The Phil TCD 2019

THE PHILANDER T H E OFFI CI AL MAG A ZINE OF T HE UN I V ER SI T Y PHILOS OPHIC AL S O CIE T Y

FR E SHER S WEEK 201 9

335TH SESSION

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS Hello !

Congratulations on getting into Trinity! Get ready to begin the best four years of your life. How should you spend it, I hear you cry? Join the Phil and experience the very best Trinity has to offer!

We are the ​oldest student society in the world​and the largest on campus.

With over 10,000 members and counting, we’ve recorded the presence of some truly remarkable members. This includes Oscar Wilde, Samuel Beckett, Bram Stoker, and hopefully now you! For 334 years we’ve been bringing you world-class debates, fantastic guests and unreal social events.

The 335th year promises to be no different! There’s something for everyone here at the Phil Are you interested in the big questions of the day?​ The Phil is THE place on campus to talk about what’s going on in the world. Come along to our famous Thursday night debates, where high profile speakers and controversial topics can always be found. You can challenge your existing opinions, open your mind to new ideas or just confirm your biases. Personally, we don’t care! Chamber debates are followed by a lavish, FREE reception, as well as a class night out every week.

Do you like meeting famous people? ​ As a Phil member you’re cordially invited to all of our speakers‘ addresses. In the past, members have had the opportunity to hear talks delivered by the likes of Martin Scorsese, Apple CEO Tim Cook and

Chancellor Angela Merkel! This year, you will be able to listen to, and challenge Omarosa, Slavoj Žižek as well as many others.

Do you like to party? ​ So do we ! It makes sense that the biggest society on campus would run the biggest nights out too. You can find an amazing social scene here throughout the year, from weekly nights out and Christmas parties, to mystery tours and our famous Phil Ball. This all kicks off in Freshers’ Week - so make sure to get your tickets for Club Philth this Thursday, the biggest night of the week!

Do you like to debate? ​ The Phil runs our Maidens Debating Competition every year. Its a fantastic way to get involved with the Phil, learn how to debate and make new friends.

But wait there’s more! We run debating workshops and training sessions - aimed at a range of skill levels - all year long. Pop along for some practise before heading off to national competitions with us - the most successful debating society in Ireland right now!

As a member, you will be entitled to free entry to every Thursday night debate and guest speaker event we run throughout the year. You will have access to our Snooker and Pool Rooms, as well as our Conversation Room - to just totally hang out man. For a mere €6, all this can be yours. Joining the Phil was the best decision I’ve ever made - it’s given me the experience of a lifetime and I can’t wait to share it with all of you!

RYAN GRUNWELL

PRESIDENT

We are very trendy here at the Phil, so when the trend of electing narcissistic right-wing egomaniacs swept across the west we had to join in.

What we are left with is very much an Aldi brand version of Boris Johnson.

Ryan rose to the top using a very particular set of skills. Skills such as having the confidence to wear a suit four sizes too big for him, and being able to explain a concept to you for hours, without having any knowledge himself on said topic.

h i s to ry o f t h e p h i l THE UNIVERSITY PHILOSOPHICAL SOCIETY

G R A D U A T E S MEMORIAL BUILDING

The Phil has a long, illustrious and utterly ridiculous history. The University Philosophical Society, known then as the Dublin Philosophical Society, was founded in 1683 by philosopher and political writer William Molyneux. This makes the Phil, arguably, the oldest student society in the world. More on the “arguably” part later.

In 1902 we got a new home on library square in the Graduates Memorial Building (GMB). The Phil makes use of several rooms in the GMB. The Phil Convo Room is a room we use for post-debate receptions and is open to all students. It can be found on the ground floor to the left. Next door to the Convo room is the debate chamber, where every Thursday night we host lively debates about the important issues of the day.

The Phil was traditionally a paper reading society, however it also incorporated demonstrations of the latest science or mathematical developments of the time. Similar to the present day, the Phil was no stranger to drama . Most notably, in 1731, the society was excluded from the college after some of its members shot the junior dean.

Following nearly a century of expulsion from Trinity’s campus (we resided in the RDS in the meantime), the Dublin Philosophical Society reconvened in November 1842, under its original name. In 1843, the society changed its name to the Dublin University Philosophical Society before finally settling on the name, the University Philosophical Society in 1860.

In 1967, the Phil finally permitted females to be members of the society, and in 1981 the Phil merged with the college’s oldest women’s society, the Elizabethan Society in order to encourage more debate within the college.

