5 February 2018 by The Collegian: Student Newspaper of the University of Tulsa

Student newspaper of the University of Tulsa

graphic by Madeline Woods

February 5, 2018 Issue 16 - Volume 103

5 February 2018

The Collegian: 2

Housing selection starts in February. Complete housing licenses to retain current space/ apartment or enter the lottery to select a new space: February 14-28, 2018

Campus Housing Selection Timeline SUN

MONDAY

TUESDAY

THURSDAY

n Deadline to retain or enter lottery (11:59 p.m.)

F E B

FRIDAY

SAT

Housing selection lottery information is emailed to students.

n Roommate matches

must be completed n Theme house video applications due by 5 p.m.

M A R C H 11

WEDNESDAY

9 a.m.- 4 p.m. Law & Graduate, Seniors then Juniors

9 a.m.- 4 p.m. Sophomores

9 a.m.- 4 p.m. Mapworks Freshmen Freshman/ English Institute Students

9 a.m.- Noon First come, first served.

9:00 a.m. Parking registration begins for retainers and their roommates.

9 a.m.-4 p.m. Apartment Switcher Lottery 4-4:30 p.m. Missed your selection? First come, first served

Stop by the Mayo SAC with any Housing or Dining Selection issue

4-4:30 p.m. Missed your selection? First come, first served

Connect with Housing There will be information booths in Pat Case Dining Center, February 14-15 from 12 p.m.-1 p.m. and the Student Union, February 21-22 from 12 p.m.-1 p.m.

Live Chat Available on Canelink Sunday through Thursday, February 14-28. Chat live with a housing professional from 5 p.m.-10 p.m. To start a live chat, click on the “Apply for Housing,” link within Canelink and look for the tab at the bottom.

Housing Office: 918-631-2516

canelink.utulsa.edu

Sports

5 February 2018

Tips for an effective workout

Whether you’re a novice or an expert, looking for maximum gains or maximum power, these small details can lead to big results! Thomas von Borstel Student Writer

This article is not aspiring to be your new Holy Bible of lifting, but what it lacks in divine inspiration, it will make up for in research-backed, result-based descriptions of minute changes you can make in your workout to maximize your athletic efficiency, power output and hypertrophy. 1. Warm-up! What better place to start than the warmup! It may seem apparent that one should warm-up before any athletic endeavor, but what that warm-up should look like is a bit more ambiguous. Firstly, one should avoid any static stretching before a workout. Research has revealed a loss of strength and power correlating with static stretching. Instead, practice dynamic movements before exercise, especially if working out in the mornings when body temperature is at its lowest. Quick-paced, calisthenic movements are the perfect warm-up. The key is to activate muscles that are left sedentary otherwise. Some great movements for warm-ups are lunges with an additional twist over the foreleg, short and quick vertical jumps, upper-body twists, push-ups, straight-legged high kicks, arm circles, and jumping jacks. These are just a few examples of incredibly simple activation movements. Additionally, you can get a little bit more bizarre with bear crawls, duck walks and inchworms. More than anything keep that body moving! Static stretching weakens performance during workouts. Dynamic movements activate the muscles and prevent injury for a fully optimized exercise session. 2. Timing! Everyone says working out in the morning is the ideal time: mostly for psychological, habit-creating reasons. Exercising in the early morning is “to start your day right” as one often hears. The term “night owl” is seemingly very popular with college students, and the term “lark” is not so much. The thought of waking up early is most likely a wretched one. What has been

found is that these terms, lark and owl, are scientifically backed. The circadian rhythm, our internal clock, has three stages during the day: the peak, the trough, and the recovery. For some, the peak, in which mental performance is highest, is the morning, and the recovery, a social, creative state, is in the evening; the former are the larks and the latter are the owls. The trough is almost always in the early afternoon. Most people are neither larks nor owls, falling somewhere in between the two. Instead of rising early or barely getting your lift in at 10:30 p.m., late afternoon is the perfect balance of mental awareness and physical performance. Your body is properly nourished, has rising trends of adrenalin, the body temperature is peaking, and pain tolerance is at its highest. So get your early afternoon nap in during your trough, hydrate well and then lift your socks off in the late afternoon for maximum performance! 3. Don’t Drop That Weight! You’re curling some big weight, looking like an absolute beast. Veins are popping. You’re working hard to get those bad boys up to your chin, and then you just let them drop after you’re done. “Why does it matter?” you say. “That’s the easy part of the set.” Not so fast! As everything does, these two parts of the set have scientific names: eccentric and concentric. The “easy” portion of the movement is called the eccentric contraction of the muscle; it is the lengthening, downward portion of the exercise. Its brother, the “hard” half, is called a concentric contraction. When you’re benchpressing upwards from your chest, this is the concentric movement. Generally speaking, the emphasis is almost entirely on the concentric portion of each exercise: the upward lifting of the weight in squats, in curls, the pushing in bench press, the pull upward in deadlifting. It is true that concentric movements alone double the hypertrophy per day of eccentric movements alone. This is all wonderful until one realizes that combining both concentric and eccentric movements, and placing equal emphasis on both in an exercise leads to double the hypertrophy of the other movements! This advice might not seem very practical yet, but “controlling” the weight on the downward portion of the movements allows for more muscle breakdown, which leads to more muscle growth. Controlling the weight means applying pressure and strength to downward motions, and not simply allowing the weight to fall before the big push or pull of a lift. So next time

you bench, try to slow down the time between arms being locked out and the bar touching the chest, to fully engage the eccentric portion of the exercise. This allows maximal and more efficient gains in power, strength and physique. 4. More intense, more rest! Whether training for hypertrophy or for strength, in order to perform like the best athletes, one has to train like them, and in most circles that means cranking up that intensity. Dr. Andy Galpin says that maximum power efficiency is found around 60 to 80 percent of an athlete’s one-rep-max.Most gym goers probably train around 30 percent of their maximum. So sacrifice a few reps, throw some extra weight on that bar, drop that pin lower, control that eccentric movement and explode out of that concentric movement. Additionally, for maximum power output, it is key to have sufficient rest intervals. two minutes is the professionally suggested time for compound lifts such as squat, bench, and deadlifts. On other accessory lifts, athletes can generally get away with a minute or so. For maximum intensity and hypertrophy, try adding a set at the end of each core lift going to failure. It has been research proven that adding a drop set where one drastically lowers weight and reps to failure induces more hypertrophy for maximum gains. 5. Cool Down! This is the simplest portion of exercising. After an intense workout, it is very beneficial to allow the heart rate to decline gradually. To do this is fairly simple. Walk a few laps around the track. Do a quick sun salutation. Yoga is one of the best cool down exercises. Not only because it enables flexibility, but because of its isometric strengthening properties. This is the time to do static stretching as well, which will reduce injury and increase performance in the long run. Just remember to do static stretching postworkout so your performance is not inhibited. Maximum gains are on the horizon. Go now and reap the fruits of your labors. The information used in this article was published by Dr. Andy Galpin on the Train Heroic blog, Dr. Brad Schoenfield, in a recent study entitled, “Can Drop Set Training Enhance Muscle Growth,” and a study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Science & Medicine in Sports entitled “Does pre-exercise static stretching inhibit maximal muscular performance?”

Hurricane Scoreboard Men’s Tennis Jan. 31: Texas A&M 7 - Tulsa 0 Feb. 2: Tulane 5 - Tulsa 2 Jan. 28: Tulsa 4 - Yale 3

Men’s Basketball Feb. 1: Tulsa 76 - SMU 67 Women’s Basketball Jan. 31: USF 71 - Tulsa 57 Feb. 3: Temple 76 - Tulsa 75

The Collegian: 3

Justin Guglielmetti is…

the

bleacher creature?

So long Lob City Has anybody checked on Clippers fans lately? Do we know if they’re doing alright? Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if they just ceased to exist altogether, either from jumping ship to the Lakers, quitting basketball altogether or spontaneously combusting from all the rage of decades of pent-up misery. Last week, the Clippers traded superstar forward Blake Griffin, the most important figure in their franchise’s history, to the Detroit Pistons. This after they signed Griffin to a mammoth five year, $173 million extension this summer in a move that many thought would ensure he would be a Los Angeles lifer. At the time, many pundits rightly panned the Clippers for making such an exorbitant offer given Griffin’s age (the contract will take him through his age-33 season), poor outside shooting ability and rapidly declining athleticism. Though still one of the league’s premier individual talents, he seemed like a player come along ten years too late, unable to adapt to the league’s new three-point-heavy style. What a present surprise then that Griffin actually managed to make some marked improvements to his game this season, hitting nearly two three pointers per game (an improvement over his previous career high of .6) and bumping his free throw shooting to just shy of 80 percent. Lack of highlight dunks aside, he actually looked like a player that could be the foundational piece of a competitive team in two or three years, given some promising young guys and a key free agent signing or two. Instead, the struggling Clips decided to blow things up and shipped the face of the organization to Detroit for peanuts, opting to rebuild rather than compete in a stacked Western conference. They got a decent young player in Tobias Harris and two more in Avery Bradley and Boban Marjanovic that they will hope to flip for picks, but the move still feels a long way from a sure thing. It could be the start of another long era in basketball purgatory - too talented for the lottery, not good enough to compete – for the Clippers. As for the Pistons, I like the move because they were already mired in purgatory. They gave up some depth and I don’t think anyone believes that Griffin will move them into the East’s top tier with Boston, Cleveland and Toronto. But a Griffin – Andre Drummond high-low combo is intriguing, and this team puts an end to its recent slide, they could be a hell of an imposing firstround matchup. Don’t cry over spilled milk Never has that cliche been more accurate than when describing the Kansas City Chiefs’ trade of Alex Smith. Is there a human being alive more akin to milk than Smith? Like a tall glass of two percent, he’s a dependable option that can definitely be valuable in the right situation. Need to manage the clock? Dunk an Oreo? He’s your man. But when you’re going all out and hosting a nice dinner party or competing for a Super Bowl, you don’t bring out milk. To all the Chiefs fans who have expressed consternation about this trade to me over the past week, please look at the bigger picture. Now you have the opportunity to bring out champagne. Let’s hear it for the champs Wow, what a game! I mean it was never in doubt even after they went down big, but good old Tom and Bill never fail to put on a show, do they? Again, I ain’t even worried about jinxing the team by calling my shot, black magic has got nothing on the power of God. Side note, did you know that the Lombardi Trophy was handcrafted this year in the small town of Cumberland, RI, which also happens to be 15 minutes from Gillette Stadium and is the humble abode of the Bleacher Creature himself? You can’t make this shit up.

Women’s Tennis Feb. 3: Tulsa 4 - Louisville 3

Feb. 5 - Feb. 11 Monday

Tuesday 5

Wednesday 6

No No Events Events

Thursday

Saturday

Friday 8

Men’s Women’s Basketball Basketball vs. SMU vs. Tulane 6 p.m. 7 p.m.

Softball vs. Virginia 1 p.m.

Softball @ McNeese St. 6 p.m.

10 Softball vs. Houston Baptist 12:30 p.m. Softball @ McNeese St. 5:30 p.m.

Men’s Tennis vs. Oklahoma 6 p.m.

Women’s Tennis @ Baylor

Track & Field @ Iowa St. Classic

Women’s Basketball vs. Houston 2 p.m.

Sunday 11

Softball vs. Houston Baptist 10 a.m.

Men’s Soccer vs. Tulsa Roughnecks 4 p.m.

Sports

The Collegian: 4

5 February 2018

Golden Hurricane outpaces the Mustangs

TU fell well short in their upset bid over Wichita St., but strong performances from Junior Etou and Corey Henderson fueled a big win over Southern Methodist to move the team into a tie for fourth place.

Martins Igbanu powers his way inside against SMU.

Junior Etou rises for an easy midrange jumper.

Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor After more than a week off, the Golden Hurricane traveled to Wichita St. for their second away game of the season against the Shockers. (What? I’m not still bitter about that all-yellow sellout crowd on January 13. Why do you ask?). Wichita St. had been struggling since barely escaping the Reynolds Center by the skin of their teeth, dropping games to unranked SMU and Houston and falling out of the top 10 rankings. But TU was unable to extend the Shockers’ slump. Shots were falling early for the Golden Hurricane, which jumped out to a quick 8-2 lead and held the advantage through the first ten minutes. Tulsa’s matchup zone never looked like much of a problem for Wichita St., whose snappy passing around the perimeter was able to generate plenty of open looks. Still had it not been for the freakish play of bench guard Austin Reaves, averaging fewer than seven points and 20 minutes entering the game, TU might have gone into the break with the advantage. As it were, Reaves was possessed by the spirit of Klay Thompson in this one, draining 7-11 threes. He wouldn’t score in the second half but still ended with a career-high 23 points. To Tulsa’s credit, they managed to hang tough in the second, twice trimming the deficit to just four points after Wichita St. extended their lead to 17 in the early going. Junior Etou and Corey Henderson continued to take and make big shots, the latter on his way to 28

points. The Shockers just played too well, moving the ball with purpose and feeding center Shaq Morris, who feasted from the high post and finished with 20 points in 21 minutes. When the buzzer sounded on their 9071 win, they had piled up 27 assists on just 32 made field goals, a staggering number for college basketball. Now below .500 in conference play, the Golden Hurricane returned home to take on the SMU Mustangs in the final test of their brutal mid-season stretch. It was a pitched battle in the early going, both teams going on long runs and neither able to gain much of an advantage. Playing without Shake Milton, their leading scorer, the Mustangs found plenty of firepower early on in Jahmal McMurray who knocked down five three pointers in the first half and led all scorers with 16 points. He didn’t get much help though, and TU dominated in points in the paint against SMU’s four guard lineup. Martins Igbanu led a balanced attack with six points, DaQuan Jeffries threw down a couple monster jams from Sterling Taplin, and Tulsa went into the half down just one. From there it was the Etou and Henderson show. The Golden Hurricane’s leading scorers put the team on their backs, exploiting mismatches and breaking down the Mustang defense on their way to netting to 17 and 18 points respectively. Fifteen of those came from Henderson, who put on yet another trademark three point shooting display where every contested 23

foot jumper makes you want to tear your hair out before it rattles in without touching the net. SMU did not go down quietly behind McMurray and Ben Emelogu II, who tallied a career-high 28 points on 10-18 shooting. But TU was ultimately able to secure the win and move into a tie with the Mustangs for fourth place in the conference, at 5-5. Igbanu and Jeffries also scored in double figures for the Golden Hurricane, as did Jaleel Wheeler, who lived at the free throw line (9-10 from the stripe) in a season-high 30 minutes. Etou also contributed a game-high 15 rebounds. Additional thoughts Though our chances at an NCAA tournament appearance are mostly caput (they were slim to begin with), TU now suddenly finds itself in shockingly good position to make a top four seed and earn a firstround bye in the American conference playoff. Tulsa is deadlocked with SMU, UCF and Memphis at 5-5 and has a favorable rest-of-season schedule. There are a few tests remaining, but the only game that looks unwinnable is Cincinnati; a 7-1 run to close the season is not out of the question. Meanwhile, Memphis still has Houston and Wichita St. on the docket, UCF has Wichita St. and Cincinnati and poor SMU has all three toughest opponents remaining (including two against the Cougars!) Yes, things are looking up.

Jaleel Wheeler finds a man in the corner.

photos by Dalton Stewart

5 February 2018

News

The Collegian: 5

TU gets ready to celebrate Black History Month

Programs will focus on addressing a wide range of topics related to black history and contemporary race-relations. Hannah Kloppenburg Web Manager

TU’s Association of Black Collegians has planned a month of programming for Black History Month. Junior Jenna Lazenby, president of ABC, explained that the programming is intended to address a variety of topics within the black community. “These events range from fun to serious, like the Black Lives Matter panel and then the ‘Black Panther’ movie,” Lazenby said. “Raising awareness for health within the black community is what we want to do with the fitness class. Which we kind of sink into the ground with the Soul Food Soiree, but that’s not the point. Everybody deserves comfort food every now and again,” she joked. Other events, like the Black Lives Matter panel, are intended to be informative and educational. Panel participants will talk “about what Black Lives Matter actually means, what the movement is trying to accomplish and kind of denouncing the criticisms and the fallacies that surround it,” Lazenby explained. “It’s more educating and not just saying, ‘You should support this because we tell you to. We want to have a broader spectrum of what it means to everybody.” The Expressions Talent Showcase will exhibit a broad spectrum of experiences across black culture, from Afro-Caribbean dance to African-American poetry and mu-

sic. The accompanying Kwanzaa dinner also has an educational component. “Most people think it’s an African holiday, but it’s not. It’s an African-American holiday,” Lazenby said. The Soul Food Soiree is the month’s food-based event. “It’s usually like southern comfort food, but things that are more specific to black culture,” Lazenby said. “So we usually have catfish, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, they have an assortment of greens, fried chicken … always the sweetest of sweet cornbreads. I don’t know how to explain how good the cornbread was last year. It was like somebody stuck a whole stick of butter in one little corner of it.” Lazenby explained that the Black History Month programming has other purposes as well. “We want to have a stronger foothold or a stronger presence on campus, but we also want to show that our campus is inclusive and that there are safe spaces on this campus for African-American students and other minority students,” she said.“You don’t have to be black or African-American or African to be in ABC. We’re open to everyone.” ABC’s goals are “to raise awareness on campus, to be open and inclusive, to show a side of black culture that’s not always portrayed in the media,” according to Lazenby. “Black Panther,” for example, is the first Marvel superhero movie to feature a predominantly black cast, so it was important to Lazenby and ABC that the movie and the topic of media representation be featured within the programming. “All of our events are to showcase the diversity within the community and to showcase what black culture is outside of rap music or negative portrayals on the news or social media sites,” she said.

A conversation with Business Dean Sullenberger Dean Gale Sullenberger has led the Collins College of Business since 1999. Alex Garoffolo Student Writer

“I didn’t set out to be a college professor; I just loved going to school,” Dean Gale Sullenberger jokes. He wasn’t wrong. With masters and doctoral degrees in industrial engineering from the University of OklahomaOU, he put in his hours inside the classroom. Early in college, Sullenberger spent time working in computing facilities in Norman, coding and programming for various projects. Eventually, the University of Arkansas invited him to help establish the school’s management information systems degree program. From there, he worked in several capacities at the school, including associate dean, dean and vice presidents of both finance and academic affairs. He was dean of the College of Business and Economics at Washington State University when he heard about the opening at TU. Sullenberger hails from Norman and his wife is a native Tulsan. Family ties played a role in bringing them back to the Sooner state. During his time at TU, Sullenberger has seen the Collins College undergo tremendous change. “We completely remodeled Helmerich Hall, added world class technology in our labs and put in an elevator,” he asserted. Under Sullenberger’s guidance, the college added the school of energy, complete with three degree programs. These include a bachelor’s degree in energy management and a master’s program in energy accounting. While he’s served as dean, the business school also added eleven endowed chairs and professorships. “All of our curriculum is developed and implemented by our faculty,” he stated. As for how long it takes a program to get from the drawing board to full implementation, “it routinely takes six months to a year for the process to complete from start to finish. The faculty are involved in decision making 100 percent of the way.” Sullenberger also worked internationally. The dean helped create business school partnerships in England, Wales, the Czech Republic, Germany, China and Japan at various points in his career.

While working at Bradley University, he also helped in the effort to create a business school at Samara State University in Samara, Russia. “I went about six or eight times in all. It was quite an interesting experience,” he recalledremembered. “Samara was a closed city during the Soviet Union. Russians could not leave, and foreigners were not allowed inside. Thus, when we first arrived after the collapse of the Soviet Union, it was quite a sight.”,” Sullenberger explained. Samara is famous for its role as an industrial center in the USSR. The city was one of the main hubs of the Soviet industrial complex, responsible for everything from manufacturing weapons to heavy industry projects. “A lot of schools [in America] wanted to help colleges in Russia immediately after the fall of the Soviet Union. Most went to Moscow or St. Petersburg, but Bradley University professors set something up with Samara, right on the Volga River,” Sullenberger said. “During my visits there, I got to stay in Nikita Khrushchev’’s dacha, which was a fascinating experience,” Sullenberger addedinformed. “Each visit lasted ten days to two weeks.” He also taught MBA classes on multiple air force bases in Europe. “It was a scary time, driving on the Autobahn. I had a 40horsepower Volkswagen beetle, and all these cars are speeding by me at over 100 [miles per hour].” He smiled. “But I survived.”. But, I survived,” he remembered, smiling. Sullenber’s future goals for the Collins College are simple: hire outstandinggood faculty while finding and admitting excellent students who want to help the community during their time here. Additionally, he aims to boost annual average enrollment in the business school from around 900 students to 1200, as well as and widen the array of companies that come to campus for business career fairs and interviews. A fun fact: he owns his own plane and flies regularly. Sullenberger earned his pilot’s license at age 27. “I love my job,” he concluded. “I feel like I have something to offer our students and our faculty, and that keeps me coming to work every day. If I had a conventional 9 to 5, I would have retired long ago.” Sullenberger is the Dean of Collins College of Business and a professor of computer information systems and operations management.

Lazenby also pointed out that the programming is intended to provide a sense of belonging for black students on a campus that is predominantly white. “I know for myself personally, I don’t always feel super included in everything. And that’s not even because people aren’t welcoming on this campus … it’s just real easy to lose yourself when you don’t see yourself in campus that often,” she explained. Outside of its February programming, ABC sponsors programming throughout the year and participates in many on-campus events. According to Lazenby, the organization holds Sunday Brunches, where members meet on Sundays right after church to go over their agenda, goals and discuss a “deep dive” hot topic. “We also have what we call ‘Woke Wednesdays,’ which are a time for us to get together and discuss important social things on campus or in the world,” Lazenby said. ABC also sends members to conferences, organizes annual participation in the MLK Day parade and hosted last year’s “Sippin’ Lemonade at the Table” event, which featured a talk on social themes in the music of Beyoncé and Solange Knowles. Lazenby says that the group hopes to sponsor a similar event featuring a different musician this year. The group usually also contributes a street painting with a social or political theme to the annual homecoming competition. Lazenby is enthused about the upcoming events, adding, “Black History Month as a concept needs to not be February. It needs to be every single month of the year, because black history is history.” Check out the list TO THE SIDE for a complete list of Black History Month events at TU, courtesy of the Association of Black Collegians.

Black History Month Events Feb. 1 – 10: Black history door decoration challenge Residents of residential halls are encouraged to decorate their doors with black figures, quotes or art. There will be a prize for the best door. Feb. 9: Fitness class Either a Zumazumba class or a fitness class to be taught by Dana Thomas. Feb. 15: “Black Panther” movie premiere at Cinemark A showing of the movie exclusive for TU students. Co-sponsored by ABC, SA and DiversiTU. Feb. 16 – 17: The Vagina Monologues Not technically a part of ABC’s Black History Month programming, but an ABC member is involved in the production, so the organization is endorsing it. Feb. 21: Black Lives Matter panel with TU Young Democrats The two organizations are partnering to host a panel in Meinig Hall (Lorton Performance Center) featuring student representatives and members of the Tulsa community. The panel is intended to be an informative look at the goals and history of the Black Lives Matter movement. Feb. 24: Soul Food Soiree This event will be held at the Pat Case Dining Center, and students can use a meal swipe to enter. Feb. 28: Expressions Talent Showcase A showcase open to participants from the TU community and from Tulsa and a whole. This event will feature art, music, dance, poetry and similar performances celebrating a wide range of black culture, from Afro-Hispanic to African-American. The showcase will be combined with a Kwanzaa dinner.

Dining Services moves towards sustainability

Food waste is an often-overlooked cause of pollution.

On-campus efforts to go green continue in ACAC and the cafeteria. Alex Garoffolo Student Writer

TU’s Dining Services began working hard to bring in bio-friendly, paper products in 2013. Since then, according to director Mike Neal, bio-friendly products have only become cheaper. “Wherever possible, all to-go containers and paperware on campus, including “Simply to Go,’ are recyclable, and in some cases, they are second- to fifthgeneration recycled products,” Neal said. This includes the coffee cups in the library coffee shop. They are made of 10 percent post-consumer recycled fiber. The coffee sleeves are made from 60 percent post-consumer recycled fiber and use approximately 45 percent less material than a second paper cup. Neal added, “All napkins used in our retail and resident dining venues are 30 – 60 percent post-consumer fiber.” TU’s dining facilities use the BioMass packaging system for foodservice. BioMass packaging is specifically designed with renewable sourcing, production and disposal in mind. All packaging made from these biofriendly sources is carbon neutral. This means, when burned, the carbon released is

courtesy Flickr

equal to what the plant absorbed from the atmosphere during growth. If composted, the carbon stays fixed in the compost, replenishing the soil. The Allen Chapman Student Union contains many blue recycling bins for students to put their food containers in when finished. Most items in which Student Union food is served are recyclable and biodegradable. An exception, however, is the Chick-fil-A Styrofoam cup. Bottles available in vending machines around campus and in the Student Union are either part of Coca-Cola or Pepsi’s plantbottle programs. Coke makes its bottles with PET plastic made from 30-percent plant-based materials. Pepsi uses PET plastic made entirely from plant-based materials, as of 2012. Both options are recyclable at any number of the blue recycling receptacles around campus. The Pat Case Dining Center scrapped its dining tray program several years ago to cut back on campus food waste and water usage. Many of TU’s buildings have bottlefilling stations attached to water fountains. Students can use these to avoid adding plastic to landfills. When finished with a bottle, a student can recycle it in any of the blue receptacles on campus. “The Collegian,” as all newspapers, is recyclable as well.

