
















Check out our Party offers on Facebook or go to our cool website... Camp, Co. Kerry | T: 086-1585337 | www.sandyfeetfarm.ie
















![]()

















Check out our Party offers on Facebook or go to our cool website... Camp, Co. Kerry | T: 086-1585337 | www.sandyfeetfarm.ie
















A VERY special event to recognise and reward Kerry’s brave little heroes who are dealing with cancer is being organised in Tralee on Sunday, September 29.Organised by cancer support charity, Recovery Haven Kerry, a special ‘Little Heroes’ Fun day will take place at Mitchell’s Tralee from 3-6pm and will coincide with Children’s Cancer Awareness Month in September.The brainchild of Recovery Haven manager, Siobhan MacSweeney, the fun event is a way of helping our most vulnerable cancer sufferers and their families forget about their illness for a few hours and enjoy a host of special treats laid on for them.Recovery Haven already offers a range of counselling and group therapy sessions to children dealing with cancer, including the highly acclaimed CLIMB programme, which offers support to children dealing with a cancer diagnosis of
a significant person in their life (from siblings to parents to grandparents). However, Siobhan said that the charity wanted to do something extra special to mark Children’s Cancer Awareness Month, while making a big fuss of our own little fighters and their families.“We wanted to show our appreciation for these amazing, brave youngsters right across the county who are enduring some very difficult battles, and what better way to do that than to organise a fun day in their honour,” Siobhan explained.
“Our Little Heroes day is all about celebrating these wonderful children and their families, while highlighting the growing range of services available for children affected by cancer at Recovery Haven.
We want to show them that we are all here for them.” Siobhan explained that the event is not restricted to Recovery Haven clients, but

is open to any child going through cancer or dealing with a cancer diagnosis in their immediate families.Among the fun activities planned for the afternoon will be bouncy castles, vintage fire engine rides, a visit from the garda car, magical fairy fun, a disco with DJ Donal and lots of goodies to give away. Entry is free and Siobhan is
encouraging as many families as possible to come along and celebrate these amazing, brave little fighters.
Meanwhile, anyone else willing to offer their services to make this day extra special is asked to contact Recovery Haven on 0667192122.
3 Kerry Businesses Honoured At National Awards Ceremony
• Dromquinna Manor, Kenmare – Awarded Hideaway of the Year 2020
• Ballygarry House Hotel, Tralee – Highly commended Business Hotel Of The Year 2020
• Teach de Broc, Ballybunion – Highly commended Guesthouse Of The Year 2020
Representing the four corners of Ireland, the winners of the 2020 Georgina Campbell Irish
Food & Hospitality Awards, in association with AIB, are announced.
Celebrating 21 years in their current incarnation, the Georgina Campbell Awards recognise and honour Ireland’s standard-bearers in food and hospitality in Ireland with particular emphasis, this year, on the industry pioneers who put down quality markers a generation or more ago.
THE SELECTION PROCESS
Georgina Campbell’s Ireland’s

rigorous programme of anonymous assessment visits is a year-round process and winners are nominated solely by an independent assessment team.
• Winner: DUBLIN The Shelbourne
• Highly Commended: KERRY Ballygarry House Hotel & Spa and SLIGO Radisson Blu Hotel & Spa




















Photos by John Cleary


ABOVE: Fr. Sean Jones, St. John's Church, and Fr. John O'Donoghue, Tralee, and on the Foreign Missions celebrated the community Mass for the residents of Croi-Lar-Ne Mhistelach (


for the
Orpheus Choir from Swansea, at Our Lady and St Brendan's Church on Friday night, in aid Down Syndrome









• We use a 72 hour process with our Dough... result Awesome tasting base!
• We had our Wood fired Oven sent over from Naples... the home of Pizza!
• 450 degree heat means your Pizza is cooked in about 60 seconds!
• All our Pizza ingredients come from our garden here or are sourced locally!

Hands down the best pizza I've had in Ireland. Cosy surroundings and great choons. Can't wait to be back next summer...
Caroline, Limerick


Top class pizza, even in the lashing rain still a very enjoyable outdoor lunch, highly recommended...

Alex, London

We ate in the pizza place out the back, behind the main restaurant, can not recommend it highly enough. Amazing pizzas...
Claire, Belfast





Just finished a deadly pizza, cool tunes!!!
Kids delighted Great food...
Matty , Tipperary



