10 April 2017

a student newspaper of the university of tulsa

SA candidates share their platforms, p 4-5

New York Times covers public schools in Tulsa, ignores financial discrepancy, p 11

april 10, 2017 issue 23 ~ volume 102

AIS hosts creative performances for “World Icons� International Night, p 13 graphic by Madeline Woods

The Collegian: 2

News

10 April 2017

Panel discusses HIV history, current state in world and Okla.

Pride, HeadStrong, United Campus Ministry and TU’s Women and Gender Studies program held the event in response to the presidential election and its potential effects on healthcare.

Grace McFee Student Writer In light of this year’s shift in presidential regimes and that shift’s potential effects on healthcare, a panel to discuss the cultural and historical ramifications of HIV/AIDS, as well as the current state of the virus, was held last Thursday. This event was hosted

by Pride and cosponsored by HeadStrong: Student Advocates for Mental Health, United Campus Ministry at the University of Tulsa and University of Tulsa Women’s and Gender Studies Program. Panelists included Dr. Jan Wilson, history and WGS professor at the University of Tulsa; Samantha Young, clinic and outreach specialist at Hope Testing; Alyssia Hurt, care coordinator at Tulsa Cares; and Kate Neary, CEO of Tulsa Cares.

The forum first addressed the history of the virus, elaborated on by Wilson, who said “HIV originated as early as the beginning of the 20th century and spread as populations became more urban, though it did not have much recognized presence until the 1980s.”

Because it originally seemed to spread most quickly among gay men, AIDS “was considered a ‘gay’ disease … and the general population didn’t see it as their problem,” noted Wilson.

She went on to say that “at the time, people were dropping in the streets and it seemed like the government just didn’t care … the only reason there was access to information about the disease in those early years at all was due to the tremendous activism of grassroots groups.” President Reagan didn’t even mention the word AIDS until 1986 and, when he finally did, “he focused on the ‘innocent victims’ of blood transfusions and affected children rather than on those who had contracted the disease due to what he perceived as ‘immoral actions,’” continued Wilson.

The panel quickly moved on to the cultural ramifications of the AIDS crisis when

Neary argued that “stereotypes around HIV have dominated the conversation.” Young furthered that point when she pointed out that “we use the word ‘clean’ to say we don’t have diseases, which is steeped in stigma … people with diseases aren’t dirty.”

Hurt said that there is a “ridiculous fear of the virus, even today, when people are uneducated about it.” Though the stereotypes surrounding the virus are completely unfounded, Neary noted that “there are biological and sociological issues that can put certain groups more at risk for HIV, which is absolutely heartbreaking because absolutely anyone can contract it … it all depends on access to information and prevention resources, not a specific demographic.”

The discussion then moved onto the current state of HIV/AIDS in the world and specifically within Oklahoma. “AIDS is now considered a chronic illness rather than a terminal illness, which is a big step forward,” said Hurt. Treatment as prevention, which refers to the fact that when HIV is treated adequately, the odds of transmission are reduced to almost zero, “has made a huge impact on a global scale,” said Young.

Unfortunately, “it’s particularly disconcerting that more conservative states defund and are in denial of prevention and education efforts,” said Neary.

Wilson, in consideration of the new political arrangement, agreed by stating: “the direction I feel we’re moving is catastrophic.” Speaking about Oklahoma in particular, Neary commented that “we all know this state is a little slow in accepting what people actually do in their lives … we’re second in the nation for teen pregnancy … and in some schools I’m not even allowed to say the word condom, which is insane.” Hurt pointed out that clearly the abstinence-based education isn’t working to prevent teenagers from contracting STIs. At the conclusion of the panel, Young urged the audience to speak up and make a difference. “Talk about sex … make it less uncomfortable … it’s completely normal and it should be normal.” Neary ended the panel on an uplifting note, saying that “even in a place like Oklahoma, where it’s easy to become frustrated, we’ve come an incredibly long way.”

NO. 1 IN THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA HIGHEST RANKING EVER ACHIEVED

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Blakely Advocacy Institute The University of Oklahoma is an equal opportunity institution. www.ou.edu/eoo

News

10 April 2017

The Collegian: 3

TU rep met success, confrontation at recent OSGA Congress Student Colleen Yoder proposed a successful resolution and caused a minor stir with routine amendment proposals at the recent OSGA Congress.

Kayleigh Thesenvitz Social Media Manager The Oklahoma Student Government Association is a statewide organization that holds regular meetings once a semester for colleges and universities from around the state. TU sent Colleen Yoder, Kelly Scrivner, Saswat Das, Sheridan Nolen, Haley Anderson and Kaitlyn McKee to this year’s Congress. Many of the representatives only attended one out of the two days: March 24 and 25.

The purpose of the event is for student leaders from the several attending schools to discuss common issues that they are having on their campuses. There are senate hearings over proposed legislation on the first day and then senate voting and amending on the second. Resolutions that are passed

by OSGA are passed up to Oklahoma state legislators who then propose laws based on OSGA suggestions.

Two TU representatives proposed resolutions; however, Yoder’s was the only one to make it to the floor for a vote. Yoder’s proposal focused on developmental classes which are required for students who score poorly on pre-college testing or need remedial assistance.

Yoder was hearing from students that these classes were helpful for the first couple of weeks, but after that the class was no longer useful and was a waste of their semester. Their concerns were made greater by the fact that the courses were mandatory and they were paying regular tuition price for them, but they would not receive course credit.

She explained that this is a particularly significant issue for returning students because it could persuade them not to return.

“They have to spend a whole year trying to get caught up before they can start taking

concluding that developmental courses should be given as a concurrently requisite subset, “almost like how we do labs for Calc 2.”

“You have your main class, and then you go to lab, which is a little bit smaller of a group where you can have one on one interaction, ask questions and make sure that you’re keeping up to date. It’s the same idea for these classes, but they would go into their first level English classes and then once or twice a week they would meet outside of that class time with a TA or professor to make sure that they are able to keep up with the classes’ natural progression,” she explained.

By incorporating the courses in this way, Yoder hopes to alleviate the problem of students not receiving credit when they first go into college. Yoder’s resolution passed 40 to 2 with 7 abstentions, “so it passed by a wide margin which was really awesome to watch happen,” she enthused.

Nolen also wrote a proposal; however, it didn’t make it to the floor. “We don’t get to

… It’s very specific funding, it’s never for classes or for our campus. It’s essentially as if they were contracting with a private company.”

“The easiest way I can break it down in my mind is that it is the difference between the state not being able to come into your home and say you have to cook dinner at five or that you can’t play loud music after nine within your home, but they do have that right when it comes to a public park,” she added.

Yoder related that “any of the bills I tried to make this amendment to, it wasn’t that I disagreed with their sentiment. They were all really great bills I feel, but the difference between public and private needs to be established.”

Yoder also responded to remarks about TU’s presence at OSGA given that any actions that state takes would not apply to us. “We attend OSGA because we want to support higher education in general,” she said. “I think it’s important to support our colleagues in other universities and colleges

“Yoder was also told by an unidentified student from TCC that TU should stop coming to OSGA if they don’t want OSGA resolutions to apply to them.” talk about all the bills that we write sometimes, just because there are so many,” Yoder said. “I’m encouraging her to resubmit it in the fall, so we’ll see,” she added.

The controversy Yoder faced was not with her proposal, but with routine amendments she requested the OSGA members make to other resolutions that were proposed.

“Historically everyone has understood that public and private are very different entities,” Yoder said. Because of this distinction, Yoder requested that OSGA change the language on some bills that said “all” or “every” college and university to “public” colleges and universities.

Her proposal received mixed reactions from those in attendance. Naomi Roman, an RSU student, shared her apprehension with Yoder’s opposition to having these potential rules apply on her campus.

Roman highlighted one resolution in par-

courtesy Wikimedia Commons The Oklahoma State Capitol, where state legislators can propose laws based on the OSGA legislation.

their actual classes,” she said.

Yoder researched effective ways to conduct developmental courses and ended up

menting trigger warnings on class syllabi for students impacted with PTSD and other mental disorders. The measure passed with added language that it be implemented as a state-wide policy.

During the amendment period Yoder came forward and asked that the wording be changed to specify public institutions. During this period Yoder was open to questioning by everyone else in attendance.

While describing the situation Roman said, “We ran out of questions and we were getting really into it. Not really talking about the bill itself anymore, but trying to figure out why she wanted to do it for just public universities.”

“We thought that this bill would be great for all universities, so we had no idea why she didn’t want this in her own school,” Roman explained.

“There are certain schools who don’t show up to these conferences at all, there are some private schools that don’t show up, and I feel like Yoder wanted to take it upon herself to vote for the other private schools

ticular where she felt Yoder’s amendment was unwarranted. The resolution, written by Traeton Dansby of NSU, proposed imple-

that weren’t there, but she’s a rep from [TU] so she should only be voting for [TU]. At least that’s my understanding of it,” Roman continued.

During the Q&A period which focused on Yoder’s amendments, she was reportedly asked by a student from NSU, “Well why are you even here then?”

Yoder was also told by an unidentified student from TCC that TU should stop coming to OSGA if they don’t want OSGA resolutions to apply to them.

Yoder’s response to these challenges was to emphasize the distinction between public and private schools. Yoder felt it was important to emphasize this as one of only two Oklahoma private schools in attendance, the other being St. Gregory.

“It’s really hard for public institutions to understand that not everything applies to private institutions, and that we are unique in that way,” Yoder said.

This isn’t a particularly new thing for the TU representative to the OSGA to express concern about. “A couple years back, it’s forever burned in my memory, Michael Mancini (SA President 2014-2015) wrote a bill for OSGA that essentially said we were against a bill that said private universities had to have rules regarding guns on campus,” Yoder reported.

Yoder expressed that the bill wasn’t a bad idea — “in fact it is a great idea. TU already has [policies regarding guns] in place because it’s a very logical thing to do, but what we were standing against is that the state has no right to come into these private institutions and tell us how to run things.”

Yoder explained that the board of regents who oversees higher education in Oklahoma really only has oversight in public universities. Yoder now serves as the only private school member on the student advisory board for the board of regents. The board oversees curriculum and passes rules on funding for courses. Public colleges and universities that receive state funding have significant oversight on the state level.

Yoder said that because TU is privately funded, “if we get any state money it is solely for research and it’s earmarked for that

and say, we stand with you on these issues.

So we feel like TU being present has that emphasis of, look TU attended and they still agree with this, the state needs to fix it on this level.”

Not everyone was opposed to Yoder’s reasoning. Tyrance Billingsley, a student from TCC, said that he understood why OSGA’s resolutions and suggestions should not apply to private institutions, but did express uncertainty about why “public” would have to be explicitly written on the documents given that the board of regents is well aware that it has no jurisdiction over private institutions.

Yoder responded to this concern as well. “I felt like when we were sending these things onto the state level, they may be good intentioned bills, and awesome in what they do, but just sending them and saying ‘all universities and colleges’,” could be potentially problematic. Especially “when legislators know that TU and St. Gregory are showing up at these things. We are indirectly sending the signal that ‘all and every’ is fine wording for them to use and impose, which then does implicate TU and other private universities,” she explained.

As an example, Yoder’s resolution explicitly states that it is for public colleges and universities. She asserted, “I think it would be helpful for TU and other private schools too, it’s just that we don’t want the state imposing it on us.”

Yoder has been going to these events every semester since she was a freshman, with the exclusion of last fall when she was studying abroad. Despite the confusion at this most recent Congress, Yoder enjoys these events because, “we get to come together and have open discussions with schools across the state and talk about things that are affecting us. While the laws don’t necessarily affect us directly, within campus life we face many of the same issues, like how to create more diverse programing and how we include more students.”

Yoder is looking forward to continuing to work with these schools in her new position on the student advisory board.

Communication professor undergoes US citizenship test Canadian communication professor Mark Brewin discusses the questions he was asked and the process he went through for the US citizenship test.

Alex Garoffolo Student Writer On April 5, Dr. Mark Brewin took the US citizenship test in Oklahoma City. Prior to the test, he had to fill out an 11-12 page application and pay a $600 fee. For the test itself, the government required him to pay another $100 for fingerprinting and other processing. The actual test took him “approximately five minutes. It was a surprisingly informal atmosphere,” according to Brewin. He said that he realized he felt more nervous than he originally thought he might leading up to the test, but that feeling soon abated as it got underway.

The test for citizenship is solely oral. The government has a test bank of 100 questions, “of which they only ask ten” he said.

“The exam felt like an open-ended interview. The agent [for the Department of Citizenship and Immigration Services] asked me ten questions. Examples included: who wrote the constitution, name a state that borders Mexico, name the two major political parties and tell three of the original thirteen colonies.” This serves two purposes. It tests

the applicant on his ability to use proper English and his knowledge of important facets of the nation and its history. A candidate must correctly answer six of the ten questions and demonstrate good English abilities to pass.

Brewin said “admittedly, my experience might have been more mundane than most.

I have lived in America for quite some time, spoken English from an early age and attended college here.” He added, “due to my application being based on residency and not relationship status with an American, the examination process was not very dramatic.” Brewin came to the United States in college on an F-1 visa, and later received his green card when he married an American woman.

Dr. Brewin cited “the feeling of being outside the process that I teach about and research” for why he decided to sit for the exam. With graduate work examining political communication in the United States and research interests in “the role of the body as medium for political and public communication,” he saw a disconnect between what he taught and what he could not do because of his non-citizenship status. “It really hit home in 2008, when the nation had the chance to elect the first African-American president and I could not even participate,” he said. “Truly, the main reason I did it was to have the power to vote. Voting in America is the way we count who’s a citizen and who is not; I wanted my chance to go to the

courtesy Mark Brewin After living in America for some time, Professor Brewin said his experience with the test might be “more mundane” than most.

polls,” Brewin concluded.

Then, his mother called him one day and asked him if he’d taken the test yet. He replied no, and she told him “you really should get on that.” “I suppose that’s when I realized that laziness and inertia were no longer an excuse to not get this done,” Brewin at-

tested, laughing.

The next step is to take the Oath of Citizenship in a few months. Then he will be an official citizen of the United States of America.

News

The Collegian: 4

President – Saswat Das, Andrew Hansen, Colleen Yoder and Joey Zitzman Vice President – Austin Carr and Kelly Scrivner Secretary – Conner Bender and Joanna George Treasurer – Laurel Cox and Wyatt Evans All candidates except Joey Zitzman wrote their own articles; student writer Brennen VanderVeen wrote Joey Zitzman’s profile.

Saswat Das and Joanna George did not provide articles.

10 April 2017

Colleen Yoder

Joey Zitzman

Joey Zitzman is a junior management major running for SA president. He is currently a senator from the Collins College of Business. In that capacity, he has served as the co-chair of University Improvements Committee (UIC), which was formerly known as Student Investigative Committee (SIC).

UIC is tasked with writing bills or resolutions to improve students’ experience on campus.

For example, UIC recently introduced resolutions to make changes at the Student Union. Among these are two changes of which students may already be aware: having Benvenuto’s open until 10:00 p.m. on weekdays and having Chick-fil-A offer spicy chicken sandwiches. UIC’s resolution to have Chick-fil-A open on Thursday nights is still in development. Zitzman was the primary author of these resolutions and lists them as his proudest accomplishment.

UIC has introduced other bills, though. For instance, on Tuesday a bill to improve game day parking for students is coming to the

floor. Overall, this has been one of UIC’s most productive years, with eight bills introduced so far compared to seven in the three semesters before.

If elected as president, Zitzman wants to increase transparency and SA’s responsiveness to students. For transparency, he wants to make it easier for students to see where their money is going. One idea he has is to make part of the SA Google Drive public.

