TU Football is back, p. 2 Tulsa Zoo vaccinating animals, p. 4 Biden clinging to American exceptionalism, p. 5 “The Inheritance Games” book review, p. Politicians7scrambling after Queen’s death, p. 8
of hype surrounding the Golden Hurricane leading up to the 2022 season. Not only are they coming off a season where they went on a 3-Game winning streak in order to
While it was a devastating loss for a team that has had so many positives leading up to the season, the goals for the team are still there, a Conference Championship and a Bowl Game.
The Collegian: 2 Sports September 12, 2022
courtesy
On Monday night, Hurricane Stadium was brimming with anticipation for a fierce ly competitive clash of 918 rivals. While there was more than enough ferocity to go around, hope of a competitive match proved early on to be forlorn. After an even opening five minutes, some quick link up play be tween Mitchell Cashion and Alex Meinhard sent the Tulsa fullback streaking away down the left-hand side with crossing options in the center. The defensive reaction from Oral Roberts University would set the tone for the rest of the game and gift wrap Tulsa a welcome early advantage. After Golden Eagles’ captain and senior defender whiffed on a halfhearted attempt to foul Cashion, ORU sophomore, Joel Quashie made up for his teammate’s lack of conviction in one fell, shambolic swoop. Darting back at full pelt to close Cashion down, Quashie abandoned all sense of reason at the crucial moment. The midfielder launched himself into Cashion with two feet leading the way, missing the ball completely and giving the referee no other choice but to send him off. Perhaps it could be justified by an untamed rush of adrenaline to the head, but it was a textbook red card offense and was just the beginning of a rivalry match riddled with recklessness.Itwas10 minutes after going a man down that the Golden Eagles unsurprisingly went a goal down. An out-swinging corner kick from Tom Protzek pinballed around the six-yard box until Wes Bottenburg simply ran into the ball and opened the scoring. An essential part of the standard protocol when facing a superior opponent with 10 men is to refrain from making any rash challenges
Tulsa Football had its first regular sea son game this past Saturday as they traveled to Laramie, Wyoming to face the University of Wyoming Cowboys. There has been a lot
Tulsa Football starts the season in Wyoming Sports writer Joe McCurdy covers TU’s first game of the 2022 season.
JacksonvilleFootballState6:00p.m.W @FallGreenGolfWaveClassicNewOrleansAllDayW @FallGreenGolfWaveClassicNewOrleansAllDay Volleyball@Baylor4:00p.m. McNeeseVolleyballState@Waco10:00a.m. W 7:00ORUSoccerp.m. courtesy @TulsaMSoccer
leading scorer in 2021, Alex Meinhard dis patched the penalty with ease to notch his second goal of the season and double Tul sa’sWithlead. 70 minutes to play and the game all but gone, the sensible course of action is to shut up shop on the attacking front, defend for your life and take the 2-0 loss. This was the 918 Derby however, and the Golden Eagles’ pride would not allow them to succumb to the trappings of conventional wisdom. For it was just seconds after go ing 2-0 down that ORU’s first half display was summed up in a sequence of comical
Soccer analyst Ryan Shumaker offers a glimpse of TU’s match against ORU.
A big part of Tulsa’s offense in 2021 was the run game, with coach Phillip Montgom ery going with a “running back by commit tee” type offense. While losing the 5th lead ing rusher in Tulsa Football history Shamari Brooks, there was still Deneric Prince and Anthony Watkins returning for the 2022 season both of which shared the backfield with Brooks last season. So it was quite a surprise when both Prince and Watkins were not on the depth chart for the Week 1 game. The loss of these two players was crucial as the rushing attack against Wyoming just wasn’t there, as Tulsa only rushed for 61 to tal yards compared to Wyoming’s 143 total yards. On top of the lack of rushing, the Oline for Tulsa was composed of players that didn’t start a game the previous season.
finish the season 6-6, becoming bowl eli gible and winning the Myrtle Beach Bowl, Tulsa’s first bowl win since 2016. On top of ending on a high in 2021, the 2022 season sees many big names return, one of which is star wide receiver, Keylon Stokes. The lead ing wideout for three straight seasons (1820), Stokes missed the majority of the 2021 season due to a torn quad. Coming back for his 6th season as a Golden Hurricane meant another weapon for starting Quarterback Davis Brin. Brin, going into his 2nd year as Tulsa’s starting QB has proven he can lead a team to success, and with offensive returners like Juan-Carlos Santana, Deneric Prince and Ethan Hall, Tulsa is in a posi tion to build off of the success they had in the back half of the 2021 season. It all starts withAfterWyoming.getting off to a bad start with a fumbled snap returned for a touchdown, the offense really began to click through the air. Brin finished the game with a career-best 460 passing yards and 3 touchdowns on 30/52 from the field, connecting with Stokes, San tana, and Malachi Jones on his 3 touchdown passes. All three receivers caught for over 100 yards with Kentucky transfer Isiah Epps barely missing out on being the fourth with 79 yards on 4 receptions, it’s clear our pass ing attack wasn’t an issue.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday 13 14 15 1712 16 Sept. 12 - Sept. 18 18 none
W 7:00TempleSoccerp.m. SamVolleyballHouston@Waco5:00p.m.MSoccer@FIU6:00p.m.
petulance from their captains. Senior mid fielder Josseylyn Petel was booked for tack ling Meinhard from behind and offered no protest as he was fully aware of his guilt. However, his fellow captain, Quaynor who had just been cautioned for the foul on Hen ry-Scott in the box decided to appeal the uncontroversial decision. The referee im mediately brandished a second yellow for Quaynor, reducing ORU to nine men just 25 minutes into the game. The game’s first half saw eight bookings total and while the sec ond half was no more competitive, the ag gression continued, and Tulsa doubled their goalTwotally.substitutes were the standouts of the second half for the Golden Hurricane. Striker Austin Schweinert and left back Gustaf “Goose” Rosengren were thorns in the side of the nine-man opposition and both got themselves on the scoresheet. Sch weinert took his goal cleverly. The ball was awkwardly beneath him, so he simply din ked it into the top corner for Tulsa’s third. Just after the hour mark, Schweinert laid the ball off for the overlapping Rosengren who passed it into the far corner to deal the fi nal blow to an already battered Oral Roberts side.Aside from the entertainment value of the fouls and sending offs, the win brings more confidence to the Golden Hurricane as they prepare to host third ranked Kentucky on September 11th in what will be their first real test of the season.
Sloppy plays and inexperienced play ers were eventually Tulsa’s downfall as they lost in double overtime, 37-40, after a shanked kick from Zach Long closed out hope for the Golden Hurricane, which con tinues the streak as Tulsa has yet to win a Season opener on the road since 2009.
that could draw additional heat from the of ficial. However, the ORU men elected to stick to their guns and double down on the approach that saw them reduce 10 men in the first place. As the wild tackles and des perate dives continued, scoring chances be gan to come at a steady rate for the Golden Hurricane. The two trends aligned in the 21st minute as Malik Henry-Scott attempted to get his head on a cross and met the rising foot of ORU’s Eugene Quaynor. The referee awarded a penalty for Quaynor’s ridicu lous attempt at a clearance and cautioned the defender for his dangerous play. Tulsa’s
Tulsa brushes aside cross-town rival on Twitter @TulsaFootball on Twitter
Sports writer DJ Turner provides an NFL off-season summary and expectations for the arriving season.
this season. You also have star players like Khalil Mack going to the San Diego Char gers, Davante Adams going to the Las Vegas Raiders, and Matt Ryan leaving the Falcons and going to the Indianapolis Colts.
