Philander The Phil

Hi There!

Congratulations on getting into Trinity and welcome to the Phil - we’re the oldest and largest society on campus, with over 10,000 members and counting. In our 331 years of history we’ve recorded the presence of some remarkable members including Oscar Wilde, Samuel Beckett, Bram Stoker, and now YOU! At the heart of it all we are a debating and paper-reading society. Flip over a couple of pages to find out more about the fascinating debates we’re hosting every Thursday night this term. These are all followed by a generous reception and night out, one of the numerous free and fun things The Phil will be providing you with during your entire time in college. If you want to learn how to debate, sign up to our Maidens competition over the first term of college, or come along to our workshops, hosted throughout the year, as well as many other debating and public-speaking related activities.

That’s just a drop in the ocean of what The Phil is about - debating and public-speaking not sexy enough for you? What about Naomi Campbell and Channing Tatum? I thought so. These aren’t the only sexy guests we host. How about Angela Merkel? Here at The Phil, we like a woman in control. Into sports? Rafa Benitez could do it for you. Or does $$$ turn you on? Cofounder of PayPal and serial entrepreneur Peter Thiel popped in last year. We don’t just stop at world affairs, we’ve had sexy space celebrities such as astronaut and Twitter celeb Chris Hadfield visit The Phil too. This year will be no different and we have amazing guests lined up starting MONDAY of Fresher’s Week, with English actor and stand-up comedian Steve Coogan dropping by to receive the Gold Medal of Honorary Patronage of the society. Flick over a couple of pages to see the rest of our stellar line up!

Dating one of our numerous political, economic, literary, sports, law, business or showbiz guests may be a pipedream, but who knows - you might start your college romance at one of our many social events! The Phil will give you the opportunity to meet new people, challenge your worldview, see really cool, internationally renowned guests, get a bunch of free stuff and have ridiculous amounts of fun in the process. So come on down and say hi to us in the Phil Conversation Room this week for free popcorn, candyfloss, slushies, and throughout the year for even more!

Ludivine Rebet, President - president@tcdphil.com

Favoured by less than half of the electorate, Ludivine has nonetheless managed to climb her way to the top of the GMB mountain. Sound suspicious? Don’t ask questions. No need to be intimidated though, Ludivine hasn’t needed to physically injure anyone in ages, and she’s always looking for input from ordinary members which she will reject in only the most diplomatically pleasing terms. “Oh my god, thank you *so* much for your suggestion, I’ve totally taken it on board and even though I really value your input I’m going to do it the way I always intended anyway. Great to hear challenging viewpoints though. Lean in! :)” This publication is partially funded by Trinity Publications.

history of the phil

A TAINTED LEGACY

As what I claim to be the oldest student society in the world, The Phil has enjoyed 331 years of illustrious history, only now to be ruined by you bunch of spoiled brats with your iPhones and your ‘bleep blop’ electronic music. Founded in 1683 for the purpose of discussing ‘philosophy, mathematics, and other polite literature,’ The Phil quickly became the hotspot on campus for all high-minded intellectuals and ambitious socialites.

Then some try-hard, four-eyes, socks-and-sandals dweeb named Edmund Burke tried to join in on the fun. His membership was denied, his head was dunked in a toilet, and he went scuttling off upstairs to form some ‘Other Society’ where Phil rejects could fade into obscurity, a tradition which continues to this day.

All was going well in The Phil until 1731, when some high-ranking council members hatched an outrageous conspiracy to kill the Junior Dean, and eh, they actually followed through on it. Turns out that murder was against ‘the rules’ and The Phil was banished from College. Not to worry though!

After a brief 114 year hiatus, The Phil was back on the scene after some more understanding College authorities let bygones be bygones, realising that rowdy boys were bound to kill a few Junior Deans in their time.

And this time, we were here to stay. Once again, the society attracted the crème de la crème of Trinity, including Samuel Beckett, Ernest Walton, Oscar Wilde, and of course, Bram Stoker, who became president in 1870 in what remains the greatest achievement of his career.

The mid-20th century saw The Phil grow into the society we know and love today. In 1968, we became the first society to admit women, and soon they came to dominate, leading us into the glory days we now experience. With world-class guests, thought-provoking debates, and legendary nights out, you can forget about lectures because college is all about The Phil. This society has something for everyone so join us during Freshers’ Week and soon you could be killing a Junior Dean of your own!

