Historacle 247 The Hist Freshers 2016

HISTORACLE 247th Session

Letter From The Freshers Week Auditor Timetable Editor Alex Puiu Contributers Eunice Collins Annabel O’Rourke Ronan Mac Giolla Rua Oisin McElhinney Campbell Higle Photography The Hist www.thehist.com

3 5 Introduction Guests This Year 6 7 Debates This Chamber Term Debating 8 10 Competitive Maidens Debating 11 14 Getting Involved The Burke Sessions 15 16 Other Events The Committee 17 18 The G.M.B. History Of The Hist 22 23

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Letter from the Auditor WELCOME, AND WELL DONE ON GETTING INTO IRELAND’S ONLY UNIVERSITY! After six years of homework, annoying

up Workmans on a Wednesday night,

workshops, club nights, competitions,

teachers, and hours spent studying for

Oscar Wilde was always on the pull in

and trips around the country almost

exams, you’re finally ready to enjoy

Prhomo, Douglas Hyde would gorge on

every weekend. There’s sure to be

four years of freedom at college. That

discounted burritos at Little Ass, Mary

something for everyone at The Hist!

is of course, until the hangover that is

Harney was rarely seen without a copy

your first week of lectures sets in, and

of The Economist swiped from the Con-

This magazine is an introduction to our

you find out you may actually have to

versation Room, and Theo Wolfe-Tone

wonderful society, and if you want to

do some work. Well, at least until you

was well-known for sneaking bottles of

have as much fun as we do during your

realize you can skip lectures, cram for

Revero from the receptions.

time at college, then pop along to our

exams, and spend most of your time

stand during Freshers’ Week, or call

with a student society. And what better

But what do we actually do? Well, our

society to join than one of the worlds

primary activity are our debates every

oldest and largest - The Hist!

Wednesday. Come along to hear politicians, academics, actors and musi-

The Hist, founded in 1770, is the

cians address The Hist each week. Our

world’s longest running student socie-

more famous guests also give special

ty, and it hasn’t changed much over the

lectures followed by a Q&A. As well as

past 247 years. Bram Stoker used to hit

this though, we hold panel discussions,

into the GMB any time during the year.

Ronan Mac Giolla Rua Auditor

The Hist’s Freshers Week Debate

This House Would Get High

The GMB, 7.30PM (Doors 7PM)

TuesdaY

Monday

All Day: Slushies & Candy Floss 10am: Free Breakfast 12- 4PM: CIRCUS with VDP & Spin1038

All Day: Slushies & Candy Floss 10am: Free Breakfast 12.30pm: Cupcake Decorating 2pm: Speed Friending

Celebrity Dunk Tank (12-2pm) Gladiator Tournament (2-4pm)

with Food&Drink

with Comedy Soc, Trinitones & More

8pm: Reception 10.30pm: CÓISIR @ DISTRICT 8

6.30PM: GUM CRAWL CHALLENGE

with Cumann Gaelach, SUAS

& Trinity Ents

Wednesday

Thursday

All Day: Slushies & Candy Floss 10am: Free Breakfast 12-2pm: Cacophony: A Musical

All Day: Slushies & Candy Floss 10AM: Free Breakfast 12-2PM: Art & Chill

Showcase

with Trinity Arts Workshop

with Trinitones & Trinity Singers

2pm: Intro to Debating Workshop 5pm: Intro to the Hist 6pm: Free Dinner 7.30pm: THIS HOUSE WOULD GET HIGH @ THE CHAMBER, GMB 9PM: Reception 10.30PM: Workmans

Friday All Day: Slushies, Candy Floss 10am: Free Breakfast 1 -4PM: Mario Kart Tournament with DUCSS

TIME TO CHILL AT THE PAV. SEE YOU THERE HISTIES.

GMB

2pm: Discussion Panel - Sexuality, Empowerment and Who Really Runs the World 5pm: How to Drink Wine & Make Friends with French Soc

with Spin1038

4Pm: Derby of Rhetoric

@THE CHAMBER,

1-3PM: Puppy Room

2-4pm: Beauty Bar

with Peata House

@ THE CHAMBER , GMB

6PM: HARRY POTTER QUIZ @ DOYLE’S

The Hist’s Freshers Week Timetable 2016 Find us in the Hist Convo Room, 1st Floor -GMB!

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INTRODUCTION SO COLLEGE IS STARTING, THE FRESHER’S WEEK STANDS ARE OVERWHELMING AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. DON’T WORRY WE’RE HERE TO HELP. LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THE HIST! Every year, the Hist organises a variety of events: from debating nights and competitions to social events and fun gatherings! You’ll find out about our main debating opportunities in the following pages. But there are plenty of other cool and interesting stuff we do each year! Just go like or follow us on social media to know all the cool stuff we do!

