30 January 2017

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

The Collegian: 2

Sports

30 January 2017

Men’s basketball rallies past the Knights

photos by Dalton Stewart

Clockwise from top left: Junior TK Edogi slams the ball against Central Florida in the 77–66 win. Edogi had 10 points for the Golden Hurricane in the win. Senior Pat Birt drives up to the hoop in Saturday’s win. Birt lead the Golden Hurricane with 19 points on 33 percent shooting. Sophomore Sterling Taplin surveys the court against the Knights. While Taplin didn’t put up a lot of points, he finished with a game-high five assists. Junior Corey Henderson dribbles down the court during the win over UCF. Henderson finished with 14 points, second most on the time.

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Sports

30 January 2017

The Collegian: 3

Point/counterpoint: Where’s the best basketball

People have always argued about which level of basketball — college or professional —offers the better product on the court. The common argument is about defense and what some would view as the lack of effort in the NBA versus the“dumbed-down” systems and lack of elite skill in college.

NBA blows away college hoops College hoops are real basketball Justin Guglielmetti Student Writer

Want a tip on how to have a fun, easyto-win debate? The formula is simple really.

Just find somebody who is blindly passionate about something that they can’t possibly back up with any logical reasoning, proceed to write them into a corner and then wait for them to come crawling back to you as they kiss your ring and call you “Godfather.”

On an unrelated note, my friend and colleague Joe Edmunds was just telling our editor and I two weeks ago about how vastly superior college basketball is to the NBA. I’ll try to go easy on you Joe, even though it’s not usually in the character of the Bleacher Creature to ease up when he smells blood. And hey, no matter what I say, you will probably have some supporters that just won’t be able to pry themselves away from the bricktastic version of the game that you love so much. After all, Oklahoma is in the midwest...or the south...or the southwest… wherever. Point is, it’s not on the coasts where the NBA is king, so there are bound to be a ton of NCAA truthers out here.

But even if you, dear reader, are one of those diehards, listen to what I have to say now. I’m not going to attempt to disparage the century-old traditions of college hoops, or dismiss the fun of rooting for your alma mater or god forbid try to tell you that March Madness isn’t the most goddamn exciting spectacle in American sports. I’m just going to be addressing the specific point that Joe saw fit to throw out there: that the NBA is a worse form of basketball.

There are a number of ways I could go about responding to this, but I think I’ll begin with the words of our president, who perhaps said it better than I ever could: “Wroooong.” Thank you Donald, that will be all. The NBA is not possibly better basketball, it’s not probably better basketball, it’s demonstrably better basketball. It is, you know, the single most competitive professional basketball league on the planet, gathering together all the best players from around the globe to form an elite club of 450 superhumanly athletic individuals who could all stroll onto a college court this very minute and school everybody.

We’re not just talking about them being slightly better either. NBA players would dominate to the extent that you would actually become embarrassed for the losing side.

Think Leonidas over the Persians, the brown eye gene over the blue eye one, Bruno Mars and Beyonce over Coldplay.

How do I know this? It’s simple really.

Pretty much every Division 1 college basketball player, at least the competitive ones who actually get playing time, wants to play in the NBA. Becoming a professional athlete is the end goal for every aspiring athlete, down to that little nerdy kid shooting around after school at the bottom of his driveway.

College ball is just that, ball that you play while you’re in college. It’s amateur hour, nothing more at the end of the day than a

lucrative, incredibly time-consuming, borderline extortionary club. Nobody who is that good at the game and has worked hard enough to reach that level willingly says, “You know what? I think I’ll stop here, this is as good as it gets.” Of course, very few college athletes go on to play in the pros because the NBA is really freaking difficult!

Every year only 50-60 players from the roughly 1,500-strong college ranks are drafted to the Association, and of that pool only around two-thirds actually make rosters. As for which guys go on to have successful careers? The number is a small handful from every draft class, each of which, remember, was comprised of the very best college players from the year before. Plenty of NCAA stars never make it big because the NBA really is that difficult.

“Okay, fine,” you begrudgingly concede.

“The NBA has the most talented players.

But it’s about what those players do on the court! They actually play defense and fundamentals in college, the pro game is just so lazy and focused on one-on-ones.” Donald?

“Wroooong.” There are more points scored in the NBA, but this is driven by better offenses, not worse defenses. Not that the defensive level is the same, of course, it’s actually much worse...at the college level.

Every pro team runs a complex series of sets more advanced than 90 percent of what you will see in the NCAA because inverted pick-and-rolls, elevator door screens and motion offenses are all necessary to puncture the massively strong, coordinated and intelligent defenses of the NBA. Need proof? Look at how much difficulty a stud like Anthony Davis, possibly the best defensive college player of the century, had adjusting to the physicality and quickness of the pro game.

Defenses only seem better in the NCAA because they are able to contain the predominant offensive strategy of whipping the ball around the perimeter, aborting feeble attempts at the pick-and-roll and attempting a contested three pointer after 20 seconds.

If college offenses had the same level of shooting ability, court vision and ball-handling as the pros, teams would be averaging 120 points.

As for players not “trying as hard” once they reach the NBA? Utter nonsense. The NBA is cutthroat capitalism at its finest: produce or die. Its average career length is under five years. Rookies who want to blow off practice in their new cars won’t see playing time, veterans who let their age show will be replaced by the rookies. The only guys who can afford to not give a crap are the truly elite talent, and with few exceptions, those guys all got to where they are precisely because they always give a crap.

Enough with this fake news!

Well, I’ve about said my piece. I hope I’ve managed to convince some of you of the NBA’s technical superiority, but for those that I haven’t, that’s okay. Billions of people are wrong about things every day, it’s not that unusual. As for you, Joe, I’ll get my ring polish ready.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer

All my life, I’ve been an avid sports fan.

I watched most any sport that came on TV. One “sport,” though, stood out among the rest as being a joke to watch, something that I don’t consider worth my time. That “sport” is the “basketball” played in the NBA. I’m sure any NBA fan that’s reading this is thinking, “here we go again. Why can’t people appreciate good athletes making good plays?” That is not where we disagree.

The athletes in the NBA are impressive human beings. I’m not here to debate the abilities of the players. That stands on its own.

But the game. The GAME. How can that be called basketball? I stand by the NBA being little more than three things: dunks, three pointers and traveling. You ask, what’s wrong with dunks and three pointers? Aren’t those good things? Sure. I love to see a good sharpshooter, and I appreciate a big slam.

But when those are the only things you see in a game, they can get old. And traveling. It’s as if the NBA forgot one of the most basic rules of the game. You can’t move down the court without dribbling the basketball. NBA players get away with some incredible traveling. It impresses me every time I try to watch a game, and reminds me why I hate the NBA. A quick google search will show you times where players have taken eight steps and nothing has happened.

No turnover, no one bats an eye. Seriously? That’s basketball? James Naismith would be ashamed of what his sport turned into. “It’s a euro step, they can do that,” is my least favorite thing to hear defenders of the NBA say. So, you just made up a move that allows players to pick up the ball at half court and take a layup. At that point, you might as well remove dribbling from the game.

Another aspect of the NBA that appalls me is the utter lack of defensive effort. My counterpart in this argument, Justin Guglielmetti, will try and brush this off by saying that the NBA players are just too good at offense to defend. Let’s think about what kind of argument this is for a minute. Players get to the NBA by being good at the game. You can be good at offense, but you should also be good at defense. Why can you just brush off defense because you think you’re so good at offense?

There are examples of people playing great defense in the NBA. Players that actually try. One such player is Kawhi Leonard.

I know, I know, I’m using the reigning defensive player of the year as an example. But look at what he’s done. In the NBA Finals, the biggest stage of the NBA, he shut down

LeBron James. Shut him down. Let’s put this feat into perspective. LeBron James is arguably the best player of this generation.

Love him or hate him, the man is a phenomenal basketball player. In his first stint with the Cavaliers, he singlehandedly carried the team to the NBA finals. There was no other significant players on that team, and he still took them that far. But Kawhi Leonard played good enough defense to nullify him. Looks like defense can be played in the NBA. There are also plenty of players in the NBA who don’t play defense, and are only on the court because of their offensive production. Two examples that quickly come to mind are Carmelo Anthony and James Harden. Both of these players have been offensive juggernauts for years, but couldn’t be pressed to play defense at any time. Do another google search. You can find compilations of times that James Harden has let players walk past him to score layups. How is that acceptable? Sure, he can make up the points at the other end, but if he played defense he could score at the other end to take a lead. But hey, who cares about how much the other team scores, right?

Alright. I hope you understand now how bad the defense in the NBA is. Let’s move to the other side of the ball and break down the classic NBA game plan: give the ball to the best player. Move other four players to other half of court. Let best player take a step in, step back, and take a fadeaway jump shot. It didn’t go in? Okay, that was unlucky. Let’s let him do it again next trip down the floor.

How is that offense? 80 percent of the players on the court are standing still. That’s not good offense, and it’s not fun to watch.

With the basketball abilities these players have that allowed them to reach the NBA, it shouldn’t be hard for them to move the ball around, play smart and come up with a good shot. The San Antonio Spurs have been known for doing this well lately, but they are the exception. The statistics back this, too. The top teams in the assists category in the NBA average around 24 or 25 assists per game. In college, the top teams average around 21 or 22 assists per game.

With the NBA having longer games, these stats are effectively even. Since, as Justin will readily tell you, the NBA players are so much better offensively, why wouldn’t you take advantage of passing the ball around to get an open shot? I don’t think I will ever understand that logic.

With all of these issues on both ends of the court, I don’t see how anyone could consider the NBA to be better basketball. Justin, I’ll leave you to your broken attempt at a sport and watch the real thing.

“One ‘sport,’ though, stood out among the rest as being a joke to watch. Something that I don’t consider worth my time.”

Women’s basketball falls to Tulane, tames Mustangs The women’s basketball team dropped a close match in New Orleans, but bounced back to beat divisional rival Southern Methodist.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor

The women’s basketball team continued their up and down season by losing to Tulane, but picked up a win against Southern Methodist at home over the weekend.

In the 70–65 loss to Tulane, junior Liesl Spoerl recorded her first career double-double with 14 points and 19 rebounds — the most rebounds for the Golden Hurricane since Denise Lewis had 20 in 2010. Freshman Shug Dickson, the American Athletic Conference Freshman of the week, also put

Monday

up double digit points (11). Erika Wakefield put up 10 and had a team-high four assists in the loss.

Tulane started the game with a 8–0 run, putting the Golden Hurricane behind to start the game, which has been a consistent trend for Tulsa so far this season. They came back in the second quarter to make it a one-point game at the half, but Tulane pulled ahead in the latter part of the game thanks to their 19 points from the free-throw line, while Tulsa only had nine.

Head coach Matilda Mossman talked about the need for the Golden Hurricane to draw more fouls. “It boils down to the free throw line. We had nine points at the free throw line and they get 19, but we lose by five points and they have 10 more points at the line. We have to attack and draw fouls so

Tuesday 30

No Events

31

Women’s Basketball vs. ECU 7:00 p.m.

Wednesday 1

Men’s Basketball vs.

Cincinnati 6:00 p.m.

we have to do a better job of getting to the free throw line.”

Tulsa couldn’t get past the Green Wave in the final frame and lost by five to Tulane.

The Golden Hurricane returned home over the weekend to take on the Southern Methodist Mustangs, bringing home a 66– 59 win, their third conference win.

Dickson led the way for the Golden Hurricane with her fourth 20+ point game in the last three weeks.

Mossman talked about the strength of the players in her post-game press conference.

“Shug Dickson was solid today. But I thought we had a lot of kids that were really solid today — Kendrian Elliott, Liesl Spoerl, Crystal Polk and Jessica Pongonis really did a great job on their bigs inside. Our kids played solid, and the big thing was that we

Thursday

had a lead at halftime and we didn’t give up that lead.”

Tulsa jumped out to an early lead in this game, outscoring the Mustangs 20–9 in the first quarter, and took a 12-point lead into halftime. Though they had a slow start to the second half with only nine points in the third quarter, they kept pace in the fourth quarter to claim the seven-point win.

Tulsa won on the strength of their threepointers — scoring nine to SMU’s three, but the rebounds helped them as well. The Golden Hurricane out-rebounded the Mustangs 50–49, which is significant because the Mustangs are a much taller team than the Golden Hurricane.

The loss and win put the Golden Hurricane’s overall record at 7–14. Their next game is against East Carolina on Tuesday.

Jan 30 – Feb 5

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No Events

Saturday

Friday

3

Women’s Tennis @ North Texas

4

Sunday

5

Men’s Women’s Basketball Tennis vs. SMU vs. OSU 6:00 p.m.

Sports

The Collegian: 4

Justin Guglielmetti is…

the

bleacher creature Who is A? Find out on this week’s edition of the Chicago Bulls Do you remember when you were in middle school and always wondered when that moment would happen that would transform you from a kid into an adult? And then when you hit about sixteen or so you saw something that made you realize that it was never going to happen? Well, Generation Z NBA fans might be experiencing that very moment this week with the Twitter meltdown and ongoing collapse of the Chicago Bulls.

In case you haven’t been paying attention, here’s a quick recap: Dwyane Wade was like “Grrrr, why don’t our young guys care more that we suck?” And Jimmy Butler was all like “Yeah I know right??” And then Rajon Rondo posted to social media “Man, my veterans on the Celtics would have never posted to social media!” Then some rookies liked it. And then so did Wade. And then Butler and Wade got benched for a game.

Yawn emoji.

If this all seems a bit dull that’s because it is, and maybe that’s why it feels so particularly juvenile. Since these are grown men, highly competitive professional athletes, you sort of expect a disagreement this intense to manifest itself in blows, or at least an exchange of expletives!

Instead we have a Twitter and Instagram beef with all the passive-aggressiveness of your mom telling you you don’t need to set the table, it would just be nice if she didn’t have to prepare dinner all by herself for once. That’s right kids, you never outgrow middle school.

courtesy sportingnews

This is what players on teams that suck do in their free time. Just wait until April when free time is all that these guys will have.

Hats off to Matty Ice You’re not going to hear me say a single positive thing about him in the Super Bowl preview, so let me just take this space to give Matt Ryan the respect he deserves.

The former Boston College standout with the most painfully college nickname imaginable all but clinched his 2016 MVP with last weekend’s dominating victory over the Green Bay Packers.

He captained one of the best offenses in football history, threw for almost 5,000 yards and had a 38:7 TD:Int ratio.

He led the league in yards/attempt, yards/ completion, quarterback rating, and QBR and outplayed his biggest rival for the award on the game’s (second) biggest stage last weekend. He deserves every individual award coming his way. Also, he sucks and is going to lose on Sunday.

[Insert Robin Williams Jumanji meme here] Tennis viewership in the US has been down over recent years, and the Australian Open is usually the least-talked about Grand Slam anyway, since it’s almost impossible to catch any of the matches live.

So in case you weren’t paying any attention to it, you should probably know that this weekend Serena Williams beat her sister Venus for her record 23rd major title (in the Open era), while Roger Federer ousted his greatest rival Rafael Nadal in five sets to extend his own title record to 18. Also, their ages are 35, 36, 35, and 30 respectively, this is not 2009, and no, you are not having a fever dream.

That these legends of the sport can all be at the top of their games this late into their careers is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. I’d like to give a special shout-out to Roger as well, not just because unlike Serena he is definitely not in his prime anymore, but because this may well have been the most historically important match in his career.

It ended a nearly five-year drought since he won number 17 (2012 Wimbledon), widened his Slams lead over Nadal from four to two (if Nadal had won) and made him the first man ever to win three different Grand Slams five different times.

And not only that, the madman did it while being seeded 17th because he missed six months with a knee injury, beat three opponents ranked in the top 10, and overcame Nadal — only the most physically dominant tennis player ever — 6–3 in the final set despite going down 3–1. There’s nothing else to say. GOAT.

Men’s basketball sunk by Pirates, but triumphs over Knights at home The men’s basketball team lost to East Carolina on the road, but maintained their third-place standing in the conference with a win over Central Florida.

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer Despite dropping a game to East Carolina this week, the Golden Hurricane men’s basketball team remains in the top three of the conference standings.

The first game of the week was a disappointment, a 69–66 loss against East Carolina. Junior Etou put on a show, scoring 31 points and shooting 66 percent. The rest of the team couldn’t come up with enough offense to win the game, as the team’s total shooting percentage was a measly 31 percent. Tulsa started the game by taking a quick lead, but the Pirates fought back and claimed a lead that they would not relinquish until the final buzzer.

The Pirates have a 2–7 record in conference play, good for third from the bottom.

If the Golden Hurricane have real ambitions of fighting for the conference title, these are games that they are going to have to win.

Yes, road games are tough, but conference champs separate themselves by finding a way to win these games.

Tulsa bounced back with their next game, though. They returned home to face off against 7’6” Tacko Fall and the Central Florida Knights.

Most of the game was back-and-forth.

