Transformation Coaching Magazine June 2022

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COACHING AND BUSINESS TOOLS Rising Star Coach: Quest Delaney Listen Up!

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INSPIRATION & GROWTH Fresh Eyes on Life!

Who Needs Need? The Tenth Pathway The Points of the Triangle Hurt Find Your Heal Mindset I’ll be Happy When...

Second Guessing How to Find a Workout Routine You Love

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FEED YOUR SPIRIT Sacred Sanctuaries: Stonehenge to Suburbia Transcendent Beingness

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PUBLISHERS Natalie Rivera Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.

EDITOR Lisa Cedrone

CONTRIBUTORS Linda Commito, Gregg Sanderson, Nicole Shir, Sonia Sharma, Emil Nazaryan, Mary Boutillier, Jowanna Daley, Jo Mooy, Owen Waters, Ella Hatfield

© Copyright 2022 Transformation Services, Inc. All rights reserved. http://www.TransformationMag.com

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We believe that self-employment is the ultimate form of empowerment. Our mission is to bring you guests whose powerful entrepreneurship stories and real-world advice will give you the inspiration and tools to create a business and life that you love.

Listen on our website or your favorite podcast app or watch the video version on our YouTube channel.

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Rising Star Coach: Quest Delaney

Here at Transformation Academy we are excited to announce our January’s Transformation Academy Rising Star – Quest Delaney!

Our goal with this initiative is to recognize and celebrate group membership who demonstrate the heart and service of a coach. Each monthly recipient of this recognition will be selected for a unique reason. Some will be seasoned coaches who serve as valuable mentors within the group.

Others may be just starting their coach-training journey and exude a contagious attitude or passion. Others may be actively supporting other group members, whether by providing resources, answering common questions, or providing moral support. Regardless of each of our wonderful group members’ background or experience, we all benefit from the mutual support and varied perspectives offered within this diverse group!

The Rising Star initiative is a way to give a special THANK YOU to those who go above and beyond to share of themselves within this community.

ABOUT QUEST: Quest Delaney, Potomac, Maryland Touched By Quest “Healing begins with Me” “Never sugarcoat anything, always be real, and honest with you. Believe in yourself! You’re going to be a GREAT life coach! People are going to admire you for doing this, and you’re going to help a bunch of people who really need it.”

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Connect to Quest at: @touchedbyquest on IG or Touched By Quest on Facebook Quest Delaney was born and raised in Prince George’s County, MD, and now resides in Potomac, MD. He is the eldest of seven siblings. In 2015, three seconds changed Quest’s life forever. He suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) along with other injuries.

The next morning, he lost his memory, emotions, smell, taste, and creativity. Quest was left with the cognitive skills of a five-yearold and it would take him 5 years of physical therapy, and talking to a therapist, to get back to normalcy. Doctors told him that he would never be the same, but Quest was determined to prove them wrong. He challenged himself to write about his experience, which intrigued and sparked his creativeness. God spoke to him and said, “Quest! You represent absolute power, strength and courage.” Those three words were important to Quest because they were the necessary elements used to help him recover from his TBI. From the stance of absolute power, strength, and courage, he encourages his audience to embrace those elements to help overcome anything that they may be facing in their own lives.

Quest enjoys his time now as an entrepreneur, author, inventor, artist, and Master Clarity Life Coach.

WHAT IS YOUR NICHE (COACHING FOCUS) AND HOW DID YOU CHOOSE IT?

My niche is giving people the blueprint that helped me find the “real me” in myself. I simply share the blueprint to help others heal themselves. I tell clients, “I want to help you bring out the ‘real

you’ in you.” I was led to this niche after I was able to help heal myself through therapy.

WHO IS YOUR IDEAL CLIENT?

My ideal clients are adults that are seeking healing, willing to change their mindset in order to be transparent. I work with couples, groups, parent/child relationships, and various other individuals who are willing to be responsible for their own behavior in order to get to the root of their problems.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO BECOME A LIFE COACH?

I experienced a traumatic brain injury (TBI) in 2015 and I lost my memory. It took me 5 years to regain my memory, cognitive skills and abilities, and get back to normalcy. I wanted to challenge myself and get certified to accomplish being a Master Life Coach, which required me to take additional courses. I’ve always wanted to help people to reach their full potential.

work with, and I enjoy seeing results in other people’s lives. Watching other people transform and grow their confidence and energy from our sessions is energizing!

WHAT IS THE MOST CHALLENGING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?

The most challenging part of being a life coach to me is dealing with unfamiliar clients, building trust with the client that encourages them to feel comfortable enough to be transparent.

It also challenges me to be strategic about dealing with people’s denial and lack of transparency.

WHAT IS THE MOST FULFILLING PART OF BEING A LIFE COACH?

It is a spiritual experience to actually see people change and reach their goals!

WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR MOST HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN COACHING? INSPIRATIONAL COACHING MOMENT, I have been coaching for decades, but only recently WITH A CLIENT?

got certified through the Transformation Academy in 2021.

HOW DID YOU GET YOUR FIRST CLIENT?

I shared with some friends and utilized social media to expose my business and share my inspirational quotes and motivation. It was through word-of-mouth following my certification.

HOW HAS YOUR COACHING JOURNEY CHANGED YOUR LIFE?

My coaching journey opened up doors to freedoms.

I can work when I want to work, I get to choose who I get to

The most inspirational coaching moment for me was with breaking through to a client who had been unsuccessful with other methods.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COACHING ACTIVITY OR EXERCISE TO DO WITH CLIENTS?

My favorite coaching activity or exercise to do with clients is having the clients write down all of their triggers and figuring out how to turn the negativity in each of those triggers into positivity. Being direct with my clients about identifying where

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their triggers originate and discussing how and what they should not continue to tolerate.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST EFFECTIVE STRATEGY FOR FINDING CLIENTS AND/OR GROWING YOUR BUSINESS?

Sharing my recently published book, Remember, gives the reader unique insight into my personal experience and helps the audience to connect with me on a more personal level. Also, utilizing social media on all platforms has been the most effective strategy to expose my business to a larger market segment.

be a GREAT life coach! People are going to admire you for doing this, and you’re going to help a bunch of people who really need it.”

WHAT IS THE IMPACT YOU WANT TO MAKE IN THIS WORLD?

I want to spread the love and healing that comes from this work.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH TRANSFORMATION WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF COACHING MAGAZINE READERS? BACK WHEN YOU FIRST DREAMED OF Look in the mirror and love yourself FIRST! Find the “real you” in you and become a better you! Healing BECOMING A COACH? starts from within. Once you forgive all who have hurt you

I would tell myself, “Never sugarcoat anything, always be real, and honest with you. Believe in yourself! You’re going to

or done you wrong, you can now walk in peace and enjoy your circle of peace.

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NOT JUST A GAME! Each custom-designed deck of Just Ask 1 2 3 cards offers 53 thought-inspiring questions and a Directions card. A lovely organza gift bag is included to hold the cards for selecting.

Just Ask 1 2 3

is a fun pathway to conversation, kindness and connection!