This off-season really set the tone for how the beginning of football season will go and with so many questions about who is going to do what, and how well they will do it. The NFL comes right out of the gate swinging, with so many marquee matchups that it just makes you confused as to who you want to watch. Wilson and the Bron cos start off against his former team the Seahawks, Patrick Mahomes and the offen sively dynamic Kansas City Chiefs face off against the star-studded Arizona Cardinals, and (my favorite) the Dallas Cowboys play the unretired renowned Tom Brady and his Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
remain a separate entity. This was their first Open Cup final and win. They are coached by Oscar Pareja (who has now claimed his second Open cup title as coach), and led by players like Facundo Torres, Benji Michel, and Pedro Gallese. At the time of writing, Orlando sits in 5th in the eastern conference, four points safe in a playoff spot with six games toThego. Sacramento Republic have had an interesting history in US soccer. Founded in 2012 and instantly being one of the best supported teams in USL, they have made the postseason in all but the 2021 campaign. A team that has as of right now had an MLS bid accepted only for it to fall apart, they’ve still got Major League aspira
The game, held at Orlando’s home field of Exploria Stadium, was actually fairly competitive for a majority of the time, with Orlando and Sacramento keeping things fairly even in the first half with neither side really getting good chances on goal. The 2nd half is where the game really picked up. Still quite early, Sacramento would nearly find a goal in the 72’ minute with a lovely
There are many big games that are lurk ing in our near future and those are accom panied by the many players who have long waited for their chance at becoming a NFL player. You got rookies who come from college where they were star players and now have to work their way up the depth chart again, you have late round picks who nobody knows that are longing to make a name for themselves, and you have vets and returners who are ready to come back and attempt to play in and win the one game ev erybody in the NFL dreams of playing: The Superbowl. Right now, all the hopes and dreams of every NFL team are up (exclud ing the Detroit Lions) because this is a new season with new people and a new attitude. The ball has begun to roll and there is no stopping it now. This will be a long hard season not only for the players and teams, but for the fans as well. Fantasy football has begun and players have been selected, so when mid-season hits with all the injuries, suspensions and frustration people’s expec tations will constantly be shifting, but let’s not think about that yet. Right now, let’s just enjoy the simplicity of the National Football League reuniting with the world again, be cause lord knows we missed it.
courtesy @NFL on Twitter
Major League Soccer, through Orlando City SC, has somewhat disappointingly triumphed once again in dominant fash ion against the Division 2 United Soccer League’s Sacramento Republic. With a final score of 3-0 many neutral fans walked away disappointed, hoping that this would be the moment a lower league independent team could give MLS a real bloody nose, with the last time a non-MLS team won coming 23 years ago in the form of the now defunct Rochester Rhinos. What Sacramento was able to do should still be considered as a great achievement. Being the first non- first division team in the finals in 14 years is nothing to laugh at.
This off-season really set the tone for how the beginning of football season will go and with so many questions about who is going to do what, and how well they will do it. The NFL comes right out of the gate swinging, with so many marquee matchups
The Collegian: 3SportsSeptember 12, 2022
NFL starting up again
courtesy @opencup on Twitter
The Lamar Hunt US Open Cup has a long and storied history within the American soccer landscape, being one of the few constants throughout the changing landscape over the past 100+ years of soccer dating back to 1913. MLS entered the open cup in 1996, its debut season. Since then it has only lost one cup, that being the loss to the aforementioned Rochester Rhinos in 1999. This was also the year that the Cup was named after Lamar Hunt, considered somewhat a pioneer of the game in Ameri ca, and one of the catalysts for bringing the World Cup to the US in 1994 and helping create MLS in 1996. Now having passed away, his two sons control FC Dallas of the MLS. The previous two iterations of the Cup in 2020 and 2021 were canceled due to the pandemic.Orlando City came into this game the obvious favorites, being the strong side financially and statistically. Formed in 2015 as an expansion side, they carry the name of the old OCSC from the USL, but technically
tions and are currently working towards a larger stadium in Sacramento. Under a fairly new manager in Mark Briggs, and led by the likes of defender Keko, midfielder Rodrigo Lopez, and attackers Maalique Foster and striker Douglas Martinez have remained a fairly strong team and look poised to make the postseason in USL once again.
Sports writer Zach Sabel covers the conclusion of the knockout cup between finalists Orlando City SC and Sacramento Republic FC.
Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup outcome
There are many big games that are lurk ing in our near future and those are accom panied by the many players who have long waited for their chance at becoming a NFL player. You got rookies who come from college where they were star players and now have to work their way up the depth chart again, you have late round picks who nobody knows that are longing to make a name for themselves, and you have vets and returners who are ready to come back and attempt to play in and win the one game ev erybody in the NFL dreams of playing: The Superbowl. Right now, all the hopes and dreams of every NFL team are up (exclud ing the Detroit Lions) because this is a new season with new people and a new attitude. The ball has begun to roll and there is no stopping it now. This will be a long hard season not only for the players and teams, but for the fans as well. Fantasy football has begun and players have been selected, so when mid-season hits with all the injuries, suspensions and frustration people’s expec tations will constantly be shifting, but let’s not think about that yet. Right now, let’s just enjoy the simplicity of the National Football League reuniting with the world again, be cause lord knows we missed it.
The NFL action kicked back up again this week and for NFL fans, and it’s been a long wait. With unexpected trades in the off-season with deals like Russel Wil son’s $296 million contract with the Den ver Broncos, who in this same off-season were bought out by Rob Walton, heir to the founder of Walmart, and the Walton-Penner Group association for $4.65 billion. Tyreek Hill also was offered a huge deal this offseason guaranteeing $72.2 million with a four-year $120 million deal playing for the
Miami Dolphins this season. You also have star players like Khalil Mack going to the San Diego Chargers, Davante Adams going to the Las Vegas Raiders, and Matt Ryan leaving the Falcons and going to the India napolis Colts.
