Philander Freshers 2017 - The Phil TCD

333RD SESSION

THE

FRESHERS WEEK 2017

PHILANDER THE ANNUAL MAGAZINE OF THE UNIVERSITY PHILOSOPHICAL SOCIETY

CONN MCCARRICK

PRESIDENT

Hello (it’s me)

Sounds like fun? You’re dead right it does.

Congratulations on getting into Trinity and welcome to the Phil!!

Pop over to our stand in Front Square or in the Phil Conversation Room and sign yourself up.

Membership is 6 euro and lasts for four years. It includes a free goodie bag, lots of candyfloss and popcorn from our conversation room and access to our Pool and Snooker rooms in the GMB!!

I hope you’re all buzzing for the year ahead. We have an absolutely unbelievable year lined up for you here at the Phil so buckle up!!

The Phil is the oldest student society in the world and the largest on campus, with well over 10,000 members. For 333 years we’ve been bringing you world-class debates, inspiring speakers and the best social events – and this year will certainly be no different!!

There’s something for everyone at the Phil: 1.

Come along to our lively Thursday night debates featuring high-profile speakers and controversial topics. These are followed by a FREE reception and night out every week.

2. Do you like meeting famous people? Previous guests at the Phil include: Vice President Joe Biden, Helen Mirren and Martin Scorsese. Phil members get exclusive access to these events.

This year, Mary Berry, Sean Parker and Kristin Chenoweth will address the society, as well as many others. Don’t miss your chance to ask them a question!!

3.

If you want to learn how to debate, we run a Maidens competition for beginners in the first term or come along to our many workshops and public speaking activities, hosted throughout the year.

4.

Do you like to party? Well so do we!! The Phil run absolutely unreal social events during the year, ranging all the way from Club Philth in Freshers Week to mystery tours and Phil Ball. See you on the dance floor!! #GetPhilthy

Joining the Phil was the best decision I ever made in College. It gives you the opportunity to meet incredible people, challenge your opinions and have lots of fun along the way.

Phil members have been working hard all over the summer to put together an incredible year for you and we’re so excited to welcome you all to the Phil this year!!

Favoured by none of the electorate, because there was no election for President, because there were no other candidates, Conn is sure to do a better job than nobody.

To give him credit though, he’s actually responsible for skyrocketing Bank of Ireland to international fame by starring in their acclaimed #MyFirstPlace ad campaign. It just goes to show that truly anything is possible, providing you’re wealthy, male and (some might say) conventionally attractive.

ELIZABETH MACBRIDE Having eliminated all competition for the role through a combination of feminine wiles and psychological warfare, this year’s registrar is Liz MacBride, or ‘Big Lizard’ as she is known to her friends.

REGISTRAR

The main thing you need to know about Liz is that she is Not Like Other Girls, but that’s mostly because Other Girls are more socially adept.

Liz’s main hobbies are avoiding eye contact and pointing out insecurities people didn’t even know they had, so here at the Phil we decided to give her a weekly platform to do just that.

But remember - she’s only joking! Or is she? It’s hard to tell.

HISTORY THE GMB Founded in 1683 by William ‘Skull Crusher’ Molyneux, the University Philosophical Society quickly became the heart of Trinity’s social life. There was a brief hiccup in 1731 when a minor argument broke out between the Junior Dean and two Phil council members, and they decided to do what any normal person would do - calmly talked it out and eventually came to a mutual understanding.

Oh wait. Sorry, I got that wrong - they literally shot the Junior Dean dead. Like, with a gun.

Banter. College thought the Phil needed to get a bit of a grip, so they banned them from campus. Bit dry, but thankfully in 1843, college authorities decided to cut them some slack, and the Phil made a triumphant return after a casual 112 year break. Only this time, armed with the inflated sense of self-importance that only comes from the knowledge that even murder can’t keep you down.

EST. 1683

Thus, the Phil as you know it was born maintaining a pretty good no-killing streak in the years following. Today we continue to be the biggest, baddest, and best society on campus - with illustrious guests, unforgettable nights out, scintillating debate and secret murder plots, there’s really something for everyone here at the Phil!