A

s one of the biggest societies in Trinity, the Hist is a place where students from all over college can come together to do what students do best. Talk and make the most of free “refreshments”. Whether you are new to debating, a school’s champion or just up for a great year then the Hist is the place for you. You can hone or uncover your debating skills by taking part in our Maidens Competition and coming along to our Debating Workshops. On top on that we have Intervarsity Competitions (IVs), Schools, R&L and countless other ways for you to throw yourself into college life and make friendships that will last a lifetime.

And even if all you want is a place to sit and chat then let us introduce you to the comfy couches in the Conversation Room.

O

ur Fresher’s Week schedule is packed, as is our year. Travel with us to compete in Ireland and abroad (accommodation costs are often covered for freshers), celebrate Christmas with us at our annual and infamous Histmas Party and meet our incredible guests at our Wednesday night debates. Our R&L in Hilary Term gives Freshers the chance to take centre stage. They set their own motion, invite their own guests and run a debate for themselves. Get involved with the Hist and challenge yourself to defend, discuss and maybe even change your views on the world.

WAYS TO KEEP IN TOUCH

FACEBOOK.COM/THEHIST.TRINITY

@THE_HISTAGRAM

@THEHIST

YOUTUBE.COM/USER/TCDHIST

WWW.THEHIST.COM

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GUESTS THIS YEAR PATTI SMITH

INFLUENTIAL PUNK SINGER-SONNGWRITER

SEAN BEAN

EMMY AWARD WINNING ACTOR

DAVID O’SULLIVAN

AMBASSADOR OF THE EU TO THE US

JOHN PILGER

EMMY AND BAFTA AWARD WINNING FILM-MAKER

IMELDA MAY

SINGER-SONGWRITER AND PRODUCER

ROSANNA DAVISON

ACTRESS, MODEL, AND FORMER MS WORLD

PAT COX

FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT

KATHERINE LYNCH

COMEDIAN AND T.V. PERSONALITY

SARAH KOENIG

JOURNALIST, AND HOST OF “SERIAL”

THE RUBBERBANDITS

ARTISTS AND COMEDY HIP-HOP DUO

PATRICK WOLF SINGER-SONGWRITER

NICK CLEGG

FORMER DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER OF THE UK

CHRIS RIDDELL

ILLUSTRATOR AND UK CHILDRENS LAUREATE

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8

THIS TERM

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AT THE HIST

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WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAMBER DEBATE CHAMBER DEBATING ROCKS! WHY? IT’S ON CAMPUS (IN THE GMB CHAMBER) AND YOU GET THE MOTION A WEEK IN ADVANCE!

On Wednesday nights, we gather in the Chamber (the superb

...Only to re-enter five minutes later, having had the oppor-

room situated in the heart of the GMB) to debate the motion

tunity to take selfies to their hearts desire with our fabulous

we’ve decided on for that week (check the Term Card for more

(and often famous) guest speakers. This brings us on to the

info!); a tradition we’ve carried on since the 18th century and

main event:

perhaps the most important of our events every week.

Public Business

Although once or twice these evenings have ended with a full on duel after a disagreement during these debates, the for-

This is when things really get kicking, The chair, who can be

mat is usually standard and broken down into two parts. The

identified as the person in the big chair, will call the house to

first of these is:

order and the Record Secretary (still Meg), will read the ‘min-

Private Business

utes’ of the last weeks debate. More often than not, these minutes detail, not the specifics of the deep argumentation from the previous week’s speakers, but a laundry list of the

Before the debate begins, we have Private Business, during

most ridiculous recent college events (see previously ‘the

which matters of the society are discussed. Our Auditor Ro-

provost controls the weather’).

nan invites an ordinary member to take the Chair for their five minutes of fame. The Record Secretary Meg then reads

After this one sided witty repartee, the debate begins! The

the Minutes of the last meeting, however since no one really

speakers are a mix of students and guests, with students

cares about that, she’ll usually just take shots at committee

speaking for 7 minutes and guests speaking for 10. Even if

members. Finally, Jack, our Librarian, opens the floor up to

you’re not speaking though, you still get to participate, as you

questions.

can stand up and offer points of information from the floor.

At the end of the debate, the motion is put to the house, and

Anyone can use this opportunity to berate committee, more

the chair gives their own speech. We all then head upstairs to

often though, this time is used for motions of congratula-

enjoy the reception!

tions for our members who have done well at recent debating competitions, or for bringing petitions for the formation of

We’re always on the lookout for fresh-faced freshers to (sac-

sub-committees dedicated to the thankless task of evaluating

rifice) speak, so if you see a debate that interests you, sign up

local establishments for our next night out. After the hubbub

in the conversation room, on facebook, or by emailing Grace

is finished the committee adjourn the room...

at corrsec@thehist.com.

