Transformation Magazine: Live With Intention

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INSPIRATION Love & Gumption—Gifts From Floyd Gaining My Emotional Independence The Log: A Personal Story of Holiday Meaning The Ghost Ship and the Irrevocable Choices Before I Die Claim Your Inheritance

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TOOLS & TIPS FOR TRANSFORMATION The Key To Freedom Hi, Fiber!

6 Ways to Increase Your Happiness The Secret to Sticking to the Diet 10 Things You Can Do to Release Anger

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COACHING TOOLS How to Live Your Childhood Dreams What Does It Take to Start An E-commerce Business?

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ENLIGHTMENT Experiencing Life’s Theatre Non-Conformity and New Reality Consciousness An Open Heart Beyond Intentions: Embodying Your Co-Creative Power Enlightened Advice

© Copyright 2017 Transformation Magazine. All rights reserved. www.TransformationMag.com

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Inspiration

Love & Gumption—Gifts From Floyd

by Terez Hartmann The Colors of Floyd

I called him dad, but his buddies knew him as “Floyd,” and though he rarely worried about ruffling other people’s feathers, called it like he saw it (like it or not), and lived life on his terms with no apologies, this self-described “surly” soul was utterly adored by his best-friend-soul-mate of a wife and managed to pack the house at his tribute celebration with a diverse crowd of people who loved and appreciated every facet of his colorful being.

Florian “Floyd” Sowinski had far more to him than meets the eye. On the surface, he could be quite gruff, and his past self had most certainly not just burned, but torched a few bridges into virtually unrecognizable ash. Yet, Mr. Surly was also one of the most brilliant people you could ever meet (a champion Cribbage* player ranked #13 in the United States), an avid history buff with a passion for civil war history; an incredible storyteller; a truly adventurous spirit who loved his road trips; a loving, kind-hearted soul who would do things like find a box of seeds that fell off a truck and pay to post an ad in the paper to be sure to get them back to the rightful owner; AND, together with his lovely wife, Irene—my “BoMom” (“Bonus Mom”)—care for his ex-wife full-time in her final days. *BTW: Cribbage is a card game that will twist the brain of most human beings into knots, so even just getting

through a single game is an accomplishment!

Dad: Part One?

My mom and dad had little in common except for ME. They were both in different stages of their personal development, each finding his/her own way in life, and each with very strong, intense personalities. Yet, if they had not come together at that pivotal time in Southern California, the unique recipe that is me would be very different (or even nonexistent!), indeed.

I spent my formative years and beyond with my mom and older brothers and, honestly, could not have asked for a more supportive, loving and even deeply spiritual parent to help pave the way to my path of self-discovery. She always saw my core self, encouraged my passion for music and the arts, and spent many a night burning the midnight oil while my teenage self sought to unravel the great mysteries of life, the universe, boys and hormones.

At the age of 12, I received a phone call from a person I had never known: A man named Florian who revealed that he was my father.

Though I knew I must have had a dad (I had taken sex ed by this time, so I knew how the process worked), 3

this was the first time that having a dad was more than just an abstract idea. We exchanged lovely letters for about a year, and as we got to know each other in written form, we started to plan a way to meet in California. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), when it came time to meet him in person, something within me was just not ready. While there was a very strong possibility that I had simply tuned in to my mom’s energy and apprehension (due to their tumultuous past), perhaps my soul also knew that it was not quite the right time to make that connection. In any case, the door was left open for the day that I would be ready to learn more and meet the man who helped bring me into being.

notice a rare and beautiful trend that was quite atypical of family relationships; the utter absence of any sense of obligation of ANY kind. My dad seemed to intuitively know that I was a different bird who focused passionately and who had an incredibly full life and schedule. He knew that any lack of communication on my part was due to me devouring a project and doing what I do in my many expressions as an introverted extrovert, and the fact that he honored me and the flow of my life so fully in this way only made me appreciate him 10 times more.

When I did come up for air to connect with him and BoMom, the only thing I ever received from them was a genuine outpouring of love and support. They were always Finding Dad In the fall of 2009, while I was getting ready for a happy to hear from me, never belittled me in ANY way for gig, a fun wisp of inspiration came wafting in that moved however long it had been since our last conversation or visit, me to ask my husband, John, for his help in finding my dad and seemed truly proud of the work that I was doing and the woman I had become. This remained sometime soon. Knowing the proutterly consistent from the moment cess could take some time, I went we reconnected in 2009 to the last off to work for the evening with no conversation we ever had in 3-D in What if I went forth expectation of anything happening March of 2017. on that front for a while. Besides, it into the world, bold and would all fall into place when it was Dad Winks time, so no worries.

When my dad, AKA “Floyd,” brazen like my dad, and When I arrived home that made his transition in May of 2017, let myself BE and express his loving presence manifested in night, John had not only found my dad, but two sisters who also lived on magnificent ways than I could the many colors of ME more the West Coast of the United States! ever have imagined. While there I was stunned and amazed, and my were far more experiences that I without apologies? heart knew that there was no queshave time to list here, a few hightion—THIS was the time! lights include: The Evolution of a Beautiful Relationship

The first conversation with my dad was so incredibly beautiful.

He had intentionally kept a P.O. box in a city he didn’t even live in anymore in the hopes that someday I would pick up his trail.

I also discovered that he had just mentioned the idea of finding ME to his wife, Irene, and that once the holiday madness was over, the two of them would do whatever it would take to pick up MY trail!

There was no doubt that we were most certainly off to a great start, and so, from this point in time, the journey of two adults who were both moved by the same desire to create a new, healthy, happy relationship began.

During our visits and phone calls, I would catch glimpses of Mr. Surly, but the great majority of the time, I found a big-hearted, teddy bear of a man; and in 2012, he and BoMom journeyed to Sedona, AZ, to have him “give me away” (part two!) at an intimate 10-year vow renewal ceremony with my hubby at Crescent Moon Ranch by magnificent Cathedral Rock. It was a beautiful, happy and fabulous time had by all.

As we continued feeding our connection, I began to 4

• • •

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• A magical, visceral encounter and “conversation” by way of my willing husband John.

SEVERAL mind-blowing hummingbird encounters.

A relentless fly.

Sharing our flight to California with the most extraordinary renaissance woman of Polish descent and then being driven home by a lovely man FROM Poland (My dad was always extremely proud of our Polish heritage).

Being led to a beautiful off-the-beaten-path winery in the mountains that we found “by chance” (www.

SoaringHawkVineyards.com), where we met the most extraordinary couple (the owners and artists behind the wine!), and were invited to stay after hours, treated to tapas and more wine (their Tempranillo is gorgeous!), shared in an intimate acoustic sunset music experience, and were treated like family.

A walk through Sequoia National Park with a raven guide EVERYWHERE we went who would land and ascend so close to us that there was no way we could not hear the beating of his wings every time it was time to view another great wonder.

Being utterly moved to travel to California at a time when it was extremely short notice and utterly “impractical” so that I would have the incredible gift of meeting my

awesome uncle Larry, an amazing, loving, deeply spiritual, like-minded soul, who would only be there during a small window of time.

• And… …a song (of course there would be a song!) called “I’m Free**” that my dad shared for and through me that I would somehow find the focus and strength to be able to play and sing live for his beloved, his favorite little brother, and the many friends who attended his life celebration ceremony.

**For the lyrics to “I’m Free” visit http://allowingyoursucces.wixsite.com/terezfirewoman/news--blog Finding Balance—and Gumption

When John and I returned from California, we managed to walk right into the arms of what felt like multiple hurricanes: In addition to processing the powerful waves of emotion that were flowing around my dad’s transition, our home had suddenly commanded major attention, my physical body was experiencing all manner of craziness, other intense family things were playing themselves out, and there was still much work to be done to complete a very big, highly detail-oriented, but deeply soul-feeding project. ONE of these things alone was more than enough for a human being to handle and stay sane, but ALL of THIS happening NOW was just… wow.

Though I gave myself some time to completely unplug for a good solid week after being back in Florida (which was, for sure, VERY good for my spirit), I knew that life and all of these various challenges and “focal points” would still be there when I came up for air. But rather than jump right back into the fray and continue to wait for things to change before I would allow myself to find my balance, I decided that somehow, some way, I would find my center and allow my fire of serenity and joy to burn REGARDLESS of the tempest that roared around me.

With the amount of momentum that had gathered on these many subjects, I knew that it may take a bit more than a few meditation sessions or walks in the park to turn things around: This was indeed a job for a whole lot of love and… …GUMPTION. And few souls were more well-versed on this subject than the one and only Floyd, AKA Dad. Gumption in Action

First, John and I would roll up our sleeves to do what we could, hire good people to fill in the gaps and, through our joint efforts, bring our home back into balance and full functionality.

Next, I would dive back into a project that was truly making my heart sing and, as a result, revamped, revisited, and then used my OWN tools to shift my vibe and get out of my own way.

Then I would decide what to do about the unre-

solved state of things with my mom. Oh boy…

I loved (and love) her and wanted her to be well and happy and, like it or not, knew that she was following her path of least resistance to her greatest well-being, but, ugh!

After a brief conversation about not being ready to have a conversation, followed by more non-conversation, though my logical mind loved that she was honoring herself in this way, my inner child was foaming at the mouth and standing at the gate, ready to run at full-tilt into one heck of a selfdeprecating crazy-fest. BUT, fortunately, another wave came flowing in…

A calm and loving presence washed over me that seemed to say, “Wo, girl,” and in that moment, I could feel the love AND gumption of my dad flowing to and through me.

Just as my dad allowed himself to be who he was— surly or sweet, short fuse or kind, mischievous or thoughtful—anyone who was in his life loved and accepted him exactly as he was, and those who could not were no longer in his life, and that was okay. When the timing was right, even rifts of earthquake proportions, such as his many-year, selfimposed estrangement from his brother and sister, were healed and replaced by rewarding, healthy relationships standing solid and firm on what was once the shakiest of ground. This got me thinking and asking: • What If I remembered that everyone—including those I know and love and those who are experiencing me for the first time—can and will only perceive me based on where THEY are emotionally and who THEY are able to be in the moment: That there truly IS no amount of hoopjumping, political correctness, or doing the “perfect” and proper thing when all the planets align that can keep me in ANYONE’S good graces if they are NOT ready and willing to connect on a level of clarity and harmony?

• What if I chose to focus on the true core of love I feel for my mom, all those who matter to me, and even the good aspects of humanity, while no longer worrying about their view of ME? • What if I went forth into the world, bold and brazen like my dad, and let myself BE and express the many colors of ME without apologies?

• What if I remembered that there always would be happy, aligned people who DO and WILL share common interests with me, so rather than try to force connections with ANY person who is not currently on my wavelength (for WHATEVER reason), I just followed my inspiration and connected with those who ARE a match?

Even though these were not new ideas to me, when I connected with the presence, love and resolve my dad was projecting in these sweet moments of recognition, it was as if a very big gate had opened and a wave of joy and utter knowing like nothing I had ever touched before was flowing like a waterfall: How ironic and beautiful it was to see that my dad’s song and message of “I’m Free,” was now a song that MY soul was singing back to ME…

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Feeding the Fire

In the days and weeks that followed, I have continued to feel my dad’s loving presence and unmistakable pride as I’ve taken more and more bold actions to inhabit my next level of evolution. While there is still work to be done and journeys in progress, having a new perspective about all of it has already changed so much.

Who knew that even in the midst of wind, rain and storm, that I would get to allow my fire to blaze to new heights, revel in the exploration of a whole new world of possibility, and have one heck of a freakin’ blast being f-in’, unapologetically ME. Thank you, Dad, for love, gumption and everything.

The Bottom Line: Love & Gumption—Gifts from Floyd

I could not even imagine what my life would be like had I not followed that spark of inspiration and opened the door to what my dad and I have created (and continue to create) together. He was and IS an incredible gift in my life, and his example of love and gumption has been a catalyst for far more good than I would have ever known without his powerful presence.

So my dear fiery friends, no matter what you may be growing through in your life, please remember that you too have a fire within you that is wanting to blaze in all its

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glory and, if you’re open to it, you also have a “Floyd” who loves you and who will guide and cheer you on every step of the way.

Whatever YOUR style, dreams or desires may be, may you know that with the power of love—and some gumption—you too can set YOUR spirit free.

••••••••••••••

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann,“Your catalyst for all things Fab-YOUlous,” is the author of Allowing Your Success!, a proud contributing author of Transform Your Life! book one and two, a professional Keynote Speaker/Workshop Facilitator, Singer-Songwriter/Recording Artist, “Allowing Adventures!” & “Savor Vacation” Facilitator, and true Renaissance Woman, and Visionary. She keeps her fire lit by embracing and promoting a lifestyle of “Allowing,” and by using creative expression to elevate and ignite the human spirit, a passion that she shares with her husband, soul-mate and creative partner of over 15 years, John Victor Hartmann. Together they share “Allowing TRUE LOVE” workshops and experiences designed to help others attract, allow, and maintain extraordinary relationships, and create custom jingles and voice-overs in their studio, THE Creativity Express. Visit: www.TerezFirewoman.com

Inspiration programming. I also discovered I didn’t need to live up to anyone else’s expectations.

It became my intention and purpose in life to be me and to Be Love. Not only was it OK to express myself, it was essential, and I was getting better at it.

I also discovered other deep and powerful unconscious beliefs that had caused me pain and problems my whole life. There was a need to control, to be included, to be important, and plenty of others, but none worse than the need to be RIGHT. Each of these primary emotional needs had an elaborate network of lesser needs. These caused emotional reactions ranging from annoyance and irritation to fear, terror and despair.

Gaining My Emotional Independence Each time I “reprogrammed” one of them, I experienced a huge transformation. Things that bothered me in

By Rev. Marla Sanderson the past had no effect on me. When that happens, there’s nothing to feel insecure I must have come into this life with some worthiness issues about, is there? because it seems like I started out a little insecure emotionally.