Only $15.95 Pathways to Connecting: Deck 1 Easing In – playful questions to break the ice & have fun!

Deck 2 Getting Closer – thought-provoking questions to get to know each other better . . . including ourselves.

Deck 3 Deepening Conversation – Insightful questions that invite sharing experiences and reflections on life and relationships.

Deck 4 Daring to Divulge – Provocative questions that spark deeper conversations and encourage meaningful connections.

JustAsk123.com & LoveIstheNewCurrency.com

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Fresh Eyes on Life!

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Maybe we all need to explore and play more.

By Linda Commito Don’t you love seeing babies of any species? They are so innocent, so inquisitive, so playful, so open to exploring, and totally excited at new discoveries. Why can’t we be more like that?

I once excitedly witnessed the birth of several chicks. Weeks later, I got to watch these ducklings waddling after their mom along a wall overlooking water. She decided to teach by example, and without warning, she jumped over the edge and started swimming, as her babies looked on in bewilderment. Then, one by one, they each got the courage to jump . . . all except one little guy (don’t ask how I knew it was a “guy”), who walked back and forth on the wall, looking down at his siblings swimming along with their mom. He must have been the philosopher of the group, and finally he decided that there was no other choice but to jump. And that he did. I applauded.

I bet you can’t walk through your local park without seeing a gazillion baby squirrels chasing each other around, it seems like EVERY tree. It makes me laugh and, if I were a little

more agile, I might join them, but I never did get tree climbing perfected—at least not with that speed!

Puppies are the best—unless you’re a fan of cats—and I will, reluctantly, put them in the BEST category, too. Only kidding—of course they are!

Who doesn’t love playing with these energetic balls of fur?

But humans take the cake— literally and figuratively! Who hasn’t laughed at baby pictures—even our own—demonstrating that the best way to eat cake is to go face first!

Last month, I got to enjoy my friends’ 3-and-4-year-old grandchildren, exploring Sarasota Jungle Gardens, in Sarasota, FL, running to exhibit after exhibit, unafraid of anything. Although they did go “OOOOOOH” when it came to the snakes. (Never mind what I said!). And for $10, each one got to hold a baby alligator—until the 4-year-old dropped it, and then held on tighter the next time. It was delightful.

So why is it that we love witnessing, but can be so far removed from participating, in new discoveries, new adventures and pure play? Given an opportunity, I love to play with young

children who see things with such fresh eyes. There was a time in my 20s that I enjoyed them more than adults and would run around and play while their parents were busy talking. But over the years, I’ve been so good at managing and deciding things and being serious, which has served me well in the adult world, but I feel that I may be missing some of the best things about me. I need to explore and to play more!

One thing that I have always appreciated and admired about my Mom is her ability to remain young and how she has always loved kids.

At 93, my mom is the youngest-spirited person at her independent living home. In fact, when a new person was touring, she said: “There are a lot of old people living here.” And the guide said, “That’s because you haven’t met Terry Commito!” I’m so lucky that I get to visit my mom, watching her play with her terrier and listen to them singing on cue together. It’s a joy. I’ve learned a lot from my mom, including how to keep a young spirit by being open, playful, and fun!

Here’s to recapturing the joys and freshness of new discoveries.

Love is the New Currency with Linda Commito Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Linda’s award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love Is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Her latest project, the card game Just Ask 1 2 3, was inspired by a desire to ­connect people of all different ages, beliefs and lifestyles to share our individuality and find commonality. Linda also created “Kindness Starts with Me,” a program, book and website for children. For more information visit http://www.LoveistheNewCurrency.com or visit the Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Justask123game.

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Who Needs Need? The Tenth Pathway

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By Gregg Sanderson The Twelve Pathways are from the Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes, Jr., and this is a pathway I get to travel often. It relates to the past and future—guilt and worry.

“Blah Blah Blah” goes the mind after that argument when you think of what you should have said.

“Chuckle Chuckle Chuckle” goes the mind when you think of getting even with the one who done you wrong.

“Wah Wah Wah” goes the mind as you realize the consequences from a choice you made or something you did.

On and on and on goes the mind chatter in response to the thousands of stimuli it gets each day, often without any connection at all.

It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s usually irrelevant.

The idea of “unitively merging” is part of the state Keyes calls “Cosmic Consciousness.” In a nutshell, we’re all one— everybody and ev-erything—because we’re made of the stuff of the Universe. I don’t know how long it will take to perceive it, but your chances increase as your rational mind slows down.

Think of your rational mind as a sym-phony orchestra, and the musicians in the brass section have their music upside down.

“I am continually calming...”—It’s not just occasionally, continually. “...the restless scanning of my rational mind...”—the noisy brass section.

“...in order to perceive the finer energies...”—the strings and woodwinds... “...that enable me to unitively merge with everything around me.”—that carry the melody of love and happiness.

To carry the metaphor further, the brass is playing fortissimo while the rest of the orchestra is pianissimo, and the conductor has left the podium.

So how do we “calm the restless scanning...?” One way is to focus on something in the moment. Consider a tree.

Most of the time we see a tree as part of the scenery. Instead, find just one and think of it as yours for the moment. Notice the whole tree, then the branches and leaves in constant motion. Hear them rustle in the breeze, and perhaps even feel the roughness of the bark. Does it have a fragrance? If it’s a fruit tree, can you taste the fruit?

Consider the context. Think of its age, and all that may have changed around it over the years. How might you interact with it? What would happen if you chop it down? Will it become part of somebody’s house?—or in a fireplace keep a family warm?

As you do the tree exercise, your mind chatter slows down. Occupy yourself with something of the moment, and the chatter fades.

This gives you the chance to “unitively merge.” Give your tree a hug and hold it for a full minute. You might just get a taste of merging.

Now try it with people.

Happiness is BS with Gregg Sanderson

Gregg Sanderson, one of our long-time contributors, passed to spirit in September 2021, and we are continuing the 12 Pathways Series in his honor. He also authored Spirit with a Smile and The World According to BOB. During his life, he was a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books include What Ever Happened to Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing the Pain of Divorce.

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Photo Credit: Unsplash/Matteo Vistocco

The Points of the Triangle Hurt

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How to start moving beyond the victim-predator-rescuer pattern.

By Nicole Shir I will always remember learning about the triangle. I was in a conflict resolution class in college, and a classmate shared information regarding the victim-rescuer-predator triangle. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to hear more. I learned all of us carry this triangle, and that everybody has been hurt at some point. If we do not take the time to heal properly in our lives, we will collectively remain within the triangle.

Everyone has had hurt and pain in their life. When we start comparing our trauma, wounds or struggles, it is like we have seen the door to the triangle open and walked right into it under a neon sign flashing, “Welcome!” When we enter the triangle, there is a person inside who has a big smile, but we might not even notice them because the patterns are so familiar. The person standing at the door doesn’t have our best interest in mind, and, with an evil snicker they quickly shut the door, it locks with a loud boom, and we are so lost in the triangle we can’t perceive anything outside of it. Within seconds, we are bouncing between the angles hitting everyone we see with the corners. The people we impact may get hit with the predator corner or the rescuer corner or the impact might cause them to seek

out ways to be victimized. Who knows what part may poke them? This is just one example of how the victim-predator-rescuer triangle can manifest.