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COMPETITIVE DEBATING

COMPETITIVE DEBATING IS WHAT THE HIST DOES TO SHOW THE REST OF THE WORLD THAT WE ARE THE MASTERS OF ARGUMENTATION

Competitive debating is for all you adrenaline junkies out

national player of the week has gone and started a conflict;

there. For the nonconformists. For the people who want to

if you’re luckier, they’ll be as clueless as you, and you can

run a mental marathon and for anyone seeking a confidence

becmoe fast friends having fun using made-up terms such as

boost. Or anyone just looking for something fun to do really.

“discourse” and “narrative”.

It might be intimidating to begin with, but once you’ve taken the first few steps you won’t be able to get enough and you’ll

Never fear though, we’d never send you into battle com-

be able to hold your own in any argument.

pletely unarmed, so as well as a partner, we’ll equip you with that helpful skill: knowledge. We do this through our weekly

Competitions run all year round in far-off locations such Cork,

workshops, run by some of the finest debaters in the country.

Galway, Belfast, and UCD. They’re all two day competitons,

In fact, if competitive debating is your thing, then the Hist is

and we all go off to party for the weekend, (with some oc-

the perfect place to start, as we’re one of the best Irish insti-

casional debating thrown in). We even host our own competi-

tutions. We’ve reached the final of the European Champion-

tions, the Trinity Womens’ Open and Trinity IV (thats interva-

ships three out of the past six years, with Michael and Dee

sity, not the Roman numeral for four!) on the 26-28th January.

(pictured above), narrowly missing out on winning the whole

So even if debating isnt your scene, come along to volunteer

thing just a few weeks ago.We haven’t done to badly at the

and avail of all the free food and friends.

World Championships either, reaching the Quarter-Finals for the past two years in a row.

The way these competitions go down is like this: you find out what position you’re speaking in, ie whether you are on the

The first competition of the year, is a one-day competiton just

proposing or opposing side, and then you get told the mo-

for novices, aptly named the UCD Novice, on the 6th October,

tion. You then have 15 minutes to prepare your case. While

followed by the actual UCD IV on the 7th and 8th. There’ll

that might sound a bit daunting, luckily you’ll have a partner

be sign up sheets for these in the conversation room, and on

to share in this whole experience with. If you’re lucky, they

facebook, and you can email Peter at dc@thehist.com with all

might actually know something about whatever major inter-

your questions.

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MAIDENS

COMPETITION NEWBIES! WELCOME! ONE NEW COLLEGE DEBATER WILL WIN THIS COMPETITION AND AN INTERNSHIP WITH A PRESITIGIOUS LAW FIRM - BECAUSE ONLY YOU GUYS CAN ENTER! READ ON, LEARN MORE… Ever lost an argument? Ever known you

Mason Hayes and Curran! Even if you’re

worry, you’ll be up against debaters the

were right but lacked the skill to ex-

not looking for an internship or eternal

same level as you and some class non-

press yourself? Ever wanted to prove

glory, runners up go on to bond in the

judgemental judges, which is a lovely

to someone that the BFG is a film about

pub, with a nice glass of improved argu-

way to ease yourself into higher stand-

overcoming prejudice rather than just

ments to wash down those sassy points

ard debates.

an entertaining movie? Designed for

of information (though by the time

those who have never debated at col-

Maidens ends it’s unlikely you’ll want

No need to worry about time pressure

lege level previously, this competition

to leave the comfy couches of the GMB

either! You’ll be given the topic a week

teaches you how to defend the issues

to wrestle for a spot at the local pub).

ahead of your round, giving you lots

that matter to you!

Come try out at these weekly rounds,

of time to think about the motion and

organized by the lovely Rec Sec Depart-

come up with a cool five minutes of in-

Buff up your argumentative skills while

ment (aka Meg, Kevin and Rory). It’s a

tellectual banter (don’t worry if you’re

competing for the grand prize of a paid

great way to meet new people. If you’re

under time in your first rounds, quality

internship with the fantastic Law Firm

nervous about public speaking, don’t

over quantity!). Afterwards, no matter how you place in the round, you’ll be given one-to-one feedback from the previously mentioned judges, many of who started college debating through this very ompetition, who will be focused on helping you improve.

Sign up by emailing Meg at recsec@ thehist.com or just drop your name in at the Freshers Week stand when signing up for membership!

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R&L So you’ve gone to a Wednesday night debate, done all your Maid-

While the R&L also grants you guaranteed entry to our debate

ens rounds, and even joined us for a night in Workman’s, but

that evening, the best part of all this, is that sometime after

you’re still struggling to get to know people? Well then the R&L is

Christmas, we decide that you all have somehow become ex-

the event for you! Held at 6.30pm every Wednesday, it offers an

perienced enough to run a debate yourselves. So we hand over

oppotunity to mingle with Freshers and Committee alike.

the reins to the Freshers to run your very own debate, organising everything from guests to the night out afterwards. Its one of

“What does R&L stand for?”, I hear you ask. “And why is it called

the most fun nights of the year, and you get to say it was all down

that?” Well. we know it stands for Records and Libraries, but after

to you!

that, we’re as clueless as you. Like many things here at the Hist, its meaning has gotten lost over the past 247 years. We do know what its for though!