He also proposed having at least some of the executive meetings open to students. For responsiveness, he wants to create a group composed of students from both inside and outside SA. He hopes this group could make proposals about streamlining SA’s financial process and Senate meetings.

Zitzman hopes to increase the number of international students who participate in SA. He thinks their lack of involvement causes SA to lose perspective on their issues. He also wants to make recycling more available to the student body.

courtesy Joey Zitzman

My name is Andrew Hansen and I’m running for SA President. A quick history of my time on SA: I have served as an Associate Director and Executive Director for the Information Services department and I currently serve as the Deputy Chief of Staff for Cabinet on the Executive Committee. My major goals as SA President include advocating for student needs with faculty and administration, ensuring that SA officers look beyond themselves and start with students they represent and continuing to develop effective communication with the student body.

This year part of my job as Deputy Chief of Staff was to create the Student Experience Council, a platform for SA to be able to gather student opinion on more specific topics other than how students felt about our events. After each iteration of the event I would work to improve it to better fit its purpose: communicating with students.

Eventually I had the opportunity to work with our PR department on Whatchya Thinkin Thursday, where we walked around and had conversations with students about our recent and future events. I was able to combine the beneficial aspects of both Whatchya Thinkin Thursday — face to face conversations with students — and the Student Experience Council — pointed topics that reach beyond events — to gauge how students felt about the university’s vision and future. This was brought to a committee preparing to redo the university’s vision and served to highlight the student voice where it would have otherwise had minimal representation. As these conversations with students continue to develop I plan on involving students new to SA so that they not only get comfortable talking about SA but also to help students put a face to SA and

know who they can come to with any issues and problems facing the university.

Another thing I’m looking to improve is SA’s advocacy on behalf of students. We’re able to have great input in Student Affairs and to other university administration, but one place SA has recently failed to advocate for students in is academics. We are all here as students and we are here to get a degree, so there is no reason we shouldn’t be able to have an open and honest conversation with faculty about the academics at the university. Working together with faculty will allow us to create an academic environment where TU students are most likely to succeed.

Finally, I’d like to address the culture in SA. I feel that when SA officers have taken students into consideration lately it’s been in the form of “What would students like me think about this?” or “Would a student like me enjoy this event?,” but when you are on SA you represent more than just students like you. I hope to challenge this ideology and encourage SA officers to start with the students they represent. In Cabinet this will take the form of increased event partnerships enabling clubs to have a major role in organizing major events on campus that they want to see. This also includes being aware of event times and locations to better accommodate students of different means and abilities. For Senators this culture change would be a constant push to realize we all have bias and to try and be as impartial in our decision making as possible. It would also mean realizing that since Senate is constantly exposed to our guidelines, we know them much better than student organizations. It would mean improving the guidelines through the eyes of the people using it. I plan to do this by using our Student Organization Committee (SOC) to

My name is Colleen Yoder and I am running for Student Association President. My goal if elected as President is to help create a more inclusive TU experience for both domestic and international students. This is a place we all call home and it is of the utmost importance that everyone feels a part of the student body.

One of my initiatives is to grow our event partnerships. Many clubs on campus put together wonderful events, and having a stronger connection with these clubs will allow us to create even better events for the student body. I believe it to be SA’s duty to support campus clubs by not only attending these events, but by helping clubs in any way possible.

Another plan is to include Senators’ emails and names on students’ housing and academic emails to help open communication between Senators and our students.

Having a voice in Student Association is your right as a student and you shouldn’t have to work for that right.

I will also ensure that a wider variety of food is served at SA events. Having similar food at events becomes boring and I believe we have the power to change this. I want to personally work with restaurants around Tulsa so we can bring a wider variety of

courtesy Colleen Yoder

food to campus.

Lastly, I want to reduce SA waste. You trust SA with your money and we need to be more responsible with it. This will also allow for more money to be allocated to organizations on campus. The organizations on campus represent what is important to you and they deserve to be funded as such.

I have served on SA for the past three years, formerly as the Associate Director and Executive Director of Elections and Policy. This role allowed me the unique opportunity to work closely with both Cabinet and Senate. I learned so much not only about the internal workings of SA, but also how Senate can improve the student experience here at TU. I’m currently a Senator for Apartments and I’m loving being able to work towards improving student life. I care very deeply about SA, but what I love the most about this organization is having the opportunity to serve our students.

There is one big difference between SA and other organizations at TU. Its sole mission is to serve you, the student, in the best way possible. As President, I want to achieve this mission by strengthening the bonds between SA and you so that your experience here at TU is the best it can be!

Andrew Hansen

a greater extent than it ever has been. After SA charters clubs, we often just leave them to float. That’s unfair and I plan on utilizing SOC to help inform these new clubs of all the resources available to them as well as how to go through our funding process to ease the transition and start the club off on the best note. SOC will also check up on active organization to learn more about their experiences with Senate and see where we need to improve.

courtesy Andrew Hansen

If you have any questions about my policies or about SA in general please feel free to contact me, awh301@utulsa.edu. I’d like to thank all of you for taking the time to be informed voters. Elections will be taking place on April 12-13. You can vote at polling booths in the Student Union and Pat Case Dining Center or on Harvey by clicking on Student Association under the My Organizations module. Start With Students and Vote Andrew Hansen for SA President.

Laurel Cox

I’m a junior communication major with minors in law and English. As you can see from my courses of study, I am all about making sure information is presented in the clearest way possible. I will make sure that SA funding and funding information are available to the maximum number of students possible. I served my sophomore year on SA Cabinet as an Associate Director of Public Relations and I have served this year on Senate and the Financial Allocations Committee.

Serving on FAC, I’ve learned a lot about how SA operates and how the process of funding works across campus, but I’ve also noticed some areas for improvement. The process of SA funding can be frustrating and confusing for organizations to understand, and I want to make this process smoother

and simpler for everyone. To do this I will work with FAC and other SA leaders to create an easily accessible checklist for organizations to follow and understand the requirements for funding and reimbursement.

I will make sure that SA Cabinet departments and student organizations receive maximum funding. There is no reason that any organization should go unfunded by SA, and I want to ensure that everyone has access to these resources. I understand the reimbursement process for event funding can be frustrating for organizations, but unfortunately it’s something that is done through the business office and is out of SA’s control. However, I will ensure that the reimbursement process will be as easy and efficient as possible on SA’s end. In other words, I will keep SA in check.

courtesy Laurel Cox

News

10 April 2017 My name is Austin Carr, and I am running for SA Vice President. If you talk to me, you’ll know I’m not one to pull punches or hold back what I think. So, first and foremost, I want to say what we all think: the Senate of SA does not effectively serve the student body of the University of Tulsa.

I have seen the redundancy of the funding process first hand as an organization president. As Chairman of the Financial Allocations Committee, I have seen the frustration that many org reps go through trying to jump through all the funding hoops. As FAC Chairman, I served and helped orgs as much as I could. I wrote bills that maximize the funding for which orgs are eligible. In all things, I try to make the funding process as easy and painless as possible, at least when they are dealing with my committee. I have a proven record of helping organizations.

The way I see it, changing the Senate starts with Senate. It’s not your fault you don’t know the in’s and the out’s of the funding process; Senate doesn’t communicate it effectively. It’s not your fault the Senate is a cloistered entity veiled in secrecy; Senate doesn’t give you the opportunity to ask questions or hold Senate accountable. To the international students, it’s not your fault you are not represented as a valued part of the TU community; Senate doesn’t even try to recruit from your ranks. Senate doesn’t give you a voice.

Senate needs to change its culture.

My first task as Vice President will be conducting a review of all governing documents of the Senate. Every committee will be scrutinized and we will determine if the

committees truly serve the interests of the student body. Among these changes include measures linking Senators to their constituents, particularly through public town halls.

Each committee will be required to hold regular town halls open to the entire university. These town halls will allow you to ask the Senators anything or propose any changes to campus. From the town halls, I hope we receive many ideas on how to improve campus.

My second task will be to give a voice to the student body where they have none. For example, you have zero voice in academic matters at this university. If you want the library open longer, Keplinger or Chapman open later, improvements with class registration or better WiFi so Harvey doesn’t quit on you in the middle of studying, you have no line to the administration. The Student Academic Committee that I am proposing will give you a direct line to the administration through the Senate. And don’t worry about them not listening, the Student Academic Committee will be required to meet with students bi-weekly.

My third task will be to improve Senate internally. I have a laundry list of changes I would like to make, each one with a direct impact on you by making Senate much more efficient and much more effective at representing you, the stellar students at the University of Tulsa.

It’s time for a candidate who is open, honest, and works hard for the improvement of the University. Make a change, TU. Vote for me for Student Association Vice President on April 12 and 13.

Wyatt Evans

My name is Wyatt Evans, and I would like to be the Treasurer of our Student Association. I am double majoring in Computer Information Systems and accounting with a minor in computer science. I have extensive education and training in budgeting, strategic planning and overall leadership.

This will allow me to not only be an effective treasurer, but also allow me to add value to the general operations of SA’s Executive Committee. My main goal as treasurer is to develop a vision for the student body that everyone can get behind. I will then work to create very realistic, attainable goals that every student is aware of and can take a part in accomplishing. The skills and experience I have gained from being both treasurer and

president of my fraternity have taught me how to manage an organization with diverse individuals and goals. I currently serve as a Senator in SA and sit on the University Improvement Committee, which means I am devoted to bringing the student body closer to SA and enacting the change that you want to see. Voting for me is voting for someone who will work to tap into currently underutilized resources around campus and the Tulsa community. The Gilcrease Museum is a prime example of something that goes underappreciated and underutilized by our university. I promise to go item by item through our budget to make sure every dollar is used appropriately.

courtesy Wyatt Evans

Kelly Scrivner

Austin Carr

courtesy Austin Carr

Conner Bender

courtesy Conner Bender

My name is Conner Bender, and I am a freshman computer science & mathematics major. I am ready to take on an internal role in Student Association. Being on Cabinet as an Associate Director for Technical Operations has taught me vital communication skills with technology, which is a critical characteristic for being Secretary. The role of Secretary includes taking minutes, monitoring the Student Assocation email, managing payroll and judicial cases and collaborating with other members on Executive. I

want to be the person who documents Cabinet and Senate meetings, being the ambassador between Student Association and the student body about what is going on. One initiative I am committed to is allowing more transparency in the minutes and fostering an inviting culture to any dedicated individuals on campus. I want to be a part of making the University of Tulsa community one of the most welcoming and affirming environments for learning. Your vote will help in joining me to make that happen.

I’m Kelly Scrivner, and I’m running for Vice President of Student Association. I have served as an SA officer for 3 years – first on Cabinet, then on Senate, where I currently represent the student body at large.

My experiences serving others as a leader include:

More Senators at SA events — We want to hear from you!

Posting Senator bios and contact information on the SA website Providing periodic Senate reports to update you on what we’re doing Advocating for your issues before Senate — Come and tell us how we can help!

· SA Associate Director of Springfest · SA Associate Director of Student Awareness · Senate Financial Allocations Committee member · Senate Governing Operations Committee member · Orientation Leader · University Ambassador · Treasurer of Mortar Board. · Chi Omega Director of Community Service If elected, I will work with you to put the “Student” first in Student Association. Let’s increase transparency. Let’s build stronger connections between you and your senators.

Let’s work together for what you want on campus. Here’s some of the ways I will accomplish these goals: courtesy Kelly Scrivner

The Collegian: 5

Creating a 24/7 study space for students — You asked for it, let’s do it!

Much of Senate’s traditional role involves providing organizations with funding for their events. I want Senate to be more than a place to get funding, but a place where students can enact real change. As Vice President, I will bring university leadership to Senate to discuss the things that you want to see improved on campus. Together, we can improve housing, dining, security, IT and overall life at TU. Let’s do it!

As Vice President, I will be your advocate. I will improve SA internally, so that you are served more efficiently and effectively. All three branches will work together to make your voice heard and improve life at TU. Vote for me. Give me the opportunity to serve you and improve our campus! Together, we can succeed.

The Collegian: 6

News

10 April 2017

Mayor G.T. Bynum discusses path to his “dream job”

Mayor Bynum was inspired to run for office by his history and Tulsa’s potential.

Nick Rethford Apprentice Editor

Mayor G.T. Bynum does not mess around.

Since moving back to Tulsa, he has already built a successful business and brought tremendous change to the city during his time on the City Council. That, and he was elected mayor. Needless to say, the rest of Tulsa may or may not have some catching up to do, but until then, Mayor Bynum has no problem serving as Tulsa’s main source of inspiration and leadership. It’s what he has spent his whole life working towards.

Mayor Bynum’s path to becoming mayor began when he was born into a family of Tulsa natives who doubled as strong lead-

ers. His great-great-grandfather moved here during the 1870s when there were only 200 people living in the city, resulting in a long family history interwoven with Tulsa’s history.

Bynum’s grandfather, Robert LaFortune, had been mayor for eight years before he was born. “Growing up, I would go places with him and my grandmother, and if we ever went anywhere in Oklahoma, someone would stop us to say hi to him and tell me about what a great job he’d done,” he explains. “I picked up on a) the fact that being the mayor was important to people and b) the things that people think are important for a mayor to be.”

His knowledge of local and federal government came from relationships with his uncle, former Mayor Bill LaFortune, and his former boss, Senator Don Nickles. “Two days before I graduated college, I got a call from Senator Don Nickles’ office offering me a job opening his mail, and I thought, ‘I

courtesy Nick Rethford Mayor G.T. Bynum is one of the youngest mayors in Tulsa history. He believes this reflects how Tulsa is being built by a younger generation of professionals.

will go do that for a year just for the experience of working on Capitol Hill.’ He was one of the best legislators in the Senate, but what he had been working on he had been working on for twenty years because the federal system was so slow,” Mayor Bynum explains.

Bill, on the other hand, was able to take a faster route thanks to the workings of a local government. After only one hundred days in office, Bill already had plans to compete with an arena that had just been built in Oklahoma City. “By the time my wife and I moved home from D.C. three years later, the BOK Center was under construction,” he says. “The amount of change you can bring about at the local level is so much greater than the federal level and the tangible nature of it is so much greater as well.”

It was his time at Cascia Hall and Villanova University — schools run by Augustinian priests — where he learned the most important leadership tools. Admiring their focus on service and selflessness to their surrounding community, he was inspired to bring those qualities to the political world and focus more on bringing positive change than just getting elected.

“My senior year I wrote my thesis on young people involved in politics, and what was interesting was that the studies showed young people should be the most politically active people. They are the most idealistic and have the most free time, but they’re just not involved. Well, why not? It was because they were more involved in nonprofits and charities. The difference was that politics was viewed as corrupted and negative while nonprofit was viewed as focused on selflessness/service. So my wife and I thought, ‘well, what if we just offer people a candidate that has things people look for in nonprofit?’”

In 2008, Mayor Bynum offered just that, and was elected to the City Council. There he helped make many positive changes to Tulsa, including street improvements, tax cuts and rainy day funds. By far his proudest accomplishment, though, was passing the bill to put above water dams in the Arkansas River, something people had been talking about for over fifty years. It was one of the reasons he ran for City Council.

“I have this report from my grandfather when he was street commissioner in 1964 and it was pretty much what we passed in 2016,” he explains. “People talked about this for fifty-two years, so I used everything I learned to get that thing passed, and we did. It’s going to change the way we use the

Arkansas River, and I’m very proud of that and that we finally made up our minds.”

Coupled with his rich background in government and his unique outlook on politics as positive change-making, these achievements helped him gain the approval he needed to run for mayor. An advocate for policy over partisanship, Mayor Bynum felt Tulsa had so much potential to be a world class city that it wasn’t living up to.