Tulsa went on a run to go up 7–0, the Knights went on a run to take the lead, and the teams kept trading streaks. Neither team was able to take a commanding enough lead to prevent the other from getting back in the game.

In the final eight minutes of the game, the Golden Hurricane finally decided they wanted to take over, and it showed. They retook the lead and didn’t look back, going on a 10–4 run in the last minute of play to close out the victory. The win was a strong team effort. Pat Birt and Corey Henderson provided strong perimeter shooting, TK Edogi and Will Magnay played good defense on Tacko Fall, and Jaleel Wheeler and Junior Etou made some clutch plays, getting some important traditional three point plays.

Head coach Frank Haith said after the game, “It was a tremendous win. I thought we beat an obviously really, really good Central Florida team and did a really job on Tacko Fall, which was a key going into the game.”

“I thought we had a lot of production out of a lot of guys. At the ten-minute mark I really felt that we turned it up a level in terms of intensity and we got some loose balls.

I think that we were down six points near the five-minute mark, but finished the game incredibly well in terms of coming up with loose balls and knocking balls loose.”

Tulsa is now 12–8 (6–2 American Athletic Conference) on the season. Their next game is going to be the biggest challenge yet. Cincinnati, who remains undefeated in conference play, is traveling to the Reynolds Center on Wednesday night at 8:00 p.m. for a conference top 3 matchup.

Why is Grayson Allen still allowed to play?

Grayson Allen is the current “most hated man” to play for Duke — for good reason. After all his antics in the past two seasons with almost no punishment, the question comes up — where is the line drawn?

Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer In this college basketball season, one story has pushed its way to the front pages, and it’s not your typical headline. Duke guard Grayson Allen has made an infamous name for himself through a series of tripping antics.

The story’s roots go back nearly a full calendar year. Last February, Allen tripped Louisville’s Ray Spalding midway through the second half. Allen had just missed a layup, and tripped Spalding as he grabbed the rebound and was trying to start a fast break.

Just a few weeks later, he had a repeat performance. This time, the victim was a Florida State player, Xavier Rathan-Mayes.

This trip was even more shocking than the first. It can with less than five seconds remaining in the game, and Duke was winning by 15. The play had no impact on the result of the game, but he felt the need to trip Rathan-Mayes as he went by.

This season, Allen is already back at it.

At another time when it was entirely unnecessary, he tripped Elon’s Steven Santa Ana. Elon is a small school opponent, the type of opponent that Duke typically rolls through easily.

Allen has received very little punishment for these incidents. Duke Coach Mike Krzyzweski suspended Allen “indefinitely” after the incident against Santa Ann, and removed him from his co-captain position on the team. However, Allen was reinstated to

the team after missing just one game. Duke lost that game to Virginia Tech, and in the next game against Georgia Tech Allen was back in the starting lineup.

He has also been involved in other questionable incidents. When falling into the opposing bench trying to get a loose ball against Florida State, he pushed over an assistant coach as he tried to regain his balance. Players fall into the bench or the front row chasing balls plenty of the time. Rarely, though, do they push the person they braced themselves against. Additionally, he has gotten into scuffles with opposing teams as he walks past their benches multiple times this season.

Where are the ACC and the NCAA, and when are they going to step in? All of these tripping incidents have been obviously intentional, and nothing seems to have stopped Allen yet. A similar situation in recent years that comes to mind is when Marcus Smart pushed a fan against Texas Tech. When that happened, Oklahoma State suspended him for three games, and the Big 12 released a statement saying that they were also looking into the incident and another statement saying they approved of the punishment handed down by Oklahoma State. Now, it is important to note that Smart’s incident involved a fan, which is a slightly different level than a player-to-player incident. The repetitive nature of Allen’s actions, though, warrant a response equal to that level.

Allen has quickly become one of college basketball’s most hated players, and there is no end to his antics in the foreseeable future. Hated players are not new to the Duke program. Does something in that environment contribute to this kind of behavior?

Whatever the cause, someone needs to step in before Allen can continue his dangerous play and hurt someone.

“Where are the ACC and the NCAA, and when are they going to step in?”

Golden Hurricane News and Notes

Women’s Tennis The women’s tennis team fell to No. 25 Northwestern 3–4, but rallied back in their second match of the ITA Kickoff against William and Mary 4–1. Their next match is against North Texas on the road this week.

Men’s Tennis The men’s team dropped both of their matches in the ITA Kickoff against Kentucky No. 14 and No. 22 Columbia giving them a three game losing streak. They have a two week break before they start play again against Tennessee on the road.

Track and Field The track and field team competed in Iowa’s Black and Gold Premier Indoor Track Meet over the weekend. The team recorded five first-place finishes and six second-place finishes at the meet.

Luke Traynor and Adrena Mezzei won the mile event for the men and women’s events respectively. Nicole Lee won the third individual event (3,000 meters). Two relay teams took first at the meet. For the women’s team Stacie Taylor, Allison Bailey, Sabrina Monsees and Mazzei won the women’s distance medley. Scott, Han Kunsch, Robert Tully and Ben Priesner took first in the men’s distance medley.

30 January 2017

Super Bowl predictions from the sports staff Every year the Collegian’s sports staff likes to predict how the Super Bowl will play out. Over the years this has evolved from a simple prediction to what it is today. Enjoy.

Matt Rechtien Sports Editor It would be poetic for the Patriots to win the Super Bowl this season. Their star player was suspended by Roger Goodell for four games, yet that wasn’t even a speed bump on their road to the playoffs.

It would be sweet justice for Goodell to have to hand the trophy to Belichick and Brady.

Revenge for all the “wrongful” punishments that New England has suffered at the hands of the NFL (don’t get me wrong though, I hate the NFL corporation).

However, I don’t believe in fairy tales, and don’t think the Patriots are going to be able to stop Matty Ice and the Falcons offense from winning it in what I predict to be a high-octane offensive tour-deforce between the two. The Falcons bring home the second ever championship in Atlanta professional sports.

Falcons 42 Patriots 35 Joseph Edmunds Sports Writer This year’s Super Bowl includes a classic matchup: the highest scoring offense in the league against the defense that gave up the fewest points. I had to do a double-take looking at the statistics, but yes, the Patriots were statistically the best defense in the league this year.

Not the Broncos, Seahawks, or Vikings or any other defense you normally consider to be good. Will they be able to stop the dominant offense of Matt Ryan and the Falcons? I have little faith in that happening. It’s great to get defensive stats when you play in a division where no one knows how to score. Bill Belichick will do his best to tilt the game in his favor (how will he do it this time? Who knows), but no one can put out the fire on Matt Ryan’s arm right now, and the Falcons will score enough points to overcome any weakness they might have in their defense.

Falcons 27 Patriots 23 Justin Guglielmetti Bleacher Creature Let me tell you something about Tom Brady. Contrary to popular belief, he’s not actually a human being but in reality something more akin to a cyborg, genetically modified to win football games until the sun goes supernova. Number 12 lives and breathes this sport. Every “thought” that goes through his head is just a variation of a football-related algorithm.

When he cloud-gazes he sees defensive formations, when he’s trying to sleep he sees tight spirals being thrown over the moon, when he watches horror movies every monster takes on the mouthbreathing countenance of a certain New York Giants QB. Tom Terrific is very private about his wife Giselle but all I’m saying is he’s the best in the business at the quarterback sneak. He hits that hole hard and fast.

Ahem, where was I? Oh yeah, Brady is a football terminator and Roger Goodell is Sarah Connor running across an empty parking lot with a broken leg. Forget the numbers (not that you couldn’t make a strong statistical case for the Patriots being favored) and just accept the fact that he’s not going to stop until he wrests the Lombardi trophy from Goodell’s cold dead hands while grabbing his balls and shouting to the heavens “Looks like I didn’t deflate these!!”

Patriots 34 Falcons 27 Jesse Keipp Bleacher Creature Emeritus The chip-on-the-shoulder narrative can’t be overstated. Popsicles are sweet, but vengeance is sweeter. Goodell violated the unofficial NFL constitution by suspending Brady for [testicle joke here!].

Hearkening back to their Boston roots, the Patriots will tea bag Goodell with a Super Bowl victory. While the Deflategate narrative is everywhere, fewer people talk about the other adversities that the Patriots have overcome. Tom Brady has overcome being married to an ugly wife. Bill Belichick has overcome being a middle-aged, white man.

What have the Falcons overcome?

Matt Ryan has two first names. Sad! I can’t even name the Falcons coach, so he sure as hell doesn’t want it. The Falcons’ only hope is to score more points than the Patriots do, but I don’t like their chances.

The Patriots WILL NOT BE DENIED. Patriots > Falcons

News

30 January 2017

The Collegian: 5

Tulsans protest executive orders on controversial pipelines This past Saturday, nearly 200 people gathered in the John Hope Franklin Reconciliation Park to protest President Trump’s executive orders to construct two pipelines to transport oil: the Dakota Access Pipeline and Keystone XL. During the protest, several speakers

discussed their experiences while at the Standing Rock protest. One was a Native woman who went to help with medical concerns. She described the conditions and issues faced by those protesting. Other speakers included two clergy members who’d attended as part

photos by Michaela Flonard

of a clergy for the Standing Rock movement. Some also sang uplifting and traditional songs at the protest.

Most signs emphasized the community’s support for those at Standing Rock, but others focused on climate change and oil. A trio of signs implored

federal judges, President Trump and the US Congress to uphold treaties with Native tribes. One attendee did have a sign protesting the treatment of Palestinians, demanding an end to settlements or the movement of the Isreali embassy to Jerusalem.

Speakers at the protest had been to Standing Rock and reported back on their experiences.

While most signs expressed support for the Standing Rock protesters and concerns over climate change, one did disapprove of the treatment of Palestinians.

Signs commonly emphasized “people over profit,” “stand up to big oil” and support for Standing Rock.

Around 200 people attended the protest Saturday in response to President Trump’s executive orders concerning oil pipelines.

“On the Origin of the Species” focus of TU professor’s new book TU English Department Chair Randall Fuller held a talk and Q&A session about how Darwin’s book impacted America.

Alex Garoffolo Student Writer This past Tuesday, TU’s English Department Chair, Professor Randall Fuller, gave a lecture and answered questions about his new book, “The Book that Changed America.” The book discusses the effect that Charles Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species” had on various groups in America at the time: abolitionists, writers and social reformers, to name a few. Fuller elaborated on three main ways Darwin’s book affected popular culture of the day.

First, the book significantly impacted previously steadfast religious feelings in America. As Fuller mentioned, Darwin was not the first to claim that there was a link between non-human organisms (his father wrote a theory on the connection between mussels and man).

However, he was the first to use purely physical traits to prove that nature, in its quest to select and allow for only the best traits survive, “is like a human dog breeder;” that is, consistently selecting for and promoting the best characteristics in organisms. Darwin claimed the process of natural selection occurred wholly without God or any other form of divinity.

Second, popular sentiment at the time the book came out was already pretty Darwinistic. 1860 was the brink of the

LETTER

Civil War. The North’s newspapers talked as if the southern way of life simply could not survive, while the South claimed it was the “Yankees” whose way of life was obsolete and infeasible for the future. “On the Origin of Species” helped to divide the nation (already notably divided) even more.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Darwin’s writings challenged the belief held by many at the time that different races were made differently at separate times by God. Many thought that these stages reflected an implicit hierarchy, evidence of their inherent place or role in life. Proponents went on to claim that differences between the races of the world were deep and strictly meant to stay that way. African-Americans were born in a certain place at a certain time, destined for a certain way of life, or so they thought. Same with Caucasians, Asian peoples and Native Americans.

Of course, writing a book as impactful as Darwin’s was not a quick process.

It took 25 years from the end of his voyage on the H.M.S. Beagle to make it to publication. But once it hit the states, it spread like wildfire — mainly because, according to Professor Fuller, Darwin didn’t use scientific jargon. “On the Origin of Species” is very readable and is not jam-packed with incomprehensible, confusing words. Give it a try yourself, McFarlin has a copy.

In the end, it was a book that simply changed or challenged the way many thought about life. It angered many, gave others hope and won Darwin

praise, criticism and fame alike. When asked during the Q&A session whether or not he thought there would ever be another Darwin who might publish such a paradigm-shift in popular thought, the

photo by Alex Garoffolo

Instead of focusing on Darwin’s effects on the scientific community, Randall’s book looks at its effects on abolitionists, writers and others.

to Answer our Most Important Question – Why We Suffer

to the editor

To the Leaders and Members of TU’s Chapter of Phi Beta Kappa:

Beta Kappa’s website that are authored by Prof. Ehrman, namely

I read with interest that TU’s chapter of Phi Beta Kappa is hosting Professor Bart Ehrman to speak at TU on “Misquoting Jesus: Scribes who Changed the Scriptures and Readers Who May Never Know.” A brief perusal of the list of books on Phi

Forged: Why the Bible’s Authors are Not Who We Think They Are Misquoting Jesus Jesus Interrupted How Jesus Became God God’s Problem: How the Bible Fails

professor said: “I don’t know. In today’s society, it’s hard to know; however, I do know that if we do have another Darwin, I only hope I’m on the supporting end of his ideas, not the resisting one.”

left little doubt as to the nature of Prof.

Ehrman’s talk. Which made me wonder: In the interest of academic integrity, when might we expect Phi Beta Kappa to host a comparable talk by a respected biblical scholar presenting the opposing viewpoint—the veracity of New Testament scripture? If I can be of any assistance identifying potential speakers—of which there are many—please, just let me know.

Prof. Ehrman’s talk presenting progressive views on Christian scripture put me in mind of a quote by C. S. Lewis:

“We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.”

Jerry McCoy Applied Associate Professor Physics & Engineering Physics The University of Tulsa The Collegian does not edit letters to the editor.

The Collegian: 6

News

30 January 2017

TU talks: opinions on the Affordable Care Act

courtesy Karl-Ludwig Poggemann courtesy Wikimedia Commons In 2010, former president Obama signed the Affordable Care Act into law, which remained a source of controversy throughout his two terms. Though President Trump recently signed an executive order with the intention of starting a repeal process, Republicans have yet to create a viable replacement.

With Republicans aiming to repeal the Affordable Care Act, TU administration and students offer their opinions on the bill and on the effects of a repeal.

Justin Guglielmetti Student Writer Dr. Clancy, president of TU:

My experiences with the Affordable Care Act date back to 2009, the year prior to its passage in 2010. At that time I was invited to the White House to meet with leaders who would be writing the first drafts. In early 2009, those writers were almost exclusively focused on simply extending health care to the uninsured. I thought that was a very good thing and I was looking forward to final edition of the law. Much to my surprise, the passed legislation in the Affordable Care Act of 2010 was something much more complicated than simply providing health care coverage for the 39,000,000 uninsured across the US. In reading the entire legislation from cover to cover, I saw trouble from the start.

The law was very complex and I

adding almost 60,000 years of life for north Tulsa residents.

So now we are faced with an almost certain dismantling of a law that, despite its complexities, mandates, penalties and costs, has saved lives because health care coverage was expanded. In retrospect, this law would have had much more appeal across the nation if it was kept simple and about expanded coverage. As the “Repeal and Replace” discussions begin, I hope our legislators remember that this law is far more than policy and principles. This law has saved lives. Legislators, it’s on you to get it right. Keep it simple, but get it right.

Greyson Chance, president of Young Dems: There is a general consensus amongst Democrats that the Affordable Care Act was certainly far from perfect; however, it was a step towards a larger goal that every American, no matter their socio-economic status, should have access to affordable and effective care. It is already disheartening that Republicans in Congress would repeal the ACA. But to repeal it with no laidout replacement plan? That is the true

“‘The law was very complex and I understood it only because I was trained as a physician.’” understood it only because I was trained as a physician. How in the world would most people understand this law? It is hard to support something you don’t understand.

The law was much more than extending health care coverage to the uninsured.

Roughly 30% of the law was dedicated to extension of health care coverage. The other 70% were to be major changes in our health care reimbursement system. There were mandates, penalties and expensive electronic reporting requirements. There were Sunshine Laws that required physicians to report their relationships with drug companies. There were changes in how doctors and hospitals would get paid. Many things for many people to not support.

The law was 1,992 pages that rolled out over 8 years. Every year, the health industry would need to make changes to comply with the next aspect of the law as provisions were enacted.

So we had a complex law of 1,992 pages that rolled out over 8 years that was full of mandates and changes to how health care would be paid that would affect all Americans in a very personal way. What could go wrong?

Yet, despite these complexities, I was excited about the law. For more than 30 years, I have taken care of patients with severe mental illnesses. Over the past 5 years, my patients were almost exclusively from north Tulsa. Because of the impact of those mental illnesses on their ability to work, many of my patients lived in poverty and many did not have health care coverage.

Because they did not have coverage, they could not afford the medications they needed to be well and go back to work. They avoided seeking medical care for diabetes and hypertension for fear of overwhelming medical bills. In fact, across the nation, those with severe mental illness have a 20-year shorter life expectancy than those without severe mental illness, due primarily to untreated medical conditions. So I had great hope.