The R&L is an event specifically for Freshers to get to know more about the society and the people in it. Run by Meg, Rory, and Kevin it features the perfect mix of free food and Hist gossip. Its also the perfect chance to use your new-found confidence to chat up that attractive debater you spotted in your maidens’ round.

SCHOOLS DEBATING

Want to get involved in debating but too nervous/confused/lazy?

As well as that, we have two entirely in-house competitions: the

Look no further than our Leinster Schools Competition! Rounds

Hist Schools Mace in early February, and the Hist Girls Mace in

are on almost every Tuesday evening, and a bunch of secondary

early December. These are much more like the university compe-

school kids do all the work of actually debating for you. All you

titions the competitive debaters among you will come to know

have to do is sit there and decide who won. It’s a big competition

and love (in a Stockholm Syndrome kind of way), taking place

run by the Hist and the L&H of UCD (boo, hiss etc.) from Septem-

over two days. Basically, we take over the whole GMB and put

ber to March, involving over 450 students, and its the perfect way

on a wonderful weekend of discourse and merriment for all the

to get involeved without actually doing any debating yourself.

students and volunteers.

Coming to help us judge these debates is arguably the best way

The focus is not only on the top schoolie debaters of Ireland bat-

to learn about debating, make brand shiny new Hist friends (we

tling it out, but everyone having a ball, not to mention a bunch of

don’t bite, promise), and earn the eternal and undying gratitude

free food. We always need people to help out at these, whether

of the librarian, Jack, and the pro-librarians, Ruth and Kayleigh.

it’s judging rounds or just carrying stuff and helping set up. It’s

Also a bunch of bright-eyed students will look up to you, think

been said that the strongest friendships are forged in the fires of

you’re super mature and possibly even ask you for advice. They

desperately trying to haul hundreds of pies back to the GMB for

don’t know better, bless their hearts. There are also sometimes

a debating competition together. Or words to that effect. Either

baked goods involved, but don’t tell anyone I told you that.

way, it’s an absolute blast.

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THE BURKE SESSIONS Here at the Hist, we love nothing more than a traditional, twosided debate. There’s something so fulfilling about tearing another person’s ideology to shreds, while simultaneously demonstrating that you are infallible, and anyone who dares to suggest otherwise is, put simply, wrong. Experience has taught us, however, that strictly refusing to engage with other people’s viewpoints is not always the best way to solve a problem. This is where The Burke Sessions come in.

SO YOU’RE TIRED OF DEBATING AND LOOKING FOR AN ACTUAL DISCUSSION FOR A CHANGE. BUT YOU STILL WANT TO SEE SOME GREAT GUESTS? THEN THE BURKE SESSIONS ARE JUST FOR YOU!

The Burke Sessions are a series of speaker panels that have been running in the Hist for the past few years. Previous Burke Sessions have covered topics such as Irish Feminism in the 21st

Our upcoming panels are shaping up to be bigger and better than

Century, Mental Health in Ireland, and much more. Featuring

ever before. With panels planned on Anti-Establishment Politics,

guests and student speakers, these panels offer a more infor-

Disability Activism and the Travelling Community, the Burke Ses-

mal, constructive format than traditional debates. They give

sions are set to have their best year yet. If you have ideas for

speakers a chance to share and develop ideas, providing the

Burke Panels that you’d like to see, or if you’d like to get involved

perfect format to get to the metaphorical heart of today’s im-

in organising them, talk to Sinéad (the friendly ginger girl who

portant issues.

laughs too loudly) or email histburkesessions@gmail.com.

DERBIES OF RHETORIC

Held on average once a month in the Conversation Room, these allow Hist members to deliver a paper on literally any topic that is of interest to them regardless of how eccentric or unknown it may be. Previous Derby speeches include the influence of the Godfather on the real-life Mafia, the future of commercial space exploration and depictions of women in fairytales (pretty diverse material, as you can see).

The setting for Derbies is informal; speeches can be up to seven minutes and afterwards the audience is given the chance to ask the speaker questions on their topic – often the most entertaining and heated part! There is also a drinks and snacks reception afterwards. These events are open to all Hist members, no matter how involved they are in the society and are always popular, thanks to their frequently funny and interesting (read: weird) subjects!

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INAUGURAL The highlight of the year is the Inaugural Meeting, where the Auditor delivers a paper on a topic of their choosing, followed by a number of responses from distinguished guests. Previous years have included former US Secretary of Defence William Perry, Feminist Philosoper Judith Butler, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (pictured). Not-so distinguished guests can still dress up in black-tie, gorge themselves on the lavish reception, and enjoy a night out in some of Dublin’s fanciest establishments.