The GMB continues to play a vital part in The Phil’s big mowwments, with guests such as Martin Scorsese, Joe Biden and Mary Berry being honored in the building’s debating chamber. Along with hosting an array of guests, The Phil has continued to produce and nurture some of the country’s top public speakers

HARRY HOGAN

REGISTRAR

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight. Gonna grab some afternoon delight.

My motto’s always been “When it’s right, it’s right”. Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night. When everything’s a little clearer in the light of day. And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway? Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up an appetite. Lookin’ forward to a little afternoon delight.Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite. And the thought of lovin’ you is gettin’ so excitin’. Skyrockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight

the g.m.b GROUND FLOOR

SECOND FLOOR

Phil Conversation Room

Pool and Snooker Rooms

Phil Council Room

Bram Stoker Room

Debating Chamber

FIRST FLOOR

THIRD FLOOR

Hist Conversation Room

Computer Room

Hist Committee Room

Resource Room

M

A

I

Hello!

If you’re reading this, then chances are that not only are you at least semi-literate, you’ve also joined the phunnest, most phantastic society on campus (Double win!).

I’m Oz, this year’s Vice President or “Mr. VP” to my friends and family. My job is ensuring that you phreshers have a great time in 335, or else! I’ll be lurking in front square and the GMB throughout freshers week, so feel free to come up to me to have a chat.

SHOULD I JOIN MAIDENS…?

Were you bad at sports as a child? Were you sometimes described as “sickly” or sometimes even “colicky”? Then I have the perfect competition for you. Now is your chance to show those bullies by flexing the greatest muscle of all; the MIND. If you is good with wordses then sign yourself up to the Phil Maidens competition, one of the highlights of Trinity’s society calendar.

Maidens is a debating competition specifically for those in any year who haven’t debated at a college level before. It’s a relaxed, fun introduction to debating with weekly rounds on topics ranging from politics to culture to science and everything in between, all culminating in a spectacular black tie dinner and chamber debate with fabulous prizes for the winner.

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NEVER DEBATED BEFORE? No problem. There’ll be debating trainings to help get you up to scratch throughout the competition, and my lovely assistants and I will be able to give you individual feedback after each round, and unlike regular competitive debating you’ll be given the motion of each debate a week in advance.

Joining maidens helped me gain lots of “friend(s)”, and maybe it can do the same for you, so sign up today!

WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE DEBATING? That’s also not a problem. Before every Thursday night chamber debate there’ll be a reception arranged by the hostess with the mostest (me) with free snacks for members, and even better, free conversation.

With your body sated, why not stick around and feed your MIND with some stellar debating on interesting topics organised by team sec, and then follow that up with another reception, except this time with wine and beer, and then dance the night away at the afters organised by team stew.

So go ahead, make my day and get involved with the best society on campus.

OZ RUSSELL

VICE PRESIDENT

In 2010 it was discovered that Raheny in North Dublin had the highest levels of lead in its water in the entire country. In some houses it was as high as 80 times the legal limit and the HSE warned that it was hindering the development of children’s brains. Oz Russell is a case study of one such victim. When standing nearby him, one can smell a mixture of rotting brain cells and the cranberry based beverage from his breakfast. His lack of ambition and general awareness of his surroundings make him an ideal Vice-President.

PREVIOUS GUESTS

Meghan Markle

Whoopi Goldberg

Joe Biden

Sadiq Khan

Mary Berry

Tim Cook

Helen Mirren

Al Pacino

Martin Scorsese

AT THE PHIL

FRESHERS WEEK

M O N DAY FREE BREAKFAST 9 AM // G.M.B Phil Convo

G.M.B RECEPTION 8 PM // G.M.B Phil Convo

TIE DYE WORKSHOP W/VISARTS 1 PM // The Pav

CARNIVLAW W/TCD ENTS 10 PM // Opium

T U E S DAY FREE BREAKFAST 9 AM // G.M.B Phil Convo

TRINITY VS UCD D E B AT E 4 PM // G.M.B Chamber

XXXTREME SPEED DAT I N G 2 PM // G.M.B Chamber

K A R AO K E W / D U PA & JAZZ SOC 6 PM // G.M.B Chamber

W E D N E S DAY FREE BREAKFAST 9 AM // G.M.B Phil Convo

B R A M PA P E R 4 PM // G.M.B Phil Convo

G.M.B BRUNCH W/ QSOC 1 PM G.M.B Phil Convo

P L AY P H I LT H Y 7 30 PM // Players Theatre

WITH THE PHIL

T H U R S DAY FREE BREAKFAST 9 AM // G.M.B Phil Convo I N T R O TO D E B AT I N G & WTF IS MAIDENS WORKSHOP 12 PM // G.M.B Phil Convo C O M E DY D E B AT E THIS HOUSE BELIEVES SIZE D O E S N ’ T M AT T E R 7. 3 0 P M / / G . M . B C h a m b e r C L U B P H I LT H W/ TRINITY ARTS FESTIVAL 10 PM // The Hub