News

The Collegian: 6

Saving Strays One student’s story of rescuing a stray dog and finding it a loving home. Neb Esayas Student Writer On a seemingly normal Friday night, my weekend was changed completely. I had decided to spend time with some friends at the University of Tulsa Pi Kappa Alpha House (Pike). A few of my other friends elected to pass by QuikTrip before heading out. Around 10 p.m., I received a text message with a picture of a dog. The caption was, “oh nooo.” I didn’t understand the issue at hand, so I replied back, and after the exchange of a few text messages, I was told that the dog was a stray! I quickly left Pike and made my way to the Hardesty parking lot where the dog was curled up, afraid in the backseat of my friend’s car. Initially, I didn’t think it would be smart to touch the dog, as a stray may have fleas and other diseases. Nevertheless, I petted the dog through the car window. He just lay there and looked up at me. Slowly, I coaxed the dog out of the car and got him walking around. Ali, my friend, went inside to grab some food and water while I played with the dog. Though he was nervous, the nameless dog was starting to open up. We found a tennis ball and began to play fetch with him. By the time Ali came back, the dog was playing and running around. The dog paused and ran up to Ali as she emerged from the bottom of the hill. A yellow Cheerios box had caught his attention. He went crazy. That was his absolute favorite treat, and that is what we fed him with for the time being.

As the night progressed, I became much more relaxed and was sure that the dog would not bite me or harm me in anyway. Eventually, I decided I wanted to keep him, even though he may have an owner. As I sat there thinking how I could possibly make it work, I thought it would be a great idea to give him a name. Jokingly, he assumed the title of Lord Theodore IV, or Theo for short. Little did I know, that name would stick. As midnight approached, Ali decided that she was going to keep the dog for the night in the Mayo Village apartments. The next morning, I met Ali at Hardesty at the crack of dawn, or so it seemed. At 9 a.m., we took Theo to the ASPCA, much against my will. I was absolutely set on keeping the little dog. It was clear that he was well trained, and taken care of, yet I knew it was the responsible thing to try and see if he had an owner. Besides, if I ended up keeping him, I would feel so much less guilty. We arrived at the ASPCA at 9:50 a.m., and they opened at 10. We sat in the car, cherishing the 10 minutes that I thought would be our last together. He sat quietly, as if he knew that we would be giving him up. I was under the same impression. When the time came, we got to speak to the Vet, who said that he could not take the dog in since it hadn’t been seen by the Tulsa pound. We gladly left and went right back to campus. I took Theo for a stroll around campus, taking pride in the fact that I had a dog. It was special for me, especially since I never had a dog growing up. I went back to the Pike fraternity house. All of the members, relaxing on the fine Saturday, played with the dog. We threw the tennis ball around, and Theo was absolutely having the time of his life. He was loved by every single Pike there. There was even a motion to adopt the

TU students compete in game-design contest

courtesy Global Game Jam

5 February 2018

dog and give him a permanent home, but unfortunately, the bylaws prohibited this. As the day went on, more and more people played with the dog. Overnight, my life was consumed by taking care of this dog, even if all we had to feed him were Cheerios and salads. Later that afternoon, we took the dog to the Tulsa pound where we checked to see if he had a microchip in him. Interestingly enough, he did not. At this point, Ali and I realized we only had two options. We could either take him with us, or leave him at the pound, where he had an abysmal 66-percent chance of surviving. I decided that it would be absolutely irresponsible to leave him, and though I did not have a plan to take care of him, I took him back to campus. Later that afternoon, some friends and I decided to give him a bath. Graciously, a Pike offered us his bathtub to wash the pup. We used Dawn dish soap, as their commercials always depict rescuers using their products to wash ducklings that were stuck in oil. After his bath, Theo seemed to be absolutely ecstatic. His high energy and great behavior helped me find him a temporary home, in the apartment of another Pike, Brandon. Throughout the day, I begged people to adopt Theo, but it was to no avail. Later that night, I found myself at Walmart, where I decided it would be great to get the dog a bag of kibble. Not knowing how long I would have the dog for, I invested in a 16-pound bag of dog food. After I fed Theo with a satisfying meal, I took him to Brandon’s apartment, where he would spend the night. Interestingly, Theo was not happy being left alone, and he whined for some time as we were leaving the apartment. I went to my room and tried to sleep. I couldn’t. My mind was on the dog, hoping that he wouldn’t urinate in the apartment. After what seemed like forever, I fell asleep at 4:40 a.m., only to wake up at 9 to walk the dog. I grabbed the kibble and made my way

to the apartment. After feeding Theo, Brandon and I made our way to the Caf. A friend of Brandon’s sat down, and I asked him the same thing I asked 40 other people, “Are you looking for a dog to adopt?” His answer was no, but he gave me the number of a friend who might be interested. Not too long after, Bryson, a sophomore soccer player, arrived at Brandon’s with his girlfriend. They played with the dog and took him for a walk. He was interested in adopting the dog and told me he would text me later. As he promised, I received a text saying that he was keen on adopting Theo. Though I was relieved, a piece of me was disappointed that I couldn’t keep Theo anymore. Bryson and I agreed that he would pick the dog up later that afternoon. I spent as much time as I could with Theo. I took a large piece of meat and peanut butter from the Caf and went to Brandon’s apartment. As a goodbye treat, I fed Theo well. For dessert, Theo enjoyed four tablespoons of peanut butter. Shortly after, Bryson arrived, and kindly adopted Lord Theodore IV. TU Policy University regulations prohibit pets in all other University Housing. This includes but is not limited to dogs, cats, birds, snakes, lizards, hamsters, mice and other rodents. An automatic $100.00 fine plus cleaning costs or carpet replacement and/or student conduct action will accompany any violation of this policy. In addition, the cost of pest control treatments (averaging $75-125 per treatment) will be charged to individuals housing unauthorized pets. This includes pets that are just visiting. Repeat offenses may result in removal from housing under the terms of the housing license. The University of Tulsa™ offers a petfriendly option in West Park Apartments. Details can be found online.

A brief rundown on the government shutdown

In “Freaking Laser Beams,” players use mirrors to reflect light and solve puzzles.

National Parks were just some of the public assets affected by the shutdown.

TU game design and programming majors worked with other talented creators in the Global Game Jam.

The government shutdown was historic, inconvenient and avoidable.

Hannah Kloppenburg Web Manager Last weekend, TU students participated in a programming event that took place close to home but had global implications. January 26 – 28 marked the second annual Global Game Jam Tulsa, the first on TU campus. What’s a Game Jam? TU computer science and computer simulation and gaming major Alvaro Gudiswitz defined the event as similar to a jam session with musicians. “It’s the same concept...you get some artists, you get some coders, you get musicians, and then you just throw everybody together and try to make a game,” he explained. Global Game Jam is this concept, coordinated on a global scale. There were meetups all around the world last weekend. The Tulsa event was coordinated by Richard Mitchell and TU student Charles Geissen. The event took place in Tyrell Hall and was open to participants from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. throughout the weekend. Final presentations took place on Sunday in the Ellen G. Adelson Auditorium. “Worldwide, most of the venues were open 24 hours,” Gudiswitz explained. “We actually had a really good turnout from TU,” he added. Out of the 40 or so people who showed up, he estimated that half were TU students — a stark contrast from last year’s Game Jam, in which two TU students participated. Teams were given a soft deadline of 48 hours to create their own game, most of which were intended for PC. “Most of the teams end up using Unity, which is a basic

2D/3D engine. It’s just easy to use and very nice for programmers,” Gudiswitz said. One team, however, made a game based on physical playing cards — the only requirement is that the game fits a predetermined theme. Game Jams usually have a theme for designers. This year’s theme for Global Game Jam Tulsa was “Transmission.” Participants divided up by talent (programmers, artists, musicians, etc.) to break the ice and determine team composition. Teams were fairly fluid and many participants collaborated with multiple teams. Gudiswitz and fellow computer science and computer simulation and gaming major Aric Hasting were the two main programmers on a team that created “Freaking Laser Beams,” a seven-level game based on color theory. The player uses mirrors and prisms to transmit colored laser beams. Other projects included a game where the player is a zombie trying to transmit the virus to other humans. The zombie is blind and has to echolocate by saying, “Braaaaains.” “Throughout the whole night on the first, second, even third day, you just had people yelling, ‘BRAINS!’ right outside [the rooms in Tyrrell Hall],” Gudiswitz recalled. In another game, the player is trying to make a call to their grandma on her birthday without losing the cell signal and sending her a confusing message (if you mess up too badly, Grandma dies of shock). Gudiswitz likes Global Game Jam Tulsa because it offers a low-pressure creative environment. There’s often a competition and set winner in game jams, but “for this one, you’re just doing a Game Jam and that’s it. Have fun. Which is kinda nice because there’s no pressure. Just do your thing, have fun, and if you do well, awesome. If not, whatever.” He also added that the environment was open to those with little gaming or programming experience.

Neb Esayas Student Writer On January 20 at 12:00:01 a.m., the first government shutdown of 2018 was initiated. A disagreement over what to do regarding immigration in the Senate triggered the shutdown, which lasted three days. This is the second shutdown in approximately five years. The previous shutdown occurred under the Obama Administration and lasted from October 1 to October 17, 2013. During that time, nonessential government offices were temporarily shut down. Well over 750,000 federal employees were furloughed and 1.2 million were required to work, but without the certainty their wages would be paid, although traditionally they were eventually remunerated for their work. The shutdown of 2013 was the third-longest in US history. Due to the constitutional separation of powers, Congress has the sole authority to make decisions regarding the appropriation of government funds. As with many pieces of legislation, a bill, specifically the Appropriation Bill, must be initiated in the House of Representatives. Upon being ratified, the bill moves to the Senate floor where it must be voted upon before it moves to the White House, where the President must sign or veto the bill. What does a government shutdown mean? Congress has not reached an agreement on how to appropriate funds for the upcoming fiscal period. National parks, monuments and museums in Washington, D.C., are shut down. Additionally, paperwork in the IRS, FHA and Labor Depart-

courtesy Fox News

ment becomes delayed, and those offices become backlogged. However, essential functions, such as defense, public safety, medical care and the postal service, do not cease operations. According to the Congressional Research Service, there have been 12 government shutdowns since 1981, the longest being 21 days and the shortest lasting a mere 24 hours. Prior to 1981, there was no such thing as a government shutdown. The phrase was coined by former Attorney General Benjamin Civiletti. He determined that government work must cease until Congress arrives at an agreement on how they will fund the government. Interestingly enough, under the Antideficiency Act, a government employee can be fined or imprisoned for working pro bono during a shutdown. In 2018, the bill did not make it past the Senate floor due to disagreements about how to handle the hotly contested Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) and whether to appropriate funds to construct a border wall. It began when the Senate refused to overcome a filibuster initiated by Democrats on continuing a temporary funding bill. Additionally, the Senate missed critical points at which they should have agreed on a budget. To overcome the filibuster, a supermajority of the Senate is necessary. Although the government budget from the previous year expired in October, there have been three continuing resolutions that have funded the government until now. On January 22, the Senate voted on a resolution, and the bill passed with an 81 – 18 majority. The bill was quickly sent to President Trump for his approval. As of January 22, the measure passed under the auspices that Congress will work to find a solution to DACA and immigration. The government is temporarily funded until February 8, when another shutdown is possible.

News

5 February 2018

Apartments for a panic alarm activation. Upon arrival, officers determined that the residents of an apartment had activated the alarm by accident. The alarm was reset.