THE GMB

While other societies are left to house their activities in rooms more reminiscent of prison cells, The Phil has the run of its own veritable mansion called the Graduates’ Memorial Building. Just off Front Square, there will be a non-stop flow of music, food, and good vibes all year, so make sure you pop in.

First door on the left is our Conversation Room, the ultimate hang out spot, where many an hour has been whittled away discussing the big topics du jour, reading the newspapers, and exchanging gossip - all on our famous leather sofas. Next door you’ll find the Chamber, the home of our Thursday night debates, where hundreds will gather to hear our guest and student speakers give entertaining speeches. Steer clear on a Wednesday though, the debates are tedious and anal, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

On the second floor is the Bram Stoker room, where our Librarian has been living for four months, catching occasional rays of sun from the single window, creating this wonderful magazine for you.

Also on this floor, but this time open to all members, are the pool and snooker rooms, where many an unsatisfying sexual encounter has taken place - and also some snooker.

The GMB is where Trinity’s social life starts and ends and you don’t want to miss out, so make sure you come and explore during the week and year!

CIAN HENRY, REGISTRAR - registrar@tcdphil.com

Cian ‘the big dog, the ghoul man, the auld fellow’ Henry is as much a comedic legend on campus as he is at his now annual internship in Mason Hayes and Curran, or as he calls it ‘The Firm.’ His work cubicle contains two stickers; one proclaims ‘Creative Destruction’ and the other simply, ‘Legalise It.’ When he’s not bringing the funny on Thursday nights he likes to relax by browsing reddit.com and defending free speech from left wing loonies. For his 16th birthday Cian received two important presents - firstly, the collected works of Christopher Hitchens, and secondly, by extension, enlightenment. Feel free to question him on either topic at any of our post-debate receptions.

ma i d en s amy poehler / desmond tutu / angela merkel / alex ferguson / john mearsheimer / al pacino / tommy hilfiger / chris hadfield / chris lubbe / david petraeus / nancy pelosi / bob geldof / john kenneth galbraith / salman rushdie / peter thiel / ira glass / jonah hill / julian fellows / rafael benitez / jenna marbles / conan o’brien / hugh laurie / naomi campbell / jack white / courtney love / stephen fry / whoopi goldberg / bono / bill bryson / jane goodall / paul krugman / eric maskin / seamus heaney / stephen pinker / helen mirren / nile rodgers / lenny abrahamson / simon amstell / john hume / dominic west / michael gambon / pete doherty / jon snow / a. a. gill / daniel handler / john mccain / william butler yeats / channing tatum / jack white / jon voight / jonathan rhys meyers / robert engle / richard dawkins / joseph stiglitz / the edge / gabriel byrne / tommy tiernan / mona eltahawy / tim draper / neil harbisson / lindsey graham / mary mcaleese / steve redgrave / dana white / kele okereke / dan ariely / winston churchill / ... and many more

Hey Kool Kids!

Congrats on getting into Trinity! Here’s to four years of being slagged off by all the (lesser) colleges for being TRINITY W@£!€?$. Reading this mag means that you’ve made a gr8 decision in joining The Phil. The membership will serve you well, and there is literally 2much2do with us.

Who am I?

I’m Manus, Vice President of The Phil/Hype Man/Fresher-Debate enabler! What that means is that I’ll be running the first year deabtes, or ‘Maidens’ for this year. Everyone debates in college. EVERYONE. You wouldn’t want to be left out of that party now would you? Of course not! Peer pressure makes you cool, and you planned on becoming one of those Kool Kollege Kids that you see hanging outside ‘artsy’ coffee shops, drinking flat whites and talking about how ‘hord they’re totes hanging from that #RAGER in Opium Rooms last night.’ Any fresher/Phil info you need, I’m your man - catch me floating around the GMB throughout the year, not unlike a Fresher Fairy Godmother.

What are ‘debates’??

Debates (or deb8s if you wanna fit in with the aforementioned ‘Kool Kids’) are like ‘Yo Mamma’ fights except instead of belittling each other’s mothers, it’s talking about economics, privilege, foreign policy, and how ALL MEN ARE PIGS - amongst many other interesting topics. The Éamonn O’Coinne Memorial Maidens Competition is a debating competition specifically for first-time debaters. You’ll be pitted against your mates, and mates-to-be in a Hunger Games-esque fight to be one of the final 8-to-deb8 in a packed chamber! The winner will be crowned ‘TOP PHRESHER’ and win a mystery prize. There’ll be workshops, feedback, and loads of help along the way, so fret not if you have no idea how to debate - we’ll teach you how to give them the ol’ razzle dazzle.