F R I DAY FREE BREAKFAST 9 AM // G.M.B Phil Convo MORNING YOGA W/ YOGA SOC 10 AM // G.M.B Phil Convo B R A M PA P E R 2 PM // G.M.B Phil Convo NETFLIX AND PHIL 4 PM // G.M.B Phil Convo

debat es T E RM CARD FRESHERS WEEK COMEDY DEBATE THIS HOUSE BELIEVES SIZE DOESN’T MAT TER You know what they say, a poor craftsman blames his tool! In the age of body and sex positivity, we must confront harmful stereotypes and toxic masculinity. As college students, we’ve matured enough to be able to talk about our bodies in a constructive, intellectual manner - or have we? Come on down to the GMB this Thursday for a debate that, above all else, is gonna get cocky.

WEEK 1 THIS HOUSE WOULD LEGALISE SEX WORK Under current legislation, in Ireland it is illegal to buy or organize prostitution. These laws are aimed at reducing the exploitation of sex workers by traffickers and protecting the most vulnerable. Two years on from these laws taking effect, crimes against sex workers have almost doubled and only one buyer has faced reprecussions. Is the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Act 2017 doing more harm than good? Could legalisation be the way forward?

WEEK 2 T H B E L I E V E S T H A T P E A C E W I L L N O T P R E VA I L I N N O R T H E R N I R E L A N D Elected public servants abandoning their duties of representation. A tireless and passionate journalist murdered in cold blood. Civil society polarised and deeply divided along sectarian lines. This may sound like a dystopian fantasy never to be realised, yet it portrays the current state of affairs in the North today. With all the chaotic uncertainty that Brexit may soon bring, can we really say that there is a brighter future for the children of Northern Ireland?

WEEK 3 THIS HOUSE BELIEVES MEAT IS MURDER Many of us have spent our whole lives eating meat, believing that it was ‘natural’ and even ‘healthy ’. But as we learn more and more about how our food gets to our plate, the reality of the agricultural-industrial complex paints a pretty bleak picture. Even if we engage in ethical farming practices, what right do we have to kill another animal for our own pleasure, and how does our cavalier attitude towards animal welfare affect our own humanity?

WEEK 4 T H E L I F E R A F T D E B AT E : A RT S B LO C K V S . H A M I LT O N In some far off future (12 years from now, according to a recent UN report) climate change has ravaged Dublin, sea levels have risen higher than the rooftop of the GMB, and even your keep-cup can’t save you now! Due to austerity measures, there is only one liferaft available, and college societies and professors alike from the Arts Building all the way to the Hamilton must defend their worth in order to save their community. Come along and see who floats to the occasion!

WEEK 5 THIS HOUSE WOULD BURN BUNREACHT NA HEIREANN Recognising the “special place of the woman in the home”, the constitution remains today one of the most unyielding and conservative constitutions in Europe. The People’s Document is fraught with provisions and accommodations to appease those institutions and mores whose choke hold on Irish society has steadily declined in recent times. Designed to keep of DeValera’s vision of Ireland locked in place, the Bunreacht is exceedingly difficult to amend, requiring a binding referendum to give effect to any changes sought by elected parliamentarians. Did we mention it was written by a priest?

WEEK 6 TH BELIEVES THAT ENVIRONMENTAL TERRORISM IS JUSTIFIED Climate change is no longer a distinct threat, but a reality for our generation. Climate scientists are currently predicting that half of Earth’s species could go extinct by 2050. With a climate change denier in the White House and Bolsanaro deforesting the Brazilian Amazon faster than any predecessor, environmentalists are finding it increasingly difficult to enact the systemic change necessary to save our planet. This leads some to wonder, as we fight the greatest existential threat to humanity, ought we employ any means necessary?

WEEK 8 CAMBRIDGE DEBATE

WEEK 9 MAIDENS FINAL

W E E K 10 T H B E L I E V E S T H AT T H E GA R DA Í H AV E N O P L AC E AT P R I D E Pride celebrations find their origin in the Stonewall Riots of 1969 - a rebellion against police raids on a gay bar in Manhattan. Recently, stories of Gardaí forced to leave their jobs due to their sexuality in the past have come to light.