We live our lives in our hurting. As we hurt, we hurt others by reliving our pain, which stops the fullness of our belonging in healthy community. This keeps us in torment and everyone around us in torment, too.

Human beings need belonging. If we are not balanced in ourselves, we cannot find belonging. The pattern of the victim-predator-rescuer can wreak havoc on our belonging. You may be asking, “How do I stop living in the triangle?” or “How do I help myself to stop affecting the people I love?”

I believe it starts with a simple two-step process. The first step is awareness and acknowledgment that the triangle exists, and that you have been a participant for years. The second step is to get help. Work with someone who fits your needs and understands how you function in the triangle. If you are willing and they are a trained professional, together you both should be able to break the patterns that cause you to walk through that door and participate with those victim-rescuer-predator patterns.

As I have become healthier and more aware of patterns, I can see the warning signs flashing: Beware, danger you are about to enter

the ­triangle. This has given me the power of choice to shut the door and not enter the triangle. I feel I can walk away skillfully without participating.

My progress has allowed me to feel healthy and happier. I couldn’t say that before I learned these skills.

I no longer feel the need to compete or compare with anyone on who has bigger wounds in life or feel bad when people who have been through less get empathy when I don’t.

I don’t make snarky comments that could hurt someone. I try to give empathy to those who hurt, remembering we all need empathy. Empathy is not a player in the triangle, and, when I stand with empathy, I know I am less likely to be pulled into the triangle. I can remove myself when people get too intense in a polite but direct way.

I have empathy and can give voice to those who are hurting and still feel like I have a voice. I could not have done that before I started this work.

Learning about this triangle and acquiring skills that reduce my participation and involvement in the patterns of the victim-rescuer-predator triangle has been one of the greatest gifts I have been given in my life. I am grateful to share this gift with you.

My hope is that you are now aware of this triangle, and that you will accept this gift, like I did, and become healthier and happier.

Nicole Shir did her undergraduate degree minoring in business and conflict resolution and completed her master’s in industrial organizational psychology. She has several certifications including Life Coaching. On a road trip with her co-collaborator, “The Needs Languages” was discovered.

Nicole discovered that many of the personalities models currently available do not address how personalities communicate and connect with each other and in community. Since then, she has written three booklets. Find out more at http://www.Amazon.com. She currently offers The Needs Languages: Bringing Balance & Belonging in Dating on Kindle Unlimited for free on Amazon. Find out more at https://www.thesevencandles.com/

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Find Your Heal Mindset

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“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”—Maya Angelou

By Sonia Sharma Going through changes in a being like a butterfly is automatic, but, as humans, we have the free will to either choose to mentally transform or stay in the confines of the cocoon around our trauma, betrayal, injustice or hurt.

HURT MINDSET

I call the cocoon of our hurt the “hurt mindset.” In this mindset, our life, mind, and emotions are encircled by the trauma, betrayal, injustice or hurt we experienced. Our thinking is limited and guided by the hurt, and we continue to focus on all that went wrong. This is not to diminish the trauma, betrayal, injustice or hurt in any way—our hurt has its rightful place, and we should acknowledge and articulate our hurt.

However, after a certain point, only one of the two will be dominant—either our static identity now limited by the hurt, or our new dynamic identity consciously redefined after the hurt.

HEAL MINDSET

I call the positive mental transformation in response to a trauma, betrayal, injustice or hurt the “heal mindset.” In the heal mindset, we are focused on our healing beyond what went wrong or with whom the blame lies. We decide to advance ourselves past the hurts, traumas, betrayals and are committed to elevating our well-being and enhancing the quality of our life.

ROLE OF HEAL MINDSET IN SELF-HEALING

It is important to understand that “the hurt” has been our reaction to a wrongdoing by the other person. The reaction may be justified, but it is not helping us thrive in our life the way we would like to thrive. So, we can now choose how we respond to the current situation.

Each of us has the ability to transform our reaction of hurt into a response of self-healing. Creating and maintaining a heal mindset can help provide the resilience and grace to build a better life for ourselves. It gets us unstuck from the comfort zone of replaying the hurt repeatedly in our minds and ­feeling

justified. Rather than unintentionally using the hurt as a weapon that continues to grow hurt, we can transform it into a resource that heals.

ACTION STEPS: WAYS TO DEVELOP A HEAL MINDSET

1) Intercept & replace: “Be mindful of your self-talk. It is a conversation with the universe.” –Angie Karan As part of the self-talk we have, we may keep hovering over and around the hurtful experience. It may take many forms, such as continuing to constantly talk about the experience, reliving the hurt, feeling sorry for yourself, or criticizing/ blaming yourself or others. It is integral to intercept this inner hurt or victim dialog and replace it instead with a healing choice. For example, is there a way to redefine an aspect of the experience that empowers you? Can this narration of the hurt be a way to advocate for yourself?

2) Start pivoting toward healing: Developing a heal mindset takes gentle practice and consistency. We must be persistent in persuading our mind to take slight turns away from the hurt and pivot toward our healing and recovery. The turns away from the hurt and pivots toward healing can be either big or small. As long as the effort is made, it counts toward recovery and well-being. In addition, we have to be on a healing diet of understanding, support, kindness, compassion, and inspiration to action. This will start liberating us from the hurt mindset and empower us through the heal mindset.

3) Reframe the hurtful experience: A crucial step to developing a heal mindset is to reframe the hurtful experience at its crux. Your soul is on a journey specific to you. You passed this experience, and your soul received the understandings necessary to move successfully in your journey. It is important to suspend negativity and judgement around this experience for you, even if, at first, it is done temporarily, and impartially examine the learnings you have received for your unique path in life. Reframing the hurtful experience in this way allows us to reclaim our life and continued well-being.

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MEDITATION

It is time for me to stand in my space and own ALL of my life. I take ownership of all my successes and learnings. I am authentic. I value and deeply engage with my journey of purpose.

I am emotionally intelligent. I receive support in areas in which I am vulnerable and help others where I am strengthened.

I believe in the possibilities for my desires, for what I want to create in this life. Toward that end, I have a heal mindset in which I break down my personal barriers and collaborate with my potential.

I live my best life. Thank you.

SPACE FOR REFLECTION

Now give yourself time to contemplate on these questions: 1) Is there a way to redefine an aspect of your life experience that empowers you?

2) In what way have you become wiser through your experiences?

3) How can you better use your strengths? How did you develop your current strengths? Can you use similar strategies to strengthen areas in which you might need support?

4) What do you need to self-heal so you are living up to your potential?

5) What does a heal mindset look like for you?

Sonia Sharma is a speaker and author in the personal development industry. Her work centers on self-healing and living one's best life. She has also served as a university lecturer for the last 15 years at various prestigious institutions such as Stanford, Columbia University and UC Berkeley. She has been interviewed on radio and television shows, participated and presented at international conferences and published articles and books. She can be reached at sonia108lotus@gmail.com.