As coverage expanded under the Affordable Care Act, I saw good things happening for my patients. They could afford their psychiatric and medical medications.

They started to get better, much better. In fact, all of north Tulsa started to get better. In 2005, there was a 14-year difference in life expectancy between north and south Tulsa.

By 2015, life expectancy in north Tulsa had improved by 3-years; from 67 years average life expectancy in 2005 to 70 years average life expectancy in 2015. The 14year difference in life expectancy between north and south Tulsa was improved to a 11year difference for roughly 20,000 people,

disappointment. As a result, 18 million Americans will go uninsured and our country will take a massive step backwards in regards to a service that should not be a viewed as a privilege, but rather as a right to all citizens.

Sheridan Nolen, president of College Republicans: First off, let’s remember that is actually called the “Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.” Republicans and Democrats can agree that the Patient Protection aspects of

Medicaid expanded 113% after the Affordable Care Act passed.

-Individuals are forced to pay Insurance premiums have increased exponentially in many states to compensate for individuals that cannot afford basic health insurance.

-In 2009, Americans were told that they would get to keep their current insurance plans after ACA went into place. However, more than 4.2 million Americans received notices that their plans have been canceled or that they would need to pay substantially higher premiums due to government requirements that insurance companies had to fulfill.

-Some of the coverage that is a part of the ACA could be considered asinine.

For example, a 58-year-old woman said, under Obamacare, she was required to pay $5000 for maternity coverage. Why does she need to pay for a service that she is not going to use? Americans have the right to choose what they pay for. Additionally, this policy is a financial disservice because health insurance is not “one-size fits all.”

Basic health care plans will cost $2000 and provide services that healthy individuals rarely plan on using.

-In essence, under the ACA, being a United States citizens means you must buy health care. If you don’t buy it, you’re paying tax penalties that increases over time. After a long period of time, it would have made more sense for an individual to just buy their own insurance plan.

-Companies of 50+ are fined if they do not provide insurance for their employees.

Negatively affects the employees because they will either 1) Get Laid Off 2) See a decrease in pay due to needing insurance.

-Adding more patients to the already broken Medicaid system discourages doctors from accepting Medicaid beneficiaries and leads to hospital overcrowding. Doctors are not making as much money, so they will not continue to see certain patients. A shortage in doctors is also plausible because many of them are not receiving the same pay that they used to make. If I went to medical school, I would be irritated too. Doctors deserve to be paid well.

has reduced the number of people with moral opposition who have to have that coverage. Finally, opposition to the ACA is a major reason Republicans were able to regain control of Congress in 2010 and 2014. To not offer an alternative would be political malpractice.

This of course leaves the question of what should replace the ACA, if anything.

I definitely think that a repeal effort should be done in conjunction with a replacement effort. Doing otherwise would create uncertainty in the health care market and potentially leave vulnerable people without health care coverage. Luckily, it is my understanding that both Republicans in Congress and President Trump want to do repeal and replace simultaneously. I’m not sure exactly how to make sure that people who currently have plans through ACA exchanges and subsidies are able to keep them, but I’m not opposed to keeping the subsidies in place for some time in order to make the transition go more smoothly.

In regard to what changes I’d like to see, I don’t really have a comprehensive plan. However, one major problem in the US health care market, I believe, is the reliance on third party payments in which patients are largely not responsible for paying for their own care, and I therefore think that health care reform should focus on reducing reliance on third parties. One thing I’d specifically, I’d like to see health insurance decoupled from employment. The reason health insurance is so often provided by employers is because of wage controls during WWII and has been continued in part because of subsequent government policy.

The markets between health insurance and car insurance are obviously different in a number of ways, but if health insurance were more like car insurance, people would be more able to find the coverage that works best for them, and people would be more easily able to keep their coverage after switching or losing jobs.

A second proposal I like is the expansion of Health Savings Accounts. These allow people to save for health coverage and then pay for coverage from that. Since

Student opinions on a potential repeal of the ACA: Drew Rhynes: The Affordable Care Act was not perfect. While it had many badly needed solutions, there were also many flaws. It needs to be replaced with something better, but for now it’s better than nothing.

Saswat Das: No one knows what Obamacare does. It’s like 900 pages and even doctors don’t know what Obamacare does.

Kyra Manlove: I can’t speak for everyone else, but speaking personally, repealing Obamacare affects me negatively because I will no longer be able to stay on my parents’ insurance until I am 26. the legislation are sound.

Agreeable: -Individuals may remain covered under parents until age 26. Between 1 and 2 million Americans benefit from this aspect of the ACA. Although individuals are considered legal adults at age 18, it is reasonable to assume that citizens 18-26 do not have jobs that provide enough pay to cover insurance costs.

-Insurance companies can no longer drop sickly people as soon as they need to receive more care. Insurance ensures that an individual has care in the event that he/ she becomes ill. What is the point of having insurance if you are cut off as soon as the very reason why you purchased it occurs in your life?

-Insurance can no longer deny policies for pre-existing health conditions. This makes sure that all citizens are on equal ground and have access to all health insurance regardless of individual circumstances.

No person is less than another simply due to pre-existing health condition. Equality is further represented in that women can not longer be charged more than men. Age discrimination is also taken away due to companies no longer being allowed to place lifetime limits on health insurance policies.

Disagree/Issues: -I see a need for Medicaid in the United States. However, why did we create a new program that expanded a flawed program?

-On a personal note, one of my family member’s is a nurse at a local hospital. They see people who come into the emergency for minor issues, such as a cold, all of the time. By law, they are required to be served, but this overcrowds waiting rooms and gets in the way of people who legitimately need emergency medical attention. With ACA, this would only occur more often because doctors will no longer see Medicaid patients.

Brennen VanderVeen, student: So, in discussing repeal, there are several issues to consider. As to whether repeal should happen at all, I think it should, for a few different reasons. For one, I reject the Supreme Court’s justification of the individual mandate being constitutional as a tax. Secondly, I think the ACA is bad policy.

While many people have certainly gained access to coverage, others had to switch health insurance plans and premiums have risen for many people. I also don’t like the degree to which the government is able to define what constitutes good health care.

For instance, the law’s requirement that insurance companies provide preventive care was interpreted by HHS to mean basically all contraceptives, which resulted in that coverage being mandatory for people who really did not need it or who morally opposed it, although subsequent litigation

people pay from their own account, they would consider costs much more than they currently do. I know countries like Singapore have successfully used HSAs as one of several means of controlling costs.

Finally, there is the issue of what has actually been proposed. I’m not all that well-versed in current proposals, but I have read a little bit. I like Rand Paul’s proposals, at least in theory, but I haven’t seen a lot of analysis on them and I don’t think they’re politically viable. The main proposal, though, seems to be the one from Susan Collins and Bill Cassidy. That would allow states that like the ACA to keep it. I have no idea how that mechanism actually, works, though. Still, I support federalism, so I’m okay with states continuing ACA type policies of they so choose, though federal involvement makes me skeptical. That plan also keeps tax credits and subsidies, which I’m not necessarily opposed to doing, but having that sort of involvement makes it more likely that the government will have to define what constitutes good health care.

The plan apparently does include HSAs of some type, though.

Overall, I guess I would say that I entirely support repeal, and I think the Republican plan will ultimately be preferable to the status quo, but I’m skeptical that their reforms will be as good as they could be.

I’m expecting mediocrity, but hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised.

30 January 2017

News

The Collegian: 7

Protesters, mayor affirm support for immigrants Last Friday, in response to President Trump’s executive orders to begin wall construction along the U.S.-Mexico border and crack down on “sanctuary cities” for immigrants, Tulsans attended a protest downtown called “No Walls in Tulsa.” Jose Vega, a Program Director at Oklahomans for Equality, hosted the march, which started at Guthrie Green and went for four blocks across the Boston Bridge to Tulsa City Hall, to represent a message of “build bridges not walls.”

Over a hundred people attended to protest what they believe encourages harmful division of communities. Tulsa Mayor G.T. Bynum also released a statement on social media which said the executive orders do not affect Tulsa’s law enforcement practices, and that Bynum wants the immigrant community in Tulsa to feel “safe and welcome.”

The message of the protest was to “build bridges, not walls,” in response to Trump’s executive order to build a wall along the US-Mexico border.

photos by Elias Brinkman

Several people spoke at the protest with a message of intersectionality.

Protesters marched from the Guthrie Green to Tulsa City Halll.

SA to conduct survey about Student Union restaurants A survey about changes students want to see in the Student Union will be available on Thursday.

Brennen VanderVeen Student Writer Starting on February 2, SA will be conducting a survey regarding dining options in the Student Union. The goal is to gauge student interest in the various dining establishments in the Student Union and to get suggestions for changes, such as different operating hours.

The idea for the survey originates from a November 14 meeting between SA’s Student Investigative Committee (SIC) and Mike Neal, TU’s Director of Dining Services. Joey Zitzman, the SIC chair, developed an initial sample survey to be given at the Student Experience Council on November 30. The goal of this survey was to make sure there would not be any problems when the survey was expanded to the student body at large.

That sample survey asks several questions, including favorite restaurant, how often one dines at the Student Union and how satisfied one is with the current dining options. It also has a section for people to rank the different restaurants from “Strongly Like” to “Strongly Dislike.” Finally, the survey also asks about expanding restaurant operating hours and increasing menu options.

Thirty people completed the sample survey. The class distribution was fairly equal among undergraduates. Sophomores and juniors were the least represented with twenty percent each and seniors were the most represented at thirty percent.

Chick-fil-A had the most respondents for favorite restaurant, with 33.3 percent of respondents selecting it. Einstein Bros. Bagels followed with 26.7 percent, Tossed with 20 percent, Benvenutos with 16.7 percent, Star

Ginger with 10 percent, Subway and Baja Jacks both at 6.7 percent, Pizza Hut with 3.3 percent, and Sushi Blu at 0 percent.

Restaurants also received a net favorability rating based on what description people gave in the survey. The options were “Strongly Like,” “Like,” “Neutral,” “Dislike” and “Strongly Dislike.” Those options were given a numerical value of 2, 1, 0, -1 and -2, respectively. Chick-fil-A and Subway each had a net favorability rating of 34; Benvenutos 21; Baja Jacks 20; Tossed 18; Subway 16; Sushi Blu 4; Star Ginger 1; Pizza Hut -11.

70 percent of students want Chick-fil-A, which closes at 2:30, to stay open later. Einstein’s received 46.7 percent; Benvenutos and Tossed each 30 percent; Star Ginger 20 percent and Sushi Blu and Baja Jacks each 6.7 percent. Subway and Pizza Hut were not included because they are both already open fairly late (11:00 PM).

70 percent of students also indicated that they wanted more menu options at Chick-

fil-A. At both Baja Jacks and Star Ginger, 23 percent of students want more options.

20 percent want more options at Pizza Hut. Benvenuto’s and Einstein’s both received 16.7 percent of the vote. Tossed had 13.3 percent. Subway and Sushi Blu each had 10 percent.

The survey did not actually suggest new menu options, though. Rather, students were able to write in what they wanted. Most of the suggestions were unique, as might be expected with an open ended response.

However, 16.7 percent of respondents wanted spicy chicken sandwiches at Chick-fil-A. Other Chick-fil-A recommendations included milkshakes and breakfast.

The survey that will be released on Thursday is mostly similar to the sample survey.

The biggest change is that it asks people who disliked or strongly disliked any restaurants why they selected them as such. It also contains a spot to put one’s name, email address and student ID number. The purpose of that is so that students can enter a draw-

ing for one of four $25 Amazon gift cards.

The funding for the cards came out of the University Collaborations section of SA’s budget and was allocated by the SA Senate.

The survey will probably be conducted in both paper and electronic form. Some copies of the survey will be passed out, and it will also be distributed through all-school email and on SA’s website. The survey is expected to be open through February 10, but it will go as long as is needed for the 220 student goal to be achieved. The results are expected to be available about a week after the survey closes.

The survey is of course nonbinding and won’t necessarily result in change. However, Zitzman said that Neal and Sodexo are both “open to hearing from the Students for any restaurants at the Union” and that “Dining has seen and given their metaphorical stamp of approval for the survey. Sodexo has stated that the results of the survey will be given due consideration with themselves and necessary parties.”

photo by Michaela Flonard

While most respondents of the initial survey favored Chick-fil-A, at 33.3 percent, Benvenuto and Tossed each won about 20 percent of the vote for favorite restaurant.

News panel offers journalists’ opinions on state of media “News for a New World” reflected on how journalists impacted and will be impacted by the digital age.

Grace McFee Student Writer In light of the events of the 2016 presidential election, and the role of media throughout the race, an open panel of Tulsa journalists, authors and news anchors gathered to discuss the role of media in society and how that role has changed with the development of technology. Michael Mason, author and founding editor of This Land Press; Clay Loney, Fox 23 anchor; Ziva Branstetter, editor-in-chief of The Frontier; Charles Ely, anchor for KTUL; Randy Krehbiel, Tulsa World staff writer; and Cliff Adcock, journalist at Oklahoma Watch, all had a lot to say about technology and its effect on media coverage.

When asked how technology has changed the media, the panelists all generally stated that technology has advanced the ease and

reach of journalistic endeavors across all forms of media. Krehbiel believes this technological revolution began early, citing that “FM radio created nice broadcasting, cable TV created cable news and the internet created 300 million printing presses in the US alone...turning a mass media society into a fragmented, niche news society.”

Branstetter asserted that “the ability to report events from any platform anywhere and the ability to be your own platform” has increased the reach and immediate relevance of journalism.

In response, Mason readily admitted that the smartphone in particular creates new citizen journalists every day, but believes “citizen journalists are often able to do what newspapers and journalist often can’t: crowd-sourced investigative reporting.”

Loney, however, disagreed, stating: “I doesn’t trust a lot of what I see online because it’s too easy to fake it. It’s easier to get information, but it’s also easier to access BS.” The most relevant problem today, according to Ely, is deciding who to cater

to when writing articles, especially since the internet allows immediate feedback. A problem most journalists face is whether to frame something for readers on social media sites such as Twitter or whether to write their articles more traditionally. Adcock agreed, saying “you can see in real time how many views and shares you get...it drives how we write and what is written.” With all our options, there is no longer any such thing as watching/reading the news, but rather the conundrum of which news to watch/read.

With particular regard for the election, Adcock said: “What legitimized Trump was his relationship with the media...whenever they attacked him, it only solidified his support. It was mutually beneficial in the worst way.” In response, Krehbiel stated: “Our profession gets in trouble when we don’t listen enough...during the election the national media pontificated too much and didn’t listen enough.” Ely similarly admitted that “journalism abdicated its ethics to the big picture during the election,” supported

by Branstetter’s claim that “Trump got more free media than anyone because he’s

very savvy at getting attention.” While Mason may not agree with the outcome of the election, he remarked: “the election represents the most exciting, revolutionary leaps in journalism: frenzied multidimensional voices all creating a single narrative.” Adcock agreed, saying “the coverage of Trump throughout the election was an example of how social media drives journalistic agenda.”

At the conclusion of the panel, the members all agreed with Branstetter’s assessment of media trends: “People are starting to follow journalists more than organizations...it’s about trust and willingness to approach things in different ways and to try new things.” Similarly, Krehbiel stated: “It’s nice to have different kinds of media: the ones willing to take the risks and the button-down, cautious ones as well.” Ultimately, “facts and truth are not always the same...there may not be alternate facts, but there are other interpretations of reality...the trick is sifting through it,” said Krehbiel.

The Collegian: 8

Jan. 11 12:40 p.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers initiated a traffic stop with a vehicle for running a stop sign.

After making contact with the driver, it was determined that they were a TU student.

While issuing the student a ticket for running the stop sign, officers could smell an odor similar to marijuana coming from the vehicle. The student admitted that they had marijuana in the vehicle.

12:10 p.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were stopped by a staff member who found a firearm on the sidewalk on the west side of Delaware just south of Collins Fitness Center. Tulsa Police Department arrived on scene and confiscated the firearm which they stated was reported stolen. It is unknown at this time if the stolen firearm is part of a TPD pursuit that happened in that area.

3:25 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to Lorton Village

News

apartments in response to two unknown individuals selling magazines. Upon arrival, officers searched the area with no success of finding the suspects. Officers were then sent to Hardesty Hall where the Resident Director called and reported a similar incident.

Officers arrived and gathered information from the two students who had contact with the suspects.

Jan. 12 1:00 a.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers noticed some students climbing over the railing behind Zink Hall. After making contact with the students, alcohol was found in their possession and all of the students admitted they were under 21 years of age. Officers had the students pour out the alcohol and disposed of the container. The students were told to head back to their respective residences on campus.

10:05 a.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate possible harassment at the College of Law. A staff member at the college of law reported a couple of disturbing e-mail communications that had been received. A former applicant to the college was expressing animosity toward the admissions staff member.