The Graduates Memorial Building is Phil HQ - and, because most nerds need a place to eat that isn’t an unoccupied bathroom stall, we’ve agreed to let the Hist share it with us.

Just off Front Square, this ominous building will prove to be a beacon of light for you during Freshers Week, and the nonstop flow of food and good vibes will definitely help you settle into college life.

First door on the left is our Conversation Room, where conversations routinely range from the latest Economist article to Kendall Jenner’s latest nipple piercing, all on our outrageously comfy leather sofas. Next door you’ll find the Chamber, home of our Thursday night debates where hundreds gather every week to hear our guests and students give entertaining speeches.

On the second floor is the Bram Stoker room, where many lost and long-forgotten items of clothing from previous council members sit gathering dust; and the pool and snooker rooms, where many a lost and long-forgotten member of Hist committee sits gathering dust.

Pop into the GMB any time during the week and year, because you’re a big college kid now… and college is all about The Phil.

M A I D E N S

VICE-PRESIDENT

H ello t he re !

Now that you’ve gotten into Trinity, all that’s left to do is to join the most inphamous society on campus (and maybe pass your degree, become a better person, make friends, impress your parents and be happy in who you are) but hey let’s start with superficial goals. I’m Maeve, this year’s Vice President and coordinator of all things Fresher. My job basically entails making sure that you guys get on well as part of the Philwhatever that may entail. I’ll be around Front Square during all of Freshers Week so feel free to come on over if you have questions or queries.

Who is Phil and why does he have Maidens?

Maidens is a debating competition for people who have never done college debating - so yes, that means all and only you young freshers. Here at the Phil we pride ourselves on being Modern and Liberal, so get ready for some cool Motions. Maidens takes place over 6 weeks in the first term, culminating in a lavish black tie final - but more on that to come. Loads of rounds, every day mean that everyone can get involved - after all, there’s no better way to make friends than verbally and aggressively asserting your intellectual dominance over your peers.

Not really into dat debate life doe?

That’s cool. Before every Thursday night debate there’s a Freshers mixer with free food and maybe even some soft drinks! Bop along, hang out with your friends or make some new ones, and you might even be inspired to actually come to the debate.

Afterwards, the Phil head out to some of Dublin’s most illustrious venues, where we party the night away until our parents tell us to come home, throw shapes, vogue angles, and don’t let anyone ever tell you the glitter is “too much”, now sissy tha’ walk.

MAEVE CLAFFEY Maeve has everything the Phil looks for in a VP: a winning smile, 150+ likes on her Facebook profilers, and, most importantly, a failed JCR campaign.

That last one is crucial. If Maeve hadn’t suffered a monumental failure in the JCR Presidential election, she never would’ve come to the Phil in a last-ditch effort to attain campus pseudo-relevance. Now she’s Queen of the Freshers, and we couldn’t be happier to be her sloppy seconds. The JCR’s loss is definitely our gain, because Maeve really has it all - well, she has most of it for sure… not enough to be JCR President, but just enough to be Phil VP. Love you Maeve!!

T E R M C A R D

FRESHERS WEEK

WEEK FIVE

THW GET LIT AND RESIT

THB CONSERVATISM IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE LGBT MOVEMENT

You’ve come to college. You succeeded in that all defining success metric that is the Leaving Cert. Now what next. Do you become a library swat, attend your lectures and do all your essays on time without your seventh can of Red Bull at 3AM. Or, do you do college differently? Come down to the GMB on Thursday of Freshers week followed by Club Philth.

WEEK ONE

THB THE REPEAL CAMPAIGN SHOULD REJECT RESPECTABILITY The Repeal campaign has taken Ireland by storm. From the swarm of black jumpers, to the Strike for Repeal and the upcoming referendum, the Repeal campaign has ingrained itself in the Irish psyche. The question that remains: what should this campaign look like? Should the Repeal campaign cater to its critics, should it play by the rules? Or should it say it’s been too long and we’re done asking politely? Which serves the campaign best? Do the onlookers or campaigners matter more?

WEEK TWO

THW WELCOME A UNITED IRELAND The age old question has been brought back into the public eye and it remains as pertinent now as it ever has been. With Britain having voted to leave the European Union, the issue of a border between the North and the South becomes ever more pressing. Should we welcome a United Ireland? Is its reunification inevitable? Or should the North remain separate? How will the people of Northern Ireland respond to the issue now and is violence something we should fear?