The NFL action kicked back up again this week and for NFL fans, and it’s been a long wait. With unexpected trades in the offseason with deals like Russel Wilson’s $296 million contract with the Denver Broncos, who in this same off-season were bought out by Rob Walton, heir to the founder of Walmart, and the Walton-Penner Group as sociation for $4.65 billion. Tyreek Hill also was offered a huge deal this off-season guar anteeing $72.2 million with a four-year $120 million deal playing for the Miami Dolphins
that it just makes you confused as to who you want to watch. Wilson and the Bron cos start off against his former team the Seahawks, Patrick Mahomes and the offen sively dynamic Kansas City Chiefs face off against the star-studded Arizona Cardinals, and (my favorite) the Dallas Cowboys play the unretired renowned Tom Brady and his Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
ball sent into the box only for it to be expert ly parried away by OCSC keeper Gallese. Sacramento would have another chance quickly after that would also be expertly saved by Gallese. Orlando would finally break the deadlock and begin dismantling Sacramento in the 75’ minute off of a bad Sacramento pass at the back, a great Michel pass and an amazing Torres strike from the top of the 18-yard box. In the 78’ minute Orlando would launch a beautiful ball over the top to Michel who would get around the Sacramento keeper who came off his line only for a defender to slide in a foul Michel in the box, giving up a penaltyTorres would easily convert. The final deathblow would come in the 96’ minute in extra time with a beautiful Michel run through the middle of the Sacramento defense and a great shot slotted into the lower left corner. The game would end mere minutes later to the jubila tion of Orlando and the heartbreak of Sacra mento.The absolute heartbreak of this dream run ending in defeat was evident on the faces of the Sacramento players, some of them falling to the field, unable to hold back the sheer emotion of the moment. The MLS would now be able to once again claim it self undisputed and miles ahead of USL. Hopefully, its hegemony can be broken in next year’s edition of the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup. Fans of soccer can take solace in the fact this Open Cup, after two years of pandemic and hardship, had the largest pool of participants in the tournament’s modern history with 103 clubs participating and 71 of those being professional. US soccer ap pears to be on a healthy trajectory for years to come.
You’ve heard of the cat condos, now get ready for the TU Roomba. As stu dents returned this year, they quickly noticed some new characters on campus.
about the newest TU members, going so far as to debate what name they should receive. Other students are less happy, with some now being wary of picnicking on the Old and New U. Students report that they are concerned about whether the Turf-Mowers can sense people or not, and wonder what would happen if someone were resting on a picnic blan
courtesy Tulsa Zoo
A jaguar lounges on the rocks at the Tulsa Zoo
with the red Tulsa flag roving slowly in randomized patterns.
A new TU Roomba mows the lawn.
photo by Mary Lickona
The University of Tulsa’s new campus initiatives leave students with mixed feelings.
ket and one of the mowers came upon them. Other students argue that the Turf-Mowers do a bad job of mowing, as there are uneven tufts of grass and one can clearly see the paths the TurfMowersCurrenttake.students aren’t the only ones humming about the Turf-Mowers too. Alumni have expressed their interest, but also their concern. Similarly to some current students, they are worried about the efficiency and safety of the TurfMowers. One TU alum, Anna Cheshire, who returned to TU over the Labor Day weekend, expressed about the TurfMowers:“Asan alumni it was very shocking to come back to campus and see huge, ugly lawn mowers on both lawns. They ruin the beauty of campus and feel like a hazard to students lounging on the lawns or playing sports. They seem to mow in no logical path and leave marks on the grass that look like a toddler was scribbling on them…. I can’t imagine that they are saving us enough money to be worth the hassle.”
“This new technological addition ...has been met with a mixture of enjoyment and displeasure.”
A grizzly bear in the wild stands in a stream.
Some may ask, “Why now?” The time to vaccinate animals is now because humans were the world’s first priority for vaccinations. The first human vaccine was released in Dec. 2020. Now that the vac cine for humans has been available and
courtesy Wikimedia Commons
improved for almost two years, animals are the next step. Dr. Cathy Knupp, Execu tive Vice President of Zoetis states, “The idea of “one health” – that animal health is linked to public health – has never been more compelling than it is today as the CO VID-19 pandemic continues to disrupt the world with tragic rates of human infection, serious illness and death, along with eco nomic devastation.”
the entire planet, even beyond humans. En suring the safety of animals, staff and cus tomers from Covid, and all other zoonotic diseases, is noteworthy of the Tulsa Zoo.
Animal Health and Senior Staff Veterinar ian Dr. Kay Backues explains, “We’re of fering the vaccine as an additional form of preventative care, further protecting the animals in our care, including many spe cies which are endangered.” The zoo has also taken other precautions to protect their animals from Covid-19 over the past two years. The zoo mandated masks for their employees who work closely with the ani mals. Also, they installed more hand wash ing and sanitizing stations throughout the zoo. They recommend all visitors follow CDC guidelines, but there is currently no mask mandate at the Tulsa Zoo for custom ers.
As with many of TU’s initiatives in recent years, there have been a lot of unexpected reactions from students and alumni with the integration of the TurfMowers, or the TU Roombas. As TU continues the initiative to beautify cam pus through automated means, time will tell how the other, non-robotic members of campus welcome and adapt to it.
Now that a vaccince has been developed for animals, the Tulsa Zoo is vaccinating their more atrisk animals against the disease.
This new technological addition to TU has been met with a mixture of enjoyment and displeasure. Some stu dents find the Turf-Mowers quirky and charming, with one student creating an instagram account dedicated to the Turf-Mowers where students can joke
The Tulsa Zoo plans to have all of their selected animals vaccinated by the end of September. They will each acquire two doses, three weeks apart. The animals are being closely observed to guarantee their health throughout the process. Director of
Mary Lickona Business & Adverting Manager University of Tusla’s beautification, Roomba style
The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted
“The Tulsa Zoo plans to have all of their animals vaccinated by the end of September.”
fectious diseases in the world are zoonotic and at least 75% of emerging infectious diseases have an animal origin.” These statistics signify how keeping animals well and clean keeps the whole world population healthier.
Xayda Alexander Student Writer
The vaccine was developed by Zoetis and was manufactured to be unique to animals. Zoetis is a company dedicated to using science to find new ways to length en the lifespan of animals and increase the quality of their lives. Zoetis’ website says, “Zoetis discovers, develops and manu factures vaccines, medicines, diagnostics and other technologies for companion ani mals and livestock.” Zoetis’ mission and research is helping Tulsa Zoo protect the health of their animals, and all animals around the world.
Not only are humans at risk for catch ing COVID-19, but animals are too. The Tulsa Zoo has begun giving their animals vaccines in order to decrease the risk of them contracting COVID-19 from humans. Some animals are at a higher risk, including tigers, lions, snow leopards, jaguars, bears, chimpanzees and other species.. They will be administering the vaccines in order of which group is at the highest risk, similar to how humans administered the vaccine to the elderly and at-risk population first.
Tulsa Zoo vaccinating animals for COVID-19
The health of animals directly impacts the health of humans. In order to make sure the spread of Covid among all hu mans and animals is as minimal as pos sible, it is important to vaccinate them for zoonotic diseases. Dr. Knupp goes on to say, “According to the World Organiza tion for Animal Health (OIE), 60% of in
NewsThe Collegian: 4 12 September 2022
Over the summer, TU, through Roark Landscaping, enlisted the service of some Turf-Mower 2000’s from ECHO Robotics. These silent, autonomous lawn-mowers, nicknamed the TU Room bas by students, are part of the initiative the University is taking to beautify and improve the Accordingcampus.toECHO Robotics, the Turf-Mower 2000 is a lawn mower that is eco-friendly, energy efficient and, most importantly, quiet. This is an im provement to other mowing services that are a noisy disturbance and an ideal solution for a college campus, especially when students are deep in the throes of studying and classes. The Turf-Mower 2000 is able to mow 6 acres on a single charge and is kept within the boundar ies of its turf by a system of wires that stretch the perimeter of the grass under the Turf-Mower’s charge. Otherwise, the Turf-Mowers have free range over the New and Old U. As one is walking to classes, one can spot the blue machines
Quiet quitting is rarely a wise decision. Its proponents speak to theoretical mental health benefits, however, this only serves as a temporary solution to the stressors that deplete your time and energy. On one hand, it is argued that quiet quitting helps estab lish boundaries and can improve work-life balance by distancing the employee from their work. On the other hand, the unin tended consequences of quiet quitting could become more of an anxiety than the current job someone is unsatisfied with.