I learned to feel OK about myself no matter what others thought and Not unstable—just unsure of myself. Childhood incidents combined to reinforce no matter what mistakes I made. I began the idea that I wasn’t good enough and didn’t fit in. I felt like I didn’t have much of value to see humor in situations that had previto contribute or anything worth saying. I had no self-confidence, was too sensitive, and ously upset me, and to feel more compaseasily hurt. sion for other people as well as for myself.

One time the neighborhood kids were playing outside, and If you’d like to have more happiness and confidence, download a free copy of How my brother asked why I didn’t join To Make Your Life. It’s an easy-to-read them. Though they were my friends, cartoon book that’ll help you change your I replied that they hadn’t asked me. life – if you use it. Go ahead. Click here He tried to convince me to approach and let it download. http://www.spiritthem, but I was uncomfortable and withasmile.com/lifework.zip couldn’t explain my hesitation.

I always waited to be invited. It had become my strategy for Rev. Marla Sanderson is a skilled spiritual avoiding rejection. counselor, speaker, teacher, and workshop Years passed, and though I got more confident as I grew up, I still avoided any- leader. She has studied and practiced the thing that brought attention to me. I would never speak up in a group or offer an opposing Science of Happiness and Science of Mind opinion. All that has changed, but it didn’t happen overnight. for over 40 years. Her website, The New In my early 30s, I met Gregg (Sanderson) at a meeting. He told me later that he Thought Global Network, showcases ideas thought I was cute but a little mousy. Regardless, the relationship was an instant hit. He from many New Thought disciplines. She introduced me to the Living Love System (from the Handbook to Higher Consciousness) is ordained in the Centers for Spiritual Living. (Religious Science). Contact her at 727and it has changed my life many times.

This work was so effective in our own lives, we taught workshops to help others 475-8991, or revmarla@newthoughtglobal.org or visit www.newthoughtglobal.org. find more happiness and love. Of course, nobody benefited more than we did.

I discovered a web of belief that kept me bound to a life without luster. I learned to change my old “fear” programming to “love”

I discovered a web of belief that kept me bound to a life without luster.

•••••••••

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Inspiration

The Log: A Personal Story of Holiday Meaning

A Personal Story of Holiday Meaning 8

By Jo Mooy In the pantheon of U.S. holidays, The Fourth of July was always my favorite. It was special because I spent 20 summers in Provincetown at the very tip of Cape Cod, MA. This holiday required no gifts, no family dynamics, no emotional drama. It was so simple. You watched a parade, went to the beach, had a BBQ with friends, then enjoyed the fireworks in the evening. It was a holiday that represented summer, sun and fond friendships that had lasted over 30 years.

The Log was an old beam about 12 feet long that washed up in Provincetown Bay. It landed on the beach in front of the Crown & Anchor hotel, where it remained for years. It was wellknown as a landmark. To our group, The Log represented stability, continuity and our personally marked territory on July 4th. Because everyone on Cape Cod wanted to come to Provincetown to see the fireworks, The Log was deemed our gathering place on July 4th.

To secure it, we had to claim The Log and that section of beach by 7 a.m. the morning of the holiday. We took umbrellas, beach chairs, blankets and all the paraphernalia we would need during the celebration to mark this blackened beam as ours. One person was chosen to remain and hold The Log until we all arrived with coolers later in the day. It wasn’t hard duty because the Crown & Anchor played patriotic music all day long. And the people watching was superb.

Now, 30 years later, things have changed. The country still celebrates July 4th with parades, gatherings and fireworks.

Those long-ago summer days are sweet but distant memories.

Those pals from the Cape got older. Most of us moved away. Like so many quaint places in Provincetown, the “old Crown & Anchor” is now an upscale hotel, too grand to host non-guests on its beach by the bay. You may wonder what happened to The Log? It was dredged up and unceremoniously hauled away when the Crown & Anchor was remodeled.

Every July 4th holiday I think of those friends. I can still smell the beach and the gunpowder from the fireworks. And I always hear Kate Smith belting out God Save America from “The Crown’s” speakers. Her voice and that song say July 4th for me.

But The Log is the grandest memory of all. For it was our touch-

stone no matter what was happening in the world.

You see, The Log was our metaphor in time and space.

Those summer days on The Log sheltered us when AIDS was rampant and the world’s financial markets were in disarray. The Log gatherings allowed us to laugh, remember, forget, sing oldies and eat lobsters. The Log was where we said goodbye to friends lost to AIDS and where we welcomed new ones into our midst. Each summer we returned to the Cape, The Log was still there on the beach, promising us that all was well with our little world.

The Log is long gone, but the message it left behind is easy to recall.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. Spiritual teachings say that everything is in a state of becoming, living, then dying and becoming again.

The Log’s message is, “Everything is in transition.”

Thirty years later I still love Kate Smith and fireworks and still hold those friends close. But, my new favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I also know that one day, this too shall pass. For that is the real message of The Log.

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Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine.

Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

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Inspiration

The Ghost Ship and the Irrevocable Choices

by Natalie Rivera

Our decisions determine our destiny.

Even small decisions dramatically alter our lives, and a decision to do one thing always takes away an opportunity to do something else. Deciding to spend three hours a day on social media or watching TV or paying video games (like most Americans) means giving up the time to go back to school, train for a marathon, write a book, or spend quality time with loved ones. But, no matter how gross the cumulative loss over time, such small daily choices easily can be changed. Each day offers an opportunity to make a new decision; however, not all decisions are created equal.

Some decisions change EVERYTHING. Some choices are irrevocable.

Living on Autopilot Many people don’t consider the repercussions of their choices—both large and small. They blindly follow their impuls-

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es, or worse, their familial and cultural assumptions of how life “should” be.

Most people respond to the stimulus of their environment with knee-jerk reactions, and their lives unfold on autopilot.

In the most extreme situations, their choices dramatically reduce their options, like choosing to drive recklessly and ending up in an accident that causes permanent disability or accidentally becoming pregnant at 15. Other decisions are more subtle, yet have lasting repercussions. Some people choose to settle for a practical career that they hate or take over the family business out of obligation. They may go to college for a degree they don’t want or drop out because they don’t know what they want. They may get married, have children, and climb the corporate ladder because it’s what they’re “supposed” to do. They may fall into habits or patterns that don’t serve them or keep experiencing the same dysfunctional relationships over and over again. They

never stop to question their decisions and, if they do, it’s often only after they’re already suffering the consequences. They aren’t aware that they could have had a totally different and, most likely, dramatically more epic life.

Only on their deathbed are they haunted by the ghosts of their underutilized potential and unrequited dreams.

When faced with such earth-shaking dilemmas, how do you choose?

How do you choose whether or not to leave a marriage?

How do you decide to quit your job and go back to school? How do you decide whether the freedom of entrepreneurship is worth the risk and uncertainty? How do you decide whether or not to have a child?

All four of those life decisions are ones that I have made.

Each one tore me open inside. The last one haunts me. Some lifechanging decisions are easier than others.

Taking the Wheel On the other hand, there are those who do consider While each decision presents a loss, it’s the ones their choices, especially the irrevocable ones. They weigh the that leave behind our heart’s deepest longings that consequences of their desires and the long-term implications of cause the most excruciating pain. their often-conflicting dreams. The results of this evaluation results in one of two outcomes: I have found—through intenSome leap in headfirst. Their sive firsthand experience and research hearts long for adventure, for a path into success and happiness—that there that’s less worn, for a life that’s less are three stages we must go through to Some decisions change boxed. Sometimes they become overmake an educated decision worthy of achievers who believe they can have it our destiny: EVERYTHING. Some all—both the cultural conformity and • Honesty the adventurer’s lifestyle. They may bechoices are irrevocable.

• Clarity come corporate renegades who aban• Acceptance don the 9-5 model or entrepreneurs who blaze their own trail. They may be1) HONESTY: We must be come the career superstars who also try honest with ourselves about to be super parents. They may opt to move to a foreign country, an what we will lose, on both sides of our decision. isolated island, or sail around the globe. They may become nature I read a poem by Tomas Tranströmer called “The Blue photographers who spend months at a time camping on sea ice House,” in which he reflects on his life in his 80-year-old blue or in jungles, or maybe they become secret agents who travel the home. He considers the life of those who lived there before him, world undercover. as well as the alternative life he did not live. He says, “I am grateful for this life! And yet I miss the alternatives. All sketches wish to be real.”

But the truth is, you can’t have it all. The

terrifying reality is that to choose one path (whatever that may be for you), you will never experience the other.

This is why so many people never make a leap into the unknown. They are paralyzed by fear—fear that they’ll make the wrong decision. Fear they’ll regret what they’ll miss out on.

They spend so long standing in trepidation that eventually they find themselves living the default life that their environment cultivates. The only difference between them and those who live on autopilot is that they ache inside for the dreams they never chose. It’s too late—the ship has sailed. What they didn’t realize is that whether they made that hard decision or not, a decision was made and something was lost. It’s inescapable.

Many people run from the truth and avoid pain so much that they miss out on life completely.

All sketches wish to be real.

Those words shake me to my core. Some sketches will remain etched only into our hearts, becoming nothing more. Only some of our sketches become our masterpieces.

Tranströmer used a beautiful metaphor to honor our forgotten dreams, our discarded sketches, and what might have been. “We do not actually know it, but we sense it: our life has a sister vessel which plies an entirely different route.”

No matter what choices we make in life, we are destined to have a ghost ship.

We need not regret our decisions or lament having to make them. Our alternative lives continue on without us, floating adrift in an infinite sea. For me, this is a great relief.

The question, then, is which ship we let sail away?

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2) CLARITY: We must become clear which of the losses is harder to bear.

The man in the poem observes his blue home from a distance, while standing in the woods nearby. From that vantage point, he states that it was “as if I had just died and was seeing the house from a new angle.”

I have always lived by the wisdom that:

“Distance helps you take in more of the view.”

Then ask yourself this final question:

When you’re 85 years old, which one would you regret NOT doing more?

At the end of this exercise, you’ll be clear. Devastatingly clear. But that’s okay because the weight will be lifted; the decision will be made. And, most importantly, you won’t risk letting life pass you by, robbing you of your potential for greatness.

3) ACCEPTANCE: We must accept the certainty of the life that is truly ours to live and honor the one we are leaving behind.

You may never know what it was like to live the life you don’t choose.

No matter what It wasn’t yours to live. But you’ll be able to live the destiny you have created, choices we make in knowing you made an empowered decision that honored who you truly are. life, we are destined to Some of what you’ve left behind will fade from your mind completely; some will echo in your heart forever.

To me, this means that taking a break, such as time away from something, or creating distance, such as going on vacation, allows us to see situations in our life with greater clarity. When it comes to major life decisions, such distance of space or time can help. Try these perspective-shifting activities: • Cut yourself off from talking or thinking about the topic of your conundrum. Distract yourself. Do something else (that makes you happy). Come back to it when you’re feeling inspired.

• Expose yourself to something radically different that provides a new perspective on life, like volunteering for a homeless shelter.

• Spend a day completely alone. Disappear from the world and engage only with your self.

• Spend time reading a book about someone or something that inspires you.

• Surround yourself with people who live the life you want but haven’t allowed yourself to have.

And when you’re ready, really ready to know your answer, sit down and ask yourself the following questions. Consider the decision you face, and imagine you are choosing to live LIFE #1 and allowing LIFE #2 to drift out to sea.

• What are the positive, meaningful outcomes I’ll experience if I choose LIFE #1?

• What are the negative, meaningful losses I’ll experience because I did NOT choose LIFE #2?

Now, switch your choice around in your mind, allowing LIFE #1 to drift to sea, and imagine what it would be like.

• What are the positive, meaningful outcomes I’ll experience if I choose LIFE #2?

• What are the negative, meaningful losses I’ll experience because I do NOT choose LIFE #1?

Put it all on paper. Include everything you can think. Be brutally honest.

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In order to create my beautiful life, I have sent many possibilities, people and pieces of myself to live upon my ghost ship.

When I find myself facing another irrevocable choice, I am drawn to the sea. I stand on the shore with the waves lapping my feet. When I look to the horizon I catch a glimpse of what looks like the shadow of a sail. I wiped away a tear, smile and waved gently to my phantom self and my life that I’ll never know, knowing that no matter what I choose, part of me will always be adrift.

Bon voyage.

••••••••••••

Natalie Rivera is a firestarter, speaker and entrepreneur. She is passionate about empowering others to GET REAL and live authentically. After a decade of living a life that wasn’t hers and developing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Natalie let go of everything and completely transformed. Through her journey to healing she rediscovered her true self and greater purpose—to inspire others to transform their lives. Natalie “retired” from the rat race at 24, put herself through school as a freelance designer, created a non-profit teen center, and later created Transformation Services, Inc., which offers motivational speaking, curriculum development, life coaching, event management, and publishing. She is also the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. Visit www.ignitelife.me.

Inspiration “Ann, I am simply happy that we are waking up next to each other after 25 years.”

His statement completely shifted my perspective as I realized how much attachment and meaning I had put on this anniversary. It should be so special and romantic, it should look like this, etc. I had placed so many expectations around the anniversary celebration that I had lost sight of what was truly important— the fact that we were together.

The Gifts of Spontaneity

By Ann Darwicki My husband and I recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. For weeks leading up to the big day, we contemplated what we were going to do. A trip to Paris, or maybe to Sedona, or somewhere in Virginia? We knew that we wanted to do something different than we had done before, something worthy of such a momentous occasion. In the end, we decided to go to New England. We had wanted to take a trip there for several years but could not find the time—so now would be the perfect opportunity.

I was very excited as I planned the details of our excursion. We decided that we wanted to privately renew our vows to each other, setting our intention for what we would like our next 25 years to look like. A waterfall recommended by a friend would provide the perfect backdrop. I bought a simple white dress to wear for the occasion. I searched the Internet for the perfect sterling silver jewelry with Celtic symbols for eternal love and soul mate that we could exchange to commemorate our silver anniversary. Everything was perfect in my mind!