This relationship between law enforcement and the LGBT+ community can be easily forgotten in light of the current Gardaí’s purported progressiveness today - manifested in their appearance at Pride. All of this prompts the question: ‘Do the Gardaí have a place at Pride?’

W E E K 11 CURRENTS EVENTS DEBATE COLLAB W/ POLSOC W E E K 12 P H I L C H R I S T M A S PA R T Y !

AMELIA MELANSON SECRETARY

Melanson’s great dilemma is that she was born too late to a world that doesn’t care. This feminist, veganist, hippie is a farmer from Carlow’s worst nightmare. Her thought process may seem slow and inconsistent but don’t let that fool you…. she really likes talking about lobster. With a great taste in music and an even better taste in debating motions, Ameilia is here to save modern rhetoric, eat her Tang lunch and spit in other council members’ mouths. Its pretty hot.

COMING TO THE RACHEL BLOOM

AIDEN GILLEN

J EN N I E L I V I N G STO N

SLAVOJ ZIZEK

ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI

CY NTH IA NIXO N

SUSAN FALUDI

DANIEL DENNETT

YUNG LEAN

DANI RODRIK

ACTRESS, WRITER, COMEDIAN

DIRECTOR ‘PARIS IS BURNING’

FORMER WHITE HOUSE DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS

PULITZER PRIZE WINNING JOURNALIST

RAPPER

ACTOR

PHILOSOPHER

ACTOR & ACTIVIST

PHILOSOPHER & COGNITIVE SCIENTIST

ECONOMIST

PHIL THIS YEAR THE PIXIES

IAN ZIERING

HOWARD SHORE

RICHARD D WOLFF

OMAROSA

PUSSY RIOT

ALT ROCK BAND

OSCAR WINNING COMPOSER

REALITY STAR & FORMER TRUMP AIDE

‘SHARKNADO’ STAR

MARXIAN ECONOMIST

FEMINIST PROTEST PUNK BAND

I S K R A L AW R E N C E YA N I S VA R O U FA K I S BODY POSITIVE MODEL

FORMER GREEK MINISTER FOR FINANCE

NINA KRUSHCHEVA

KOJAQUE

POLITICAL SCIENTIST

RAPPER & PRODUCER

MEMBERS OF e m i ly t i e r n e y p ro t re asu re r R umoured t o be t he i nsp ira tio n b e hind Do ry in ‘ Find ing Ne mo’, E m ily Gr ac e B eat ri ce Penel ope T i erne y O’ Ha nlo n d o e s no t e njo y a rg uing with p e ople, nor does s he enj oy l oud s pe a king o r in fa ct a nything re la te d to d e b a ting. E m ily ’s hobbi es do i ncl ude s i t t ing ,q uie tly cle a ning a nd a vo id ing e ye co nta ct a t all c ost s.

A n i ncredi bl y s w eet and kind g irl, just d o n’ t p iss he r o ff o r she ’ ll sp it in y our salad. eoghan quinn p r o s t e wa r d Eoghan Qui nn i s not a pe rso n. E o g ha n Q uinn is a n exp e rie nce. The E o g han Quinn Experi ence™ w i l l s how yo u tha t E o g ha nn Q uinn ta ke s b e ing E uro -sce p tic t o a whole new l evel . H e does not ha ve his d o ub ts a b o ut the E U, b ut E o g ha n isn’ t fully c onv inc ed on t he exi s t ence of t he Euro p e a n co ntine nt. No o ne kno ws ho w this ma n e sc aped f r om t he pages of a Ros s O’Ca rro ll Ke lly b o o k a nd we ha ve no id e a ho w to p ut him bac k. p r o s t e wa r d j u l e s o to o l e Jul es i s f rom Cork , bu t if yo u’ ve e ve r ta lke d to he r yo u’ d a lre a d y know t hat .