President Biden upholds the idea that the U.S. is superior in his recent speech, which is the root of the problem.
courtesy wikimedia commons
The wider internet has recently come to the conclusion that “quiet quitting” is a cure-all for workplace stressors. The solu tion for exhausted and overworked employ ees is to abandon the concept of doing your best in the workplace, and instead do the bare minimum of what the job requires. This system claims mental health benefits and a revolution for the greater work industry as a whole, but when I first heard the term, I was skeptical. Over the course of my research, I have determined that quiet quitting is not the path to work-life balance. In actuality, quiet quitting can not only deplete your mental health, but will also fail to improve work environments, and can actually dam age your career path to a dangerous degree.
courtesy wikipedia
“It doesn’t take a genius to see that crimes were committed at Mar-a-Lago ...”
Dylan Moucka Student Writer
First of all, quiet quitting is not ideal for anyone who wants to move up in their place of work. Employers, when looking to promote someone, will not only look for someone who is successfully completing their tasks but also going above and beyond the requirements of their station. This is be cause if you are promoted, you will have a job that requires more effort from you than your current one does. This means that the employer may want to see if you are capa ble of working above your station in order to see if you are promotion material. There fore, individuals who do not go above their hired duties will fail to be promoted and will not receive additional rewards for their
the idea of America being exceptional in fa vor of a view of America as the victim of today’s world. For Trump, America is not better than any other country through its de mocracy, freedom, opportunities or any of its other values. Quite the opposite: America is better than other nations when it quells competition in order to project American superiority. The irony of Biden finally ac knowledging the failings of liberal democ racy is that Trump has been speaking of it for years, except Trump speaks about it as the one who has actively weakened demo cratic
Biden embraces exceptionalist view of U.S.
The truth is, quiet quitting weakens job security in an already unstable economic era. Many economists already believe we are either going into or are in the midst of another recession. 49 macroeconomists were surveyed by Financial Times in col laboration with the Initiative on Global Markets, and 68% of them were recorded as predicting the next recession happening as early as 2023. This means it may become difficult to find and keep jobs in the near fu ture. Just as the great resignation swept the nation during the prime of the pandemic, the great firing may just as soon be upon the corporate world.
You have probably heard about the in vestigations into former President Donald Trump recently. Hopefully, you’ve heard about the recent FBI raid that uncovered more than 100 classified documents — doc uments which should be held in secure loca tions — which Mar-a-Lago has proved time and time again to not be. Taking classified documents is a felony, according to 18 U.S. Code Section 1924, and carries a prison sentence. It doesn’t take a genius to see that crimes were committed at Mar-a-Lago, and
better. Biden has been careful not to deliver this message so obviously. Instead of speak ing about the glory of American exception alism, he speaks of the soul of the nation. These are not two separate ideas: they are one idea that is being called two different things. Through a strong liberal democracy, according to Biden, America’s soul acts as a unifier of all peoples. This is not a new idea, nor is it unique to America. In other countries where nationalism is prevalent, such as Russia, the idea of a national soul imagines that one people possess traits that make them superior to other peoples. It is important to realize that exceptionalism of any kind is part of the problem. It is not pos sible to be a solution. Americans are not in herently better than any other people in the world and the situation in America is not going to improve by simply including more people into the myth of a great nation.
Biden upholds this idea of American ex ceptionalism. He espouses that the world needs America as a place to look to for inspiration. This is another myth and it is equally ridiculous. It implies that America is the best country in the world, not based on the merits of its own society, but on the idea that every other society is inferior to Amer ica. To be the best, by definition, means that others have to be worse, but this misses the more significant point that one can always be
President Biden gave his “Battle for the Soul of the Nation” speech on Sept. 1 outside Independence Hall in Philadelphia.
President Biden is correct to acknowl edge that democracy has to be supported in order to survive. This rhetoric is welcome, but unfortunately it falls short of addressing the cause of the problem by merely critiqu ing its outcome. Trump is not just an anoma ly; he is not even unique. Him, his ideas and their popularity are products of the blind ness caused by American exceptionalism, though as Ivan Krastev notes, Trump rejects
Trump’s Mar-a-Lago scandal uncovers potential treason
If, in fact, it turns out the Trump family was selling top secret documents to foreign actors, they are all certainly guilty of trea son. Trump and his allies have committed crimes right out in the open, leaving the imagination to wonder what awful sins they took the care to hide. No one should ever complain about Hillary Clinton’s emails again.
cover pages and headings of most of these documents. One document in particular, towards the bottom of the photo, front and center, appears to be a list of spies. How would a list of American spies help a former president, you ask? Well, that list of spies would certainly benefit enemies of the Unit ed States, and therefore be a hot commodity among those groups. Read: he was likely selling them. Back in October 2021, the CIA sent a secret message to all of its intelli gence outposts warning of a drastic increase in agent deaths, particularly in Russia and the Middle East—areas where Trump made a specific point to ally. Coincidentally, it has since been revealed Russia was sponsoring a bounty on dead American forces. While no one in the intelligence community has officially put forth the theory, it is not un likely that Trump would remain in contact with leaders of these nations following his presidency, especially since he was so puz zlingly interested in their allyship.
Carter continues this train of thought saying “If we are not meeting those expectations, we are the first on the chopping block.”
This new trend in the workplace is allegedly a solution to burnout.
This means quiet quitting could become dangerous for not only younger workers in the industry (as fresh hires are often the first to go when there is cause for layoff), but also for historically marginalized com munities in the workforce, such as racially diverse groups, women and members of the LGBTQ+ community. People who have had to work hard to land a job should not give in so easily to the allure of quiet quitting.
might be risky given the firm’s lack of ex perience. This occurred approximately six months after the Trump administration left the White House and a few months before the CIA started warning of high casualties. It seems to me that the Saudi crown prince might have gotten more out of this deal than a possible return on investment.