“I did not feel like the mayoral leadership in our city was challenging us to be a nationally competitive city. I felt like that wasn’t even on the radar and that they were comfortable competing with Owasso and Broken Arrow, who should be our allies in competing with cities around the world, not our competitors locally,” he says. “There is no growth to be found with a city and its suburbs fighting with each other.”

What he found was that most of Tulsa felt the same way. Having people such as Susan Savage, Dick Crawford, Terry Young, Kathy Taylor and his grandfather on his side, Mayor Bynum learned that a lot of citizens wanted to see Tulsa live up to that potential too. This eventually led to him beating twoterm incumbent candidate Dewey Bartlett with a whopping 56 percent of the vote in last July’s primary election.

“I remember the day I announced my campaign on Facebook, and I didn’t know if anyone would be behind me,” he explains.

“But it blew up. We realized that there are more people that feel this was who that want government to be more about bringing people together and fixing problems rather than just getting elected and demonizing someone else.”

At only thirty-nine, he is one of the youngest mayors to be elected in Tulsa. He see his age as an opportunity rather than a weakness. “One of our greatest areas of focus is getting young professionals to stay here and to move back, and I think having a 39 year old mayor and a mayor’s office where the average age is 34 shows young professionals that this city is being built by our generation,” he explains.

With only around one hundred days under his belt and a lot of expectations to live up to, Mayor Bynum still has a long way to go.

But no worries, he’s up for the challenge.

After all, this is his dream job. “Oh, it’s great. I mean, it’s pretty fantastic to get to do your dream job,” he says. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of hard work, but there is such a great spirit in our community right now and it’s a dream come true to be part of that.”

Presidential lecturer speaks on future of US-China relations Evan Osnos, a foreign correspondent in China, gave a lecture and held a Q&A session with students.

Giselle Willis Managing Editor Evan Osnos, TU’s latest presidential lecturer, had always wanted to be a foreign correspondent in China. Now, he’s a Pulitzer Prize-winning and National Book Awardwinning foreign correspondent for the New Yorker. His favorite thing about living in China is the unpredictability: buildings are razed and rebuilt in the blink of an eye and going down the street to buy groceries seems to present a different experience every time.

Given the changeability of his everyday life, however, Mr. Osnos was prepared to discuss another uncertain topic: the future of ChinaUS relations.

He began his lecture with three questions for the audience: Who had had a reason to go to China? Who thought the economy would still be strong in 10 years? Who thought the political system would have changed in 10 years? Most people raised a hand for the first question, and responses were mixed to the second two. The straw poll demonstrated the an ambiguous perception of China’s future, even amongst people who had been to that country.

Osnos noted that his speech was particularly timely, since China’s Xi Jinping was just landing in the US for his meeting with President Trump in Mar-a-Lago. He said that as he spoke, Chinese people would be trying to gauge the nature of the relationship between Xi and Trump. Former president Obama and Xi Jinping had been playfully compared to Tigger and Winnie the Pooh, respectively. In general, American-Chinese relations range from the analogy to the Hundred Acre Wood to a recent book cover depicting a sword stabbing a map of the United States and titled “Death by China.”

Yet China’s story, according to Osnos, is one primarily of growth. He said China’s economy has grown so much, so quickly, that the gap between the poor and the rich is like that between New York and Ghana.

This economic growth, however, distracts from what is perhaps more important: individual and demographic change.

What used to unite the people of the People’s Republic of China was the pressure to conform. Newspapers encouraged them to

courtesy US Embassy The Hague/Flickr courtesy Loren Javier/Flickr Osnos said Chinese people will be studying the relationship between China’s Xi Jinping and President Trump; President Obama and Xi’s relationship was compared to Tigger and Winnie the Pooh, respectively.

“be the rustless screw” in the revolutionary machine while others said individuals should strive to be like the bland rice served with every meal.

Osnos explained that the rise of the individual is evidenced in how China is moving away from traditional matchmakers. One young woman whom Osnos met realized that the cultural disconnect between herself and her parents was too strong for her parents to pick out a suitable partner for her.

She decided to make her own website for matchmaking that allows people to choose their own partners based on qualities they want. In the end, she made quite a profit off of deciding that she was different enough from her family to do more than conform.

China’s policy has also changed. The government used to “hide strength and bide time,” but no longer. Now, Osnos said, Xi Jinping has introduced the concept of the “Chinese dream,” the “great renewal of the nation.” China is building more high speed railways and airports than anywhere else.

China is “hungry for respect” because its middle-aged generation grew up with an education (despite not learning about the Tiananmen Square massacre or the Cultural Revolution). In their view, China has simply been experiencing “a bad millennium.”

Yet, if it becomes the new world leader as a developing country, it will find that being first is expensive. China’s economic growth is slowing, and even locals complain about the air pollution now (as opposed to just foreigners). Chinese youth are angry about expensive housing and education, as well as the gap between the rich and the poor. In some ways, Chinese and American residents

have similar concerns.

The future world, according to Osnos, will have multipolar leadership. He promised the audience there would be “more tension” between the US and China. Since criticisms of the government are not tolerated, Chinese people will resort to anti-West rhetoric as the vocabulary through which they can express discontent. Meanwhile, the one-child policy has had overall negative effects, especially because of a preference for male babies. More men has historically meant more bellicose policies and more uprising.

Mr. Osnos also held a one-hour question and answer session with students. Questions addressed US-China relations as well as his experiences in China, his journalism career and American politics. He said that every time the United States gets caught up in some esoteric internal battle, like when our government shutdown in 2013, China celebrates. They get to keep investing in their business and infrastructure while we waste time. Regarding his National Book Awardwinning book, “Age of Ambition: Chasing Fortune, Truth, and Faith in the New China,” he was asked whether he thought China had faith. He said that China’s turn toward faith and religion was the biggest change he had witnessed since beginning his work abroad in 2005.

While working in China, Osnos has not experienced formal censorship or the additional burden of self-censorship — refraining from reporting on certain topics because of possible, although not explicit, political repercussions. When the New Yorker asked him to write a profile on the Dalai Lama, an

enemy of the Chinese government, he didn’t even consider saying no. He said foreign journalists will always make mistakes about the countries they report on, but at least now they apply to go to countries they have prepared for, and aren’t randomly assigned like they used to be.

It sounded like the American political climate had been harsher on Osnos than China’s. When he wrote an article about members of the alt-right in the United States, he faced anti-Semite online harassment.

Attackers called him “Super Jew,” which he thought was a fun nickname, but also released the make and model of his car, which was not easy to laugh off. However, Osnos said he would defend to the death their right to unfettered speech. He also thought closing off our borders was a “huge self-inflicting wound.”

The normalization of hate in this country is a “dispiriting sociological fact” to Osnos, but he thinks we should allow it to run its course. After all, Osnos thinks the US is special because of its resilience; after the Iran-Contra affair of the 1980s, the government was willing to drag itself through investigations for the sake of disclosure.

Osnos’ career tips for students were to focus on language and reach out to people they thought had cool jobs. He said he wishes his Chinese were better, and that spending the extra time on perfecting a language is worth it. Asking potential mentors for even just a fifteen-minute phone call can also provide guidance on what the job is like and what it takes to get there.

10 April 2017

Mar. 6 12:15 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security received a report of sexual assault of a student by a student occurring in Mayo Village. The student has filed a report with TPD. This investigation is on-going.

5:35 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Hardesty Press Storage building for an individual trespassing.

Officers were able to make contact with the individual however, while attempting to do a records check the individual ran from officers continuing off of university property.

Officers did advise the individual they were on private property and not to return. The items the individual left behind were removed from university property.

9:30 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Fisher West for rifle ammunition discovered in a room. Upon arrival officers entered the room and found that the resident wasn’t present. Officers searched the room and found addition contraband.

News

Mar. 8 11:10 a.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Mabee Gym in reference to a student wanting to make an information report. The student wanted to inform Campus Security of an ongoing family dispute possibly trying to came to campus. The student had blocked communication with the family member. They are afraid they may try to show up on campus in the future.

9:10 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Mabee Gym in reference to an ill student. The student was playing softball and became dehydrated.

The student was in their vehicle in the Mabee East parking lot. The student was given water and Gatorade to re hydrate. After the student recovered, they were escorted back to their apartment Mar. 9 9:10 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Norman Village Apartments for a suspicious smell. The reporting party stated that several times per week there is a strong odor of marijuana coming from the apartment ventilation. Officers identified a strong marijuana odor in the apartment. Officers searched the surrounding area, but could not find the source of the smell.

Mar. 10 2:00 p.m.

Nathan Gibbons Student Writer

Many dead in Somalia bombing In Somalia’s capital Mogadishu, a suicide car bombing last Sunday killed at least 17 people. Through its radio channel, Andalus Radio, terror group Al-Shabaab claimed responsibility. The attack was a failed assassination attempt on the new Somali military chief, General Ahmed Mohamed Irfid. The suicide car missed a convoy carrying Irfid and drove instead into a minibus full of passengers.

Irfid, who was appointed by Somali President Mohamed Farmaajo three days ago, escaped unharmed. According to the Council on Foreign Relations, Al-Shabaab seeks to turn Somalia into a fundamentalistic Islamic state. The United States designated the group as a foreign terrorist organization in March 2008. They are responsible for attacks in their home country and abroad, such as a 2015 attack that left 150 dead in Kenya.

Stockholm attack suspect was denied residency Rakhmat Alikov, who was arrested last Friday for killing four people and injuring at least 15 with a truck in Stockholm, had previously expressed sympathy for the Islamic State and been denied residency in Sweden. Swedish police stated that Alikov had turned up in previous investigations.

“He was a marginal character,” said Sweden’s national police chief Dan Eliasson.

Last Friday, Alikov hijacked a beer truck in Stockholm and crashed into a department store in Sweden’s capital. A bag of explosives inside the vehicle did not detonate properly, only burning Alikov. 10 of the 15 wounded are still in hospitals, with four remaining in critical condition. The attack comes as the Islamic State continues to inspire attacks, especially with the use of vehicles, around the globe.

Syria continues to bomb Khan Sheikhoun Khan Sheikhoun, the rebel-held town of Syria struck by chemical weapons early last week, has continued to be a target for airstrikes. Last Saturday, residents of the town took shelter when at least one civilian was killed and multiple were wounded as Syria’s government continued its attack on rebels in the ongoing civil war. President Donald Trump already called a missile strike on one of the Syrian air bases responsible for extensive bombing across northern Syria.

The strike, which Russian and Syrian officials were warned of prior to the attack, was in retaliation for chemical attacks that killed at least 86 in Khan Sheikhoun last Tuesday.

Pictures and footage of dead civilians, many of them children foaming at the mouth, led to global outrage. Trump said in a statement, “That attack on children yesterday had a big impact on me. Big impact. That was a horrible, horrible thing. And I’ve been watching it and seeing it, and it doesn’t get any worse than that,” he said.

IS bombs Coptic Christians in Egypt 44 people were killed in Egypt last Sunday when attackers bombed two Coptic Christian churches. In Tanta, a Nile Delta city north of Cairo, the bombing of St. George Church left 27 dead and over 78 injured. A second attack by a suicide bomber in Alexandria led to 17 deaths and at least 48 injured in Saint Mark’s Cathedral, the historic seat of the Coptic Pope. Coptic Pope Tawadros, who was leading mass at Saint Mark’s when it was attacked, was quoted saying, “these acts will not harm the unity and cohesion of the people.”

IS has taken responsibility for both attacks. Egypt’s President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi, who promised to protect the religious minority Coptic Christians as part of his pledge to fight radical terrorism, said “The attack … will only harden the determination [of the Egyptian people] to move forward on their trajectory to realize security, stability and comprehensive development.”

The Collegian: 7

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers made contact with an individual near Zink Hall who attempted to enter the building. The individual claimed to be a student that wanted to speak with a department staff member. Upon investigation the individual was determined not to be a student and was unable to provide a name of the person they wished to speak with. A previous contact card and warrants search returned negative. Officers ensured the individual left campus property without issuing a trespass warning.

Mar. 12 7:20 p.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers conducted a pedestrian check on an individual walking a bicycle with a flat tire in the 8th & Harvard Shuttle Lot. As officers attempted to gather information from the individual, they refused to cooperate and exited campus onto Harvard Ave leaving a wrench and knife behind. The wrench and knife were impounded and put into the property locker.

Mar. 17 1:15 a.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to a fire alarm at John Mabee Hall. Officers located the room that initiated the alarm and discovered burning cigarettes and smoke detectors that had been tampered with.

5:30 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Mabee Gym in

regards to a possible situation involving a university employee. A University of Tulsa employee came to Campus Security to inform Officers about a protective order.

7:40 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to an apartment in University Square South in regards to water damage. Upon arrival, officers noticed water damage and the smell of mildew in the apartment. Officers had emergency maintenance contacted and housing placed the student in a different residence for the time being.

Mar. 22 8:52 a.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Helmrich Hall in reference to an irate student. The advisor was able to calm the student down before Officers’ arrival.

1:00 p.m.

University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to a report of possible stolen university property. Security Officers investigated the incident and determined the property mentioned was not stolen. The individual reporting the incident was discovered to have made a false report. That individual was trespass warned not to return to campus.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Monday, April 10 at 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

McFarlin Library, 5th floor The BOOM days: Prosperity and Pain in Each Barrel of Crude This exhibit is a glimpse into the life of the oil field worker during the early days of the oil boom in Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana and Pennsylvania. The BOOM Days explores the hard work of roughnecks, tankies, pipe-liners and shooters of the 19th and early 20th centuries.

The exhibit includes everything from photographs and maps to a sledgehammer, a model of an oil derrick, a board game where players try to beat the odds and gather the most oil, and items from the famous International Petroleum Exhibition that took place in Tulsa, inspiring the permanent installation of Tulsa’s very own Golden Driller statue.

Till Monday, April 24 Wednesday, April 12 at 7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

Chapman Hall, Lecture Hall Playwright and Screenwriter Presentation: Donald Margulies Donald Margulies, Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright and screenwriter (The End of the Tour) will appear at The University of Tulsa.

Following the reading of a scene from his Broadway hit and Pulitzer Prize nominated play, Collected Stories, Mr. Margulies will present a brief talk, “Becoming a Playwright,” and an open question and answer session with the audience.

Margulies’ plays have appeared both on and off Broadway over the past twenty years.

His play Sight Unseen was also nominated for a Pulitzer Prize; he won the prize for Dinner With Friends, which is widely produced around the world. Awards include the 2014 PEN/Laura Pels International Foundation for Theater Award American Playwright in Mid-Career and the 2005 American Academy of Arts and Letters Award in Literature; grants include from the National Endowment for the Arts, the New York Foundation for the Arts, the John Simon Guggenheim Memorial Foundation and a MacDowell Colony Fellowship.

Margulies is a professor of English and Theatre Studies at Yale University.

Thursday, April 13 at 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

108 Contemporary The Collector’s Passion: Of Tea and Teacups A lecture by Laura Miller, co-founder of Salon.com, columnist for the New York Times Book Reivew, and collector of tea cups.

This lecture is part of the Steeped show at 108 Contemporary.

She’ll discuss the curious passions of collectors and her own dogged pursuit of art deco teacups.

Friday, April 14 at 4:30 p.m.

McFarlin Library, Faculty Study “Pop Goes the South” Literature Lecture The Department of English presents “Pop Goes the South: Southern Studies and the Silly Archive” with University of Arkansas Associate Professor of English Lisa Hinrichsen.

Hinrichsen is the author of Possessing The Past: Trauma, Imagination, And Memory In Post-Plantation Southern Literature. Her research specializes in 20th-century Southern and African American literature, psychoanalytic theory and cultural studies.