Exec

The best part of college by far is hanging out and doing nothing all day. Here at The Phil, we embrace that with our Exec, a pre-debate hang at 6.15pm every Thursday before the weekly debate. Hanging out on our couches and bean bags is an opportunity to make new friends and chat, all whilst eating the free food I’ll bring along. You’ll even get to use your newfound debating courage by chatting to the hotties that sat across from you in your last debate (and trust me, there will be hotties).

Netflix and Chill

If none of that tickled your fancy, The Phil has far more to offer, like NIGHTS OUT after Thursday debates, and MASSO PARTIES with glitter coming out the WAZZO! We do inter-varsity debating as well, meaning we all go down the country to some culchie college to cruise through the local talent and have truckloads of refreshments. On top of that we get loads of famous people here to talk; and there will be ‘Netflix and Chill’ on Fridays in the Convo Room, to nurse your head after the bangin’ Thursday debate #amirite??

Find mates, debates, and hotties, all at The Phil. There are no brakes on this #hypetrain, so don’t get left behind.

Manus Dennison, Vice President - vp@tcdphil.com Manus is the ultimate proof that anyone is welcome to The Phil, even if they really shouldn’t be. Ever wondered what happens when you mix a lonely childhood with access to broadband internet? Have a conversation with our Vice President, and you’ll soon find out. You might say “Hi Manus!” and he’ll call you a ‘spicy young buck’ followed by some incomprehensible chatter about internet memes. Accept his warm embrace as you are welcomed to The Phil, safe in the knowledge that, compared to Manus, you’ll always fit in.

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Hi, I’m Matthew. I’m the Secretary of The Phil which means that I’m responsible for organising our Thursday night chamber debates.

In university you are exposed to a whole bunch of new ideas - concepts you never knew existed and others you thought you knew everything about. The Phil is at the forefront of discourse on these ideas. And on that note, we invite you to our flagship event every week: the Thursday night debate! Come and learn something new. Come and challenge your existing views. Come and have a laugh. We do our best to cover as wide a range of topics as possible, and I hope the termcard below is indicative of this objective. While we question the restrictions we place on free speech, we also ask whether we benefit from our obsession with celebrity culture.

If none of that tickles your fancy there’s always the generous post-debate reception to look forward to. However, if you do find that you’re passionate about a particular topic, don’t be afraid to sign up to speak and give it a go - for any quetions or queries, feel free to contact me at secretary@tcdphil.com!

Freshers’ Week: This House Would Do It For the Likes 24 September 2015 Arguably - nah, definitely - the highlight of Freshers’ Week, the annual Phil FW comedy debate sees us face one of the biggest philosophical issues of our time. Ever thought about changing that new profiler cause it didn’t get more likes? Disappointed you are yet to secure that hunnid liker post? Would you ever do something JUST for likes? Watch as RTE’s Stephen Byrne and JOE. ie’s Carl Kinsella are pitted against four of the biggest BNOCs (that’s Big Names On Campus for all you freshas) in Trinity, as they attempt to outdo each other in comedic prowess. There is no better place to kick off Thursday night before hitting Club Philth #likeforlike #letsgetmortal!

Week 1: This House Believes in the Right to Offend 1 October 2015 Does freedom of speech mean anything without the right to offend? Tu es Charlie Hebdo or is that just bonkers? Brendan O’Neill, editor of Spiked Online and writer of that Stepford Students article argues in proposition. Up against we have Trinity’s own Roja Faezali and Asghar Bukhari, founding member of the Muslim Public Affairs Committee UK speaking for the opposition. Be sure to arrive early to get your seat in what is sure to be a full house.

Week 2: This House Would Sell its Virginity 8 October 2015 Virginity for sale, any bidders? This debate looks at the commodification of sexual acts and, more specifically, the act of popping the cherry. In response to more and more women who are selling off their v-plates to the highest bidder, we ask whether we would do it ourselves. Is virginity anything more than a tool to keep women in their place? And if so, what is to stop women using this valuable asset as a vehicle for capitalism to gain power and opportunity from men? Come and watch Anthea McTeirnan, Irish Times Journalist, argue in favour of the motion, while Janet O’Sullivan, Internet blogger, speaks against.

