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Cards available from Charlies Bar at Strand



+ Ashe Hotel hold their first Wedding Showcase this weekend
+ Kerins O Rahillys launch their US Masters challenge
+ Greyhound track gets ready for the Marty Party this Sat night as Restaurant relaunches
+ Local Business Bathrooms4U gets ready for Dublin Ideal Homes Exhibition
+ Siamsa Tire hosts "The Beautiful Game" this weekend
+ Tralee Community Garden in Town Park gets a makeover this weekend
+ A taste for Africa Food fair to take place in the Tankard
+ Huge Welcome for Gold Cup Winner Bryan Cooper in Blennerville
+ Killers lead Brandon Lee extend invitation to Killorglin Mr Brightside performer Brian O Sullivan
+ Kerry based Team Ireland Dance come home to great reception after their World Championship success
+ Bank of Ireland host Saturday Mortgage meetings this Saturday 10-2pm
+ Ardfert School host over 600 at their Strictly Come Dancing
+ Darkness into Light launches this week
+ Oaklands store hosted Coffee morning for Cancer Link Cork Kerry bus fundraising
+ Austin Stack Park Stadium gets ready to host Kerry Cork u21 Final on April 7
+ Gaudinos Restaurant opens its doors on Castle Street
+ Great feedback from Dotts New Bar at Fels Point (soon to be The Rose Hotel)























Tom has worked for a construction company for twenty years. Suddenly they have decided to let him go. He finds out a few weeks later that they have taken on a younger worker instead of him. What can he do?
Since the unfair dismissals act came in in 1977 it has given workers much stronger protection in their jobs once they are working in a workplace over a year. Unless there are valid grounds for the dismissal e.g. fair selection for redundancy, qualifications being insufficient, incapacity, incompetence or some other substantial reason and correct procedures are followed the employer is at risk of being sued for unfair dismissal. Once the fact of the dismissal has been proved either by constructive dismissal where the employee is forced to leave or where they are told to go and get a P 45 then they can take an unfair dismissal case to the Workplace Relations Commission. In all work related cases the time limits are very strict and in general unless they are extenuating circumstances the time limit is 6 months to bring the claim. The employee can request a reason from the dismissal from the employer also which should be given in writing.
Once a claim is entered with the workplace relations commission they notify the employer who has a chance to put in their side of the story and then the case awaits a hearing date, which can take some period of time. Employees and employers may avail of mediation, which involves sitting down with a third party and trying to agree matters. If matters cannot be agreed the case will go for full hearing and the employee if they are successful may obtain remedies like reinstatement – being put back in the same job with back pay, or re-engagement which means being taken on in the same or similar job with or without back pay or compensation of up to two years wages. Compensation is the most usual remedy.
It must be remembered that the workplace relations commission www.workplacerelations.ie is a huge repository of employer and employee information and employees can take many other claims to this commission e.g. health and safety matters, not being treated fairly on return from maternity, adoptive, carer’s or other leave, equality cases, not receiving proper pay or other entitlements etc. If one has a claim it is well worthwhile seeking legal advice to ensure that all avenues of redress are sought.
Law Quip: If a train station is where the train stops and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
If you have a legal query or need further information on any item addressed in this column please send in your query to mirs@gofree.indigo.ie
Several hundred people turned out for the welcoming ceremonies in Tralee this week for the return of Team Ireland to Kerry. The Mayor of Kerry Pat Mc Carthy was on hand to welcome the 25 member squad who flew in from Barcelona with of one the largest hauls of World Championship Cups ever seen in Ireland.
Leaving from the Ballygarry House Hotel the squad made their way by open topped bus with an entourage of cars through the town to a public and press reception in Fels Point Hotel.

Team Ireland’s World International wins in Barcelona this weekend are significant for Ireland and for Kerry. Team Ireland, under the Directorship of Clarissa Michaux, competed in Spain over the Easter Weekend and has again increased Ireland’s profile and prominence on the International World Performance Stage. Ireland is privileged to have Ms. Michaux, a highly qualified Professional Ballerina, Dance Teacher and Chorographer offering her training, teaching and mentoring expertise in this country. This weekend her commitment to the International World of Performance and Dance has come full circle. Team Ireland returns with a Gold World Cup Win in Jazz, a Silver for Character, a Silver for Classical, Bronze for Overall Choreography and the Special Overall Catalonia Award for the Most Outstanding of the International Teams. With 28 Countries competing this is one of the largest team competitions in the World in performance. Included in the line up were some of the World’s strongest competing Nations from the USA, UK, Russia, South Africa, Pacific Islands, France, Germany, Belgium, Sweden, Israel, Cyprus, Albania, Italy, Spain and across the globe.

The Academy of Dance, of which Ms. Michaux is also a founding Director, is based in Kerry offering professional training to students who previously had to travel abroad and rarely returned. The Academy of Dance has gained International recognition as a training centre with 100% pass rates in International dance exams with an exceptionally high rate of merits and distinctions. Ms. Michaux recognises the wealth of talent in Ireland for World Class Performance and has proven that this talent can and does stand up against the best and wins without compromising. The winning of the Overall Catalonia Award for the Most Outstanding of the International Teams is particularly gratifying and great for Ireland. It sends and reinforces another positive image of Irish people and their World class skills abroad. Ms. Michaux coming from the Dingle Peninsular and coming back to The Atlantic Way draws World attention back to Kerry and the West.
photo; Gretta O’Rourke




SIAMSA TIRE, HOME TO THE NATIONAL FOLK THEATRE
FRI 1ST & SAT 2ND APRIL AT 8PM MATINEE PERFORMANCE SUN 3RD APRIL AT 2.30PM THE BEAUTIFUL GAME
Tralee Musical Society
Composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber, this fantastic musical is based on a story about young people on the verge of adulthood, wanting to love, play football and lead normal lives in a divided city. A beautiful story delivered by a fantastic cast.
Directed by Oliver Hurley
TICKETS: €19/17 GROUP OF 10+ €16
WED 6TH AT 8PM THE GREAT HUNGER
Directed by Terry O’Dea
First published in 1942, this epic poem is one of the classics of Irish literature –many feel it is Kavanagh’s best work and a masterpiece.
Tickets: €12/10
THURS 7TH AT 8PM
LEFT BEHIND: THE WIDOWS OF 1916
Written by composer and curator Simon O’Connor, and commissioned and presented by vocalist
Michelle O’Rourke, Left Behind is a new collection of songs to mark the centenary of the 1916 Easter Rising.
TICKETS: €18/15



