snapchat.

Plans for the fountain are still being written up, but it is said to break ground as soon as renovations for LaFortune occur.

graphic by Conner Maggio McFarlin wet and wild, set to premiere as soon as you pay back your student loans.