The first kink in the plan came when I was unable to find the jewelry pieces I wanted for us to exchange during the ceremony. Then, the day before our anniversary it poured down rain. The ground was saturated and muddy, making the prospect of wearing a white dress highly unlikely. Instead of my husband lovingly helping to plan our day and being as enamored with our marital milestone as I was, he was watching fishing videos. I lost my voice. Things continued to quickly unravel. Instead of the loving, romantic feelings towards my husband I had anticipated, I became upset with him for putting so little thought into our anniversary—and I told him so.

My romantic visions completely dissipated into a full-blown argument!

I shared with my husband everything that I had planned for our anniversary and how disappointed I was feeling both in him and the circumstances around us. He looked at me and said,

With the clarity of my realization a weight lifted—the weight of my expectations.

I freed us both from my expectations and the energy between us quickly improved. I saw that by generating so much attachment to my vision of our anniversary, I had taken away it’s true meaning. By planning and controlling how the day should and would look, I had not been open to the gifts that could come from allowing it to unfold naturally. Ironically, by letting go of control, a.k.a. my expectations, we had an anniversary that exceeded my expectations, a day filled with love, fun, new memories and, most importantly, each other.

I have found time and again that when I let go and trust in the perfection of the moment and allow room for spontaneity, things turn out far better than what I could have imagined!

•••••••••

Ann Darwicki RN is a Certified Professional Life Coach who completed her training at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.

She is the owner and founder of Whole Being Coaching, specializing in coaching others to live the life of their dreams. Prior to becoming a life coach, Ann obtained as Associates Degree in Nursing from Delaware Technical and Community College. She has 25 years of nursing experience caring for women and children, with a life long affinity for holistic medicine.

She is a Reiki practitioner and Nurse Luminary. She is also a freelance writer. She can be reached at 302.750.0574 or by email at adarwicki@comcast.net.

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Inspiration

Before I Die

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By Linda Commito

“Life is brief and tender. Thinking about death clarifies our life.”—Candy Chang

more appreciative of each person, place, and experience. I am intentional about letting those I love know how much I care about them. I live more in the moment when I stop my busy mind to savor a gentle breeze, listen to a bird singing, and tend my life’s garden.

And I try to pay more attention to how I engage with each person on a daily basis, whether someone I know or a stranger, asking myself:

Death may seem closer as we age, but the truth is that any of us could die at any time with no warning and no time to do the things that we truly want to do, want to give, want to say. . .

Last month, I went to a retreat center with several women friends, where we had an opportunity to write on a huge outWhat if this were the last time I saw this person…is this door chalkboard, “BEFORE I DIE I Want to. . .” * how I would want to leave them? If not, how can I express a little It gave me pause for reflection. What if this day, this moloving kindness? ment were my last? Would I choose to experience it differently? I realized that I try to make each day the while there are things on my list that I best one that I can. would love to do, and I hope that I have Would you have any Would you have any regrets if time to do them, overall I feel peaceful regrets if you were to you were to die today?

If so, what would and happy with my life as it is. be the one thing you would wish that This story is an inspiring way to die today? you had done?

What would it take to do live: One day, as St. Anthony was hoeit now? ing in his garden, someone came up to him and asked: “What would you do if Author’s note: The original “Before I Die I Want to . . .” wall was creyou were told that you would die tomorrow? Without hesitation, ated by artist Candy Chang on an abandoned house in New Orleans he replied: “I would continue hoeing in my garden.” after she lost someone she loved. Since then, over 2,000 Before I Die Thinking about death, calmly accepting that all that I am walls have been created in over 70 countries. Each wall is a tribute and all that I have could be gone in a moment has become a way to living an examined life. To participate, visit http://loveisthenewfor me to check in to the present moment and ask whether I am currency.com/before-i-die/ and go to the end of the article where happy and content with what I am doing or with whom I am there is a place inviting you to comment and add to the list. with NOW. My partner Francesco, who experienced a death consciousness at an early age due to the loss of his father and several Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and friends, created a sense of urgency to live his life exactly as he teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, wants to. He asks himself: “How and with whom do I want to more loving, and interconnected place. Her award-winning book of spend my precious, finite time? Am I living my passion? If the inspirational stories, Love is the New Currency, demonstrates how answer is no, then how can I change my life so that I am living in we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Linda believes that my truth?” in order to inspire a kinder world the place to start is with children.

While I can’t recall being fearful of dying, I do experiShe recently volunteered at a Title One elementary school, workence angst over the thought of losing someone I love, especially ing with over 500 students, to create and facilitate “Kindness Starts my parents who are now in their late 80s. I can’t imagine a world With Me,” the results of which include a website (www.kindwithout them, nor of those I hold dear in my heart. But all I can nessstartswithme.com) and a book for children. Also visit www. really do is live fully in the moment and be grateful for every loveisthenewcurrency.com for more information and/or to sign single day. up for an uplifting monthly newsletter.

When I become aware of my own mortality I become

•••••••••••••••

15

Inspiration

Claim Your Inheritance

by Alan Cohen When my coaching client Lana was a small baby, her parents divorced and she never saw her father again. For much of her life, she felt sad because she was fatherless. As an adult, Lana became a life coach and wanted to set up a studio and business, but she did not have the funds. Then she received a surprise letter informing her that her father had died and left her a substantial inheritance—enough to start her coaching business and a lot more.

Like Lana, you may feel fatherless—not so much for a physical father, but for a source of support, abundance and well-being to live the life you would choose. You may feel in some way deprived or outside the circle of enoughness. Meanwhile, the universe has ingenious ways and means to take care of you.

The spiritual teacher Bashar defines abundance as “the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it.” This definition says nothing about a particular amount of money in your bank account or a specified way your support should come.

There are an infinite number of ways you can be taken care of.

Money is just one of them.

I sat on an airplane next to a woman who told me that she and her husband wanted to live amidst lush nature on the island of Kauai, but the couple did not have money to make such a purchase. Then they met someone from a family who had just inherited an 1,100acre estate in one of the most beautiful areas of that island. The family lived far away and needed caretakers for the estate. They didn’t have to ask this woman twice. Now she and her husband live there full-time, enjoy all the amenities as if they owned the property, and the owners hardly ever visit. This entire transaction occurred without the couple having to pay even a penny.

Abundance is the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it.

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Don’t get stuck on how your supply should show up.

You may have your idea that it should come through a particular person, job, sale or investment, but it could come in any one of a thousand ways. The universe is clever and creative when it comes to manifestation.

Affirm, “I am open and willing to have the universe support me in the easiest and most efficient way possible,” and you will set in motion the positive dynamics necessary to work on your behalf.

In my book Handle with Prayer, I designate several different identities or positions from which most people pray.

• One is that of a beggar, in which you see yourself as unworthy and outside the kingdom, and you must scratch and plead to get your prayers answered.

• The next identity is the servant, in which you see yourself as a worker on God’s payroll and you live in the kingdom because you have a job at which you are earning your good.

• The next level is that of Child of God, meaning that you deserve the kingdom not because of anything you have done, but simply because you are heir to the estate established by your infinitely wealthy Source.

While all the positions of prayer work if you are sincere, the identity in which you deserve the kingdom by virtue of whom you are is the closest to the truth and the most rewarding to exercise.

Someone gave me a pamphlet titled, Are You Letting Life Love You? That pamphlet sat on my coffee table for years, and every time I looked at the title I had to do an honest introspection. We spend lots of time trying to make life love us, through people and things and events, but less time noticing how life is already loving us. You have been taken care of very nicely thus far.

The hand of Grace that has provided for your needs will not stop now. The ego wants us to believe that the current challenge is an exception to the presence of love, but it is not. The universe has not let you down so far, and it will not let you down now or ever.

You are valuable and you are loved. This is God’s vision of you, calling for you to join it.

You are not fatherless, abandoned or unsupported.

Those thoughts are tricks of the mind fooled by current appearances. But appearances cannot override the truth that you have an infinite, eternal, loving Source that will give you exactly what you need when you need it. If you discovered that you have a winning lottery ticket, all you need to do is go to the lottery office, show your ticket and claim your winnings. You don’t have to beg, plead, argue, explain or convince the bank of good to give you what you deserve. The number you are holding gives you all the entrée you need. You were born with the winning ticket; everyone was. But only a few are willing to show it with confidence. Ask and it is given, but claim and it is done.

••••••••••••••

Alan Cohen is the author of The Grace Factor: Opening the Door to Infinite Love. Become a certified professional life coach though Alan’s transformational Life Coach Training beginning September 1. For more information about this program, his books and videos, free daily inspirational quotes, online courses, and weekly radio show, visit www.AlanCohen.com.

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Tools & Tips

The Key To Freedom

By Gregg Sanderson Last month, we realized that our prison is the world of Stimulus > Response. The doorway to freedom is the realization that it’s Stimulus > NEED > Response.

The NEED is the unconscious belief that keeps you stressful. The good news comes in the words of Glenda, the Good Witch of the North.

“You had the power all along.”

It’s YOUR need so only you can change it. This month, I’ll tell you how you can change it to end stress, sadness and suffering. I call it Emotional Replacement. It’s unorthodox, but it works.

It’s worked for me every time for the past 43 years.

The first step is to realize that you believe lies that say you’re incomplete, inadequate and incapable.

The Truth of you is that you don’t need anybody or anything to complete you. You’re never too old, stupid or fat, and your possibilities are unlimited.

Oh, you don’t believe me, eh? Look at it this way. You now believe lies that limit you and cause stress and suffering.

What if you change them to lies that allow you to feel good, realize your potential and live your dreams?

YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS DOESN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

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We call it Emotional Replacement because that’s exactly what it does. You use the power of emotion to replace the cause of pain, hurt and stress with acceptance, love and peace.

There are four elements to a good “replacement”: • A scene where you got upset • Strong emotions • An idea or statement to replace the need that caused it • A replay to reinforce the result The Scene Create a picture in your mind of an incident that triggered any unpleasant feeling. In can be from the past, present or even an imagined future situation.

View it as if you were watching a movie, with a combination of detachment and involvement. Here’s an example: • The scene: You are in your boss’s office.

• What happened: You’re told your services are no longer required.

• Your feelings: Anger, resentment, hurt and fear.

• What is: Chris let you go. Period. Nothing more. That’s the scene.

Just who and where, what is said or done and how you feel. Anything else is extraneous. No judgment or justification.

Emotion This is the most controversial element of Emotional Replacement. The more emotion you can work up over the scene, the more powerful the change you make. This is so, even if you’re feeling intense anger, resentment or hurt.

That’s the power of your emotions…be they pleasant or unpleasant.

You don’t “let go” of your feelings. You use their power.

Letting go eases the effect. Replacement eliminates the cause.

The Replacement The cause of stress and pain is the idea in your mind that situations or people must be different from the way they are. You can’t change them, so the only alternative is to change the idea.

What do you change it to? You must have something you can apply to all situations and all people. It has to be easy to remember, easy to identify and easy to pronounce. Think for a moment.

The reason the example scene causes bad feelings is because getting fired is not OK with you.

It’s not OK by definition, because if it was OK, you wouldn’t be feeling bad. Replace the thought that says “It’s not OK” with one that says “It’s OK.” Then you’re home free.

Well, not quite. Beneath most emotional reaction is the fear that there might be something wrong with you. You cover that one with “I’m OK even if…”

In our example, you have two affirmations:

that emotional power.

Then start your affirmations aloud while you keep your mind focused on the scene. If it’s a biggie, like our example, you might even cup your ears and yell them to yourself: “It’s OK if Chris lets me go.” Repeat several times until you feel a little better, then switch to, “I’m OK, even if Chris lets me go,” and keep it up until you calm down.

Replay the scene in your mind and notice how you feel.

You don’t “let go” of your feelings.

You use their power.

Letting go eases the effect. Replacement eliminates the cause.

“It’s OK if Chris lets me go.”

“I’m OK even if Chris lets me go.”

That’s all there is to it. You just have to do it. Let’s put it all together.

Alternatives —Q & A “But what if it really isn’t OK?” It doesn’t make any difference. Remember, this is about eliminating stress. In the physical world, you can take any action you want. You just won’t stress over it.

“Suppose I don’t want to beat pillows and holler at myself?”

Just keep your mind focused on the scene, then speak the words aloud to yourself or use them as meditation mantras. It all depends upon how bad you feel.

The procedure is: (1) Focus (2) Emotion (3) “It’s OK…and I’m OK even if….” (4) Replay the scene to check the result.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose but your pain.

••••••••••••••

Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at www.newthoughtglobal.org.

Do It

Be in a place where you won’t be interrupted, and won’t disturb people around you.

Close your eyes and picture the scene.

Work up as much emotion as you can. It’s OK to curse, scream and cry. All the better if you can. You can even get down on your hands and knees and pound pillows. Anything to build up

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Tools & Tips

Hi, Fiber!

by Sandra Musial What is Fiber?

Dietary fiber is a very important component in a healthy diet. It is part soluble fiber and part insoluble fiber—and both are important not only to gut health but to overall human health. Fiber helps to maintain a healthy biome, lower lipids that lead to heart disease, prevent cancer and, not the least important, keep you regular!

So what is the difference between soluble and insoluble fiber?

Soluble fiber is dissolvable in water and very easy for our gut bacteria to ferment into gases and biologically active byproducts in the colon. It feeds the good bacteria in our intestines and some become gelatinous. Insoluble fiber is not dissolvable or digestible but is important in providing bulk to help with moving waste through the gut easily. It also feeds our good bacteria, which contributes to ferment in the gut. Knowing the difference does not really matter, as most whole foods will be a combination of the two and you will get what you need.

Plant-based foods can be broken down into different fiber components. For example, one soluble fiber is inulin, which is a fructan and found in a variety of edible and non-edible plants. Since inulin is beneficial, it is isolated and removed from these plants and then added back into yogurt and granola bars as an ingredient to increase the fiber content. (You could also just eat onions, asparagus, bananas, garlic and Jerusalem artichokes to get all the inulin you’d ever need or want.)