FRI 1ST – FRI 29TH APRIL ON DOUBT
Artist Denis Buckley’s new work for Siamsa explores doubt in the life of any idealog.
ADMISSION FREE

Here we are going to try and narrow down your options if you are looking to change your image or are just looking for something different.
This haircut works particularly well if you have an abundance of hair on top and don’t mind spending a few extra minutes in the morning styling it. It consists of a fade beginning high on the sides and back, usually faded down to the skin, with the top worn up and back quite dramatically.
This haircut consists of longer sides and a very long top. It’s not a sleek look and doesn’t require any maintenance. The sides can go from a long razor cut to a short scissor cut. This rugged look is great for men with thinner hair as it will give the appearance of thicker hair.
This cut is a high fade, which looks best when brought down to at least a .5. We leave the top long and messy looking so you can have tight sleek sides and you can style the top depending on your occasion.
This is a big haircut of 2016 so far. It involves a high fade going down to the skin. This fade goes straight up the side of the head and dramatically disconnects from the top. On the other side you can have the top slightly blended. However you can also leave that side disconnected and wear the top blow dried back. You add plenty of texture to the top by using the holding powder and ruffling it with your hands.








The Sshe hotel on maine street tralee celebrate their first birthday and now take the opportunity to launch a new exceptional wedding venue in the hearth of tralee town.
The ashe hotel is a beautiful venue to celebrate your wedding reception with your family and friends. Come meet the team in the elegant ashe ballroom. Our experienced wedding coordinators will guide you through the numerous inclusive wedding packages which offer bridal couples superb menu choice and tremendous value.
The Ashe Hotel is delighted to welcome an amazing array of local & celebrated wedding service providers on the day, making the ashe hotel wedding showcase a one stop shop to organise your wedding this saturday afternoon between 2/5pm. No registration or appointments required and entry is complimentary. We look forward to meeting you this saturday april 2nd.
Weddings at the ashe hotel – with that personal touch
Best wishes to the Spa Club (Cill Airne) Figure Dancers and to the Brothers Pearse Club (Churchill) Quiz Team in their All-Irelands in the INEC on Saturday next (2nd).
Peadar Ó Cearnaigh’s ‘Amhrán na bhFiann’ will be sung by Aoife Ní ChoileáinUí Dhonnchú (Club Aibhistín de Staic) who has been Scór champion singer of Kerry on four occasions.

Question: What do I need to know about the Mobility Grant thats available?

Rinceoirí an Spá: Sinéad Ní Chróinín, Pádraigín Ní Mhurchú, Clár Ní Mhuimhneacháin, Céití Ní Chonchúir, Fiona Ní Cheallaigh, Ciara Ní Shé, Mairéad Ní Mhongáin, Áine Máire Ní Niallagáin, Máire Masún. The Brothers Pearse Club (Cnoc na hEaglaise) Quiz Team: Alex Ó Dónaill, Seán Ó Flaithearta’, Pól Ó Cullota, Mícheál Mag Fhionnbhair (Gaynor). Go n-éirí go geal leo uilig.
Bathrooms4U says: A housing adaptation grant of 95% is available where changes need to be made to a home to make it suitable for a person with a physical, sensory or intellectual disability or mental health difficulty to live in. This is available from your local authority. The Grant can help you to make changes and adaptations to your home for example, making it wheelchair-accessible, extending it to create more space, as well as adding a mobility bathroom. Bathrooms 4U offer various options for mobility bathrooms and has extensive experience in carrying out all types of disability modifications and adaptations. Starting with a home visit to survey your requirements, we will provide you with expert advice, a suitable design solution, and a no-obligation quotation. We’ll also guide you through grant application paperwork. B4U will installation squad will strip out and properly dispose of your old bathroom before fitting your new custom replacement. Working to the highest standard we will complete all the plumbing, fitting, wiring, tiling and painting in just five days and guarantee that you will be delighted with the results.























: All

: Bryan Cooper with his GoldCup arrives home to Blennerville on Thursday night and is

ABOVE: Bryan Cooper, Blennerville, winner of the Cheltenham Gold Cup on Don Cossack in steeplechasing’s blue ribbon race, arrives to a great welcome on Thursday night from Family and Blennerville residents and friends. Pictured with Garda Grace O’Connell, who guided Bryan from the centre of the road from Traffic.

ABOVE: On pony and trap after crossing Blennerville bridge, Bryan Cooper, Blennerville, winner of the Cheltenham Gold Cup on Don Cossack in steeplechasing’s blue ribbon race, arrives to a great welcome on Thursday night. Pictured from left his girl friend Melonie Young, his sister Sarah Cooper, and his parents Tom Cooper horse trainer,


ABOVE: Pictured at the reception for Bryan Cooper on Thursday night at Blennerville, Clodagh, Catherine, and Tom Quane, Blennerville, and John Tarrant.


ABOVE: Bryan Cooper, Blennerville, winner of the Cheltenham Gold Cup on Don Cossack in steeplechasing’s blue ribbon race, arrives in Blennerville to a great welcome on Thursday night. Pictured with Brandan Farmer, Lohercannon, winner of the Kerry Motor Cup 2015 Championship and overall winner, with his wife Margaret and daughter Una Farmer.


Chairman Jay Galvin, Tara Galvin, Causeway, and Trish Kelly, Ardfert.

ABOVE: Stand ye now for Eireann’s glory, Dan Galvin, reading the 1916 Proclamation at Denny Street on Easter weekend ? No he addresses the walkers and supporters taking part in the charity walk in aid of the Kerry Hospice Foundation.