The applicant had been denied financial aid to attend the college a few years ago. This incident is currently under investigation.

Jan. 14 4:20 a.m.

Nathan Gibbons Distribution Manager

Iraqi forces to take Mosul University Iraqi forces have retaken the eastern half of Mosul, Iraq, after months of fighting and continue to push in western Mosul. In mid-January, Iraqi soldiers moved to take Mosul University from the Islamic State. Mosul University was a strategic stronghold, as many of its buildings overlooked neighborhoods of the Tigris River. “The university is completely liberated and forces are sweeping the complex for any hiding militants,” Counter Terrorism Service spokesman Sabah al-Numan said. Before ISIS took Mosul in 2014, Mosul University was well renowned for its academics.

“For us law students at Mosul University, our only dream when we left high school was to go to Mosul University...It is an esteemed university, known globally and regionally. People speak of it wherever you go,” said Kawkab Salman Kawkab. 750,000 people are still suffering in the western half of Mosul, sources say. Lise Grande, United Nations Humanitarian Coordinator for Iraq, said, “We don’t know what will happen in western Mosul but we cannot rule out the possibility of siege-like conditions or a mass exodus...It’s terrifying to think of the risks families are facing.”

Salk Institute creates human/pig chimeras Last Thursday, researchers from the Salk Institute for Biological Studies announced they successfully grew human cells and tissue in pig and cattle embryos. DNA that would create a pig pancreas was removed from a day-old pig embryo and replaced with DNA necessary for a human pancreas. Growing human organs inside animals has long been a goal of many scientists’, as it could help provide transplantable organs to patients in need.

The process currently is not very viable, as the researchers mentioned they had only achieved about a one in 100,000 survival rate. “Species evolve independently, and many factors dictating the developmental programs might have diverged, which makes it difficult to blend cells from one species to a developing embryo from another,” said Dr. Jun Wu, the first author of the research. “The larger the evolutionary distance, the more difficult for them to mix.” Wu and other researchers also used CRISPR, a geneediting technology, to knock out genes in mice that might grow a mouse heart. When rat stem cells were put in its place, the rat cells outcompeted the mice cells and a rat heart was grown in the mouse. CRISPR has not been used with pigs and human cells yet, Wu said, but that research is on its way.

Israeli Prime Minister praises Trump’s wall Last Saturday, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu tweeted “President Trump is right. I built a wall along Israel’s southern border. It stopped all illegal immigration. Great success. Great idea.” Netanyahu likely wants to forge a better alliance with Trump than he had with former President Obama. Last Wednesday, Trump made good on a campaign promise to build a new border wall between Mexico and the United States.

Trump said in a statement, “Beginning today, the United States of America gets back control of its borders...We are going to save lives on both sides of the border.” Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto has said that Mexico refuses to pay the bill, despite Trump claiming otherwise. Congress has scrambled to find the money to build the wall, which is purported to cost anywhere from 8 to 20 billion dollars. President Trump’s executive orders also called for the hiring of thousands of immigration and border patrol agents.

Russian president and Trump agree to cooperate According to the Kremlin, President Trump and Russian President Putin had their first official phone call last Saturday and agreed to act as partners against terrorism and forge stronger economic and political ties between their two countries. Trump and Putin’s agreement comes during a time of tension between Moscow and Washington, as American officials stew over Russia’s involvement in the Ukrainian crisis, the Syrian war and the DNC email hackings.

The phone call was one of many conversations Trump had with world leaders last Saturday. President Trump started the morning with a call to Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. A White House statement read, “President Trump affirmed the iron-clad U.S. commitment to ensuring the security of Japan...President Trump and Prime Minister Abe said they would consult and cooperate on the threat posed by North Korea.” Trump also spoke with German Chancellor Angela Merkel and discussed NATO, the Middle East, North Africa and Trump’s relations with Russia.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to Hardesty Hall on a report of a student entering another student’s room and sleeping in their bed without authorization. Officers woke the student and escorted them from the room. The student was underage and admitted to drinking alcohol.

12:15 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to investigate possible credit fraud at Fisher Hall. Upon arrival officers made contact with a student who reported that their personal credit card information had been used to make a purchase at an unknown location in Europe. The student has not been to Europe. The credit card has already been cancelled. The student was advised to contact the Tulsa Police Department for further information on international credit fraud.

2:15 p.m.

While on routine patrol University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were approached by a student who reported that a fraternity house was burning a couch on their patio.

Security Officers and the Tulsa Fire Department responded and put the fire out. The Fire Department stated it was unauthorized for the fraternities to have burn pits. This incident is being further investigated.

10:25 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to US West Apartments for a report of 3-4 possible gunshots/ altercation. Upon arrival officers spoke with

30 January 2017

the reporting party and stopped people in the area for questioning. The source of the noise was determined to have been a student damaging an air-conditioning unit, and a possible altercation. The individuals were located and determined to be under the influence of alcohol.

Jan. 15 3:35 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to Brown Village Apartments to investigate a possible noise complaint. Upon arrival Officers made contact with the resident of the apartment who stated they were watching Netflix. A contact card was issued and the resident was advised to keep the noise down. The resident complied and was issued a contact card.

7:15 p.m.

University of Tulsa campus Security Officers were dispatched to University Square West Apartments in regards to loud screaming. Upon arrival, officers made contact with a individual coming out of the building. Officers questioned the individual, who stated that the loud screaming was from them when the Green Bay Packers won the football game. Officers advised the students to keep the noise level down, the students complied without further incident.

The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Wednesday, February 1 at 5:00pm to 6:00pm Student Union, Alcove Student Experience Council This is your chance to let SA know what you think about food, entertainment and clothing giveaways.

Join us the Alcove in the Student Union on Feb 1 at 5 p.m.

FREE BROWNIES!!

Wednesday, February 1 at 10:30am to 12:00pm Student Union TU World Hijab Day For some people, hijab is a symbol of oppression and segregation, however some regard it as a form of freedom and empowerment. Discover the meaning and significance of hijab or modest clothing accross cultures and faiths by joining us on February 1, which is also an international celebration.

We cordially invite Muslim and non-Muslim women to experience wearing the hijab for a day and show your solidarity to those who choose to wear hijab in their daily life. Bring your own scarf or limited free hijab is available.

10:30 am - Hijab Styling Session 12:00 pm - World Hijab Day Student Panel Wednesday, February 1 at 7:00pm to 9:30pm Student Union, Great Hall A Carry The Love It’s time to go! This year we are rallying together for a powerful night of worship and missions. Students from each corner of campus are uniting as one to say to Jesus, “I’m all in!” The missions call is not just for those in the nations, but is for each one of us.

It’s going wherever he is calling us, whether it’s our campus, our city, or the nations!

Carry The Love is a statement. It is a pledge to live a lifestyle of selfless and sacrificial love. Will you?

Wednesday, February 1 at 7:00pm to 9:00pm Gilcrease Museum, Tom Gilcrease Jr. Auditorium Historic Monologue: Benedict Arnold In collaboration with the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation, the museum offers a program of living history featuring performer Scott Green as the famous Benedict Arnold. Learn more about the patriot and one-time war hero who chose a path of betrayal after becoming disillusioned with the cause and George Washington.

Arrive early to enjoy coffee, hot chocolate and cookies in the Vista Room from 6:00 - 7:00 pm.

Registration required. $8 Gilcrease members; $10 not-yet members Thursday, February 2 at 5:00pm Greenwood Cultural Center Children of the Civil Rights A screening of the documentary film about the OKC lunch counter sit-ins, cohosted with the Greenwood Cultural Center and featuring a panel discussion with some of the original protesters.

Thursday, February 2 at 7:00pm to 9:00pm Tyrrell Hall, Auditorium Religion Lecture: Bart D. Ehrman on Misquoting Jesus Join us for a lecture by Bart D. Ehrman, Distinguished Professor of Religious Studies at UNC Chapel Hill. He will present his talk “Misquoting Jesus: Scribes Who Changed The Scriptures, And Readers Who May Never Know.”

Friday, February 3 at 7:30pm Lorton Performance Center, Gussman Hall Expressions: City-Wide Black History Talent Show This event is hosted by The University of Tulsa Student Association and Association of Black Collegians as the kickoff event for Black History Month celebrations.

We are seeking performers to show off their expression of black history and culture, and celebrate trailblazing performers. A total of $1000 will be awarded to the winners in areas of vocal music, instrumental music, dance, step, or spoken word.

All ages and people are welcome to audition!

If you have any questions or concerns, please email tulsau.abc@gmail.com Here is the submission link: https://goo.gl/forms/NKdinzXTWBtW7Mv33 The breakdown of the $1000 prize money will be decided after auditions based on the type and number of auditions received.

The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar.

Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

30 January 2017

Commentary

The Collegian: 9

Republicans need a repeal/delay approach to ACA

Given the difficulty of passing a replacement for the Affordable Care Act, Republicans should be cautious to keep Americans insured during the process.

Hannah Kloppenburg Editor-in-Chief A couple weeks ago, the House voted 51 to 48 to approve a budget blueprint that would set the stage for a reconciliation bill, a beginning to the process of repealing Obamacare. (Contrary to what several popular social media posts claimed, they did not vote at the time to repeal sections of Obamacare).

A budget blueprint is not presented to the president and does not become a law; rather, it serves as a guideline for Congress.

A reconciliation bill is a type of legislation that would make it easier for Republican legislators to repeal sections of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) without the risk of a Democratic filibuster. It would also pave the way for Republicans to attack parts of the ACA that involve a cost to the government by stripping them of funding.

A repeal of the ACA seems very likely, since this vehicle, which only requires 50 Senate votes, is already underway. Representative Diane Black (R. -Ten.) said that key House committees would vote within two weeks on draft repeal legislation, and that the final reconciliation bill would be ready in late February or early March.

A replacement, however, which requires 60 votes, is much less certain. Republican legislators have proposed a slew of replacements for the ACA, but have yet to confirm a plan or set a timeline for executing it.

Tom Price (R. -Ga.) and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R. -Wis.) have proposed plans that would remove the mandates for individuals and businesses with 50 or more full-time workers to purchase health insur-

ance. The government would offer tax credits to buy insurance in their place.

Cynthia Cox, associate director of the Kaiser Family Foundation, says a “continuous coverage” policy seems a likely proposal. Under this policy, anyone with a preexisting condition would need to have no gaps in insurance coverage in order to avoid being denied by insurance companies. Most of the proposed replacement plans, in fact, are reportedly less friendly to people with pre-existing conditions.

Under various other proposals, younger consumers would likely pay less than they do now, while older consumers would likely pay more. Insurers would also be able to charge women more than men for coverage.

During the budget blueprint proposal, the Senate rejected all amendments brought forth by Democrats: clauses intended to allow prescription imports from Canada, protect rural hospitals and ensure access to insurance for those with pre-existing conditions. Democrats proposed these “messaging amendments” in order to advertise that Republicans were opposing popular parts of the ACA. As they well should — as I read

repeal Obamacare as soon as possible. It would also delay key aspects of the repeal for a few years. The current system would continue for that time while a replacement is developed and passed.

Proponents of repeal and replace would rather repeal Obamacare immediately and pass a replacement bill soon after. President Trump has spoken in favor of this approach, saying that he has a replacement plan that is “less expensive and far better,” but will not reveal it until his pick for Health and Human Service, Tom Price, is confirmed. This plan seems to be favored by GOP leaders as the Senate and House rush into the repeal process.

This approach would certainly make sense for the GOP — that is, if there was a replacement plan. Lawmakers have questioned the current timeline. Sen. Susan Collins (R. -Ma.) said “I don’t see any possibility of our being able to come up with a comprehensive reform bill that would replace Obamacare by the end of this month.”

Vice President Mike Pence at one point suggested that replacing the ACA could take up to two years.

graphic by Madeline Woods

The Republicans’ budget blueprint may be a good guideline moving forward, but is not the full plan needed to replace the ACA.

more about how Republicans are undecided on a replacement plan and have no real consensus on a timeline for repeal and replacement, I become more and more worried.

Two schools of thought have arisen amongst Republicans in the ACA debate: “repeal and delay” and “repeal and replace.”

GOP leaders contend that neither approach would leave Obamacare consumers without coverage.

The repeal and delay approach would

Replacing the plan, which took years to become part of American healthcare and will likely take years to dismantle, on the GOP’s current timeline just doesn’t seem feasible. Due to the current lack of consensus on a plan or a timeline, I urge the GOP to adopt the repeal and delay approach.

The risks of quickly repealing the ACA without offering a comprehensive replacement plan are numerous. The Congressional Budget Office and the Joint Committee on

Taxation released a report that said repealing parts of the ACA would increase the number of uninsured people in the US by 18 million during the first year new health care plans are enacted under the repeal. A recent study by the Commonwealth Fund and Rand Corp. found that without repeal, an individual ACA policy would cost $3,200 a year on average in 2018. With repeal, the average cost of a replacement policy would rise to $4,700.

Most importantly, loss of insurance coverage can lead to a loss of life. A comprehensive study from the New England Journal of Medicine found that for every 455 people who gained insurance coverage across several states, one life was saved per year. If that figure is applied to an estimated 20 million losing coverage in the event of a repeal, we can estimate 43,956 deaths annually due to lack of coverage.

These are serious consequences, and yet the GOP is still rushing to repeal and replace. It seems as though the urge to repeal is largely symbolic, and while that’s admittedly a smart political move for conservatives, it doesn’t bear in mind the best interests of the constituents.

I can recognize that there are some issues with Obamacare that need to be smoothed out — it’s extremely complex, difficult for the public to understand and costly to taxpayers. I don’t necessarily see an issue with repealing it as long as Republicans come through on their promise to offer a replacement plan that won’t leave the 20 million Americans who gained insurance under Obamacare without any sort of coverage. A common sense approach would be to not repeal the ACA until a replacement is solidly decided upon.

Since it appears that isn’t going to happen, I would urge Republican legislators to proceed with caution. The repeal and delay approach would afford Republicans the symbolic victory over Democrats (and specifically over former president Obama) of an instant repeal, while also avoiding an abrupt loss of coverage.

Republicans wouldn’t have to bear the political burden of that loss. More importantly, we would avoid the national-scale consequences of making a hasty decision on a policy that touches the life of nearly every American in some way.

Trans-Pacific Partnership didn’t benefit American workers

Although international cooperation has long-term benefits, the US doesn’t need to sign detrimental trade policies to that end.

Nathan Gibbons Distribution Manager

In one week, Trump attacked NAFTA and the immigration policy, shut down the Trans-Pacific Partnership, started dismantling the Affordable Care Act and began building the wall. Say whatever you want of Trump’s first days in office, but one of these moves shouldn’t be lumped in with the others. The Trans-Pacific Partnership was doomed to a similar fate had almost any other nominee won the past election, and for good reason.

The Trans-Pacific Partnership was negotiated as an extension of an agreement made in 2005 called the Trans-Pacific Strategic Economic Partnership Agreement, which already involved Brunei, New Zealand, Singapore and Chile. In 2008, the aforementioned countries joined the United States, Australia, Peru and Vietnam in TPP negotiations. As the years went by, Malaysia, Mexico, Canada and Japan joined negotiations as well.

The plan was to strengthen economic ties between all nations involved by cutting import and export tariffs and emphasizing freer trade. As a supposed bonus, nations would be held to new regulation standards including environmental protection and workers’ rights. Countries’ GDP would likely rise over the long term. Progressives and those who work in the financial sector tend to back the partnership.

On the other hand, “freer trade” isn’t always better. Bring down tariffs, and it’s easier to import and export goods. If it’s easier to import goods, American manufacturers that create import-competitive goods receive less demand. Less demand means less money, and less money means lower wages and fewer workers. This is obviously a big issue with labor unions and their allies, who have already seen the domestic consequences of a growing global economy.

For those who weren’t sold on the last issue, currency manipulation was enough to make them oppose the partnership. The TPP, as it exists now, would still allow countries to artificially depreciate their currencies. A country sells their currency, usually against dollars, to keep exchange rates low. This raises the price of their imports, subsidizes their exports, and allows them a larger trade surplus. The country’s labor and domestic production grows while the United States and others suffer in return. Some estimate that the United States’ trade deficit is hundreds of billion dollars larger and that millions of jobs were lost during the Great Recession thanks to this protectionist policy.

Senator Bernie Sanders argues that trades should be made only when they benefit the American worker, something TPP does not accomplish. Hillary Clinton, who said during Obama’s presidency that she hoped

TPP would become the next “gold standard,” later opposed TPP, saying it didn’t reach her “standards for more new, good jobs for Americans, for raising wages for

incredible opportunities it provides. Instead, America should write the rules. America should call the shots. Other countries should play by the rules that America and our part-

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

The international cooperation between these countries was a higher priority for former president Obama than it is for President Trump.

Americans...And I want to make sure that I can look into the eyes of any middle-class American and say, ‘This will help raise your wages.’” Trump’s opinions of the partnership is already well-known. If TPP was bad for American workers, why was it signed?