not just that awful choice in carpet. Despite the ever-growing and overwhelming pile of evidence against the former president, no meaningful moves are being made to pros ecute him for crimes related to his actions during his presidency. This seems particu larly ridiculous in the face of all the, shall we say, funny things that keep happening as a possible result of him stealing said docu ments.Following the raid, the Department of Justice published a picture of some of the documents uncovered, of course with the sensitive information obscured. What was available to all eyes, however, were the
Victoria Grossman Student Writer
Another interesting layer here is the sus picious investment Trump’s son-in-law, Jar ed Kushner, received from the Saudi gov ernment. Following his departure as White House advisor (assuming, of course, he did anything else but draw a paycheck), Kush ner formed Affinity Partners, a private eq uity firm, and was hard up for cash funding. The Saudi crown prince, known far and wide for flagrant human rights violations, wrote Kushner a $2 billion check despite warnings from government aides that this investment
Quiet quitting, as we have already seen, can lead to job loss which can also lead to a decline in mental health as a result. The only thing more stressful than having a tax ing job is losing it and having to find a new way to keep a roof over your head. Before deciding quiet quitting is the best course of action, speak with your employer or man ager and address your concerns. Working yourself to the bone and not being correctly compensated is never ideal, so bring up concerns and boundaries with your boss. It might help you create a better workplace en vironment not just for yourself, but for your fellow employees. Ask for that promotion or raise first. You shouldn’t sacrifice your time for unfair pay, but we all must be mindful of what’s going on in America and play the game to an extent. Workers who are burnt out may use quiet quitting to cope with a stressful work environment. Still, they may find that this will eventually lead to quitting their job or worse unless employers better address workplace challenges as well as working conditions for their employees.
“Quiet quitting” is not the cure to your career problems
My fellow Americans — the words that have opened President Biden’s most recent speech and many others in American his tory — carry a sentiment that unifies Ameri cans across the country. It is an apt start to a speech about the periling threats facing our democracy. Former President Trump and his followers seek to divide and destroy the country’s democratic institutions because, as Biden notes, they gauge their success on the failings of others. By highlighting the fragility of democracy, Biden breaks with his predecessors in favor of a more realis tic, yet eerily somber, view of the present world. For Biden, unification in the present allows for the hope of a better future. To ac complish this, Biden needs to acknowledge that merely refuting Trump is not enough. In order to truly make a difference, the rheto ric would need to address the underlying
Theinstitutions.prosperity of the 20th century led many Americans to embrace the idea that their nation is greater than other nations. The 20th century, however, was not as kind to other parts of the world. As a result of the death and destruction brought by the two world wars, many European countries viewed nationalism as the scourge that brought ruin to their societies. It was ubiqui tously viewed as a dangerous ideology and had actively been avoided by the very same countries who supported its beliefs in the pre-war years. In the United States, though, the Second World War solidified American ideas of their own supremacy. By helping to rebuild Europe after both world wars, the United States emerged as a phoenix out of the ashes of total war.
Over 100 classified documents were found at Donald Trump’s country club. Some documents could implicate him in treason.
Taking classified documents is a felony, but Trump has not yet been prosecuted.
problems that gave rise to Trump and have subsequently allowed for Trumpism to be a popular form of discontent for many Ameri cans.After the First World War, Stefan Zweig noted that The Age of Security in which he grew up had ended. He did not live to see the world after the Second World War, but secu rity ultimately returned in the West, only to be destroyed again by the beginning of the next century. This time, though, it was not a result of war, but a mixture of negligent practices and a willingness to accept myths as reality. Oftentimes, these two went hand in hand. The idea that liberal democracy is the best of all political systems and has no viable alternatives was made popular after the collapse of the Soviet Union in the early 1990s. Western leaders and thinkers propa gated this idea, especially to developing countries. The former communist countries of Eastern Europe, many emerging nations in the Middle East and elsewhere have ad opted democratic systems in the last thirty years. Notably, though, many of these de mocracies have collapsed into authoritari anism or at least are much less democratic than they used to be. This is the context in which Biden is referring when he says, “For a long time we have told ourselves Ameri can democracy is guaranteed, but it is not. We have to defend it, protect it, stand up for it, each and every one of us.”
September 12, 2022 The Collegian: 5Commentary
Take for example marginalized commu nities of workers who have historically had difficulty getting into their industry. “Unfor tunately in corporate America minorities are held to a different standard. We are looked at differently, there is unconscious bias still, and so we have to go above and beyond to be successful.” These are the words of cor porate mentorship expert Jha’nee Carter, owner of The HRQueen, whose video on the issue warned minorities about quiet quitting.
Leslie Graff Student Writer
work. Not only does quiet quitting impede job advancement, but it can also hinder your ability to keep your job at all.
Taylor’s newest album “Midnights” will be released on Oct. 21, 2022 at midnight.
How one film became one of the hottest summer releases
Shelby Hiens Commentary Editor
Have you ever been to a rural area such as a farmland or ranch and gotten the feel ing of something not seeming right, some thing that could be related to extraterrestrial beings? If you have, you should check out this 2022 horror film written and directed by Jordan Peele. Even if you have not had that feeling before, I highly suggest checking out this Film. “Nope” stars Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer as siblings who experi ence paranormal activities relating to their family’sJordanranch.Peele does a brilliant job of driv ing a plot with aspects of upholding a lega cy, family and persistence using horror, ac tion and even some comedy. The film has a unique presentation as it uses chapter titles to divide its story in several parts,which seemed to have a different vibe for each chapter. The casting of this film is also well done. Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer have good chemistry which show the view ers the sibling bond these two characters share. Other notable performances include Steven Yeun, Brandon Perea and even a guest appearance from Keith David. Anoth er impressive area of this film was the im plementation of visual effects as they were used a perfect amount to show key areas of
Guy Broom Student Writer
there is wondering what scandal might oc cur from Taylor’s new album. “Midnights” is available for preorder on Taylor’s website and can be accessed on all streaming plat forms on October 21.
Is there a media/pop culture/enter tainment/music side to you that students wouldn’t expect?
Taylor Swift’s big story behind the release date to her next album.
What’s your favorite Tulsa restaurant? Do you have any food/restaurant rou tines?
Initially, it wasn’t too bad. I was making a profit and already had systems in place to get clients. However, things changed once I started adding employees. It can be way more stressful to own a business than work as a solo freelancer since others rely on you so much for their livelihood. But when you get a big team win, it’s also way more fun and rewarding!
courtesy @JordanPeele on Twitteris the newest release from director Jordan Peele.
Tulsa a few years ago for his Goodbye Yel low Brick Road tour.
Schitt’s Creek, The IT Crowd, and The Office are my go-tos after a long day.
I tend to gravitate toward more dark top ics in books and movies, like true crime. My favorite laugh-out-loud TV shows are The IT Crowd and Schitt’s Creek.
“There’s nothing better than sitting down with a huge cup of tea and a book!”
What’s reading like for you? Is there a specific setting, mood, drink set-up?
However, one of the most important con spiracies regards the dates Taylor is releas ing “Midnights.” Concerning the date of the album announcement, let’s travel back to the 2009 VMAs. Thirteen years ago, almost to the day, an infamous VMA scandal oc curred. Taylor had just received her award for “Best Video by a Female Artist,” when Kanye West stormed the stage and ruined her speech, claiming Beyonce should have won the award. This pop culture moment will live on forever and was the start of one of the biggest internet scandals of all time. All of this to say, Swift is an expert at come backs, and the fact that she announced her new album thirteen years after the Kanye incident certainly is no coincidence. In re gards to the actual release date for “Mid nights,” there is almost too much drama to cover in one article. To put it simply, Oc tober 21 is Kim Kardashian’s birthday It also just so happens to be National Reptile
Is there a movie/show that you always return to?