Saturday, April 15 at 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Gilcrease Museum, Helmerich Hall Music in the Museum Visit the galleries and enjoy various small ensembles from the Tulsa Symphony performing repertoire spanning four centuries from Renaissance and Baroque to Pop and Broadway music. Drop in for a few minutes of music, or stay for the whole performance.

Monday, April 17 at 7:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.

Lorton Performance Center, Gussman Concert Hall Wind Ensemble/Symphonic Winds Concert The University of Tulsa Wind Ensemble, conducted by Richard Wagner and Andrew Anderson, will feature the “Lincolnshire Posy” by Percy Grainger, and the Oklahoma premiere of “Songs from the End of the World” by John Mackey with TU soprano Abby Raiford.

The Symphonic Winds, conducted by Andrew Anderson and Tom Stout, will perform music by James Newton Howard, Rachmaninov, David Biedenbender and Samuel Barber.

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

News

The Collegian: 8

10 April 2017

Winners of 20th TU Research Colloquium announced The annual Research Colloquium was held March 27-31. Mariah Heck won first place with her research on bark beetle infestations in the Sierra National Forest.

Alex Garoffolo Student Writer March 27-31, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on the second floor of ACAC, TU students presented research on topics ranging from “spherically symmetric neutron star simulations” to the “John Birch Society’s civil rights conspiracies” and everything in between. The event, in its twentieth year, is designed to showcase the student research at TU as well as give students a chance to professionally present their research in a competition-based setting.

The colloquium, per usual, was held in conjunction with the OU-Tulsa Research Forum. Students presenting posters of their

work rather than giving oral presentations on their research to panels of judges will showcase their findings at the OU-Tulsa campus on April 18.

Each student presentation is limited to 20 minutes, including a five minute questioning period in which any judge or member of the audience may ask about their research. Candidates are graded on a score of one to nine (best) in multiple categories: central message, presentation of ideas, use of supporting materials, language, delivery and abstract. At the end of the week, all scores are tabulated and top scorers receive their recognition at the culminating banquet.

First, second and third place all come with cash awards.

In 1998, TU established the event to provide students with the opportunity to gain public speaking experience, learn about other fields of student research outside their own, and experience judging methods used by professional organizations at international meetings. It is open to all TU students, regardless of grade or college.

It grew from a six student, one session event

into the week long colloquium it is today, averaging 150 students.

According to the program handbook, due to the continued success of the colloquium, the event will continue to expand in size and scope, “allowing TU students to expand their knowledge base of other fields and enabling the TU community to actively support our students in their endeavors.”

Mariah Heck, a senior studying geophysics and geosciences, won first prize with her research concerning bark beetle infestations in pine trees in the Sierra National Forest in southern California. During her internship with NASA, she decided to look at the problem from the outside in. Using NASA’s satellite data, during its Student Airborne Research Program in California last summer, Heck tried to see if there existed certain wavelengths of light that reflected the beginning signs of infestations, as a way to use satellite images to recognize bark beetle populations in their early stages before they became a catastrophic problem.

The bark beetle problem is not contained within California either. Heck said they’re

“responsible for tree deaths in Colorado and parts of Canada as well.” The beetles started to thrive due to California’s drought conditions and mild winters. Although she ultimately did not find a specific wavelength to identify bark beetles, Heck still took home the top prize at the Colloquium — $250 cash and a certificate. When asked what she’d use the money for, ever the academic, she replied “probably to pay for supplies toward [geoscience] field camp this summer.” Her advice for giving a good presentation? “I try to present my research in a way anybody can understand,” she said, “like I’m talking to my grandmother.”

Heck had prior experience presenting this research as well. First, she presented it at the end of her NASA internship last summer.

From there, the American Geophysical Union asked her to present her findings at its conference in San Francisco in December.

Her plans after graduation and field camp include a potential gap year and an eventual Ph.D in planetary science, potentially returning to NASA.

Full list of Research Colloquium winners

Technical Session Winners 1st place Mariah Heck: Geosciences Undergraduate Finding spectral patterns in bark beetle infestations of the Sierra National Forest using Landsat and AVIRIS imagery 2nd place Brian Boyd: Computer Science Masters Examining Collaboration among Student Teams relying on Web Applications to Coordinate Software Development Rose Fonseca: Psychology Doctoral Work-Life Balance: What does it really mean?

Zachary Taylor Qualls: Museum Science and Management Masters Artistic Form in the Sande Society of West Africa 3rd place Nathan Hutchins: Computer Engineering Doctoral Acceptance, Human Factors, and Ethics in Autonomous Vehicles Michael Mancini: Educational Studies Masters An Interstate Comparison of Indian Removal Era Social Studies Curricula Camden Schinnerer: Biochemistry and Chemistry Undergraduate Effects of Chelation of Fe(II) and Fe(III) by Melanin Films on Electrochemical Characteristics for Parkinsonism Disease Applications Honorable Mention Bret Arnold: Industrial-Organizational Psychology Doctoral Contextualizing the Emotional Labor and Burnout of Nurses: Individuals, Organizations, and Cultures Adam Bensalah: Chemistry Undergraduate Mild Arene Chlorination using Organic Dyes as Visible Light Photoredox Catalysts Chandler Berrett :History Masters Reconstruction on Film Paul Bowman, Jr.: Anthropology Doctoral 3D Morphometrics of Bone Surface Modifications from Archaeological Assemblages: A Cursory Investigation Britney Elliott: Anthropology Undergraduate Taphonomic and Paleoecological Analysis of Small Mammal Remains from Hayonim Cave Layer E Alison Kerr: Industrial-Organizaitonal Psychology Doctoral Stress and the Mindful Police Officer Kelsey Kindbom: Urban Education and English Masters The effect of home learning environment on vocabulary skills Srinivas Swaroop: Kolla Mechanical Engineering Doctoral Computational Fluid Dynamics Study on the Effect of Inlet Modifications of GLCC Compact Separators Vaidheeshwar Ramasubramanian: Chemical Engineering Doctoral Investigating the role of molybdenum during the direct conversion of methane to liquids under non-oxidative conditions Bradley W. Reynolds: Clinical Psychology Doctoral Ideational Fluency, Sensation Seeking, and Anxiety: A Recipe for Binge Drinking Amanda Seiders: Mathematics Doctoral Solving Laplace’s Equation in a Rectangular Domain using the Boundary Element Method Autumn Slaughter: Clinical Psychology Doctoral Journalists’ Satisfaction with Hostile Environment, First Aid, and Safety Trainings Kirk Smith: Mechanical Engineering Undergraduate Polymeric Solar Thermal Collectors and the Transition to a Clean Energy Economy Dulanjani Wijayasekara: Biological Sciences Doctoral Characterization of Maize Dwarf Mosaic Virus from Johnsongrass in Oklahoma Community Service Session Winner 1st Place Elisabeth Loe: Engineers Without Borders Undergraduate Student Youth Services Solar Cell Phone Character Project

TU to offer biomedical engineering minor The minor combines a range of topics and promises to bring an emerging field to TU. Alex Garoffolo Student Writer According to the minor sheet TU provides prospective students, biomedical engineering involves “blurring the distinction between engineering and medicine … cochlear implants, MRI machines, hip implants and smart prosthetics” are just a few advances that the field has made.

The minor itself consists of courses in three main fields of focus: biology, biomedical engineering foundational classes and biomedical engineering specialization

cal engineering department, was a key force behind the creation of this program.

Dr. Ty Johannes also contributed considerably.

Henshaw explained the “epochs” of engineering like this: “first came the steam engine, then we had the Wright Brothers and the creation of manned flight, then came the space race, followed by the advent of electronic devices becoming critical to most of our everyday lives (cell phones, computers) and now we see the truly next big epoch in the marriage of medicine and engineering.”

“We can create artificial joints and retinas,” he added, as well as an array of other project applications for biomedical engineering, including “biologically inspired robots.”

FREAKY FAST! FREAKY GOOD! ®

“‘There is great potential for many innovations and products that could drastically change many people’s lives for the better.’” classes. The biology core comprises seven hours of courses in the biology field and the specialization classes include a broad range of topics: bioinformatics, artificial intelligence, biomedical engineering, robots and sensor design, just to name a few. The departments involved include computer sciences, chemical engineering, electrical engineering, physics and mathematics.

Dr. John Henshaw, chair of the mechani-

“The biomedical field is the fastest growing one in engineering,” Henshaw concluded. There is great potential for many innovations and products that could drastically change many people’s’ lives for the better. This minor is just the start of TU’s efforts to bring biomedicine into the educational sphere. Expect more from the program in coming years, even the possibility of a full-fledged major.

WE DELIVER! TO FIND THE LOCATION NEAREST YOU VISIT JIMMYJOHNS.COM ©2016 JIMMY JOHN’S FRANCHISE, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

10 April 2017

Hurricane Scoreboard

Softball

April 5: TU 3 - OSU 2 April 6: Wichita St. 2 - TU 1

Sports

Montgomery happy with progress The Golden Hurricane wrapped up their spring schedule with the Annual Spring Game. Montgomery was pleased, but acknowledged that more work needed to be done.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor

Men’s Tennis

April 2: Baylor 4 - TU 2 April 7: Tulane 6 - TU 1

Women’s Tennis

April 5: No. 50 Wichita St. 4 - TU 3 April 8: TU 6 - Minnesota 1

Track & Field

Baylor Invitational

3000m(W): Avery Culpepper- 1st Olivia Lopez- 2nd Reagan Hausmann- 3rd Caitlyn Klopfer- 4th 1500m(W): Olivia Galllagher- 2nd 1500m(M): Adam Breaux- 2nd Isaac Dobos- 4th 800m(M): Robert Tully- 2nd Grey Howard- 4th 3000m Steeplechase(M): Dallas Elmore- 2nd 3000m Steeplechase(W): Alyssa Bolliger- 1st Ashley Barnes- 2nd

The men’s football team had their annual Spring Game on Saturday, which was a 138-play scrimmage between the Golden Hurricane offense and defense. The game featured three different quarterbacks — Luke Skipper, Chad President and Will Hefley — combined for 247 yards and three touchdowns. Skipper had the best day of the three, completing 16 passes for 173 and two TDs in the scrimmage.

Four different running backs finished with over 60 yards including Corey Taylor (75), Javon Thomas (74), Ramadi Warren (69) and D’Angelo Brewer (62). The Golden Hurricane had two 1,000 yard rushers last season and will look to continue the strong running game in the fall.

Jesse Brubaker was the top defensive player for the Golden Hurricane’s first team racking up three sacks for 19 yards. Sophomore safety Manny Bunch recorded 10.5 tackles and sophomore linebacker Robert Revels III had the only interception in the game.

In the first drive of the game, the first-team offense moved the ball 75 yards capped off with a two-yard run by Taylor for the touchdown. Skipper led the Golden Hurricane’s third drive which ended with another touch-

down, this time with a 16 yard pass to Justin Hobbs for the score.

The first-team defense started strong with three straight drives where they forced turnovers, either on downs or punts.

“I thought we were consistent at times, but not at the level we need to be. I thought our first defense played well, especially early and were really aggressive in the way we were playing,” said Head Coach Philip Montgomery.

The offense scored a total of six touchdowns and one field goal to end the day, capped by an 80-yard touchdown pass to David Snelling.

“Offensively, the first group established some things running the ball. It was pretty difficult to throw the ball the way the wind was today, but I thought we executed at times in those situations. Overall I was pleased. I thought our effort was good and we got out healthy,” Montgomery said after the game.

The biggest question for the Golden Hurricane is the quarterback position because three-year starter Dane Evans is graduating this season. Montgomery addressed that question at the end of the game yesterday.

“We’re not going to name a starter until we get into fall camp and it will probably be several weeks into fall camp. We’ll see how those guys continue to battle with each other. The competition has been really good.

They’re stepping up, they’re learning a lot, and until we get them under the lights you never know.”

The Golden Hurricane football team will open up their season against Oklahoma State on Sept. 2.

American approves Wichita State expansion The American has decided to expand the size of the conference once more, bringing Missouri Valley Conference member Wichita State into the fold.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor After a unanimous vote by the American Athletic Conference Board of directors, the presidents and chancellors of the member schools, Wichita State (Shockers) was extended an offer to join the American Conference — which they accepted — starting in the fall of 2017. Wichita State will join as a non-football member bringing a total of 15 men’s and women’s sports teams into the conference.

Wichita State is no stranger to Tulsa. The schools were rivals for 51 years in the Missouri Valley Conference before Tulsa left, and they have continued to play each other in various sports throughout the last twenty years.

The addition of Wichita State will increase the profile of the American Conference after Louisville and Rutgers left for the Atlantic Coast Conference and Big Ten respectively.

“We are pleased and proud to welcome Wichita State to The American,” American Commissioner Mike Aresco announced on Friday. “This is a University with a strong athletic and academic heritage which shares our Conference’s commitment to excellence, and we look forward to having them as a member. The University has an exceptionally strong tradition of success in men’s basketball and baseball. The addition of Wichita State in basketball and Olympic sports extends our Conference’s national footprint, enhances our national profile and strengthens our position as a leader in inter-

Monday

collegiate activities.”

Wichita State will bring in 15 total sports — baseball, men’s basketball, women’s basketball, men’s cross country, women’s cross country, men’s golf, women’s golf, softball, men’s tennis, women’s tennis, men’s indoor track and field, women’s indoor track and field, men’s outdoor track and field, women’s outdoor track and field and volleyball.

Wichita State is nationally known for their men’s basketball program. They have won 11 regular-season championships and four tournament crowns. Under their current Head Coach Gregg Marshall, the Shockers have won nearly 75 percent of their games.

In the last five seasons Wichita State has won at least one NCAA tournament game, won 10 total NCAA tournament games and made a Final Four appearance. Any road game in Wichita will be a tough contest as the Shockers have won 59 of 60 at Koch arena in the last four years and have gone 197 consecutive games with crowds of over 10,000.

Tulsa VP & Director of Athletics Derrick Gragg discussed the move in a press conference on Friday.

“The addition of Wichita State to The American Athletic Conference will enhance

“The addition of Wichita State to The American Athletic Conference will enhance our league’s national brand” our league’s national brand especially in the sport of basketball. It not only reinforces the league’s position as one of the top basketball conferences in the country, but it also impacts favorably a number of other sports.

Geographically, for the University of Tulsa, this move makes perfect sense as many of our teams already compete against the Shockers.”

Tuesday 10

Women’s Golf @ Tulsa Country Club

The Shockers forfeit all the NCAA men’s basketball tournament units revenue because they are leaving without giving 24-month notice. There is a $2.5 million cost to join The American Athletic Conference but they will instead have their share of league revenue (projected at $500,000 a year) withheld for five years in order to cover their entrance fee.

As of right now The American does not plan on changing their 18-game conference schedule for basketball, but there will have to be accomodations to account for the addition of 12th team.

“Wichita State is a tremendous addition to the American Athletic Conference,” men’s basketball Head Coach Frank Haith said after the announcement. “We have consistently been one of the top basketball leagues in the country and adding a perennial NCAA Tournament program like Wichita State as our 12th member just reinforces our standing among the nation’s elite. I am excited to welcome Coach Marshall and Wichita State to the family. We have great respect and a long-standing rivalry with the Shockers that will continue to flourish as part of The American.”

Starting on July 1, the Conference will

Wednesday 11

Women’s Golf @ Tulsa Country Club

Softball @ Arkansas 6:00 p.m.

12

No Events

consist of the University of Central Florida, the University of Cincinnati, the University of Connecticut, East Carolina University, the University of Houston, the University of Memphis, Southern Methodist University, the University of South Florida, Temple University, Tulane University, the University of Tulsa, the US Naval Academy and Wichita State University.

Thursday 13

Track & Field @ Mt. SAC Relays

Women’s Tennis @ Kansas 4:00 p.m.