This year the Inaugural will be taking place on Monday 10th October, and our Glorious Leader Ronan will be delivering a paper on “The Future of the European Union” (aka Will Britain Ever Leave??), and the keynote speaker will be David O’Sullvan, Ambassador of the European Union to the United States, and former Secretary-General of the European Commission.

Well done you, you got into Trinity! A place where

some coffee and biscuits from our stash in the

poetry readings and wine tastings are the norm, Trin-

committee room. Even better, a fresher you met

ity is the perfect spot to revel in your new college

the night before who is now officially your best

student status and enjoy embracing the new sesh

friend in the entire world might buy you a VitHit

trends.

from the Buttery - the solution to the world’s problems, or at the very least to your banging

The Hist happens to be a pretty good place to start

E N T S

headache.

the sesh - see our Wednesday night receptions, the perfect place to grab a glass of wine and head over to

The Hist also regularly likes to get glammed up.

that fellow fresher you’ve been eyeing up since your

Some highlights include: The Maiden’s Final -

last Maiden’s round. You’ll bond over the next few

freshers night to shine, the Hist Ball - a night of

glasses of wine and your witty banter which seems

debauchery where naggins will be sneaked and

to deteriorate further into quality trinity wanker con-

cover photos will be taken, and the AGM, cel-

tent after each glass. After the reception, the Hist will

ebrating the end of Session 247, or as we like to

bring you to places you could never have even im-

call it, the year of Sesh 24/7.

agined: the Czech Inn - a magical, mysterious place that Trinity students have a tendency to take-over,

Annabel, our Ents Convenor here at the Hist,

often in Black Tie, Doyle’s - Trinity’s home away from

can’t wait to “entertain” you with her jam packed

home where you can dance like nobody’s watching,

Freshers Week and a myriad of fun events

and Workman’s, a place where the music is good and

throughout the year. She also regularly likes to

the cocktails are cheap.

bring us on the sesh outside of Dublin - join us on our weekend trips to Cork, Galway, and other lo-

The night could take you many places but one thing’s

cations outside the Pale where getting twisted is

for sure, we know where it will eventually lead you -

the priority, debating is the bit on the side. She’s

the Hist Convo Room, the perfect place to sleep off

even bringing us to Budapest - be prepared for

the sesh and the undeniable hangover. If you’re lucky

bath parties, hostel takeovers, and mysterious

a nice committee member might even bring you

pub crawls on our reading week trip in February.

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COMMITTEE OF THE HIST

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RONAN MAC GIOLLA RUA AUDITOR

Ronan Mac Giolla Rua is as complicated as his surname’s spelling. This Rick Astley look alike hasn’t come to terms with his own whiteness yet, but we’re hopeful. The closest thing he can do to hip hop is Irish dancing, but at least he can claim to be keeping it ‘reel’. His impeachment has since been called for due both to his mansplaining feminism and being a Social Democrat. As auditor he has done no auditing. In fact no auditor has in a long time, they’ve been too busy being chairpeople of the Hist.

Keep it Reel Rua.

PAUL MOLLOY TREASURER

Paul is a lovely guy who puts his heart and soul into the Hist. He’s probably too nice to be interesting, right? Wrong! This year’s treasurer’s dark jokes and wild nights out are even funnier because of his deceptively calm, smiling demeanour. We’ve all fallen asleep during lectures but some might say that sleeping all night in a Church is going too far (Not Paul!). On the bright side, he will be saving us money on accommodation. Seriously though, if you need your finances sorted, this is the guy to talk to. Contact his burner phone, discount for cash payment.

GRACE CONWAY

CORRESPONDENCE SECRETARY This sesh-hound ‘graces’ us with her presence on committee. We even have a song to how Amazing Grace is. As a theology student she asks hard questions like “if Mary gave birth to Jesus, and Jesus is the lamb of God…did Mary have a little lamb??”. She consumes more pears than several African countries combined and has more costumes than the Abbey Theatre. Like any good Correspondence Secretary, she’s bubbly, efficient and a pleasure to be around. Useful qualities for inviting guests, not to mention wining and dining them.

MEG BEARE

RECORD SECRETARY Meg is recognisable from her epic blonde hair and hilarious speeches during ‘Minutes’ before each debate. Her hobbies include cleaning the committee room, cleaning the committee room, and cleaning the committee room. She would have other hobbies, but no one has ever successfully finished her first one. She brings the Hist to art museums, wears sundresses and can always drop some serious sociology knowledge. As Records Secretary she does in fact go through Hist Records, but if you’re seeking her out look no further than the Maiden’s Competition she’s runing.