Courtesy @taylorswift13 on Twitter
courtesy Dr. Williams
I think all undergrads should take the time to read something they like to remind them selves that reading can be fun. For example, the first thing I read after finishing my Ph.D. was The Hunger Games trilogy. Sometimes you just have to ignore the canon.
There’s nothing better than sitting down with a huge cup of tea and a book! These days, though, I usually only have time to read before bed, in which case it’s just me with a reading light trying to get in as much as I can before I fall asleep (I usually only make it a chapter or two).
The devil works hard, but Taylor Swift works harder
I played the viola through high school and was in the pit orchestra for Grease [sic] at my high school. I’m relearning it after 20 years now that my kids are both in orches tra. Also, Elton John is my all-time favorite musician. I have seen him in concert twice; once with Billy Joel in Detroit and then in
One thing, however, that did not seem right with this film was how it cut to vari ous times so effortlessly. How one moment you would be watching a UFO go by, and the next you would be seeing a sit-com birthday gone horribly wrong, and it never really takes time to address this and forces the viewers to do a little work by linking up these plot details, which may seem like a good or bad thing depending on what you want to expect from a movie. Another flaw is that the ending just seems random as it felt like the film should have ended at some point before and it felt like it was dragging it on for extra time.
Nope
Social media is already covering all of the conspiracy theories regarding Taylor’s new album. Taylor is well known for her lucky number thirteen, which is coincidentally the same number as the number of tracks on her upcoming album “Midnights”.
Hannah Doom Student Writer
My favorite book is Paradise by Toni Morrison. It’s a bit heavy and dark, so I rec ommend it if you have the time to really let it sit with you when you’re done.
But if you see this as a flaw, do not let it prevent you from seeing this film. I guar antee you will find it to be as good as I say. Yeah, the random cuts can be a little annoy ing as at first they seem to not make sense to the overall plot, or the ending came out of heavy left field. But I still enjoyed my time watching it from start to finish.
it and did not seem to be forced at any time. Overall, these things make this a good film that I highly suggest that you go out and see.
In only two years, Swift has released a whopping total of four albums. This in
What’s your favorite book? What book would you say all undergrads need to read before they graduate?
The Collegian: 6 September 12, 2022Variety
cludes two new albums, “Folklore” and “Evermore,” one of which won a Grammy for “Album of the Year”. The third and fourth albums are reproductions of her ear lier albums, “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)” and “Red (Taylor’s Version)”. Taylor works hard and consistently dominates the charts.
See Me After Class is a weekly col umn where a different professor reveals their variety favorites.
“This is a collection of music written in the middle of the night, a journey through ter rors and sweet dreams,” Taylor writes. She states that this album is “for all of us who have tossed and turned and decided to keep the lanterns lit and go searching - hoping that just maybe, when the clock strikes twelve.. we’ll meet ourselves”. The image, already being investigated for easter eggs by myself and other fans, exhibits Swift hunched over in a chair in a softly lit room, with one hand resting on her head and the other loosely holding a telephone.
Once again, Taylor Swift is taking the in ternet by storm with the announcement of her tenth album. At the VMAs on Sunday, Aug. 28, 2022 Taylor (drunkenly, according to fan speculation) announced the release of her new album “Midnights,” which will be released on October 21. The world is buzz ing with excitement and preparing itself for whatever Taylor has up her sleeve this time.
Taylor’s album announcement has shocked fans all over the world and has ev eryone counting down the days until mid night on October 21. Anticipation is high, as
Dr. Kate Williams is an adjunct profes sor of composition who received her B.A. from Oakland University, M.D. from East ern Michigan University and Ph.D from TU. She worked her way from freelancer to business owner, founding her very own company People First Content in 2018. Wil liams is passionate about content creation and strategy for small businesses. Before she was creating companies, Williams cofounded her high school’s first women’s wa ter polo team.
What was it like to make the leap from freelancer to business owner?
On August 28, Taylor posted the an nouncement on her Instagram page. The al bum contains thirteen tracks; each track is described as a “sleepless night” in her life.
A few months ago, I would have said Laffa, but they closed down! I live in Bro ken Arrow, so we frequent Dos Bandidos in the Rose District. It’s my family’s go-to for good tacos and Mexican fries.
Awareness Day. Or for pop culture lovers, National Snake Day.
What was the last book/movie/show that you actually found funny?
Overall, “Nope” is the best film I have seen this year so far. Its story was a little confusing at the beginning, but by the end of the film, and with a little thinking, it be came cohesive, enjoyable and made com plete sense. Again, I highly suggest that you go out and see this film, because you will not regret it if you do.
A Review of Nope (2022)
“No one in this show feels like a good person, yet they’re all still likable enough for one to remain interested and invested, which is usually a hard balance to strike in a show like this.”
Music and Mayhem with Maddie contin ues with Philadelphia’s Roger Harvey. Har vey’s first two albums, “Twelve Houses” and “Two Coyotes,” show his journey as an artist, working his way through the genres of punk, alt-rock and indie. In 2019, he found his niche in the sweet twang of folk and country music with the perfect marriage of the best aspects of each genre.
Based on the synopsis given on the back cover, I was expecting a modern day “Hun ger Games”-esque fight for the fortune, with plenty of romance and plot twists along the way.In reality, the story fell a little flat. In my opinion, this is first due to the fact that the “game” is less of a physical high stakes fight and more of a battle of wits. The dan ger and competition simply did not reach the level described on the cover. Secondly, the novel was lacking in characterization.
Based on these descriptions, I was ex tremely excited to read this book. I am typically not the biggest fan of mystery nov
Anna Lackner Student Writer
“House of the Dragon” takes different path as a fantasy series
“GameBarnes
Roger Harvey Interview
“The Inheritance Games” is the first book of a three-part series.
So what does music mean to Roger Harvey? It’s a chance to make a commu nity. Though he grew up around the punk scene, he doesn’t limit himself to the title of “punk-rocker,” nor does he simply call him self a country singer because he’s from rural Pennsylvania and likes to sing about it. “I think the only thing I’ve ever truly related to is being an outsider but over the years I’ve met & built a network of so many beautiful outsiders I don’t know if I can even call my self an outsider anymore,” he says, “I guess, I’m an outsider but I’m not alone anymore.”
In the past, country and punk music have received a lot of backlash for their exclusiv ity, meaning you had to fit into extremely constrictive molds largely excluding wom en, POC and LGBTQ+ individuals. While
“Life on the road ain’t for everyone but for me it’s where I’ve always felt the most at home,” he says.
In this weekly column, our managing editor Maddie Walters talks to musi cians about their craft.