Other soluble fibers are alginates found in algae; raffinose found in legumes; xylose, a breakdown product of hemicellulose and also found in wood; and pectin found in fruit skins. Some examples of insoluble fibers are cellulose found in fruits, vegetables and cereals; chitin found in fungi; hemicellulose found in whole grains like wheat, barley, rye and oat; and lignin found in vegetables. That was just for the geeky readers out there who, like me, get a charge out of minutia.

Now for the health motivators! Why eat high fiber? Here you go….

Fiber makes you feel full and causes that satiety to last longer. This results in eating fewer calories than in a similar meal without fiber. Thus, fiber is related to lower obesity rates. Anyone battling excess weight would benefit from eating more fiber with each meal and snack consumed throughout the day.

Fiber binds to bile acids in the small intestine resulting in decreased formation of bad cholesterol in the blood. These bad cholesterols are what lead to plaque formation in the arteries causing heart disease and heart attacks. This is why the American Heart Association recommends eating a high fiber diet.

Fiber improves the good bacterial activity in the gut. Fiber acts as a prebiotic, which means it feeds the good bacteria, a.k.a. biome, that are crucial to our health. This biome increases in number and activity as a result of healthy fiber intake. The bacteria in the gut ferments the fiber and affects gene expression in the large intestine, improving gut function, immune system function and inflammation, as well as glucose and lipid metabolism.

Fiber helps to regulate glucose (blood sugar) metabolism and decreases diabetes risk— but the exact mechanism of how it works is not fully known. However, we do know that one type of insoluble dietary fiber increases insulin sensitivity, which leads to healthier glucose metabolism.

Fiber has been associated with lower risk of colon cancer by balancing intes-

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tinal pH and stimulating intestinal fermentation creating short-chain fatty acids—among other mechanisms yet to be uncovered. Women who ate the most fiber (12-25 grams) in one large 20year study had a 20 percent reduction in breast cancer.

Fiber increases the bulk and improves the consistency of the end result of digestion, the “poop.” Healthy fluffy fiber-full poop moves through the large intestine easily and elimination becomes effortless and painless, which you may take for granted if you have never had a problem with constipation. But anyone who suffers from constipation knows that hard, slow-moving poop causes a lot of discomfort not only with painful, sometimes bloody defecation, but also with chronic abdominal cramping and pain from colonic distention.

How much fiber should we eat in a day?

If you eat a whole-foods, plant-strong diet, then there in no need to count grams as you will be getting plenty of fiber naturally. The best way! But for you counters out there, you should shoot for about 25-30 grams of dietary fiber per day. The foods highest in fiber are legumes, fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds and dried fruits. Figure 1 will help guide you toward foods that are higher in fiber.

The standard American diet (pizza, French fires, soda, you know….the whole array of processed, packaged refined foods) is lacking not only in vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, phytonutrients—but also in fiber. For example, if your breakfast comes from a box in the freezer or from a shelf—like frozen waffles or Cheerios—there will be minimal fiber left after all the refining of the grains, maybe 1 gram. But if you eat a whole grain like oatmeal or millet as your breakfast cereal, you will get 4 grams of fiber.

Try the following recipes that say “Hi to Fiber!”

Breakfast Oatmeal for One 1/2 cup old-fashioned oatmeal, combine with 1/4 cup water and 1/3 cup nut milk, heat until cooked (1-2 min in microwave or a few min on the stove) Add the following to increase the fiber content: handful of berries: raspberries and blueberries a few walnuts and sliced almonds sprinkle of chia seeds sprinkle of hemp hearts sprinkle of ground flaxseed handful of dried apricots – unsulfurated ones chopped up

Delicious Lentil Soup 1 onion, chopped 3 cloves of garlic 2 carrots, sliced 2 celery stalks, sliced 2 tsp. curry powder 1 tsp. turmeric 2 tsp. ginger powder 4 cups of vegetable broth 1 cup lentils 3 scallions, chopped 1 tsp. apple cider vinegar 1 tablespoon nutritional yeast salt and pepper to taste In large pot, sauté all the vegetables (except scallions) and spices in some of the broth until soft. Add the rest of the broth, lentils and the remaining ingredients and simmer on low for 40 minutes, until lentils are cooked as desired. Season and serve.

Black Bean, Corn and Edamame Salad 1 can back beans drained 1 can chickpeas 1 cup frozen corn 1 cup edamame, cooked for 5 minutes 1/2 cup scallions 1 tablespoon olive oil 2 tsp. red wine vinegar 1 tsp. hot sauce salt and pepper to taste Toss together all the vegetables and beans.

Mix the dressing and toss with the salad.

Chickpeas with Roasted Garlic 1-2 heads of garlic with cloves divided and peeled, depending on your love of garlic. In a 400-degree F oven (205 degrees C), roast the garlic in 1 tablespoon olive oil for 10 minutes.

1 onion chopped 2 stalks celery sliced 1 red pepper chopped 1 can chickpeas 1 tsp. smoked paprika 1/4 dried chipotle pepper 2 tablespoon lemon juice 2 tsp. red wine vinegar 1/4 cup sliced olives of your choice 2 scallions sliced 1/4 tsp. sea salt 1/8 tsp. black pepper 2 tablespoon chopped basil 2 tablespoons chopped parsley Sauté onion, celery and pepper in olive oil for 3 minutes. Add the chickpeas and spices and cook another 7 minutes. Toss with the remaining ingredients and the roasted garlic and serve.

The Power of Legumes I included mostly bean recipes herein because this challenges most Americans more than cooking up some vegetables or eating an apple, some grapes or a handful of nuts and seeds—all of which easily will add a dose of fiber to your day. Legumes are packed with fiber and they are a low fat, high protein and extremely nutritious—but underutilized—

food in the American diet. So expand your horizons and say “Hi to Fiber!”

•••••••••

Sandra Musial, M.D., is a pediatrician who believes that the foundation of a healthy life starts with healthy food.

Growing up, she was inspired by her father, who had a keen interest in nutrition.

She earned a B.S. in Nutritional Sciences and then went on to get her M.D. from the University of Massachusetts Medical School. After training as a pediatrician, Sandy worked in private practice for 13 years, where she focused on children’s health and wellness, as well as breastfeeding. She then joined Hasbro Primary Care as an Assistant Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at Brown University, teaching the pediatric residents and medical students. Working with an increasing number of undernourished obese children, she was motivated to train at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition® to earn a certificate in Health Coaching. Though she has witnessed the healing power of allopathic medicine, she has also seen its limitations, especially with regard to disease prevention through healthy nutrition. Sandy helps others find their optimal health by exploring the various facets of health and wellness, and making changes toward a healthier whole life.

Sandy enjoys gardening, yoga, knitting and sweater alchemy. For more information visit www.healthcoachconnect.com

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Tools & Tips

Six Ways to Increase Your Happiness

by Sue Musial Bigelow 1) Believe To believe is very powerful. Believing in the unknown, the unseen and the intangible is to have faith—a state of mind and awareness used to harmonize with universal powers. Having faith creates hope, and hope gives us something to look forward to in the future. Although we should embrace the present moment with all it has to offer, it is with glorious anticipation that we can look to tomorrow.

Whether you believe in God, Sacred Spirits, the Universe, Buddha, or a Higher Power of another name, spirituality can bring you peace and comfort when times get tough. It also can offer a guidepost when you have lost your way or simply nudge you in the right direction when questioning what to do or where to go next. Trust in your intuition and know that those gut feelings can

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come from this Source of spiritual energy.

So the next time your plans get canceled, or that job you applied for doesn’t come to fruition, try not to be disappointed; embrace the outcome in your highest and best good. Believe that there is something more wonderful waiting for you around the bend. Be patient, be happy and always believe.

2) Love Only love is the real deal! It is the only state of consciousness that truly matters in life and can bring us more happiness than anything else. But before you can love others, you must love yourself. Embrace who you are, what you look like, how you speak, how you feel, for we are all different. Learn to be comfortable within you own skin. You are a special being and through self-love you can then allow yourself to love others. Love is the

basis of everything. It crosses many boundaries and has no end.

Love others for who they are, not what you would like them to be. When you allow your heart to open up to people who are different than you, you will find warmth within yourself. Sometimes someone who rubs you the wrong way initially can become one of your closest friends or an intimate lover. Love from your heart and keep it pure, for love is timeless.

3) Give Giving to others can bring us a unique sense of joy. The gift can be as simple as a smile that may brighten someone’s day or come in the form of time, unconditional love, material goods or money. When we learn to give, we open door to beautiful emotions we may not have experienced before. Find something that you enjoy and then find an organization where you can volunteer. The payback is twofold because everyone wins. Learn to be giving in your relationships by being emotionally available and friendly.

Studies have shown that those who are giving are not only happier but also healthier.

day to turn your focus around to the positive side of life. Practice finding the positive in every action in your day that may otherwise be deemed negative, and you will soon see your spirit lifted.

6) Create Being purposeful has been shown to increase longevity, and creating from the heart can help meet this objective. Start by creating work or doing a deed such as cooking, gardening, painting or sewing for yourself and others. Experience something or encounter someone by participating in community or spiritual activities. Or reconnect with nature and find that sense of grounding that fills the void and gives you meaning. And finally, the attitude you take toward unavoidable suffering can be adapted to help you cope, heal and find true meaning life.

The sooner you find your purpose and direction in life, the sooner you can reap the benefits of the protective effects that occur with true meaning.

Ultimately, remember that happiness is something that comes from within; it is not derived from external possessions and things. So first we must assess where we are in life and where we would like to be. Ask for what you want, go after it, and then allow it into your life. Things don’t always fall into your lap. You still need to make life happen. And you need to be the one to open the doors to let it all in. Oh Joy!

Studies have shown that those who are giving are not only happier but also healthier.

4) Forgive Forgiveness is essential to a peaceful existence. It is not for the person we may need to forgive—it is for us. Without forgiveness, we live with resentment and anger, which only causes stress and tension in our life and body. We all have had wounds that can leave us with persistent feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance. But without forgiveness, we will be the ones who pay the price.

When you learn to forgive those who have done wrong, you clear your body of negative energy and lighten your burdens.

When embracing forgiveness, you also can embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Take stock in how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and, ultimately, greater happiness will ensue.

5) Gratitude Gratitude can thoroughly increase our happiness, and protect us from stress, negativity, anxiety and depression. Being grateful for what we have and what surrounds us can open new doors for other positive things in life. You first need to be grateful for what you have. There is always something to be grateful for; you may have to learn to discover the beauty of what you behold.

Remember, things could always be worse and humans often dwell in the negative pool of doom! But know that it only takes three weeks of writing down three things that you are grateful for every

•••••••••••••••

Susan Musial Bigelow is vice president of Health Coach Connect and a Licensed Respiratory Care Practitioner with a passion for organic gardening. She believes good health starts in the kitchen.

Sue earned her Bachelor’s of Animal Science from the University of Massachusetts and worked for many years in the veterinary and pet industries with a focus on animal nutrition, where she noticed that animals’ skin and ear infections often could be cured with dietary changes. Throughout her journey, Sue continued to educate herself regarding health, wellness and nutrition, spirituality and lifestyle improvements, realizing all issues have a root cause. Going through her own personal and career transformation, Sue earned a degree in Respiratory Therapy and later received her Masters of Science in Administration from Saint Michael’s College. After witnessing too many patients dying of preventable chronic disease, she was motivated to pursue a certificate as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. Her passion embraces animals, horseback riding, kayaking, cooking, and walks in the wilderness. Visit Health Coach Connect at www.healthcoachconnect.com.

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Tools & Tips

The Secret to Sticking to the Diet

By Rena Greenberg Mandy asked, “How can I stay motivated? In the beginning, whenever I go on a diet and start losing weight, I get excited with the progress I’m making. But before long, the old feelings creep in, and I find myself succumbing to stress eating, just like I did in the past.”

The key to success in permanent weight loss is to develop new habits.

Practicing self-hypnosis daily; adopting positive, productive self-talk; planning ahead; and having plenty of protein available are all positive habits that can become the new normal for you.

Once this new healthy way of living and eating becomes a habit, the ups and downs of daily life cannot affect your determination to be true to yourself, no matter what is going on in the outer world.

The biggest shift that you can look forward to when you change your habits is never feeling like you’re on a diet, but just eating to live and not living to eat.

Gaining Conscious Awareness Mandy’s predicament and pain are so relatable. In order to simplify what’s actually happening here it can be helpful to realize that the process Mandy describes is not unlike the process we go through, often subconsciously, in many other areas of our lives.

My most important goal here is to help you gain conscious awareness of your subconscious strategy in areas of your life where you

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are already successful. The next step is to then employ that same strategy in your own life in the area of healthy eating and living.

Are You a Victim of Magical Thinking?

Looking at your life as a whole, rather than putting the area of wanting to lose weight in its own compartment, makes it easier to release the mindset of “magical thinking.” Captured by the alluring spell of advertising-hypnosis, many people erroneously assume that someone out there has a magic pill, power or supplement that is going to miraculously undo decades of selfabuse. But deep down inside, you already know that this magic formula does not exist.

Hypnosis is a Way to Retrain Your Brain Even though many of the people I work with describe their weight loss experience with my program as “a miracle,” the truth is that hypnosis simply is a very effective way to retrain your brain. And it is only by retraining your brain that you can achieve your dream of living your life healthy—at your ideal weight—over the long-term.

Otherwise, after the initial thrill of starting a new “diet” and achieving some success wears off, you will likely fall back into your old eating habits. It’s similar in other areas of your life, when the euphoria experienced in the early stages of most exciting events diminishes over time. Think about falling in love, the joy of experiencing the birth of a child or a puppy, the excitement when you have created a successful and lucrative business. Going through these types of thrilling life events, you are likely to experience a euphoric high that is absolutely magnetic and exciting—at first . . .However, inevitably this “gift” that you have been given will become the new normal, and your euphoric feelings will begin to subside.

What About Stress Eating?

What does this scenario have to do with going back to stress eating after having initial weight loss success? Everything.

The best way to get into excellent habits in areas of your life where you are suffering is to study and adopt the methods used in areas of your life where you are already successful.