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NOT JUST A GAME! Each custom-designed deck of Just Ask 1 2 3 cards offers 53 thought-inspiring questions and a Directions card. A lovely organza gift bag is included to hold the cards for selecting.

Just Ask 1 2 3

is a fun pathway to conversation, kindness and connection!

Only $15.95 Pathways to Connecting: Deck 1 Easing In – playful questions to break the ice & have fun!

Deck 2 Getting Closer – thought-provoking questions to get to know each other better . . . including ourselves.

Deck 3 Deepening Conversation – Insightful questions that invite sharing experiences and reflections on life and relationships.

Deck 4 Daring to Divulge – Provocative questions that spark deeper conversations and encourage meaningful connections.

JustAsk123.com & LoveIstheNewCurrency.com

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I’ll be Happy When...

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Warren Wong

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Satisfaction based on attainment is always temporary because we can only be truly happy here and now.

By Emil Nazaryan I’ll be happy when: • I have a lot of money • Go on a vacation in the Caribbean • Buy my dream house • Buy my dream car • Win a lottery • Become the top performer in my industry • My family appreciates me • All my troubles fade away Do you notice the inherent flaw in the statements above? If not, rejoice, because today is the day that you awaken! Today is the day your perception of happiness changes! Why? Here it goes…

Most of us live our days in hopes that better days will come. We think that our happiness is at some point in the future, tied to some acquisition, event, achievement or person. We distract our mind from the present and keep it in some magic place in the future, where our happiness exists. How often do you see people in 7-Elevens spending perhaps their last dollar buying a lottery ticket, really believing that winning the hundred million dollar jackpot is going to give them the happiness they’ve been craving? Are you one of those people? I know I was, for the majority of my adult life. But then something changed and that changed everything.

What happened? Did I win the lottery? Did I go on a vacation? Did I buy my dream house, my dream car, become a top performer in my industry? Did my family start appreciating me? Did all my troubles fade away?

First of all, let’s investigate the cause of our unhappiness. From early childhood we are programmed to look for happiness as a thing that exists apart and separate from us. We are taught to believe that we have to work hard for it, make sacrifices to find that illusory feeling. Those who teach us were taught the same thing, going back thousands of years, so they are not to blame. Before getting to the root of the search, let’s answer a simple question. Does a conventional search for lasting happiness work?

Have you ever found lasting happiness after attaining a goal, or an object of your desire? You surely got the satisfaction, but how long did it last?

How does an achievement from two years ago make you happy today? Satisfaction based on attainment is always temporary. Hence lasting happiness can’t be found somewhere out there in the future, in things, experiences, achievements or relationships.

Does this mean we should stop striving, desiring and chasing our dreams? Of course not.

But we may want to look at our motives, and approach this striving from a different angle.

So, what did happen, that changed my life around? By the grace of God, through different books and authors a clear message made a life-changing impact on my soul. The essence of the message was that we can only be happy here and now. This seed flourished through the practice of gratitude. And what is gratitude but a feeling of contentment and satisfaction with what you already have? Interestingly, what you have doesn’t really matter, as long as you are already grateful for the little that you do have. As little and as profound

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Photo Credit: Unsplash/Nick Owuor

as being alive. THAT was the game changer. It was the realization that nothing in the future can make me any happier than I am here and now, at every breathing moment. In fact, the future can only be experienced as now when it arrives. So, why not stay happy in this now that lasts forever?

From this moment on don’t let your happiness live in the future.

Continue striving, setting and achieving goals, but do it not in the hopes of gaining happiness, but from the viewpoint that you are already happy, no matter the outcome. This understanding comes with a paradoxical twist. Being in the internal state of happiness and satisfaction attracts external success, a success that feels almost effortless. How do I know?

I did not win the lottery. In fact, I haven’t played one since. I stopped worrying about the family appreciating me but, instead, started appreciating the family members the way they are. My troubles did fade away because it turned out that most of them only existed in my mind—and a grateful mind doesn’t have space for imaginary troubles. Vacations, dream cars, dream houses, success in career manifested themselves as well, but they didn’t add anything to the happiness that is already total, complete, constant, eternal here and now.

So, are you happy now, or will you be happy when…?

Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com.

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Second Guessing

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It is so often in hindsight that we learn our lessons and find our way forward.

By Mary Boutieller Have you ever second-guessed a decision and wished you had done it differently?

While planning a recent visit to see dear friends, I said “yes” to an invitation to go to an outdoor concert, compliments of our friends. I thought it could be fun to sit outside on a lovely evening amongst a hundred or so people and enjoy some music. I would have my mask at the ready, just in case I felt vulnerable, but thought it would be just fine. I didn’t bother to ask more about the venue or the expected size of the crowd. The picture in my mind seemed sufficient for the evening ahead.

So imagine my surprise when we arrived to see a lot of cars in the area!

Still not quite comprehending the situation, we headed toward the entrance to find a sea of people—no, an ocean of people, all sandwiched in, making their way forward. My idea of a “hundred or so” people ended up being thousands; and I soon found out that the venue would hold 20,000 people, all of whom seemed to be there at the moment. Astonishment led to despair, and despair led to a near-panic attack, such that I had to leave, with friends in tow, before we had even gotten through the gate.

Afterward, I’ve had time to contemplate what happened and how I responded to it. Initially I questioned my sense of self. Was I not as strong, resilient, or in control as I thought myself to be? I always thought I was more ­adventurous, daring and bold than I felt that evening.

But then I realized that I am all of that, and more. I understood that I just wasn’t ready for, or comfortable with, the situation in which I found myself. And although my prefrontal cortex was trying to rationalize the situation, my primitive brain was telling me to get the heck out of there. I didn’t feel safe and I didn’t want to stay. And that was okay.

The truth is that we all have our comfort levels and our tolerances for risk and reward. After two years of Covid restrictions and the weariness that entailed, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that I reacted in that way.

In retrospect, I wish I had asked more questions. That is the life lesson for me. When we are unsure about something, when our instinct is to do or not do something, it’s extremely helpful to gather more information so that we can make as informed a decision as possible...given that things can always change. Had I inquired, I would have realized that it wasn’t for me and I would

have saved myself, my husband, and our friends undue stress.

This event, and others like it, help me figure out who I am as I negotiate living in this world. It is so often in hindsight that we learn our lessons and find our way forward. I am grateful to my friends who supported me in that moment and left with me, even though I wanted them to stay. I’m grateful that I paid attention to what was happening to me and left, even if it meant I might disappoint friends who had worked hard to make the concert happen. And I am grateful for the opportunity to contemplate how I might proceed in the future.

Have you ever found yourself going along with the crowd when you knew it wasn’t for you? Have you ever secondguessed a decision and wished you had done it differently?

I’m reminded, too, that we all make mistakes, perceived or otherwise.

So to berate myself for not making the “right” decision every time would be silly.

Instead, I will breathe in the lesson, keep what I can use, and let go of the rest.