ALEX PUIU CENSOR

You may not see Alex behind the Censor camera (Censor= PR Officer), but here’s what he’s like. He’s a Flamboyant Bram Stoker who spends his summers designing Hist logos, touring Europe and wishing college would start again so he could have some free time. He is no foreigner to the eccentric, he’s just for- he’s just eccentric. He recently learned that water boarding is actually a form of torture... not a sport…. His major talent is singing songs to which he knows neither the lyrics nor melodies. He’s still better than Ireland at the Eurovision!

JACK KENNEDY LIBRARIAN

Jack has given up his promising career as a Calvin Klein model to join Hist Committee. His pet peeves include sexism, racism and people mocking his height. This 12 year old won the Maynooth novice final and ate his spice bag from a trophy in Charlie’s at 4am! Seriously though, Librarian is meant to run school’s debates - not speak in them (also, yep, we do have a library). He has publically declared his intention to be the first man to eat a spice bag in space. But he’s copyrighted the term “Space Bag”, so don’t try stealing his idea.

PETER O’DONOVAN DEBATES CONVENOR

This Debates Convenor is much like Gandalf. He is a mysterious tall gentleman who takes us on magical adventures to foreign lands. Like UCD, Cork and Galway. He even offers to transport us all there so we can debate. He makes crash appear for non-Dublin debates, sometimes at the cost of sacrificing his own mother to the cause of finding breakfast for hungry college students. You may hear us call him POD. You may think we’re using his initials, but really it’s a Game of Thrones reference. (Watch it now, thank us later).

A VERY SHORT INTRO INTO THE LIVES OF THE VARIOUS MEMBERS OF THE HIST AND THEIR RESPONSIBILITES.

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ANNABEL O’ROURKE EVENTS CONVENOR

Annabel is an abslu bebo stunnah 5 life!! As Events Convener she’s the social to the our ism. She’s been planning to make Fresher’s Week a week long ‘Back To Wezz’ event that the Hist will never recover from. None of us have had the heart to tell her Wezz has been closed for years. One of the founders of the Histerhood, she is a strong advocate for hoodies - I mean histies. They’re functional as well as fashionable, much like Annabel herself. Or maybe it was fashionable but not able to function, who knows?

RIONA MORRIS EQUITY OFFICER

Riona is the local GMB Disney princess. She keeps the peace between us all as Equity Officer, listens to cheesy 90s pop and guest stars on My Little Pony. 247 isn’t the only session Riona’s involved in, but you’ll work that out in Chaplin’s later. She has been called the cupcake of humanity because she is sweet, tasteful and warm. Despite this, Disney declined to make her movie. Apparently, there’s already a movie about a beautiful girl who works hard, dances at balls and rides off in a carriage. We think college balls might have a slightly different one though!

DERMOT DAVERN

SENIOR MEMBER OF COMMITTEE Tipperary Water helped to smuggle Dermot past the border and into Dublin when he was a child. He went on to become a yolo-ing, froyo-eating Histie. His role as Senior MC is to work out which MC is meant to be cleaning, buying goodies for the weekly receptions and which MCs are hiding. Some say he ran for committee just to get a GMB key. In his defence, it’s a good 20 minute trek from D4tress to Trinity, so really that’s understandable. Plus his Butler left hIm for a part in Jeeves and Wooster, so he needed a pick me up.

EVA BARRETT PRO-TREASURER

Eva Is a sweet soul trapped in the body of a sweet college student. She’s still unclear if the auditor is a ghost or not. She is a pro and she is a treasure but actually the role of Pro-Treasurer is to help the Treasurer. It’s confusing I know. How a health science student managed to find her way to the GMB confuses MANY of us, but her seshabilities were proven to us last Fresher’s Week in the gumball challenge where she allegedly ate an entire lemon covered in toothpaste. Good luck Freshers of 2016.

You’ll need it.

EAMONN SWEENEY

PRO-CORRESPONDENCE SECRETARY Eamonn (Pronounced Ayyyy Mon) is the ultimate BESS bro. He can bluff an entire conversation about sport for almost five minutes. But don’t let that fool you. He takes after his uncle Todd. He hangs around barber shops, singing. He’s also really into fonts. He thinks Times New Roman is for boring old married couples. Hit him up if you want to talk italics. But if you’re looking to settle down watch this one. His libertarian parenting skills are lethal. Literally. Taxes are theft, but murder is a defence not a crime #FreeThePeopleEndTheMarkets.

SEAN O’DEORAIN

PRO-CORRESPONDENCE SECRETARY Sean puts his revolutionary principles into practice. This summer, he left Facebook to escape his capitalIst overseers and disappeared to France. Some say he was rediscovering socialism, others that he was running from MI6 who had caught up with his militant trade union networks. One thing we are sure of, however, is that he’s brought home a list for ... some very interesting guests. Rumour has it he was an hour late to his economics exam and once left his keys in the door of the GMB, along with his wallet and self-esteem. He got two out of three back.