She has t he k i nd of bub b ly p e rso na lity tha t so ra re ly ma ke s it th r ough t he hars h years of s econda ry scho o l. But d o n’ t yo u wo rry, we ’ ll so o n hav e t hat del i cat e f l ow er t rampl ed o n. Jule s d e cid e d she wa s g o ing to so cia lly c lim b in Tri ni t y by j oi ni ng t he P hil, a ta ctic a s o rig ina l a s inva d ing Fra nce via B elgium . m at t h e w m o r g a n p r o d e b at e s c o n v e n o r Mat t hew Morgan i s l ess inte re ste d in d e b a ting p hilo so p hica l q ue st ions as he i s i n get t i ng Super Ma rio O d ysse y fo r his Ninte nd o S witch. He is not as i nt eres t ed i n t ack l i ng the vo la tile g e o -p o litica l wo rld we live in a s he is in f i ndi ng anot her ‘dank ’ a nime vid e o to wa tch. No t so much a MC fo r the P hil as he i s one of Pet er Pan’s lo st b o ys, jo in us this ye a r to se e if he e ve r gr ows up? l i a m b r a dy p r o d e b at e s c o n v e n o r L i am B rady i s j us t s ome g uy fro m Ca lifo rnia who wa s lo o king fo r d irec t ions f or t he B ook of Kel l s , got p ushe d into a d e b a te a nd ha s b e e n to o p o lite to say anyt hi ng s i nce. T hi s A meri ca n S we e tie P ie will p ro b a b ly try tip p ing yo u if y ou t alk t o hi m. B ut you s t i l l s hould . Lia m just wa nts to he lp. Lia m just wa nts to go hom e.

AISLINN CARTY p r o d e b at e s c o n v e n o r A i s l i nn does n’t l ove you.

A i s l i nn will never lo ve yo u.

Aislinn is he re to debat e.

A i s l i nn w i l l debat e. I f yo u try a nd sto p Aislinn fro m d e b a ting she will s qui nt at you i n a mild ly a g g re ssive ma nne r a s if to sa y “ Why is t his f ool s t oppi ng me f rom deb a ting?”. Aislinn is o ur d e b a ting P ro -De b a te s C onv enor.

PHIL COUNCIL K E V I N LO F T US P R O S E C R E TA R Y Kevi n Lof t us does n’t s t ud y e co no mics, Kevi n Lof t us l i ves econo mics.

Every act i on he t akes i s p e rfe ctly ca lcula te d to ma ximise re turn o n inve st m ent . One coul d compare hi m t o t he le a d cha ra cte r in Ame rica n P sycho, ho we ve r his weapon of choice is kindness. Catch him taking over the world, one marshmallow s’more at a time.

ELLEN HIGGINS P R O S E C R E TA R Y Pro- Secret ary El l en Hig g ins’ cla im to fa me is whe n she, a M uc kr oss al umna, t ol d a group o f d isa d va nta g e d yo uths tha t the y sho uld be f or c ed t o do Iri s h “becaus e it’s like, such a n e a sy H1”. I n a no the r lif e, t his k ni t t i ng and cook i ng e nthusia st wo uld ha ve b e e n cha irp e rso n o f t he I r ish Count ry Women’s A s s ocia tio n. But in this life, she d o e sn’ t ca re to kno w what t hat is.

P RO L I B RARI A N k at h e r i n e p o t t e r Kat heri ne Pot t er i s t he p o ste r child fo r g o o d o ld Ca tho lic re p re ssion. A n out s t andi ng s t udent and citize n, she will o fte n excuse he rse lf fro m t he dinner t abl e t o s cream i nt o he r p illo w, Q ue e n’s 19 8 4 hit “ I Wa nt To Bre a k Fr ee”. One can s ee crack s i n her fa ca d e b y no ting he r co nsta nt me ntio ning of nudit y.

Kat heri ne i s hi di ng s om e thing .

FRANK WITTE p ro l i b rari a n Frank has a j ob i n a p izze ria . He is, if his Fa ce b o o k is to b e b e liev ed, a mus i ci an. H e has a d e g re e which will ma ke him e mp lo ya b le. He is not des perat e f or appro va l like the o the rs. He se e ms like a well adj us t ed, s oci al f unctio ning huma n b e ing .

Why wo uld suc h a pers on w oul d j oi n t he P hil? I ha ve no id e a . Co me o n Fra nk, yo u had opt ions.

HOPE HALPIN P RO SCH O O L S H ope H al pi n i s l i vi ng b re a thing p ro o f tha t sho rt ma n co mp lex is not excl us i ve t o men. Som e wo uld sa y tha t ma ke s he r a fe minist. Fa mo usly able t o s i ng “Come out ye b la ck a nd ta ns” in fo ur la ng ua g e s, a fte r t alking t o H ope f or more t han f i v e minute s yo u will le a rn she is co nvince d tha t she and s he al one, i s t he s ol utio n to b ring ing p e rma ne nt p e a ce in No rthe r n I r eland.

S U YA D A N A R p ro sch o o l s Su came a l ong w ay to g o to co lle g e he re a nd she ’s g o ing to m ake t he mos t of i t by never ev e r e ve r sto p p ing fo r a se co nd to b re a th a nd when in a convers at i on w i t h her y o u b e tte r b ring yo ur A g a me b e ca use S u d o e s not walk s he runs and t hi s year she is o n te a m scho o ls a nd my g o d if tho se kids ev en get one w ord i n i t w i l l b e b e ca use S u must b e sick tha t d a y a nd b ec ause… . . .