If you are successful in business or a relationship, for example, open your awareness and take a look at your habits in that area of your life. It’s likely that they don’t depend on the fluctuations of your mood or energy to determine your actions. Your behaviors are consistent with the outcomes that you desire.

Since you want to hold on to what you have been given, in areas of your life where you are already successful, you most likely still treat the “gift” you have been given with great respect and appreciation, no matter what dips and turns may be occurring in your internal and external worlds.

automatically self-correct.

The reason you most likely don’t do that with food is because you have convinced yourself that you are a victim. You use labels like, “I’m helpless. I’m weak. I’m under too much stress.”

And you believe that there is some magic solution out there that will get you out of the mess.

Where is the Magic?

I am telling you that there is magic and it is within your own brain. I’m also saying that it’s not something foreign to you— you are already using it everyday.

My goal with this article is to help you tap into this inner magic to change your life forever. The secret? Make it a habit.

Practice self-hypnosis religiously. If one technique isn’t working for you, employ another one because all roads lead to the same place: your inner mind and heart that wants what is best for you.

Talk to yourself, be patient and encourage yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. Take yourself by the hand and give yourself love and compassion.

Before long, the old feelings creep in, and I find myself succumbing to stress eating, just like I did in the past.

Law of Success In all areas of your life, the same law of success applies and it’s simple. Create habits that you are committed to—no matter what the outer or inner world brings—and that are in alignment with your deepest values to create the life that you want.

Let’s look at it the other way around. There are many people who are very successful at maintaining their healthiest weight, but some of their closest relationships are in shambles. That’s because in the relationship area of their lives, they have “forgotten” how important it is to behave consciously and to choose actions based on the results they want. In other words, it might feel great to yell when you’re feeling angry, but chances are, if this is a habit, your relationships will deteriorate over time.

In the same way, your old self may think it feels great to alter your brain chemicals with sugary, toxic foods, especially when you’re feeling happy or sad, but you can only continue that behavior if you stay disconnected from the results, which is exactly what has led you to the predicament you are in now if you are overweight.

Creating New Habits How did you learn how to walk? You practiced. Practice your new, healthy eating habits even if they don’t feel “right” yet. Keep choosing the behaviors that you know will lead you to your goal. Plan ahead, have small amounts of protein throughout the day, take time to sit with yourself—in self-hypnosis—and give yourself encouragement and appreciation. You can do this!

•••••••••••••••

Rena Greenberg, a Hay House author, can be reached at EasyWillpower.com. Her weight loss and gastric bypass hypnosis success has been featured in 150-plus news stories including USA Today, Woman’s World, The Doctor’s, CNN, Good Morning America and Nightline. PBS stations nationally aired Rena’s show, “Easy Willpower,” in August 2015. Her wellness program is sponsored in 75 hospitals and 100-plus corporations. She conducts hypnotherapy sessions with people all over the world on Skype and in Sarasota, FL.

You are Not Weak It’s not that you are “weak” intrinsically if your diet attempts have failed. No doubt, in other areas of life where you are successful, you are consciously and subconsciously consistently choosing actions that will lead to the results you want. Also, you know how to handle errors in the areas of your life where you are successful. If you make a “mistake” and choose an action that is “bad,” meaning that it takes you away from the desired goal, you

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Tools & Tips

10 Things You Can Do to Release Anger

By Maya Benharroch Many people know that anger can be a destructive and harmful energy. We see examples of it quite often in the media and even in our own lives. It causes people to be violent, to act out and destroy things or to shut down from others.

Many people also never learned what to do when they feel angry, so they tend to just suppress it until it explodes at the wrong time. Those successful in silencing their anger over time develop all kinds of ailments—from chronic fatigue, apathy and migraines to addictions, insomnia, binge eating and weight gain, as well as high blood pressure, chest pains and even death!

Anger is a serious issue and one that has been overlooked in many circles for many years.

I personally experienced the extreme swings between rage and guilt when my marriage broke down, and I was struggling financially to provide for my Daughter and myself. I felt emotionally drained, extremely anxious and unavailable to her when she most needed my reassuring. I was doing my best at the time and was already privy to the notion that the thoughts I think determine my experience. I had been learning and developing my awareness and my spiritual connection to myself for some time, when one beautiful morning I found myself literally “downloading” this process of Anger Releasing in about 30 minutes.

This technique became my regular go-to when feeling angry, and it has made a huge difference. I’ve managed to transform my relationships, open up to receiving more love and abundance than ever before, discovered so much more confidence and really started to unearth my unique voice and talents.

Here are 10 things we can do to effectively deal with and release long-held anger for better living. Once you apply these suggestions, it may not mean that it will be the end of anger forever; however, you will have a clear understanding of and, therefore, benefit from the situation that brought on the anger.

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These steps are not meant to take the place of any therapy that might be of benefit to those that suffer from deep trauma. If you fall into this category, I would highly recommend that you seek out professional assistance. But for people with dayto-day concerns I put together the following points.

So, if you’re ready, here we go: 1. Acknowledge the anger: Nobody can effectively deal with something they don’t acknowledge. Let yourself recognize when you are angry. For some, this is easy because they’ve learned how to be alert to their emotions, but others may need some help in identifying what they feel. Here are a few telltale signs that you might have some anger “under the hood:” • You often wake up with your jaw clenched.

• You don’t want to make eye contact with certain people in your life.

• You are suffering from insomnia.

• You are accident-prone.

• You often feel like a victim of circumstances.

• You find that you have a dry nagging cough without having a cold.

• You often snap at your loved ones only to regret and feel guilty after.

And there are many more signs, but just asking yourself and opening up to the truth of what you feel can help.

2. Allow your feelings: Imagine yourself walking down a garden path and there’s a thorn sticking out from a rose bush. Then imagine your shirt getting caught on that thorn. Now, if you keep going you will snag your shirt or possibly your skin, but if you take a step back you’ll be able to release your shirt and move forward again unharmed.

It is the same with anger and any negative emotion: unless you take a step back and let yourself be where you are, you will not successfully be able to move forward without cost. Psychological studies show that suppressed anger can lead to depression, eating disorders, addictions, anxiety and relationships that generally

do not work well.

So, allow yourself to be angry for just a little while—that is to really FEEL the anger while not judging yourself about it.

3. Find positive ways to express your feelings: There are negative ways to express your anger that will not help you cope, but will increase the drama in your life and can cause further upsets. Examples include: taking revenge on people, reaching out for that bottle of vodka, acting in violence, venting your emotions directly to the person’s face. (Although sometimes the latter option happens despite better judgment, even to yours truly, and it’s not always with negative results; however, you’ll be taking a risk that it won’t turn out as you hope.)

On the other hand, there are positive ways to vent like: writing an angry letter and holding nothing back—then burning it. Or driving somewhere a bit isolated and shouting it out (very satisfying!) or punching a pillow, twisting a towel, chopping wood, going for a run, etc. The possibilities are endless. Once you allow yourself to fully let it out, the process actually can become fun!

4. Take time to dig deeper behind the anger: Anger is a response to certain habitual thoughts. Even if we face a particular situation for the first time—chances are that we react with anger only when we translate what’s going on through habitual fearful thoughts such as: • “If they charge this much, I’ll have no money left for me.” (= There’s never enough money for me.)

• “He looked at that woman like he is attracted to her. This means he thinks I’m not hot enough and he’s going to leave me.” (= There’s never enough love for me.)

• “My kids never pick up after themselves, they must think I’m their slave.” (= There’s never enough appreciation or support for me.)

Learn to stop and listen to those habitual thoughts— that are very often only assumptions—and see what loops you are unconsciously running in your mind that upset you. As you increase your awareness of what’s really running your behavior and experiences, you have a much better chance to question those assumptions you follow blindly. Once you do that, you almost always find that you have scared yourself unnecessarily, that you are more powerful in affecting your experience and that people around you were much kinder than you gave them credit for. A brilliant process for this is “The Work” of Byron Katie.

5. Take responsibility: See what this situation is mirroring to you? What is your part in this drama? This can be a difficult task if you’re still defending yourself and your actions; however, taking responsibility where it’s due can bring you back into your power and help you find your freedom of action under any and all circumstances.

6. Let go: This is why some speak of forgiveness as a way to release anger. It is the decision to see the other as innocent, as you would like to see yourself, because all of us make mistakes and all of us act unconsciously from time to time. As you offer forgiveness to the other, you often find that you can more easily forgive yourself for your part in it. This is the golden opportunity that lies in the experience of anger: The opportunity to love ourselves more completely. Once you achieve that, you can draw a line under the anger and blame and free yourself from the past.

7. Turn your attention to what you now want.

Imagine and communicate it.

Experiencing what you do not like always gives you a clearer idea of what you now prefer to experience. As you identify what you now prefer, you can start imagining yourself in this new reality, if only for the fun of it!

If you were cheated on, for instance, you can imagine what it would feel like to live in a trustworthy relationship. If the boss gives you too many tasks, you can imagine what it would be like to have an understanding and relaxed supervisor, etc. If you practice going into that feeling place often, you’ll be surprised to see little things starting to shift in your favor. But they won’t if you’re still holding onto resentment about what is going on now.

Also, once you identify what it is you actually want, you can communicate this more clearly to others and, in your clarity and peace, they can better hear you instead of becoming defensive. Saying: “In the future would you please (fill in the blank)?” is much easier to hear than blame or a roaring silence.

8. Find how you can give yourself what you were hoping to get from the other (because they may not be ready to give you what you ask for).

This is self-empowerment and self-love of the most effective kind. If you were upset that your neighbor was inconsiderate and you discover from this that you want consideration, then see how you can be more considerate to yourself. Where are you not considerate? Do you give out to yourself incessantly? Do you block yourself from doing what you love to do? What steps can you take to remedy that? It is not selfish to treat yourself nicely, and it ends up positively affecting your entire environment. As you are happier, you are inevitably kinder to others, and kinder they’ll be to you, too.

9. Show appreciation and gratitude.

In absolutely every situation, there are one or two (or even 10) things that you can be grateful for. Make it a game to find them and, voilà!, you’re in the receiving zone. The receiving zone is when you are open on all levels to receiving what you ask for. The more you find things to be grateful for, the more pleasing things come to you. This is because now you’re not complaining about your current reality; you know what you want and you are able to recognize it when it comes.

10. And finally, relax and enjoy life.

We take life way too seriously sometimes and find endless reasons to stress and fuss over little things. Find opportunities to play more, be around children, go out in nature and do those things you love to do. After all, life is for living!

•••••••••••••••

Maya Benharroch is a Personal Life Coach with a metaphysical/ spiritual twist. She is based in Ireland and has trained in Life-Coaching, Yoga and Meditation, Laughter Yoga, Rebirthing, NLP and Group Work Facilitation. She has many years experience on how to transform negative beliefs into positive energy and has offered many workshops and individual sessions coaching people on Anger Releasing, Relationships and Living Your Joy. She is currently working with individuals in person or on Skype to help them realize their dreams. For more information, contact Maya Benharroch in Ireland at tel.: +353 (0)85-7154200 or email: maya@realisingyou.com (or anandalife2@gmail.com).

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Coaching

How to Live Your Childhood Dreams

By Brooke Ozlem Erol I believe we are all born creative and powerful, with unique gifts that we bring to the world.

As we grow up, our challenge is to rekindle the passion of our early dreams and connect with our true potential in this journey we call life.

Everything is possible when we are young. Just watch children: Everything is a wonder, and their dreams are always big.

(I never heard any child wish to work in a boring cubicle job for 20 years). Unfortunately, most of us lose this precious aspect of ourselves as we grow up, the part that has faith in ourselves and the gifts we have to share. We subconsciously seek so much approval from our parents, family, or society that we give up on our passions. It becomes more important to fulfill the expectations of others and follow the norms, and in the process we often realize more appreciation and acceptance then if we were to break out on our own.

If we are among those rare individuals who really believe in their dreams, our parents might try to talk us out of them to protect us from future disappointments. As a parent, I now understand why we do this at a deeper level. We are concerned that our children will fall flat on their faces while they are taking risks on their own. We are unsure how to handle our feelings; it is really

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about us—not them.

Uncovering Your Gifts and Dreams It’s important for us not lose our precious gifts and that special calling. They are buried under a pile of limiting beliefs accumulated throughout the years—but we can pick up where we left off as children by making a conscious decision to reconnect with ourselves. It happens when we create silent time for ourselves inside of our often crazy and hectic lives. These personal retreats allow us to hear our soul.

As we practice more “being” instead of “doing,” becoming more aware and mindful, we hear the real voice of our soul buried under the voice of our ego.

While our ego has a purpose (it keeps us safe from danger), we don’t have to listen to everything it tells us to do. We can start to differentiate between the voices of the ego and soul, and learn to feel hunches and hear whispers. Then our intuition will really start to kick in.

As we reconnect with ourselves, we start to feel lighter, more joyful, and regain the sense of wonder we had as kids. As we practice to do more of what moves and inspires us, we start to

feel happier and more fulfilled. Something feels “right.” When we do things we love, we don’t notice time flying by. We also start to ask important questions: • “Can I leave this job that doesn’t satisfy me?”

• “Can I carve some time in my schedule to practice what I love?”

• “Can I bring more meaning into my life?”

For some of us, this is all we need to move forward. We get connected to what we love and find a way to integrate it into our lives in the form of a hobby, new career, or new business.

For others, there is a big hurdle of resistance to overcome and, although we are finally so excited to see our calling clearly, we may not be able to embrace it immediately. We may be paralyzed by fear—fear of failing or great success.

Perhaps we don’t want to disappoint others. We have followed their path and made them proud (hopefully) so far.

How can we switch to do something we love now? What will they say? What if we fail and lose what we already have?

Resistance usually comes up as we are called to do something big, and we need to accept it as normal and then commit to taking the steps needed to move forward. One approach is to read about people we admire. See how they took risks and failed many times, but still persevered. On the surface we see only the shiny, successful part of their lives, but when we dig deeper we find they also faced self-doubt or fear, and they pressed on to achieve their dreams despite those feelings.