MARK HENNESSY

PRO-CORRESPONDENCE SECRETARY Mark was originally named Mark Spencer but his belief in the free market led him to selling his name.

Most of his time is spent beating people at chess and staying friends with his ex-girlfriends. He made his mark on the Hist by being declared Would-Be-Pokemon-Champion Runner Up! He hasn’t caught Pikachu but he’s playing the long game. Speaking of games, Mark managed to break his ankle in three places at the Hist-Phil football match and still stay for the whole match! You won’t meet a manlier man. Apart from maybe outside the GMB, but we’ve never looked.

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RORY O’SULLIVAN

PRO-RECORD SECRETARY Rory is your typical college student. That is, if your typical college student were a 60-year-old man in a Cork pub. He enjoys playing the fiddle, a quiet pint and hating on the British. But we don’t to hold that or the fact that he won Phil Maidens against him. Partly because we need the members (jk not jk) and partly because he tends to lose trophies the night he wins them. He claims his book about the hat that makes you infinitely attractive is a work of fiction – but we think it’s an autobiography.

KEVIN SMITH

PRO-RECORD SECRETARY We would joke about Kevin, but his life is a joke. Despite his haircut, the only recruit Kevin admits to being is a sesh recruit. Any quoting of Gerry Adam’s Twitter page is entirely coincidental. His speeches are like Melania Trump’s in that way. Like her, he began his modelling career at the tender age of 16 on a table in the Museum Building Library but gave it all up to pose beside Trump and plot the fall of modern day America. So far, Kevin’s plan is to let the States continue to do exactly what they are doing now.

HANNAH BOWMAN PRO-CENSOR

Hannah Bowman is a woman of many skills. She won the Wolfe Tones Competition. She speaks Italian. She’s friendly. She won a Hist election without even being eligible to vote in it. In fairness, some credit has to be given to her fantastic surname. Not voting for Bowman is like not voting for Strongbow or Britney Spears or Shakespeare. It just isn’t done. She has some unusual views about social media but don’t challenge her on them, she will debate you into agreement. Possibly in Italian. We’re all hoping to uncover the enigma that is Hannah.

EUNICE COLLINS PRO-CENSOR

Eunice comes off as your typical south sider. Some day she will hold a gaff with super soaker and Defend the Indefensible. But be wary, she’s constantly looking for people to set up with her older brother. So far the leading contenders are Meg, Blenn or both. Her Dad is Michael Collins and she follows his lead. If you care to join our rebellion to overthrow Ronan, she’s the one to talk to about Guerrilla warfare. Or maybe it was Guerrilla advertising. Eunice’s intense eye contact may seem like she’s flirting with you, sadly though, she’s not. That’s just her.

KAYLEIGH NEWCOMB PRO-LIBRARIAN

Sweet, sharp and smooth all at the same time. How does one describe Kayleigh? She has a warm heart seasoned with cynicism and a dash of dark humor. Don’t get attached though, she catches flights not feelings. Goes well with Ruth Lennon or Eunice Collins. Should not be served with a tennis ball, she will ignore it. Warning: may contain traces of sass. Her interests include Hamilton *THE MUSICAL* (watch it!) scheming and seshing. Mostly scheming. Her world domination plans aren’t limited to Risk and she never signs Non Aggression Pacts. Watch out for this one - she voted for Brexit.

RUTH LENNON PRO-LIBRARIAN

Ruth(less) lives in the constant shadow of her granduncle John Lennon - but she takes more after Vladimir Lenin. She hasn’t knifed anyone in real life or debating yet, but it’s 50-50 on which is more likely. When asked what she’d like to do after the Hist, she replied that she will be Taoiseach. Just kidding, she raised an eyebrow and said ‘After the Hist??’ Winner of the Maidens Final, she has never lost a competitive debate. Admittedly she’s only done one, but she’s promised to speak with Eunice soon. She can also do a mean crossword.

SHUBHANGI KARMAKAR PRO-DEBATES CONVENOR

Shubhangi puts the BANG into Shubhangi. Her time turner enables her to be both constantly in the GMB and also passing Medicine. Notably, she did not use time travel to return the British Empire to its glory days but she’s borrowed some of its majesty for herself. You’ll recognize her from her dapper suits, matching hip flasks and the sense that you’re talking to the Viceroy of a British colony. Her killer heels are designed to stamp out the patriarchy. Pro Tip: When Facebook stalking her fashion, she’s a bit of a ghost online. Good Luck Finding Her!