Mark Nepo said, “We are stronger, gentler, more resilient, and more beautiful than any of us imagine.”

May we be gentle with ourselves and remember that we are all of this, and more!

The Yoga of Life with Mary Boutieller Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

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Listen Up!

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Why active listening is an essential skill for professional life coaches.

By Jowanna Daley Though we spend 70 to 80 percent of our waking hours communicating, most people only hold onto 50 percent of a conversation, and it drops to 25 percent 48 hours later. Your ability to listen is tightly related to how well you relate to others.

Active listening is where you are not just hearing someone speak. Instead, you are listening to understand the complete message and ensure the speaker feels heard. It means that you must pay attention to the context around the message. It also demonstrates that you care to understand what the speaker is saying, and reputable professional life coaches master this essential interpersonal communication skill. It’s key to building trust and rapport with your clients.

Still, there is a time and a place when you actively listen, and it may not come naturally to you.

If you take notice, you may at times start formulating a response while someone is speaking. That’s why it’s crucial to learn and practice active listening.

Why is active listening an important skill for a professional life coach? People hire life coaches to move forward. If your clients spend their sessions trying to explain the same point repeatedly, they will not share their most intimate thoughts and feelings. It will also put your problem-solving skills in question.

Active listening requires more than verbal communication. It requires you to demonstrate to your conversation partners (your clients) that you understand and empathize with their positions. You can show dedication to your clients by: • Maintaining eye contact.

• Paying attention to the speaker’s facial expressions.

• Asking clarification questions.

• Relaying that you understand the message by rephrasing key points.

You can learn how to become an effective listener. It not only requires education, but also dedication to practicing active listening techniques. Also, make sure to get continuous feedback from your clients in sessions and through surveys and other feedback mechanisms.

BENEFITS OF ACTIVE LISTENING Can you think of a client or customer that wouldn’t value business owners who are good listeners? It can make a difference on whether you acquire or retain clients. There are so many benefits to paying attention including: 1) Active listening helps you build authentic connections and relationships. Have you ever shared a personal story only to find the person was not paying attention?

It doesn’t feel good. But, on the other hand, when you

demonstrate that you genuinely care, people feel a bond and want to build a relationship with you. Clients want to trust you. They’ve come to you because they are looking for an expert who can help them move forward.

2) Active listening also increases productivity and streamlines problem solving. Clients seek out a professional life coach to move forward with goals and improve their quality of life. It’s essential to pay attention to everything—their intake form, things they casually mention, and their body language.

Your client may not know how to articulate what they’re thinking. They may not always know why they’re struggling or what they want. As a coach, you can fast-track their progress by looking out for inconsistencies and affirming progress that they take for granted.

As a professional, you must be able to demonstrate with each session why your clients hired you. They are not looking for complex solutions; they want someone to listen and give them insight and expert advice.

3) Active listening helps you avoid misunderstandings and quickly make corrections. Everyone makes ­mistakes; however, an active listener minimizes misunderstandings. Most importantly, misunderstandings are quickly corrected.

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS Active listening is just like any other skill—you must practice it and constantly use it. Use it in both your personal and professional interactions.

There are different types of listening, so it’s important to learn the situations that require active listening. For instance, if your client asks you the time, implementing active listening would be over the top and will come off insincere.

Clean up. Next, minimize distractions by clearing your area. Make sure your desk is free of distractions. Taking a moment to meditate and clear your mind also helps. Some people start their sessions with affirmation, meditation, or prayer. Train your mind to recognize your pre-session activities.

Don’t interrupt. Have you ever had a classmate or coworker interrupt the instructor only to ask a question right in the middle of explaining a lesson? People have different communication styles. Interrupting someone when they speak may indicate that you are in a hurry or insensitive to their feelings.

Shut down the inner chatter. Do you find yourself daydreaming, thinking of your next appointment, or remembering you have a question for your client? You can’t engage

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in active listening when part of you is paying attention to your internal noise.

Watch body language and tone. People communicate with their words, tone, and body language. The person’s tone and physical reaction add context to the message.

Paraphrase and ask clarifying questions. It’s easy to jump to conclusions when listening to someone. It’s easy to assume what someone meant, but it can cause communication gaps with clients. Make sure you summarize the few key points.

JUNE CONTENT CALENDAR

And, if you do not understand your client’s response, ask clarifying questions. Here are some examples: • “What did you mean when you said … what did you mean?”

• “Why did you feel this way?”

• “Can your repeat what you just said?”

Active listening is a skill you can learn and perfect over time. It will help further your relationship with clients and understand their problems, which will help guide you on how to coach them. Start improving your communication skills today!

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National Yo-Yo Day. National Yo-Yo Day is celebrated every year on June 6. This unofficial holiday was created to honor the invention and popularity of the yo-yo. Coaches can use the day to promote life balance or even use the yo-yo to symbolize unhealthy habits.

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Best Friends Day. National Best Friends Day is a day to celebrate your best friend and all they mean to you. Have your group members do an activity such as sharing a picture of themselves with their best friend.

Name Your Poison Day. This Day is a reminder to ­celebrate and embrace the things that make us unique and individual. Name Your Poison Day is also a day to honor those things that we might consider our vices— the things we enjoy even though they might not be good for us. Whether it’s drinking, smoking, gambling, or eating unhealthy foods, we all have our vices that we indulge in from time to time. Wellness coaches can use this time to promote moderation (or even elimination) of these bad habits.

June is the perfect month to promote wellness, fellowship, and adventure as we approach summertime. Here are 25 holidays to run educational and promotional marketing campaigns.

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JUNE 1

DARE Day. DARE DAY is set aside to celebrate the Drug Abuse Resistance Education (DARE) program. The DARE program is a school curriculum that teaches students how to resist peer pressure and make wise decisions about drug and alcohol use. The program also teaches students about the dangers of drug and alcohol use. Coaches can use this day to share topics such as the importance of self-confidence in combating peer pressure.

Flipping a Coin Day. Flipping a Coin Day is a way of deciding when you are unsure of what to do. You flip the coin and see what side it lands on—heads or tails. If it is heads, you do one thing, and if it is tails, you do another. This day is perfect to start a month-long challenge.

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JUNE 4

National Trails Day. National Trails Day is a celebration of America’s magnificent trails system. It is held on the first Saturday of June each year and includes hikes, bike rides, horseback rides, and paddle trips. National Trails Day also features educational programs and stewardship projects, providing an opportunity for people of all ages to connect with and appreciate trails. It’s a great promotional day for wellness and relationship coaches.

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JUNE 5

World Environment Day. World Environment Day (WED) is a day set by the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) to promote global awareness and action for the environment. No matter what type of coach you are, you can contribute to environmental awareness to help turn around alarming trends for our planet.

JUNE 6

National Gardening Exercise Day. National gardening exercise day is a day to celebrate the benefits of gardening and to get outside and get moving. Gardening is a great way to get exercise, and it’s a fun way to spend time outdoors.