Mass










Contact Numbers:
01 618 3363 Jackie Jnr :: 064 66 85782 Martina/Jackie Jnr:

Starting on Thursday the 31st of March and every Thursday subsequently I will have clinics in the following locations in Tralee & North Kerry;
• 12pm Behan's Bar & Restaurant, William Street, Listowel
• 2:30pm Gally's Bar & Restaurant, Tralee


My father has had a stroke and is critically ill. The doctors say that he has very little time left. Am I entitled to leave from work to be with him?
If you have a family crisis, the Parental Leave Acts 1998 and 2006 give an employee a limited right to leave from work. This is known as force majeure leave. You can take force majeure leave where, for urgent family reasons, your immediate presence is necessary because a close family member is ill or has been injured.
The definition of a close family member includes a child or adopted child, a spouse or partner and a parent or grandparent.
The maximum amount of leave is three days in any 12-month period or five days in a 36-month period. You are entitled to be paid while you are on force majeure leave. Your employer may grant you further leave.
However force majeure leave does not give any entitlement to leave following the death of a close family member. If your father dies following his illness, you don’t have a statutory right to leave after his death.
You may be entitled to compassionate leave under your contract of employment or custom and practice in your workplace. Alternatively, you may be given some bereavement leave at your employer’s discretion.
Further information about force majeure leave is available from the Workplace Relations Commission’s Information and Customer Service
Lo-call: 1890 80 80 90 or from the Citizens Information Centre below.



























The Kerry Rape & Sexual Abuse Centre are delighted to announce the Launch of the Support Room in the Tralee Court House on 5th April. This facility will provide a comfortable safe space for our clients and witnesses attending court
We would like to thank the following businesses for their generosity as this project would not have been possible without their support.
Tommy O’ Mahoney (caretaker of the court), Carraig Donn, Ballygary House Hotel, Pat Mc Donnells paints, Fitzgibbon Brothers, White Lotus Designs, Greg the man with the van, The Quality Framing Company Nicoles haven, Ballybeggan Fabrics, Lots, Mozarts, Ballyseedy garden centre, Dunnes Stores, Vincent De Paul, The Court Services
If you need any other information
please contact our Freephone 1800633333

Following a very successful National Launch of this season’s Public Participation sessions in the Tralee Community Garden Project in Tralee Town Park we are again collaborating with another one of our strategic partners KWD on Saturday the 2nd of April for the Kerry County Clean Up. Tralee Community Garden which encompasses Tralee Community Orchard will facilitate volunteers who wish to join in the county clean up from 10.30am – 12.30pm meeting at the garden. All equipment is provided but please do wear appropriate footwear and remember to wrap up well for the time of the year. Children must be accompanied by a guardian.
Photo: Gretta O’Rourke
A bumper summer is lined up in Tralee welcoming students from Europe, the Middle East, China and Brazil who will learn English every morning, do activities in the afternoon and on Saturdays & then stay with host families. Interested? Yes the money comes in handy, but there are other benefits too...
The chance to help a Student experience life in another country and experience Irish culture as well as being an excellent chance for you and your children to learn about their country and culture. Good friendships are often formed. While it is hard to let go at the end, it is also such a great feeling to have made this connection. Maybe they will want to come back for college, or to come back in a couple years to see you again. Maybe you will plan a trip to their country to see them. Also did you see the reception/admin position advertised on Jobbridge from May-November working with a vibrant team in an international setting at Celtic School of English! Email your CV & cover letter to Alison or Anne or drop in for more details - 3 Greenview Terrace, Tralee (opposite the Motor Tax office), info@ greenviewlanguages.com / 066 7180088 / 087 2275677 (Anne)



Anam Cara is holding its monthly Parent Evening on Tuesday 12th of April from 19:30 to 21:00 in Recovery Haven 5 Haigs Terrace, Killerisk, Tralee, Co. Kerry. Anam Cara Services are available free of charge to all bereaved parents.
Anam Cara is an organisation that supports bereaved parents, Anam Cara support groups are situated throughout Ireland and provide parents a safe, comfortable environment where they have the opportunity to connect with other bereaved parents. Anam Cara is an inclusive organisation where parents do not identify themselves by their children’s age, how they died, or if their death was recent or many years ago. What Anam Cara provides is a safe place for bereaved parents to connect with others who understand the intensity of the grief and loss. Although Anam Cara does not offer counselling, each group has a lending library and information on the other services available to parents and families in the local community. For further information please see our website at www.anamcara.ie email us at info@anamcara.ie or call 01 4045378.

















The Minister for Health Leo Varadkar officially launched the Irish Kidney Association’s Organ Donor Awareness Week 2016 (2-9 April) at the Mansion House, Dublin 2 this week where he met members of the organ donation and transplant community including medical staff, patient advocate groups and patients. The Irish Kidney Association, while applauding the transplant programmes for Kidney, Heart, Lung and Liver, claimed there is an urgent need for a second kidney transplanting hospital to meet the spiralling demand for kidney transplants and combat massive future strain on the exchequer. Predicting that the 2000 number of people on dialysis now will be 3000 in ten years’ time there will be an estimated additional cost of €50 million per year.
Organ Donor Awareness Week 2016 (2-9 April) is organised by the Irish Kidney Association. The campaign will feature RTÉ News Anchor and Courts correspondent Vivienne Traynor in radio advertising as well as on posters encouraging the public to support organ donation. Vivienne witnessed first-hand the whole process of organ donation and transplantation from a deceased donor for her nephew Martin in November 2014. She explained that this was a very different experience from five years previously when she was a living kidney donor to him. She said “I was touched that a family in the midst of all their grief took the time to consider someone else. The kindness of strangers meant so much to us.”The focus of Organ Donor Awareness Week is to raise awareness about the ongoing and ever increasing demand for organ transplantation which relies on the public for organ donation. Its key message is that families need to talk and keep the reminders of their willingness to donate visible by carrying the organ donor card, downloading the Smartphone App and permitting Code 115 to be included on their driver’s license.
The Irish Kidney Association’s charitable activities include the provision of a 13 double bedroom free accommodation facility for patients and their families in the grounds of Beaumont Hospital and holiday centres located in Tramore and Kerry, together with patient advocacy, advice, financial aid and rehabilitative, health promotion through sport and the provision of kidney patient information and education. The IKA has introduced another fundraising technique. You can text “kidney” to 50300 and €2 will be donated from your mobile phone account to the IKA.