Former president Obama, one of TPP’s greatest proponents, saw the deal as much more than an economic deal. In a statement, Obama said, “I understand the skepticism people have about trade agreements, particularly in communities where the effects of automation and globalization have hit workers and families the hardest. But building walls to isolate ourselves from the global economy would only isolate us from the

ners set, and not the other way around...The world has changed. The rules are changing with it. The United States, not countries like China, should write them.” Although I agree with the former president’s long term planning, patriotism and global vision, I also agree with other politicians who say that America has been too willing to compromise to get what it wants. If we want better security, better alliances and to write the rules with our global partners, we should keep working towards that goal. TPP, however, is one step forward, two steps back.

America shouldn’t leave its own workers in the dust to move forward globally.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

With the exception of the American flag, the above flags represent the countries who belong to the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

Commentary

The Collegian: 10

30 January 2017

SA’s funding process needs to change Despite existing for years, the funding process for organizations is horribly complex and difficult to master, resulting in lost student money and a high turnover rate for the FAC Chair.

Student writer Nate Beckemeyer outlines the process, its problems and some potential solutions.

Imagine that you’re trying to host an event for an organization, and you’d like to get money from Student Association to host the event. Organizations go through this process all the time, so it must intuitive and

more than $100 on food, then you must file a catering exemption. If you don’t file the exemption, or you file it incorrectly, then you don’t get money, per university (not SA, as is common misconception) policy. Then,

The current funding system can leave students drowning in paperwork.

effective, right? Absolutely not.

Let me tell you the steps that you need to take. First, if you want to cater from anywhere but Sodexo and you want to spend

you need to file an event sponsorship application. These two forms ask for a significant amount of overlapping information, which makes you wonder why you must fill both

This thirty day requirement is to be within “the proper accounting period,” as Joan Carter, accounts payable manager, puts it.

She works for the business office, which handles the final stretch of the journey where the money finally reaches your personal bank account.

“Wait, my personal bank account?” I hear you asking. Of course. Personal student money is always on the line. That reality is the most terrifying part of this convoluted process: Events hosted by student organizations for all of the TU community are paid for with students’ personal money. While ostensibly this requirement seems fair, for reasons that will become apparent as you continue reading, it’s actually quite absurd.

If you can’t afford to pay for your event up front, then you’d better find someone else to pay for it. No one else is willing?

That’s perfectly understandable, given the inherent risk associated with waiting for a reimbursement that may never come. Well, too bad. You don’t get to hold your event.

But, I mean, the process is actually pretty simple if you file all of the forms correctly and punctually, right? Certainly. Unless a problem happens at one of these steps. And I know that a problem can happen at each of these steps from personal experience, or from seeing it happen to someone else. For instance, the FAC has submitted the wrong bill to Senate. The funding application got lost. The FAC gave a meeting time, and when the representative arrived, no one was present. Sometime after SA submitted the form to the business office, a check request just disappeared for months.

Ideally, you have to wait one week for reimbursement. I’m approaching four months.

Many problems occurred in the process last semester at no one’s hand. Luke Lau and Kim Bartlett were FAC co-chairs for

being FAC chair because of the workload and time commitment needed to do the job well.” After her “co-chair had to suddenly step down,” she had “to pick up the slack and quickly.” She said, “I had a lot of help from Vice-President Whitney Cipolla, Treasurer Cocking, and Deputy Chief of Staff Clement, but it was not a position that I felt I could take on for much longer. This is a committee that needs all of your attention if you are doing it alone and I could not promise that for an extended period of time.”

Let me break down a bit why being FAC chair can be so stressful. For one thing, the FAC chair gets a lot of emails: People complaining about money, people saying that they filled out the forms, the actual applications for funding, questions about funding, meeting requests, etc. They have to write the bills, which Austin (who replaced Luke and Kim as FAC chair after they left) said takes him “hours upon hours.” They must go to the Senate meetings (which last several hours each week) and argue for or against the award of funding to organizations. And the process can be soul-sucking.

That’s the reason that Luke Lau quit.

“What triggered it was the [Kappa Delta] bill that went through that night [of Senate],” he said.

“Saudi Student Club and the Chinese Student Association went before KD’s event and they were heavily scrutinized for their attendance as they both spent more on food than their attendance would allow for and while I knew that it was gonna happen, I felt that they had done everything they could.

I told them before the event to spend less than their estimate just to be safe and they both did. So their representatives go up, I’ve seen all of the Chinese Student Association’s receipts and attendance sheets by then and the Saudi students had all their receipts

“You might be able to satisfy Senate by merely claiming the existence of sign-in sheets.” part of last semester — but only part. They both quit at different points throughout the semester, and I cannot blame them: Being FAC chair is unnecessarily arduous, and the misery of that job translates to pain for students. I asked both of them why they quit.

Luke quit first, but I’d like to start with why Kim quit. She said that she “stopped

and attendance sheets there, and then Senate nitpicks their attendance for quite a while… and they end up getting within $100 of their requested amount. I know for a fact that the Chinese Student Association spent way more than they requested that night, but it’s still good I guess. Like stuff happens. They were fine with it.”

of them out.

Next, if you anticipate at least 150 students, then you need to file an alcohol-free waiver for the event, indicating that you will … not have alcohol at your event. You wonder why this form is necessary, but it isn’t that much of a hassle, so you decide to fill it out anyway.

If you file early enough before your event, you go to an FAC (Financial Allocations Committee) meeting where the FAC chair kindly guides you on how to budget for your event and maximize the funding that SA gives you. Then, you host your event which might require sign-in sheets, depending on a number of factors, and file a post-event sponsorship application.

If you didn’t file for an FAC meeting early enough before your event, then you must now go to an FAC meeting. At this astoundingly pointless meeting, the FAC chair will ask you if the numbers that you submitted after your event are correct, one category at a time. You say yes to all of those things because, of course, you filled out the form correctly.

The emails giving meeting times used to be sent out the morning of the meetings, which was a problem. Austin Carr, the current FAC chair, changed that so now the meetings are sent out at 6pm the day before — a positive change, as you now have more time to plan to go the meeting or find someone to replace you if you cannot go.

Then, the FAC writes a bill which goes to

Senate. If your event cost less than $1000, then the FAC defends your bill at Senate for you, which is another positive increase from $500 last semester.

If your event cost over $1000, then you too must go to Senate. They give you an approximate time to arrive, which is almost never correct. When your organization’s event finally comes up on the agenda, they ask you questions about the event, including possibly producing a sign-in sheet. You answer their questions, then inexplicably are asked to leave the room like the discussion is secret, even though SA will publish minutes of the discussion afterwards anyway.

When they invite you back into the room after the discussion, they tell you how much money you got. Hooray!

Then, you wait several days to get an email saying that SA has transferred money to your organization’s account. Next, you fill out part of a check request, you produce the approval of the catering exemption, the e-mail from SA indicating that money was transferred for your event, the itemized receipts involved in the purchase and submit them to SA, which then submits them to the business office. You ask yourself why adding SA into this part of the process is necessary, rather than just submitting to the business office, but it really isn’t that big of a deal, so you move on.

You must complete this entire process in thirty days.

“And then the KD bill comes up. The organization representative did not seem like she had had a part in planning the event, and without attendance sheets, she says 412 in attendance, which was interesting to me because it was exactly at the start of the cap of the amount that they needed to get reimbursed for. I tell every representative to

The FAC chair already has to deal with an inadequately educated organization base; though, that might be because of how SA educates the organizations. Organizations send a representative to attend one of two meetings at the beginning of each semester with a powerpoint that may have outdated or incorrect information — like last semes-

It is difficult for students to get reimbursed in a timely matter.

bring their attendance sheets if they expect over 150 ..., to Senate when they have to go.

When I proposed to not fund it that night as there was no proof of attendance, people responded with ‘I went to the event and signed in so there were definitely sign in sheets,.’ or ‘I’ve been [in some position] for this sorority and I’ve never brought in sign in sheets but there’s always sign in sheets there.’ They never really say they had proof of the attendance, but they find literally every way to defend this person up there. And of course it passes, with no attendance sheets.”

Remember how earlier I said that you might need to produce sign-in sheets?

That’s subject to a number of factors, examples of which are given in the financial allocations guidelines. But those are only examples, and you might be able to satisfy Senate by merely claiming the existence of sign-in sheets.

ter, for example. Then, the FA (Financial Allocations) guidelines are put online. As someone who has been treasurer of an organization before, this document only really makes sense if you already understand it.

Then, the FAC has to deal with a fickle Senate which simply cannot make up its mind about how to fund organizations. To be fair, given the current system, this probably results in more organizations being funded than would be otherwise, a wonderful thing given the opacity and risk of the process.

Given the difficulty of being FAC chair, you might imagine that there is decent pay for working in that capacity. There isn’t. According to Chase Cocking, the current treasurer of SA, the FAC chair is paid minimum wage, $7.25 per hour, plus twenty cents for each year on SA.

30 January 2017 I asked Austin how many hours per week he worked for FAC chair, and he shared this little tidbit with me: “I do get 10 billable hours per week; however, I blow through my 10 billable hours within the first three days of the pay period. So Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, I’ve already used all my hours for that entire two-week period. So, typically, I’ll put in twenty hours [each week].”

I also asked Luke if he thought that the process needed to change. He highlighted many weaknesses of the process: “Organizations … forget to fill out one of the three applications in time, they decide to tell the truth about their attendance and it’s not enough for how much they spent on food.

Suddenly, students or departments are out sometimes hundreds of dollars, for usually a well planned event that they won’t get reimbursed for just cause they missed jumping through one of SA’s hoops. In the fall, whenever I caught it in time, I found my-

Commentary self meeting with organization representatives outside of FAC meetings to explain the process better or checking with them during their planning steps to make sure there wasn’t any chance that they would do something that Senate would not be able to fund.”

“Sometimes events need certain things that SA can’t fund that are integral to making an event how it is. Chinese Student Association’s Mid-Autumn Festival in the fall had mooncakes, something that’s definitely difficult to find in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Omani Night was decorated like a fancy dinner, table cloths, centerpieces and all. Try to do that on the $500 miscellaneous [rentals] category. Try to find good ethnic food in Tulsa and then try to get it at $7 per person that SA gives you. You end up with organizations that end up footing part of the bill for their event or you have pizza shoved into every monthly meeting that happens on campus.”

“The most important part of the org fund-

all graphics by Elias Brinkman

Merging all of the forms into one web document is one way to provide a smoother, faster process.

What if the organization doesn’t fill out these forms correctly, or forgets to fill one out, or doesn’t quite understand what to put in each box? That’s still a problem. And this area is where good web design can come into play.

I envision a singular web form that ameliorates these problems by providing useful information next to each box — the form on SA’s website already has this to some extent, but it could be improved, and it could be the only form. What if you could check a box to file a catering exemption request, as well? What if there were a checkbox asking about alcohol at the event, along with a description of what precautions must be taken if there were? If you check the box no, and your student attendance is less than 150, then nothing extra happens. If your student attendance is at least 150, an alcoholfree event waiver is automatically filed. If you plan to have alcohol, an alcohol event waiver is automatically filed.

There’s a text box where you can type out all of the forms of advertising that you used, and it isn’t clear that you need multiple special forms of advertising. Instead of a text box, you could have a bunch of checkboxes with a helpful hint indicating that you must be able to check multiple items, or options to write in your own. After all, flyers in a variety of buildings and digital signage are common methods of advertising — a checkbox would make the process simpler for organizations and the FAC chair. The form could have a list of examples of items that were previously approved for the miscellaneous category so that organizations better understand its purpose.

Those are just some of the ways to improve the clarity of the process. While updates to the funding application form will hopefully help reduce the FAC chair’s need to clarify information and speak to student organizations, that job will still require a lot of time and work, perhaps more than the

The Collegian: 11

ing process that needs to change is the Senate. It’s currently made out of some truly amazing people, people who need to fulfill a leadership requirement, and people who decide that some nights are the nights that they need everyone to hear their opinion and a meeting that’s already running until 12 is the perfect audience. And they’re all sitting in front of people who look up from their homework long enough to say Aye or Nay depending on which is more popular. Decisions are being made for student organization funding by people who have never been on the receiving end of the process, never tried planning around their caps, never struggled to get reimbursed either just cause they haven’t planned an event before or they come from Cabinet with their cap-less bottomless budgets. While funding guidelines aren’t something that can be changed immediately, changes for funding guidelines for Fall 2017 should be decisions that are made

during these coming months and the Spring Senate elections openings will be an opportunity for new ideas and people to make a difference in the current Senate behavior.”

Pay careful attention to the third paragraph, the observation of the fact that decisions about funding are made by people who have never had to follow the process.

That’s pretty upsetting when you remember how nitpicky they can be with student organizations, like the Chinese Student Association and Saudi Student Club.

I hope I’ve made it perfectly transparent how utterly miserable this process is, for students in particular but also for the FAC chair, and how desperately it needs to change. In my interview with Austin, he agreed with me that the process needed to change. In fact, when we spoke, he showed me many of the changes that he had already made to the FA guidelines before we spoke.

To that end, I have some suggestions.

FAC chair is being paid for.

So, I also recommend raising the FAC chair’s pay. That job is difficult and immensely time-consuming, beyond the amount that the chair is paid. To ensure that someone is always motivated to do the job, and that the compensation is more fair, better pay for the FAC chair would be a positive change.

Most importantly, the requirement for students to spend personal money on events, potentially being out hundreds of dollars, must be eliminated. A credit system would remedy this problem. I wholeheartedly agree with Austin: “Not everybody has a ton of bucks to spend on their event, and then once you split that money up into different people, there’s different receipts, somebody could lose it, so somebody’s not going to get reimbursed in a timely manner, or at all. I would love to have the credit system … It doesn’t make sense for us to disincentivize putting on large scale programming.” Then, the transaction can be authorized straight from the organization’s account, not involving student money at all.

Additionally, these organizations put the events on for all students, anyway, so it seems strange that their members are personally fiscally liable for the student turnout. Because the event is for the benefit of all students, it should be funded by SA’s money.

Obviously, there is one major pitfall: What if an organization vastly overestimates its attendance?

My suggestion to that problem is to have a two-fold system: SA can vote to finance

building, blasted it on social media, and had digital signage, so we expect 150 students to attend.” The organization meets with FAC, and the FAC then recommends an attendance level to fund — maybe the organization has not had this high of attendance before, so it thinks that only 120 students will attend. The organization might modify its budget to plan for 120 students, or it might try to plan for 150 students anyway.

The FAC then goes to Senate, and argues for the funding amount. Senate grants the amount that the FAC argues for, but the organization wants to spend more money.

So, they spend the money in the account to cover 120 students and their own personal money to cover the remaining 30 students.

But 160 students attend! Now they need to be reimbursed for the difference.

Either way, the organization files the post-event update. If its attendance and expenditures exceeded the recommended amount, the organization is reimbursed up to that level and the process continues as it currently works.

Organizations, especially new ones, would be able to request help for planning events from the FAC (or another committee) to help them secure funding and become a successful organization.

Ultimately, this change makes the process much less stressful for all sides: Students don’t worry about losing personal money, Senate doesn’t have to tell some unfortunate student that they will not be reimbursed after the money is spent and the FAC chair gets more information about the process, and fewer angry e-mails. It incentivizes larger

“I envision a singular web form that ameliorates these problems by providing useful information ...” the event for a certain amount before the event, and, if it underestimates, will finance the difference afterwards. The organization files the funding application, wherein it argues for a projected attendance number: “We have (or will) put flyers in every

events and encourages better planning. It’s more fair to the students and organizations participating.

Or, students could keep losing personal money because someone tripped somewhere in the current labyrinthine process.

Enlightenment Week is a model for the United States

Malaysian Student Association’s week-long event series brings hope and union to a country that desperately needs it.

Kyle Crutchfield Student Writer

Enlightenment Week provides students the opportunity to come together in religious understanding. Through active discussion and the sharing of different religious perspectives, Enlightenment Week creator Reeza Rosnan encouraged us students to support one another regardless of our ideological differences.

TU prides itself on its international focus.

One of the first facts incoming freshmen learn about TU is that our campus is home to a high number of international students.

Last semester, over one-quarter of our student body came from beyond the border.

What this means for our campus is not just an increase in ethnic, racial and otherwise skin-deep diversity, but an expansion of beliefs, values and attitudes that are born out of different students’ life experiences

and cultural backgrounds. TU, at least administratively, is a symbol for diversity and acceptance of cultural differences.

Enlightenment Week was student Reeza Rosnan and the Malaysian Student Association’s attempt to embrace our school’s diversity mission by gathering our different religious perspectives together in order to bring us closer towards understanding one another. Through an interactive Interfaith Dinner replete with student-led performances, prayers and discussions, and a weeklong open house including the various oncampus ministries, Enlightenment Week captured and mobilized TU’s diversity mission by providing a shared space and fostering a shared learning experience amongst our religiously diverse student body.

