5 Ways Being A Competitive Tennis Player Prepared Me For Becoming A NICU Mom

BY: Jodi Klaristenfeld

When I was younger, I'd play tennis at least five days a week, and sometimes more when I competed in tournaments. During traditional school vacation breaks, my family would often reschedule planned trips so that I could play high-profile tournaments.

Becoming a competitive tennis player requires many hours of practice, speed, agility, physical fitness, handy footwork, mental toughness, and endurance. Many people don't realize that many of these same physical and mental skills translate off the court into other aspects of life just as well. Little did I know that those days of hard work and training would prove paramount when I became a mom to a daughter born twelve weeks early.

The 77 days my daughter was in the NICU and the two and a half years that followed were some of the hardest and most challenging times of my life. Yet, they were some of the most rewarding, celebratory, and special days too. I learned so much about myself and my daughter. Every day when I sat down to journal my feelings, I came to a greater understanding of how those days of training on the tennis court helped prepare me for my motherhood journey.

Upon reflection, I uncovered five major ways being a competitive tennis player equipped me with the necessary tools for being a NICU mom.

1. Perseverance and Determination

Even the best tennis players in the world have days where their “A” game is just not enough. Like any professional athlete, they have to dig deep inside to find their inner strength and motivation to handle setbacks that come their way.

Similarly, when my daughter was in the NICU, I had to overcome challenges and obstacles by staying focused and managing my emotions. While winning a match or tournament was not the end goal of our NICU journey, navigating the ups and downs of her medical progress is just like bouncing back from a lost set, game, or match.

My husband and I watched over and nurtured our daughter during those pivotal days of growth and development, hoping she would come home happy and healthy. Even when we would take two steps forward and one step back, I would remind myself that progress of any kind was a win, a celebration, and a step in the right direction.

2. Endurance and Resilience

Tennis requires a strong desire to win, including a dedication to practice mental and physical drills repeatedly. When losing to the same player over and over again, it is the consistent practicing, polishing, and refining of skills that demonstrate a willingness to learn and improve in order to eventually emerge victorious.

Much like tennis, being a parent to any child is a marathon, not a sprint. In the same manner, being a NICU parent is not for the faint of heart. It necessitates strength, resolve, stamina, as well as physical and mental fitness over long periods of time. It also requires tenacity, self-reliance, and willingness to overcome each 120 MPH serve that comes your way. My resilience was tested repeatedly, but when I think about how children like my daughter fight with every ounce of their being, it makes me realize that if they can do it, so can I.

3. Tactical Skills and Focus

To be a successful tennis player, you must be able to assess your opponents' game, recognize their strengths, exploit their weaknesses, and adjust your strategy accordingly. Moreover, it is this precise ability to change their game plan on the fly while focusing on their opponents' movements to their own advantage that sets one player apart from the other.

Like tennis, NICU parents must be adaptable to all the uncertainty that comes their way. On top of experiencing the daily emotional roller coaster ride, new challenges will undoubtedly arise as medical needs will often change by the minute, by the day, or even longer. There is also uncertainty as to when your child might come home. Embracing flexibility, reframing your point of view, and being open to adapting your plans as needed will help you feel more stable as a parent. This will also make you less stressed so you can focus on the things you can control.

4. Mental Toughness in the Face of High-Pressure Situations

Tennis is a mentally demanding sport. Whether it is dealing with hecklers in the crowd, unfavorable conditions on/off the court, handling pressure when losing a match, or any other pressure as a result of the competition at hand, professional tennis players must be able to control their emotions and retain their focus on the task at hand.

Similarly, for NICU parents, whether it is maintaining a calmness about themselves or projecting a positive attitude toward their child, demonstrations of mental composure are of paramount importance in the ever-changing and high-pressure environment that is the NICU. Somehow, NICU parents find the energy to put one foot in front of the other every day. Parents must stay optimistic even when their child's progress seems slow and uncertain because children feed off that energy, and your positive emotions help them grow and thrive.

5. Practicing Mindfulness and Being Present Helps Players and Parents Perform Their Best

Athletes can be easily distracted from their game by thoughts of victory or how they can hit a particular shot better the next time. The very best athletes can deflect those errant thoughts, stay present at the moment and focus on their current opponent. Concentrating and channeling their energy into the present allows players to perform at their best on the court.

When children are born, we are told to focus on milestones and that, somehow, these benchmarks measure a child's success compared to other children the same age. It is easy to get caught up in looking toward the future and wondering when your child will conquer these tasks. But for NICU parents, focusing on the present and small incremental goals helps them feel less overwhelmed and more grounded in their journey.

As I walk through the NICU doors every day, I would remind myself that this journey is not about me but rather about my daughter. Being completely present with her and making it about her not only helped manage my stress and anxiety but also allowed me to channel all my energy into her, which in turn gave me a greater sense of clarity and calmness.

On the surface, playing competitive tennis and being a NICU parent seem like two distinctly different experiences. However, based on my personal experiences, the skill set and attitudes of both types of people are much more similar than meets the eye. When I think back to when my life revolved around a sport I loved and how those skills have positively influenced and shaped my role as a mother, I can't help but feel a sense of gratitude. Tennis has taught me not only to face life's challenges head-on but also how to persevere and work toward success as a mom and as an entrepreneur.

About the Author:

Jodi Klaristenfeld is the founder of FLRRiSH. She is a mom to an adorable little girl born at 28 weeks due to a rare and life-threatening form of preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. After her daughter's early birth, Jodi quickly discovered that preemie moms and dads aren't always given the support they need. While Jodi felt alone and thrown into a world she didn't understand, she realized this didn't have to be the case for other preemie families. As a result, she created FLRRiSH, a platform that offers NICU parent education, empowerment, support, and resources to help families navigate this beautiful and challenging journey. Jodi, her husband, and her family live in NYC.

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