Free information fact files, which accompany organ donor cards, are obtainable from the Irish Kidney Association and are available nationwide from pharmacies, GP surgeries and Citizen Information Offices etc.
Organ Donor Cards can also be obtained by phoning the Irish Kidney Association LoCall 1890 543639 or Freetext the word DONOR to 50050. Visit website www.ika.ie It is now possible to store an organ donor card, the ‘ecard’ on Smart mobile phones. Simply search for ‘Donor ECard’ at the IPhone Store or Android Market Place.




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HELLO MY STRONG STRONG FRIENDS, I HOPE YOU’RE ALL HAVING A GREAT WEEK. THIS WEEK I’M GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY FAVOURITE EXERCISES TO DO AT THE GYM.

1. Uphill Incline walking: Great cardio to get the heart rate going while also being amazing for your legs and bum. I put the treadmill to the highest incline and walk as fast as I can for anywhere from 10 to 30 mins. I usually just watch YouTube videos to make the time go fast whilst walking.
2. Cross Trainer: Another great cardio exercise, I put the effort level between 10 - 14 and do anywhere from 10 to 30 mins. Again, I watch YouTube videos whilst doing this so I don’t feel the time.
3. Deadlifts: Did you know whilst being great for your bum, deadlifts are also fantastic for your stomach! I do 3 sets of 10 reps with 30kg on the bar at the moment.
4. Squats: I do two types. Barbell squats on the squat rack or else squats with a dumbbell in my hand. Again squats are not just for your bum, they’re a good full body exercise. Just make sure your form is on point before adding too much weight.
5. Lunges: Can you see a pattern here? I’m all about the lower body at the moment. I do weighted walking lunges.
6. Cable kick backs: An exercise that I only recently started encorporating into my workouts but I love it. It’s a great glute isolation movement.

















Hello my beautiful friends, I hope you’re all having a great week! This week we’ll be talking about a new obsession of mine, LASHES. I’ve have recently became obsessed with false lashes. I think they complete any makeup look and especially great in pictures. Whenever I’m doing makeup for pictures for my blog or instagram, I find that adding lashes really makes the eyes pop. Having a false lash obsession ain’t cheap though. I have a few favourites that are all different price points. Also when it comes to lashes, depending on the quality and how well you mind them, you can get a few wears out of them. I always make sure to take off my lashes, put them in a safe place and clean them after each use with some eye makeup remover. So here are a few of my favourite falsies!

The Eylure 120’s are my ultimate go to lashes. If I ever am stuck I always have a pair of these on hand. They usually cost me about 6 or 7 euro and I get about 5 wears out of them. I usually get them in Boots and there’s also usually a 3 for 2 offer on them!


I always use duo glue with whatever lashes I use so when I saw that Duo had their own lashes I absolutely had to try them. I got them in CH Chemist last week for 13 euro and wore them all easter weekend. I love them and I got so many compliments on them. They are a bit more on the pricier side but I’ve worn them 4 times already and they’re still perfect.
The Kiss DIva 02’s are a fantastic budget lash. You can get them in Pennys for 2 or 3 euro which is a bargain. I have friends who absolutely swear by these lashes! I personally only seldom wear them and have never tried to reuse them but I’m sure if you mind them they’re reusable.


So that’s it for this week everyone, if you have any questions or want to know more you can email me at bexblahbeauty@gmail.com, follow my Facebook page ‘Bexblah Blog’, Instagram @Bexblah, Snapchat @ Bexblah


WE CARE: Established independent family business with experienced Hearing Aid Audiologists
WE DELIVER: Local people choose us rst for hearing tests, ear check and important hearing advice
WE PROMISE: To listen and look after you – providing only the very best hearing technology and lifetime aftercare
OR OURS?
Wild leek is in season and there is plenty to be found with a short walk done the local forest near you.
Easy to spot and looks a lot like wild garlic ,the white flower is very similar but it has a light onion-garlic smell from it with much thinner leaves. Called wild leek or three cornered leek it is used like leek or can be eaten raw in salads, pesto’s, and flavoured butters. you can now get all the recipes at my new blog www.traleeculinarygangsters.wordpress.com and on twitter @chefnoelk

• 2 lb wild leek bulbs,
• 2 Tbsp unsalted butter
• 1 cup dry sherry
• 2 cups dark brown sugar
• 2 cups cider vinegar
• 2 tsp mustard powder
• 2 Tbsp yellow mustard seed
• 2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp freshly ground pepper
METHOD
Slice the wild leek bulbs crosswise into 1/4 inch long pieces.
Melt the butter in a large heavy skillet over medium heat. Add the sliced ramp bulbs and cook, stirring occasionally, until they soften and become a light golden brown. This should take about 15 minutes.
Add the sherry and continue to cook until the sherry is reduced by half. Add the rest of the ingredients and raise the heat to medium-high. When the mixture comes to a low boil, reduce the heat slightly and continue to simmer, stirring occasionally, for about 40 minutes. Reduce the heat further, if necessary, to make sure that the bottom does not burn.
When the mixture has become thick and bubbly, remove from the heat and allow to cool. Place the wild leek marmalade in a container with a tightly fitting lid and refrigerate for up to a month.
Serve with roasted meats and poultry, on sandwiches and with cheeseanywhere you want to add the sweet/sour tangy flavor of wild leeks!

This dish is easy to prepare, and even easier to consume. The flavors of the wild leeks and cheese blend wonderfully to create a memorable dish you’ll want to serve often.
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• ½ cup fresh breadcrumbs
• ½ cup grated Gruyere cheese
• ¾ pound wild leeks, trimmed.
• Salt and freshly ground white pepper
• ½ cup heavy cream
METHOD
Melt the butter in an ovenproof pan. Add the breadcrumbs, tossing and toasting over high heat, stirring occasionally to prevent the butter from burning. Toast about two minutes, or until the toast is a light golden color. Transfer to a plate. When cooled, toss with the Gruyere. Turn on your grill. Melt the remaining butter in the pan until it just begins to brown. Add the wild leeks, facing them all in the same direction. Cook the wild leeks over high heat, turning occasionally, until they are limp and a light golden color. Season with salt and pepper, add the cream, and bring to a simmer. This should take only about one minute. Remove the wild leeks from the heat. Sprinkle the breadcrumb mixture over the top of the wild leeks in the pan. Set the pan under the hot grill for only about 30 seconds, or until they are bubbling and brown. Serve immediately.
Let me know if you enjoyed them and we will continue our healthy eating next week and remember to send your questions to: askchefnoel@hotmail.com