THE PHIL AND TRINITY ARTS FESTIVAL PRESENT

HANNAH WEIR

STEWARD

Rumoured to be the love child of Margaret Thatcher and George Micheal, this Iron Lady 2.0 Learned to speak exclusively by listening to the disquisitions of Reverend Ian Paisley. Her mission is to rid the world of debating hacks, American children and those who dare to take more than two free drinks in the Phil reception. If there’s one person there to make sure the show must go on, it’s our Steward, Hannah Weir.

P H I L Ssssssshhhh it’s okay kiddos!

Your cool aunt who sneaks you 20 quid every Christmas is here and absolutely buzzing to accept you into my warm warm WARM bossom.

I’m guessing your debs (or “prom” for our yanky doodle dandy’s out there) wasn’t everything you ever dreamed of. Your date shifted your childhood best friend and it was all a bit of a disaster really But forget all that!! Your life has taken a brand new turn! You’re in college now and a whole new Sally Rooney picture perfect universe! Well here it is kids,we’re the black tie GMB dwellers Hodges and Figgis warned you about- but we’re not all banging tables and Guiney’s glasses.

Every Thursday night after the rhetoric and guffaws of the chamber have well and truly dried up, the night is only really beginning!!

The bright lights and semi-reasonably priced allure of Doyle’s calling your name!!

What sticky floored night club will you find yourself entering on this occasion? What sweaty wall will you reach out and touch between your fingertips? What light from yonder strobe light breaks the ice?

But there’s EVEN MORE!!

P H U N COME WITH ME AND YOU’LL BE IN A WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION On Thursday night we’ll be hosting our own Philly Wonka extravaganza, with a candyland reception in the G.M.B before moving on to a night of debauchery in THE HUB CLUB PHILTH is the BIGGEST society run night of the year, so come take a dip in my chocolate river kiddiewinkles because the Phil and TAF are BLASTING this glass elevator wide open !

Come get your ticket from any smug maroon clad mongrels in front square and QUICKLY! They ’re selling like golden tickets out there.

Think we were done! Ha! Not quite. Honey you’ve got a big storm coming. Valentines Day is CANCELLED because you’ve got bigger and better balls to catch. PHIL BALL is only a hop, skip and an exam season away !

It’s all very exciting isn’t it? I’m tingling with anticipation already, or maybe that’s the rash I still have from l have from the last Club Philth, I’m not sure.

NATHAN O REGAN

TREASURER

If you should enter the GMB, do so at your own peril. For a spirit roams within these walls. A spirit that sustains itself on the coins of naive freshers & the sweat of Deliveroo cyclists. This spirit has no name, but when you hear the tin ding of the chamber bell, run. No one has ever seen the face of this spirit and lived to have a productive evening. The spirit places a curse upon its victims. A curse so terrible that they are compelled to spend the entire evening in the vicinity of George’s Street. Brave souls have tried tackling this spirit, but those people are dry shites & there’s a probably fine for that.

DEALS AND DISCOUNTS IFI €15 IFI Membership ( €5 off ) EVERY DAY in September & October 2019 & on Mondays ALL YEAR! €5.20 cinema tickets all day on Mondays ALL YEAR.

ZAMBRERO Burrito/Bowl + Water for €7.90, Americano/Latte/ Cappucino/Flat White for €2 & Any Burrito/Bowl for €6.50 (2pm-5pm).

CA P TA I N A M E R I CAS BUY 1 GET 1 FREE ON MAIN MEALS - (Monday - Friday), valid Student Id/ society card.

THE JUICE STORE €6 breakfast/lunch item and juice

WAGAMAMAS 20% off main menu, monday-thursday only WOWBURGER €9.95 Student Meal - 7 days a week !

EVERLEIGH FREE entry before 12.00am Sunday to Thursday BISON BAR & BBQ €9.95 Student Meal - (Monday - Friday 12pm - 5pm eat in only) valid Student Id/society card.