Softball vs. Houston 5:00 p.m.

The Collegian: 9

Justin Guglielmetti is…

the

bleacher creature

March Blandness This news will be a little old by the time you get around to reading it, but the North Carolina Tar Heels were crowned NCAA champions last Monday after they beat the Gonzaga Bulldogs 71-65. I didn’t have much interest invested in the game seeing as my bracket had been busted since day two of the tourney, but I have to say that this was probably one of least memorable March Madness experiences of my lifetime.

There weren’t really any incredibly shocking upsets (unless you count 8 Wisconsin over 1 Villanova in the second round, but those teams were a lot closer in skill than their seeding would suggest) and I only feel like I’m going to remember three of the games a year from now: URI’s epic choke job against Oregon that sent my entire home state into a spiral of depression, UNC’s pitched battle with Kentucky in the Elite Eight and Florida’s Dwyane Wade-esque buzzer beating-victory over Wisconsin (just to make sure he gets his due credit, it was Chris Chiozza, not Wade, who hit the shot).

I was really hoping that Gonzaga could pull off the win in the championship game so they could finally shed their image of overrated tournament underachievers and keep an uninspiring traditional powerhouse like North Carolina from taking down the nets, but we couldn’t even get that. Maybe Joe will finally start agreeing with me that the NBA is better.

Sam Damn-Son Good God, man! Sam Dyson, the closer for the Texas Rangers, has been one of the most effective relief pitchers in baseball over the past two seasons, a ground ball artist who compiled a 2.53 ERA over 145.2 innings in a hitter’s ballpark. But unfortunately, his name is not Mariano Rivera, Trevor Hoffman or Aroldis Chapman, which means that like the 99 percent of other relievers out there, you can expect his performance to be extremely volatile. That’s been the case so far in the young 2017 season, which has already seen Dyson blow his first two save opportunities of the year: the first by giving up four hits and three runs and the second by coughing up five runs in just a third of an inning.

I’m always one for remaining calm in April crises, but the Rangers were one of the most outrageously overperforming teams in MLB last year according to their run differential and Pythagorean Win-Loss record, and they owed much of that success to a rock-solid bullpen. If they want to have any chance of competing against the Astros this year, they’re going to need Dyson and his ilk to really step up their games. Oh, and just for the lulz, the Vacuum Man’s ERA currently sits at 72.00.

Where Have You Gone, Tiger Woods?

I was singing that headline to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson” in case you were wondering, specifically that part about Joe DiMaggio. I always feel pretty guilty about missing Tiger given what a deplorable human being he is in his private life, but damn it if I wouldn’t like to see him in that iconic red polo on Sunday in Augusta again. Jordan Spieth, Rickie Fowler, Rory McIlroy, those guys are all great players to be sure. But I don’t know if we’ll ever see another golfer as dominant and exciting as Woods was in his prime, and that’s a sad thing to admit. I’ve long ago given up hope that Tiger can get to magical 18 (major victories) and tie Jack Nicklaus’s record, but is it really too much to ask for just one more?

April 10 – 16 Saturday

Friday

14

Track & Field @ Bryan Clay Invite

Sunday

15 Women’s Soccer vs. UCO 11:00 a.m.

Men’s Tennis @ OSU 3:00 p.m.

Softball vs. Houston 12:00 p.m.

Softball vs. Houston 5:00 p.m.

Women’s Soccer vs. Little Rock 4:00 p.m.

16

Women’s Golf @ Hammock Beach Conservatory Course

Sports

The Collegian: 10

10 April 2017

NBA Playoff Preview: Golden NHL Playoff Preview: Capitals built to win the Stanley Cup State prepared to dominate

The Warriors and Cavaliers will look to continue their Finals rivalry for the third year running, but don’t be shocked if an underdog emerges from the East. LeBron and company have faltered down the stretch and opened the door for several more contenders.

Justin Guglielmetti Apprentice Editor

Eastern Conference: Savor this moment, everybody: for the first time in at least five years, LeBron James is not a shoo-in to advance to the NBA Finals. It honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense to me why this is happening — LeBron is having his best season since returning to Cleveland, Kyrie Irving has remained healthy and is scoring 25 ppg and Kevin Love is finally playing like something more than a third wheel — but the Cavs just look off.

They’re one of the worst defensive teams in the league, offering little in terms of either rim protection or shutting off lanes to the basket. Even backup point guards can turn attacking Cleveland’s Swiss cheese defense into a veritable layup line. We can’t simply dismiss these guys, of course; they’re the defending champs and LeBron is a top-five all-time player for a reason, he has proven time and again that he can reach another gear in the postseason. They’re my conservative pick to pick to win the East but it will be a hard-fought road and I wouldn’t be at all shocked if they found themselves supplanted.

The Toronto Raptors, currently sitting in the three seed at 49-31, look like the best bet to overtake the Cavaliers should they play them in a seven-game series.

Though Toronto slipped out of the league’s upper echelon around midseason, they are rounding into form with the return of perennially underrated All-Star Kyle Lowry and the acclimation of Serge Ibaka to the team’s balletic, midrange-oriented style of play.

Lowry and DeMar DeRozan can get to the rim at will against even the league’s best defenders and could average 60 points between them against the Cavs. DeMarre Carroll figures to match up against LeBron as well as anyone not named Kawhi Leonard, and the Raptors have enough size in Ibaka, Jonas Valanciunas and emerging talent Lucas Nogueira to prevent Cleveland’s bigs from dominating the boards.

As much as I love my Boston Celtics (and there’s still a chance they get the number 1 seed!) their path to the Finals will be a tough one, as their embarrassing loss to the Cavs at home last week showed. Boston is tenacious defensively and a joy to watch when their motion offense is clicking, but nobody can create anything for himself besides Isaiah Thomas.

Oh, and their leading rebounder is at 6.9 per game. That’s not good! Washington is the last realistic contender in the East and I think totally ignored-MVP candidate John Wall would embarrass Kyrie and average a 30–15, but the Wizards haven’t shown that extra something that makes me think they can emerge from three rounds unscathed.

ing, and rotating with seamless efficiency.

What’s more, they have the perfect failsafe for the playoffs should shots stop falling and their immaculate ball movement become stunted: they’ve now got three unguardable one-on-one scorers.

We haven’t even begun to talk about their defense, which ranks second in the NBA in points allowed per possession.

Those concerns about rim protection that surfaced when Andrew Bogut walked in free agency? They didn’t take into account two things: first, as good as Bogut was, he only played about 20 minutes per game, and second, they compensated by adding one of the most versatile defenders in the league to what was already the league’s most switchhappy and suffocating scheme.

Before he hurt his knee in February, KD was enjoying the best defensive performance of his career, a multi-positional free safety who patrolled both the paint and perimeter like a taller, more athletic version of teammate Draymond Green (a note on that: reports say Durant is due back for the last two games of the regular season and would have already started playing had the Warriors been in more dire straits). Even if they don’t roster a quality traditional big man, nobody is scoring on a healthy Golden State.

Do they have any real competition? Well, you have to think that San Antonio won’t go quietly just based on their pedigree, but for whatever reason — perhaps the retirement of consummate team player Tim Duncan and the emergence of Kawhi Leonard as an individual superstar — the Spurs look a lot less “mind-meldy” than they usually do.

That quality which I discussed a moment ago, where a team breathes as one, used to be San Antonio’s calling card. Now, as good as they still are, the ball seems all too often to stick in an inordinately anti-Spurs like way. They would need to be perfect to beat the Warriors, and that’s a hard thing to bank on even for Gregg Popovich.

Houston and Oklahoma City are too dependent on their individual superstars to pose much of a threat. Perhaps if either was a defensive juggernaut they would stand a chance, but that’s not the case. Chris Paul and Blake Griffin have led the Clippers to another quality season but nobody is scared of their roster come playoff time. Amazingly, the three teams that could give the Warriors the most trouble are those that they would likely play in the first two rounds.

The first is the Utah Jazz, an old-school bruiser of a defensive team that plays slower than any other NBA team. You’re probably not beating the Warriors with Gordon Hayward as your best player, but at least the Jazz can take Steph and KD out of their fastpaced comfort zone.

As for the other two difficult matchups, they are currently battling for the right to play Golden State in the first round: Portland and Denver. I’m personally rooting for the latter so the world gets to see more of Nikola Jokic, the 23-year-old goliath who is

The Washington Capitals have built their roster with the mentality that anything other than a championship would be considered a failure. They’ll have a tough road to the Cup, though, because three of the top teams in the NHL come from their own division.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor

The NHL regular season has ended, every spot is clinched and the only thing left to settle at this point is the first round matchups. The Stanley Cup Playoffs are exciting this season for a couple of reasons. First , after no Canadian teams made the playoffs last season, five out of seven made it this season including the Edmonton Oilers and the Toronto Maple Leafs.

These teams have two of the most exciting players in hockey right now in Connor McDavid and Auston Matthews, who is a shoo-in for the Calder Memorial Award (rookie of the year). Then you have the perennial favorites in the Washington Capitals, Pittsburgh Penguins and the Chicago Blackhawks who have the Cup or bust type of mentality going this season.

Since we won’t know all the final match-

division as a dark horse candidate for the Stanley Cups, but that’s exactly what the Montreal Canadiens are this season. As a reward for winning their division they get to play the New York Rangers who almost have a better record than them.

Montreal is not an offensive juggernaut but relies on a stifling defense to get the job done. If the Canadiens can knock off the Rangers, who they’ve beat three times already this season, they will have a much easier second round matchup against Ottawa or the Maple Leafs before taking on the Metropolitan champion in the Eastern Conference Finals.

West The Chicago Blackhawks are the top team in the West again and are a big threat to win their fourth Stanley Cup in the last decade.

Though the Blackhawks have a lot of rookies on their team this season, they still have

“If the Capitals don’t at least make it to the Finals

this season, expect some sort of structural change...”

one of the most playoff-seasoned teams (they did win a Cup just two years ago, after all). Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook are all proven champions and bring that sense of stability to the younger guys on the team. That expeEast rience and the tandem of Corey Crawford The Washington Capitals are once again and Scott Darling in between the pipes give the Presidents’ Trophy winners, but that Chicago the best leg up in the West, and doesn’t mean a whole lot if they don’t make they will have home ice for the entire Westit past the second round. The Capitals have ern side of the playoffs.

The Minnesota Wild are the second-best not made it past the second round in the last team in the West in terms of points, but have decade even after winning their division struggled in the second half of the season. seven times in that span.

Though they are currently riding a fourThis season, anything other than a Stangame winning streak, those wins have come ley Cup win will be a bust. Alex Ovechkin against some of the bottom dwellers in the is one of the best players in the entire league NHL. and has never won a championship, and the The recipe to their success will be to Capitals traded for Kevin Shattenkirk — continue to make it almost impossible for one of the elite defensemen in the league teams to even shoot the puck (a staple of — as a playoff rental, not with the hope of Head Coach Bruce Boudreau’s teams) and signing him long-term. If the Capitals don’t dominate the neutral zone, something they at least make it to the Finals this season, exdid very well early in this season when they pect some sort of structural change out of were the hottest team in the NHL. Washington for continued playoff failures.

The Anaheim Ducks, the winners of the The Penguins are the defending Stanley Pacific division, started their playoff run Cup Champions and looked primed to comwith bad news.

Their All-Star defensemen pete with the Capitals and potentially knock Cam Fowler will miss two-to-six weeks afthem out just like last season. Any team with ter taking a knee-to-knee hit late last week.

Sidney Crosby is a dangerous team to play Fowler was their top-scoring defensmen because he can single handedly change the and led the Ducks in total ice time so his course of a game.

Injuries will determine their fate in the loss will be felt in their playoff run. The playoffs. Their star defenseman Kris Letang Ducks are built for the postseason though is out for another four to six months and it with a team that relishes the opportunity to will be a challenge for the Penguins to win make their opponents hurt with big hits and it all without him, but they have some other physical play. They should come out of their players coming off injury that will look to series against Calgary relatively unscathed and push for the Conference Finals against shore up their defense for another run.

Finally, the Columbus Blue Jackets, were the Edmonton Oilers.

My pick for the darkhorse in the West the surprise team in the East this season afis the St. Louis Blues. Hear me out before ter finishing eighth in the Metropolitan last you start screaming about the Oilers having season. So three of the five best teams in the McDavid or the Sharks wanting blood after NHL (and the three best teams in the East) falling just short of a Cup last season. The will knock each other out in the first two Blues are the third seed in the Central Divirounds of the playoffs. sion, but are one of the hottest teams in the The biggest advantage that the Blue Jacklast two months. ets have going into the playoffs is Sergei BoIn the beginning of February the Blues the best passing big man I have ever seen, brovsky, their goalie, who has the best save Western Conference: but both are athletic, tall, physically impos- percentage in the league. Championships fired their Head Coach Ken Hitchcock bringWe’ve always known it was inevitable, so ing units who can beat up on the Warriors’ are built on goaltending and Bobrovsky ing in Mike Yeo to take over full time. Since nobody should get too upset about this. Yes small-ball lineups. Neither will beat Golden looks to give the Blue Jackets the edge they then the Blues have gone 20–8–2, behind Russell Westbrook can win a single game State, which will ultimately win the 2017 need in their matchup against the Penguins. only Chicago, Washington and Pittsburgh against anybody by himself, James Harden title, but don’t be surprised if they provide It’s hard to look at a team that won their in total points in that stretch. Jake Allen has improved his is the maestro behind the best offense in the a difficult test. save percentage NBA (at least when he’s from a poor .905 on the floor), and the San to a .951 since Antonio Patriots have Yeo took over, won at least 50 games for which is the best the 22nd time in 24 seapercentage in sons (by the way, one of the league in the those two other years was last two months. the strike-shortened 1999 They have one season when the Spurs of the strongest won the NBA champipower plays in onship anyway), but the the league and West is the Warriors’ to the best penalty lose. kill unit in the Their season has been NHL. Though rockier than some punthey sit behind dits expected — I for one some of the top thought Kevin Durant contenders, the would fit like a glove Blues have made from the get-go and lead themselves a Golden State to a recordthreat in the breaking 74–8 season playoffs.

— but at their best they My final prehave looked positively diction for who unbeatable. The Warriors will win it all play with a synergy that graphic by Elias Brinkman this year is the is far beyond what most Washington Capteams can even dream of We are pretty conservative in our picks because we both picked the team with the best records to win the titles, which is pretty boring. At least in the NHL the Capitals are always underdogs in the playoffs because they kind of suck. This makes picking them as the Stanley Cup Champions a bold prediction. Golden itals for one reareaching. It’s as if all their State is just really good and almost impossible to pick against. son. If not now, personnel think and move when? as one, cutting, screen-

“For the first time in at least five years, LeBron

James is not a shoo-in to advance to the NBA Finals”

ups until late in the day Sunday, this article will instead look at the top three teams in each conference and one dark horse candidate to make the Stanley Cup Finals.

10 April 2017

Commentary

The Collegian: 11

NYT article on Union Schools well-intentioned, misguided

The New York Times article should have mentioned more about property tax and population discrepancies between Union’s district and others to accurately portray the school’s successes.

Giselle Willis Managing Editor Last week, the New York Times featured our town of Tulsa, Oklahoma twice. Once was in an article about how Trump supporters remain stalwart despite standing to lose from Trump’s proposed budget cuts. The other mention came in an article about Oklahoma’s public education system. But don’t cringe with preemptive embarrassment yet.

Besides a brief note about Oklahoma’s dismal education funding, the article is a glowing review of Union Public Schools.