WEEK THREE

THW MEET BIGOTRY WITH VIOLENCE With the rise of the neo-Nazis, racial attacks, police brutality and the recent Charlottesville violence, bigotry is ever more a reality for so many individuals. The question is how should they respond.

Should they remain above their attackers, keep the moral highground or should force, to defend oneself be used? We want to discuss whether violence can be ever justified, whether it will work effectively and ask, what should we do in a world of increased hatred. .

WEEK FOUR

THE LIFE RAFT DEBATE: BATTLE OF THE SCIENCES Trinity is drowned! A flood engulf the college. Imagine a life-raft, floating through the flood. There is space for only one onboard. This week, we’ll see a change in the Chamber as lecturers take to the podium to say why they, and their discipline, should get that seat and be saved.

Watch as the social sciences battle it out against the hard sciences. What good is politics if the only people are those on the raft? How useful is chemistry without a lab? See the sciences do battle, as Arts Bulidng smokers are pitted against Hamilton jokers to save their seat on the raft.

Is the LGBT movement just about sexuality and gender or is it more? Is it an idea, a counter-culture, a different type of society and if so what does it look like. Is it a movement that should reject conservatism, as it is oppositional to it? Or perhaps it’s not.

Perhaps the movement and its members are not homogenous. Are the likes of Caitlyn Jenner traitors to their cause or just different to the dominant voice? Should Milo Yianopolous be welcomed as warmly as Ru Paul? This week we discuss the LGBT movement, how it look and what should and should not be included.

WEEK SIX

THW LIVE A LIFE OF LUXURY We live in a world of inequality. A worth of the haves and the have-nots. A world of privilege. To right this wrong, we must ask what can those with wealth and privilege do? Should we give it all up, to help those less fortunate? Should we deny ourselves any enjoyment of life? The question then becomes where to draw the line? Healthcare, education, are these luxuries? Can giving to charity actually make a massive difference and should we not enjoy life to some extent, allow ourselves to take care of ourselves and be selfish?

READING WEEK/SER DEBATE WEEK NINE

THR CELEBRITY INVOLVEMENT IN CHARITABLE WORK Christmas is coming and with it collectors, good causes and celebrity voices talking (and singing) for causes. The question we ask this week is, are they the best person to vocalise an issue. Do celebrities truly understand the trials and tribulations of those they wish to help and does it matter? Perhaps, identity does not matter and what matters more is money and effective fundraising?

But is that even the type of fundraising done by celebrities?

WEEK TEN - MAIDENS FINAL WEEK TWELVE CHRISTMAS PARTY

MARK FINN We have to give Mark credit for being so unashamed about his social climbing. After all, you don’t get to be secretary of the Phil without bursting into the council room at 9am on the Monday morning of Fresher’s Week 2015, breathless and sweaty, demanding to join up.

It all paid off though, and now Mark gets to do glamorous and exciting things like restocking the stationery supply. In a typical week he might buy two, maybe three pens. Sometimes paperclips even make an appearance. Need emergency Tipp Ex? Mark’s got you #sorted. He also plans the Thursday night chamber debates, which are almost as fun as Post-It notes.

S E C R E T A R Y

FRESHERS WEEK

WITH THE PHIL

MONDAY

TUESDAY

THURSDAY

FREE BREAKFAST

FREE BREAKFAST

9AM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

9AM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

FREE BREAKFAST

PAVNIC W/ VIS ARTS

SPEED FRIENDING

1PM THE PAV

1PM G.M.B CHAMBER

COLOURS DEBATE

PLAY PHILTHY

6PM G.M.B CHAMBER

7PM PLAYERS THEATRE

PHIL/PLAYERS/VDP

CABLE-TIE SOCIAL CRAWL 9PM

9PM G.M.B/THEATER/ATRIUM

G.M.B PHIL CONVO

9AM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

GUEST SPEAKS TO THE PHIL 1PM

STATIONS OF THE LOST 5PM

G.M.B PHIL CONVO

THW GET LIT AND RESIT 7PM

CLUB PHILTH 10PM

G.M.B CHAMBER

G.M.B CHAMBER

WEDNESDAY

FRIDAY

FREE BREAKFAST 9AM

BREAKFAST

G.M.B PHIL CONVO

BRAM PAPER READING 1PM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

URBAN CONSERVATION W/ ZOOSOC 9AM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