“Everyone needs a coach.” These are the words Bill Gates chose to open his TED Talk. Interestingly the point he highlights—and the one characteristic common to all high performing individuals, from executives to athletes—is the fact that they all have a coach. Do any of the below statements resonate with you?
1. Your life, business, career, relationship, etc., is already good, but you want it to be better. Coaching isn't a crisis intervention. If things are basically good, but you know they could be a lot better.
2. You want YOU to be much, much better. Many people hire a coach because they are built for more and want to reach their full potential sooner, rather than later.
3. You're going through a big transition. Change can be difficult, even when it's what you want. A coach is someone who believes in you and who can help you make the most crucial choices.
4. You're a high achiever. Tend to be driven and
successful, but can feel a bit isolated. Everybody has blind spots. A coach sees you as you are, without judgment, and helps you be your best.
5. You want more meaning in your life. "Meaning" is what makes your heart sing. It comes from doing what matters most to you. If life feels a little shallow, or you don't know why you do what you do anymore, a coach can help re-ignite the passion in your life.
6. You want to take better care of yourself. A coach will help you set clear boundaries, set goals/ milestones and encourage you to achieve your targets.
7. You want to make more money. People hire coaches when they want to upgrade their careers or launch a new business.
Where do I go to get coached ?
The European Mentor & Coaching Council (EMCC) and International Coaching Federation are 2 International Governing Bodies for coaches and will have a list of accredited members.
When does it start to take effect?
After 2 sessions you will know if coaching is working for you. The First session is a get to know each other session. By the end of the 2nd session you’ll know if the coach is right for you, have helped you set goals and identify ways in which you can change.
It is vital that you pick a coach that you have chemistry with, can work with & can trust.
About the Author. Keith Darcy has a Diploma in Personal Development &
With the new academic year well underway, primary, secondary and third-level students will have the opportunity to participate in the comprehensive programme of activities organised by Gael Linn- debates and public speaking, school variety and talent shows, tradition Irish music and song - most of which are funded by Foras na Gaeilge .
For second level students, October will see the start of the renowned Gael Linn debating competitions, Comórtas Uí Chadhain for Irish medium schools and Comórtas an Phiarsaigh for all other schools (closing date for entry 1 October), with first round heats taking place the length and breadth of the country. Scléip, the popular contemporary talent competition for All-Irish second level schools, provides a platform for aspiring rock and pop bands, singers, dancer
and actors. Siansa Gael Linn is now regarded as the most prestigious competition in the country for teenage traditional musicians and singers, with the final taking place every April in the National Concert Hall. Also included in the programme of activities is Coirm, a series of one-day festivals held in seven centres throughout the country, at which primary schools stage variety shows.
Gael Linn have several publications available specifically for Leaving and Junior Certificate examination classes – Dréimire and Staighre – along with Splanc for transition year students. Communications Courses for Transitition year students are available in Dublin, and there are several Gaeltacht courses on offer also in Counties Donegal for next summer. For third level students, Gael Linn host intervarsity debates and ‘maidens’ competitions,

Executive Leadership and is registered with the EMCC. He is also a Management accountant (ACMA) and Qualified Financial Advisor with the Institute of Bankers Ireland.
If you would like a phone call for initial discussion I can be contacted on 087 755 55 45 or via my website www.keithdarcy.com

along with Bréagchúirt Uí Dhálaigh, an Irish language Moot Court competition, during the academic year.
And Gael Linn also distribute An Fáinne, worn as a symbol of being able, and willing, to speak Irish – there are three to
be chosen from, according to language ability. Information on all of Gael Linn’s forthcoming activities and classes is available from 01.6751200/ eolas@gael-linn. ie or www.gael-linn.ie.




Catherine Sugrue who retired from teaching for Scoil Eoin Balloonagh after more then 30 years and to mark her retirement the Principal and teachers of Scoil Eoin family and friends held a get together to mark the occasion at Ballygarry House Hotel & Spa,Tralee on Friday evening .Pictured are her family ..
Emma Poff, Catherine,Joe and Joseph Sugrue and Brendan Poff. Photo Joe Hanley

Sometimes when we walk around our lovely town, we fail to stop and take notice a little .
Have you seen the appearance of the lovely lanes around Tralee lately ?...its the small touches that count ... Just look at Barrack lane ,,,the sides of the 2 big stores now have striking images and the wrought iron overheads stand out ...and thats only one lane ...yet it has 9 businesses in that short strip( all providing jobs ) ...Go on take a walk down our lanes , and take notice ...thats what I did ! (Chris Shortt )

It's back!!!! Following the amazing success of the 2018 #Movember challenge, Recovery Haven in Tralee are once again calling on the men of Kerry to sign up this year and help them make their 2019 event even bigger and better!
"So we're asking individuals, groups, clubs, pubs or businesses across the Kingdom to sign up now and help us break last year's record!! Anyone interested in getting involved can register now and get their sponsorship card from Recovery Haven at 0667192122 or email marisa@ recoveryhavenkerry.com." says Marissa from Recovery Haven "Our mass shave-off will take place at the Rose Hotel on November 27th... (but groups are free to host their own events if preferred) So please show your support by getting involved now...and remember SHARING IS CARING so please spread the word"
All welcome to begin the school year by joining the Tralee Branch of Comhaltas Ceoltóirí Éireann to learn Irish Traditional Music with trad player Susie de Rís. Lessons for beginners will start at 6.30pm and will be followed by the more advanced players. Our lessons will be held on FRIDAY nights, beginning this Friday (20th September). Adult players welcome also. These sessions will be held in Gaelcholáiste Chiarraí (opposite the Library), Moyderwell, Tralee. Fáilte roimh chách. For further information, please call (066) 7125205. Gabhaimid mórbhuíochas le Bainistíocht an Ghaelcholáiste as ucht fáilte a chur romhainn.