I appreciate the intent of this article. The writer, David L. Kirp, is defending public schools against Secretary of Education Betsy Devos’ preferred alternatives: voucher and charter schools. He also highlights the spectacular work Union is doing regarding its community schools. These schools are part of a 2006 initiative to provide equitable opportunities for students of low socioeconomic status. The Union community has unified behind these centers, which offer a variety of after-school extracurriculars, food and clothing delivery, counseling, and a day care center for teenage students with babies.

Union deserves recognition for its programming, but the writer’s enthusiasm made Union’s success seem unrelated to its finances. He said this is what can be achieved when a public school “takes the time to invest in a culture of high expectations, recruit top-flight professionals and develop ties be-

tween schools and the community.”

This advice is always worthwhile; however, he made little to no mention of Union’s large property tax revenue and smaller population. To expect similar results but ignore the financial discrepancy between Union’s district and say, the Tulsa Public Schools district, is unfair. To make it sound as though Tulsa Public Schools’ problems could be solved by simply taking the time to invest in students is an injustice.

First, a fun look at property tax revenue.

Basically, if your house is worth a lot, you’re paying more taxes on it, and those taxes specifically go to your neighborhood school. So if you live in a richer neighborhood, then the schools near you will have more money than schools in poorer neighborhoods.

Now, when I cross reference Union’s zip codes with the city of Tulsa’s real estate data,

it looks like the most expensive housing in Tulsa falls within the Union school district.

Houses with the 74137 zip code are in the Union district and sell for a median price of $278,000. In general, houses in south Tulsa sell for more and are in the Union district; houses in north Tulsa sell for less and are in the Tulsa Public Schools district. Houses with the 74130 zip code in north Tulsa sell for a median price of $30,000.

Oklahoma, in an attempt to counter this discrepancy, uses a special formula when allocating state aid (whereas other states do much less in this regard; here’s looking at you, Texas). This formula accounts for property taxes and gives less state aid to districts with higher property values.

The property tax effect is, in fact, strong enough that when Google opened a data center in Pryor, Oklahoma, area property

graphic by Elias Brinkman

Independent of local aid from property taxes, Union’s smaller student base allows it to spend more money on each student’s education than Tulsa Public Schools.

values skyrocketed to the point that Pryor Public Schools is now one of 35 (out of 516) school districts in the state that does not qualify for any state aid.

Although Union consequently receives less state aid than Tulsa, each Union student sees more of that money because there are fewer of them. For the 2016-2017 school year, Union has around 15,960 students and Tulsa has about 38,900. During the 20152016 school year, for example, Union got to spend hundreds of dollars more per student.

It spent around $2,557 of state aid per student, while Tulsa spent $2,180 per student.

Thus, in terms of the property tax revenue/ student population ratio, it’s not surprising that Union has managed to do pretty well for itself. The NYT writer seemed impressed that Union Public Schools only spends $7,605 of state and local money combined on each student per year. Indeed, New York spends three times as much. However, New York is also one of the states that spends the most on education because it is also one of the states with the highest cost of living.

Granted, the NYT article also mentioned how “contributions from the community modestly augment the budget” and that the 2016 graduation rate for Union is substantially higher than it was “when the community was wealthier” in 2007. Yet these community contributions cannot be overlooked.

It is because the Union district could afford to invest in infrastructure back in 2007 that we can see its success now.

Also, last week Tulsa Public Schools Superintendent Deborah Gist and district officials discussed ways of offsetting project budget cuts for the upcoming school year.

Possibilities include consolidating three elementary schools into one, adding “furlough days” — meaning two fewer days in the school year — and consolidating and cutting athletic programs. Union simply has not faced cuts to that degree.

While the article says Union’s “not-so-secret sauce” is to “start out with an academically solid foundation, then look for ways to keep getting better,” I think there’s more to the sauce than that. I don’t want teachers and administrators to get discouraged when they’re repeatedly told to just work harder.

The real villain here is education funding systems, not the individuals struggling to work with what they’ve been given.

Proposed law would update archaic HIV/AIDS education

As the Oklahoma Congress looks into issues of sex and sexual crimes, the focus needs to more seriously shift toward HIV/AIDS education, where change is needed the most.

Raven Fawcett Apprentice Editor Oklahoma’s Congress has taken a long and searching look at policies about intimate topics such as sex, pornography, human trafficking and rape during its current legislative session. Some laws, such as one concerning human trafficking, have been updated. Others, such as a bill on the effects of pornography, are stalled in the House or Senate. With so much buzz about the birds and the bees, it seems a fitting time for Congress to update Oklahoma’s archaic laws concerning HIV/AIDS. HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus and is spread through some body fluids of infected people such as blood, breast milk, vaginal and rectal fluids and semen.

HIV-positive body fluid has to come into contact with open wounds or membranes (think mouth, vagina, and so on) in order to spread. HIV can lead to AIDS, which stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.

HIV/AIDS tears down the body’s immune system, causing infections to become more common and more serious. HIV/AIDS is not untreatable, and with proper care, the infection can be treated with medication and

normal life can go on. Scientists have yet to find a way to “cure” HIV/AIDS, and once diagnosed, a person will always have the virus or syndrome. That does not mean that HIV-positive people will infect everyone (again, it’s relatively difficult to casually infect others), and HIV-positive people can still lead long and healthy lives.

There are a number of laws that deal with HIV in one way or another. One law focuses on the knowing infection of another, and there are precautions in place for health workers who encounter HIV in their line of work and need to be tested from time to time. These laws are straightforward ways

most exactly what a proposed update on the law seeks to do.

Senate Bill 246 puts an emphasis on the statistics and facts known about HIV/AIDS, setting a higher standard for education and requiring medically accurate information for educational lessons. It strikes out the line concerning homosexuality as a leading cause of contracting HIV and adds a section that requires schools to inform students that the best thing to do after engaging in risky behavior (sex, needle use, and similar acts), is to get tested regularly and to stay aware of their own health. The regulations lessen the emphasis on drug use and promiscuity as

“This bill is a necessary update to the modern discussion surrounding HIV/AIDS.” to ensure that people can remain safe and healthy when facing the risk of infection. In terms of education, though, HIV laws are useless at best.

Currently, the law does not specify a great many things about HIV/AIDS education in Oklahoma. Students must receive some sort of education on the prevention of AIDS, but that information is left mostly to the discretion of the schools. AIDS education is limited and cannot be allowed to drag on for weeks or months in schools. That education must teach students that homosexual activity, promiscuity and drug use involving needles increase the likelihood of a person becoming infected. The law goes so far as to demand that students learn that the best way to avoid becoming infected is to avoid the above behaviors.

While this is true, the law creates a sense of shame around these activities. Moreover, much like abstinence-only sex education, telling people not to do things simply doesn’t work. The most effective way to go about the problem is to inform people of the risks of an act and then tell them how to best protect themselves. Miraculously, this is al-

morally wrong, and shift the focus instead to meeting students where they are at and keeping them safe as they grow.

This bill is a necessary update to the modern discussion surrounding HIV/AIDS. The update would promote acceptance of the past and honest education and celebrate a future that is closer than ever to achiev-

exclusive to the LGBT community, but it is highly associated with it, and so acceptance of HIV-positive people and their illness is often difficult for society. To move forward, Oklahoma needs to accept the fact that HIV can happen to anyone, and take out the language specifying homosexualty, and not any other sexuality, as a leading factor in contracting HIV. Oklahoma’s HIV education laws are part of a homophobic system that treats gay men with undue suspicion. A prime example of this is the Federal Drug Administration’s recommended regulations for blood donation. They suggest that no blood be accepted from men who have had sex with men in the past 12 months, or from women who have had sex with men who have had sex with men in the past 12 months. It would make sense, except for the amount of screening that donated blood goes through, and the fact that people of any sexual orientation can get HIV. Lesbians, bisexuals, and heterosexuals are all vulnerable groups. I repeat: straight people can get sick too.

Homophobic policies at the state and federal level are all the more reason for Oklahoma’s education laws to be updated. HIV is stigmatized, and a large part of that stigma comes from homophobia. To educate chil-

“Oklahoma’s HIV education laws are part of a homophobic system that treats gay men with undue suspicion.”

ing equality. No one should be uninformed about the risks involved in the decisions they might make.

Let’s not kid ourselves here, either. “No one” very much includes same-gender attracted youth who could benefit from knowing more about HIV, as the virus is a large part of their history and its stigma will likely continue to haunt them. The HIV/AIDS crisis of the late 20th century was rooted in society’s reluctance to face an illness that devastated the gay community. HIV is not

dren, to raise them with the tools and knowledge to protect themselves, is vital. To teach them that independently of judgement about their sexual orientation is arguably just as vital. Children should not be ashamed of who they are, and HIV should be addressed seriously, thoughtfully and without the social stigma of its history. We cannot divorce present attitudes towards HIV from the history of the virus, but we can create a future that does not place the same phobias and prejudices on those who are HIV-positive.

The Collegian: 12

Commentary

10 April 2017

LEGISLATIVE

DIGEST

Raven Fawcett Apprentice Editor

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The Legislative Digest looks at the bills and resolutions passed

by Oklahoma’s state legislators.

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If Oklahoma’s Congress can pass legislation, you can pass your classes. Here’s a look at the local legislation, this week focusing on recently passed bills and resolutions, celebrating the triumphs of bureaucracy and residents of this great state.

HB1428: The Handgun Carry Military Age Exemption Act is a convoluted title for a common sense update on a law pertaining to handguns. Previously, only people over 21 could carry handguns legally in Oklahoma. The update allows people in or retired from the military to carry a handgun if they are over 18, provided that they meet the same qualifications (training, competence and licensing) as their 21-and-older counterparts. If people are old enough to fight in a war, they’re old enough to handle a handgun at home so long as the state finds them capable of using the gun safely.

HB1875: Schools can now donate excess cafeteria food and other edible goods to nonprofit organizations if the food passes local and federal guidelines for food donations (guidelines that typically ensure that food is okay to eat) thanks to House Bill 1875. The bill also includes a clause deferring culpability should the food spoil or cause harm to consumers, except in cases where the people involved were “grossly negligent” or committed otherwise reckless behavior. In other words, grandmothers everywhere were delighted to find that saying “waste not, want not,” had not been a pointless exercise, and that food can go to those who want it instead of garbage cans that contribute to the massive amounts of food waste in this country.

SB372: Insurance paperwork can now be delivered and signed electronically. Consent is important not just between physical partners, but business partners as well — the company must inform the insured persons about the programs and details needed for electronic paperwork. Beyond that, so long as the insured and insurance company make a good faith effort to communicate clearly and send paperwork accurately, the world can save a few trees as insurance shifts to a more electronic approach.

HR1010: The House passed a resolution applauding the relationship between Oklahoma and Académie d’Amiens. The Académie d’Amiens, of Picardy-area France, partners with Oklahoma to promote international education. The partnership includes an exchange program that allows participants to travel from the US to France or from France to the US, practice their language skills and gain new experiences. There’s comfort in knowing that international cooperation is holding steady even when our nation is uncertain about its president and its future.

HB1887: Congress passed and Governor Mary Fallin approved of a bill on April 6, 2017. Previously, a child would have to be related to their potential adoptive parent or to have lived with the unrelated potential adoptive parent for two or more years in order for the potential parents to access their medical and social history without approval from the state or the biological parents. The bill decreases the time a child must live in an unrelated prospective parent’s home for the parents to freely access the child’s information from a minimum of two years to a minimum of 12 months.

SR9: A new Poet Laureate has arrived! Dr. Jeanetta Calhoun Mish wrote three books, an essayist and poet and teacher, earned her PhD at the University of Oklahoma in American Studies. She is also the newest Poet Laureate, though not the first. The position has been filled since 1923. A new Poet Laureate is appointed by the governor every odd year, and the poet retains their title for those two years. Dr. Jeanetta Calhoun Mish will remain Oklahoma’s Poet Laureate until the end of 2018. Congress recognized her hard work and position in Senate Resolution 9, a formal way of noting her dedication to and talent for poetry and the arts.

SR12: The Seiling Lady Cats are officially back-to-back Class A basketball state champions. Congress not only knows that, but passed a resolution to inform the citizens of Oklahoma of their achievements. If this were a comprehensive test on knowledge of current events in Oklahoma, Congress would at least ace the sports section.

TU’s pet policy is needlessly restrictive, outdated

TU’s housing department should offer a pet deposit option that would allow pets but still protect against potential problems.

Nathan Hinkle Student Writer The pet policy on the University of Tulsa campus can be seen as a strict policy without a strict monitoring system. This is especially true in apartments. The current laws according to Campus Living E-guidefor apartments say that “no animals are allowed except fish in up to a 20 gallon tank.” These rules make the apartments a pet-free zone.

This does not apply to service animals under the Americans With Disabilities Act and its amendments. However, residents of West Park apartments are able to apply for pets.

While these laws seem to be very strict, there is no real enforcement structure behind this claim. There is currently a $500 dollar fine if caught with a pet but without any form of enforcement, these housing codes don’t have that much value. In an attempt to better remedy this code, there are two potential options. Pets could be allowed with a fee that could go to future cleaning and maintenance or the housing department could institute a set of checks in apartments to see if people are breaking the rules.

Through the first potential housing change, people could move in pets to their apartments after paying a small fee. Without the fear of a potential fine, people could be allowed to bring their pets to campus instead of having to give them away or leave them at their original residence.

Apartments are also more spacious and

spread out than other living situations so it is likely that animals would not get in the way of other residents. If the housing department is unable to act upon this code, it could be argued that the code therefore should not be in place.

However, there are reasons why the pet policy is in place. Pets can cause a series of problems such as allergies, noise and destruction. In the University apartments, one’s neighbors could be potentially allergic to any number of pets, causing them trouble if they were to come in contact with these allergens. While it is true that different apartments are not as closely connected as areas such as dormitories, the risk is there.

The noise made by a barking dog could be distracting or annoying to another resident on the chance that they were able to hear it. There is also the risk that the walls and carpet inside the apartment could be damaged and need to be replaced. The pet policy could be seen as a countermeasure to any issues involved with animals.

In the future, the housing department should revamp their housing policy to include more animals allowed in apartments besides a 20 gallon tank for fish. In allowing other pets into the apartments, people are allowed to better make themselves at home.

However, there should be a limit on which animals are allowed.

For example, animals that live in caged environments such as fish, gerbils and lizards should be allowed because they are the less likely to cause any sort of problem. Larger animals such as dogs and cats should be allowed under the idea that one’s potential neighbors are okay with it and it doesn’t cause any problems. This could be done through a system in which the resident with a pet must get a signature of approval from their nearest neighbors before one can bring in any large animals. People with pets would additionally be liable for any potential damage to the carpet or the walls.

The fine for having undocumented animals would still stay in place but people could pay a much smaller fee upfront. This fee allows people to bring in their pets and provides a potential reserve of money for the potential additional cleaning costs once the

student leaves. In order to enforce this fine, housing could institute a monthly check of apartments which would be done by a nonstudent housing employee. Through this

new set of codes, people are allowed to have their pets with them and people who are not fond of animals are not bothered in any way.

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Hannah Kloppenburg managing editor

Giselle Willis Cuauhtle news editor

Michaela Flonard sports editor

Matt Rechtien variety editor

Trenton Gibbons commentary editor

James Whisenhunt satire editor

Sam Chott photo & graphics editor

Elias Brinkman

business & advertising manager

Paul Moses

social media manager

Kayleigh Thesenvitz web manager

Sam Chott

distribution managers

Elise McGouran Adam Lux and Trenton Gibbons

@TUCollegian

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Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the entire Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

Variety

10 April 2017

The Collegian: 13

Father John Misty tackles broad concepts in “Pure Comedy” Two years since the groundbreaking record “I Love You, Honeybear,” Josh Tillman creates an album that’s less musically advanced but lyrically outstanding.