Fear of success can be hard to deal with, too, and most of us are not even aware of this stumbling block. We believe success only brings glory and joy, and that we are ready to embrace it all. However, often it is not easy to step up to the plate because our energy has been at a totally different level for a very long time and—even if this level was not where we wanted to be—it became our “comfort zone.” We do not know how it feels to be vibrant and full of amazing energy on our own path. Although it sounds great when we journal on paper and visualize dreams, it may not be comfortable energetically when we actually engage in the process of realizing them. To address this problem, we need to be open to feeling different and have faith that things will work out when we are in our own flow.

The whole process of realizing our dreams may look long and cumbersome, but many people do it—so can you. What is the alternative? Having a life you don’t love? What will you think when you are close to the end of your life and you did not even try? What do you want your legacy to be when you leave this world? It doesn’t need to make the headlines, but it should be something that is meaningful to you and a reflection of who you really are.

Think about people like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Vincent Van Gogh, or others you admire. What if they were too afraid to act on their callings? It would be a different world. Think of all the incredible inventions and technologies around you. They all started as others’ dreams. What if they never created the things we use every day to make our lives better?

I hope you are ready to follow your dreams and make your short time on earth as meaningful as possible. If you think you fall every time you try, find someone to help keep you on track and help you stay out of your own way. You can be who you were meant to be and make this world a better place.

Imagine if we all were able to connect with our authentic Self and live to our full potential!

Resistance usually comes up as we are called to do something big.

••••••••••••••

Brooke Ozlem Erol worked for 11 years in training, sales, marketing and account management at IBM. She moved to the U.S. 15 years ago and worked as a sales and marketing manager at small to medium size companies. She started her coaching business in 2003, in which she helps individuals find their own passions and gifts, getting out of where they are stuck and steping into a life they love. She also helps businesses identify and highlight their unique strengths to be successful in their own market. Visit www.yourbestlifeinc.com.

This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com, www.Transformation-Publishing.com and all ebook formats.

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Coaching

ness?

What Does It Take to Start An E-commerce BusiBy Lisa Clift

Over the past 15 to 20 years, how many people do you know who have said, “I am going to start an online business to sell something—and make lots of money! ?” I’m betting you can count at least a few. Have any of them actually been successful?

Probably not.

“According to many sources, more than 90 percent of all Internet business start-ups end in failure within the first 120 days,” noted Don Silver in a guest column on ChrisDucker.com.1 “Many don’t know the basic tenant of—‘If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail,’” he added.

“Most people seem to think that being a successful Internet marketer is as easy as getting a website built and getting their own domain name and they could not be farther from reality.”

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So what is the reality? What does it actually take to start a successful e-commerce business on the web for coaching or selling products? Before you even start building that fancy website, you need to identify a unique need (product or service) and weave a compelling marketing story around it.2 Then you need to develop a comprehensive business plan that includes: • customer base/target markets and competition, • marketing, • manufacturing and distribution (if applicable), and • a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) To chart this process, I’m going to share my own case study for The BhakTee Life, a business and brand I have been helping to build for more than two years. It’s a spiritually inspired tee shirt company that officially launches this month, July 2017.

Yes, you read that correctly. I have been working on this project part-time with the brand’s founder, Christy, for two years—not two days or two weeks. We both work full-time, as I’m sure many

of our readers do, and we don’t have resources to hire consultants or web designers. That said, I’m not a fan of the tutorials out there that say you can be up and running with an e-commerce business in one day. I believe in the old carpenter’s slogan, “Measure twice and cut once.”

This is especially true in the apparel industry, where I spent a good part of my career. (I have a degree in fashion design, worked in the area of computer-aided design, completed an internship with a research and development consortium, and went on to become the editor/editor-in-chief for the leading publication serving the apparel manufacturing industry.) The apparel market is competitive, over saturated and complex from an inventory standpoint.

In this case study, for example, there is only one product: tee shirts.

However, for one design, there are multiple sizes and colors, and different shirt sizes and styles. Let’s multiply that out: One design times five sizes (S-2XL) times three colors. That equals 15 unique items. That one design might come in three different shirt styles. That’s 45 unique items. If a company has only five shirt designs, that’s 225 items! You get the picture.

While you might not need to deal with inventory if you are a coach or a holistic healer/practitioner, you still have to deal with a huge market that is competitive and oversaturated. And it’s become global with platforms such as Skype. That said, the need for a comprehensive business plan and good planning still applies, so read on.

we do, Christy decided to establish a tee shirt company with the registered trademark “The BhakTee Life.” (The spelling of BhakTee is a play on the word “bhakti.”) This product category allowed her to draw on more than a decade of experience as a manager for Color Inc., a U.S. company that owns a chain of retail stores specializing in tee shirts and related vacation-destination merchandise. Additionally, Christy is deeply devoted to spiritual studies, an accomplished sound and energy healer and a founding member of The Sound Sisters, a Sarasota, FL-based group of women who perform concerts and lead meditations with crystal and Tibetan singing bowls and the gong.

More than 90 percent of all Internet business startups end in failure within the first 120 days.

The Product and the Story In December 2014, a few months after returning from her first trip to the Himalayas in Northern India, Christy Perry received a message in a dream. She was surrounded by a circle of wise women who were repeating one word over and over: “Bhakti, bhakti, bhakti, bhakti.” She fell in love with the rhythm and the vibration of the sound, and after researching the word she found out that it is a Sanskrit term that means: intense devotion expressed by action (service), devotion to spiritual ideas, and to a personal God. In the context of expanding consciousness on our planet and humankind’s growing interest in spiritual enlightenment, bhakti can be thought of as devotion to a Higher Power or Divine Source that speaks to each individual and to the Selfrealization that the Divine resides within each of us.

Looking for a way to share this message with the world and follow her bliss, as mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested

THE BUSINESS PLAN Below is a synopsis of the original business plan for The BhakTee Life, which is a living document, meaning it changes continuously as we learn and grow. Also, there are more detailed marketing and product development/ manufacturing plans that use this information as a foundation, and there will be more to come on those topics in future issues of Transformation Coaching, including the process we used to compare different shopping cart platforms.

The Initial Product: The BhakTee Life brand will produce short- and long-sleeve tee shirts infused with the energy and creative passion of people who channel love for the planet and conscious living. The primary line of tee shirts will feature spiritual messages and artwork, while a secondary line will include humorous slogans because, “Even Spirit likes a Good Laugh.” For the company launch, five spiritual designs and two humor designs will be offered.

The Goal: The BhakTee Life is focused on creating an independent, successful apparel business with a positive message.

It isn’t just about selling a product—it’s about raising consciousness through inspirational slogans and phrases—and creating joy in the process.

Customer Base/Target Markets and Competition The customer base for The BhakTee Life includes men and women who are interested in sharing spiritual messages and humor through the clothing they wear. The initial target market is adults in middle- to high-income brackets. All shirts will be manufactured using high-quality ring spun cotton and retail from $20-$40.

The spiritual community worldwide is growing, and “positioning your product as something that contributes to overall spiritual growth can attract devoted customers,” notes an article on Chron.com by Christian Fisher3. “Validating this type of market-

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ing by delivering the highest quality possible and building community among your customers can be highly profitable.”

But with this opportunity also comes competition. A search for “spiritual clothing” on Google turns up 26.5 million entries, for example. In this arena, The BhakTee Life will focus on differentiating itself with unique must-have designs on high-quality shirts. The company cannot compete on price initially because it does not have volume buying power and does not intend to print designs outside the United States. Keeping the supply chain as local as possible is a priority for the company, which is dedicated to supporting local communities and businesses.

Marketing Popular marketing strategies for an online business that The BhakTee life will explore include: Content marketing: incorporating rich and engaging articles, video, photos and other information can appeal to a target audience and help drive potential customers to the website through search results. The BhakTee Life website will have a blog, meditations, and YouTube videos of Christy using the Tibetan and crystal singing bowls and the gong.

Social media: Facebook, Twitter and Instagram can be used to post meaningful and humorous content and to conduct low-cost paid advertising campaigns. Initially, the BhakTee Life will use Facebook and Instagram for posting new designs and advertising campaigns and later expand to other platforms.

Email marketing: Using email newsletters is an extension of content marketing and it can be an effective way to: • “Promote new or upcoming products • Offer discounts or promote sales • Send out relevant articles from a blog • Mix up product and non-product content so it doesn’t feel too salesy”4 The BhakTee Life will use an email newsletter to support its shopping cart website.

Public relations: press releases, local business networking and participating in events can help raise awareness about and drive traffic to an online business. The BhakTee Life will send out a news release about the launch of the business and attend local spiritual events wearing tee shirts to promote the business.

Pay-per-click advertising (Google Adwords): While it can require a large budget to be effective, pay-per-click advertising can offer excellent return on investment using targeted ads that appear at the top of searches. Initially, The BhakTee life does not have a budget for this channel, but as the company starts turning profit it will investigate using this avenue.

Affiliate marketing: allowing other websites/bloggers/

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companies to sell your product for a percentage of the sales can increase market share. This also can work in reverse if your website wants to expand its inventory and offer a range of products that you do not produce. Affiliate commissions can range from as little as 6 percent to as much as 50 percent depending on the type of product, and an affiliate network, such as Rakuten LinkShare or Commission Junction, also will take a fee for accessing its contacts. 4 Once the BhakTee Life starts to grow, affiliate marketing will be considered.

Manufacturing and Distribution All of The BhakTee Life’s designs currently are conceptualized by founder Christy Perry and executed by graphic designer Lisa Cedrone using a collaborative process. The website is linked with a U.S.-based drop shipping company to print shirts on demand and mail them to customers with the company’s logo on the packaging. This method of production requires no investment in inventory but has limitations on the types of shirts offered by the drop shipper. Additionally, profit margins are lower on this process than traditional volume-based screen-printing.

The company also established a supply chain with a printer in its local market for special orders. In this case, once a design is finalized, it is sent to the printing company for either screen-printing or digital printing, depending on the design. The printer purchases blank tee shirts from wholesalers. Each tee shirt style and manufacturer brand is carefully selected to ensure the proper quality, color and cut desired for a design. Typically, it takes one to two weeks to create a design and choose the style of the shirt, and then another two to three days to get the proofs once the design is sent to the printer and a deposit payment is made.

Once the proofs are accepted, it takes a week, sometimes less, to receive the finished product.

SWOT Analysis Strengths • Both founder Christy Perry and graphic designer Lisa Cedrone have extensive knowledge of the retail/apparel sectors: Christy with more than a decade in retail and Lisa with a degree in fashion design and a position as the editor in chief of the leading magazine for the apparel manufacturing industry in the United States. Lisa’s areas of knowledge include supply chain management, manufacturing methods and computer-aided design.

• Christy and Lisa are not just serving “a market”—they are both active members of the spiritual and conscious communities targeted by The BhakTee Life. People who fall into this market segment typically are intuitive and can discern if products and services are truly holistic or are just riding a wave of

marketing hype. This works to The BhakTee Life’s benefit.

• The BhakTee Life is a registered trademark.

• Awesome designs and slogans.

Weaknesses • The BhakTee Life is a small startup company without major financing for website development, inventory or advertising.

• There is no capability to source shirts directly from manufacturers; The BhakTee Life must buy shirts wholesale through its printer or use a drop shipper, which adds cost to the supply chain.

• There is no warehousing facility, so inventory printed locally is limited to Christy’s house capacity.

• No full-time dedicated staff.

• Limited financial resources for the foreseeable future.

• No bricks-and-mortar locations to drive business to an online storefront.

Opportunities • BhakTee can create products with meaningful intention and mindfulness. Big companies cannot operate from this perspective.

• Combined knowledge of Christy and Lisa will make it possible to expand into other categories of apparel.

• The United States is the largest apparel market in the world, and in 2015 U.S. websites sold an estimated $80 billion in apparel, up 19.7 percent from 2014, according to Internet Retailer.5 • Online apparel and accessories sales in the United States could grow 20 percent from 2016 to 2020, according to research by Goldman Sachs released in June 2016.6 • There is a trend of people wanting to buy from local supply chains and companies vs. large national and international companies.

Threats • Knockoffs and counterfeit goods are always a problem in the apparel industry. Of all counterfeit goods in 2016, apparel and accessories represented the largest single piece of the pie at 20 percent, or $887.5 million if the goods had been genuine.7 • There are many online apparel companies currently offering “spiritually inspired apparel” so there are likely to be copycat companies looking at the BhakTee Life’s designs and trying to adopt them in some way (See competition section above for statistics).

• Inventory risk is high for holding inventory.

Stay tuned for next month’s installments, which will evaluate online shopping cart platforms.

References 1. “Why Are So Many Internet Start-Up’s Failing Today?” by Don Silver, ChrisDucker.com, online article at: http://www.chrisducker. com/internet-business-failures/ 2. “How to Start an Online Business,” by Allen Moon, Entrepreneur Magazine, online article at: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/175242 3. “Spiritual Marketing Ideas,” by Christian Fisher, Chron.com, online article at: http://smallbusiness.chron.com/spiritual-marketing-ideas-43847.html 4. “6 Proven marketing strategies for e-commerce companies,” WeMakeWebsites.com, blog article online at: https://wemakewebsites.com/blog/6-proven-marketing-strategies-for-ecommerce-companies 5. “Behind the online apparel boom,” by Jack Love, Internet Retailer, July 1, 2016, online article at: https://www.internetretailer. com/2016/07/01/behind-online-apparel-boom 6. “Report: Online apparel sales will rise 20% over next four years,”

by Daphne Howland, Dive Retail, June 10, 2016, online article at: http://www.retaildive.com/news/report-online-apparelsales-will-rise-20-over-next-four-years/420725/ 7. “US Government Seized Record Amount of Counterfeit Fashion in 2016,” by Caletha Crawford, January 18, 2017, Sourcing Journal, online article at: https://sourcingjournalonline.com/u-s-government-seized-record-amount-counterfeit-fashion-2016/

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Lisa Cedrone is the editor of Transformation Magazine and a freelance editor, writer, and graphic designer working primarily in the spiritual and alternative healing communities. Prior to establishing her Sarasota, FL-based freelance business in 2008, Lisa spent 20 years as an editor/editor-in-chief for two of the Top 10 businessto-business publishers in the United States, serving the apparel manufacturing and residential construction/building markets. Her company, DragonFly Nation, offers a wide range of creative services, with an emphasis on cost-effective, turnkey editorial and design projects for both print and web. Contact her at lisa@suncoasttransformation.com or visit DragonFlyNation.com.

