Cracking The Stress Code: Discovering The Essence Within

BY: Dr. Yasmine Saad

Stress has become the norm in our fast-paced society, and nearly everyone experiences it to some degree. According to The American Institute of Stress Statistics, over 70% of people experience stress that negatively affects their physical and mental health.

Stress is commonly viewed as something negative to be avoided at all costs, which aligns with the World Health Organization's definition of stress as "a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation." However, the WHO also recognizes stress as "a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives."

What if the stress was merely a messenger calling our attention to what needs to be rebalanced for a better future?

Les Brown often mentions: "What you tune in to, you turn into," - so are you tuning to the negative aspects of stress? If so, your only solution may seem to be avoiding stress altogether.

What if the stress was neither inherently good nor bad? What if it was simply a signal? How would you choose to interpret it and respond to this signal?

Personally, I would want to understand what it is signaling and how it can benefit me, as I value personal growth and learning.

So what is stress signaling? Stress is based on our desires, expectations, and moral values. Challenges and obstacles only exist because we have desires, expectations, and moral values, so knowing these is essential to cracking the code to stress.

Let me provide an example. If you desire a productive workforce because you value effective work, you will see an ineffective workforce as an obstacle and be challenged by it. You may experience stress, as well as negative emotions and thoughts toward your staff.

On the other hand, another person who doesn't share the same values or is less attached to their desires and values may view an unproductive task force as an opportunity for improvement. They may feel hopeful instead. This demonstrates how our attachment to desires, values, and expectations determines whether something becomes stressful in the negative sense of the word.

Therefore, wouldn't the first step towards changing the impact of stress on us be to understand ourselves, including our desires, values, and expectations? And wouldn't the second step involve developing a mindset to effectively handle situations that contradict our desires, values, and expectations?

Knowing who you are and having strategies to rebalance yourself when faced with situations that don't align with your values and expectations are crucial to building muscle for adversity and living a prosperous life. If you are struggling to identify your desires, values, or expectations, here are some questions to help you get started:

1. What are you so quick to give to others? When are you there for others? For example, if you answer: "I give my help" or "I am there in a difficult situation," you can infer that you value giving support. Now ask yourself, do I value receiving support too? If the answer is yes, then you value support in general. If the answer is no, then something else that you value interferes with valuing receiving support. For example, you might not value receiving support if you value independence. Can you determine your value system this way?

2. What activities do you enjoy and why? For example, you might enjoy watching movies because of the emotions they evoke in you. This suggests that you value experiencing emotions.

Now that you have identified some of your desires, values, and expectations, let's focus on building an inner ability to deal with situations that don't align with them. There is a mindset shortcut for this, but it only works if you believe it.

The shortcut is to believe that everything coming your way will help you in the future. Can you reflect on your life and recognize that your experiences led to subsequent ones? Can you now see that everything, positive or negative, contributes to your future?

Based on this, do you believe everything coming your way can help you in the future? If your answer is yes, you can ask yourself a simple question: "What can this bring me?" This question can be applied to any situation, whether it aligns with your desires, values, and expectations. By asking this question, you open yourself up to new possibilities and insights, allowing each experience to guide you toward your goals, refine your values, or even reveal that certain desires are no longer necessary.

When you understand yourself—your desires, values, and expectations—and cultivate a mindset that embraces the opposite of those desires, values, and expectations, you can build the inner resilience needed to navigate situations that challenge you. This process begins with self-awareness and extends to developing strategies for rebalancing yourself when faced with circumstances that don't align with your values and expectations.

It is crucial to recognize that stress, in itself, is not inherently good or bad. It is our perception and interpretation of stress, based on what we desire, expect, and value, that shapes its impact on our lives. Stress can serve as a valuable messenger, guiding us toward areas that need attention and offering opportunities for personal growth and learning.

Ultimately, building resilience and living a prosperous life involves acknowledging our desires, values, and expectations and being open to the lessons and growth that can arise from challenging situations. By adopting a mindset that views every experience as a potential stepping stone to our future, we empower ourselves to harness the power of stress and use it as a tool for personal transformation.

So, the next time stress manifests, pause and reflect on what it might be signaling. Approach it with curiosity and the belief that it can lead you closer to your core values. As you begin to understand yourself and learn to embrace the opportunities within stress, you can build the inner strength necessary to thrive in adversity and create a fulfilling and prosperous life.

About the author:

Dr. Yasmine Saad is a highly acclaimed NYC psychologist, two-time international best-selling author, and peak performance coach who has been recognized by Forbes alongside Tony Robbins for her exceptional impact on empowering leaders. Known as "The Wise Psychologist," Dr. Saad has developed the transformative Inner Message Approach™, enabling individuals to decode their thoughts and emotions, break free from negative patterns, and embrace their true potential.

As the founder of Madison Park Psychological Services, Dr. Saad leads an acclaimed practice dedicated to providing tailored psychological services and assessments. She has trained a team of the top 5% of psychologists nationally, ensuring exceptional care for multicultural clients. With her expertise in decoding thoughts and emotions, Dr. Saad has been invited to speak on prestigious national and international stages, sharing insights with leaders in self-development, including Deepak Chopra, Les Brown, Dennis Waitley, Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor, and many others. Her profound impact and innovative approach have been featured in over 100 media outlets, including ABC, CBS, NBC, BBC, Fox, USA Today, New York Post, Newsweek, Huffington Post, and Forbes, solidifying her reputation as a leading authority in psychology and personal development.