[RSCJW] Week 3 Self-Study

Week Three Self-Study

Getting to Neutral: Negotiating Space, Bodies, and Communication Our bodies carry history—the history of our experiences from this lifetime, the histories of our ancestors, and the histories of any social groups that we are born into.

These histories are often operating through us at unconscious levels, running the show, often provoking us to react in ways that do not make sense to our conscious mind, or do not align with our understanding of ourselves.

What this means is that none of us are operating from a completely neutral state. As we come to share space and conversations with each other, we inevitably step on each other’s toes, press each other’s buttons, activate old pain bodies and triggers. When these triggers are connected to ancestral and collective pain bodies and become activated by people whose ancestors and histories have victimized and perpetrated harm against another, these reactions can be even more heightened because it is pressing on a collective wound. This happens in any situation where two or more parties have been socialized to think in dualistic frameworks of oppressed/oppressor, self/other, us/them.

From a spiritual perspective, we are all one. From a human perspective, we all have our unique energetic blueprints. Coming to a place of healing social relations means that we must hold both of these truths side by side—we are all unique expressions of the one. Until we come to a place where we bring our unconscious wounds into consciousness, come out of the illusion of separation, and take responsibility for our actions and the actions of our ancestors by making amends and offering energetic reparations for those whom our ancestors and/or social groups have wronged, we will continue to enact pain on ourselves and each other.

Vocabulary:

Pain Bodies Shadow Self Energetic Weather Feel and Process Reactivity Chain

Readings:

• “Conflict Transformation,” excerpt from Sheri Mitchell’s Sacred Instructions • Excerpt from Radical Dharma: Talking Race, Love, and Liberation, Rev. angel Kyodo williams, Lama Rod Owens, with Jasmine Syedullah, PhD • Excerpt from Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice, Leah Lakshmi PiepznaSamarasinha

Concepts: Pain Bodies: A pain body is simply any dense emotion or vibration living in the

body that is not fully acknowledged and witnessed. It is an energetic open wound and continues to live in the body until it is processed and released. Our reason for stuffing these emotions down often dates back to childhood traumas when we were vulnerable and unsafe and didn’t have the awareness or tools to healthily process what was happening to us.

As we age, we continue this practice because it’s hardwired into the body as what feels “safe” and known. Over time, the accumulation begins to feel overwhelming and we feel afraid that the “bigness” of our emotions will swallow us whole, or we feel overwhelmed to know where to even begin. Our fear responses are meant to keep us safe. In fact, the physical body is wired for fear, and tries to protect us whenever big emotions are up to be experienced and released.

The truth is that we are safe, most of the time— our fear responses are simply lying to us in most circumstances, replaying old patterning from a time in our life when we were not safe. And even when we are not safe, operating from a more conscious, deliberate state is helpful for navigating danger.

Differentiating between fear and danger is helpful for navigating the present moment.

While danger is real, fear is a choice of how we choose to respond to danger. As we begin to spend less time in fear and an unconscious replaying of old pain bodies, we can learn to trust ourselves to appropriately respond to danger without draining ourselves of prana out of perceived threats that do not reflect the fully reality of the moment. This act of trusting ourselves to navigate our triggers in the present moment is an important act of shifting into a higher state of consciousness.

By learning how to witness and sit with—and even befriend and send some gratitude and compassion into our pain bodies—we allow for the possibility of overriding our hardwired fear responses and move into a more heart-centered mode of being.

Collective Pain Bodies: Sometimes our pain bodies are inherited. They can be

intergenerational and/or karmic, meaning that they have been passed down to us through our lineage, social groups, or through other lifetimes. In Sacred Instructions, Sheri Mitchell speaks to how collective pain bodies impact our present, specifically in relation to the genocide of First Nations peoples and the enslaved Africans who built what we now call the US. The uncomfortable truth is that all of us are connected to these histories, regardless of our lineage and social identities. However, how we are impacted by them, whether we are positioned in a place of oppressed or oppressor in regards to historical power relations, greatly differs. In the brief excerpt from Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates crystallizes one way in which his social location crashes against the history of the white woman who pushes his son, and illustrates how quickly our collective pain bodies can be triggered through a momentary exchange. From a spiritual perspective while we both are and are not our bodies, from a social perspective our bodies both are and are not our collective histories.

One of the pressing questions of this historical moment is how do we each become more accountable to facing our pain bodies and bringing them into consciousness in order to work through them, not just for ourselves, but for each other? We owe it to ourselves and to each other to be brave enough to learn from and listen to our pain bodies so that we can collectively heal. Until we do so our pain bodies will keep getting louder and louder and oppressive histories and intergenerational trauma will continue to repeat.

