What Slaughter in the Garden of Beauty—!

What Slaughter in the Garden of Beauty—! Chad Morgan

What Slaughter in the Garden of Beauty—!

Evanston, IL

Chad Morgan

Copyright © 2022 Chad Morgan

Published by TriQuarterly Department of English Northwestern University 1897 Sheridan Rd. University Hall 215, Evanston, IL 60208

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced for any reason or by any means without written permission excepting brief passages for reviewing or educational purposes, provided the Author and Publisher are acknowledged in the reproduction.

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WHAT SLAUGHTER

He wanted to see the truth, the hour of essential desire and satisfaction! Even at the risk of overdoing devotion, that’s what he wanted.

—Rimbaud, Illuminations

First Part

—1—

I like to wear something slinky, maybe satin, maybe let a spaghetti strap down over a shoulder & wink—!

And to be undressed—!!

Isn’t it delicious—!!!

I like to make things up & dazzle everyone at a party— —2—

You like to wager your hat as a delicacy when you’re making some minuscule point—

But you’ve never been dying of consumption & promised to a duke you don’t love—!! —3—

I’m prickly, Baby, like a mace, but at least I’m sincere—

Look, I’ve put on my most conservative suit to meet your mom and dad—!

Now let’s really overdo it, like deleting all your contacts from the cloud & hurling your phone into Lake Michigan—!!

Am I talking like I’m in a movie again, Sweetheart—?

You must find me so predictable, like Hollywood or a mayoral scandal—

Butter me up now, Handsome! When the heat comes on I want me a-sizzle—! —5—

Take it easy, Babycakes! You should know by now how I tend to confuse friction for meaning—!!

Yet sometimes the inevitable can be thrilling, like flames licking along a gas trail toward a pile of explosives— —6—

Don’t expect me to be clever like a lawyer or cunning like a detective—!

I just want your sympathy like a troubled young starlet—!! —7—

I like deciding in an instant how I feel about you & haggling over the price of something—

It’s like a bed filthy with one-hundred dollar bills or a melody I can sing along to—

WHAT SLAUGHTER

Is it that I’m too edacious, Darling, like a baby vampire fanging his first neck—?

I can’t ever quite determine how you feel about me & you love that—

I have to say, I love it, too, Baby! You’re so enigmatic, like conceptual art or an alien language—! —9—

I like gesturing with my cocktail & making pronouncements at dinner—

Honey, I’m just like an awards show when you haven’t seen the movies—!! —10—

Maybe I’ll be ghastly first thing in the morning & blame it on not having had any coffee—

Look, Studmuffin: don’t make me come over there & treat you like my husband will be home any second—!!

Oh, my radio is bleak this evening—!!!

Turn it up, won’t you, Duckie? I like to feel the treble in my alloy fillings—!!

Please, let’s not waste any more time on the potatoes—!!! —12—

I do like to hold a grudge against someone & order extravagantly—

& you, Beloved—

You are like a man’s authoritative voice rising to calm a public commotion—

WHAT SLAUGHTER

Second Part

The garden lake is manmade but you can hardly tell, can you, they’ve done such credible work—

The swans & lily pads’ve been imported, of course, but the ducks came on their own—

Quick, let’s be like falling down in the brush here & grappling with each other’s clothes—!!

I want you, Lover, like I’ve just arrived in the city with only my childhood dreams & ambitions—! —14—

I like it in a movie when someone switches bodies with someone else—

But you’re a little like grasping an ice cube—!!! —15—

Give me one of those cigarettes, Darling, I’ve been a nun all month—!

You kiss me & you kiss your iguana—

WHAT SLAUGHTER

What I like most about you is your demeanor—

Well, it’s a little brackish, I should say, but not without its darlingnesses—

Kid, you’re exactly like tearing your shirt in distress & bellowing your fiancé’s name—!

—17—

Pour us another, Angel, & tell me again how you got those scars—

Please, we don’t have to go into the bank with our pistols aimed & the getaway car waiting outside—

Instead, can’t we be like meeting by moonlight to kiss in a phone booth? I’ll wear my leather beret & my Timbs by Manolo Blahnik—!!

—18—

I like overdrawing my bank account & buying something frivolous—

You must try it, Darling, it’s divine—!

It’s better than talking to each other about our sweaters or our summer plans like students learning a foreign language—!