Jan. 21 8:30 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Collins Fitness Center for an injured student. The student claimed that they had sprained their ankle playing basketball. The student refused any medical treatment by officers on the scene. Officers escorted the student back to their residence. Jan. 22 5:30 a.m. While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers observed an individual near the Case Tennis Center attempting to remove a cable lock from the rear tire of a yellow TU bicycle. Officers made contact and determined that the individual was not affiliated with TU and was in the process of leaving with the bicycle. A warrants search returned negative but a previous contact card was found. Officers issued a verbal trespass warning, took possession of the bicycle and escorted the individual from campus property. 3:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers investigated an incident where a student was found in possession of two University of Tulsa parking permits on one vehicle. Officers questioned the student originally responsible for the permit, as well as the other students who at one time possessed the permit. After the investigation, it was determined that the students had been in possession of and had distributed a permit that had been marked as invalid. 6:40 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the West Park

Jan. 23 11:45 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Hardesty Hall for a fire alarm. Upon arrival, it was determined a student had burned food while heating it up in a microwave. The fire alarm panel was cleared and reset. 9:00 p.m. During a scheduled fire alarm drill, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers observed a student walk back into the building while other students were walking out. When officers attempted to speak to the student, they attempted to walk around the officers several times. The individual showed disregard in the officers verbal commands. Jan. 24 3:00 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers towed a vehicle off campus from the McFarlin Lot. A vehicle was found parked contrary to university policy and officers verified that the vehicle had been previously tow warned. Towing of the vehicle was authorized by the on-duty supervisor. While Storey was in possession of the vehicle, the owner arrived on scene and paid for their vehicle to be released. 5:35 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to an injury motor vehicle accident on 11th Street in front of the Campus Corner Bookstore. A TU student was pulling out of the bookstore parking lot and was struck by an eastbound vehicle on 11th Street. The eastbound driver suffered injuries as a result of the accident. Tulsa Police Department was contacted and completed a report. Jan. 25 2:30 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the University

Nathan Gibbons Distribution Manager

Crewmen and oil tanker missing near West Africa An oil tanker and 22 crewmen are missing in West Africa, off Benin in the Gulf of Guinea. The Panama-registered Marine Express hasn’t made contact since last Thursday. According to the International Maritime Bureau, the Benin Navy is continuing its search for the ship. A vessel was hijacked and released six days later after a ransom was paid. Indian Foreign Minister Sushma Swaraj tweeted, “We are making all out efforts in coordination with Nigerian and Benin naval authorities to trace the missing ship.” Though the pirate situation has improved in Somalia, the waters off West Africa are now extremely dangerous for maritime transport. In 2017, there was more than one attack per week in the region.

Man loses license after building tank in China Police fined a man who built his own tank out of a truck in the city of Laibin, southern Guangxi, China. He was fined the equivalent of $278 and had his license removed. Mr. Huang reportedly spent two months transforming his truck, adding a radar dish and gun turret and modifying its shape. Mr. Huang shared images of his homemade tank with friends on social media last month but also caught the attention of Chinese authorities. He was intercepted by authorities when he tried driving it on the road January 22nd. The police then took him to the station to carry out a safety education assessment. The tank has been confiscated and will be destroyed, officials say.

North Korea earns profits violating sanctions According to a new United Nations report, North Korea earned nearly $200 million by exporting banned commodities last year. The report, which was authored by investigators and sent to a UN committee on North Korea, details how North Korea exported nearly all the commodities the UN had placed sanctions on. The report indicates Vietnam, Russia, Malaysia and China are among the nations exported to. Chinese officials have denied violating sanctions, however. The document states that North Korea “is already flouting the most recent resolutions by exploiting global oil supply chains, complicit foreign nationals, offshore company registries and the international banking system.” The sanctions were placed in 2017 as a result of repeated weapons tests by North Korean military.

The Collegian: 7

School in reference to items that had been taken from the building over a period of time. The reporting party stated that multiple packages of supplies for eating and cleaning had gone missing since December. The reporting party also stated that front office computers had been manipulated while staff was not present. 3:15 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were called to the Alexander Health Center for a student who was having chest pains. When officers arrived, Emergency Medical Services Authority (EMSA) was already on scene. The student was transported to Hillcrest Oklahoma Heart Institute for further evaluation. 8:30 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers spoke with a student who reported almost being hit by a vehicle in the University Square Apartments West Lot by a white sedan. As the student crossed the street, the suspect vehicle covered the entire length of the road up to them at an excessive rate of speed. The vehicle never slowed down and proceeded south onto Delaware Avenue, squealing their tires. Jan. 26 11:50 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Oliphant Hall in response to a larceny. A student reported their bag with multiple forms of identification and bank cards were stolen from their lab. The student reported someone had tried to use their card for a large purchase. The student reported the incident to the Tulsa Police Department. 10:40 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to a noise complaint in the Mayo Village Apartments. Officers located the source of the noise and made contact with the resident. Officers conducted a shut down of the party and had all guests leave.

11:35 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to a noise complaint in the Mayo Village Apartments. A University of Tulsa student had individuals out in the breezeway and music playing too loudly. The resident and their guest said they would quiet down. A Housing Contact Card was completed. Jan. 27 1:20 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers responded to a noise complaint at the Mayo Village Apartments. A University of Tulsa student had their stereo playing too loud. The resident agreed to turn down the music. A Housing Contact Card was completed. 4:30 a.m. While on routine patrol, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers noticed a vehicle parked outside of the 11th Street gate to H. A. Chapman Stadium. The driver, who was asleep when officers pulled up, woke up and hit the gate with their vehicle. Tulsa Police Department was contacted and cited the driver. 9:40 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Fisher South Hall for a fire alarm. Officers determined that the fire alarm was activated due to burnt popcorn. Tulsa Fire Department was cancelled and the students were allowed to return to their rooms. 10:45 p.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Mayo Village Apartments for a noise complaint. Officers made contact with the residents of the apartment and warned them against any further disturbances. Officers issued a contact card. The Collegian does not produce or edit the Campus Crime Watch except for content and brevity.

Monday, February 5 to Friday, Febuary 9 Student Union Aria Rising Exhibition Aria Rising is a dynamic, rotating, interactive installation sculpture created from entirely recycled and repurposed materials. The purpose of this art installation is to facilitate awareness of sexual assault and to create an interactive experience for the viewers that promotes education, understanding and compassion. The exhibit is sponsored by Lambda Chi Alpha in partnership with TU’s Advocacy Alliance and the Student Alliance for Violence Education. Tuesday, February 6 at 7:30 p.m. Lorton Performance Center, Meinig Recital Hall Concerts with Commentary: Favorites and Finds The School of Music continues its Concerts with Commentary series with a program of French, German and English art song entitled “Favorites And Finds.” Soprano Judith Pannill Raiford and pianist Brady McElligott will present wellknown song cycles by Robert Schumann and Claude Debussy as well as rarely performed works by Frederick Delius and Émile Jacques-Dalcroze, better-known as the creator of the Dalcroze Eurhythmics method of musical instruction.

Wednesday, February 7 at 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Student Union, Chouteau Room OBI Blood Drive By donating blood to the Oklahoma Blood Institute, you can help save lives, and earn FREE Papa John’s Pizza and a FREE t-shirt! Thursday, February 8 at 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Tyrrell Hall Luke Spehar Concert Luke Spehar, who grew up in a small rural community north of Minneapolis/ St. Paul, Minnesota, began writing songs at the age of 16 and composed all of the music on his debut album, Be still, before he graduated high school. He continued to write music throughout his college years, a time he devoted to discerning a potential call to the Catholic priesthood. The songs from his second album, No Other Way, were born during this challenging time of growth and reflection. Luke recorded and released Be Still in 2010 and No Other Way one year later. Friday, February 9 at 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Mabee Gym, RAD Training Room OBI Blood Drive The RAD for Women Program of self-defense is easy to learn, easy to remember and designed specifically for women. This class has two sessions: Friday, Feb. 9, 6-8 p.m.; and Saturday, Feb. 10, 10 a.m.-noon. More information can be found on the Campus Security portion of the TU website and at http://www.rad-systems.com/. The Collegian does not produce all event descriptions in the Community Calendar. Contact us at news@tucollegian.org with events.

The Collegian: 8

Commentary

5 February 2018

The Legislative Digest is your weekly look at the happenings of Oklahoma’sstate legislature, upcoming bills and the terms to know. Raven Fawcett Commentary Editor

Oklahoma’s legislative session starts this week, on February 5. They will start to read over bills, moving them to appropriate committees to be heard, and eventually they’ll vote on bills. Here’s a look at some of the bills to keep an eye on as we go forward: SB1457: Please imagine the most disappointed face possible. Now imagine that I am making that face. It’s okay if you don’t know what I look like, any kind of disappointed face will do, as long as you understand that it is me in some sense. That is my face on reading this proposed update on a bill, which says that “all wildlife found in this state is property of Almighty God,” wherein “Almighty God” replaces “the state.” There is no reason to say that everything is property of God in legislation except to move us closer to a theocracy where I can be stoned because I cut my hair short and wear mixed fabrics. This world is scary enough without government holding me accountable to the laws of a singular religion that isn’t practiced by everyone. Hard pass. SB950: This bill would update the regulations for schools’ ability to give out non-prescription medication. Specifically, it allows students to apply sunscreen without parental consent, and for public school officials to apply sunscreen for children who can’t do it themselves with parental consent. I’m amazed that this wasn’t allowed before or perhaps just not formally written down. The addition of a clause allowing school officials to help when necessary with parental consent is a thoughtful addition that I’m impressed by. It’s a strange update to the law, but an enormously useful one in terms of efficiency. HB2895: I’m a big fan of legislators who the attorney general deems guilty of dishonorable conduct having genuine repercussions. This bill would help. It would use funds from the campaign account to help offset the cost of the ensuing special election to fill their seat. Their retirement plan may be dumped into the Oklahoma Public Employees Retirement System to help with associated costs. The chamber (House or Senate) that the legislator belonged to could reverse the attorney general’s decision if they have a simple majority (66 percent agreement), which does seem counterproductive. What if the legislator in question was popular and corrupt or otherwise behaved unethically? Generally, though, the bill would help to fund costly elections and put money to better use than propping up disgraced legislators. HB3114: Short, concise and wholly necessary, this proposed bill would prohibit anyone and anything that contracts with the state of Oklahoma and receives tax credits or tax incentives from firing employees based on sexual orientation. If you support anything this session, and if you contact your local legislator for anything this session, consider throwing your voice behind this bill. People deserve full protection against discrimination. No one should have to compartmentalize their lives and systematically hide who they are for fear of losing their livelihood.

Loot boxes should legally be considered gambling

Loot boxes cost money, rely on chance and are frequently overused, which fits the definition of gambling under Oklahoma law. Nathan Hinkle Student Writer The video game industry has quickly grown into one of the highest grossing entertainment industries ever, but legislation has lagged behind. One of the current major issues is whether digital loot boxes should be considered gambling. Loot boxes are a digital chest one can purchase that holds a series of random virtual items. Each item has a certain chance of appearing, with items designated as rare being infrequent yet extraordinary. It is completely random chance what items one receives. Loot boxes have been an issue for years in the gaming community because gamers feel that content which would have been previously free is now being locked away behind monetized barriers. There have also

been similar fears that loot boxes containing in-game items may give players unfair advantages over their peers. Loot boxes have recently been thrust into the forefront due to the enormous backlash concerning Electronic Arts’ video game “Star Wars Battlefront II.” Due to this, legislators such as Rep. Chris Lee of Hawaii and Sen. Kevin Ranker of Washington have been discussing the ramifications of the practice and its effects on video game’s normally young audience. I believe that Oklahoma should follow in the footsteps of other states and acknowledge that loot boxes infringe on current gambling laws for the State of Oklahoma. Understanding gambling laws in Oklahoma is important. The closest comparison between loot boxes and regular gambling is the slot machine. Both require a small amount of money for each pull and include a weighted but random chance of valuable winnings. Lesser-valued options have a higher probability of showing up while rarer options are less likely to appear. According to Oklahoma Gambling Law, Statute 21-964, slot machines are defined as “any machine, instrument, mechanism or device that operates or may be played or operated mechanically, electrically, automatically or manually, and which can be played or operated by any person by paying to or depositing with any person, or by depositing with or into any cache, slot, or place a coin, chip, token, check, credit, money, representative of value or a thing of value,

and by which play or operation such person will stand to win or lose, whether by skill or chance, or by both, a thing of value.” This legal definition is broad in scope, and one can see how loot boxes fit into this definition. In video games, people purchase loot boxes through the use of physical money, or purchased digital currency. Upon receiving these loot boxes, one opens them and randomly receives items that can be used in game. It can be argued that as opposed to slot machines, one always receives a set of items in a loot box. However, in most loot box systems, some of the items received can be duplicates of previously-received items, and one only receives piddling rewards in the form of digital currency for them in place of a tangible item. While there is a dif-

According to the Entertainment Software Association, the trade association for video games in the United States, 18 percent of male video game players in the United States are under the age of 18, the largest amount of male players. Conversely, 11 percent of female players are under the age of 18, the second largest. This is a large number of people who should not be legally or mentally involved in gambling of any form. Oklahoma citizens are required to be 18 years or older to gamble in land-based and online casinos, poker rooms, dog/horse racing and online sports betting. 16-year-olds are allowed to gamble at bingo halls. However, these laws do not affect video games and similar virtual applications.