PHILEAGH NA COISIR 8PM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

TRINITY HALL

11AM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

NETFLIX AND PHIL 7PM G.M.B PHIL CONVO

COMING TO THE

PHIL THIS YEAR

NIGELLA LAWSON

DAME JUDI DENCH

RICHARD E. GRANT ACTOR

FOOD WRITER AND TV PRESENTER

KRISTIN CHENOWETH

PATRICK TOPPING DJ AND PRODUCER

DR. BRIAN MAY

ASTROPHYSICIST AND GUITARIST

JOHN MCENROE

ROSIE O’DONNELL

SEAN PARKER

SIR TIM BERNERS-LEE

AUDREY TATOU

FOOD WRITER AND TV PRESENTER ACTRESS AND SINGER

ACTRESS

MARY BERRY

TENNIS PLAYER

COMEDIAN

CO-FOUNDER OF NAPSTER

INVENTOR OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB

PUSSY RIOT

SEAN BEAN

ESTHER DUFLO

JOOLS HOLLAND

JIMMY WALES

ZADIE SMITH

WOLFGANG TILLMANS

DAVID AXELROD

ROCK GROUP AND ACTIVISTS

ACTOR

coming

CO-FOUNDER OF WIKIPEDIA

NOVELIST

ECONOMIST

ACTRESS AND MODEL

COMPOSER AND PIANIST

coming

PHOTOGRAPHER

CHIEF STRATEGIST OF OBAMA CAMPAIGNS

T H E IN

P H I L

ASSOCIATION

WITH

P R E S E N T S TRINITY

ARTS

F E S T I VA L

CONOR NEVIN

What do you get when you cross an erratic work ethic with a society whose success literally depends on disciplined organisation? Say hi to our Steward Conor, who can’t keep a job or a hair colour for much longer than a week, and who’s been wearing the same stained purple hoodie every day for two years and ugh !!!!!

PHIL PHUN Well fair play. You could be from Ballybegging-your-parents-to-leave-andgo-somewhere-with-wifi-infrastructure or the D4tress laden with silver spoons and haircuts that just feel arrogant. Maybe you flew here from far away, glazed with dreams of redheaded fiddlers spinning rings around you (Sheeran’s fallacy), or you just didn’t quite get into somewhere better, well that’s okay too, at least it’s not DCU. It doesn’t matter what you are or who you do, the important thing is that we all made it here together, in the words of my close, personal friend Post Malone: “If you f**k with winning, put your lighters to the sky” and I think we all f**k with winning here at the Phil.

But that’s not all we’re about at the Phil, we also love chatting cats, dressing up needlessly, and a great time out! The Phil is for all types! I personally find the idea of arguing for fun offensive and would happily brush my teeth with a rake from here on in if it meant I never had to listen to Mark’s “compare the substantive” a gain.

THURSDAY FRESHERS WEEK TICKETS ON SALE FRESHERS WEEK

A T

T H E

G R A N D

S O C I A L

Even if you’re not into big words or big egos, the Phil can be a lovely place to chill out, eat some microwaved baked potatoes and make some new pals with deep pockets (and even deeper hearts <3). Seriously though, your LinkedIn network will never look better. What’s that? You’re 18? And not on LinkedIn? Oh, you have a while to go yet. Just wait until Mark Finn’s endorsing you for chatting cats. You’re going to be splashed with a full bucket of new people here at college, an arguably overwhelming number, forget names and college courses (because you’ll forget them within 4 seconds of conversation) what matters is the ridiculous journey you’re about to embark on together.

Boy let me tell you, it’s gonna get real silly. You’re gonna do some really silly things; like raving in a castle, or raving on a train, or raving in your mates gaff at 5am while the halls warden; Ol’ Brendan “Wu-Tang” Tangney rounds the stairs, ready to dish out stern looks and “final” notices.