“My goal is to encourage students to be aware of issues that affect their fellow friends from different faiths,” said Rosnan.

“I hope to instill a little bit of love and understanding so that if our fellow brothers

lightenment Week is a unique opportunity to really challenge our beliefs and understand each others’ religious differences through willful, active engagement.

The point that Rosnan makes about protecting our “fellow brothers and sisters” is probably the most powerful aspect of Enlightenment Week. What makes it different from many other religious gatherings is that the emphasis is less on religion and more on gathering together. What’s important is that we come together, not with the intention to proselytize, but with the intention to understand, ultimately, that we all are people who hurt and that we are all capable of love that transcends religious differences.

One of Rosnan’s motivations for doing Enlightenment Week was the love that the students of the University of Alberta showed to their fellow Sikh students (of the religion Sikhism, founded in India).

Last September, the students there discovered posters on campus that showed a

“The emphasis is less on religion and more on gathering together.” and sisters from different faiths are hurt, we will feel the same and want to protect them.”

The key word here really is understanding. Understanding a religion that’s different from our own requires action. We have to listen intently, process the information that’s given, ask questions and, above all, be willing to do each of these things. En-

picture of a Sikh man wearing a turban with the caption, “Fuck your turban.” Another caption said “Go the fuck back to where you came from!” Outraged, the students came together in solidarity to support the University’s Sikh community by wearing colorful turbans around campus.

Regardless of each student’s individual

religious background or lack thereof, they all felt the same hurt that their Sikh friends felt. It was a hurt not of any religious nature, but of a personal one. “[The students] did not just sweep the issue under the rug and pretend like nothing happened,” said Rosnan. “This behavior...is nurtured and is becoming a culture at their university.”

With current political configurations in America, we may be entering an era in which our religion overtakes our culture.

The threats directed towards Muslims, for example, from our newly incumbent president is an early indication of this. The fear that Islam is an inherently violent religion, grounded in jihadism which, in turn, promotes terrorism, is based in a very dubious understanding of the cultural implications of Islam. Nevertheless, it has already been and will continue to be used as a political argument for the “dangers” Islam poses to our American culture. (Maybe if Mr. Trump participates in the next Enlightenment Week he’ll stop this hurtful line of rhetoric, but it’s probably wishful thinking.)

Enlightenment Week acts as a reminder that even though political tensions are high at the moment, there are still people out there who are willing to learn about different people and their beliefs and are even willing to take action towards treating them as equal human beings (which they are). The importance of events like Enlightenment Week and the inclusive behaviors they empower us to engage in cannot be overstated, especially in times like now.

Commentary

The Collegian: 12

30 January 2017

Accountability committee important for Okla.

Senate Minority Leader John Sparks’ proposition is an excellent way to handle situations like Dan Kirby’s sexual assault allegations.

Nathan Hinkle Student Writer

In response to the problems resulting from allegations of sexual harassment and wrongful termination being laid against two Oklahoma senators, a new committee is being set up to further investigate these complaints. The idea for this committee was created by Senate Minority Leader John Sparks. Sexual assault allegations have been laid against Representative Dan Kirby of Tulsa and Will FourKiller of Stilwell. This new committee would allow any lawmaker to request an investigation. Once this request is placed, the committee would decide whether or not the investigation will

move forward. According to the measure, the committee’s job would be “to investigate any allegation of a violation of a law, any policy of either house of the legislature or any other impropriety which may have been committed by a member of the legislature.” If the committee agrees to investigate a case, it sends the gathered data to the head leader of the chamber in which the perpetrator works, or criminal authorities.

There remains the issue of control over the committee. According to this measure, the committee will be comprised of 12 people. There will be three people chosen by the house majority leader, three chosen by the House Majority Leader, three chosen by the Pro Tempore, or highest ranking senator, and three by the Senate Majority Leader.

This distribution of power throughout the government seeks to provide equal power in the committee. Through this system, the government is hoping that no one will ever completely control this investigatory council. However, there is always the problem of the group being an even number of people, which could potentially lead to gridlock.

This committee is especially important because of the recent allegations about representative Dan Kirby. These allegations stated that Dan Kirby possibly sexually harassed two of his former assistants. Dan Kirby then refused to speak at a house panel, stating that “the rules imposed by the com-

mittee, which meets behind closed doors, impeded [his] right to due process.” One of the major issues behind this case was that former House Speaker Jeff Hickman paid out a $44,000 settlement to one of Kirby’s former executive assistants over a wrongful termination and sexual harassment complaint. Hickman stated that “there was no sexual harassment, but it was cheaper to settle the grievance rather than litigate it.”

courtesy Ballotpedia

Dan Kirby’s sexual assault allegations have become a major controversy in Oklahoma.

After this allegation was brought forward, Dan Kirby’s committee chairmanship was revoked by current house speaker Charles McCall over Kirby’s refusal to talk to the committee. In response to all of these allegations, Kirby has now officially agreed on meeting the committee on the 27th of January, stating: “I believe it is in the best interest of my constituents and citizens of the state of Oklahoma that I appear before the committee and respond to the allegations lodged against me.”

Dan Kirby is not the only one under accusations of sexual harassment. Representative FourKiller was told in 2015 that one of his actions made one of his pages uncomfortable. If either set of claims proves to be true, the House could vote with a two-thirds majority to expel Kirby or FourKiller. This would require Governor Mary Fallin to create a special election to find new representatives.

Whether or not both Dan Kirby and Will FourKiller are guilty in these claims of sexual harassment, it is important that there is a functioning system in which crimes such as these are not just pushed aside but rather brought into the light so that they can be solved. This committee will have its problems, but it seems like a good step to help bring justice to these serious issues involving Oklahoma’s elected officials.

Health at Every Size can Education can help stop change wellness rhetoric blackface before college

Although fitness discussion tends to focus on pounds and waist sizes, Health at Every Size looks at individual health instead of universal definitions.

Nicole Lee Student Writer

Diet, exercise, weight loss, health, nutrition: all are words that are prominent in today’s culture. Society has become transfixed on ways to increase health. Whether it be through a certain meal plan, exercise regimen or a loss of “x” amount of weight, media promote various recommendations to increase health. Currently, doctors, media and health courses focus on BMI and weight as an indicator of health. Concerns about people who are regarded as “overweight” and “obese” are still being addressed by a diverse range of interventions to reduce BMI, and it is encouraged that weight loss is a way to increase individual and population health. However, while traditional weight loss approaches involve calorie restriction and increased energy expenditure, new research is beginning to show these approaches towards health improvement are inconsistent. In fact, weight is not linked to or a determinant of health; on the contrary, research is beginning to show that some overweight individuals are actually healthier than their “normal” weight counterparts.

Traditional health improvement tactics that typically involve recommendation of weight loss are not in line with stated goals of improving health. Given these inconsistencies, an alternative and weight-neutral approach

Banana

to improve health and well-being is emerging — a concept introduced as “Health at Every Size.”

Health at Every Size (HAES) was coined

by Linda Bacon, Ph.D, a health professor and researcher holding graduate degrees in physiology, psychology and exercise metabolism, with a specialty in nutrition. HAES strives to promote health behaviors such as body acceptance, intuitive eating and active embodiment for people of all sizes without using weight as a mediator of health. It disputes the claim that dieting and weight loss behaviors are the solution for the “problem” of obesity and contends that this approach has become more harmful than effective. The weight-focused paradigm has been shown to be not only ineffective, as 95 percent of diets do not work for weight loss long-term, but also damaging. This approach contributes to food and body preoccupation, cycles of weight loss and regain which have a worse effect on health than maintaining a higher weight, and reduced self-esteem, eating disorders and other health detriments. Health at Every Size calls for a paradigm shift that moves the focus from weight management to improved health behaviors for people of all sizes without weight as a mediator. This weight-neutral approach to health emphasizes that in “learning to value their bodies as they are right now… people strengthen their ability to take care of themselves and sustain improvements in health behavior.”

This is in direct contrast to most approaches, which use shame, guilt or discontentment to force change. HAES focuses on self-love, as research has shown that what motivates people to change behaviors, thus improving health, are not approaches infused with shame but rather approaches encouraging self-acceptance and health behaviors as a form of self-care. Even more so, evidence has shown that HAES is associated with statistically and clinically relevant improvements in physiological measures, health behaviors and psychosocial outcomes. No studies have found adverse changes in any variables with a HAES approach.

Apple

Pear

Hourglass courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Weight and body type are not necessarily linked to health.

An early focus on racial education in Oklahoma would help prevent situations like those at OSU. Michaela Flonard News Editor Recently, two incidents of blackface on social media have occurred at OSU. One occurred on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, in some bizarre celebration for having the day off, while the other, posted to Snapchat, featured a girl in blackface with the caption “when he says he only likes black girls.”

The girl from the second incident, Kandice Burgess, posted an apology on Facebook later. saying ““I am deeply sorry for those that I have offended,” Burgess wrote.

“My intentions were not at all to be racist.

For anyone who knows me, you know I am not racist.” She continued, saying it was “a careless act without any consideration of others ... With all of my heart, I am sorry.

There was no part of me that aimed to hurt or offend anyone.” The OSU president, Burns Hargis, said that the school was working with these students to help them understand the consequences of their actions.

This article, however, could’ve been written at any point. Every year, it seems, someone posts something with blackface on social media. They then go on to say it was either careless or that they didn’t mean any offense. And, of course, they end with saying they’re not racists. Even Snapchat did it, offering a filter in April 2016 that altered faces to look like Bob Marley, complete with black skin.

It seems that somehow people haven’t gotten the message that blackface isn’t okay. Let me repeat that for you: Blackface.

Isn’t. Okay. The practice originated from non-black performers imitating blacks in performances and helped to spread racist stereotypes. The imitation caricatured black features, and eventually black people took up the practice as well, so they could perform in some way to white audiences.

But apparently, it seems, people are ignorant of that history and also totally oblivious to the blackface scandals that have happened in the past. The girl who posted the Snapchat video said “I am being honest when I say that until this, occurrence, I have never heard of ‘blackface;’ that was not even the slightest what I was trying to say.” Not to doubt her claim, but the only

way to have been ignorant to this issue is to have not paid attention to history class and news reports.

The only way to prevent this happening again is education. But when? Education has been tried — every year I seem to see posters declaring that it’s not cool to dress up as someone else’s ethnicity as a joke. To really change things, we need to educate people while they’re young. A friend of mine from a small town tried to explain the situation, saying that growing up in an all-white town, with the school teaching what they did, she wasn’t surprised that another person posted a photo in blackface. You can’t force diversity of people into those towns, but you can force diversity in education. Primary school would be the best place to do so, as those are the “formative years” of your life. Instead of teaching every small battle in the Revolutionary War, you can begin moving towards educating past the myopic view that focuses generally on white people, especially men.

You don’t have to spend a week arguing about reparations, but discussing some of these topics would be helpful, so that these sort of incidents don’t occur.

For some towns, this will be difficult, if near impossible, to change. Colleges could take up the slack, but many already try to achieve this during orientation. Some of these programs have even earned ire for going overboard and being too “politically correct” for some people. Most programs probably don’t mention blackface, just because people don’t consider it necessary to do so, but they could start. Even if they don’t have the time to explain the history, a brief mentioning of how offensive it is could potentially decrease some of these incidents.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Blackface began as a performance technique plagued by racial insensitivity.

Variety

30 January 2017

The Collegian: 13

The Flaming Lips are back in a pseudo-return-to-style

photo courtesy Wikipedia

The Flaming Lips’ newest album faces the age-old musician’s dilemma: to change or stay the same.

2013’s “The Terror” saw a marked departure from style for the Lips, a decision they make steps to rectify in their newest release, “Oczy Mlody.”

Ethan Veenker Student Writer Formed in 1983 in Oklahoma City, The Flaming Lips are a prime example of “diverse discography,” with releases ranging from the psychedelic pop masterpiece “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots” to the dreary and overwhelmingly heavy “The Terror.”

Theirs is a rather large collection of albums, which can be briefly discussed starting at their sixth studio album “Transmissions From the Satellite Heart,” where The Flaming Lips experienced their first hit, “She Don’t Use Jelly.” From there came the underappreciated “Clouds Taste Metallic” and what may be my favorite musical experiment: “Zaireeka,” an album with four different versions that can be enjoyed separately or, as was intended, played simultaneously for an entirely unique musical experience.

Following this came the Lips’ two most acclaimed albums, “The Soft Bulletin” and the aforementioned “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots.” These two albums form a strong basis for just what psychedelic and dream pop aspires to be. I’m not one to arbitrarily assign “golden eras” to artists of any form, but were I forced to for the Lips it would definitely be 1999-2002.

The three most permanent members of the band consist of eccentric frontman Wayne Coyne, bassist Michael Ivins and guitarist/ drummer Steven Drozd. Coyne’s personality bleeds into his music to such an extent that one can purport 2013’s “The Terror” to be a reflection of his mid-life crisis and the ensuing depression.

“The Terror” seemed to be a permanent

end to the fun-loving Lips that we knew, replacing the giddy descriptions of fighting large pink robots with enveloping environments of dark ambience. Besides an ill-fated cover album of The Beatles’ beloved “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” the following year and an EP recorded for the film “Ender’s Game,” the Lips have been relatively quiet for the past four years. Their newest effort, released on the tail of the new year, is an interesting combination of style with great ambition but somewhat poor execution.

“Oczy Mlody,” the 14th studio album by The Flaming Lips, is a confounding nearhour-long beast. Its title, and some of the track titles, are Polish phrases that Coyne came upon in a novel he lad lying around in his studio. The phrase “oczy mlody” specifically means “eyes of the young” according to Coyne, but he alludes to the band’s affini-

far more refined sound and direction.

We’re led into the 12-song album with a regrettably uninteresting instrumental track simply titled “Oczy Mlody.” It’s short and spacy, alluding to a particular musical theme for the rest of the record, but is rather uninteresting and, frankly, a little vanilla for the eccentricities we’re used to hearing from the Lips. Then again, it’s just an intro. The second track, “How??,” is what may be more accurately described as a first song. Even though it was chosen as a single, “How??” can best be described as a gradual, uneventful hike up a mountain. The whole song feels like a buildup to something epic, but by the end of the second verse things are just loud and claustrophobic. There’s a brief point where we can see the peak of the mountain and a drum beat kicks in a poppier direction for the previously ambience-absorbed song, but this lasts for only a few measures. The track ends before we reach the peak.

The next song, “There Should Be Unicorns,” feels like what “How??” should have been. The track ebbs and flows up and down in a satisfying manner, rather than an exhausting, no-payout uphill march. Its glitchy ambience and oscillating lead-synth strike that perfect balance between the two prominent Lips eras, and Coyne’s absurd vocal content and performance are just great. A weird sort of monologue repeating many of the track’s lines leads out of it, providing a moment of lovable weirdness from the Lips.

This song, I believe, struck the best balance of the two eras. The rest of the album either leans to the “Yoshimi” side of the spectrum or the “Terror” side.

That being said, there’s relatively few “Yoshimi”-esque tracks on the album. “Nigdy Nie (Never No)” is an undeniable downtempo continuation of some “Terror”-esque sounds, but the epic blasts of noise and fuzzy guitar bring the track home, reminding the listener of the instrumental tracks from “Yoshimi.” There is then the mouthful of a track, “One Night While Hunting for Faeries and Witches and Wizards to Kill.”

Roughly at the halfway point of the record, the track utilizes the most percussion yet. It keeps a smooth groove alongside the dormant blasts of noise that I would liken to a hammer being slammed on a metal sheet.

“The album habitually suffers from this flaw... the

band was afraid to provide too much payoff to the songs that ultimately felt like giant buildups.”

ty with the phrase stemming from a connection to the narcotic painkiller “oxycodone.”

The new record has been hailed as a return to the “Yoshimi”-era sound for the Lips, but this is just simply not the case.

“Oczy Mlody” performs its duty admirably as far as progressing the band’s sound and helping it to evolve. It can most simply be described as having some elements of the playful psychedelic pop era mixed in with some ambient layers straight from “The Terror.” Such a combination can be observed in its proto-form with the previously mentioned EP for “Ender’s Game” (titled “Peace Sword”), but “Oczy Mlody” arrives with a

The song goes on to add a bass and synthesizer and becomes the most head-bobby track on the album. It manages to stray from the pitfalls that so many of the other tracks ran into: it keeps the good moments long.

“How??” had a good moment that was over in literal seconds, “good moment” meaning a sort of climax, a point of musical bliss that the otherwise ambient track seemed to be leading into. “Galaxy I Sink,” which started out sounding like an early Grizzly Bear track, climaxed into an elegant orchestral piece that was, again, over in seconds. This exact thing occurred again on “Listening to the Frogs With Demon Eyes.”

The “Terror”-esque tracks, in an attempt to

ride the gap between the two sounds they’re attempting to combine, keep their climactic moments regrettably short.