WORKMAN’S CLUB SOMEWHERE! FREE before 11pm

C O N N ’ S C A M E R A’ S Student Discount on all photo lab printing P I T T B R O S B B Q : € 8 meal deal D O R I A N B L A C K : 10% off Z I P Y A R D : 10% off T A N G O ’ S D R E S S H I R E : 10% off evening wear T I G H T S D E P A R T M E N T : 15% off K R U S T B A K E R Y : 15% discount I S M A S H : 10% off

PA B LO P I C A N T E €4.99 selected burritos in Aston Quay store after 2pm Mon-Fri and all-day Sat & Sun

S U S O : 25% off

SMOKIN BONES Student Deal: €6.95 Main and Side, €7.95 with a drink

M U J I : 10% off

BURRITOS AND BLUES € 5.50 for a main & a drink LITTLE ASS BURRITO €6 for a burrito/box/salad

T O W E R R E C O R D S : 10% off

L E O N : 15% off C A M I L E T H A I : 15% off B L A Z I N G S A L A D S : 10% off selected items L O L LY A N D C O O K S : 10% off

KATE MAHER

SCHOOLS CONVENOR

Kate’s future will play out like a great Shakespearean tragedy.

As of now she is a ‘woke’, cool, socialist, feminist with a bold ambition to make her country better. She fights the good fight and turns down evil law firms who wish to buy her soul. Come Act IV though, she will be offered the chance to take a Senate seat, she’ll give in and all her good will come to nought. She will spend the remainder of her days wearing irrelevant shoes, making irrelevant arguments, probably about kids or something, while she quickly fades into obscurity… Great pension though.

PHIL SPEAKS Hiya !

If you like bouncy castles, popcorn, helping young people build up their confidence, candyfloss, and/or being mocked by teenagers you will LOVE the P h i l ’s s c h o o l s o u t r e a c h programme.

Te a m S c h o o l s r u n e v e n t s a l l across Ireland with students from all backgrounds to teach public speaking, critical analysis and debating skills and we want you to be involved!

Public speaking can be a huge, debilitating fear for many people - unless you start early, in a s a f e e n v i r o n m e n t . Th i s i s w h a t the PhilSpeaks initative provides for young people who really need it.

Th i s i s w h e r e y o u c o m e i n . We can’t run our ambitious events (including a week long with amazing TAP students, t wo big fuck off competitions with big fuck off prizes and a big fuck off bouncy castle) without you. We need a lot of hands on deck to

bring these events to life.

Te a m S c h o o l s i s a l l a b o u t g i v i n g b a c k - I t ’s i n c r e d i b l y r e w a r d i n g for students and volunteers alike.

Yo u ’ r e n o t j u s t t e a c h i n g a s k i l l , y o u ’re i n s p i r i n g s t u d e n t s t o t h i n k a b o u t a p p l y i n g f o r Tr i n i t y o r j u s t for third level education generally.

Every year we meet people who were first introduced to the Phil when they were still in school m a y b e y o u ’re o n e o f t he m , m a y be you wish you had been one of t h e m . Th a t ’s w h y h e l p i n g o u t w i t h Te a m S c h o o l s i s p r o b a b l y (definitely) the only thing you’ll do in the Phil that you can tell your mam about with pride.

F i n a l l y, i f y o u ’re s t i l l n o t s o l d , just know that we’ll all spread vicious, life -ruining rumours that you hate kids if you don’t get involved. So check out our Facebook page or ask a member o f Te a m S c h o o l s h o w t o g e t started volunteering.

Can’t wait to see you there xox

LUCIE MCKNIGHT

DEBATES CONVENOR

Lucille McKnight came to this country as a bright eyed, albeit slightly bossy kid with dreams of becoming a secondary school teacher.Unfortunately she lasted less than a year in St Mary’s boys secondary school in Roscommon.

Being the only female under the age of thirty in the town, she attracted much attention before being driven out of town by jealous Nuns. She has returned to higher education to get her diploma in business. Join this broken spirit in her last years of freedom before she resigns to her fate of softly banging her head off her future desk in Permanent TSB.

COMPETITIVE D E B AT I N G Hello! My name is Lucie (Lucille to my friends) and I’m the Debates Convenor for the Phil.

first in your college essays to winning political arguments with your elderly relatives.

Competitive debating is one of the best ways you can get involved with the Phil. My team and I will organize trainings all year long for members, send teams to competitions all over Ireland, Europe, and the World; and organize three of the biggest debating competitions in Ireland! Whether you’re planning to be the next world champion, or just practice your public speaking, Team DC has something for everyone!

Debating is an integral part of the Phil and a great way to meet people from Trinity and tons of other societies, learn valuable skills, and travel all over the world!

WHY SHOULD YOU GE T I N V O LV E D ?

Debating is a great way to make friends and get involved with the Phil! Whether it’s prepping a speech with someone you just met, banter during a Maidens round, or pints after training, debating with the Phil is a great way to meet new people.