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Enlightenment

Experiencing Life’s Theatre

By Steve Priester When we walk into a movie theatre we have made a conscious decision to attend a particular show. Perhaps we read a review or watched the trailer. We then chose to go on a certain day at a specific time. All of this was conscious and planned.

However, a subconscious decision also was made as we walked into that same theatre. We agreed, prior to the start of the movie, to forget we are sitting in the show. Our intention is to “get lost” in the movie. If we were constantly reminding ourselves that, “this is just a movie,” we could never experience the film. Our purpose is to forget our everyday life for a few hours.

This subconscious amnesia allows us to experience the movie as “real.” Everything we see on the screen appears real, even the special effects. The emotions that we feel—excitement, joy, sadness, terror—are experienced as genuine, too, even though everything we see and hear is staged and professionally executed. Even the main characters in the movie are skilled actors and actresses being paid a fee for this performance. Since everything in the movie is staged, acted, edited and fictional, nothing is truly “real.” However, because of our subconscious amnesia the movie is perceived as “real.” This is the trick of our subconscious mind.

What if the decision that we make as we enter a movie theatre is the same decision that we make prior to this lifetime? While in the theatre we actually forget we are sitting there. While in a human body we actually forget who we really are. In the theatre everything we see and hear on the screen appears to be real. We see depth on the screen, yet how deep is the image being projected? If we stand in front of a mirror, there also appears to be depth, but the image being reflected by the mirror only has the depth of a shadow.

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Our eyes appear to “see” depth, yet the Spiritual Masters tell us there is neither space nor time.

The emotions that we experience in the theatre are also real—our heartrate may increase, we may cry, get angry or laugh heartily. These same emotions are experienced in our body during our everyday lives. Therefore, the emotions and thoughts that we experience while watching a movie are the same as those that we experience in life. There is a misconception here because the movie is perceived as “a movie” while the human experience is perceived as “real”—as if there is a difference. What if both experiences are movies, and when we are at the theatre we are watching a movie within a movie?

The concept of reincarnation involves more than having many lifetimes. It also involves choosing our gender, our family, our culture and our astrological sign. We get to choose the script, the cast and the plot. We are both the lead character and the movie’s director. We can choose to experience a melodrama, an adventure, a tragedy or even a comedy.

While watching the movie, our mind does not realize it is watching a movie, and the body reacts accordingly. For that short period of a few hours, the mind does not know the difference between a movie and the human experience. What if, for the short period of a few years, the mind is also tricked into believing that the human experience is not a movie but is “real?”

Our senses certainly make our human experience seem “real,” yet While we sit in the movie theatre watching the movie, these same senses are fooled all the time. Can we really believe an “aspect” of ourselves is watching us watch the movie. This aswhat we hear? Do we all see the same world? The human body pect is our soul, spirit, or Higher Self. This spiritual aspect was with feels solid, yet quantum physicists tell us us when we previewed this lifetime and we are mostly space. will be with us again at our life’s review.

Our spiritual amnesia has The life preview and review are like a purpose. Could we truly grow and What if the decision watching a movie. However, at the time evolve if we remembered every minof these viewings, there is an important that we make as we ute of our lives that we are a spiritual difference—the mind is not restricted being having a human experience? by the human body or its senses. The enter a movie theatre Our growth would be stunted by such result is expanded awareness and a memory. Our experience here is perlevel of consciousness that views the is the same decision fectly orchestrated so that learning ophuman experience from a much wider portunities are optimized. Our human that we make prior to perspective. There is also the realization senses were designed to cooperate with that we are “watching” a movie that this lifetime? the production of our life’s movie. The was designed to appear real. illusions of space and time were interA famous Zen koan is told of woven into this plan. We have already a monk, who upon enlightenment, had discussed how “depth” is presented as real on a movie screen. only a good laugh! He remembered, at that moment of awakenTime also appears to be real. We use time daily as an instrument ing, that life is a movie, nothing “real” is happening here, so we to schedule our lives. Yet in reality there is only the “now.” When might as well laugh at being fooled into believing otherwise. we attended high school, it was not in the past, it was in the now at that time. Likewise, tomorrow does not exist because when it comes it will be now. If time is real, where is yesterday? Can we go Steve Priester is a native Minnesotan who moved to Florida after reback to yesterday today? Ironically, a movie gives us an opportutirement. His spiritual journey has wound its way through A Course In Miracles, Zen, and mediumship. He teaches The Spiritual Path nity that life does not—we can rewind the movie and watch again. and speaks to metaphysical groups on various topics. Steve can be With life, we can review an experience only in the memory of our reached at stvpriester@yahoo.com. mind—a mind that we have seen can be fooled by our senses.

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36

Enlightenment

Non-Conformity and New Reality Consciousness

By Owen K Waters Many people in society today work at jobs they don’t like, and find themselves with little or no time for activities that increase the quality of their lives. Such people are being kept out of alignment with their inner selves.

Traditionally, society has pressured people into conformity.

Peer pressure to conform to an immediate social group begins at school because, from an early age, people are taught that they should conform to outside standards.

In England, the phrase “know your place” is used as a put-down to someone who has started to become outstanding in some way. In Australia, the traditional phrase is “cut down the tall poppies.” In Japan, it is “The nail that sticks up shall be pounded down.”

However, this pressure towards conformity has been lessening in recent decades, and it will continue to lessen as people realize that there is strength in diversity. Diversity is natural.

Conformity is unnatural. In the universe, every snowflake, every person, and even every proton is unique. Together, the sum of the parts makes up a perfect universe of infinite diversity.

Diversity is designed into the universe because the universe exists in order that Infinite Being, the All That Is, may gain an infinite variety of experiences. In the case of human beings as expressions of the one source, we have freewill so that we can makes choices.

Making choices, and experiencing the results of those choices, is what human life is all about.

Inner alignment means becoming more of your true self. Your inner being is your true self, and by developing your inner potential, you express more and more of your true self.

In heart-centered, New Reality consciousness, mutual support is shared between people. That means that being different is good, developing personal skills is good, and exploring your own potential is good. Deep within, everyone is equal. However, in your unique form of expression in the outer world, you are different to everyone else. Not better or worse, not more-than or less-than—just different, because diversity is natural and is honored through mutual respect.

The New Reality of heart-centered consciousness is being built on this Earth, one person at a time. New Reality consciousness is a supportive and empowered state of consciousness, rather than the Old Reality consciousness of separation and fear.

When a person manifests their own unique, inner being, they become aligned in the way that a laser beam is aligned, rather than being scattered by external shoulds and should-nots.

A beam of laser light is powerful because it is coherent, not scattered in different directions. Your outer consciousness becomes more powerful when it is aligned with your inner being, not scattered in different directions. When many people in society become aligned in their own personal power, the whole becomes far more influential than the sum of the parts.

In fact, it becomes exponentially more powerful.

When enough pioneers choose New Reality consciousness, there will come a day when their powerfully aligned influence will reach a critical mass.

Then, it will transform the remainder of society and, suddenly, everyone will “get it.” Society, as a whole, will then realize that heart-centered consciousness is the way forward into creating its bright, new future.

You can speed up the day when The Shift to the New Reality happens and, in the meantime, make your life—and the world—a more peaceful and fulfilling place by practicing the Love and Light Technique, which is fully described at www.LightMagic.us

•••••••

Owen K Waters is a cofounder of the Spiritual Dynamics Academy, where a where a free spiritual growth newsletter awaits you at: www.SpiritualDynamics.net. He is an international spiritual teacher who has helped hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers to understand better the nature of their spiritual potential. Owen’s life has been focused upon gaining spiritual insights through extensive research and the development of his inner vision. For the past 12 years, he has written a spiritual metaphysics newsletter which empowers people to discover their own new vistas of inspiration, love and creativity. Spiritual seekers enjoy his writings for their insight and clarity.

37

Enlightenment

An Open Heart

By J. Jaye Gold If you had met me 30 years ago you would have met a self-assured young man. Though I had lived in New York City for most of my life and had the hubris that went along with those particular roots, I had also absorbed a spiritual and psychological foundation. This combination of influences that formed me, created what you might call an arrogant spiritual attitude.

A man whom I had met some years before had taken an interest in my spiritual well-being. He suggested that I spend some time in seclusion in a place set up for that purpose in central Asia. I ended up spending an extended period of time in this isolated situation, and it had a profound effect on me. When that was over, I was supposed to go to northeastern Afghanistan to meet that same man who had arranged my retreat. I eventually met him, and after spending several weeks together, I headed for Delhi, India, to catch my flight back to the U.S. I had an open ticket and had to arrange a date to fly. As it turned out, the flights were booked up for the next five days. I decided to spend those days in India as young foreigners commonly did at that time, in an ashram, so I chose one nearby.

The food and the accommodations were great. Oh yeah—and the girls were lovely. I had no particular spiritual interest in them because they were 20 and 21 years old, and after the profundity of my retreat, I couldn’t conceive of possibly learning anything from them. They were of the Gopi variety—very sweet and devotional—looking like they could do no wrong.

During the day I could do whatever I wanted. At night, every night, they had programs that lasted from about 6:00 to 10:00 p.m. After that we would sing devotional songs till maybe 11:00, 12:00 p.m. or 1:00 am. I found myself going along with the routine. It was mildly entertaining, even though I wasn’t really curious about what was going on there spiritually. When the

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time came to leave, I called up to confirm my plane reservation, and there was no seat for me. They said my ticket had expired. I was going to be there for two weeks, and I could either spend the two weeks at the airline counter waiting for a flight to come up sooner, or I could go back to the ashram where I knew I would be welcome. Of course, now I was in an entirely different position.

When I came back, it was like, “Oh, he’s coming back for more!

Now he’s serious. Now he’s really interested. Now he’s one of us.”

You get the picture? I tried to make it very clear that was not the case, but they were not receptive to my interpretation of my circumstances. In their interpretation, it was the Grace of the Guru that brought me back, not the lack of seats on the airline.

I knew that if I were going to be there for two weeks, I had to get into the spiritual scene, even though the sweetness of the environment wore on me. I was a little bit coarse when it came to matters of the heart, but I still was attuned to the spiritual sense of things. I knew there was something going on there, although it was not something that was necessarily attractive to me. Even though I made feeble attempts at assimilation, the circumstances remained that I was here . . . and they . . . you know who they are (everybody else), they were there. I considered myself pretty convincing and dynamic—an intelligent young guy.

My thought was to bring some of them over to my side, to draw them out of their circle, so I would bring up little contradictions, or mention interesting observations.

As it turned out, when I made my move, all that happened was they would look at me with those beatific innocent

faces and say, “Just forget about that and open up your heart. Just forget about your thoughts and ideas and surrender your mind.”

A week went by, and one day I was sitting with a few people trying again to sell my mind-stuff. One of the girls said, “You know, there’s a guy here that you really have to talk to. He’s from the U.S. In fact, he’s even from the East Coast and he’s really smart. I think he was a lawyer or something like that. You’ve got to meet Harry. You’ll be able to ask him all your questions.” I said to myself, “All right, now I’m set. I’ll have a person to talk to, and we can talk about them together.” It wasn’t hard to find this guy, and when I eventually did, I introduced myself, and told him that I was from New York.

After I put forth a few of my better observations, Harry looked at me with a non-New York smile, waited a few moments, and said,

“When I first came here I was like that too.

Forget about all that, just give up your mind and open up your heart.”

At that moment there was no refuge left for my resistance. I both freaked out and opened up at the same time. I knew there was no hope of escape. I knew that there was something going on there—not only because of this guy Harry, but from being exposed to all of it, and seeing those 20-year-old girls with beatific smiles wearing white and singing and being in love. Even with as much cynicism as I carried around with me, I didn’t have that much self-deception that I could say that there was nothing going on there. I knew there was something going on there— something that I knew nothing about. Little by little my thoughts began to mellow. I began to see that scene as special, but I retained the arrogant conviction, that if only they had my expanded view of spirituality, it would round out the whole picture for them.

Eventually I began to understand what I was there to receive, and what they had to offer me.

But it was not until my last day there that I realized that they really didn’t need what I had to offer them. After spending a few weeks at the ashram, I did eventually take my plane home, but to this day I know that missing my flight in India was instrumental in learning a valuation for an open heart. This event really changed my estimation of what can be experienced through thoughts, which is considerable, what can be experienced through sensations, which is considerable, what can be experienced through feelings, which is considerable, and what can be experienced through an open heart and the love that it allows— which is unlimited.

If you wish to be a master, I can’t help you.

I was taught by servants.

They taught me how to serve.

If you wish to be a magician, There I can’t help you either.

I was taught by heroes.

They taught me how to save.

And this also I was taught:

Chance to open up your senses To the universe that touches you For it will fill you up with its myriad sensations.

Chance to open up your mind To the universe of intelligence For it will fill you up with its myriad ideas.

Chance to open up your heart To the universe of emotions For it will fill you up with its myriad feelings.

These things I was taught.

And yes, one more thing.

As a servant is filled, Only a small bit of what is collected can be kept, And a hero even less.

But to this law there is one exception.

If you open up your heart to the universe of love, It will fill you up completely.

I want you to know that I wrote this poem. Not that it’s important that I wrote it, but it’s important for you to know that’s the way I look at things. I want to remind you of something I told you earlier about myself, and sometimes a poem can reflect a facet of a person that a narrative can’t. It is my belief, and my experience, that whatever else a person does, however they apply themselves, there is really nothing that has that taste of an open heart—nothing. In these times that we’re living, it may be more difficult for us to consider opening our hearts. It may almost seem alien, maybe even dangerous, but until we taste that open heart, how can we really know what it is that we seek?