Week 3: This House Wishes Dumbledore Had Come Out - in association with Q Soc 15 October 2015

Dumbledore’s sexuality has been the subject of much speculation, fuelling a debate about queer representation in the media.

Should a character’s sexuality be integral to their identity? Or should it be incidental to their development? On the speaking panel is YouTube sensation Laci Green, and the in chair we have Grainne Healy.

Week 4: This House Regrets Big Government Tax Intervention 22 October 2015 This debate asks whether big government has gone too far. Is taxation theft? Or is redistribution of wealth a necessary tool for a just and fair society? Isn’t it our duty to help those who are down on their luck? Too many Q’s for you? Fear not! Our fine line of speakers is sure to have all the answers.

Week 5: Liferaft Debate 29 October 2015 So the Hist have only gone and brought about a nuclear war on earth. The survivors (the audience of the debating chamber) set sail to build a new society from scratch. Come and see Trinity’s most accomplished and witty academics fight it out for that last remaining seat on the raft. Each professor must argue that his or her discipline is the one indispensable area of study needed for a new world to flourish. What’s even better, you decide who wins - and who gets kicked off the plank.

Week 6: This House Believes You Cannot Own an Idea 5 November 2015 What’s yours is mine, and mine is yours. Maybe not the way with intellectual property law. But can you ever really own an idea?

Surely these laws stand as barriers for the dissemination of ideas in society. Maybe we should all benefit from people’s ideas, regardless of who came up with it first. Or maybe there is such a thing as an original idea and it should be protected? Before you make your mind up on this issue, open it with the debate the Phil brings you.

Week 8: This House Would Build-a-Baby - in association with Bio Soc 19 November 2015 “Brown hair, green eyes and a button nose please.” “Would you like freckles with that?” This debate asks what limits, if any, should be placed on the production of genetically engineered babies. Is screening out personality flaws, such as alcoholism, or requesting cosmetic traits like brown hair, a step too far for humanity or rather simply the next step in human evolution? Are we morally obligated to select ideal genes to make the best children possible? Or should we let mother nature do her thang?

Week 9: This House Believes Hamas is a Greater Obstacle to Peace than Israel - in association with SoFIA 26 November 2015 For all those interested in the Israel/Palestine conflict, this is the debate for you. Few days go by without hearing of more and more devastation in this area of the Middle East. Coming to you in association with the Society for International Affairs, we ask who really stands in the way of peace for the people of Israel and the Occupied Palestinian Territories: Hamas or Israel? Come along and watch a debate centred around one of the most longstanding conflicts of our time.

Week 11: This House Would Keep Up with the Kardashians 10 December 2015 Our Michaelmas term debates come to a close with the questing gripping our nation: should we really keep up with the Kardashians? Before we break off for Christmas, we turn to a more light-hearted topic. What can we learn from the dynamic of California’s most famous fam? Perhaps it’s time we moved on from our obsession with celebrity culture, or maybe should we stay put? To help us ponder these questions, we will have Trinity’s finest and funniest students on hand.

Matthew Nuding, Secretary - secretary@tcdphil.com

Matthew’s been grinding hard all summer to assemble a jaw-dropping range of high quality debates. In fact, when dealing with such a volume of high-flying guests it’d be no surprise if Matthew was ecstatic to introduce you to every single one. Maybe he’s getting emotional but aw man he just feels so good right now. His face ring a bell? In a previous life as a clean-cut model Wesley student, Matthew was cruelly (and in this writer’s opinion, wrongly) eliminated from the penultimate round of Junior Apprentice, after presenting a business idea described as “so weird it was verging on immoral”. Don’t bring it up though, his whole life’s been one big comedown since then.

FRESHERS’ WEEK You thought you were finished with the red bulls, the long nights and the nagging feeling that you should be studying. Welcome to Trinity. Except now the red bulls have become a routine, the long nights aren’t for studying (if you get what I mean) and while you’re going to have a guilty conscience for missing your lectures at least for the first two weeks, you’ll get over it. Now it’s time to dive into the deep end of euphoric college life. Come along on Thursday nights to scope out the room and the talent. Whether you’re into debating or not, The Phil will cater to your every need this year. Attend our debates, indulge yourself at our receptions and then lose yourself in the music and the madness of it all, making plenty of phriends along the way. Douse yourself in glitter, get your gameface on and we’ll see you on the dancefloor. xox

Eimear Gorey, Steward - steward@tcdphil.com

Eimear is our queen of nightlife, and she can’t wait to get the party started, so it can be finished in time for the real fun afterwards where everyone will join hands, sit in a circle and hum while she plays a mellow but intensely quirky song on her ukelele in a woodland setting which is covered in origami. And if you don’t enjoy all this whimsy, well, as Eimear would put it herself, you can always go to the annual “this-year-will-bebetter” Hist party.