Ethan Veenker Apprentice Editor David Foster Wallace, one of America’s great modernist writers and an outspoken critic of irony in American culture, would have absolutely hated Father John Misty. A pseudonym for musician Josh Tillman, Father John Misty is the embodiment of irony.

Years of sincere music under the name “J. Tillman” and a period of drumming for Fleet Foxes landed him in 2012 with “Fear Fun,” a fun folk album that provided humorous insights into drugs, misogynism and “hipster culture.” Three years later, “I Love You, Honeybear” was released to overwhelming acclaim, and for good reason. Focusing mostly around the courtship and marriage to his wife, Emma, “I Love You, Honeybear” is one of the most sincere albums in existence, while simultaneously keeping the cynical views that were established for Father John Misty’s character in “Fear Fun.” Last Thursday at midnight, instead of the scheduled release date of Friday, Father John Misty released his third album: “Pure Comedy.”

It’s the first order of business to address what exactly Father John Misty is. “I Love You, Honeybear” brought him his most mainstream acknowledgement to date, but that album isn’t entirely a love-based record.

There are plenty of sardonic commentaries

of man” and then step offstage to scoff at another 30-something white guy with finetrimmed facial hair that sings about, say, a cultural divide between American generations. As I’ve previously stated, Father John Misty is a painfully self-aware representation of irony and cynicism.

Yet, just like his previous album, Tillman lets slivers of sincerity slide their way inbetween the cracks of irony. The 13-minute track titled “Leaving LA,” for example, seems to be as personal as we’ve heard Tillman get through the Father John Misty moniker. Yes, in this regard, “Pure Comedy” can be compared to “I Love You, Honeybear,” only that it’s half-an-hour longer.

The 13-track titan of a record clocks in at one hour and 14 minutes.

The album starts with a sudden blare of sampled fanfare before strange radio noises intervene and a somber piano takes place alongside Tillman’s voice, singing the first words: “The comedy of man starts like this.” Thus, the tone of the album is set.

Where “Fear Fun” dealt with a myriad of problems amidst the issues of the 20-something and “I Love You, Honeybear” dealt primarily with love and Tillman’s recent marriage, it seems that “Pure Comedy” is going to be rather introspective and political in nature. And that it is. The first track, also titled “Pure Comedy,” is sung from an outside perspective observing the human race. “Their religions are the best, they worship themselves yet they’re totally obsessed,” “their languages just serve to confuse them,” “they build fortunes poisoning their offspring.” These three lines are just a taste of the tongue-in-cheek pretension that Tillman delivers in this song. It’s important to remember here that, while Father John

“Father John Misty is a carefully curated embodiment of pretension and 21st century apathy ... ” through tracks like “Bored in the USA” and “Holy Shit.” The record performs an interesting task of combining Josh Tillman with Father John Misty, perhaps to the detriment of “Pure Comedy.” What I mean by this is that the critics of “Pure Comedy” don’t seem to understand that Father John Misty is a character; Josh Tillman doesn’t wake up every morning sharing the same thoughts as the ones his character sings on stage. No, Father John Misty is a carefully curated embodiment of pretension and 21st century apathy through which Tillman can express himself, ironically or not. It’s a shame to see “Pure Comedy” being written off as “another white guy with nothing new to say,” because it’s clear that people with these opinions shamelessly misunderstand what Father John Misty is. If anything, he’s on their side. He’s absolutely the type of guy who would sing a song about “the comedy

Misty is a character, Tillman uses him to express genuine concerns. Granted, he does so through cynical and humorous ways, but given his interview presence and the more serious, somber tones of his last musical project, J. Tillman, the face value of the lyrics vaguely seem to represent Tillman’s actual views.

It doesn’t slow down with the first track, however. Thinking back to David Foster Wallace, the famed crusader against irony, we come to the second track: “Total Entertainment Forever.” It’s definitely the most musically interesting song on the album, which is a bit of a shame considering it’s placed rather early on. The acoustic lead and restrained drumset keep a constant and rather energetic beat alongside the poppy piano. The refrain finds itself backed by a lovable trio of saxophones, and the intermeshing of these elements make the song

“Pure Comedy” is a welcome addition to the Father John Misty discography.

Courtesy Sub Pop Records

overwhelmingly cheerful. It’s ironic, as the song laments the fall of human culture to mindless entertainment, making various references to David Foster Wallace’s famous novel “Infinite Jest.”

With that track out of the way, we’re left with an unfortunate truth. Father John Misty’s previous albums were always rich lyrically but also musically. “Pure Comedy” seems to be the weakest album from a purely musical stance that he has yet to release.

This isn’t to fault the album, necessarily; it’s clear that the real treasure lies within the lyrics. It is slightly disappointing, however, to know that you’ve crested the mountain peak with “Total Entertainment Forever.”

Most of the other 11 tracks are very balladesque in nature, containing perhaps only of a piano or an acoustic guitar, a drumset and Tillman’s smooth voice. There are a few tracks, like “Things it Would Have Been Helpful to Know Before the Revolution” and “Smoochie” which have lucid moments that break the monotonous musical theme of the record, but it can mostly be lumped into a general “minimalist folk” description.

That all being said, “Pure Comedy” is a fantastic album. The understated instrumentation works fabulously alongside the shamelessly overstated lyrical content.

Tracks like “Leaving LA,” “Two Wildly Different Perspectives” and “So I’m Growing Old on Magic Mountain” just wouldn’t work if they were paired with an instrumental performance that made me want to dance. It’s clear that Tillman wants you to listen, because in this album more than any other he seems to peel the ironic curtain back a little bit. He’s known for getting

bored with things rather quickly (as stated several times in “Fear Fun”), so is it unfair to assume that the Father John Misty character is undergoing some plastic surgery?

Perhaps, but such conjecture is impossible to definitively place for the time.

We are instead left to attempt to digest this ridiculously long record. “Pure Comedy” is daunting, it’s dense, it’s filled to the brim with references and double-meanings that one can’t help but think that Tillman certainly had David Foster Wallace in mind while creating the record. The track “The Memo” ends with a few terrifyingly selfreferential lines: “do you usually listen to music like this?” with robotic voices repeating things like “music is my life,” “this is totally the song of my Summer” and just the word “irony” over and over. It’s amazing how Tillman manages to be so simultaneously subtle and blunt through Father John Misty.

Maybe David Foster Wallace was right and irony really is a leech on our society.

Maybe he’s wrong. Either way, I can’t help but find myself enjoying this album. I can’t help but feel that, after awhile, I may be a bit better as a person because of it. I’ve always been interested in what Tillman has to say, and his ability to make me laugh and cringe has not gotten any less potent. I say find yourself a dark room and an hour-anda-half of free time to listen to this one. Plop yourself down, grab some snacks and find a nice corner to stare at. Try to look past the painfully pretentious vocalist and search for the meaning that concurrently rests on the surface and just beneath it.

of the presentation was followed by eight or nine students performing a beautiful Chinese dance. CSA’s presentation was definitely the most visually stunning. I would say that I didn’t learn very much about Confucius from it, though, other than that he was a teacher.

AIS as a group presented “Ha Ha Land” to close out the show, an act based on the popular movie “La La Land” which featured music and dancing from the movie and a really impressive juggling act.

The program also listed Persian Student Association and Indian Student Association, but these groups didn’t appear onstage.

While the judges deliberated, AIS advisor David Kobel presented AIS president Aiken Sujana with an award for International Student of the Year. The judges returned to announce that Chinese Student Association won first place and Vietnamese Student Association came in second.

After the show, food was provided in the lobby. It looked delicious but I wasn’t able to fight through the crowd to try any of it

before I had to leave.

As usual, I was really impressed by the scope of AIS’ organizational and promotional skills. If you watched their videos, you’d think they had hired a professional ad agency. The brochure I was given upon entry looked like it belonged at a professional theatrical production.

International Night was a little less engaging than other AIS events I’ve attended (for example, last semester’s International Night Market, which was an absolute blast).

It also suffered from a couple minor issues with lighting and sound — some of the audio for videos shown between acts was barely understandable.

However, in terms of educating the audience about TU’s different international student groups and their icons, showcasing the talents of international students and celebrating the diversity on TU campus in a welcoming and inclusive way, International Night was hugely successful. I’m always impressed with AIS’ work and this event was no exception.

AIS International Night celebrated “World Icons” with creative student presentations Association of International Students hosted a competition composed of performances intended to teach the audience about “World Icons.”

Hannah Kloppenburg Editor-in-Chief Last Saturday, Association of International Students aimed to educate and entertain TU with International Night: World Icons.

International Night was hosted by the ever-charismatic Reeza Redzuan Rosnan (who I feel like I’ve gotten to know simply because I’ve watched him host so many campus events recently). The night started off with a bang as Rosnan presented a comedic rendition of “All That Jazz,” complete with AIS-themed lyrics, sultry dancing and theatrics.

The event consisted of a number of performances by different international student associations on campus. The theme of this year’s International Night was “World Icons,” so each group was tasked with presenting a person or thing who acted as an icon in their country. A panel of judges consisting of Jacqueline Caldwell, Steve Denton, Istvan Feher and Pat Cawiezell picked first- and second-place winners.

First up was “Reach for the Stars,” a presentation by Malaysian Student Association about Sheikh Muszaphar, the first Malaysian astronaut. Members of MSA acted out the equally heartwarming and heart-wrenching story of “Mus” and his biggest supporter, his brother Sheikh Mustapha.

Vietnamese Student Association followed with “The Legend of the Sacred Cakes,” my personal favorite of the night. They acted out the story of three princes — one who

was very physically fit (wearing a muscle suit) one who was very rich (wearing a spiky red wig and a bunch of bling) and one who was poor and modest. The brothers were required to bring their father the best food in the kingdom so that he could decide who would become the next king. The poorest son brought his father Bahn Chung Bahn Giay, a cake which became the signature dish of the Vietnamese people. The students from VSA acted out the legend with a great balance of humor, taste and education, and I really enjoyed it.

Ottilia Master presented for West African Student Association, speaking on Africa’s many countries and beautiful array of natural features and highlighting founding fathers from North, East, West, Central and South Africa. Though this presentation was maybe the least visually pleasing, it was definitely the most effective in terms of education.

The next act, a reading of Maya Angelou’s poem “Still I Rise,” was presented by the Association of Black Collegiates. The presenters represented a number of marginalized groups including those with disabilities, racial minorities and LGBTQ+ Americans, attempting to convey the diversity of America and the tenacity of these groups in the face of oppression.

Chinese Student Association presented Confucius as their icon. They first brought a student dressed on Confucius onstage with four very small, cute kids from the Tulsa Chinese School, where he sat with the children and had them repeat phrases back to him in Mandarin. The kids were obviously very excited to be onstage, and they got so into repeating the phrases into the microphone that they nearly knocked Confucius over — this got a laugh from everyone, because who doesn’t like kids? This segment

photo by Luke Lau

The Chinese Student Association won first prize at AIS’ International Night.

Variety

The Collegian: 14

10 April 2017

Clueless Concert Review: Panic! at the Disco Panic! at the Disco, MisterWives and Saint Motel were rather underwhelming last week at the BOK Center.

Ethan Veenker Apprentice Editor Last Tuesday, April 4, I found myself heading last-minute to the BOK Center to experience a concert for three bands I’d never listened to. They were, in order of performance, Saint Motel, MisterWives and Panic! at the Disco.

The concert began at 7:00 p.m. and my friend and I arrived at 7:05, leaving us to feel like we’d already missed half of Saint Motel’s abhorrently short set. It ended at around 7:30, and I honestly don’t remember much of the performance. The songs all seemed like straightforward pop ballads. They did heavily utilize a saxophone and trumpet, however, so that was actually a real treat. In the second to last song the saxophonist went on a drawn-out solo that I could have listened to all night. I looked the band up before the set, and the first line of their Wikipedia article defines their genre as “dream pop” and “indie prog.” Hear it from me, those genres don’t describe even a single facet of the music I heard that night.

There was nothing progressive or even indie about the performance by any stretch of the definitions. “Pop” seems rather appropriate, but the “dream” aspect was nowhere to be found with the band. Dream pop refers far more to acts like Panda Bear and Ariel Pink: cozy, bedroom beats with drawn out instrumentation and vocalization. To put it bluntly, Saint Motel sounded nothing like that.

The frontman of the band was quite irritating. He was the type that wanted everyone at his concert to be jumping and bumping and genuinely enjoying his set — which is fine, but the way he went about doing was just angering. He had us shake the hands of the people around us, knighted them as our “dancing buddies,” and made us all turn on our phone flashlights so we could throw our arms up to the beat. Let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like watching an entire arena throwing their fists in the air all at different tempos; the poor drummer probably had to keep his eyes shut.

They ended their set with a song that I actually recognized, “My Type.” The best part of the song by far is the saxophone and I can’t even recall any other details from its performance. I do remember how he demanded everyone stand up and dance, which I did not oblige.

The next band onstage was quite a bit better: MisterWives. That’s not to say that they were an amazing band, but their songs carried far more character. They had a female vocalist who reminded me of a Miley Cyrus with an attention-deficit order that ran across the stage so much the spotlight operator couldn’t keep up with her. A pretty ridiculous thing that she and her band kept doing was entirely over-the-top dancing.

Like, some serious headbanging was taking place on that stage; it didn’t quite fit the tone of their music, at all. They seemed to think they were going way harder than they truly were.

Despite that musical misinterpretation, however, MisterWives had probably the tightest set of the night. A couple of songs towards the middle of the set felt fairly R&B-inspired, or like a modern equivalent of soul music, characterized by the

It could be to your advantage to study a band before attending their concert.

understated guitar and the heavy focus on keyboard and vocals. Somewhere in there, they covered Chance the Rapper’s “Same Drugs.” For those songs, I was truly enjoying myself. As the set progressed, however, the band moved into another collection of guitar-driven, forgettable pop songs.

The vocalist took a few intermissions to discuss the “bonding power of music,” but after her last interruption they began the final song of their set. It was generic as the rest of the second half of their set had been, so I don’t remember any specific details from it save for another intermission they took toward its end. This time it wasn’t to preach at us, though, but rather to perform an awesome collaborative drum performance. The bassist, guitarist and vocalist were all given floor toms and sticks and, with these, they played a game of call-andreturn with the drummer and percussionist.

They kept a good rhythm going and it felt like a good way to end the set before they picked up their instruments again, played something real guitar-y, then walked off stage.

Throughout both of the described performances there was an insidious amount of references to Tulsa. Constantly, the vo-

minutes of nothing happened. After those few minutes of nothing, another ten minutes of nothing happened, except during these latter minutes there was a ten-minute counter on the large screens surrounding the stage. It was around this time that I realized how thoroughly surrounded I was by 12-year-old girls. This should have been my hint as to what Panic! at the Disco was going to sound like, but in the moment it was only confusing me. Like, “what are all these tweens doing here?”

The only time I’ve seen bands with counters on big screens like that were from the times I’d been shipped off to church camp over the summer. Before every service they’d attempt to pep us up with a countdown to some awful Christian rock band.

When Panic!’s counter reached an end and they began to perform, you couldn’t have convinced me that they weren’t an awful Christian rock band: the sound was practically the same.

I mean, I always knew that Panic! at the Disco was this hugely popular band, so I at least expected some redeeming factor to the performance. And yet, there was none, at least not musically. It was bland throughand-through; each song felt the exact same

“It was around this time I realized how thoroughly surrounded I was by 12-year-old-girls.”

calists would scream something along the lines of “lemme hear you sing Tulsa!” into the mic, often met with little reciprocation.