The album habitually suffers from this flaw; it feels almost like the band was afraid to provide too much payoff to the songs that ultimately felt like giant buildups. There are a few tracks which bridge the sounds admirably, like “One Night While …,” “The Castle” and “Almost Home (Blisko Domu).” These tracks and a couple others combine the electronic with the physical in ways that one might not even explicitly notice at first, but the realization is a pleasant one. The drum machine and bass guitar combo, for example, goes together better than you’d initially expect. For most of the album, however, the ambient side is lent far more weight. This wouldn’t be an inherently bad thing if said ambient side didn’t always sound like a buildup to a nonexistent climax.

With the vast length of the record and its many identical moments, we should finish our discussion of it with “We a Famly,” the closing track that features Miley Cyrus. Everyone remembers when Cyrus changed her public look entirely, dropping the sweet Disney-kid shtick and becoming a performer all her own, in whatever vulgar manner she desired. Around that time she fell in with Wayne Coyne and, after they provided some musical contribution on her “Dead Petz” record, she’s come to provide an absolutely dreadful second verse on “We a Famly”.

And yet, even despite her ear-grating feature, “We a Famly” happens to be one of my favorite tracks on the record. I’m biased with my affinity for the “Yoshimi”-era Lips, a theme that is most heavily represented in this track, but the residual ambience from “The Terror” is still ever-present. The song dignifies itself as the most shamelessly happy piece of music we’ve heard from The Flaming Lips in a long, long time. It’s a great closer to the album and (even after Cyrus’ performance) leaves a smile on my face with its absurd giddiness.

“Oczy Mlody” is not a triumphant return-to-style in the traditional sense. It’s a flawed combination of two distinct Lips eras into a sound that works decently well in its own right, if not just for one album.

I hope to see the Lips change it up more in releases to come. The scorned fan out there may ask, however, if we’ll ever get the “old Lips” back. I’d quote Wayne Coyne on the album’s 10th track, “The Castle,” when he sings “And the castle can never be rebuilt again, no way.” Coyne revealed in an interview that the line refers to the suicide of a close friend of his, but before I knew this I interpreted it as a reference to the “old Lips”. Bands evolve. If they didn’t, we’d get tired of hearing the same stuff over and over (I’m looking at you, Weezer). The Flaming Lips may never return to the sound they had with “Yoshimi,” and that’s okay. That album will always be there for you to listen to. I don’t think fans of that era would even want an album that sounds identical to it. We as listeners simultaneously crave for bands to evolve and remain the same, a habit we might need to break if we’re tired of hating every new piece of music.

Chinese Student Association rings in the Lunar New Year Last Saturday, countries around the world celebrated the beginning of the lunar calendar’s new year. In China, January 28 marked the beginning of the year of the rooster. The Chinese Student Association hosted dinner, performances and games in the Student Union. The food was from Gigi’s Kitchen and Royal China Buffet, and prizes for the games included Chinese lucky red knots and bookmarks. Attendees wrote their wishes for the new year on red pieces of paper, and hung them with ribbons from a makeshift veranda. Performers danced, sang and beatboxed to celebrate the new year.

One game involved throwing bean bags at stuffed animals to try to knock them over. If you knocked one off the table, it was yours!

photos by Tianqi Fang

A number of TU students attended the event to partake in free food and watch the performances.

A pile of student wishes, many of which included hope for a 4.0 GPA.

The Collegian: 14

Variety

30 January 2017

Cirque Du Soleil’s “Ovo” makes insects acrobatic

Besides their talented performers, Cirque Du Soleil has long been credited with impressive setpieces.

Cirque Du Soleil brings their uniquely acrobatic and stylistic storytelling through Tulsa for their newest production, “Ovo.” Kayleigh Thesenvitz Social Media Manager Ovo is Portuguese for Egg. It is also the name of Cirque Du Soleil’s latest show, which I saw from the floor of the BOK Center last Thursday night.

Until Thursday, the most intense acrobatic feat I had witnessed with my own eyes was a woman walking a tightrope. By 10pm my mind was blown; I had an entirely new appreciation for the incredibly strenuous activities the human body can endure.

Cirque Du Soleil is a world-traveling circus troupe that originated in Quebec. The company mixes classical circus arts like acrobatics with live theater and all the colorful costumes and original music found in folk

street performances.

The stunts, impressive as they were, weren’t the only thing the show had going for it. “Ovo” is a story heavily influenced

by Brazilian culture. The use of insects as the subject allowed for bright and colorful scenes while the impressive live music combined native Brazilian and classical French styles.

The musical director Berna Ceppas wrote, “In my country we have one of the biggest biodiversities on the planet, tons of insects! And the same happens with our music, ‘cause we have so many music styles in a single culture, tons of music!”

The singer and musicians also played a visual role in the performance dressed as cockroaches in warm golden brown fabrics.

The show begins as a colony of insects awakens on a day like any other. On this day, a fly aptly called “Foreigner” trudges into town with an egg strapped to his back.

The bugs gather around, all in awe of his egg, but he is distracted by a beautiful lady-

photo courtesy CirqueDuSoleil.com

bug. In interluding scenes Foreigner spends the rest of the performance chasing after her, hoping to win her affection.

Aside from the main plot, which played out much like a regular theatrical performance, there were several acrobating scenes that highlighted the individuality of the other bugs in society.

As part of the opening act, a dragonfly hand-balanced on ivy-like metal beams that rotated in the air above the stage.

The scene for the ants came next, featuring 6 Chinese acrobats foot juggling kiwi, baby corn and each other. They juggled the fruit perfectly in sync with each other and the music even at moments when it seemed impossible. At one point, three ants laying on kiwi platforms impressively juggled two other ants between them, who in turn were juggling kiwi.

Suspended up in the air at the start of the next song was a figure cocooned in two long, flowy, beige strips of fabric that hung from the ceiling. After an elegant struggle

photo courtesy CirqueDuSoleil.com

to emerge, the dancer transformed the straps into flowing butterfly wings and gracefully fluttered down to earth. As she exited the stage, one of the three female spiders came on and performed some aerial stunts on a metal ring suspended above the stage.

A brightly dressed firefly performed highspeed diabolo tricks, juggling three spools at once. The beat that played behind him added intensity to his actions, and the background art displayed on the back wall was reminiscent of an old Owl City song.

Other acts included an acro duo of fleas, a back-breakingly talented spider contortionist and a posse of beetles who performed a stunning Russian cradle.

My favorite act by far was “Super Hero,” performed by “Spiderman,” on the slack wire. The costume beared no resemblance to the Daily Bugle photographer, and to be honest, no amount of CGI could have made Tobey Maguire half as cool. Spiderman walked, somersaulted, did a handstand and even unicycled upside down across a thin wire hovering limply above the stage. He managed to maintain that balance even as the rope swayed back and forth, at one point positioning him in a 45 degree angle from the floor.

Just before the closing scene, an orchestra of crickets set up their trampolines for fearless flights athwart the stage. Several jumped from the high wall that formed the upstage barrier and used the momentum to carry themselves back up to where they started.

A spider climbed along the wall throughout the performance as if waiting for a cricket to misstep in time for her next meal. The sheer height these performers were able to capture while also making carefully choreographed movements, landing easily on spots along the wall, was spectacular to behold and made for a great acrobatic finale.

The final scene was a happy ending for both the buggish citizens and the foreigner.

Each bug had their opportunity to shine, as did a few unsuspecting audience members that were dragged onstage to incur jealousy between the jaded leads, The insects were all able to feast together on the egg, and the fly finally caught his ladylove.

Until Thursday I hadn’t really considered the circus as a modern form of entertainment. It seemed a relic of the 20th century.

Now, however, I can’t wait to go again!

photo by Kayleigh Thesenvitz

Cirque Du Soleil’s stories are told through visuals, music and movement; they rarely rely on spoken word.

Poor production hampers “Footprints in the Dew”

While it had the potential to convey an interesting local whodunit, “Footprints” serves to do little more than frustrate viewers and promote the book it’s based on.

James Whisenhunt Commentary Editor

On September 26, 1970, E.C. Mullendore was murdered at his home in Osage County, Oklahoma. Mullendore, in charge of one of the largest ranches in the United States at the time, was 32 at the time of his death.

His murder lead to the largest life insurance payout in American history: $15,000,000 (or $43,690,594 after inflation adjustment).

The most important facet of Mullendore’s murder is that, for 40 years, there was never a charge or prosecution. The case stayed open and people were working for decades to figure out who killed him. The main suspect was an employee of Mullendore’s and the only person known to be with him on the night of the murder, Damon “Chub” Anderson, who refused to speak to authorities or take a polygraph test.

This is where Dale Lewis, an Oklahomaborn journalist and column writer for the Stephens Media Group, comes in. Over the course of months, Lewis spoke with Anderson to get his full life story and see how the Mullendore situation affected him, as well as revealing the truth of Mullendore’s murder. Lewis also interviewed private investigators, police officers and friends of Anderson to gain other perspectives on his life.

Lewis’ book “Footprints in the Dew” was published in 2015, years after Anderson’s death in 2010.

The tapes of interviews Lewis conducted during the writing process were cut together

Mullendore Ranch, once one of the largest ranches in the US, is today infamous for the crime perpetrated there.

into a movie of the same title, which had two screenings at Circle Cinema last Saturday. The afternoon screening featured a Q&A with Lewis after the film.

The film itself covered much of what I described above: the murder, Chub’s life afterwards and a conclusion on what actually happened to Mullendore.

Unfortunately, despite the interesting premise and the local angle, the production of the film was sorely lacking. The film was mostly static shots of interviewees speaking, which would be fine if the video and audio quality had been anything close to what one would expect from an average documentary.

Almost all of the interviewees looked pixelated, especially when zoomed in, and some still frames of evidence or newspaper clippings weren’t even legible because of the poor quality of the images. Perhaps making the film fit the size of the screen at Circle Cinema was part of the problem, but

it was constant and severely detracted from the experience.

The film’s audio wasn’t much better.

White noise was much louder in some interviews than others, but it was always there.

Combine the white noise with a classic Oklahoma mumble and the result was that some interviewees were incredibly difficult to understand, and the filmmakers would only sometimes use subtitles when I felt like they would have been warranted. Sound would also cut from one side of the speakers in the theater to the other as there would be cuts to different sections of the interview, which was simply the icing on top of what felt like an incredibly rushed and zero-budget production.

The film lasted about 60 minutes (though Lewis mentioned that the first draft was around 3 hours), and seemed to lack quite a bit of information found in the book. At least half of the questions in the Q&A were

photo courtesy Wikipedia

asking details about characters or what happened to someone after what was covered in the film, and Lewis would either give an answer if the question was fairly simple or mention that that information is covered in the book and give them a taste of what the answer would be. Lewis also alluded to a production deal in the works to turn Anderson’s story into a “real movie,” with Val Kilmer potentially playing Anderson.

This Q&A and the vague answers given put into perspective how incomplete a picture the movie really is. It gives the broad strokes of the story and a fairly solid timeline of events, but it feels weighed down by its poor production and anyone truly interested in the Mullendore murder should buy the book. For people not particularly interested in the case, seeing this movie isn’t going to convince you to care.

30 January 2017

Variety

The Collegian: 15

TU’s Theatre Department channels Shakespeare for a dystopic retelling of “Julius Caesar”

The University of Tulsa’s student theatre hits the road to perform a stylized retelling of Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar.”

Hannah Kloppenburg Editor-in-Chief

TU theatre’s recent production of “Julius Caesar” had everything you would least expect from Shakespeare: a future dystopian America, 14 cast members (rather than the usual ~40) and a script cut down from three hours to one.

Before Tuesday night’s show began, director Laura Skoch explained that the production had been modified in several ways to be performed at regional high schools: a flexible scenery, modern setting, smaller cast and edited script.

TU’s “Julius Caesar,” is going on tour.

There was a single free performance at Kendall Hall’s Chapman Theatre last Tuesday.

From January 26-27, TU Theatre took the performance to four Kansas and Missouri high schools. From April 6-7 they will travel again, bringing the show to four Texas high schools.

Adapting a three-hour-long play to a onehour performance has its challenges. Sophomore James Terrell (Casca, Messala, Citizen) said that characters had to be removed, modified and combined. “Cinna the Poet, Brutus’s wife Portia, and some of the other conspirators were either merged or taken out entirely,” he explained. “The challenge [was] to make the story as crystal clear and full of truth as possible. The skeleton of the story remains.”

For me, this made the production difficult to follow at times, as actors moved in and out of the story and adopted multiple roles, often fading back into the sidelines as a “Citizen.” Terrell is right, however, that the skeleton of the story remained.

The play’s dystopian setting was in part a function of the tour. “Originally, we were going to set it up as a more modern-esque adaption. Costuming-wise this would make traveling easier,” Terrell said.

Though the modern setting seemed strange and a little over-the-top to me at first, I warmed up to it as the show went on and I realized how well it fit with the themes of the play.

“As the show developed, there was more of an interest in this near future dystopian idea,” Terrell said. “With the election swirling around during the rehearsal process, more and more of that element played into our production,” he continued.

I definitely recognized the political

courtesy University of Tulsa Theatre Department

The play’s organizers made Caesar’s dark political themes more timely with a change in setting.

themes and comparisons as the show went on and thought they were very fitting. Julius Caesar, after all, is a play rife with political drama. Much of the costume and set design incorporated red and blue contrasts — for example, all of the politicians wore blue capes before Caesar’s murder. After the murder, the conspirators reversed their capes to show that the opposite side was red. A high-stakes election is a major part of the play, and was exemplified during the show with a red-and-blue political map that showed incoming votes as stressed Roman politicians paced frantically around the stage.

The setting was mostly conveyed through a series of projected backdrops featuring images of American monuments, photoshopped so that they were surrounded by storm clouds and swaying trees — scenery that definitely set the mood of a dystopian

American landscape. This scenery was occasionally replaced by a social media-esque news screen. Members of the chorus (Austen Naron and Emma Lucas,) switched up their traditional role by becoming reporters who were filmed and projected onto the news screen in real time — a tactic which was executed with grace and effectively defined their role within the story.

The show’s sparse scenery lent itself well to the flexibility needed to perform at high schools. The stage was filled only with a few chairs and blocks made of clear plastic which the actors used to sit in, jump upon, hide behind and stand upon for the purpose of making glorious political speeches.

The actors adapted extremely well to the lack of props and elaborate scenery. I was particularly impressed by a scene that took place during a vicious storm. Those who weren’t active in the scene used instruments

and tapped on the backs of chairs to make the sounds of rain and distant wind, resulting in an eerily authentic soundtrack for the scene.

According to Terrell, the cast also had to adapt their blocking to the possibility that the eight high school stages they were to perform on could be completely different.

“The director wanted the show to work both in a huge performance space all the way down to a classroom. With that in mind, the cast stayed on stage at all times and there would be certain moments where an actor would turn away from the scene happening in the center so they could then walk on, refreshed and new,” he said.

Overall, TU Theatre adapted “Julius Caesar” into a production that serves its purpose well. It wasn’t without its shortcomings — for instance, though Jacob Patterson made for an impressive and imposing Caesar, there was very little development for the titular character. This may have very well been an effect of the shortened script, or possibly intentional in order to emphasize the other characters’ perceptions of Caesar. Like I mentioned before, the overlap in character assignments and the fact that the actors never left the stage made the show difficult to follow at times.

However, the show’s strengths outweighed its shortcomings. The setting lent itself very well to the themes of the play and current themes in American politics. I can’t name an actor who didn’t give an impressive performance of professional quality, and Mia Graham was particularly stunning as Brutus.

Terrell’s character, Casca, was the one to perform the fatal act and stab Caesar (arguably the most exciting scene in the play, and very well done). “It was a type of character I’ve never performed with before, and it absolutely stretched me both as an actor and as a person,” he said. “Both of my characters, Casca and Messala, served as movers of the story. They have moments where they know something that someone does not, and it’s their job to get that across to whoever is important at the moment, usually Brutus.”

I go to Shakespeare in the Park in St. Louis almost every year, and the TU production reminded me a lot of the 20-minute Green Show they usually have before the three-hour play. It’s like Shakespeare Lite — the most meaningful parts of the show compressed into a shorter production that’s friendly to a variety of audiences.

TU Theatre accomplished this gracefully. Congrats to the cast and crew on a successful adaptation of a timeless classic, and props to them for bringing the arts to regional high schools.

Pianist Krisztina Wajsza brings classical to campus Esteemed pianist Krisztina Wajsza played a slew of classical pieces for listeners in the Lorton Performance Center last Thursday.

Matt Magerkurth Student Writer Tuesday evening, Feagin Visiting Artist Krisztina Wajsza regaled an enthusiastic audience in Lorton Performance Center’s Gussman Hall with a virtuosic solo piano performance to kickstart her weeklong residency in Tulsa. Audiences familiar with the classical genre will know that solo piano performances have a capacity for a particularly large range of delicacy and power, and the Swiss Wajsza delivered a packed program to show off her intense ability.