“Oklahoma should... acknowledge the fact that loot boxes infringe on current gambling laws.” ference here, it is extremely miniscule, and loot boxes should be still treated as slot machines under the law. What’s more, the younger people who play these games are at a higher risk of developing gambling addictions due to the lack of complete brain development. In an article by the U.S. National Institute of Health’s National Library of Medicine, adolescents are two- to four-times more likely to experience gambling problems than their older peers.

In a statement to website Kotaku, Sen. Ranker stated, “It is unacceptable to be targeting our children with predatory gambling in a game with dancing bunnies or something.” Oklahoma lawmakers should also sit down with video game publishers to figure out the best way to regulate loot boxes and acknowledge the dangerous effects they can have on video games’ younger playerbase.

Native languages deserve more attention on TU’s campus

Unfortunately, TU has too many financial uncertainties to add a new, albeit helpful, language program. Nathan Gibbons Distribution Manager At Yale University, students must complete a language requirement by either taking the required classes or placing out of the courses by proving their fluency. Many students have pointed out, however, that indigenous languages aren’t among the dozens of options. Alanna Pyke, president of the Association for Native Americans at Yale, said, “During my first semester at Yale, I realized that I could not take my native language, Mohawk, for any type of credit … Students have worked throughout the years to gain credit for our indigenous languages to no avail.” In 2015, Yale started providing Yale’s Native American Language Project, or NALP, an extracurricular program. Through NALP, students may study languages like Creek, Cherokee and Navajo. Twice a week, students learn through video chat with Native American language teachers from around the continent. However, the program doesn’t provide any academic credit. Students who are interested in an indigenous language

must learn it parallel to a credited language. Yale students have voiced their criticisms and emphasized the importance of learning indigenous languages. “Yale is sending a clear message to its indigenous students, which is that our knowledges, stories and cultures are not valid sources of academic thought or study,” Pyke said. “Yale’s disregard for indigenous people creates an academic environment that is susceptible to further acts of prejudice.” Some faculty have voiced their hopes that these languages become available for credit within the next four years. The question comes to whether more universities, such as our own University of Tulsa, should consider making indigenous languages available for credit. Such additions would have their challenges. This would mean approving and teaching new courses, finding the proper teachers and so on. For a school that has been dealing with monetary problems on and off, it’d certainly be too much of a risk.

The importance of native languages shouldn’t go unnoticed, however. Though one could make the fair argument that these languages wouldn’t likely come into much use in day-to-day life, one could also argue many students are already learning foreign languages they personally won’t end up using. Plus, students don’t learn a language merely for its utility. A language provides insight into the framework in which people think. Given the historical and cultural significance of indigenous languages, learning a language for the sake of study should be good enough. Right now, the University of Tulsa probably can’t risk taking on the workload that comes with adding these new classes. However, students could work to start extracurricular studies, resembling the NALP at Yale, and test student interest. If enough students show enthusiasm, perhaps one day TU could see indigenous languages in the classroom.

courtesy University of Tulsa The University of Tulsa offers three majors, eight minors and three interdisciplinary degrees in a variety of languages.

5 February 2018

Commentary

The Collegian: 9

Stepping: a tradition that belongs to everyone

University of Tennesee Chattanooga made the wrong call in not allowing white Greek organizations to participate in a tradition both white and black students had shared for decades. Justin Guglielmetti Sports Editor This past October, the administration of the University of Tennessee - Chattanooga caused an uproar amongst the student body after it canceled one of the most popular events on campus, the Homecoming stepping competition. Historically-black Greek organizations have been stepping (a form of step dancing with traditionally African roots) on college campuses across the nation since the early 1900s. At UTC in the early ‘90s, members of the predominantly white sorority Alpha Delta Pi asked Delta Sigma Theta if they would be allowed to participate in the latter’s Homecoming stepping event. In a triumphant moment of racial unity, Delta agreed and began a tradition that would last for more than 20 years, with Greek students from all walks of life coming together to show off their moves. This year it ended. The culprit? That dreaded bogeyman – cultural appropriation. In 2016, the black fraternities and sororities at UTC decided not to participate in the “StepDown,” which had been sponsored by the school’s administration ever since Delta Sigma Theta was suspended in 2008 for hazing a new member. They instead opted

to organize their own competing show, the Chattanooga Black Greek Weekend, held the same day at an off-campus venue. In doing so, they were sending a clear message: that stepping was theirs, and they would not have it appropriated by white students any longer. After a year of debates and town hall forums, Jim Hicks, the dean of students, canceled the event altogether. According to a “Washington Post” article published in December, some of the routines put on by majority-white Greek organizations in recent years had featured students dressed up as chain gangs and basketball players, costume choices that, though not by definition evocative of black people, were clearly intended to play on African-American stereotypes. You will find no argument from me that these costume choices, particularly the former, are in extremely bad taste and rightly offensive to many who would view them. But arguments from other figures on campus, including Hicks and Kinnawa Katibi, a 23-year-old graduate from UTC, did not stop at decrying these mocking get-ups. They insinuated that the very act of stepping, when performed by a white person, was disrespectful to black culture.

no greater meaning, or a sense of why. We don’t step without a ‘why.’ It connects us to something bigger.” What is this larger meaning? Ultimately, I’m not sure it matters because the meaning is immaterial, undefinable. Connection to “black culture” or more specifically to one’s roots, is a rather ethereal concept, one that means something very different to each individual. It’s far from insignificant to those who harbor such sentiments, and I won’t attempt to diminish the experience of those black students who feel that stepping is something more than just a dance. But one’s subjective thoughts about the importance of an action do not dictate who else can perform it. It may be that not one white Greek student at UTC views the stepping show as anything more than an opportunity to show off their dancing ability. But what if there are some out there who feel, as I do, that a performance where different cultures come together over a piece of art is as beautiful a display of racial unity as we can see in this racially polarized age? Is stepping not something significant to that person, albeit in a different way than it is to the black stu-

“[Stepping’s] rhythm, musicality and lack of defined moves make it universally appealing.” And this is where I have to disagree. Hicks was quoted in the article as saying to white students that “stepping isn’t yours” when they complained about StepDown’s cancellation. Why isn’t it theirs, exactly? What makes the dance the exclusive property of black students? The general sentiment among members of black Greek organizations seemed to be that because their reasons for stepping were rooted in an older tradition than that of the white students, they were also more valid. UTC grad Nate Harlan put it like this: “When white students performed, it was just a performance. It had

dents? You still might not be with me, and that’s totally fine. For one, I presented a hypothetical hinged on a person feeling a particular way, and that is no guarantee. In addition, there are those who feel that the act of borrowing from a culture, or as they would probably refer to it, “stealing,” is inherently wrong. I contend that white people adopting an element from a non-white culture is indicative of their acceptance that white supremacy is bogus. Stepping is not an inferior form of dance because it arose from African roots. Quite the contrary, its rhythm,

musicality and lack of defined moves make it universally appealing. Attempting to establish stepping as something that only black people can perform sets a dangerous precedent and only serves to further stoke tensions between black and white. It is quite literally segregation along racial lines and all ultimately based on the argument “We did it first.” Could you imagine if we applied this same logic consistently? If people were only allowed to use products or services that were created by their own culture, when that culture is so loosely established in this case that it is defined as little more than the color of one’s skin? We could go into innumerable examples of things that would have to be “white-only” and vice versa. Hell, it would probably take us even longer to go back through everything that both races wouldn’t be allowed to use since it came out of Asia. Obviously, we don’t treat the real world this way. Not only is it functionally impossible, it is based on a racist, evil precept — the idea that a person can be denied something because of the color of their skin, that their worth as a human being is different from one’s own because of differing levels of melanin in their skin. It’s this sort of thinking that led to subjugation and enslavement of African peoples by white colonialists for hundreds of years, and it is the type of mindset that we must never allow ourselves to fall back into. That holds true for everybody. I don’t use such language to sound alarmist. This will not be a piece that concludes with a warning of the death of an alleged “white America.” I don’t think that the black Greek organizations at UTC want revenge against white people for past grievances. But they should step back and examine what they are truly saying when they argue that they should be allowed to do something that white people cannot. They should ask themselves, as should you, why is more division something to be encouraged? Why not come together? Why not share?

Academic dishonesty a disservice to everyone but cheaters

Most students have cheated academically once or twice, but serial cheaters skew the meaning of a good GPA. Trenton Gibbons News Editor In middle school, I once transcribed the study guide to a theology exam on my arm and saw another student do the same on their leg. After the test, I debated with my friends whether I should turn my classmate in for cheating. When they pointed out my hypocrisy, I was upset and made some argument like, “But this other boy does this all the time!” It was a ridiculous argument, maybe, but to me, it held validity. I sympathize with students who find themselves at their wit’s end, exhausted or stressed to the point where cheating is a last resort to avoid the alternative of academic

failure. Although varying, most statistics point to over half of college students having cheated, and the majority do regret it. I feel uneasy over the times I’ve cheated as well, and I should note that I can maybe count them off on the fingers of one hand. In college, I can honestly say I’ve never cheated on an exam, even during those times a professor left me in their office to take midterms I’d been absent for. For whatever reason, cheating on exams frustrates me to a perplexing extent. I was recently distracted by a student who’d whip his phone out from his jacket pocket to a space behind the desk in front of him. This was a loud and distracting motion; I honestly can’t imagine the professor didn’t notice it once or twice. For me, it was beyond irritating. These kinds of things happen all the time. In addition, some professors seem incapable of hearing whispers in a foreign language, and some are so trusting as to leave the exam room entirely unsupervised, and you end up with the reality that compulsive cheaters are going to cheat often and get away with it. Worse still, it’s going to improve their GPA. A poll conducted at Fordham University shows a sizable gap: cheaters average at a 3.41 GPA, honest students round out at a 2.85 GPA. This flies in the face of the argument that cheaters are often poor students,

courtesty Sean Locke/Stocksy Some students cheat so conspicuously that honest students are left to wonder why they, too, aren’t cheating if they won’t face repercussions.

so their cheating does not elevate their grade to the extent it would beat out honest, impressive students. I try not to be the kind of person who preaches that all good things must be the product of hard work — but that’s not the problem of cheating. It wouldn’t matter to me if compulsive, serial cheaters were suc-

ceeding in a vacuum, but the fact of the matter is that they are competing with you, a potentially-honest student. And there’s a good chance they’re doing better than you because of their academic dishonesty. It’s not wrong because it’s easier for them; it’s wrong because it gives them an advantage over us.

Amazon narrows headquarters’ search to exciting, large cities

Neb Esayas Student Writer Amazon is looking to settle into a big city, bringing jobs and money, which would be a perfect fit for Montgomery County, Alabama. Amazon’s reach touches millions every day. Whether you are ordering something from the tech giant’s website, or shopping at Whole Foods, every dollar you spend is making Amazon richer. The founder of Amazon, Jeffrey Bezos, is also the richest man in the world, with a net worth of $113.5 billion. Nonetheless, recent chatter about Amazon is not about the founder, but rather where they are going to open up their new headquarters.

When Amazon demonstrated their interest in opening a new headquarters, known as HQ2, roughly 238 cities, regions and districts applied to bring Amazon’s headquarters to their town. Many of these cities used tax breaks, key location and public support to gain leverage. Most recently, Amazon has released a list of 20 cities in the United States and Canada that have become finalists in the process. Major cities such as Atlanta and Chicago made the cut, as did Raleigh in North Carolina, Montgomery County in Maryland, northern Virginia and Washington, D.C. Fierce competition is likely to stem out of this bidding process, as Montgomery County and northern Virginia are just a short distance away from each other, as is Washington, D.C. Among the most interesting bids was from Newark, New Jersey, where city executives have offered up to $7 billion in tax incentives for the tech giant. Although it is a significant sum, it is unlikely that just a monetary incentive will give the city a leg up. Amazon has listed some requirements for HQ2. Clearly stated on their website, “We expect HQ2 to be a full equal to our Seattle Headquarters.” They are looking for a metropolitan area with more than one million

people, a stable and business-friendly environment and communities with the ability to attract and retain talent. Additionally, Amazon is looking for a place where its employees can travel to work via bicycle, public transportation or by foot. Based on their requirements, it seems as if Amazon is looking for a city that reflects its corporate culture.

Amazon’s current headquarters is in Seattle, Washington. It employs well over 40,000 people and has an economic impact well in the billions. If the plan goes accordingly, then the economic impact of HQ2 is well worth the effort. Although I am extremely biased, I think Montgomery County would be one of the best places for HQ2 to be built. The area has

“[Having Amazon’s headquarders] is like hosting an Olympic Games without having to build the infrastructure.” Why are cities and local governments scrambling to get Amazon’s headquarters in their district? It is like hosting an Olympic Games without having to build the infrastructure. Amazon’s move will bring $5 billion in value to the city through investments. Additionally, over 50,000 high-paying jobs will need to be filled by talented individuals. Ideally, these people will reside in the same area, where they will pay taxes, thus boosting the local economy. Housing will need to be constructed and new infrastructure will go up, creating new jobs and increasing tax revenue.

everything that Amazon is looking for. Top tier universities are not too far, so skilled employees would not be a problem. Additionally, some of the most efficient public transportation systems are already in place. Employees can take the metro or bus to work. There are natural resources within a half-hour drive, and the nation’s capital is within 12 miles. Three airports are within 45 minutes of central Montgomery Country, which makes business travel easy. It would be a mistake to overlook one of the greatest counties in the United States.