College - sorted!

Monday

with the phil!

9-12 - Free breakfast - Phil Conversation Room.

1.00 - Treasure Hunt.

4.00 - Steve Coogan speaks to The Phil - the GMB Chamber.

7.00 - Trinity vs. UCD Colours Debate - the GMB Chamber.

Tuesday

9-12 - Free breakfast - Phil Conversation Room.

1.00 - TAF workshop.

3.00 - Speed Dating - the GMB Chamber.

5.00 - Céilí with Cumann Gaelach - Front Square.

8.00 - Play Philthy! Gameshow edition - Player’s Theatre.

Wednesday

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Philosophy Students check out our unbeatable range and value on Books, Stationery, Magazines, Newspapers, Art and Craft Supplies, Confectionery in our Nassau St. Store

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9-12 - Free breakfast - Phil Conversation Room.

11.00 - Yoga Morning with Yoga Soc. 1.00 - Bram Stoker Paper-Reading Club presents: “Pop Culture, the Dankest Meme of All” - Phil Conversation Room 3.30 - Evelyn Glennie speaks to The Phil - the GMB Chamber.

5.00 - Food and Drink Get Philthy with DU Food and Drink.

7.00 - Cable Tie Pub Crawl.

Thursday

9-12 - Free breakfast - Phil Conversation Room.

12.00 - Inflatable twister and sumo suits.

2.00 - Debating workshop - The GMB. 7.30 - Fresher’s Week comedy debate: This House Would do it For the Likes - the GMB Chamber.

9.00 - Post-debate reception Phil Conversation Room.

10.30 - CLUB PHILTH.

Friday

9-12 - Free breakfast - Phil Conversation Room.

10.00 - Movie day with DU Film Soc - Phil Conversation Room.

1.00 - Poetry on Ice, with Lit Soc and free ice cream courtesy of Murphy’s! - Phil Conversation Room.

2.00 - Pool Competition with Pool Soc - Pool Rooms, GMB. For more information follow us online! www.tcdphil.com www.facebook.com/tcdphil www.twitter.com/tcdphil

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Members of Council Eoin O’Gorman, Senior Member of Council

Witty, charming and engaging are just some of the adjectives which have never been used to describe Eoin. When he’s not ‘helping out’ on Team President, the hated Eoin can be found wandering the GMB for anyone foolish enough to listen to garbage questions like “Would you rather kill 100 puppies or kill one baby?” Hint: your answer is irrelevant - this is purely an exercise in demonstrating how ‘hilarious’ his meticulously prepared question is. Smile, laugh politely and wait for him to go and bother someone else.

Michaela Kalcher, Pro-Debates Convenor

It’s not that Michaela dislikes you, it’s that she’s entirely disinterested in you. Or perhaps she’s not coldly disinterested, maybe it’s just that she’s Austrian? All I know is that Michaela’s favourite part of Disney classic ‘Bambi’ is where Bambi’s mother is shot by a deer hunter, although she has criticised the director’s decision to stage the death off-screen as “cowardly” and “another instance of Hollywood cotton-wrapping already overindulged youngsters from the ghastly realities of the deer hunting world”. One can only hope she will import this “tough love” approach to her work as pro-DC.

Kate Haley, Pro-Librarian

The Phil’s answer to Kate Moss, Ciara makes up one-third of Team Lib but nobody seems to have told her! Last seen in the GMB in March, Kate is probably busy being a model and being a twin and also being from Donegal while the rest of us can only hope to be two of those things at most.

At any given time she’s probably attending some sort of slam poetry event you’ve never heard of, flaunting the kind of casual, easy-going demeanour that is set to be entirely counter-productive in a society whose organisation requires extreme discipline.

Niamh Egleston, Pro-Debates Convenor

As an occasional law student, Niamh’s motto is “one must break the law before one can understand the law”, and although she hasn’t broken any laws yet she’s definitely treading a bit close to the line on a couple of things. Not one to be bound by societal norms, Niamh plays by her own rules, which only coincidentally align precisely with accepted behavioural standards. Nope, nothing will stand in the way of ‘Nutty Niamh’ having a crazy time in college, except the risk of missing any lectures as they are indispensable to her studies.