So if we seek mastery, or mystery, or magic, or transcendence, or self-discipline, or we seek eternal life— until we know how much we might receive from having an open heart, how can we know that we really want to pursue those things? It may be that a lot of our dissatisfaction will be calmed with the discovery of that open heart. It may be, that our seeking is motivated by our ideas, and our thoughts, and our concepts, and our fears, and our desire to control the events of our lives. With the calm that comes from an open heart, and the filled-up-ness that comes from an open heart, we might not find ourselves to be such fervent seekers of those other things.

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Editor’s note: Excerpted from Justin Time, Autobiographical Stories from an American Spiritual Master, By J. Jaye Gold. Published 2016

by Peradam Press.

J. Jaye Gold, in his younger years, studied at a 500-year-old experimental Naqshbandi Sufi school in northeastern Afghanistan. He believed that the methods he learned in this school needed to be modified for people in affluent Western cultures. He took on this challenge, developing tools, dynamics and explorations of consciousness to help lead Westerners toward “intimacy with the ultimate reality, in order to become true servants.” For the last 30 years, Gold has guided spiritual seekers in Northern California, using the “school of life” as his classroom. For more information, visit justingold.net.

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Enlightenment

Begin with the End in Mind

By Rev. Elizabeth Thompson

“Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible.”—Anon As I make choices, I seek to live from the simple principle, “Begin with the End in Mind.” I experiment daily with this notion in different areas of my life—some small and some large— and this approach has shifted the way I live life for the better. Consider the following example:

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I began with a wildly improbable goal to visit the fresco of Leonardo da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” in Milan, Italy.

Reservations are made months in advance if one is serious about viewing this masterpiece; I began the process months prior, but every tour was sold out for the few days that I would be in Milan. I was too late. However, there was one guide, Alice, who told me that if a cancellation came about she would let me know. Being a Southerner and a Unity minister, I made sure that my request was as engaging, respectful, and positive in every email we exchanged.

Throughout the exchange, I remembered to “Begin with the End in Mind.” My end was to see “The Last Supper” firsthand and Alice, without knowing it, became a part of my “experiment.”

Only 30 people at a time are allowed inside the climatecontrolled gallery to view “The Last Supper” for 15 minutes. The wall on which the Last Supper was created has survived time, wars, and bombings that leveled every wall in the church but this one. Thanks to the book by Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code, this masterpiece has become a must-see for almost every tourist visiting Italy. For those of a mystical bent, as I am, it becomes a quest.

The Three-Step Process The first step to “Begin with the End in Mind” is to envision a desired outcome in as much detail as possible. Use every sense to explore the feel, sound, texture, smell, and emotion of a your desire outcome. As fulfillment becomes tangible to the senses, the Universe is carving out this reality for us in our physical world of. In practice, any principle has a learning curve which includes two steps forward and one step back—a Cosmic Shuffle.

Here’s how it worked for me in this situation. In my mind I could see the masterpiece in detail, the expressions on the faces of the Disciples as they reacted to the startling declaration of the Master Jesus at the Last Supper: “One of you will betray me.” The dismay, shock, denial, deep sadness, and even the peaceful resignation of the Master, is displayed on each face.

At the same time, I also resigned myself to follow every lead to get a reservation. When Alice emailed me to join her for a morning coffee when I was in Italy—even though she was entirely booked for her trip—I met her “just in case.” (Two steps forward…) She had hinted that one of her clients might back out and I could step in. “Ahh, yes,” I thought, “the shifts are happening and room is being made for me.” Of course, I would do my part and show up for coffee and, of course, her client would cancel...

Except the client didn’t cancel. (…and one step back.)

In her parting statement, however, I was given another clue that might gain me entrance. “Elizabeth,” she said, “by the way, each morning there are five tickets reserved for the day. They are sold at the discretion of the ticket clerk. You might try that.” With those words my deflated hope began to inflate again!

Now my quest became a MISSION FROM GOD, and I had received my SIGN. I made my way Santa Maria Della Grazie to verify this information. The first woman behind the counter dashed my hopes; for not only did she refuse to corroborate Alice’s statement, she shooed me away with a “Madame, I cannot help you; there are no tickets available.” Stubbornly, I moved to another counter and asked another volunteer. “Please can you tell me, is it true that there are five tickets available each day that are at the discretion of the ticket agent to sell? A tour guide shared this possibility with me.”

At this point I was close to tears. I must have appeared like a fanatic, but I was on a quest and I was determined to fol-

low up on every possibility to achieve my desired “END.” The tears flowed when she said that I was correct. Up to this point, my quest felt like a wild goose chase, and yet the still small voice kept urging me forward: “It is possible—claim it.”

The second, most crucial step in this process is to feel the emotions as if the desire is a reality NOW. I saw and felt myself receiving the ticket, entering the climate-controlled space, and beholding “The Last Supper” in person. I was confident.

Step three is to simply allow. After the practice of seeing and feeling, we must allow the Creative Field to fill in the details. So I did my part and showed up bright and early by 7:30 am to be the first in line, but I was not early enough. Ten people were already waiting. But I didn’t panic; I let it all go. I asked who already had a ticket and, thankfully, all but four had tickets, including me. I then shared what I knew with those who did not have a ticket and invited them to assemble themselves in the order of their arriving time.

I must have appeared liked the crazy, blond American, but they agreed anyway. A Japanese couple, an Australian man, and I stood front and center at the door, ready to take our place when the doors open. Open they did at 8:00 AM, and all of us were able to claim tickets for an appointed time, with mine at 11:00 am!

What did I do for three hours as I anticipated my viewing? Celebrated, prayed, gave thanks to all those who assisted me on my quest, including the sour ticket agent the day before.

I even congratulated myself for staying the course with my grand experiment of “Begin with End in Mind.” Most importantly, I recognized the value of staying the course when the Cosmic Shuffle begins. It is a matter of Right Intention, Right Practice, Right Attitude, and Right repetition.

The first step to “Begin with the End in Mind” is to envision a desired outcome in as much detail as possible.

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”—Lao Tzu

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Reverend Elizabeth Thompson is the Sr. Minister of Unity of Sarasota. She has served the Unity Movement for over 30 years in all capacities. Her credo for living is to live life as a spiritual adventure through celebration and service. How is simple: Be open and available to the enlightenment of the mind by engaging Divine Ideas. Let the heart be empowered through the practice of loving compassion beginning with yourself and extending out to all creation. Following these simple practices ensures a life of enrichment and meaning.

This is how Rev Elizabeth seeks to participate in a world that works for all. Visit www.unityofsarasota.com.

This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com, www.Transformation-Publishing.com and all ebook formats.

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Enlightenment

AAA: The Acronym for Our Spiritual Journey

Beyond Intentions: Embodying Your Co-Creative Power

by Kumari While becoming consciously aware of your thoughts and beliefs—and also engaging in the important process of re-choosing and refocusing them through intentions—there is an even higher state of manifesting, or consciously co-creating your reality, that can be achieved. Evolutionarily speaking, this is an advanced concept, and extremely challenging to maintain; otherwise, we would all simply just do it.

Embodiment I love the word “embodiment” because it captures so much of what—and perhaps, more significantly, how—the great Spiritual Masters have taught through vibrational attunement. Just as the “Pig-Pen” character in the Peanuts comic strip was always accompanied by a cloud of dust all around him, we carry our state of consciousness all around us, too, like a big cloud. Our “cloak of consciousness” envelopes us, affecting our environment and all those whom we encounter. For example, when I personally focus on being surrounded by beautiful gardens with hummingbirds and butterflies, I notice that everywhere I go seems to include lots of them.

As you begin to accept your role as a co-creator of your experience and your world, you also realize how important it is to hang out with like-minded, higher-frequency folks who are also consciously creating for added support. Then it becomes easier and quicker to shift your reality to include more harmony, abundance and joy.

Manifesting Meccas: Advanced Play in Airports Lately, one of our favorite manifesting venues is airports. Airline travel environments are a great practice ground for testing out your manifesting muscles because so many things are likely to go awry.

On our recent trip home from Panama City (we got to check this off our bucket list!), we encountered several gate changes, as our flight to Miami was delayed. We were checking in at a desk to find out where the new gate was, and we met a young woman who was distressed she was missing her connecting flight.

We walked together to the new gate, and discovered she asked for an outgoing flight on another airline so she would not have to stay overnight in the airport. They refused. They also returned her luggage because it was overweight. Understandably, she was feeling exhausted and defeated.

So we shared how on a past trip we manifested two seats (together, no less!) on a new flight to Germany when we missed our connection, and were told by three airline personnel there was no

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other flight to Germany that night.

I shared that this is what I was teaching in our Quantum Creating course in Panama, and she got excited. She also said her mom was a Reiki Master, and she believed in the power of manifesting.

In less than 10 minutes, I explained how we held the space of “knowing” that anything is possible and—no matter how people responded—we held tight to our vision of things working out.

Then I coached her on what to say, and I even directed her intuitively to the gate desk that felt best to approach. But perhaps the most important part was this: I anchored in to the co-creative power within me, and I consciously held that energy for her, too. I asked her to ground into her power and her knowing of what is possible, and then I waited until I felt her energy shift and her empowerment strengthen. When she clicked into it, I sensed a palpable shift.

Some may call it a “transmission” of sorts, yet I know I was embodying the possibility and holding the vibrational door open for her to do the same.

A few minutes later she came running over excitedly and said, “I spoke to a man at the desk you suggested and at first he reiterated that they couldn’t put me on another airline. But I kept talking and envisioning the outcome I wanted, just like you said, and a funny thing happened; he noticed my name was the same as his boss—and a few moments later she appeared at the gate! He asked her to help me because I was her namesake. It turns out she was a former manager of the other airline I wanted to switch to!

“So she hooked me up with a friend of hers, who came to the gate to ‘personally’ handle me getting on another flight.

He even offered to hand-carry

my heavy luggage for me. I am SO grateful, and I totally know that you helped me create this! And you reignited my belief in my own manifesting abilities.”

There were hundreds of people in the same predicament missing their connections, too, yet they didn’t get offered another flight out. So what was it that actually happened here?

1) Clear outcome in mind. She had a very clear idea of what she wanted to happen. Even though she didn’t know “how” it would happen, she knew it “could.”

2) Re-connected to co-creative power. Even though she momentarily lost hope and felt defeated, deep down she did believe in the possibility of things working out quite differently for her. She knew in her heart that we all have enormous untapped co-creator abilities.

3) Energetic embodiment. I came along and helped to “hold the space” of knowing that her certainty and persistence in re-visioning the situation was not just possible, but that I had done the same thing many times. Like Pig-Pen’s cloud of dust is noticeable to the characters all around him, the strength of my knowing and the vibrational embodiment of our co-creative energy and potential is also very tangible, making it way easier for another to step into their own knowing and power as a magical manifestor.

Or as “Abraham” via Esther Hicks would say, we got “into the Vortex” where you rendezvous with everything you have been seeking. I merely assisted her to remember and reestablish her connection with the Eternal, Non-Physical Creative Source that she is.

So if you are not yet “embodying” your full co-creative power, I encourage you to hang out more often with those who will hold the door firmly open for you until you fully remember, reconnect and embody your divine birthright as the powerful cocreator that you are!

••••••••••••••

Kumari is an internationally acclaimed intuitive coach, master healer, best-selling author, spiritual evolutionary, and animal mystic.

Her deepest joy is empowering others to unwrap their innate intuitive, manifesting, and healing gifts. Kumari hosted “Co-Creation Activations” radio show on World Puja Network and the Internet TV program “How to Heal Anything Live.” She is coauthor of the bestselling book Empowering Transformations for Women and just released her new eBook Animal Communication Magic & Miracles: 13 Keys to Deepen Your Bond with Your Pets, Improve Health & Change Behavior Immediately. Kumari is a catalyst for spiritual evolution.

Through energy alchemy and unveiling the human/animal spiritual interconnectedness, she has helped thousands around the globe experience bliss, our true divinity and Oneness. For more information visit www.kumarihealing.com.

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Enlightened Advice

Dear Ms. Spiritual Matters, My husband is a hard-working, well-educated man. He has achieved fame and fortune. I, however, look like a slacker compared to him. After high school, I tried college, but dropped out. It just wasn’t for me. I took a retail job selling men’s clothing. In fact, that is where my husband and I met.

When we go out with other couples, I am asked what I do. I hesitate to say I work at Martin’s Men’s Shop. I tell people I am in “retail sales.” Then, I quickly turn the conversation back toward them asking what they do.

I like my job. I am the only staff member who can do alterations. I also make one-of-a kind ties. I learned the love of sewing from my dear grandmother. I administer payroll for the 10 employees at Martin’s. People say I run the place. The owner is in his late 70s and only stops in once in a while. I might like to take over when and if he is willing to sell. My husband and I have a nest egg so this would be a possibility.

I am writing to ask you what I should do.

Sincerely, Clarrissa Dear Clarrissa, You are creative. You have a dream. With these attributes, you can put a plan into action to make your dream come alive.

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Pat yourself on the back because you have already met one of the laws of attraction that says, “Decide what you want...believe you can have it, believe you deserve it, believe it is possible for you.”

These are not the characteristics of a “slacker.”

I encourage you to make a roadmap toward owning the store. First, approach the owner and ask him his thoughts about selling. If he hasn’t considered this before, set up a meeting wherein you can sit down and determine the value of the business and his willingness to consider you as a buyer. Take this information and discuss the financial and time commitments with your husband.

Good wishes that this business becomes yours. Then, when you are asked what you do, you can say you are a small business owner. Never forget the people in the room who, like you today, are without the means to buy a business. We need all kinds of good people to make the world run smoothly.

Ms. Spiritual Matters

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Susan Schoenbeck holds Baccalaureate and Master’s degrees in nursing from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She is an experienced educator and teaches nursing students at Walla Walla University -- Portland, Oregon campus. She is an oblate of a Benedictine Monastery where she learned centering and contemplative meditation practices. She is author of the book, Zen and the Art of Nursing, Good Grief: Daily Meditations, and NearDeath Experiences: Visits to the Other Side.