You like me to be pleasing, like a movie starring Meg Ryan—

But you don’t know how it feels when the entire town blames you for the bird attacks—!! —20—

Do be mindful of the statues, won’t you? Our artists have worked quite tirelessly & for absolutely no pay—

This one, of course, is my favorite— Look! Its face betrays nothing & is turned slightly toward the arborvitae—!! —21—

You don’t have to be so rigid & unyielding, like the law or a jar of pickles—

You’re just like it’s 2008 & all I can think about’s Josh Hartnett—!!

Tell me if I’m losing you now, Baby, like the original cut of Cukor’s A Star is Born—

WHAT SLAUGHTER

There you go again, seducing everyone in all directions—!

Well, you’re a real heartbreaker, in fact—

You’re classic, like Double Indemnity— —23—

Must you be so intriguing, Handsome—?

I swear, you’re just like a grisly murder in a sleepy seaside town—

I love you like I’m walking backward into a room full of my enemies, each one with a knife—!

Third Part

Now I’ll be repulsive but subtle, like a tongue piercing or a caterpillar with fur—

Then we’ll see if you’re still smiling, you Dummy, like a scorned ex-wife at her ex-husband’s funeral—!!

Why can’t you just adore me, Sweetheart, like how you adore the Sox—?! —25—

Don’t bother, Babydoll, I know you’re all the same, like a flock of flamingos at the zoo—

I can’t help it if the conspiracy theorist is obsessed with me & if his theories turn out to be true—!! —26—

I like eating my fill & not smiling in photographs. It’s like a bed you’ve never slept in or guessing the location of the secret sample sale—

I know what boys like you always say:

I swear I didn’t come to steal your cattle—!!

You think I’m too volatile when it’s late & I don’t know where you are—

Honey, I’m deranged but perfectly harmless, like a pop song or a movie musical—!

Let’s do the one about the street trade who married well & became an action figure—

—28—

You absolute maniac—!!

Oh, how I love you in your aviators, your bandana & True Religions, grinning like the backup dancer who married the pop star—!!!

—29—

Let’s go looking for the paparazzi, Darling—

Then we’ll be insouciant, like driving very fast & crashing your Mercedes—!!

—30—

Don’t ask me to be brave, like distracting the T-Rex while you rescue the children—

Come on over here & love me, Angel, like making sure I eat right & get the proper amount of sleep—!

WHAT SLAUGHTER

Remember when we deviated from the garden path? How we eluded our chaperones in the boxwood maze—?

Kiss me again, you magnificent scallywag—!!

Or else I may cry & wander the artificial ruins of the artificial abbey— —32—

Turn it off now, Buttercup, that song’s so happy it’s making me depressed—

Don’t you ever get this empty, Darling, like a VHS sleeve missing its tape—??

Oh, I’m neurotic like a lion, but you’re incorrigible like Kurt von Trapp—! —33—

Oh, Sugar, you’re being far too literal—!

I’ll die if you leave me’s just an expression—!!

Come, let’s put on our patent leather shoes & run for office—!!!

I like to break down sobbing against the door & then, in the very next scene, sample the finest fabrics in Marseille & gorge myself on sweets—

Yes, My Pet, that’s right: real diamonds for the dog’s collar & champagne spilled across playing cards—!!

& feathers for my pouf! & pastel-colored birds! Live ones—!!!

Darling, it’s what I like—!!!

WHAT SLAUGHTER

Fourth Part

Don’t look now, Beloved, I’m still dripping & a-tremble from my encounter with the gardener—

You’ve no idea what it’s like, do you, to be trapped in the attic with your asthma & the babysitter who’s trying to kill you—?? —36—

I like it when an actress cuts her hair very short for a role & debuts it on the red carpet—

It’s sad, like reuniting after a very long time or a natural disaster— —37—

Oh, what a tremendous disappointment you’re turning out to be—

You poor, poor thing—

You’re just like a cake that’s slightly undercooked—!

WHAT SLAUGHTER

You want me when I’m behaving myself like a well-trained pet or a loyal housewife when the postman’s due—

Oh, Honey, when you whisper next to my ear like that I feel just like “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey—!

I’m a little like cling wrap, aren’t I? I’m stuck all over you & you see straight through me— —39—

Oh, you’re a real tough guy, aren’t you, coming on like a special report—!! —40—

I’m painting on my cat eyes now & teasing out my hair—

I’ve got the blues again, Baby, I’m just like Yves Klein—!!

You love me & you love Call of Duty—

Let’s have it out then, shall we—?

Is your madness like breaking a tooth on a piece of hard candy—??

Loverboy, my madness is like smashing through a brick wall to pour Kool-Aid—!!!