And this Is the first step of that journey, and it stands to reason that a silly journey needs some silly people, and that could be you!

I guess the point I’m trying to drive home here is that everything in college is going to feel brand new: the freedom & the friends, the hang-outs, the greats & the gowls, and my job at the Phil is to guide you through this magical time in your lives. Over Freshers Week we’ll have picnics in the pav, social-crawls & playtime with players, guest speakers & student papers, not to mention the notorious Club Philth, a night out so off the chain it’s like a medallion that’s just hit the floor, followed by our ambrosial breakfast. I really hope there’s something for everyone on our timetable, and I hope you’re one of those everyone too.

刀䔀䄀䰀 䜀伀唀刀䴀䔀吀 䤀刀䤀匀䠀 䈀唀刀䜀䔀刀匀 㜀 ㄀ ─ 倀爀椀洀攀 䤀爀椀猀栀 䈀攀攀昀Ⰰ 䰀愀洀戀 愀渀搀 倀漀爀欀 伀娀

HARRY MORRIS Harry Morris loves his calves, and he doesn’t care who knows it. Everyone wants big arms or ripped abs, but only the true bodybuilders care about calves. Arnold Schwarzenegger even once admitted that his calves were his major weakness, but Harry Morris? His calves are his main strength, and they’re only getting stronger by the minute. His goal is to have them sentient by Christmas. Talk to Harry this Freshers Week about a calf muscle workout routine that is tailored specifically for you. You deserve happiness. You deserve Harry Morris’ knockout calves.

PHILSPEAKS Team Schools are in charge of ‘PhilSpeaks’, the Phil’s secondary school debating initiative. We run different events throughout the year giving edgy teens the important opportunity to show off the ground breaking insights into politics, economics and philosophy they’ve gleaned from Katie Hopkins and Russel Brand. As well as in the process hopefully learning about public speaking, the Phil and maybe even themselves.

We need enthusiastic, friendly, phreshers to help out in whatever way they can.

On team schools we pride ourselves on our fun events and chilled out atmosphere, and our reputation for bopping tunes and plentiful food is second to none. But that can only happen with your ideas, your popcorn and candy floss making skills, and your smiles.

So if you want to get involved with the Phil, or yearn for that wholesome feeling of *giving back*, or to claim victory (or take We cross the country bringing debating (of the blame) for Ireland’s next generation the fun variety), to the masses. From our or even just to play on a bouncy castle TAP and regional workshops in places as in the GMB then come give us a hand! exotic as Belfast, Limerick, Cork and Galway, to our competitive weekend and Pro-am right here in the GMB, we really do it all.

As I’m sure you are all too happy to tell people, you’re finished school and are now a student in Trinity College Dublin.

So why are we wasting your precious time with all this? Well, I’m glad you asked.

With so much planned, we are always on the look out for new future phriends to contribute. That’s where you come in.

䈀漀爀搀 䈀椀愀 䌀攀爀琀椀昀椀攀搀 䤀爀椀猀栀 䌀栀椀挀欀攀渀 䘀椀氀氀攀琀 愀渀搀 䔀最最猀

䘀爀攀猀栀氀礀 䠀漀洀攀ⴀ䴀愀搀攀 䌀栀椀瀀猀 ☀ 䌀栀椀挀欀攀渀 䜀漀甀樀漀渀猀 吀爀愀搀椀琀椀漀渀愀氀 䤀爀椀猀栀 䈀爀攀愀欀昀愀猀琀 ㄀ 愀洀ⴀ㔀瀀洀

一䔀嘀䔀刀 唀匀䔀 䘀刀伀娀䔀一 䴀䔀䄀吀

眀眀眀⸀戀漀戀漀猀⸀椀攀

䈀愀爀椀猀琀愀 䌀漀昀昀攀攀 ☀ 圀椀渀攀 䈀愀爀 䜀甀椀渀渀攀猀猀 ☀ 䌀爀愀昀琀 䈀攀攀爀 愀瘀愀椀氀愀戀氀攀

䐀愀洀攀 匀琀 ㄀ 㔀㌀㠀 ㄀ 䄀戀戀攀礀 匀琀 ㄀㔀㌀㠀 㠀 圀攀砀昀漀爀搀 匀琀 ㄀㐀 㔀㜀㔀

MEMBERS SHANE KENNEALLY - PRO-STEWARD

Shane doesn’t care about anything or anyone, he’s pure mental. He’ll dye your leg hair blue in the middle of the night without a second thought but it’s actually so grand though because Shane’s just totally mad like that and he’ll literally do anything for the craic and he’s so fun and expects no repercussions for his actions haha. Sure, Shane’s probably the most extra and over the top member of council, but he… actually no, yeah, that’s kind of it really.