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SAM BROWN

PRO-DEBATES CONVENOR Dan Brown is the author of the bestselling novel The Da Vinci Code. Brown’s novels are published in 54 languages around the world with 200 million copies in print. In 2005, Brown was named one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World by TIME Magazine. . He also likes green eggs and hamif by green eggs and ham you mean debating and hist committee. But his greatest achievement to date has been his election to Hist Committee. Either that or his founding of the Dan Browne Debating School. It’s like the Billie Barry School of Acting but. He also likes green eggs and ham- if by green eggs and ham you mean debating and hist committee.

DOIREANN O’BRIEN PRO-EVENTS CONVENOR

Spotted: our very own Doireann wearing nothing but a blue Hist Hoodie and clutching the only thing dear to her- her key to the GMB. She may be on the run, but you know you love her xoxo. Yes, Doireann is gossip girl. You think girls shouldn’t gossip? Don’t try to impose your patriarchal gender normative social constructs onto this gal! No seriously don’t…..She speaks Irish by choice, frequents Irish pubs and has been known to sing “Ooh Ah Up the RA!” If that’s not a member of a secret terrorist organization then who knows what is!

PATRICK BYRNES

PRO-EVENTS CONVENOR Dear Paddy, We have a message for you. If you give Kayleigh her cookies now that’ll be the end of it. But if you don’t, She will look for you, She will find you and She will kill you. This cookie thief asks really awkward questions like “How can you be a socialist and study economics?”. After spending his summer ‘working’ in the American embassy at St. Petersburg, and escaping from a Russian [REDACTED], we have it on good authority that the nightlife there has him brimming with ideas for Hist club nights ... or at least club crowd control techniques.

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THE GMB

TOP FLOOR: Computer Room If you can manage to find your way all the way to the top of the GMB, you’re rewarded with one of the best computer rooms on campus. Its distinguising fea-

THE GMB HAS BEEN HOME TO THE HIST FOR OVER 100 YEARS. FIND OUT ABOUT ALL OF ITS NOOKS AND CRANNIES HERE.

taure being that there are always computers available.

SECOND FLOOR: Snooker and Pool Rooms Here you’ll find the cheapest place to play snooker and pool in Dublin, because its free to Hist members! Featuring five pool and three snooker tables, you’re also sure to find one available.

FIRST FLOOR: Conversation Room Looking for somewhere to relax between (or during) lectures? Then the conversation room is the perfect place to hang out, especially during those cold winter months. We also provide free newspapers and magazines if you’re into that whole “reading” thing.

GROUND FLOOR: The Chamber Arguably the most important room in the building, (depending on how fond you are of napping on our couches), the Chamber is the location of our weekly debates. Come along eaxh Wednesday to hear some great guests go up against some mediocre Trinity students.

HISTORY OF THE HIST

A

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THE HIST, FOUNDED IN 1770, IS THE WORLD’S OLDEST STUDENT SOCIETY. SENATOR TED KENNEDY DESCRIBED IT AS “THE GREATEST OF THE SCHOOLS OF ORATORS” DURING HIS VISIT IN 1970

s the oldest student soci-

longer allowed to debate “the politics

ety in the world, you could

of the day”, but you only need to look

say the Hist was an old

at our Term Cars to see how successful

During its long history, the Hist has

child. Born in 1770, the

Trinity were at stopping this.

been addressed by some very notable

Hist was proudly parented

ing the World Championships in 1992.

people, such as Winston Churchill, Gor-

by Edmund Burke and Trinity College.

When the Hist had more or less gone

don Brown, Judith Butler, Mary Robin-

And like any parent and child we’ve had

through adolescence, it decided that

son, Desmond Tutu, Bob Geldof, W.B.

our disputes along the way.

it liked girls and admitted them to the

Yeats, and Ralph Fiennes. In the last

society in 1969. This remodeling of the

year along, our guests included Nobel

Trinity and the Hist got along just fine,

debating scene was nothing compared

Prize winner Angus Deaton, author Dan

until Trinity realised the Hist was getting

to the remodeling after the 2000 fire

Brown, comedian Katherine Lynch, ac-

a bit too big for its boots. So in 1794

that burned the GMB to the ground.

tors Evanna Lynch and Robert Sheehan,

(and again in 1815) when Trinity kicked

Well, burned the top floor at least, but

and economist Cass Sunstein.

the Hist out for controversial debate

we like to make things dramatic.

Overall we think

motions. Was this parental censorship justified? It’s debatable.

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the Hist has done

Other interesting moments from our

pretty well for itself. With 247 years of

history include the time eight Hist

experience behind us, we’re ready to

It’s ok though because the Hist and Trin-

members (including Robert Emmet),

give you the best four years of your life.

ity reconciled and by 1902 the Hist was

were expelled from Trinity for taking

If you want to be part of a conversation

happily living at home in the newly built

part in the 1798 rebellion, and perhaps

thats been happening for almost 250

GMB. As part of this, the Hist was no

our proudest acheivement to date, host-

years, then come find us in the GMB!