YO U’L L A LS O G E T T O T R AV E L! The majority of the competitions we attend are outside Dublin, meaning you’ll have the chance to travel with friends all over Ireland and the UK. In Michaelmas term alone, the Phil will send teams to Cork, Birmingham, and Oxford! Not to mention that this year’s world championships are being held in Thailand!

The skills you learn from competitive debate will take you far beyond the Phil and the GMB. Writing and giving speeches can help with everything from giving a stellar presentation in an internship to getting that

H O W C A N I G E T I N V O LV E D ?

MAIDENS Sign up for Maidens! Maidens is a multi-week first year competition and is the best way to great practice doing debates on loads of different topics. I had never done a single debate before maidens and look at me now!

DEB AT E T R AINING We also will have a weekly beginners training run by older debaters in the Phil to help you get a handle on all the basics.

INT ER NAL COMPE T IT IONS We’ll run three internal competitions open only to Phil members, one in Michaelmas term and two in Hillary term! These are super chill events to meet other phil members and get practice competing!

EXT ER NAL COMPE T IT IONS Finally, you can sign up for external competitions.

Sign ups are open to all Phil members and will be posted on Facebook a few weeks in advance.

Going to competitions is a great way to meet students from all over Ireland and take part in some of the Phil’s best events!

B RA M STO K E R C LUB JACK CULLEN

BRAM CHAIR

The colour black does not suit Jack Cullen. Now you may be thinking, that’s not at all funny & needlessly cruel. But don’t worry about it because Jack Cullen cannot read. He got into college when the woman from the Perch Cafe spilled coffee on him and as part of the settlement he was compensated with admission into Trinity. He works in a book shop but really only interacts with the Mr Men books. He will discuss literary works but only if they have been made into a BBC mini-series. He may be the chair of a paper reading society, but conveniently that role requires no reading at all. He’s a fair sound lad though.

Greetings Freshers! My name is Jack Cullen and I am the current Chair of the Bram Stoker Club. ‘Bram’, as it is affectionately called, is a sub-committee of the Phil and, in my opinion, the best! Named after the former Phil president, turned author, turned corpse, Bram is a paper reading club that is far removed from the chaos, confusion and madness that is university debating. When I first joined the Phil I gravitated towards Bram as it was a friendly and relaxed club I could go to every week and be able to listen to people talk about things that interested them.

The premise of our club is pretty simple; students are invited to present a paper on any topic that interests them, these are usually held around lunch time during the week. These papers can be about anything and past examples range from astrology; the history of LGBT people in Ireland or a short biography of Tonya Harding.

To top it all off, there is free tea and biscuits out of re-usable mugs! Bram also hosts panel discussions on a wide range of topics throughout the LONG college year. I hope to see you all around during the year!

Lots of Love, The Bram Fam (Jack, Umang, William and Casey)

I N T RO D U C I N G T H E

S P OT L I G H T S E RI E S We are delighted to introduce the SPOTLIGHT SERIES, an exciting new series of panel discussions here at the Phil, led by our Senior Member of Council, James. In a time where public discourse is often totally but fleetingly dominated by the hot topic of the moment, important issues all too often fall to the wayside.

The Spotlight Series aims to provide a platform to some of the most pertinent issues of today that are not necessarily receiving the attention they merit. The series will focus on the likes of direct provision, reproductive rights in Northern Ireland, and the (in)accessibility of university, to name a few. By directing focus to these topics, we hope to create a productive and sustainable conversation around them, and even effect much needed action.

JAMES SPILLANE

S. M. C

Everytime James Spillane walks into a room “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate plays in everyones’ head... I mean I presume it happens to everyone. His job is to make sure everyone plays nice and none of you snowflakes get too sad over our spicey discourse. He gives hugs like a teletubbie, grows facial hair like a Beegee and his eyes are dry from tears he’s shed. I don’t know why he cries, but it just makes him all the more alluring. Take me James.

LEON Restaurant 17 Crown Alley, Temple Bar Dublin 2 www.leon.co/ie @leonirel

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AOIFE CRONIN

LIBRARIAN

We at the Phil use only the finest of everything, and that is certainly true of PR princess, Aoife Croinin. Aoife is a big name in the industry and is credited with designing the modern cigarette box in a bid to sell more cigarettes.

You may recogniser her signature style in classics such as “Man with missing lung”, “Throat with hole” and who could forget “Toilet bowl filled with blood”.

Aoife is also credited with causing the 2008 financial meltdown and generally hating other women.