Shadow Self: One of the main things that prevents us from bringing the unconscious conscious and unearthing our pain bodies is our Shadow Self. Our Shadow Self consists of all of the qualities about ourselves that we have disowned and banished because we judge and perceive these qualities to be “bad.”

We might have been told that these qualities are “bad” by family or society. We might have watched others be punished or judged for them. We might be scared of how powerful these parts of ourselves feel. Whatever the reason, these are the less “polished” aspects of ourselves that we keep out of sight behind the masks we wear and show others.

The fear of being “found out” by others, or of what me might find out about ourselves (usually, that we are “bad”) is part of what compels us to keep these parts of ourselves hidden. This fear is also what makes us susceptible to our pain bodies—our pain bodies feed on any unhealed wounds, and any lower vibrational aspects of ourselves.

Our Shadow Self is simply a “wrong turn” of our Soul Qualities, when these qualities are operating through a logic of fear rather than love. When we face our shadow and bring these banished qualities back into the light, we allow for an integration of all aspects of ourselves, and we are no longer victimized by fear, which means that our pain bodies can’t feed on these aspects of ourselves, and neither can anyone else. We begin to be less invested in people pleasing and reputation, and come back into our own power and sovereignty. We remember that the truth of who we are is really love.

Many of the aspects of our Shadow Self are simply wounded inner children crying for attention and help. Since the truth of who we are is always only love, when we gain the courage to look into these old wounds and traumas, we can begin to release the hold they have on us. When we do this, we allow ourselves to cultivate a deeper, more intimate relationship with ourselves and others because we are not afraid of being “found out.” We accept ourselves just as we are.

We also come to accept others just as they are. As we integrate our shadows, we become more aware of and compassionate towards other people’s shadow selves, and their own unhealed inner children. As each of us does our own shadow work, we build a foundation of more compassionate, deeper social relations.

Energetic Weather: As we do this work it’s important to remember that emotions

are not “good” or “bad,” they just are. Emotions are the body’s attempt to communicate that something is not in alignment with our heart and the truth of who we are. And some emotions are very strong and powerful.

Emotions are simply energy moving through us. Because our unworthiness stories, pain bodies, and Shadow Self are rooted in fears of being unlovable, “bad,” or “not enough” (which is also “too much”), when we experience emotions that are not readily recognized as “happy” we stuff them down because we are afraid of what we will find out about ourselves.

Emotions we perceive as “negative” are simply alerting us to something in our sphere not being in alignment. When we are able to witness and get curious about what the material is beneath our triggers and reactions, we allow ourselves an opportunity to bring them into awareness and override our hardwired responses to uncomfortable and challenging life experiences.

One way to do this is to recognize that everything is temporary—pain is temporary, happiness is temporary. Just like a storm coming from across the lake. When we are in our Awareness Body we can recognize that whatever we are currently experiencing will not last forever, and we begin to be more skilled at navigating the storms and

knowing that regardless of what is happening in the outer realm, the core of who we are is love.

When we can come to a place of witnessing and accepting our emotions without merging with them, fearing them, or minimizing them, we can recognize them as teachers and stay curious about what they are showing us with a sense of gratitude.

Journaling Prompts: Processing and Releasing Individual Pain Bodies: Take some time to journal about how these pain bodies manifest in your life: • What are my triggers, or in Eckhart Tolle’s terms, my “pain bodies”?

• When and how do they get activated?

• Where do they live in my body? What do they feel like?

Identifying our Ancestral and Collective Pain Bodies: Using an intersectional

lens, take some time to journal about what you know about your ancestral lineage and the social identities you occupy: • What is your ancestral inheritance?

• What do you know about your family? What aspects of your family history were/are discussed? What aspects of your family history were/are unspoken?

• What gaps are there in what you know about your family history? Who can you connect with to learn more about your family history?

• What known traumas or pain bodies do you know are carried in your family line?

• What stereotypes, biases, microaggressions, and prejudice have you witnessed being expressed by your family? Where do you think these limiting worldviews stem from?

• What collective history does this ancestry carry?

• In what situations has this ancestry perpetrated harm against other social groups? Which social groups? If you don’t know, do some research.

• In what situations has this ancestry been harmed by other social groups?

Which social groups? If you don’t know, do some research.

• What are you interested in learning more about in relation to your family history?

• What are you scared of learning more about in relation to your family history?

In truth, these “pain bodies” are just fragmented parts that we have banished outside of our I-concept, and labeled “bad.” In regards to our inherited and collective pain bodies, these can be parts of us that we do not even realize are there until they are activated, or feel so out of character for us that we struggle to make sense of them with our rational, conscious mind. That’s because they simply live within us as vibrations in our bodies. When we begin to get beneath the behaviors and patterns, we can begin to befriend these pain bodies and send them compassion. Once you have identified some of your more notorious pain bodies, consider asking them some questions: • What is it that you are trying to protect me from?