“Game of Thrones” is back with arguably the biggest show on streaming right now, next to the new “Lord of The Rings” show. This new show, titled “House of The Drag on,” is a prequel to the original series, taking place 172 years before the birth of Daenerys Targaryen, whom we all know as having been played by Emilia Clark in the original
The Collegian: 7September 12, 2022 Variety
courtesy wikimedia commons
itself much less with adventures and much more with intrigue and political conflict. And these themes are present from the very opening scene of the show, with the heir of the previous king being chosen by votes from the lords. No one in this show feels like a good person, yet they’re all still lik able enough for one to remain interested and invested, which is usually a hard balance to strike in a show like this. Even though
One of his newest releases, “What a Weird Hill to Die On,” is from the perspec tive of a Capitol Insurrection participant’s progression from an idle supporter to par
If you’re looking for a way to support musicians during this time, consider be coming a patreon to Roger Harvey’s “Re cord Club” on Patreon at the following link: https://www.patreon.com/rogerharvey
What separates a fantasy series like “House of The Dragon” from something like “Lord of The Rings” is that it concerns
of Thrones” Prequel is the show to watch and heres why.
The landscapes and scenery are not as nice as other shows right now, the costumes look great and the fight scenes are very fun and well choreographed. This show being the “House of the Dragon,” there are plenty of dragons who feature in the early epi sodes, and they look awesome. They feature as the grand imposing figures they should be, and when they show up in tense scenes, you can see everyone get even more tense or nervous, knowing the power that these drag ons are capable of. The intrigue and loom ing threat of war by the end of episode 2 has me very excited for the rest of the season, which is something I can’t say for a lot of TV recently. I look forward to the rest of the season and hopefully as good as season 2 that has already been announced and is in the works.
He even visited Guthrie’s hometown, Okemah, to pay respects to the late song writer’s memorial in Highland Cemetery. “Okemah was a trip. The folks I met in town were happy to talk about Woody with me. I hope to have the opportunity to play the Woody Guthrie Festival someday there.” He also explored Pampa, where Guthrie lived and worked as a teenager be fore being displaced by the Dust Bowl. “ He credits this journey with connecting him even closer to Guthrie.
taking in the riot after the results of the 2020 election. The song ends with the participant sitting in his federal jail cell with a refrain of the chorus, “Have you considered maybe you’ve been fooled by the people you swore were telling the truth, even though they’ve never done nothing for you.”
Upon returning to Texas, his friend Simon Flory talked about Harvey’s anomalous life, saying “You know Roger, most people don’t do this kinda thing with their lives.” Harvey takes this in his stride. “I’ve been out here for about 25 years chasing Woody Guthrie’s ghost.”During those 25 years, Harvey has moreor-less stayed on the road touring the U.S. and even internationally. “Life on the road ain’t for everyone but for me it’s where I’ve always felt the most at home,” he says. Recently, he started a viral Twitter thread encouraging other musicians to share their wildest tour stories. When asked about this conversation and why so many unbeliev able things happen to musicians, he says, “I always say that the more you look the more
els; however, this one was presented more through the lens of a deadly competition.
heir Daemon Targaryen, played by Matt Smith, and the King’s Daughter Rhaenyra, played by Emma D’Arcy. All of the actors play their part well, but there is one char acter, a prostitute to whom Daemon takes a liking, who is played with this weird pseu do-French accent even though the actress is British in real life. It’s off-putting and very hard to understand, but luckily she does not have more than a few scenes of speaking parts. I did have to rewind her scenes and turn on captions to really understand what she was saying.
a distraction from the back to school stress, I would recommend this novel. And, I as sure you, the second book in the Inheritance Games Trilogy is better than the first one.
With the release of the third and final book in the Inheritance Games Series, “The Final Gambit,” on August 30, I believe it is an appropriate time to reflect back on the book that began it all for the sake of new readers looking to dive into the now com pleted trilogy. I first learned of the “Inheri tance Games” (book #1 in the “Inheritance Games” trilogy) via Tiktok. The author, and fellow readers, describe the book as a sort of YA “Da Vinci Code,” full of intrigue, double crossing and charming billionaires.
courtesy wikimedia commons “House of the Dragon” takes place before the events of “Game of Thrones”
the punk scene has made progress in regards to these issues, it seems like country music is still finding its way down this long road.
Zach Sabel Student Writer
All in all, I would rate the “Inheritance Games” three out of five stars. While this book is not earth shattering, it is a fun, light and entertaining read. If you are looking for
you’re bound to see. Something about the road either invites chaos or just makes it more visible.”
The book is centered around seventeen year-old Avery Kylie Grambs (take notice for all you anagram lovers) who lives out of her car, struggling to escape her circum stances. Her entire life is uprooted, howev er, when she is notified that she has inher ited the entire (or technically nearly-entire) fortune of a Texas billionaire. The strangest part? She has no idea who the man was. To gether, with the help of his four recently dis inherited and devastating handsome grand sons, Avery works to uncover the truth.
A personal review of the YA novel The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn
there are dragons and mysterious monsters to the north (as we learned in the original series and that this series references early), it’s a very grounded fantasy setting, one that could be comparable to places like feu dal England with the brutality of its kings supposedly anointed by God. They are not afraid to get what they want and are willing to spill blood for it.
One of Harvey’s first and biggest he roes is Woody Guthrie, who has inspired him time and time again. In fact, his new
series. The series is based on the novel “Fire & Blood” by George R.R. Martin, so fans need not worry about it taking as many lib erties as the later season of GoT did. It cov ers the beginning of the downfall of house Targaryen and has a large and well-rounded cast of characters. The two principal char acters are King Viserys I Targaryen, played by Paddy Considine, his brother and initial
“The Inheritance Games:” A risky gamble that doesn’t entirely pay off
Frankly, several of the characters were liv ing stereotypes and had no dimension, color or quirks. Grayson’s whole personality was tied up in being the serious, morose, harsh brother with a secret soft spot for his fam ily and eventually Avery. Jameson, on the other hand, was the stereotypical wild one, who hid his true emotions by chasing thrills and layering on sarcasm. Both of them were simply too reminiscent of Wattpad love interests for me to connect or relate to their characters in any way. The youngest brother, in contrast, was superbly written. Xander’s character alone makes the trilogy worth a read. He is one of the most lovable characters I have encountered in a long time and is the perfect mix between the kindness of Baymax and the mischief of Mushu. In terms of plot, the story moves fairly quickly and the mystery, while somewhat surpris ing, is still easy to follow.
Since then, he has released 12 folk and country singles, tackling important politi cal issues like immigration and non-violent drug offenses with concept songs such as “Two Coyotes” and “Last Prisoner.” What’s his inspiration for songs like this, you ask? Understanding. “Songs like these are im portant to me because I’m trying to make sense of life just like everybody else,” Har vey says, “Music to me is about together ness; capturing a feeling, a moment in time &/or making our own sense out of life.”
est record will consist of rewritten versions of traditional folk music with a large num ber of those songs being Woody Guthrie’s. During the recording of this album in Fort Worth, TX, Harvey made sure to visit the Woody Guthrie Center here in Tulsa. “I’ve always wanted to see the Archives & the Woody Guthrie Center. I was glad to see them carrying on the legacy of its namesake through community work in Tulsa to devel op a space of inclusivity,” he says.