As his neighbors are driving away, they offer him a seat in their minivan. He says, “No thank you. I believe in God, and God will protect me from this storm.”
The flood waters start to rise and the man is standing on his balcony. A family in a fishing boat come by and offer a space on their boat. The man says, “No thank you. I believe in God, and God will protect me from this storm.”
The storm starts getting even worse. His house is nearly completely engulfed in water, and the man is clinging to his chimney with rain blowing in his face. A National Guard helicopter comes by and lowes a ladder for him. He says, “No thank you. I believe in God, and God will protect me from this storm.”
The man drowns shortly thereafter and goes do heaven. Once in heaven, fuming, he marches up to Saint Peter and says “I’ve been a loyal Christian all my life. I put my faith in God to save in that storm and he let me drown. How could he do something like that?”
Peter looks at the man and says, “I really don’t know what you expected. God sent you a van, a boat, and a helicopter.
This rooster wakes up early Easter Sunday morning. He sticks his head out of the chicken coop, and sees all these multicolored eggs all over the barnyard. He takes a look at the eggs, takes a look at the hens, takes another look at the eggs, takes one more look at the hens, he thinks about it for a minute, then he walks across the barnyard and kicks the C**P out of the peacock.
when one of the men says to the other man of the group, “Hey Stan, tell us about the college course you recently took!” Stan looks up from his dinner and says, “Oh, it was great! It was a memory class to help me to
remember things better.”
“Did it work?” the other guy asks.
“Sure did! I’m remembering stuff more efficiently now. It was a big improvement.”
“What was the name of the school?”
Stan looks off into the distance, furrows his brows and asks, “What is the name of the flower... usually comes in a dozen...has thorns...?”
“Rose?” the other man asks.
Stan looks to his wife, “Hey Rose, what was the name of that school I went to?”
A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three Sons- inlaw for their good nature.
For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corrola parked outside his house with note : from your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota corrola parked outside his house with note : from your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note : from your Father In Law!

Afterwards the host takes his guest down to the local pub. They leave the pub completely smashed and Roy and Jonathan decide to break into a distillery.
Roy is the first to open a cask, tastes it, and asks Jonathan, “Is this whiskey?”

Jonathan replies, “Not as wisky as wobbing a bank!”
If they fell forward they’d still be in the boat.














Debuting the company’s new global architecture, this Impreza, revealed at the New York motor show, isn’t actually the model that will come to Europe next year but, according to Yasuyuki Yoshinaga, president and CEO of Subaru parent, Fuji Heavy Industries, “it’s pretty identical”. This is the Subaru you don’t require jail tattoos and a dog called The Punisher to drive; that’s the WRX. What’s more this Impreza is now a car you might actually want to drive, with a new chassis, which is about 70 per cent stiffer than the outgoing car’s and a new suspension design, which resists rolls about half as much more than the old. Boxer engines, which celebrate their 50th anniversary with the company, are of course included, certainly in two litre and possibly in 1.6-litre forms, although no one seems absolutely sure about the smaller unit; or whether the new five-door hatch will get a five-speed manual transmission (as it does in the States), or a six-speed. While the Americans will get their Impreza models from the company’s Indiana plant, which is getting a $500 million upgrade to double production to 400,000 a year, we’ll get ours from Japan as before.
Aston Martin and Formula One team Red Bull Racing have announced a partnership to collaborate on production of an Aston Martin hypercar. Codenamed Project AM-RB 001, the new hypercar will blend F1 technology with Aston Martin’s sports car design. The car will be the engineered by Red Bull Racing’s Chief Technical Officer, Adrian Newey and designed by Aston Martin’s Chief Creative Officer, Marek Reichman. The car will feature the latest in aerodynamics and be made from the most innovative composite materials. A limited edition of around 99 units will be manufactured by Aston’s Q division, which specializes in building bespoke and limited-run cars such as the recently produced the Vulcan track car. The price thought to be in the region of £2-3m. The AM-RB 001 will have a mid-engined layout, a first for an Aston Martin and will also will feature a Kers-style drive system. A special race series will also be established for the cars.
The parking space in Central London is the most expensive currently for sale in the UK A parking space in London has been put on the market for £350,000, making it more than one and a half times more expensive than theaverage UK house price. The space, which is located just behind Hyde Park Gardens, is the most expensive currently for sale in the UK by a huge margin - in second place is a spot in Edinburgh’s New Town conservation area for a “mere” £85,000. This isn’t the first time a space in London has commanded such a high price; in 2015 a spot in South Kensington was listed for £480,000, although that was in a secure underground car park and had space for three cars. Prior to that, a two-car underground bay in Kensington sold for £400,000. The space in Hyde Park Gardens measure 19.5ft by 8ft and is being advertised by Knight Frank, which says it is “a rare opportunity to purchase a private parking space for one car, located behind the prestigious Hyde Park Gardens and ideally located for the transport links of the M1.” The advertisement goes on to say that it is held on a private lease with approximately 88 years remaining.
(Daily Telegraph )
Front Porsche
Q: The battery on my son’s 2005 Porsche Boxster S has gone flat. Is it best to recharge it with the battery connected, or via the fusebox? Also, when the engine is warm it makes a tapping noise. Is that normal? DB

A: To charge a battery from flat you must disconnect it from the car. The death rattle is a worry, because 986-series Boxsters had an intermediate shaft ailment that should have been fixed by 2005. If your son’s car is a 987, it might be a bore scoring problem. HJ