Conn McCarrick, Pro-Librarian

Fresh from a summer fixing Kenya, Conn is ready to dive into the equally worthwhile task of designing posters for paper-readings on a biweekly basis. And if Conn’s carefully curated snapchat stories with the children of Kenya (“we are all children of Africa”) are anything to go by, we’re in for one hell of a year of exploitatively great photography with absolutely no troubling colonial subtext. You see those hands crafting that fresh graphic design? Those are the hands that built Kenya.

Sheila Naughton, Pro-Steward

Sheila is ten pounds of fun in a five pound bag wearing nine inch heels. Hailing from somewhere outside the general South Dublin area, she brings undeniable edge to this year’s Council, and, if her accent is anything to go by, you’d better do what she says. That means you’ll never rest again as weekends are carved up between generic Dublin nightclubs (think Coppers, Diceys) and punishing fitness regimes featuring protein shakes, early morning jogs and ‘superfoods’. Keep up, hun!

Tom Cantillon, Pro-Secretary

Possessing the combination of ambition and bland but enjoyable humour needed to be 1st year Lawsoc rep, Tom has since climbed his way out of hell and made it to the Phil. Tom began from somewhat humbler roots, working through his teens as a stable boy at The National Stud, which is ironic because that’s also the nickname he uses to pick up girls in the pubs and clubs of Kildare.

As in: “Hey Tom, do you work in The National Stud?” Tom: “No babe, I am The National Stud.”

Izzy Sweeney, Pro-Secretary

Izzy loves The Phil. Remember that scene in Love Actually where Andrew Lincoln shows up at Keira Knightley’s door with a set of cue cards that say “to me, you are perfect” in a move that is in equal parts inappropriate and romantic? Well instead imagine that Keira Knightley is the largest society on Trinity campus and that Andrew Lincoln smokes rollies and enjoys competitive debating. That’s how much Izzy loves The Phil, and she can’t wait to welcome all the new freshers in, or, as she calls them, her “little Phils”.

James Ware, Pro-Treasurer

Seeing James stroll across Front Square bedecked in a crisp Oxford shirt, tailored shorts and a clean pair of boat shoes, you might be tempted to think he’s just another posh, privileged English public school blow in. But actually, he’s Scottish. And James is keen to break down such ‘Team England’ stereotypes on campus – a fervent supporter of Scottish Independence, James can be heard advocating the liberation of the ordinary Scottish man and woman, many of whom he has encountered working on his family estate.

Chris Costigan, Pro-Debates Convenor

Chris is charged with organising The Phil’s competitive debating which is just as well because he has no other discernible interests. Or at least none that are legal. In fact, debating has become such a central part of his life that he spends almost every waking minute confidently asserting facts about things that neither he nor anyone else knows anything about, and frankly it’s tearing his family apart and his parents just wish he’d give up the debating and play sports like the other boys.

Claire O’Nualláin, Pro-Steward

Although initially a Hist fresher, Claire quickly realised she had a personality and joined us over at the Phil, where now, ironically, she is charged with ensuring our nightlife is as far from the Hist as possible. Her story is one woman’s battle against the irredeemable fact of being from Waterford. Longing from a young age to be a member of a trendy South Dublin élite, at just four years of age Claire forced her parents to enrol her in speech and drama classes, as evidenced by the ridiculously affected accent she persists with to this day.

Doireann O’Brien, Pro-Schools Convenor

Doireann is yet another warm, friendly, candid member of council who also has some thorny questions about the official story on 9/11. Her warm sense of humour and winning smile are set to endear her to a generation of freshers, qualities which will only be slightly overshadowed by her insistence that the speed at which Building 7 collapsed is consistent only with controlled demolition. Laugh and cry as Doireann recounts hilarious anecdotes till the wee hours, and smile blankly as she argues that those who stay silent on the lies of 9/11 are complicit in an unprecedented global conspiracy to defraud the American people.

Jenny Ryder, Pro-Schools Convenor

Namaste everyone! Jenny here, just back from a three month volunteering programme in Delhi, India, experiencing ‘cultural immersion’ in the finest hotels, bars and restaurants the city has to offer. Not to mention my time teaching in an underprivileged Delhi school – reminded me so much of Slumdog Millionaire - thousands of kids with the singular dream of winning Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. SO CUTE! And the best part of all is I’ve brought a suitcase home crammed with bindis to wear at music festivals in honour of their (our?) sacred culture!