JAMES JOHNSTON - PRO-STEWARD

The first thing you’ll notice about James is his mesmerising and terrifyingly wide smile.

He managed to secure his position on council by literally swallowing the rest of the competition whole. The second thing you’ll notice about James is that he’s from Sligo, and the third thing you’ll notice is that he’s just dislocated his entire jaw and is in the process of swallowing you whole. We keep telling him to stop doing that to people!

JACK COUNIHAN - PRO-LIBRARIAN

Jack is the bad boy of the Phil. Okay, maybe he’s not ‘bad’ per se, but he’s definitely in the Phil, and he’s definitely a boy. At least Jack’s having a good time, you know?

It seems like he’s really enjoying existing and he’s actually a pleasant enough guy as well. He’s not really doing anything negative to anyone, but he’s also not particularly contributing anything positive to the world either. He’s just kind of… there, but you know what? Maybe that’s enough. Keep doing you Jack, whatever that is.

ZAHRA KHAN - PRO-LIBRARIAN

The epitome of effortless alt grunge coolness, no one’s seen Zahra since midMay because she like really started to totally understand hippie subculture. It’s all good though, because if the Phil doesn’t work out for her, rumour has it Z’s got a totally sweet position as PRO of DU 27 Club lined up for next year! Honestly though, don’t let Zahra’s cool exterior fool you - she’s an EYP alum, and we all know that’s really just for people who aren’t popular enough to do Model UN.

KATIE O'BRIEN - PRO-SCHOOLS

Katie has a warm smile and kind eyes, and she will definitely welcome you into the Phil with open arms. However, this sweetheart harbours some very interesting thoughts on 9/11, which you’ll discover after she pulls you aside someday and whispers, “the impact holes in the Pentagon were much smaller than a commercial American Airlines plane,” in your ear. Just smile as she waxes poetic about how the speed at which Building 7 collapsed is consistent only with controlled demolition, as she’ll eventually give up and start dancing to Taylor Swift with you after a while.

SEBASTIAN TOZER - PRO-SCHOOLS

Sebastian is Harry Higgins’ wet dream, mainly because he’s basically an exact replica of Harry Higgins himself. They both went to Mary’s, they both love Players, and… well, that’s all anyone really knows about either of them. Some people might say that Seb is a little bit too suspiciously squeaky clean, but then again, there’s nothing wrong with a Pro-Schools Convenor with a spotless record, is there?

OF COUNCIL IRENE FUENTES-MCDONNELL - PRO-D.C.

The name “Irene McDonnell” suggests the third member of Team DC is actually an 80 year old mature student who sits up the front of your Sociology lectures and constantly asks questions. Don’t worry though, we’ve been assured Irene is “only as young as she feels” and she “still has a few good years left!” We remain very interested to see what food she organises for debating competitions however, as she’s been seen attempting to Google “where buy Raisin Bran in bulk” and “fun prune juice cocktails” recently.

RYAN GRUNWELL - PRO-D.C.

Ríain Ní Ghrúinbhéal is not currently and has never been a member of the IRA - but that doesn’t mean he can’t let loose, have a little fun, and go ar an drabhlás every once in a while! Keep a watchful eye on any Phil “sign-up sheets” that Ryan presents to you this Fresher’s Week though - he might be trying to trick you into signing a book of condolences for the late Martin McGuinness instead!

SADHBH NUANAN - PRO-D.C. Hot off the heels of a summer spent randomly sitting in the Phil council room completely alone, Sadhbh is, ironically enough, our token Hist fresher. That’s right, our Pro DC Sadhbh originally had much loftier ambitions of being on Hist committee, but (un)fortunately her vague and conveniently non-specific back injury ruled that one out. Those stairs up to the first floor would have just been absolute murder! Pop into council and give Sadhbh a back massage this Freshers Week!