Hello, My name is Frank Moynihan and I want to tell you about an event I am organising on Tuesday, 5th Apzil at the Tankard Restaurant, Kilfenora, Tralee. I have invited ll] food providers, largely from Fenit and surrounding district to present a dish of their choice on the night where the public are invited to come and taste. If you come with an appetite, I promise you won’t leave hungry. There is no cover charge but their will be a donation bucket. Please understand this is not a sit-down meal, you simply get a plate and visit all the tables of the exhibitors. The event commences at 7.00 pm and ends at 9.00 pm. All monies collected will be divided between three charities (1) Mai-ya Dinners Malawi 40% (2) Operation Smile “n-its based charity for children bom with cleft lip” 40% (3) Students from Glenstal Abbey School going to Kenya to build a wall and toilets at a school 20%. Can I ask you please, to pay us a visit on the night and tell two friends about the event. On behalf of the three charities involved, thank you so very much.
Further information from Frank Moynihan 086-2627855
As if their food wasn’t tasty enough , House are launching a brand new menu this month , combining all the favourites from the Abbey Inn and House plus a few new exciting dishes . They served breakfast all day long and their ranges of coffees include flavoured syrups . Their full menu is available from 12 Noon each day and the homemade cakes & desserts that follow are to die for ! All their cakes are available for anybody to order , spot on for a party !Big or small ! They have their own pastry chef who is available to meet you to chat about your Special Cake order .So pop in for a delicious coffee or a bite to eat and treat yourself ! Available on facebook at Coffee Eating Public House
Pat Casey from Cromane receiving the prize of a four course dinner for 2 from Declan Dowling when he won the Tralee Advertiser competition .Kingdom Greyhound Stadium are celebrating the relaunch of their Grandstand Restaurant this Saturday night with a night of Fun, Music ,Good food and Great Racing . The night is being hosted by RTE’s Marty Morissey .



March, The committee would like to thank all of those that gave Sponsorship, Advertising,Raffle Prizes, Dog nominations and Donations.







The Kerry Group International Ras Mumhan was one of the best in the race’s long history. It was also one of the toughest as the international field had to endure some very tough conditions especially on Day 2 in Kenmare / West Cork. Indeed the last 15km from the County Bounds to the finish in Kenmare was so wet and cold that a large number of the riders needed heat blankets and treatment afterwards.
But is anyone doubted the resolve of these men the vast majority were on the start line again the following day in Waterville. They must have been wondering who upset the weather gods as it was again wet and cold on the start line. However early in the stage the sun came out and overall it was a very good day weather wise, not to mention the cycling.
At the end of the 500km of racing from Good Friday to Easter Sunday the yellow jersey went to the very impressive Chris McGlinchey of the Irish Development squad. This 22 year old was racing for his first time in Kerry and had four days to remember. He took the jersey on the first day into Killorglin and held it till the end. And it wasn’t all plain sailing as he had and his team had to chase down a number of significant breaks especially on Stage’s 2 and 3. 17’s Year’s on and Sean’s still the man: From a Kerry point of view the question was could Sean Lacey be the first Kerry rider home to complete the hat trick of Paul O’Shea Memorial Cup wins. He did so in great style and took 8th place overall and all this comes 17 years since he first did this in 1999. He next won the Cup in 2004 and now the hat trick of 2014.2015 and 2016. He is now level with another Tralee cycling hero Paul Griffin on 5 wins.
Speaking to him afterwards he was still smiling with his win. “Yes it was great. I felt very strong and despite the tough weather conditions. With so many top class riders in Kerry now it was always going to be hard”. Cathal Moynihan (Tralee Manor West iBike) had a very good final day taking 5th for 30th overall. His team mate Barry Horgan was 46th with the placing not really reflecting his four good days and with George Doyle also doing well Team Manor West iBike were the top Kerry team.
Team Moda Kingdom Endurance were led home by Mike Storan while John Brosnan was in the leading group of 5 for much of the final stage only being dropped by the top 3 with just over a lap to go. He ended in 69th overall just behind Eddie Barry.
RAS MUMHAN 2016 ROLL OF HONOUR:
Winner / Yellow Jersey / Donal McKenna Cup: Chris McGlinchey – Ireland Development Squad.
King of the Hills / Polka Dot Jersey : Ali McCauley – ASEA Wheelworx Points / Green Jersey: Mark Dowling – ASEA Wheelworx
U23’s title / White Jersey / John Doyle Cup: Chris McGlinchey
A2 winner: Sean Yelverton – MEGO Raw Cycles Racing
First Kerry Rider / Paul O’Shea Cup: Sean Lacey
CIRCUIT OF KERRY BRINGS TO NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL CREWS TO TRALEE:
This weekend will see the 42nd running of the Rose Hotel Circuit of Kerry Stages Rally organised by Kerry Motor Club. With a 140 entries received the largest entry in a long time this rally is shaping up to be another Circuit of Kerry thriller.
With no less than 11 WRC’s, 3 R5 and an S 2000 in the top 15 we not only have a fabulous top 10 but we have a brilliant top 20. With Kerry’s Alan Ring last year’s winner seeded at no.1 in the newest generation of rally car- the Ford Fiesta R5, most of the main protagonists in Irish Rallying are here including Boyle, McGarrity navigated by Killarney’s Diarmuid Falvey, McKinstry, Henry, McCormack, White, Hurson, Maguire, O Riordan, Barrett, Wood and O’ Brien.
There is a true international feel to this year’s event with two Germans, a Swede, an Australian and many UK drivers listed among the entries. Being Round 2 of both the Triton National and Top Part West Coast Rally Championships has ensured the multi-national entry. The Opel Adam R2 Junior Rally Team, the current European Junior Rally Champions from Germany have entered 3 cars, similar to their sister outfit the Vauxhall Adam R2 Junior Rally Team from the UK headed by Rob Duggan/Ger Conway from Killarney, the 2015 Billy Coleman Award winner, who is seeded at 31. There are also a number of entries from the UK, all using today’s rally as a high-speed shakedown for the next round of the European Rally Championship The Circuit of Ireland Rally. So good is the entry that the current Group N National Triton Rally Champion Aidan Wray and 3 times and current Top Part Group N champion Shane Maguire both in Evo’s are seeded at 27 and 28 respectively. Top local seed and first two wheel drive is Lyreacrompane’s Mike Quinn in his 2.5 Millington Powered Mk2 Escort who is seeded at 17. Competition among the local competitors will be just as intense as all will be trying to win the much coveted James O’ Rourke Memorial Cup which is presented to the highest placed crew.
The seven stage event begins on Saturday Morning with competitor’s recceing the stages in their road cars. Mechanical Scrutiny of the rally cars takes place from 2pm to 7pm in The Kingdom Crash Repair Centre in The Monavalley Industrial Estate. The cars will be held in Parc Feirme next to the Rose Hotel in Fel’s Point over night. The rally proper begins on Sunday Morning at 9.40 am when the first car will leave Parc Feirme, detour over the start ramp in front of the Rose Hotel and head on their way to the stages in the Knocknagoshel, BallyMcElligott and Brosna areas. After each
loop of three stages the cars will return to the service area at The Rose Hotel to be checked over. The winning car is expected to return to the Rose Hotel at 5.10 pm. Prize giving followed by entertainment will take place at 8 pm in the Rose Hotel. All of the information can be found in the Rally Programme which will be on sale from Thursday.
KINGDOM STADIUM TO PARTY WITH MARTY:

This is a big weekend at the Kingdom Greyhound Stadium with the second rounds of the John and Mark Killeacle Dowling Memorial plus the final of the Mastergeeha soccer club A8 525 Buster race, which is the centre piece of their fundraising night. Saturday night should be packed with Marty Morrissey the star attraction at the relaunch of the Restaurant. Representative from the local tourism, hospitality and attractions will be invited as the stadium show off its amenities. The racing highlight will be the final of the John Mitchells GAA Buster Race while the semi-finals of the Broadway Pet Foods A5 525 and the first round of the Tobar na Malt unraced stake for coursing dogs. There will be music till late after racing.
All dog owners for the Lee Strand A3 confined A3 550 yards are reminded that unrecorded trials can be booked in the racing office on 061 448057 with the Stake beginning on April 15th.
The Tralee Bay Swimming club winter season came to an end last Sunday after a very successful season with an average of 25 swimmers taking to the water each weekend and over 40 swam on one weekend. There are now 10 swimmers left in the running for the esteemed Winter Swimmer of the Year title which will be presented at the Awards Night in September. The club also celebrated Easter last Sunday

with two lovely hampers won by Noel Ryan and John Fox with plenty of Easter Eggs also eaten.
KERRY CAMOGIE NEWS:
There was no luck for Kerry in the All Ireland Minor C Championship as they went down to Westmeath. The Minors are away to Carlow in their next game.
The seniors had a much better time as they enjoyed a big win over Cavan in the Irish Daily Star National League, holding their opponents scoreless for the game. They have qualified for the League Division 3 semi-final where the will play Roscommon as a neutral venue which is still to be confirmed.
Referees Course: Pat Sheehy will be holding a Camogie Referees Course on Wednesday night in the Causeway club rooms from 8pm. This will enable you to referee matches as u10’s, 12’s and u14’s.
Match of their Lives: Congratulations to Kerry Senior Player Olivia Dineen from Causeway and Patrick Healy from Tarbert who were married recently in Causeway Church. Everyone wishes them a long and happy life together.
PARNELL’S NEWS:
Training moves outdoor for the under 6’s, 8’s and u10’s this Friday night at the IT North Campus Astro Turf from 7 to 8pm for boys and girls except for u10’s which is boys only. Don’t forget the e2 for the pitch hire! Club registration will also take place on the same night. All other teams train in Caherslee from 7pm.
Easter Camp: Well done to all involved in the Easter Camp where over 50 kids took part including a number of newcomers which was great to see. The feedback from the clubs first Easter Camp has been very positive and credit must go to the coaches and organisers.
Exhibition game: With all hurling eyes on Austin Stacks Park this Saturday for the Kerry v Laois game which throws in a 5pm the clubs young hurlers will be playing an exhibition game at half time. This is a huge game for the hurlers and Parnells are calling on all GAA fans to come and support the county team.
Tokens: The club is calling on all parents to start collecting Lee Strand Protien +Milk from where 15 sports promotion tokens will get 5 sliotars for the club – worth e60. Parade: Check out the clubs social media sites for some great photos of members marching in the St Patricks Day Parade. Camogie on the March: The Camogie Associations Ard Stiurthoir’s Report made very pleasant reading for those with a love of the sport. There was a huge increase at the 2015 All Ireland final. This led to increased coverage in the media and no doubt helped with the 5% year on year increase in membership.
ST PAT’S NEWS:
There was no winner of the Lotto from the numbers drawn 13.18.20 and 27 and the next jackpot will be e5,400. Numbers will be drawn in Skelper Keanes this Sunday night. Underage: The u6’s to u10’s had the weekend of from training. However the u8’s and u10’s played their first Go Games at a Blitz hosted by John Mitchel’s and they really enjoyed the experience. The u12’s