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JUNE 10

Ballpoint Pen Day. Ballpoint pen day is a day to celebrate the ballpoint pen and its greatness! Ballpoint pens are one of the most popular pens globally, and on this day, we celebrate everything they can do! This day will be perfect for encouraging your audience to write down their goals.

National Flip Flop Day. National Flip Flop Day is a day to celebrate the summer season and enjoy the warm weather. So, put on your flip flops and go to the beach or take a walk outside. Encourage mindfulness activities such as taking a walk or meditating.

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Red Rose Day. On Red Rose Day, people typically give red roses to their loved ones as a sign of love and appreciation.

This day is perfect for relationship-focused promotions.

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National Weed Your Garden Day. National Weed Your Garden Day is a day to celebrate nature and get your hands dirty! It’s a day to focus on your garden and eliminate any weeds. It’s also a perfect stress-relieving activity.

JUNE 13

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d­ isorders. It is also a day to promote understanding and ­acceptance of people with panic disorders. Furthermore, it’s an o­ pportunity to urge people to seek help if they think they might have a panic disorder and share stress-reducing tools.

Monkey Around Day. Monkey Around Day is a day to let loose and have some fun. It is a day to act silly and goof off.

JUNE 15

National Nature Photography Day. National Nature Photography Day is a day to celebrate nature’s beauty and encourage people to appreciate and photograph the natural world around them. This day is also a time to raise awareness about nature conservation and encourage people to protect the environment. Ask your social media audience to share their favorite nature pic.

Smile Power Day. Smile Power Day is a day to celebrate the power of smiles. It is a day to remind people of the importance of smiles and encourage them to smile and spread happiness. Share the scientific benefits with your newsletter subscribers.

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JUNE 16

Fresh Veggies Day. This day celebrates the delicious and nutritious produce available during the summer months. Fresh vegetables are a great way to get your daily dose of vitamins and minerals, and they can be enjoyed in various ways.

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International Panic Day. International Panic Day is a day to celebrate and raise awareness of panic

International Yoga Day. This observation day recognizes yoga’s holistic approach to health and well-being and its potential to promote peace and harmony.

National Selfie Day. Celebrate national selfie day by taking selfies and sharing them with clients, and encouraging them to do the same!

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JUNE 17

Eat Your Vegetables Day. This day focuses on eating your vegetables. There are many benefits to eating your vegetables, including getting the nutrients your body needs, maintaining a healthy weight, and reducing your risk of certain diseases. Wellness coaches share creative ways for clients to incorporate more vegetables into their diet.

Take a Road Trip Day. Take a road trip day is a day where you get in your car and drive somewhere you’ve never been before. Help promote the way people can explore new parts of your state or country or see new things by going on a cross-country road trip. Pack your camera, snacks, and music to make the most of your day!

Juneteenth. Juneteenth is a holiday commemorating the announcement of the abolition of slavery in Texas in 1865. It’s a perfect day to celebrate freedom and free themselves of rules that do not work for them or society.

Let It Go Day. It’s a day where you can empower people to decide their luck. Let it Go Day is a day where people are encouraged to let go of their negative thoughts and feelings and move on. It is a day to forgive yourself and others and let go of the past.

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Hug Holiday. Hug Holiday is a holiday where people celebrate by hugging each other. Share the common myths of empathy and demonstrate what it is. With the lingering concerns about COVID, show people how they can hug people “emotionally” by practicing empathy.

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National Handshake Day. National Handshake Day is a holiday that celebrates the handshake; a gesture often used to greet someone or to agree to a deal. Business and relationship coaches can throw a networking event or teach people the art of networking.

The Daley Word with Jowanna Daley Jowanna is a business and personal coach, consultant, freelance blogger, and personal brand photographer. ­Jowanna uses her 20-plus years of business, information technology, business analysis, and project management experience to serve solopreneurs, microbusinesses, and professionals through consulting, coaching, training, and workshops. She is also a freelance blogger who serves corporate and non-corporate clients. Visit her website at https://www.jowannadaley.com/about/.

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Sacred Sanctuaries: Stonehenge to Suburbia

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Creating personal sacred space is one of the most helpful projects we can undertake right now.

By Jo Mooy There’s a mystique about sacred sanctuaries. They trigger a deep place resident in the human psyche and may even be part of our genetic code. If the sanctuary exists in nature, we revere its power, visit it, hold ceremonies there, and, in some religions, worship the deities that inhabit the space. If a sacred space doesn’t already exist in nature, we create one so it can serve the spiritual or religious needs of a community.

The oldest sanctuary on earth is Uluru in Australia. The Aborigine say that in the Dreamtime, (65,000 years ago) ancestral spiritual beings created the land, the rivers, the hills and the rocks and that everything they formed in the natural world should be revered. When these beings carved Uluru along with the caves at its base, they told the people it was a living, breathing entity where the ancient spirits resided, and it would always remain their most sacred place. It remains so today, where Uluru is guarded and protected as a holy shrine by the Anangu people of Australia.

Mountains, caves, waterways, and forests, were respected by the ancient people. In those places they carved geometric spirals on huge monoliths, painted animals in underground caves, erected “altars” near their dwelling places, and aligned their largest monuments with the constellations. These monuments weren’t one-off structures. They’re found on every continent reminding us that sanctuaries and sacred places are embedded into human history and DNA. In June the northern hemisphere celebrates the arrival of summer. Ten thousand years ago

n­ eolithic people celebrated solstices and equinoxes at their sacred temples around the world. The most famous, Stonehenge, is astronomically aligned with the summer solstice. Researchers found that the creators of Stonehenge and other major ancient temples used sacred geometry, underground waterways, magnetic energy, and incantations to enliven and energize the structures.

Centuries later, recognizing the power of the designs, medieval architects built cathedrals on top of many of the sites, retaining the elemental magic of the original and keeping it sacred and intact. A visit to any ancient cathedral associated with the old sites will cause an emotional and/or mystical reaction. Hearing the ancient water hundreds of feet below the cathedral can elicit an otherworldly experience. A sensitive or empathic individual can feel or open up to the energetic portals that are inside and outside the cathedral. The air holds an electric charge, the senses pick up impressions, and there’s a subtle force that surrounds the empath.

But it’s not necessary to go to an ancient cathedral to have a sacred experience. Many individuals have created personal sacred sanctuaries in their homes or gardens where they meditate or pray. We live in a tumultuous time. Creating personal sacred space is one of the most helpful projects we can undertake right now. It doesn’t take that much effort to create a holy sanctuary but the benefits are extraordinary in calming the space you live in, and maintaining tranquility around you.

Start by determining the directions (north, east, south and west) around your home. Sense the energies associated with each direction and decide

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Stonehenge, England

in what direction you’ll place your altar or set your sacred space. The elements of fire, earth, water and air should be used in the design. If you’re fortunate enough to have a garden, some choose that location for their sacred space.

If you don’t, bring the garden inside and create the space with plants or flowers. Again, it doesn’t need to be complicated. But, you’ll want to align with the energies around the home as those energies are raised in your spiritual practices and will keep the peaceful atmosphere in place.