To him, music is love. He writes songs because he has a love for people. “[Mu sic] has brought me together with so many people & I love that because being together with people gives me hope & there are so many more I’ve yet to meet,” he says can didly.Since the pandemic started, DIY musi cians like Harvey have taken a hit as they have been unable to go out on the road to perform and gain new listeners. Harvey voices the struggle, “For those of us that work in music, we’ve watched an already difficult industry turn into a nearly impos sible one. As artists, we have had to adapt & diversify how we see & do the work.”
Roger Harvey doesn’t deny the not-so-great aspects of the genre. “Country music as an industry has a racist & exclusive past that cannot be ignored or rewritten but there are so many of us, who have long been con sidered outsiders, that are participating & in turn building new communities that are more interesting, more inclusive & in my opinion better,” he says, “I’m honored to be connected to so many people who are shar ing a different story to the one that the in dustry of country music has been selling & reselling for the past hundred years.”
As a way of funding his next full length al bum, Harvey started a Patreon called “Re cord Club” where supporters will receive 7” vinyls quarterly, digital downloads and a monthly review. Other ways of supporting musicians in this transition period is by buy ing advance tickets for concerts, purchasing merch online or at shows and simply shar ing music on social media.
Maddie Walters Managing Editor
Zach Short
to de-age in physical features. Party guests took the gesture well, laughing and jok ingly pretending to throttle him.
Reports place Vermont senator Bernard Sanders at no fewer than 14 of Burlington’s hottest clubs and bars, ingesting cocaine, a Schedule II narcotic in U.S. law, off the arse of a dancer at two separate locations.
She continued “for too long the benefits of cronyism-based ‘networking’ have only helped blonde, white women. I want my kids to grow up in a world where even rich white brunette women can fully reap the benefits from joining a wealth-gap preserv ing organization such as this.” This speech inspired many students, especially rich white women who frequently tell lo-income POC women they don’t know the pain of being a woman over five-foot five, and then immediately ask to touch their hair. We in terviewed women on campus to get a feel for the student reaction to the speech.
In wake of her majesty’s passing, many American politicians have felt the reality of their own potential demise. Efforts therein have grown split between attempts to pro long further the unholy accumulation of years known only to U.S. politicians and to abstain from the stoic denial of pleasureseeking.Senator Dianne Feinstein of California was spotted attending a black mass mere hours after reports of the Queen’s death made headlines last Thursday. Feinstein, 89, had reportedly split ties with all church es of the occult as far back as 2018, when she won a fifth full senatorial term. The state’s senior senator slaughtered as many as five goats by sundown, one for each ver tex of the standard sacrificial pentagram, and local media outlets reported specula tion that she offered another soul to her dark lord in the form of a virgin, purchased with the aid of a little-known subsidy of the Biden administration. Feinstein has at this time already requested papers for a reelec tion bid in 2024, at which point she would be 91 years of age.
graphic by Kyle Garrison
Many republicans have also begun be having differently with the sober reminder of mortality, perhaps most notably among them Mitch McConnell. Multiple reports place him at a costume party in Harrison, Arkansas on Friday, Sept. 9. In a room where all other guests had donned sheet ghost costumes, the Kentucky senator had instead opted to break etiquette, arriving in a therapeutic mud mask that completely covered his face, presumably in an attempt
S tate-Run the media
The State-Run Media September 12, 2022
graphicaltogether.byKyle
“What? Why are you interviewing me? I am way too poor for them to want me in their sororities. Also, what makes you think I want to? There are much cheaper ways to get body-image issues. I can just talk to my grandma, and she’ll do it for free.”
phobic, internalized-misogytransphobic, nistic and classist isn’t enough, sororities must also be blonde!” It remains to be seen, however, the relative success of the protest. The desperate, whiny cries from the frater nities on campus may have not reached many ears as it was staged on frat row and most normal people rationally avoid that area entirely.
the news himself. In an impromptu meet ing, Biden revealed to his advisers a new policy of nonrecognition for King Charles III, reportedly saying that “with the last vestiges of colonialism behind us, nothing stands in the way of Ireland uniting under a single flag.”
The daughter of a local oil tycoon ex plained that, while this is a step in the right direction, it is important to see these issues through an intersectional lens, “as a person struggling with affluenza, and as a member of the brunettx community, I have a unique perspective on this and I will not be silenced by some poor blonde woman who only owns two houses.” A lower income student expressed her confusion at the statement,
Garrison
Everyone’s favorite Editor-inChief and Nicki Minaj fan.
Numerous governmental officials in the United States have begun acting upon impulse in a moment paralysing the U.K.
TU Panhellenic Council pledges to work towards a future with more hair color diversity, fraternities protest.
Her Majesty was survived by her four loving children/third cousins, once removed.
And many other politicians from the former colonies have made similar moves.
Article republished with permission of The Telegraph. is known for its incredible diversity, especially in its Greek life.
Ever working towards a progressive fu ture, the Notorious RBG-pin-wearing chair woman of the Panhellenic council made a public statement on the trajectory of future sorority demographic makeups. Her speech highlighted that “it’s not the hair color that matters, it’s whether or not you dress and act in the mold that our proud sorority wants, just like MLK said. Immaculate vibes.”
Sororities pledge to better support brunettxs
For President Biden himself, however, the day proved one of good humour. White House staff saw the president cracking jokes about the deceased Anglican and in quiring as to who currently qualified in the Stuart line of succession. The commanderin-chief likewise changed his tie from or ange to green immediately upon hearing
member was quoted to say, “as a response we are going to need to be even whiter... I mean blonder with our recruitment pro cess.”After much drunken deliberation, the In terfraternity Council decided they had no choice but to reallocate all philanthropic funds to the protest effort. They planned and orchestrated a picketing/hazing event this past Saturday, in which they dressed the freshmen recruits in blonde wigs and bikinis and gave them signs with phrases like, “this is what my sororities look like,” “being brunette is gay” or “racist, homo
Iowa senator Chuck Grassley and Missouri senator Roy Blunt confessed feelings for one another and have scheduled to depart on a European tour together Wednesday, Sept. 14, visiting Paris, Amsterdam, Rome and Athens. And finally, former president Donald Trump spent the week with family, sharing with one another what stories and secrets had evaded the hands of federal in vestigators.
17 different girls at a middle school near Fort Walton Beach in Florida also report ed the district’s U.S. representative Matt Gaetz had redownloaded the messaging app Kik shortly after the Queen’s passing. Spectators have argued the move aligned only coincidentally with the tragic news, as Gaetz himself is much younger than other panicked officials. Others more willing to subscribe to the link have argued age might not matter and that his crisis does not nec essarily constitute a purely existential one, that he may instead have taken the moment as a reminder of seeking the pleasures that make him feel young.
Kyle Garrison Deemed a “bitch-ass” by the fraternity recruitment table at the activities fair.
Queen’s death jarring for U.S. politicians
Not all student demographics supported this diversity initiative. A representative from the Interfraternity Council expressed concern at the direction of the Panhellenic council, “I am just concerned that this will tarnish their proud history as all-blonde or ganizations meant to provide spouses for frat members.” Another, less sober council
At press time, KA leadership suggests a new compromise involving pointed white hoods meant to hide hair
TU
ding dong the witch is dead