UMANG KALRA - PRO-SECRETARY

If you see Umang in the club this Freshers week, you’ll immediately think “who let this 12 year old into a club?” Try to resist the urge to demand to know where her parents are, because Umang is actually at least, like, 18 or 19, and she’s legally allowed to do basically anything she wants. Those things are just coincidentally exactly the same as what 12 year olds want to do, which is why she writes poems about New York and is obsessed with Harry Potter.

KATE KLEINLE - PRO-SECRETARY

Kate loves using quirky online slang as a substitute for having any kind of discernible personality fam. It’s just so deadass af. She’s feeling really lit to help bring you all the weekly chamber debates - doing anything else on a Thursday night is CANCELLED™ lmao. Soon you too could be wearing Birkenstocks with socks and not really having any other recognisable characteristics or attributes, just like Kate Kleinle! College is so out of this world, live your best life.

RUAIRC O'LEARY - PRO-TREASURER

Ruairc didn’t have a Facebook account until March of this year, so he’s definitely hiding some depraved, sick and twisted stuff. Or he could be an undercover guard.

We’re not saying he is an undercover guard, but since we have no evidence to corroborate the fact that he’s not an undercover guard, we also can’t say for sure that he definitely isn’t one. So don’t be afraid to let loose with Ruairc, but also not too loose because you just do never know whether or not he’s an undercover guard. .

TREASURER WARNING - this bio has been CURSED. Do NOT stop reading. If you do you will be visited by Ciara O’Leary tonight at 3am. She’ll appear in your bathroom mirror, covered in blood, and call you her homie. And then she’ll ask if you want to go to the gym with her and do the elliptical machine at level 10 difficulty for forty five minutes, and she won’t even let you get Carluccio’s afterwards, you’ll have to go to Sprout with her and get a wilting lukewarm salad and sit there in a pool of your own sweat, hating yourself.

CIARA O'LEARY

Think that’s funny? It’s REAL. To break the curse, copy and paste this bio onto 15 Facebook profiles. One girl didn’t, and now she’s Ciara’s homie… FOREVER.

DEALS AND DISCOUNTS Mongolian BBQ: €12 for buffet and soft drink Little Ass Burritos : €6.50 meal deal Krust Bakery : 15% discount and for Freshers’ Week a free mini donut when you spend over €6 Captain Americas: Buy one main course get one free (Mon-Fri) Wagamamas: Buy one main course get one free (Mon-Fri)

Temple Bar Apache Pizza: Small thin base pizza with 2 toppings, small chips and a drink for €4.99.

2. Large 14’’ pizza at cost price for €7.99 with two toppings max Bobos: Before 6pm - Burger + Chips + Soda for €10 (Mon-Thurs) KC Peaches: 10% off Midnight Disco: Extended Cheaplist until 1am Everleigh: Complimentary entry Sun – Thurs until 11:30PM (T’s & C’s apply)

Prhomo: €2 entry on Thursdays Workmans’s: €4 entry to “Somewhere” on Wednesday Dorian Black: 10% off Zipyard: 10% off Tango’s Dress Hire: 10% off evening wear Tights Department: 15% off Body Shop: 10% off (20% in September/October)

BRAM STOKER CLUB The Bram Stoker Paper Reading Club is a unique opportunity for members of the Phil to present a paper on a topic of their choice.

From Gilmore Girls to rave culture in Thatcher’s Britain to the evolution of our treatment of animals to Tinder, Bram has hosted a wide range of paper readings and discussions.

Papers are delivered once a week in the Phil Conversation Room in the GMB. Each paper lasts around 20 minutes and is followed by a Q&A, with plenty of tea, coffee and biscuits to create a relaxed atmosphere accessible to all.

If you have an interest in delivering a paper on a topic close to your heart, no matter how obscure or nuanced, we would love to hear from you! Just simply send an email to bramstoker@tcdphil.comor find us on Facebook.

HUGH

HARRY HIGGINS Hey, Harry here. Sorry I haven’t replied to your last ten messages, but I’ve actually really been getting into obscure Italian art-house cinema lately. Ever heard of this little film called Bicycle Thieves? God, Vittorio De Sica was so amazing.