The Collegian: 10

Variety

Migos delivers lackluster performance on “Culture II”

The album falls short of its predecessor, “Culture,” producing none of the trademark Migos bangers. Thomas von Borstel Student Writer

“Culture II,” released January 26, is a 24song track that gets boring around the 12th song. With a few listens of the full hour-andforty-minute album, the overall tone is monotonous and misses the previous flow and ferocity of the original “Culture.” Inevitably a sequel is inevitably going to be compared to the former, but no matter if the comparison is made, the album still lacks any true cultural significance. The album is overinflated from the start with songs, lyrics and dull beats. “Higher We Go” is a repetitive anthem to nothing, entirely devoid of the lyricism and creativity of “Culture” and it’s follow-up song “TShirt.” A semblance of flow later appears on “Narcos” with some absolutely destructive 808s. Unfortunately, noteworthy songs like this are rare on this album, and even “Narcos” is a middle-of-the-road song with a semi-catchy hook and a decent but typical Atlanta beat. “Bad Bitches Only,” featuring 21 Savage, is just hard to listen to. The consensus from several TU students I questioned and from the charts is that “Stir

Fry” is the stand-out song of the album, but by the time I had gotten to it, the album had grown so monotonous, it was increasingly difficult to listen with any true attentiveness. “Stir Fry” did catch attention though. The quirky, upbeat tone with whistles and bells lays a unique foundation. Unfortunately, the hook doesn’t catch anyone, and the lyrics don’t capture the gumption of the previous hit single “Bad and Boujee.” Overall, it’s pretty easy to dislike this album. All of the star-studded features mean absolutely nothing and add little to the overall feel of the album. The album’s greatest problem is its lack of unity. It doesn’t feel coherent. It’s most likely a collusion of past projects thrown together for fans. But nobody benefits from this release. Yes, a few songs are enjoyable, but nothing about them has me running back for more. None of the captivating juxtaposition of high and low culture that made the significance of Migos’s name choice so apparent. The album quickly jumps from slow to hard beats with seemingly little warning or reason. The three amigos are singing on several tracks, which is interesting, but poorly executed. Nothing about these songs is interesting except for the fact that “Takeoff” is passionately about the love of nachos. To anyone who hasn’t listened to six hours of this album, avoid it. Listen to the singles: “Stir-Fry” and “MotorSport,” and

5 February 2018

courtesy Capitol Records

The new record, ultimately bland, clocks in at around an hour and forty minutes with 24 songs.

then go through “Narcos” and “Made Men.” The rest of the songs on this album are more akin to the “Age of Federalism” my dad would read to me when I went to sleep at night. Don’t get me wrong, I love Migos. I loved “Culture,” maybe too much, and that is perhaps my personal downfall. Maybe I

am being too harsh on this album, but no can deny it’s a test in patience with its lengthy running time featuring only twenty minutes of truly interesting beats and lyricism. “Culture II” by Migos released January 26 and is available now.

“Phenomenally” a reflective, empowering poetry event MUSED organization hosted “Phenomenally” with the aim of creating a celebratory venue for women-centric poetry. Cheyanne Wheat Student Writer On Saturday, January 27, MUSED organization hosted an event called “Phenomenally,” based off the famous poem by Maya Angelou. It was located at The Brooksider on 35th and Peoria, and all proceeds from the event went to the Reverse Selfie Project. The event was to celebrate women’s vigor and beauty, feminism and Nicci Atchley’s birthday. Nicci Atchley is a writer for “The Tulsa Voice” and a realtor in the community. The pamphlet shared a sweet anecdote from her past, reading, “When Nicci was 18, she read a poem that changed the trajectory of her life — the words ‘I am a woman, phenomenally’ became her mantra. The lines “It’s in the reach of my arms, the span of my hips, the stride of my step” became her marching song.” It gave the event a mission statement with a personal flair. The Reverse Selfie Project is a six-week workshop hosted by Tulsa Public Schools. The project promotes stepping back from technology and looking within through poetry. Their statement is, “When we are the center of our world we cannot see (or serve) the real world.” The Reverse Selfie Project aims to guide students to be selfless and benevolent human beings, for these types of people will look at the world and try to change it. Walking into The Brooksider, I was floored. Entering through a seven-foot glass door, I immediately met a friendly doorman and a glowing staircase. At the door, pam-

phlets and legal pads were handed to the guests. Guests were encouraged to write poems to share at the event. Ladies were asked to write about their younger self, and men were asked to write about a woman who inspires them. The event was held on the top floor. The room was packed with people in evening gowns, glittery cocktail dresses and pristine suits. To my surprise, the men outnumbered the women. The event had a large selection of sushi rolls and fancy drinks, sponsored by In the Raw and Artisan Fine Wine and Spirits. The stage was placed right in front of the stairs. While no one was speaking, a duet would play their guitar and snare drum and sing sweet, soft songs. I couldn’t find a place to sit so I stood by the stairs most of the event. There was both scheduled and unscheduled poetry readings. It was hard to differentiate the two, but no one seemed to mind. It was captivating hearing what inspires, motivates and empowers. Peering around the room when someone read their work, I saw eyes glistening and lips curled in bliss. It was an intimate yet glamorous event that gave an unparalleled experience to its guests. “Phenomenally” was a great experience for Tulsa poetry fans. It is important to step back and reflect on life once in a while. I’d like to see the program expand as they gain years behind them. The Brooksider is one of the many gorgeous pieces of architecture Tulsa has to offer. Overall, the event beamed so much with glam, it was almost distracting. It was a great experience to step out of my own element and experience the events hosted by the Tulsa upper-class. Most of all, the poetry was a personal element that cannot be rivaled. It allowed a window into the lives of Tulsans from all backgrounds who care deeply about women and celebrate their success.

The night on which “Phenomenally” occurred was marked with black suits, poetry readings and a good view of our city.

photos by Cheyanne Wheat

5 February 2018

Variety

“CHRYSALIS” exhibit explores childhood, social maturation

Erin Rappleye’s exhibit, “CHRYSALIS,” a jewelry-centric installation, focuses more on stagnant snapshots of the past than a future-bound metamorphosis. Emily Every Student Writer

Erin Rappleye’s current walk-in art installation, titled “CHRYSALIS,” endeavors to recontextualize the childhood playroom. Rappleye, a Tulsa-based artist, writes of the playroom as “a space where we can mimic learned behavior through interactions with our peers or inanimate objects,” resulting in an “internal process of maturation.” Rappleye’s reason for naming her exhibit after the transformation of larvae becomes apparent upon first sight: stepping inside the exhibit is as evocative of rediscovering your childhood playroom as it is of coming upon some silken, alien hollow. “CHRYSALIS” is completely self-contained in a small room within the gallery itself. Held up by wooden beams and encircled by walls of paper and mesh fabric, the small room emulates the feeling of entering a new, discrete space despite having no built-in floor or ceiling. Within the enclosure of the exhibit, the viewer is confronted with whitewashed toys and trinkets that adorn the typified childhood: light toy trucks attached to white wooden wheels are scattered across the gallery’s gray concrete floor; a white toy piano, a small white tea set and a white miniature kitchen all sit unattended at three of the room’s corners; a child’s ecru lace dress and a porcelain baby doll are draped over the backs of empty chairs. The only spot of color in the exhibit is the pink plastic horse that stands guard on the counter of the kitchen playset. Rappleye specializes in jewelry as an art form, and this is apparent here. Hung from

the ceiling of the gallery itself, but lowered to the level of the installation, is a handwrought, functioning light fixture that mirrors vintage gasoliers. Several other metal ornaments hang from the ceilings and walls of the exhibit, giving the impression of a deconstructed mobile. Sewn into the mesh of the back-corner walls of the exhibit is a swarm of white paper butterflies. The lightness of the paper texture brings a considerable amount of levity and dynamism to the exhibit’s visuals, which may have otherwise been bogged down by the metals of the mobiles and the visual weight of the white furniture in the room. Rappleye’s artist statement describes her interest in communicating how “a child’s playroom functions as a sort of social chrysalis.” While the chrysalis aspect of the work comes through the aesthetics of the installation, the actual facet of transformation seems largely absent. The installation represents a snapshot of childhood, not the metamorphosis into adulthood. Rappleye writes of certain hints of the transformation, but not enough to redefine the experience of the exhibit. For example, the placement of the doll near the kitchen playset couples and juxtaposes childhood with adulthood clearly, but that is the most obvious case of this. If anything, the exhibit has the aura of abandonment, not of metamorphosis. While an interesting illustration of an idealized, whitewashed childhood, I would be hesitant to say it fully realizes the metaphor of the chrysalis. Erin Rappleye currently works at Tulsa Community College as an Assistant Professor of Art. Her installation, “CHRYSALIS,” is currently at Living Arts in the Brady Arts District until Thursday, Feb. 15. The exhibits are open noon to 5 p.m., with free admission Tuesday through Saturday, excluding Thursdays.

Nonfiction books to satisfy historical, political itches Editor-in-Chief Kayleigh Thesenvitz weighs in with books for those curious about apartheid, political civility or self-fulfillment. If you’re curious about Apartheid South Africa: “Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood” by Trevor Noah You don’t have to be a fan of “The Daily Show” or any of Noah’s Netflix stand-ups to appreciate this beautifully-written and humorous autobiography. Noah is half-black and half-white, which had severe consequences for his upbringing. Covering topics from childhood bullying to generational intertribal conflict and religion, Noah artfully paints racial injustice in South Africa in a humanizing light. When proponents of humanitarian intervention talk about South Africa, they use statistics. When historians talk about South Africa, they focus on Nelson Mandela. Instead, Noah’s book a illustrates the impact of racist policies on a micro level. The perspective shift to see the impact of institutionalized racism on a deeply personal level is especially useful today, as society creeps ever further apart from our understanding of fellow humans. If you’re curious about political civility: “The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion” by Jonathan Haidt While we’re on the topic of understanding, this book is a must-read. Despite its social-science-y nature, the book is an accessible read on the semi-universals of human morality across cultures and religions and offers a compelling theory of the origin of morality. Given the vastness of topics under the umbrella of moral psychology, it may be useful to summarize parts of the book so you know what you’re getting into. The book starts by explaining social intuitionism, the idea that our moral intuitions come first, and we only bother to rationalize our moral positions when they are questioned. When it comes to moral questions, we all answer based on our emotions. All rationalization about our moral values is post-hoc. The second part of the book highlighted moral matrices which we almost universally share: care/harm, fairness/cheating, loyalty/ betrayal, authority/subversion, sanctity/degradation and liberty/oppression. We share these matrices to varying degrees, the author

says, and so we should be skeptical when we hear that there is one true morality for all people, times and places. Note that this is not an argument for moral relativism, but for moral pluralism. The final section is about the origin of morality. Haidt says human behavior is a mix of selfish and groupish traits, due to multi-level selection of human evolution. This duel evolution of humankind includes the claim religion played a crucial role in our evolutionary history. If you’re looking for a dose of optimism while thinking about human morality, maybe this quote will convince you that this book is worth reading: “We may spend most of our waking hours advancing our own interests,” writes Haidt, “but we all have the capacity to transcend self-interest and become simply part of a whole.” If you’re curious about being the best version of yourself: “Talent is Overrated: What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else” by Geoff Colvin “Great performance is more valuable than ever, but where does it really come from?” This is the opening line of Colvin’s book. His answer: deliberate practice. Wait! Don’t leave yet. This isn’t just the 244-page equivalent of “Practice makes perfect.” Colvin demonstrates that deliberate practice includes particular steps. I’m going to provide an outline here, but it is really no substitute for reading the book for yourself. Deliberate practice is activity designed to improve performance, often with a teacher’s help. It can and must be repeated. Feedback is continually available. The action is intellectually demanding, and it isn’t much fun. The real point of the book is to demonstrate that these kinds of actions that make people the best of the best aren’t only possible in realms like sports, music and chess, where practice makes the most sense. Businesspeople, authors, scientists — greatness through deliberate practice is available to anyone in any field, as long as you know what you’re doing and never turn your back on a good mentor. The trudging path to being among the greats isn’t any fun, but heck it, neither is getting an undergraduate degree. Read this book, and then go off and make your fellow Hurricanes proud.