—42—

Standing there in your velour tracksuit, Darling, you do look quite pensive & bombed—

I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be intractable, like the sunset or an heiress in a peasant skirt posing with the poor—

—43—

I like a clarifying shampoo once or twice a month & peach juice running down my arm to my elbow in summer—

It’s heaven, My Love, & I’m just like a little cherub, aren’t I? Here I am, a-tumble with the sheet music, here’s my plump pink bottom, my swinish rolls of flesh, I’m so nubbly & pinchable—!

Swaddle me, Daddy! You’ve got to make me feel perfect like a baby thinks it is—!!

WHAT SLAUGHTER

That’s enough now, Babycakes! Tell me when I’ll have earned you, like a failing grade or a bad reputation—!

Sweetheart, I simply can’t help myself—!!

I love you, I love you, I love you like I’m applauding a posthumous Oscar—!!! —45—

Maybe I’ll get angry & indelicate, like crushing the champagne flute in my hand—

I’m carking, Baby, but you’re knotty, like philosophy or mathematics—!

Honey, you’re making this so hard, like learning to tie your shoes—!!! —46—

I like it when we’re making love & you keep your socks on—

It’s aspirational & dire, like when your boyfriend is the serial murderer—

Let me just smoke this cigarette, Handsome, then I’ll tell you all the juiciest bits, like the director’s cut or an unauthorized biography—

That’s right, Sweet Thing, you’re fucking trash & I’m a God-damned junkyard—!!

God help me, I must be like losing your mind in a pile of minds or waking up on an empty stomach—!

—48—

Then you’ll leave me frazzled & abraded like an old rope or the bathtub after your cleaning lady comes on Wednesdays—

Fine then, Babydoll, let’s be unseemly, like having too many children or watching an adult drink a glass of milk—! —49—

Oh, Loverboy, I’m so certain you’re about to break my heart again—

I’ll forgive you, Beloved, & maybe I do like it, this feeling—

It’s torrid, at least, & immediate, like In the Cut or a painting by Ivan Albright—

WHAT SLAUGHTER

Sweetheart, you’re doing it again—

Is it not enough that I love you like this, like my heart’s playing the right hand of a Liszt concerto & my fin’s splitting into a shiny pair of legs—??

Hurry, Babe! I’m holding the door for you!! It’s raining & there’s nuggets of hail the size of gophers—!!! —51—

I’m sorry, Sugar, I don’t know why I’m like this—

Here I go again, morose in the garden, a-weep behind the topiary tyrannosaur—

Fifth Part

I like it when I’m barely dressed at midnight & I have to come downstairs to open the door for you—

Oh, Honey, my love for you is just obstinate hope & profaned emotion, like falling in love with the man who received your dead husband’s heart—!!

—53—

Yes, Sweetheart, you’re really killing it! You’re just like a rifle fitted with a bump stock—!!

Keep going, Babydoll!!! I like it when the heartbreak comes on like electricity after a power outage—!!!! —54—

Oh, Duckie, aren’t we a fine pair of indolents—

You haven’t been loving me right & I haven’t done a thing about it— —55—

I’m dangling again from the helicopter that’s dangling from the skyscraper very high above the city—

Catch me midair, Goddamnit! I want you to be like saving my life at the last possible second—!!!

My special effects are no longer convincing, no matter how they once impressed you—

I’m just like watching fruit a-vibrate in Jell-O or forgetting to water your plants—

Oh, My Love! You don’t have to be like Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind & just forget all about me—!!

—57—

So it is to be disgrace among the asters then—

Well, fine, I suppose I’ve no choice but to like it—

It’s a bit like keeping a secret grotto full of treasures you’ve pillaged from sunken ships—

—58—

Oh, how the roses are wailing now, all a-gloom & keening along the garden wall—

Or is it just the rats again, rustling the verbena—?

I know, My Love, I’m utterly impossible, like your sobriety or holding your breath underwater for as long as they do in the movies—

WHAT SLAUGHTER

Do I like it too much, Darling—?

Please, don’t be like finding me in the crowd after your wedding just to kiss me goodbye—!!

I know we could still be like fleeing the volcano mere seconds ahead of the pyroclastic flow—!!! —60—

Or have I been too horrid? & speaking entirely from the inside of my feelings—??

You’ll just never understand me, Handsome, not until you’ve become your own doppelgänger scheming to dance your part— —61—

And now, Loverboy? Do you like it—?

Here I am at my desk again, here’s my stack of useless papers, my stupid pens & things—

I’m afraid I’ve mislaid the pages that further explicate the garden, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you—

Chad Morgan

is the author of Chad Morgan & Other Poems. They live in Chicago.