He was such a leading figure in the neorealist movement.

Anyway, Bicycle Thieves received an Academy Honorary Award in 1950 and, just four years after its release, was deemed the greatest film of all time by Sight & Sound magazine’s poll of filmmakers and critics.[4] Oops, it’s time for me to get to get back to my upper middle-class ennui. Catch you later!

COMPETITIVE DEBATING If you’ve arrived in Trinity as a jaded schools debater who thinks they’ve seen it all, if debating is something you’ve never tried before but think you’d like to, or if you’d just like spend some time in Ireland’s most glamorous hostels – Debating is for you!

My name is Harry, and I’m the Debates Convenor of the Phil! Debating is a big part of what makes the Phil the Phil, and my team and I run the competitive side of things. We organise training, development, send teams to competitions, and convene the Trinity IV – Ireland’s largest debating competition.

Why should you get involved?

Debating is a great way to make friends in college. Whether it’s nervously preparing a speech with somebody you’ve only just met, or wrecking somebody you’ve only just met in a maidens round – debating is a fantastic way to get to know people.

You get to travel! Throughout the year there are opportunities to go to competitions all over Ireland and Europe. The World Championships is even in Mexico this year!

Debating is a skill that you can apply everywhere from your college essays, to interviews, to arguments with that one friend who literally thinks that they can never be wrong.

The actual debating is rarely the best part of a competition. They socials are great for meeting people from your own and other universities!

How can I get involved?

Sign up for Maidens! Maidens is the best way to get start debating with the Phil!

Sign up for competitions! Going to competitions is some of the most fun you can have with debating in the Phil, while also getting incredible experience.

Drop-ins: Every week, team DC run drop-in debates where anyone can come at any time to judge or speak in a debate.There is no audience, and it’s a great way to improve.

Lizzies: Lizzies is a pro-am competition where you will be paired with a more experienced debater. It is a great competition for meeting some of theold hacks in the Phil, and improve while you’re at it.

Workshops: We run workshops, where some of the Phil’s best debaters will give advice on how to get better at every aspect of debating.

LIBRARIAN Photoshop. Lightroom. Camera. Livestream. Long ago the four societies lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the other societies attacked. Only the librarian, master of all four mediums could stop them. But when the world needed him most he vanished. A hundred years past and my SMC and I discovered the new librarian, an Irish Studies student named David. And although his Photoshop skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe David can save the Phil.

CAMP USA.IE

DAVID O'CONNOR

S.M.C There’s only one thing Saoirse hates more than MCs who don’t know their place: herself. Sorka’s in charge of assigning the weekly council duties, which normally include things like “put up posters” and “clean the council room.”

Don’t be surprised if Sasha goes rogue though, adding things like “please laugh at my jokes” and “if you see me alone in the Arts Block come up and ask if I’m okay” to the mix this year. Validate this gal during freshers’ week - she’s beggin’ ya!

SORCHA RYDER

THE FUTURE IS SERIES INCLUDES EVERYTHING! USUAL PRICE

SPECIAL PHIL SOC DISCOUNT

OFFER ENDS DEC 15TH

www.campusa.ie

• • • • • • •

Return flights* Free accommodation & food Insurance J1 camp counsellor visa Up to $1,200 pocket money 30 days to travel across America A job at a top US summer camp Email: campusa@usit.ie to receive your discount. *Flights to Boston or New York. Terms and conditions apply.

We are delighted to introduce “THE FUTURE IS” Series, an exciting new series of panel discussions at the Phil. Our Senior Member of Council, Sorcha, will lead this throughout the year, with support from Team President.

This series will focus primarily on the progressive changes we are seeing in many different sectors of our Irish society. In light of the current controversial social and political climate, the youth of today are putting their own stamp on society to shape a future that is truly theirs. We hope to reflect these innovative changes with our talks. The discussions will focus on the future of politics, comedy, food and healthy living, media and law, with input from both expert figures long associated with their field as well as newer figures bringing in fresh ideas.

We hope you will all enjoy the talks as much as we will enjoy hosting them - the future looks bright!

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