If you have special crystals, or statues of deities, add them to your space as they bring unique energies that will focus you and hold firm the prayers you’re invoking.

This sacred sanctuary that you’re setting becomes a “go-to” place when the chaos of the outside world seems ready to upend your equanimity. Burn incense daily. Light a candle representing your wishes and prayers and leave it burning. To connect with someone in spirit, float a flower in a dish of clear water. On seasonal holidays you’ll have a special place that’s filled with your good intentions and wishes, and one that will calm the atmosphere around you.

When visitors come into the home, they’ll notice the “feeling” inside.

Your suburban sanctuaries are not that far removed from the monuments of Stonehenge or Gobekli Tepe. Each was built with reverent intentions and designed with motifs and symbols to open wide to the unseen dimensions. Everything we touch is sacred, but when we build our own personal sacred space it connects with every temple ever built and the geometric connection of each is reinforced and revitalized.

There’s a powerful holiness that resides in our cellular structure. It ignites beliefs in spiritual endeavors and holds the containers called religion. As long as we remember and honor the inherent holiness and recognize the connection that we are all fragments of oneness, then human consciousness is enriched and will be expanded. Personal sacred sanctuaries aid in that daily remembrance.

Conscious Living with Jo Mooy

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this ­training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia ­Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

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TRANSCENDEN Transcendent Beingness

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NT BEINGNESS

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Releasing old, limiting beliefs can set you free to explore higher states of mind and greater states of abundance.

By Owen Waters We are here on Earth to expand our minds—to literally make our fields of consciousness bigger. Your brain might have a fixed size but your mind is free to rise in frequency and grow to the sky!

There are distinct stages of conscious evolution, progressive steps that have been studied and categorized by social scientists and psychologists. For example, Abraham Maslow (1908-70) was a psychologist who ­became well known for his Hierarchy of Human Needs.

When he developed his theory in the 1950s, he predicted the transformation of humanity into a realm of spiritual transcendence, but he had no idea just how soon this would develop into a major movement. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs shows that basic human needs have to be fulfilled before people can attend to higher needs and values.

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First, the basic physiological needs of food and shelter must be catered for in order to ensure survival.

Next, once food and shelter are obtained, safety and security must be achieved.

Then, acceptance by others is sought, in both the societal and personal senses. To fulfill this belonging need, people become part of a group, a tribe, an extended family, or a community.

When these deficiency-related needs are satisfied, then the individual works to acquire self-respect. Recognition by others produces self-esteem.

Once the outer needs are fulfilled, the inner-directed need for self-actualization comes into play. To self-actualize means to become the best you personally can be. Self-actualized people include those who have achieved material abundance, but also those who, as a decision of personal

power, have chosen simplicity over the pursuit of further abundance. At some point, when a person says “that’s enough” to the endless pursuit of additional financial security, then they become free to accomplish anything that most inspires their inner joy.

Self-actualization is achieved after the individual ceases to have deference to hierarchical authority, and instead matures into the ability to make their own rules of personal responsibility. Personal responsibility is always more powerful and effective than any system of imposed rules. For example, you can threaten to punish someone if they steal and hope that the threat works. But, a self-responsible person simply wouldn’t steal because they would feel empathy for the loss that a would-be victim would feel.

They simply wouldn’t have the heart to do such a thing to another person.

It’s a matter of increased maturity. When a person abandons

the pressure of impositions from external authority and becomes their own, ­self-directed authority, then they become far more functional in the world. This is, in fact, a higher state of consciousness, one which provides a higher vista of awareness.

From this expanded vista, they see clearly how they as an individual can best serve humanity.

In this state of awareness, the person acquires the ability to think and analyze situations independently. As a result, new and creative solutions spring to mind. They have enough self-esteem to be able to clearly see their own needs, skills, strengths and weaknesses, and from that they see where they can best be of service to humanity.

Self-actualization is the instinctual need of a human to make the most of their unique abilities. Once outer-focused, basic needs are fulfilled, it arises as the next value to require attention and it relates to being rather than having.

Above self-actualization, Maslow placed transcendence, which he considered a spiritual value. Traditional universities tend to avoid anything truly inspiring, so they present the Maslow Hierarchy of Human Needs differently. They present it with self-actualization as the ultimate human aim, and omit the transcendence stage beyond that.

The being-values of self-actualization and transcendence are the higher, more beautiful aspects of human consciousness. They include unconditional love, altruism, inner joy,

a love of nature, the development of intuition (in males as well as females), idealism, and a sense of wisdom which springs from within. These skills develop the right-brain functions of creativity and intuition.

According to Maslow, selfactualizing people share an appreciation for the positive human qualities like truth, artistic beauty, honesty, benevolence, wholeness, simplicity, individuality, fairness, self-sufficiency, and joy-filled playfulness.

In the 1950s, Maslow believed that only 2 percent of the population had achieved self-actualization.

The mid-1960s changed all that when masses of people began the search

for the higher values, such as unconditional love and spiritual wisdom.

Today, that core group of progressive people has blossomed from 2 percent to well over 20 percent, and is climbing every year.

When you enhance your life with regular spiritual practice, you become better able to attune with your soul consciousness. As this progresses, your sense of reasoning merges with your higher intuitive ability to become Intuitive Reason.

To foster the higher levels of consciousness is to grow your mind and therefore the ability to more easily manifest joyful abundance in all aspects of your life.

Spiritual Dynamics with Owen K. Waters Owen Water is a cofounder of the Spiritual Dynamics Academy and InfiniteBeing.com, where a where a free spiritual growth newsletter awaits you at https://www.InfiniteBeing.com. He is an international spiritual teacher who has helped hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers to understand better the nature of their spiritual potential.

Owen’s life has been focused upon gaining spiritual insights through extensive research and the development of his inner vision. He has written a spiritual metaphysics newsletter since 2004 which empowers people to discover their own new vistas of inspiration, love and creativity. Spiritual seekers enjoy his writings for their clarity and deep insights. Contact Owen via email News@InfiniteBeing.com.

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Photo Credit: Unsplash/Stephen Leonardi

How to Find a Workout Routine You Love

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Lifting weights doesn’t have to be your entire fitness solution.

By Ella Hatfield Did you know that there are many fit people who don’t enjoy lifting weights five days a week—myself included?

Becoming healthy and fit is a thrilling journey full of goals, challenges, and experimentation. Keep reading to find a workout routine you actually love—so you can stay committed to your fitness goals.

Are you struggling to stay committed to a workout routine? You’ve probably been surfing the Internet for days, weeks, even months, and you’ve seen way more workout tutorials than you can keep track of. You’ve tried several—and maybe even enjoyed a few—but you’re struggling to stay consistent.

Well, that’s because most workout instructions are solely focused on the physical aspects of fitness. The most challenging part of getting fit has nothing to do with physical strength; it’s actually developing the proper mindset that will keep you going. Plus, most exercise routines online are specifically around weight lifting and strength training, which can be important elements of getting fit, but they are not the only way to do it.