The Collegian: 11

photo by Emily Every

The burst of color and texture from the butterflies in “CHRYSALIS” gave it a serendipitous trait it may not have originally held.

CaneFlix movies satiate variety of film-desires Underappreciated and underutilized, CaneFlix has a myriad of popular films, contemporary or otherwise, for which the service is worth using. Michaela Flonard Managing Editor CaneFlix has a movie for just about every taste, but when faced with that many choices, it can be difficult knowing which to choose. Luckily, we’ve put together a list of great watches on the site, available on campus. If you’re in the mood for a classic, try: “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986) “The Breakfast Club” (1985) “Dirty Dancing” (1987) “Godfather” (1972) “Thelma and Louise”(1991) Looking to be scared? “Get Out” (2017) “10 Cloverfield Lane” (2016) Want something that’s well-renowned, check out: “Loving” (2016)

“Moonlight” (2016) “Fruitvale Station” (2013) “La La Land” (2016)

A good ol’ action/adventure flick? “Wonder Woman” (2017) “Kill Bill: Volume I” (2003) “John Wick” (2014) and “John Wick: Chapter 2” (2017) “The Fast and the Furious” (2001) and “The Fate of the Furious” (2017) “Men in Black” (1997) School made you want some laughs? “Easy A” (2010) “Fifty Shades of Grey” (2015) and “Fifty Shades Darker” (2017) “For a Good Time, Call…” (2012) “Bridesmaids” (2011) The totally arbitrary categories of thriller/drama include: “I Am Not a Serial Killer” (2016) “Miss Sloane” (2016) “American Gangster” (2007) “The Silence of the Lambs” (1991) Movie series to binge: “Transformers” (first 2007) “Harry Potter” (first 2001) “Hunger Games” (first 2012)

The Collegian: 12

Variety

5 February 2018

“NEW/NOW” a hit gallery with multiple perspectives

The Tulsa Artist Fellowship’s new gallery, “NEW/NOW,” features hand-picked and powerful pieces from TAF’s fellows. Brennen Gray Student Writer

The “NEW/NOW” art gallery hit the Philbrook’s downtown location and remains until March 3. Each art piece comes from the Tulsa Arts Fellowship. Everyone in Tulsa should spend an hour there; it’s a must-see. I enjoyed the inventive use of space in some of the pieces. “String Theory” by Codak Smith had color, balance and texture. The three-dimensional effect of the strings running up and down the piece gave a new layer to the art.

Another interesting use of space that caught my eye was a piece called “dreams and bones” (stylized) by Rena Detrixhe. It looked like a campfire but with paper mache antler-like bones instead of sticks. It was lying in the middle of the room on the floor, almost as if it were more part of the museum than its on art piece. One of the most eye-catching exhibits was “Sanguine Flow” by Rachel Hayes. It was made from twine and tulle. It flowed across the wall from it was mounted in such a way that I thought it was actually moving, bursting with color. The Native American art maintained a powerful presence throughout the experience. A piece called “Ho-Kee-Ma Bigknife” by Adam Carnes captured an indigenous man posing. It was beautiful. I savored every detail of him: his colors, the feathers he was wearing,

his face paint, his costume and even the tiny cigarette he was holding. “All That We Wear” by Anita Fields had three clear-material shirts hanging from strings. There were see-through and floating, which reminded me of ghost-dance shirts from Native protests. Moving to social commentary, a piece called “Battle Jacket” by Emily M. Chase was one of my personal favorites. Made from paper, it somehow looked like a leather biker jacket. The description said it also had freshwater pearls and Swarovski crystals.It was oddly thrilling to see something so dark and powerful include things so beautiful. It embodied feminism in a time where the world needs that jacket. Next to it was a piece by the same artist, called “Stress Fracture.” It was another white-paper shirt hanging from a string. A

“Sanguine Flow,” by Rachel Hayes.

“dreams and bones,” by Rena Detrixhe.

“String Theory,” by Codak Smith.

“Stress Fracture,” by Emily M. Chase.

couple black birds were bursting out of the back, and one lay on the ground behind him. Anyone should interpret this one for themselves. Another piece that caught my eye was “Ephemeral Propinquity” by Jave Yoshimoto. It was carved into wood with laser. It had quite a bit going on, including Godzilla in the background. The attention to detail was incredible, even if it was done by a laser. The gallery also made use of the staircase that goes upstairs. Next to it was a box of sharpies and sticky notes. It invited visitors to write a goal they have for themselves on a note and stick it to the staircase wall. The sign also said visitors could take a note too. I left one myself. Maybe someone will pick it up. The “NEW/NOW” exhibition runs until March 3.

photos by Tatum Cole

First Friday Art Crawl yet another great taste of Tulsa

Febuary’s First Friday event features a slew of new galleries and the ever-popular Pie Night at Antoinette’s bakery. Elizabeth Young Student Writer

First Friday is a uniquely-Tulsan event with a little bit for everyone. It encompasses the Tulsa Arts District and offers everything from art and music to street performers and pie night. I always like to begin First Friday at the art museums. Tulsa is lovely in that the city opens the art museums in the Tulsa Art District with free admission for the First Friday of every month, and there are quite a few art museums to choose from.

108 Contemporary, which showcases modern art and features local artists, had an exhibit featuring the artwork of Patrick Doughtery this February First Friday. His gallery consisted of photographs of sculptures he had made with trees to show the effects of civilization on nature. In addition to Doughtery’s exhibit, there was a quilt installation showcased with huge quilt squares hung from the ceiling, almost touching the floor, providing large mosaics of color. These exhibits will only be featured until Febuary 26, and patrons can see different exhibits next First Friday. At the Philbrook, which has a different set of artworks each First Friday, there was a piece of particularly thought-provoking art on gender and racial stereotypes. The artist recorded an African-American basketball

player in a Lakers Jersey shooting hoops while wearing a large hoop skirt. In addition to this piece, Philbrook showcased other installations that challenged cultural norms. While the other art museums are mainly a viewing experience, the Hardesty Arts Center included an area where visitors can actually create art. On this First Friday, there were three art stations, including post-it note art and shaving cream art. I chose to create a work on a post-it note, now proudly displayed on the designated wall at Hardesty Arts. Outside the art museums were a variety of street performers and people handing out flyers for upcoming events. The TU theatre department performed a scene on the street corner, advertising their upcoming performance of “1984.” There was also a juggler

on a corner wearing a TU sweatshirt with a sign at his feet reading, “$2 gets me 1% off my textbooks,” a plight to which every TU student can relate. After admiring the art museums, no First Friday is complete without partaking in Pie Night at Antoinette’s bakery, which stays open until 10:30 p.m. for the event. To end a good First Friday at Antoinette’s, one must arrive early to get pie before they sell out. With pie in hand, one must then hope to be lucky enough to score one of the few tables to enjoy it with friends. That’s what First Friday is to me: first art, then pie with friends. When First Friday comes around, grab a friend and find out what the Arts District can be for you. The next First Friday Art Crawl is March 2, 6 – 9 p.m.

The quilts at 108 Contemporary and the post-it notes at the Hardesty Arts Center showcase both the exhibit-oriented and interactive opportunities present at First Friday, respectively.

photos by Elizabeth Young

5 February 2018

The State-Run Media

The Collegian: 13

Google’s Arts & Culture app lacks class TU run by secret society of campus cats TU undesirable used a recent update to the Google Arts & Culture app, which matches their face to a famous painting, and it ended as well as you’d expect. Brian Kwiecinski Listens to “Last Resort” by Papa Roach 15 times a day Yet again, Silicon Valley has slighted me. In many cases, being compared to a work of art is flattering. However, when Google tells me my selfie is a bona fide Pollock painting, I’ve got some issues. Granted, I’ve never been what the kids call “easy on the eyes,” and few have been able to look at me for more than five seconds without crying. But, just like beloved Sloth from “The Goonies,” I have feelings. Feelings that were damaged in the process of using Google’s new arts and culture app. This accursed app will have you take a selfie and immediately match you to people depicted in works of art along with a “% Match” between you and them. It has blown up all over the Twittersphere and the Facebooks. I naively decided to join this funky fresh craze after some fellow Old School RuneScape enthusiasts began talking about being matched with works of art by people like Gustave Courbet and Van Gogh (the early years). When my last date tucked and rolled out of my car after getting a proper look at me, I decided I could use the ego boost. Upon taking a picture that could have easily netted me three new MySpace friends

over the course of a year, I eagerly awaited my match. Yet, I didn’t find my ego inflated by some comparison to Michelangelo’s “David” or at least one of Frida Kahlo’s self-portraits. I was greeted with an absolute disaster of splotches and irregular lines, the same disaster I see in the mirror every morning. What was next to my picture hit even harder than when my mom stood me up at prom. My picture was matched Jackson Pollock’s “She-Wolf.” Before you ask, I was not wearing my fur suit at the time. Despite the name, I was not matched up with some graceful canine prancing through a mystical forest. Instead my slightly unbearable face had a 100 percent match with what looked like a Banksy piece if Banksy had taken nine tabs of acid and stroked out in the middle of it. Thinking there must have been some mistake, I decided to try it again. This time, I gave that camera my classic Blue Steel look. With a smolder like that, I knew that pathetic app had no chance of hurting me again. But alas, I was wronger than Napoleon invading Russia in the winter. Clocking in at a 98 percent match, I was matched up with Andy Warhol’s “32 Campbell’s Soup Cans.” Enraged, I immediately emailed Google’s customer service line using my business email. Their response read: “Dear YuGiOhDuelMaster420, we regret to inform you that our technicians can’t stop laughing long enough to fix this issue. Instead, we have attached links below to various plastic surgeons in your area. Please find help.” Well Google, I guess you just lost another user to Bing. If you want to talk and work this out, you have my mother’s address.

A club of square and sushi-loving cats are the true puppeteers of TU’s day-to-day operations, according to Wilson Mann. Sara Serrano Hopes her cat isn’t plotting anything

To most, the cats that roam the University of Tulsa are a cute and welcome sight, or at the very least a small reprieve from the mundanity of existence. But to one student, these cats are a part of something much more sinister. “Oh, this goes all the way to the top,” said senior finance major Wilson Mann, who vehemently believes these cats are responsible for all that goes on at TU. “Oh yeah, the stray cats are liked here. People put out food for them. Someone even made them an Instagram page. But that’s just what the cats want!” said Mann in an exclusive interview. “They want you to think they’re cute and harmless, but if everyone knew the truth, oh how quickly the smiles would fall.” Mann insists that not only are these cats far more intelligent than they appear, almost on par with human intelligence, but nefarious as well. “Back when they were renovating the Student Union, how do you think a sushi restaurant got on campus? Do you really think that Food and Dining services thought that up all by themselves? Ha!” Mann sneered. “The cats were behind it all. They planted subliminal messages around campus for

months leading up to that decision, just so when all was said and done, they could get their claws on the fish scraps.” Mann declined to offer evidence for his claim but continued anyway. “‘Oh, well that’s not so bad, Wilson,’ I hear you saying. ‘I like sushi too.’ But it’s so much more than sushi!” he went on. “The cats are also trying to optimize their cuteness to keep you distracted so you miss more of your lectures, fail your courses and have to stay at TU longer! All so they can further reap the benefits of your tuition and feast on your trash! Can’t you see it?!” Further pressed for proof, Mann relented, offering, “Look, I haven’t actually seen their secret ceremonies, but that’s just because they’re too smart to be caught. But the signs are everywhere!” Mann explained that the cats worship squares because they symbolize stability and the material plane, something that, as greedy little creatures, they pine for. “And what do you see everywhere you look in TU?” he added, “That’s right. Squares! All the buildings have facades of sandstone SQUARES. All of the buildings are blocky, like SQUARES. For God’s sake, the entire of city of Tulsa is even divided into SQUARES! They’ve been here since the beginning! Plotting their rise to power in the background of this university’s — this whole city’s history! And I’m the only one to see them for who they truly are!” Mann suggests that the cats be overthrown and kicked out of the city forever. “We cannot sit idly by while these damn cats try to control our lives. Fight back, TU. Fight back!”

Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them The R&B singer wins a Nobel Prize, Fields Medal and the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement award. Brennen Gray Wanted Despacito to win In light of Bruno Mars picking up a completely deserved six Grammys last week, the world needs to know a few more recent awards Mars has received. For example, many would argue that he was even more of a shoo-in for his 2017 Nobel Prize for physics than for his Grammy for best album. His work in constructing the perfect model of the atom equals the impact in the science community as “24K Magic” had in music. “Honestly, I don’t think Bruno Mars even knows what an atom is,” said a representative from the Royal Swedish Academy of Scientists, “but frankly we figured we would give it to him.” “24K Magic” shook the music world by making a very ingenious choice to be objectively bad. In comparison, Kendrick La-

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mar’s breakthrough album “Humble” simply accomplished too much. Not to mention “24K Magic” fit the category for Best R&B album way better than anything Kendrick Lamar has written. Moving to “That’s What I Like,” Mars deserves the Grammys for this gem more than anything. “Despacito” held Billboard’s No. 1 spot for a measly 16 weeks, tied for the longest in history, compared to “That’s What I Like” holding it for an extraordinary one week. “That’s What I Like” won best R&B song and song of the year. As both award the songwriting specifically, the American public cheered in agreement with Mars’s lyricism. Every heart in America melts when he sings, “Second verse for the hustlas, gangstas, bad bitches and ya ugly ass friends.” Speaking of respectful references to women, Mars also received the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement Award. Mars fit the bill for this award so well, many in the Women’s Caucus for Art thought they should rename the award after him. “He is as much of a woman and feminist as he is an R&B artist,” said a representative from the caucus. “And besides, his pro-

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The Collegian is the student newspaper of the University of Tulsa. It is distributed Mondays during the fall and spring semesters, except during holidays and final exam weeks. The University of Tulsa does not discriminate on the basis of personal status or group characteristics including but not limited to the classes protected under federal and state law. Inquiries regarding implementation of this policy may be addressed to the Office of Human Resources, 800 South Tucker Drive, Tulsa, Oklahoma 74104-9700, (918)631-2616. Requests for accomodation of disabilities may be addressed to the university’s 504 Coordinator, Dr. Tawny Rigsby, (918)631-3814. To ensure availability of an interpeter, five to seven days notice is needed; 48 hours is recommended for all other accomodations. Advertising Policy: Advertising appearing in this publication does not imply approval or endorsement by the University of Tulsa or the Collegian for the products or services advertised. For advertising information, email the Collegian at advertising@tucollegian.org. The deadline for advertising is noon on the Friday proir to publication. Letter Policy: Letters to the editor must be less than 500 words and can be sent to tucollegian@tucollegian.org. Under no circumstances will anonymous letters be published. The name of the person submitting the letter must be published with the letter. We reserve the right to edit or reject all letters. The deadline for letters is 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to publication. Editing Policy: The Collegian reserves the right to edit all copy submitted by all writers. This editing may take place in many forms, including grammar corrections, changes in paragraph structure or even the addition or removal of sections of content. Editorial Policy: Columnists are solely responsible for the content of their columns. Opinions expressed in columns may not represent the opions of the Collegian staff, the administrative policies of the University of Tulsa, the views of the student body or our advertisers.

feminized ideals were evident in his music.” Mars makes his music videos filled with women to increase their employment opportunities. He even makes sure to brag in his lyrics about how many women he has. Last but not least, Mars will receive the 2018 Fields Medal for his work in mathematics. Given that it is only awarded every four years, this award nearly overshadows Mars’s GRAMMY night.

Super blue blood moon not even in its final form.

“We awarded him the medal prematurely because we wanted to make sure 2018 kept sucking,” said committee president Shigefumi Mori. The award will be bestowed to Mars in August. As Mars rakes in the awards, the world can only wonder what to expect next. He may sure enough run for president, and once he is elected, the humble little people of the world can bask in his well-earned success.

graphic by Adam Lux

Super blue blood moon rituals discovered Researchers detail ancient blood moon rituals completed by past cultures. Conner Maggio Moon Truther Anthropologists have discovered images depicted in ancient Mayan temples, and as everyone knows, the Mayans knew everything about space and the future. The images depicted several ways in which the moon had transformed based on completing very specific rituals during the super blue blood moon. Researchers have concluded that the moon has many forms that were unlocked by ancient peoples, ranging from big and powerful, to really big and really powerful. The researchers had written that they discovered these rituals through a whole assortment of trials, during which many lives were lost. And for some reason they stole the Declaration of Independence, for reasons they still have not clarified. The least powerful transformations had the easiest-to-perform ceremonies. If all of the world’s people were to shout compliments to the moon, the moon would transform into a “super blue friend moon,” retaining all of the same qualities but just feeling really good about its friends. And also, it would be pink, the color of friendship. On the other hand, if the world’s people were to

shout mean things, it would transform into a “super blue moon 2,” which is like a normal super blue moon but sadder. The next set of transformations were harder to perform and required greater effort from the ancient people. These included the “super blue blood bro moon dude,” which can be activated by coating the moon in protein powder, causing the moon to get super sick biceps, but as a tradeoff the moon will not stop talking about its workout routine. There was also the “super spirit bomb blood moon” that requires earthlings to give it some of their energy. But all forms of energy transfer to the moon are inefficient, and it won’t take batteries. And seeing as how it was the past, they had not invented spaceships, and waiting for an alien craft to arrive took several hours. Final transformations were historically some of the most powerful, excluding the “super blue blood moon 4,” which is no longer canon and therefore does not count. The second most powerful was the “super blue blood moon super blue” (SBBMSB for short), which amplified the moon’s power 100-fold. This ritual required five people to agree that “Dragon Ball” super totally is not a way to exploit nostalgia for profit. The final and most powerful moon is the “super blue blood Tsuki: ZERO/ Season Two: Hyper Edition,” which can be achieved by everyone in the world holding hands and saying, “Subs not dubs” “Subs not dubs.”

The State-Run Media

5 February 2018

the

State-Run media Just so you know, this is Satire.

Cleveland Indians to replace Chief Wahoo with more racist logo

Fans speculate over what the baseball team’s new, even more racist, logo will be. Brennen Gray Really hopes you realize this is satire

A student walking out of the Chick-Fil-A bathroom.

graphic by Madeline Woods

What students really do in on-campus bathrooms Get the most out of your bathroom visits across campus by thinking outside the stall. Raven Fawcett Just wants to cry in peace Oliphant, third floor: cry. The cleaning staff never disturb you; they’ll only give you a half-hearted glance and leave you in peace. The emptiness plus the warmth from the windows makes you feel like you’re cocooned with only the weight of your stress to keep you company. Plus, there’s a couch just down the hall for your post-cry nap. The Student Union, by Chick-fil-A: drugs, maybe. It always smells faintly gross, there are loud noises from the pipes and the lights are dim. There are a weird number of stalls considering how little it’s used, so you’re always guaranteed a modicum of privacy and no lines (of people, at least). It gives off the same vibes as a mid-level gas station in a flyover state that’s 30 miles away from any other human-made structure. No one is here to interrupt your bad decisions. Chapman, second floor: survive a zombie apocalypse. The two sets of doors when you walk in make an excellent choke point, even if you have little room to maneuver. The faucets don’t work super well, but cleanliness probably isn’t your first priority

if you’re trying to re-kill the undead anyway. The general sense of despair will fit the apocalypse aesthetic perfectly. Keplinger Hall, any floor: get in a fight with your mother over the phone. The bad acoustics give you a reason to hang up if things get too heated. And if you want to continue the shouting match? Even better. No one in Kep is going to stop or interact with you. You’re free to drag out all of your messy family drama for as long as you need. Hardesty Hall, Holmes Center: have a panic attack. Sure, it’ll be messy, and you’ll embarrass yourself in front of all the professionals that are coming and going, but really, they’ve probably done it too. Go for it. Clutch at your chest and realize these people are who you’re going to be in a couple of years. Succumb to the existential dread. You’re doing them a favor by panicking, because they can’t be so obvious about their mental breakdowns anymore. McFarlin Library, lower level, just across from the stairs: all the embarrassing things you want to do in a public restroom but are too awkward to do. You can check your teeth, sit and browse on your phone for an unreasonable amount of time, make sure your fly isn’t down or that you aren’t sweating through your shirt in the mirror. It’s poorly-lit, so even your reflection can’t judge you too harshly. Plus, the signs about not putting your food in the sink are sarcastic, and there’s a picture of an owl, so the bathroom’s slightly-chaotic energy will match yours. That’s just synergy.

“The general sense of despair will fit the apocalypse aesthetic perfectly.”

People have long worried that the infamous Chief Wahoo is too politically correct. The Indians General Manager is finally changing this. “We need to step up the racism around here,” he said. “I mean, we barely offend 10 percent of the population. We receive maybe a dozen emails a day about our mascot if we’re lucky. We want full-scale Twitter wars!” The original logo was drawn in 1947. The name Chief Wahoo came from a totally good-natured comic strip that celebrated Native American stereotypes. In 1950, during the golden age of progressive America, the press first associated it with an Indians pitcher. By 1952, the press attached the moniker to the logo. The Indians’s GM also commented on their competition. “The Redskins have been outdoing us for years, and I don’t care if they are in the NBA, NHL or whatever the Mexican sport is with the ball … we need to be the best franchise we can, period.” Speculation has already started among sports fans over what the new logo will be. Some local Clevelanders have expressed interest in possibly renaming it “Chief Indians-Are-Bad,” or perhaps “Chief WantsHis-land-Back.” Some people have expressed interest in mocking other minorities. African-Ameri-

cans, Jews, Asians, and the other races all wait in anticipation to see if they will be lucky enough to be a caricature on a whiteguy’s sleeve. “There’s a lot out there, man,” said Alex King of the Indians’s marketing and strategy department. “We should expand our borders to other races too! Uh, I mean figurative borders anyway. We still need to build Trump’s wall.” In spite of all this, many doubt the mascot would change races because it might mean they would have to change the name. Some say the team’s owner already shot down the idea of changing it to please fans. “‘Cleveland Jews’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it,” said a fan. Many ideas have been circulating for how to keep the smiling Indian but with a fresh twist — a full portrait of him drinking alcohol on top of a casino, or perhaps an action shot of him shooting a bow and arrow at our beloved military. Others claim the Indians logo will change to a modern Indian scalping a helpless white child in front of his teepee made from oil derricks. Representatives from the Indians have long denied that they meant to degrade Native people because it would degrade their team. This accurate and modern representation would still be imposing and regal. The National Congress of American Indians gave their thoughts on the change as well. “This is just the kind of shit the sports industry would pull,” said Jefferson Keel, NCAI president. “It goes against everything we have worked for.” As the time-honored logo fades into memory, hardcore fans can eagerly await the unveiling of a brand-new logo.

I wanted to show you a photo of the new logo but it was deemed inappropriate.

graphic by Adam Lux

New TU weekly email greeted with excitement Most rejoice but some complain as TU launches new weekly email “A Look at TU Last Week.” Thomas von Borstel Waits in anticipation for emails A video released and obtained by The State-Run Media last weekend shows TU football players chanting, “New! Email! New! Email! New email!” The clip, while brief, sums up the state the university was in after the news broke. Word has spread quickly of the new addition to the university’s captivating weekly emails. “A Look at TU Last Week” will remind students of the events that they missed last week. Preceding the previous favorite of students, “TU Events This Week,” “TU Last Week” will attempt to garner the same hype that its predecessor has achieved during the reign of the Supreme Email Lord Clancy. After attempting to get an audience with

the Supreme Email Lord, an email was received titled, “A Message from President Clancy.” The email did not pertain to our question. Instead, an associate interviewed students in the ACSU. “Oh. My. God. A new email! Yeah, I am soooo excited! It’s not every week we get a new email!” said a freshman business major. “Fuck yeah, brother! I’ll drink to that!

swered one overly-excited student in a blue polo. “I believe the most important thing that this university has provided for me during my time as a student is the multitudinous emails about events I will never attend! It puts joy in my heart to open my inbox to see the thousands of unread emails that I am far too lazy to delete,” continued the long-winded student. “Just seeing all of the

“Hey bartend, Smirnoffs for the whole hut!” Hey, bartend, Smirnoffs for the whole hut!” exclaimed a student who could easily be mistaken for a 40-year-old. “I just work here, I don’t have an email,” said the woman you could’ve sworn was 17. “As a University Ambassador, it is my duty to inform prospective students about the resources the school provides,” an-

opportunities that I have at this university makes me feel so involved.” “A Look at TU Last Week” will be the capstone of emails at the university, serving as not only a source of shame and regret for students who fail to attend its increasingly-exciting events but also a tool for social change. The community leaders of TU

hope that guilt will be the driving force for improving student body cohesiveness and school spirit. In addition, the new weekly email will have an “Unsubscribe” button. A new student group on campus is lobbying for the removal of the “Unsubscribe” buttons from the emails. The group believes that “Information is power” and “The masses must be informed.” Their main philosophy is that if the crowd does not inform themselves, they must subsequently be informed by spurious emails. They appear to have garnered quite a large amount of support, attracting 10 likes on their Facebook page. A subset of students wish for fewer emails. This taboo group has been openly persecuted by the majority of students, and here at The State-Run Media, we urge students to speak out against this hate group. If there is any information pertaining to malicious activities associated with fewer weekly emails, please contact Campus Security immediately.