The evening began, as many do, with Mozart – Sonata in c minor, KV 457, written in Vienna in 1784, seven years before the composer’s untimely death. Mozart tends to stay fervently attached to the classical forms in his music, so performers often opt to begin the program with etiquette and precision before launching into the juicy stuff. Wajsza’s performance delighted, particularly her effortless performance of the luscious second movement.

Next on the docket was Robert Schumann’s “Waldszenen,” or “Forest Scenes,” a collection of 9 short pieces played in quick succession. These are called “character pieces” – each one is a self-contained entity that takes its place amongst the others in service to the longer musical line.

This is an interesting piece from Schumann, who rallied against program music: music that requires extra musical input for effect.

EHowever, each of the movements carries a title like “Jäger auf der Lauer (Hunters on the Lookout)” and “Herberge (Wayside

Inn).” Listening to the piece felt almost like watching a Disney animation, with Wajsza the nostalgic narrator, even with the piece’s apparent lack of conceptual story. In the final movement, “Abschied (Farewell),” this charmed piece gently calls the listener out of the forest and back into life, wistfully remembering its own experiences.

After the intermission, the concert resumed with another case of character pieces, but this time, with the dramatic flair and colorful language of Maurice Ravel’s “Walzes nobles et sentimentales.” The piece is comprised of eight short pieces, all united by the waltz format, and inspired by the Viennese Franz Schubert’s set of piano waltzes. Ravel was a master pianist and orchestrator, so his works often bounce between extreme bombast and gentle intimacy, which Wajsza accomplished beautifully. This is a case wherein technical accuracy is subservient to the overall effect of the piece, and while the pianist was occasionally imprecise, the audience roared with approval after the lush and delicate final movement.

Before the applause could even die down, Wajsza raced back to the piano and pounced on the beginning low piano rip of Franz Liszt’s “Wilde Jagd (The Wild Hunt),” one of his “Transcendental Etudes.” Liszt is well-regarded for his rich program music and faint-inducing virtuosity, and Wajsza delivered, projecting the soaring melodies over the grumbling bass in this fierce, adventurous romp. Wajsza was beckoned back to the stage for an encore, in which she played Alexander Scriabin’s “Nocturne for the Left Hand,” op. 9 as a final, impressive display of her technique and expression with only one hand. Well-known for his apocalyptic ambitions (he wrote an immense piece designed to end the world), this early work gently lulls the world to sleep, with only a hint of his internal fire and brimstone.

tucollegian@tucollegian.org editor-in-chief

Hannah Kloppenburg managing editor

Giselle Willis Cuauhtle news editor

Michaela Flonard sports editor

Matt Rechtien variety editor

Trenton Gibbons commentary editor

James Whisenhunt satire editor

Sam Chott photo & graphics editor

Elias Brinkman

business & advertising manager

Paul Moses

social media manager

Kayleigh Thesenvitz web manager

Sam Chott

distribution managers

Nathan Gibbons, Adam Lux and Trenton Gibbons

@TUCollegian

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Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opinions of the entire Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

The State-Run Media

30 January 2017

the

State-Run media Gerard Clancy should stick to presidency, doesn’t know about immigration. Sad!

Professor fucking kills it with latest PowerPoint

What should I say to a grieving friend?

So your friend just experienced a death of a family member or close friend. If you want to comfort them, but in a way that requires the least effort from you, the Void is here for you.

Adam Lux Lacks empathy We’ve all been there. You’re minding your own business, ignoring the feelings of uselessness and mortal fear, when out of the blue, your friend sends you a message informing you that one of their loved ones has died or gotten cancer or something else, completely ruining your perfectly good day.

How dare they.

Ugh. You want to just tell them to fuck off but social norms requires you to send them some type of “condolence.” What a pitiful world. You could send them a crying emoticon, but that might seem disingenuous. You wouldn’t want your friend to suspect that you don’t actually care. A classic “I’m here if you need to talk,” is usu-

ally good, but what if they actually try to talk to you? That would be dreadful, and absolutely the opposite of what you’re trying to accomplish here. You’re tempted to just send them a sad gif, that wouldn’t take much effort, however you’re afraid they might think that would be weird. This whole situation is just infuriating.

And for a second, just a second, you feel bad. You remember how you felt the last time something tragic happened in your life.

You remember how much you just wanted someone to be there for you. You remember how you wanted to just talk, not about anything in particular. You just needed noise to help you cope. You feel bad because you know that your friend is scared and confused and you have the capability to alleviate some of the stress they are feeling right now. It would be a small annoyance for you but a huge relief for them.

But you snap out of it. You were being overdramatic. Your friend will be fine. They need to learn how to deal with stuff like that anyway. You shoot them a quick “That sucks, man. I’m sorry,” and then go back to watching cat videos on the internet.

Dr. Jennings gestures to his 17 bullet points as they each bounce onto the screen.

A professor recently gave a PowerPoint presentation which he self-reported to be “masterful,” and “a transcendental experience.”

Sam Beckmann Definitely a real journalist, not just an angry student Dr. Jennings of the Chemical Engineering department is quite proud of his latest PowerPoint, students say. Intrigued by the fascination with this completely worthless tool for sharing informa-

tion, the State-Run Media decided to investigate.

The PowerPoint, which is a slight modification of the one provided with the textbook’s teaching materials, is 110 slides long and contains 13 unique typefaces.

“I wanted all the information students needed to know up there on the board, so whenever the PowerPoint didn’t cover something I wanted, I just copied paragraphs out of the book for the students to see. Wha-bam!” Jennings excitedly explained to a bored State-Run interviewer. The slide in question contained an impressive 237 words in 10 point font.

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

In addition to the added slides, Jennings also customized the existing presentation to “highlight what the kids should know.” These changes mostly consist of adding underlining and highlighting to random words of the presentation, and changing the color of all definitions to light grey so they’re impossible to read from a distance.

When asked what information the class would be tested over, Jennings responded, “Everything in the PowerPoint.” At press time, three hours before the test, the PowerPoint has not yet been uploaded to Harvey.

Attacks on masculinity finally succeed, America feminized

Thanks to our hard work, this image is now science fiction.

Finally, only six percent of people still trust the media

Efforts by the State-Run Media have paid off, and less than six percent of Americans actually trust “the media.”

Sam Beckmann Doesn’t trust 94 percent of Americans In a recent survey by the American Press Institute, only six percent of people have “a great deal of confidence” in the media. This continues a happy trend over the past ten years, as American trust in the media has steadily decreased.

At the State-Run Media, we take pride in every reader convinced this whole “News” thing is just a sham and the only real people to trust are politicians. There’s a fundamental conflict of interest if the people who tell you about what’s going on in the world are the ones who get paid to tell you. We’re incredibly pleased to see a more

critically-thinking and self-aware public reject the standard media narrative and instead believe whatever the hell they want.

A number of factors have led to this continued decrease in trust in the media, most of which is related to the recent presidential election.

Presidential elections represent an important time for those wishing to educate the public about the untrustworthiness of the media.

By publishing clearly biased, anecdotal and outright false stories, major news outlets upset with the media’s position have managed to lower public opinion of the media even more.

This may be an ambitious goal, but we at the State-Run Media believe if we all work together, our combined efforts could lower the number below five percent in 2017. Just imagine, we are probably less than a decade away from a time when no one will believe the news. Thoughts like these truly restore our faith in humanity.

If you find yourself less able to grow facial hair or open jars, blame the Women’s March.

After the Women’s March on Washington, masculinity is defeated, leaving the nation without manliness.

Adam Lux Former beard-haver

The day after the inauguration of our 45th President of the United States, a large group of women gathered to march in Washington D.C. and in cities across the US, including Tulsa.

While some people might claim that this march was for “equal rights” and to protest a president who has proven himself to be “misogynistic” the true purpose of this

protest was to attack masculinity, and it succeeded.

You read that correctly. Ever since the march all masculine activities have ceased. No one has chugged beer out of a can and then thrown the crumpled can out the window of the Ford Super Duty they’re driving. No one has been seen shirtless and covered in grease as they work on their 1972 Firebird. And no one has spent too time and money making a piece of furniture from scratch when they could have just bought the same piece from a store.

The battle is over and masculinity has lost. From now on men will be required to give equal weight to

courtesy Gratisography

the opinions and ideas of their female peers as they do to their male peers. Males will now be required to respect female authority figures with the same magnitude as they do their male authority figures.

And possibly worst of all, men will no longer receive more compensation than a woman for a certain type or amount of work. Clint Eastwood reportedly said “ It truly is a sad, sad day in history.”

So fellow men, grab yourselves an appletini, buy yourself a Porsche (but not a 911) and watch some Real Housewives because that’s just the way the world is now.

30 January 2017

The State-Run Media

Timeline of Campo militarization

courtesy Washington Post

As with many police forces across the country, TU’s Campus Security department has been buying military equipment to assist in law enforcement. State-Run investigative journalists have put together a summary of small steps that led to this militarized security force. w 2011 Student population receives influx of arms after library coffee shop begins selling handguns

Campo confiscates student’s biceps after he invites crush to “gun show”

A comprehensive list of ways to deal with Nazis courtesy Guido P

Can you spot the difference?

After actual Nazi Richard Spencer was punched by a protester, State-Run archivists went through some of our nation’s greatest cinematic treasures for advice on Nazis.

Sam Beckmann Wants to know if it’s cool to punch Nazi monkeys

The incidents involving Richard Spencer and a few rogue fists have left many people wondering if punching a Nazi is acceptable.

Well, have no fear and waste no

time debating this question further. As an avid Indiana Jones fan, I have compiled a comprehensive list of ways to deal with Nazis.

Running over a Nazi with a large truck carrying the Ark of the Covenant? You’re A-OK. Dropping someone into a pit full of snakes?

Mmm, probably not, that’s a Nazi move. Whatever you’re considering, just check the list to make sure you’re in the moral clear! After all, if a movie protagonist doesn’t get in any trouble for doing it, why should you?

1. Punching 2. Shooting 3. Hitting with a palm tree

4. Running over 5. Pushing off a large cliff 6. Slicing up with an airplane propeller 7. Lighting on fire 8. Witnessing their soul be ripped from their body through the power of the Ark 9. Punching 10. Watching them drink from a false cup of the last supper and age to oblivion 11. Blowing up their assault tank 12. Sticking a metal bar into their motorcycle spokes 13. Hitting with a large flagpole

2012

New Campo chief appointed, deputizes Goldie “just in case” Campo declares “War on Quiktrip” after one too many students don’t properly dispose of empty Peace Tea cans

2013

Campo requisitions sound cannons to clear up riot after Benvenuto’s closes early Bike with giant tires bought after Campo chief attended monster truck rally

Campo buys drone to see what’s on top of the library Another drone purchased after crashing first one

2014

Campo buys water cannon for annual Slip’n’Slide Barbeque

Campo buys body armor in anticipation of disproportionately Texan freshman class Student held without trial after spotted walking to class while not being white

2015 Campo invests in additional security cameras after seeing “Ocean’s Eleven” Campo finishes “Ocean’s” series, buys even more cameras

2016

Flashbang tossed to stop terrible student production of “The Crucible”

SWAT team breaches apartment of student who was playing “Hamilton” too loudly Campo purchases Stingray phone surveillance system to find TU confessions user who talked shit on them courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Quiz: Can you pull off that scarf? (Probably not) Trump defends size of If you wear a scarf correctly, you get to judge people for not wearing their scarves right.

2017

For generations people have wondered “Can I pull off this scarf?” and as long as I can remember I have been telling people what fashion trends they are unable to pull off. To save myself some time, I have created a quiz to enrich your life and make me feel better about myself.

This will no doubt answer all your desperate questions about accessorizing with scarves.

B) T-shirt and jeans, maybe a coat if it is chilly.

C) Something casual that suits me, yet still highlights my best qualities.

Question #3: Before the Twelfth Amendment was passed, how was the Vice President chosen?

A) The runner-up in the election would be made the Vice President B) Hasn’t it always been the same?

C) I don’t see what this has to do with scarves, are you even a fashion authority?

Mostly A: Calm down fashioni-

Conner Maggio sta, you can wear a scarf. You can Wears five scarves at once wear ten scarves if you want. As to assert his dominance long as you try your best to look Question #1: How much do you want to stand out?

A) I like to be excessive in everything I do.

B) I like to fit in.

C) I like to stand out a fair bit, nothing too far. Wouldn’t want to look too excessive.

Question #2: When you go out on the town what would you wear?

A) Whatever will make everyone stop and stare.

as gaudy as possible you can do whatever you want; that’s the spirit of fashion. It’s important to note that as long as people get so distracted that they fail to see your toxic personality and deep character flaws then you’ll be fine.

Mostly B: Don’t talk to me. I’m not trying to be mean, here, but try to stop yourself from being stupid for about two seconds so I can explain something to you. If you want to wear a scarf this quiz

is essential, you can never pass if you have answers like this. I believe that one day you may retake this quiz and get the right answers.

But for now, don’t look at me in public, we are not friends or even acquaintances. Until you can figure out how to wear a scarf we are sworn enemies. I didn’t subscribe to GQ magazine for twelve years to deal with the likes of you. See you in fashion court, you walking consignment store.

Mostly C: Your lack of respect and dignity for the human race has gone unpunished for too long. You don’t deserve this article, you don’t deserve fashion advice. Your reign of terror has created pain and misery, the likes of which the human race has never seen. You could perhaps pull off a nice navy scarf with white polka dots. Maybe try something that really emphasizes the bloodlust in your soul. I think if you work hard enough you could pull off a silk scarf, but it needs to be the statement piece of your outfit. If you crowd your outfit with too many unique things then you will just end up looking like you came out of a Johnny Depp movie.

You disgust me. I hope you choke on your fashionable scarf.

Drug raid on Alexander Health Center – Advil stashes seized

inauguration crowd

President Trump defends his claims that news sources have lied about his inauguration attendance, saying that he’s only following his own precendent of exaggerating sizes.

James Leahy Alternative journalist On Friday, January 20, President-elect Donald J. Trump was sworn into the oval office. The following day, President Trump issued tweets defending the size of his inauguration crowd. Press Secretary Sean Spicer followed up by claiming it was the largest inauguration crowd in US history, despite aerial photos and Washington’s mass transit ridership showing that Obama’s 2009 inauguration crowd was much larger.

Some concerned citizens have questioned whether more important issues such as healthcare, the budget, taxes, and global warm-

ing should have been addressed on Trump’s first full day as president.

Trump responded saying, “These are all important issues, apart from global warming. That’s a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. But a man has to be consistent, I’ve defended my size in the past, and I’ll be damned if I stop now.”

A day later Kellyanne Conway, counselor to President Trump, defended Sean Spicer’s claims in an NBC news interview with Chuck Todd by saying that he “gave alternative facts.” Chuck Todd responded “Alternative facts aren’t facts, they are falsehoods.”

Trump is reportedly shocked at Todd’s and the American people’s outrage at alternative facts. “I just don’t get why people are upset. I’m a consistent guy. I used alternative facts throughout my campaign.

Did people expect me to stop using them as president?” said Trump in utter confusion. When shown side by side photos of Obama’s 2009 inauguration and his, Donald Trump ended the interview, claiming he had to cheer up his hands with some alternative facts.

The Collegian: 18

30 January 2017

Housing selection starts in February.

Complete housing licenses to retain current space/ apartment or enter the lottery to select a new space: February 8-22, 2017.

Campus Housing Selection Timeline SUN

MONDAY

20

TUESDAY

21

5

22

THURSDAY

23

n Deadline to retain or enter lottery (11:59 p.m.)

F E B M A R C H

WEDNESDAY

FRIDAY

24

SAT

25

Housing selection lottery information is emailed to students.

n Roommate matches

must be completed n Theme house video applications due by 5 p.m.

27

28

1

2

3

4

6

7

8

9

10

11

9 a.m.- 4 p.m.

Law & Graduate, Seniors then Juniors

9 a.m.- 4 p.m.

Sophomores

9 a.m.- 4 p.m.

Mapworks Freshmen Freshman/ English Institute Students

9 a.m.- Noon First come, first serve.

3-5 p.m.

Theme House Selection for groups that have been accepted for 2017-2018.

9 a.m.-4 p.m.

Apartment Switcher Lottery 4-4:30 p.m.

Missed your selection — first come, first served

Stop by the Mayo SAC with any Housing or Dining Selection issue

4-4:30 p.m. Missed your selection? First come, first served

General Information Session There will be information booths in the Union Food Court and Pat Case Dining Center on Tuesday and Wednesday at noon from February 14-22. Please stop by and ask any questions.

Live Chat Available on Canelink Sunday through Thursday, February 12-22, chat live with a housing professional from 5 p.m.-10 p.m.

To start a live chat, click on the “Apply for Housing” link within Canelink and look for the tab at the bottom.

Priority Parking Each student who completes a license and makes a selection will qualify for priority parking registration.

Housing Office: 918-631-2516

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