COMPETITIVE DEBATING HELLO!

My name is Conan and I’m the debates convenor of The Phil. My job is to look after everything to do with competitive debating, from running competitions to organising training and development. My team and I run weekly activities as well as convene the Trinity IV in January which is Ireland’s largest debating competition.

WHY YOU SHOULD GET INVOLVED

- Public speaking is a very valuable skill that you’ll end up using in everything from seminars to job interviews.

- The ability to clearly develop and structure an argument lies at the core of debating and is coincidentally one of the main skills you’ll need for writing a college essay.

- Being forced to argue for things you don’t believe in is a really refreshing way to explore and challenge your own beliefs.

- You get to travel all over the place! Throughout first year there will be lots of opportunities to go on weekends away to competitions in Ireland and further afield.

- All the bits that aren’t debating are even better than debating; competitions often have really good nights out with free food.

WAYS TO GET INVOLVED

Sign up for maidens! After that, or during it if you can’t get enough debating, Team DC has lots of ways to satisfy your needs.

- Drop-ins: Every week we run casual debates that anyone can attend to try their hand at speaking or judging. These are small events with no audience and a great way to practice.

- Workshops: we also run workshops every week on every aspect of debating, from tactics to knowledge about international relations or social justice.

- Lizzies: This is a pro-am competition we run in Michaelmas Term where freshers team up with more experienced debaters and compete in several rounds over the course of the day. It’s always super fun and a great way to get to know people!

- External Competitions: We’ll regularly post sign-up sheets on Facebook as well as on the noticeboard in the GMB. If you’re still unsure about public speaking, you can give judging a shot.

If you have any questions about debating or how to get involved, feel free to ask me or any of the other wonderful members of Team DC - Chris, Michaela, or Niamh.

CONAN QUINN, DEBATES CONVENOR dc@tcdphil.com

Meet Conan, the complex, troubled teenage heartthrob who could be the protagonist from a low budget Salinger novel, but instead organises our competitive debating. ‘So often we throw ourselves into futile, meaningless pursuits,’ he might say, turning to ash a fading cigarette over a crumpled copy of the New Yorker, ‘because we have not yet learned to love ourselves.’

Beyond the struggle of reconciling his genius with the crushing inadequacy of his environment, Conan enjoys vices, arthouse cinema, and distant, fleeting sexual encounters with women who will never truly understand him.

DEALS AND DISCOUNTS Bobo’s Burger Restaurant - €10 for any burger +chubby/skinny chips + can of soft drink.

Valid Mon -Friday till 6 pm.

Tower Records - 10% off T&C’s apply

KC Peaches - 12% off

Captain America’s - Buy 1 main course get 1 free! Selected COCKTAILS €3 & Selected PINTS €3.50 Mon-Wed

Blazing Salads - 10% off. Not to be used with in house offers KCR Taxis - €4 off journey. Applies only to email/phone bookings when quoting “The Phil” PrHomo @ The Hub - €5 entry Hodges and Figgis - 10% off T&C’s apply Eason - 10% off

Savoy - €5 Mon-Fri

Muji - 10% off T&C’s apply

Wagamama - Buy 1 main course get 1 free, Mon-Fri only GBK - €6.50 for classic burger and student fries YoSushi - 20% off Workman’s - €4 entry on Wed C U Next Tuesday - €3 entry

STEPAN LAVROUK, TREASURER - treasurer@tcdphil.com

Rumour has it that if you stare into a mirror and say “toxic masculinity” three times, Stepan appears out of thin air. Careful what you wish for though, he’ll probably be drinking a can of red bull or punching a nerd or both at the same time. Legend! Having secured the most traditionally male position of treasurer on Council, we can look forward to another year of Stepan’s futile attempts to shore up an exaggerated macho front, resting easy in the knowledge that this country has absolutely no tainted history of financial overlords with inferiority complexes.