• What is that you need to feel safe right now?

• See if you can add some levity to your pain bodies. Consider giving them a name, or a personality. This can help to make them more identifiable and manageable.

• As they arise, see if you can check in with yourself and ask, “is it true that I am unsafe right now?” If the answer is that you are safe, kindly thank them for trying to keep you safe, and then remind them that you are now in a place to consciously navigate the situation from a place of love.

Practices: Feel and Process: The “Feel and Process” method is a way of intentionally working with body scanning as we are triggered. This method builds upon the body scanning techniques we have been doing to bring direct awareness to our pain bodies and strong emotions as they arise within the body. It provides a working tool to process emotional turbulence in real time.

When we allow for the energetic weather to flow through us, witnessing and honoring its presence as an attempt to communicate that something is out of alignment, we allow for the possibility of releasing the vibration with ease. One way to consider it is that the quicker we process it, the quicker it leaves our field. The longer we repress it, the longer it stays (sometimes years—or generations).

Feel in Body (Physical Body): Physically scan the body to notice sensations, not their qualities and where they are living Acknowledge (Mental Body): Recognize any accompanying mind stories, limiting belief systems, or self-judgment. Notice if there are any old memories this emotion is attached to.

Accept (Emotional Body): Witness and honor the emotion and what it is try to communicate. Get the data without merging with it. Grieve and allow any old, repressed emotions and memories to move through you.

Act (Prana Body): Get curious. Ask what you needed in the context of your original memory to feel safe. Then: 1. Watch yourself decide to do and say what you needed in that moment, knowing that there are no repercussions.

2. Notice how it feels in your body to respond in alignment with what you needed rather than acting from your fear response.

3. Once you have rewritten this memory, turn attention to the more recent trigger and ask yourself how you can meet that same need in the current situation.

4. Watch yourself do and say what you need to stay aligned, rather than playing out an old fear response.

5. Notice how it feels in your body to respond in a way that honors your truth and personal needs.

Release (Awareness Body): As you witness these wounds from a more conscious perspective—observing and rewriting your responses—you begin to allow it to release from you field, neutralizing the charge. *These steps are theoretical. The practice is MUCH messier. There are emotions that feel too overwhelming and that we don’t want to accept. Sometimes we can’t process in the current moment.

Witness what you can, get curious and return later.

Reactivity Chain: Reactivity Chains are an opportunity for us to map out our

heightened responses when triggered and to recognize how we got there by breaking our response into smaller pieces in order to get the “data.” One of the things that happens to us when we are triggered is that everything speeds up and suddenly feels very urgent—that is one of the telltale giveaways that we are not in a fully present, conscious state. Working with our Reactivity Chains allows us to use these experiences to heal and grow from.

For this practice consider a recent event in community or relationship that left you triggered.

• • • • • •

What physical, emotional, mental vulnerability set you up for this reactivity?

What was the external happening that triggered the reactivity?

Who were the players involved?

When did the seed of the issue begin? What was going on when it started?

What were you doing, thinking, and feeling before it all happened?

Were there any “check engine” lights that warned you your system was run down before the situation occurred?

Now, scan the body: • • • • •

What is the vibration in your body as you think about the trigger?

Where do you feel it? What does it source down to?

What was your Fear Response in this situation: Fight, Flight, Fawn, Freeze?

How else could you have responded to the situation? How do you wish you had responded?

If it feels productive, spend some time doing Feel & Process with this Reactivity Chain. See if you can get underneath what was happening in the moment—what it was really about. Then watch yourself making a different choice that is in more conscious alignment with what you needed and how you wished you had responded from a more conscious place. Watch that alternate route play out in your mind’s eye.

Once we realize that everything is a potential lesson pointing us in the direction of personal growth, we realize that our so-called “imperfections” offer profound learning opportunities. Healing and self-care are not about flipping a switch and becoming perfect, they are about holding ourselves in compassion and love as we start to rewire our well-worn pathways.

The more we practice loving awareness and accountability throughout this process, the more gently we learn and grow from our lessons. As we do so, the fallout of our actions becomes smaller and smaller and we begin to welcome our lessons with grace.

We also become more accepting and understanding towards other people’s missteps.

We begin to realize we are all human and doing the best we can from our level of consciousness. As we hold a vibration of compassion and understanding for ourselves and each other, we necessarily shift the collective toward a space of healing, intimacy, and tenderness.