They did, however, seem to be excited to tour with Panic! at the Disco. I suppose by some definition, that’s true success. Saint Motel mentioned how the last time they’d been in Tulsa they’d performed in the little ol’ Cain’s Ballroom, and now look at them playing in this huge arena. MisterWives made a similar observation, saying how they’d come from the Vanguard to the “bock” center. I may not enjoy their music, but good on those bands for succeeding and seeming to genuinely enjoy themselves on stage.

After both openers had retired, a few

with the exact same verse-verse-chorusverse-chorus-bridge-chorus-chorus and I just wanted to fall asleep. I won’t fault him, the frontman was a very talented vocalist and he knew how to put on a show, but his music was just so unstimulating. It was obvious “pretty-boy rock,” most clearly determined by the droves of tweens that would literally turn and scream into each other’s face at the start of every song in the set.

On the subject of him putting on a good show, however, it’s clear that this is a very expensive tour. Between the pyrotechnics and the massive screens playing CGI to fit every song, a lot of money and effort went into this thing. In that regard alone, it was entertaining. I suppose I can also appre-

graphic by Elias Brinkman

ciate the variety of the set; he didn’t only play boring songs. He covered a Billy Joel track at one point and performed the cover of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” from the Suicide Squad soundtrack.

At one point, the screens behind the band played this weird short film as the frontman secretly walked around the entire outer edge of the arena and stepped out in front of our seats, where he approached a hidden piano and played a total of one song before hopping off. One of the most absurd images of that night was him sitting at that white and silver bedazzled piano and singing into a golden microphone. After that, he waded his way through the crowd while singing a song I assume was called “Death of a Bachelor,” which wasn’t too bad. As he made his way to the stage, he gave a lot of the audience members hugs or high-fives, dropping comments like “nice shirt” and “I really like that phone case,” so he at least seems like a genuinely nice guy.

To conclude, the entire experience of the night left me a little underwhelmed. Truly, though, that understates my discontent with the experience. The most tragic victim of the night was the guitar: boringly implemented in almost every song in every set with fourchord progressions or one-chord drives that served only as a cushion for the even less intuitive vocalizations and beats that were to be layered on top of it. When the Panic! pretty boy said something along the lines of “rockstars aren’t supposed to smile, but fuck it” it served as a reminder as to why rock and guitar music are slowly fading away. Not once in the night did I want to exclaim “oh, I really like that guitar!” and that should really say something. At some point, these pseudo-rock bands are going to realize that they don’t even need the guitar anymore and will dump that underutilized instrument on the side of the interstate. I’m not lamenting the natural progression of art and music — I’m not part of the “I was born in the wrong generation” crowd — I’m only wishing that we could give the guitar a more dignified funeral; something that doesn’t resemble thousands of people trampling over each other to touch the shoulder of some random guy singing some boring song.

“Steeped: The Art of Tea” leaf-s viewers with lukewarm impressions “Steeped” allows artists the chance to examine how tea impacts human lives and culture, though only a small number of the pieces went beyond a cursory glance.

James Whisenhunt Commentary Editor

photo by James Whisenhunt

The pieces ranged from generic to creative, like this mug weaved from newspaper clippings.

108 Contemporary recently opened “Steeped: The Art of Tea,” part of the Oklahoma Center for the Humanities’ year-long series based on cultural representations of food. As the name implies, “Steeped” is a collection of pieces inspired by tea, a theme that most artists took fairly literally.

The collection was comprised mostly of different types of tea kettles, made out of wood, various metals and even rolled newspapers. Though the general idea was the same for many artists, the inspiration was often different. One kettle shaped like a Native American woman was meant to be a reflection on the artist’s heritage. Another piece, a large and slender kettle made of paper, was meant to represent her tendency to drink tea while she reads.

Unfortunately, not many artists took the theme beyond making a kettle or a cup.

108 Contemporary is a fairly small venue, so giving the pieces enough space to themselves means that there weren’t more than 30 pieces to see.

A few pieces in the exhibit really stood out as unique ways to represent the position of tea in life. One video piece focused on a man brewing and drinking tea as he drew pictures of an old home he was forced to leave. The video ends with the tea slipping out of his hand and ruining the drawings, reinforcing the idea that he must move beyond the memories of a place he can’t return to.

Another excellent piece was a 16x17 grid of tea and coffee stains on pieces of paper, collected over the course of 144 days from drinking alone or with friends. The sheer size of the grid alone was enough to emphasize how these drinks can bring people together and facilitate conversations.

Though a lot of the pieces in “Steeped” are surface-level expressions of how tea affects daily life, the impressive pieces are enough to justify heading downtown for the exhibit. Admission to 108 Contemporary is free, and “Steeped” is open until May 21.

Variety

10 April 2017

The Collegian: 15

“Your Name:” A Review Gilcrease hosts “Black Bodies”

“Your Name” was a fun movie with supernatural elements and fantastic characterization.

Nick Rethford Apprentice Editor

Circle Cinema saw the release of “Your Name” this past weekend, much to the delight of every anime fanatic in Tulsa. After first premiering at the Anime Expo in Los Angeles last July, the movie has sinced grossed over $328 million worldwide, becoming the highest grossing anime film ever, so there was definitely some hype in the theater. This seems reasonable considering that the movie is actually really good.

Based on the novel of the same name (conveniently published only a month before the movie hit theaters), “Your Name” tells the story of a high school girl living in a rural town and a high school boy living in Tokyo who find them themselves linked supernaturally. With the help of some very funny and beautifully written side characters, the two set out on a journey of selfdiscovery while changing the course of time in the process.

Written and directed by Makoto Shinkai,

the film is a stunning masterpiece. Other than a few hiccups at the beginning of the movie, it was easy to follow and progressed logically, avoiding those awkward plot holes that leave every movie-goer cringing. The animations were very lifelike and almost felt real at times, and the English voices fit perfectly (this was the dubbed version) and brought life to the characters.

And that plot twist. To avoid any spoilers, all that can be said about it was that it was definitely unexpected but made the movie so much better.

The real star of this movie, though, was the the relationship between the two main character. It seemed to bloom naturally and never felt rushed but was still eloquently interwoven in an even bigger overarching story line. Add in some perfectly timed humor, and the result was a love story that had the audience audibly invested within the first 20 minutes. They cheered at every high and cried out at every low, which only added to the energy in the theater.

All in all, the movie was definitely a success and, honestly, a great way to spend a Friday night. The movie runs through April 13, which gives plenty of time for everyone to see it at least once and, for those especially loyal fans, multiple times.

“Your Name” promises to captivate everyone, fans of anime or otherwise.

Dr. Tukufu Zuberi visits Tulsa to host and exhibit “Black Bodies in Propoganda: the Art of the War Poster.”

Michaela Flonard News Editor Throughout the years, propaganda has been used to influence public opinion, maybe most notoriously in order to mobilize populations for war. The Gilcrease museum is hosting a special exhibition on propaganda meant to mobilize people of color, entitled “Black Bodies in Propaganda: the Art of the War Poster.” The exhibition features 33 posters from the collection of Dr. Tukufu Zuberi, the Lasry Family Professor of Race Relations and Professor of Sociology and Africana Studies at the University of Pennsylvania. Last Saturday, Dr. Zuberi visited the museum to lead a talk.

The collection of posters spans from the American Civil War to World War II, but non-American posters are also featured.

Stylised posters created by the Soviet Union and China to support African independence, as well as posters produced by European nations in relation to their colonies, are featured as well.

Dr. Zuberi noted how the posters spotlighted the hypocrisy of the US and courage and bravery of African-American soldiers. Each war promised AfricanAmericans the chance to be equal citizens, but failed to deliver; yet young men signed up with a “pure concern for freedom, for democracy.”

Two posters from Italy during World War II used black bodies in a negative

way. They portrayed Americans as African-American savages, ready to destroy civilization and unable to be properly integrated into Western achievement. Posters from the Soviet Union and China, by contrast, promised freedom for Africans if they embraced the theories of Lenin and Mao Zedong. There were also posters from the Vietnam war, issued by the Vietnamese to encourage black soldiers to reconsider their involvement in the war.

Dr. Zuberi does not have posters from later wars, like Iraq and Afghanistan, as most recruiting materials today come in the form of videos. He grew his collection on his work travels, and while he is no longer actively looking for posters, potential buyers still contact him frequently.

All of the posters exhibited were created by non-blacks, and Dr. Zuberi said they represent an attempt to advocate where black bodies fit somewhere, in a war effort or peace. Propaganda, he said, “works at the collective conscious and collective unconscious,” and awakens “how we feel about race and racial differences.” By visiting the exhibition, visitors are confronting what it means to be human, he said, as these black soldiers fought for freedom and democracy that they did not yet have.

After leaving the Black Bodies exhibit, visitors are encouraged to walk through an exhibition featuring World War I propaganda posters from the McFarlin Library special collections. These posters encouraged Americans to unify for the war. Everyone was meant to take part in the war, through conserving food, buying bonds or serving in the war. More than 200 other propaganda posters are in Special Collections, but “Black Bodies” will only be on display till July 9.

courtesy Toho

The University of Tulsa’s 2017 Springfest was adventure-themed, each day paying homage to a different popular fantasy franchise. Monday was Hunger Games, Tuesday was Star Wars, Wednesday was Lord of the Rings and Friday was Harry Potter. Thursday was the odd day out, featuring a concert from Christian rock band Needtobreathe.

Dr. Zuberi discusses one of the posters from “Black Bodies.”

photo by Michaela Flonard

photos by Dalton Stewart

The State-Run Media

10 April 2017

the

State-Run media Repeal and replace the Undertaker

His opponents can’t see him. The children wish they couldn’t.

graphic by Elias Brinkman

I tried to go off of Obamacare for a week and Obama beat me up

Before you repeal Obamacare, just think about this guy coming at you.

I tried to figure out if repealing Obamacare would be that bad by refusing to use my insurance for a week. It was harmful, because Barack Obama himself beat me up when I tried.

Sam Chott Running up a huge hospital bill

Though their first attempt fell short, it’s likely that GOP lawmakers aren’t done trying to “repeal and replace” Obamacare. I decided that it would be worthwhile to live without insurance for a week and see what happened.

Some have suggested that a week isn’t long enough, and that maybe an educated, relatively wealthy student journalist isn’t representative of everyone in America in terms of vulnerability to health problems.

It turns out that I did run into some health problems that week, because the former president of the United States beat me up.

I had announced my intentions to give up my parents’ insurance, which I can still use thanks to Obamacare, on Facebook and

Twitter. The next day, as I was walking to class, Barack Obama, buff from all of his kitesurfing, hit me with a killer right hook.

Some people have suggested that Barack Obama attacking me was unrelated to me giving up the benefits I got from the Affordable Care Act. I know that this is false, because while I was on the ground and Obama was kicking me, he shouted, “Millions of uninsured people were able to become insured under Obamacare! Visit healthcare. gov!”

It turns out that, despite only testing out this hypothesis on myself, Obamacare is crucially necessary to all Americans. I know this, because after a shredded Barack Obama kicked the shit out of me, I was unable to get affordable treatment both for my bruised ribs and for the psychological trauma that comes with being brutally attacked by a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

I know that there are some people who won’t believe me, and I know that a lot of people think that they can successfully defend themselves against Barack Obama.

Don’t get any ideas, though, because I definitely saw Michelle putting on some brass knuckles before I blacked out.

graphic by Elias Brinkman

John Cena visits hospitalized children, against their wishes John Cena continues to visit children with terminal illnesses long after the thrill of seeing John Cena has worn off.

Amy Cairns You can’t see her World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) wrestler John Cena was seen visiting children at St. Ubald Hospital. Cena, who’s known for his charity work, was recently labeled the “World’s Biggest Make-A-Wish Superstar.” Letting this title get to his head, Cena has taken it upon himself to visit children’s hospitals, against everyone’s wishes.

Cena, proud of his charity work, could be seen parading shirtless around the hospital, brandishing his championship belt. Upon closer inspection, the belt was decorated with a teddy bear etch, and with the words “Undisputed Giving Champion” in flames surrounding it. The children, once excited by the “surprise” visits from the star, seemed excessively apathetic and almost weary upon his arrival. When Cena’s intro song started, the children looked at each other, sighed heavily, and resumed whatever activities they were previously occupied with.

“It was great the first few times, but really, we’re kind of over it now,” said hospital patient Mark Reno as Cena picked up a chair and slammed it against a wall. “He just keeps. Coming. Back.”

Cena walked up to Reno, picked him up, threw him over the shoulder, and began spinning him around as quickly as possible.

Reno, unamused by this wrestling spectacle, rolled his eyes, and mouthed the word “see?” to reporters.

“It’s not that we can’t see you, John Cena.

It’s that we are choosing to ignore you,” said Abigail Williams, another St. Ubald patient, as Cena paraded around the children’s ward, doing his “you can’t see me” taunt. Cena paused, turned to the children, and screamed “The champ is here!” but they remained unfazed.

Desperate to win the children’s affections, Cena decided to abandon the wrestling technique and began performing songs off his rap album “You Can’t See Me.” When that inevitably failed, Cena recited lines from his role as “Fred’s Dad” from “Fred the Movie,” but the reference went far over the young children’s heads.

Cena, content with a rough day’s work, clapped his hands together with an expression of satisfaction on his face. “Alright kids. That’s all for today. Who wants a hug?” Cena asked, putting his arms out to his adoring fans. The children glanced at one another and continued trying to ignore Cena.

“They love it when I get the chance to visit. I think I do a great job at brightening these kids’ days.” Cena said, with a confident smile on his face. “I could do this forever.”

Five North Korean beauty products that will blow you away We know that South Korean beauty products are big, but have you seen these amazing products from the North?

Sam Chott Oppressively moisturized 5. People’s Beauty Products “Buckwheat Face Mask” Most face masks either exfoliate or moisturize. This face mask, made with buckwheat proteins and wheat berries, does both at the same time. While gently exfoliating your face to deal with oily skin, this mask will also detoxify and hydrate your skin.

The secret to creating the mask is to have underfed and underpaid peasants grind the grains incredibly finely.

4. People’s Beauty Products “Kongbap Facial Moisturizer” Everybody uses a moisturizer, but not everyone uses a good one. Some moisturizers can leave you feeling oily and can rub off on your sheets if you use them at night. This moisturizer, made from a blend of black glu-

tinous rice and azuki beans, soaks into your skin in a matter of minutes, meaning that you’ll feel light and fresh for hours. It’s actually made from a blend of rice and beans that’s commonly served to political prisoners.

3. People’s Beauty Products “Clear Nose Mask” This nose mask, made with minerals taken from the Nyŏngbyŏn province, will clean out your pores while taking off dead skin and oily residue. Its remarkable ability to do this is aided by the fact that the minerals used to make it are from near the Yongbyon Nuclear Scientific Research Center, meaning that it lightly irradiates your skin to help you get a deeper, cleaner feeling than less dangerous nose masks. Bonus: thanks to added rosemary essential oil, it’s a joy to wear!

about to order the purging of a general who disappointed you, this eye mask will have you feeling revitalized.

2. People’s Beauty Products “Supreme Leader’s Eye Mask” Allegedly used by Kim Jong-un himself at the end of a long day, these eye masks will deal with puffy eyes and dark circles.

Whether you’re just staying in or you’re

1. People’s Beauty Products “Destroy the Enemies Concealer” This amazingly creamy concealer will hide dark spots and blemishes, and it comes in 30 different shades, so no matter your skin tone, you can use this concealer. In ad-

courtesy Pixabay These will make your skin feel so good, you’ll forget you’re supporting an oppressive regime.

dition, it won’t run or settle into fine lines, and it provides a small amount of SPF, protecting your skin from sun damage. 100 percent of the proceeds from this concealer go directly to the North Korean Military, so you, and your skin, can feel good about this purchase.

This article was sponsored by the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.