HUDA AWAN, LIBRARIAN - librarian@tcdphil.com

Oh my God - Huda is SO. OUT. RAGEOUS. So much so that sometimes you might think she’s being mean to people she doesn’t like but she’s actually just being blunt and if you can’t deal with her honesty you can f&%$ off. If she’s not providing technical support to her uselessly impractical fellow council members, she’s busy curating a personality around her willingness to say the things no one else wants or needs to. Many Trinity students are known to affect a superior attitude, but Huda is just telling the truth.

phil speaks

Kids

these days are a different breed. They equate the Spice Girls to The Beatles, and keep up with the Kardashians rather than forever grappling with the eternal question of whether Ross and Rachel were REALLY on a break. This is where PhilSpeaks, as a bastion of sparkling discourse and cheesy Noughties and Nineties music, steps in.

This is The Phil’s nationwide secondary school debating initiative, which gives jaded, disillusioned, old college hacks like you and me the chance to leave a legacy and to educate the future of tomorrow in important matters such as feminism, Britney Spears, POIs, and Harry Potter trivia. We bring debating (of the fun, amusing, not-very-competitive kind), cheesy music and mountains of food to secondary schools all around Ireland, and make sure that the students have a ball while taking part.

This all happens in the form of workshops around the country, a competitive weekend, a Pro-Am competition, and a growing Outreach programme which involves weekly workshops in collaboration with the Voluntary Tuition Programme and involvement with schools in areas where students would not generally have easy access to public speaking and debating workshops.

Do you know that warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you help out a friend, volunteer with a charity, or laugh so hard that you pee yourself a little bit? Well these warm fuzzies are up for grabs 24/7 with PhilSpeaks, as we need volunteers like a doughnut needs a hole! Without the help of our wonderfully enthusiastic volunteers, PhilSpeaks could not keep up the incredible work that it does. We are renowned for providing some of the best events of the Phil’s year, but we could not do it without the ideas, jokes, debating insights and laughter of those who help us out.

So get involved in the fun, share in the loveliness, and play a hand in moulding these innocent whippersnappers into the opinionated college debaters/banter panthers of tomorrow. You’ll be sure to have a great time, so don’t miss out. We can’t wait to see you there!

RACHAEL O’BYRNE SCH., SCHOOLS CONVENOR - SCHOOLS@TCDPHIL.COM Since becoming a scholar, Rachael has been consumed by her new minor Trinity celebrity, from liberally exercising her right to use the ‘Sch.’ academic title, to ‘accidentally’ wearing her scholar cape to lectures. Expect Rachael to reliably attend every Trinity Monday for many years to come ‘supporting her friends,’ in what is actually a transparent attempt to ensure she is the first to upload a photo of those who get Schols, piggybacking off their success to the tune of one, maybe two hundred likes.

BRAM STOKER PAPER-READING CLUB For all the talk of making new friends and drinking inappropriate amounts, one of the most important aspects of college life is getting to show off how smart you are to your peers. Six years ago, members of The Phil recognized this need and set up the Bram Stoker Club to give bright young things like yourselves the chance to wax lyrical about any topic under the sun you desire.

The format of Bram is simple. You deliver a paper on anything you like, the more self-indulgent the better - topics last year included Beyonce and Orange Is The New Black. This is followed by a Q&A with the audience, comprised of like-minded individuals united by their thirst for knowledge. If that wasn’t enticing enough, it all takes place in the deliriously cloistered confines of the Phil conversation room, complete with off-brand tea and the best biscuits ten quid a week can buy.

So come on down on Wednesday afternoons to have your eyes opened, your minds broadened and your insatiable desire to have people listen to you satisfied. If you have an idea for a paper you would like to submit, please don’t hesitate to contact us, either on Facebook at facebook.com/bramstokerclub or via email at bramstokerclub@tcdphil.com.

Looking forward to seeing you all, Conor, Sophie and Matthew xxx

STUDENT DEAL CLASSIC BURGER Available in these locations:

Liffey Valley, Swords Pavillions, South Anne St., South William St., Newbridge & Temple Bar

AND STUDENT FRIES ADD A BOTTOMLESS SOFT DRINK FOR ONLY €1.50 EXTRA TOPPINGS OR SAUCES +50C

€6.50

1. Valid Irish Student I.D. required. 2. Redeemable in all GBK restaurants ROI (exc. Dublin Airport).

3. Not valid in conjunction with any other offer. 4. Offer valid Mon-Fri (Sept-June).

20% Off

for valid student card holders Since 1997

1. Valid Irish Student I.D. required. 2. Redeemable in all YO!Sushi restaurants ROI. 3. Not valid in conjunction with any other offer. 4. Offer valid Mon-Fri (Sept-June).