So, I’ve revamped this approach to getting started on your fitness journey. I’m setting out what you need to develop a proper fitness mindset, as well as some different workout styles for every body and personality.

Lifting weights seems to work for a lot of people; it just doesn’t for me! And that can be a good thing. Heavy lifting can be really hard on your body and end up actually hurting your health instead of developing it. I do not enjoy going to the gym five days a week, doing basically the same motion over and over again. It feels pointless and doesn’t entertain my mind. I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything each workout, and since it takes months to see results, it’s hard to feel motivated to keep coming back.

Amazingly, I’ve been able to go 17 years of being an athlete without lifting weights consistently. I’ve actually used calisthenics for most of my strength training, so no gym needed. Plus, the way I do calisthenics is in an environment that’s fun and exciting for me, so it doesn’t even feel like working out at all.

I will say that strength training is an important element of getting fit, and that might occasionally include using machines and weights. Lifting simply doesn’t have to be your entire fitness solution—it’s only one (small) piece of the pie.

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GETTING STARTED

You don’t have to commit to a hardcore workout routine to start your fitness journey because there are a lot of mild exercises you can do a few times a week in the beginning. To set yourself up for success, give yourself realistic workout goals that you know you can hit and maintain—and raise that bar of expectation over time.

One great workout to get started with is speed walking. Yes, walking! Speed walking is fantastic because it has so many health benefits, and it’s much easier on your joints than running. When walking at a brisk pace, you are burning calories; creating blood flow and circulation; working your muscles; and getting oxygen through your body! As a result, speed walking can help you lose weight, and reduce your chances of high blood pressure and diabetes. That’s right, walking. But it does have to be at an accelerated pace to get all the juicy health benefits just mentioned. I know you can do it, you know you can do it—so get to it!

Here’s a quick walking schedule to implement into your routine: Monday: 30 minutes of speed walking.

Wednesday: 45 minutes of speed walking.

Friday: 30 minutes of speed walking.

As you get in shape and create more time for your health, you can increase these times over the course of a few weeks. Your goal is to walk at least 1 hour every day you work out, and, eventually, add a fourth and fifth day of speed walking into your week. You can check out some more of the badass health benefits here: https://www.healthline. com/health/exercise-fitness/power-walking#benefits.

Sports are actually really fun if you find people at your experience level.

When was the last time you tried a new sport with other adults who were also newbies? I get it, many people didn’t enjoy sports in school, and most absolutely despised PE class. You need to recognize that was a very different sports environment for several reasons: • Everyone was insecure, and as a result many people were looking for individuals to put down.

• Sports clubs are incredibly competitive at this level because kids have already been competing in the sport for years and are potentially looking for scholarships.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Razvan Chisu

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Maybe you were forced to “try new things” by your parents and somehow ended up at track practice, which was not your forte.

So, let me ask again: When was the last time you tried a new sport? Yeah, probably not since middle school, right?! There are tons of places that have adult beginner sports programs where you’ll meet other likeminded folks who are looking to get in shape and not be criticized in the process. Having a group setting with other friendly individuals will be monumental in having a positive workout experience and in keeping you motivated to come back.

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For the quiet, independent folks just starting their fitness journeys, we have hiking and backpacking.

Hiking is a great way to step up your speed walking game! Navigating through hills, rocks, and higher elevations has great benefits for your muscles and

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joints, as well as your respiratory system. Plus, you’ll likely want to hike for even longer than your speed walk because the natural environment is so alluring and immersive.

Golf. Have you ever tried Top Golf? It’s actually fun!

Golf is a great sport for beginners because it gets you outside and moving your muscles, while doing something entertaining so it doesn’t feel like working out! Plus, it can be a great time both in a group setting or on your own.

Swimming at your local pool, recreation center or gym can be a great way to have some alone time.

Swimming is one of the best workouts for your entire body, and it’s amazing for your joints.

For people who appreciate the social support of a team dynamic there is yoga. It is another top-tier workout because it is easy on your body, but can build your strength, flexibility and balance. Yoga also keeps your joints happy and healthy over time.

You can always just google yoga tutorials for beginners and do them at home, but finding a yoga class with an instructor and other people you like is really exciting because it will keep you coming back.

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Soccer! Okay, maybe I’m a little biased here (I’ve played soccer for 17 years.) but the truth is, soccer is a great sport for beginners because you don’t really need any prior training to play. Literally, anyone can run around with people and kick a ball. And, in the right environment, this can be a lot of fun— even if you’ve never played before. There are many people at my indoor soccer place who started playing in their 30s, 40s or 50s and, after only a year or two of playing, they’re now among the best players on the team. You might already know the amazing health benefits of a HIIT (high intensity interval training) workout like soccer, but I’m still going to tell you about them: ◦ You burn a lot of calories in a very short amount of time. ◦ Your metabolism continues to speed up for hours after you finish working out. ◦ HIIT workouts increase your body’s oxygen consumption and can reduce your resting heart rate and blood pressure. Check out more detailed descriptions of the benefits here: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/ benefits-of-hiit#benefits.

For outgoing people who want to try something exhilarating and new: rock climbing. There are many indoor rock climbing gyms, or beginner classes for outdoor rock climbing. Here’s some classes offered by REI all over the country: https://www.rei.com/events/55/introduction-tooutdoor-rock-climbing-class Kayaking and paddle boarding are surprisingly easy for beginners and a fantastic upper body and core workout. Nonetheless, rivers can be extremely

dangerous, even in really low waters. If you will be kayaking or paddle boarding in a river, you need to do your first sessions with a professional river guide or instructor.

• Axe throwing is a fun way to spend the evening with friends while also doing something productive for your body. It will work out your upper body and core muscles, and can be a physical outlet for stress relief.

This is just a small list of possible workout techniques. If you try some of these and they don’t work for you analyze, “Why didn’t I like this?” Was it because it was new and challenging and you’re not very good at it yet? Or was it because you don’t like some of the core dynamics of the activity, such as whether it was a team or independent setting, a HIIT vs. a moderate intensity workout? Really dig deep into this. There are a million excuses you can come up with for why a workout isn’t right for you.

The most important thing is to give a new workout technique your best shot. You need to try something out for at least a month before moving on to something else. Why? Because when the month is over you’ll be a lot better at it, you’ll start having some health gains, and you’ll probably have a few new friends, all of which will inspire you to keep going.

It is phenomenal that you are investigating new workout methods and investing time into your health. For that, I commend you—seriously! You’ve taken the time and energy to learn about improving your health and fitness, something a lot of people don’t do during their entire lives.

Now it’s time to put preparation into action. Your health and happiness are in your hands. No one can make you take action but you. Now get out there, try something new, and give it your best shot!

Ella Hatfield has been an athlete for over 17 years and was lucky enough to be raised by a mother with incredible health awareness. These experiences, as well as her own determination and research, have led Ella to developing the knowledge, discipline, and methodology required to continue living a fit and healthy lifestyle for life, and the determination to share that methodology with the world so others can take control of their health, their happiness, and their long-term success. Contact Ella by email at TheArticulateAthlete@gmail.com.

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