put up a good performance against a more physical Castlegregory side in a game played in blustery conditions. St Pat’s were ahead at the break but could not sustain this against the wind. They play Listry in Round 1 of the County League this weekend.
U16’s training continues this Friday from 5.30 to 6.30pm on the astro turf while outdoor training for the Girls resumes on Sunday with all girls under the age of 12 welcome.
Seniors: They play Currow this Sunday in the Second Round of the Lee Strand County League.
Feile: Plans are well underway for Feile 2016 with the identity of the club St Pat’s are hosting being known next week.
Pat’s Player’s help St Brendan’s progress: The club is delighted for Paul McMahon (Capt), Kieran Hurley, Brendan Poff, Willie Hurley and selector Adrian Greaney who were part of the St Brendan’s team the progressed in the Senior Football Championship, defeating Shannon Rangers last weekend.
1916 Club Project: There are details of the 1916 Rising Club project on the Stacks website austinstacks.ie
Underage Football: The u6’s to u10’s train this Sunday and the 6’s, 8’s and 10’s will travel to the Legion on Saturday April 9th. The u12’s and u14’s train as normal this week with the u14 A and B teams playing their opening games of the County League. The u15’s and u16’s are also in action this week.
The club wishes its representatives in Scor na bPaisti all the best in the County semifinal which is on a 2pm on Sunday in the Tintean Theatre in Ballybunion.
KERINS O’RAHILLYS
The seniors enjoyed a good win over Legion in the Credit Union Senior County League Division 1 Round 2 0-16 to 3-01. The game was played in bitterly cold and wet conditions and the Tralee side dominated the first quarter. Rahilly’s were 4 points to no score ahead before the Legion got their first goal. By half time it was 9 points to 2 goals for the Killarney team and five minutes into the second half it was level on the unusual score-line of 9 points to 3 goals! Tommy Walsh and John Ferguson wrapped up the win and the County League 2 points. The club wishes Shane Brosnan and Ross O’Callaghan speedy recovers from injuries received in the game.
Juvenile News: All the underage training goes ahead at the usual times. The u12 girls put up a good performance in their game away to Finuge and are back training. The u14’s girls have new management and have begun preparations for their season.
Ken Savage, Kim Green and Ann Marie O’Connor are in charge of the Junior Ladies who are back in full time training. They are due to play Abbeydorney this Sunday.
Annual Mass: The Annual Mass for deceased members of the club, their families and all members of the club will be held on Friday the 1st of April at 7.30pm in the Healy Room.
Lotto: There was 1 winner of the jackpot and congratulations go to Kay Stack on winning with the numbers 3,14,19 and 26. The next jackpot will start at e2000 this weekend.
KERRY FAVOURITES TO WIN NATIONAL LEAGUE:
Best of luck to the Kerry team who face Cork this weekend in their final and vital League game. A win will guarantee the Kingdom a place in the League semi-final. Interestingly they are priced at 5/2 to win the competition outright for a record 20th time. Dublin are still odds on favourites at 8/15 ahead of Kerry.
HIGH HOPES FOR THE HURLERS:
The Kerry hurlers are hoping that a big crowd turns out for their make or break clash with Laois this Saturday evening at 5pm. As we all know Kerry finished 4 points ahead of Laois in the League but the structure decrees that the bottom two clubs got into a relegation play-off.
U16 GIRLS AIM TO CONTINUE PAST SUCCESSES:
The Kerry u16 Girls take on big rivals Cork this Saturday as they begin their defence of their Munster and All Ireland championships. Manager Graham Shine can call on some of last year’s panel and hopefully they can continue the great success of the last few years.
PARK U13’S DO KERRY PROUD IN MANCHESTER:
The Park u13 team are still basking in the glory of bringing home the Plate from the Manchester Easter International Cup. They travelled across the water and showed that they had the skills to compete with the best in the competition.
They drew against the Academy side from Derbyshire and followed it up with a win over the Elite Academy from Cheshire. The only goal came from Cianan Cooney. Leon Daly, Jack Twamley and another from Coonan saw them defeat PFA Manchester. They did go down in their final game but results qualified them for the Plate play-offs and they beat Brompton Rovers in the semifinals thanks to an Earnan Ferris goal. They then ended things on a high winning the Plate final 2-0 beating Barton Wanderers from Norwich. Ferris scored again with Leon Gallagher getting the other to wrap up a great week for these young Park stars of the future.
The Park 15’s are the last Kerry side left in this seasons National Cups and are away to St Kevin’s Boys in the quarter final this Saturday. This is a tough game for the Tralee side but they are in great form, top of the Premier in Kerry and had a big win away to Nenagh in the last round.
While the FAI does not do everything right one of the many things it does do well is to honour members of the soccer family that pass away. They do this by inviting members of the family to an International game as guests, put a write up in the programme and pay tribute on the big screen to those who gave so much to the game.
Last Friday night Joe Flynn was remembered at the Aviva during the Switzerland game. A fitting tribute from the Beautiful Game to a wonderful man.
Saint Expedite, Noble Roman youth, martyr l You who quickly brings things to pass You who never delays, I come to you I need (Clearly express what you want and ask him to find a way to get it to you) Do this for me, Saint Expedite, and when it is accomplished, l will as rapidly reply with an offering to you (State your vow or promise) Be quick. Saint Expedite! Grant my wish before your candle burns out and I will glorify your name Amen. Thank you St. Expedite for answering my request. I promise publication to spread your devotion. For anyone in need say this prayer and your request will be granted. My request was granted M.O.T
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours, this time I ask you this special one (mention favour). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your Heart where your Father sees it, then in his merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen. Say this prayer three times for three days and your favour will be granted. Never known to fail. Must promise publication of prayer. P.F.
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours, this time I ask you this special one (mention favour). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your Heart where your Father sees it, then in his merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen. Say this prayer three times for three days and your favour will be granted. Never known to fail. Must promise publication of prayer. P.F.
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours, this time I ask you this special one (mention favour). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your Heart where your Father sees it, then in his merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen. Say this prayer three times for three days and your favour will be granted. Never known to fail. Must promise publication of prayer. J.M.
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours, this time I ask you this special one (mention favour). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your Heart where your Father sees it, then in his merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen. Say this prayer three times for three days and your favour will be granted. Never known to fail. Must promise publication of prayer. J.M.
Divine Child Jesus, we believe in You; We adore You; and we love You; have mercy on us, sinners. We’ve come to this Temple in response to your love. We’ve come in response to your mercy and grace. We are here because You invited us to come before You and to pour out the cares of our hearts to You since You deeply care for each of us. We remember Your words to the disciples: Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened. Trusting in your infinite goodness and trusting that You always keep your promise, we now ask this intention which we pray in the silence of our hearts...<silently mention the request>... Thank you, Divine Child Jesus, for listening attentively to our prayers all the time. We hope that You will ask this before Our Heavenly Father. And, if what we ask for may not be good for our salvation and sanctification, we trust that you will grant us instead what we truly need, so that one day we may be with You for all eternity enjoying that ultimate happiness of Heaven.
Divine Child Jesus, bless and protect us. Divine Child Jesus, bless and lead us. Divine Child Jesus, bless and provide for us.
All this we ask through the intercession of your Holy Mother, Mary, and in Your powerful and Most Holy Name, Jesus. Amen D.B.
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours, this time I ask you this special one (mention favour). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your Heart where your Father sees it, then in his merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen. Say this prayer three times for three days and your favour will be granted. Never known to fail. Must promise publication of prayer. C.S.
Dear Heart of Jesus in the past I have asked for many favours, this time I ask you this special one (mention favour). Take it dear Heart of Jesus and place it within your Heart where your Father sees it, then in his merciful eyes it will become your favour not mine. Amen. Say this prayer three times for three days and your favour will be granted. Never known to fail. Must promise publication of prayer. R.N.

















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