Choose the number of birthstones and the months that represent your family. Let us know the finger size. Then choose her favourite gold: 9ct yellow gold, 9ct rose gold or 10ct white gold. We will then have the ring handmade in Ireland for you.
Imagine her delight on Christmas morning when she unwraps this most thoughtful and personal gift.
We are taking orders now for Christmas collection...


Kerry County Council Arts Office has been busy coordinating Culture Night events again this year along with arts groups and other organisations who are happy to get involved and offer a free night of cultural events to their communities.
The annual Culture Night takes place (tonight)on Friday, 20 September and there are dozens of events taking place across each of five Municipal Districts in Kerry: Some of these activities are ... Browne’s Bar in Castleisland will host a Culture Night evening from 9pm with local musicians . Scartaglin sees the launch of Handed Down Series 6 from 8-10pm at the Heritage Centre and there will be further celebration of all things Sliabh Luachra at Tureencahill Community Centre from 8.30-10.30pm. Events at An Díseart kick off Culture Night in Dingle, including a print workshop with artist Deirdre McKenna from 4-5pm and poetry and film with Maria Ní Murchú and George Jackson. New murals will be on display from 5.30pm at Púcaí Lane while Nelliefreds will host Niall McCabe and band and a Culture Night festival club curated by Tríona Duignan from 9.30pm. Dingle Library will shine a spotlight on their special collections from 6-8pm including rare items of local interest and there will be a talk by artist Clare O’Halloran on Harry Clarke’s stained glass windows, at An Díseart from 7-8pm while Mol Teic,
Páirc Ghnó Cúilín will host Narratives from a current state: Asylum Seekers presenting their narrative via live feed projections. In Killorglin there will be a tour of the Pauline Bewick Collection with Kate Landers from 6-7pm and the Killorglin and District Pipe Band will give a recital at Library Place from 7-7.30pm with an opportunity to interact and handle the musical instruments. From 8-9.30pm there will be an evening of screenings hosted by KFest, suitable for 16 years onwards, at The Woolshed, Langford Place.
Caherciveen will host a creative youth café from 5-9pm for ages 12-19 and Cill Rialaig in Ballinskelligs will host storyteller Sean Ó Laoghaire and others for a night of storytelling from 5-11pm.
Culture Night in Listowel kicks off at 5pm at the Creative Youth Café in KDYS, Upper Church Street, Listowel for 12-19 year olds, followed by St John’s at 6pm with a horror film workshop and screening as well as music, drama and dance. The Kerry Writers Museum will host an evening of poetry, story, song and music from 7-8.30pm and then Billy Keane will take the reins at Keane’s Bar from 9-11pm with theatre, song and music. From 5-7pm there will be a celebration of Listowel’s literary history at the John B. Keane statue. John McAuliffe has curated a set of poems by local poets which will be given to members of the


public on postcards. Collect the whole set on your way to your next Culture Night event. Tralee...A full programme of events is scheduled for Kerry County Museum including free admission to all exhibitions as well as a presentation by Ger Riordan on Ringforts and Fairy Lore from 6–7pm.
Thursday Night Writers will host an event at Tralee Library from 6-8pm, which includes the launch of their anthology ‘Thursday Night Tales, Volume One’. Literature with Lámh runs from 5-7pm at the Kerry Down Syndrome Shop on High Street with readings by author Anthony Garvey, the Kerry Rose and the Creative Writing Group all interpreted with Lámh sign language. The hugely popular Ceilí Afro Dabke will take place at the Presentation Primary School Hall from 7.30-9pm . There will be an open house at Kerry School of Music from 5-10pm and Bryan Carr School of Performing Arts will present an evening of Musical Delights from 7– 8pm in the Drawing Room in Ballyseedy House Hotel.Siamsa Tíre’s Visual Arts Residence with artist Zoe Uí Fhaoláin will be looking creatively at how the Kerry coastline might change in the years ahead and how we might adapt, from 6-8pm.
The highly praised film The Camino Voyage will screen at St John’s Church, Ashe Street, from 8-10pm, presented by The Kerry Camino.Drama offerings include a series of dramatic and comic pieces in
site specific outdoor venues in Tralee from 6pm - 8pm in Tralee Town Park and Square, a series of humorous sketches entitled A Cultural Look from St Patrick to Michael D from 8-10pm at the Imperial Hotel and Nightmare at 8 from 8 – 9.30 at the Ballymac Bar – humorous and horror-filled monologues for the run up to Halloween.
Visual art is on offer for children with Me and The Moon from 5-7.30pm at Collis Sandes House with a printing workshop – 30 minute workshops giving children the chance to make art together. There will be a talk on the artworks of significant Irish artists given by John Griffin at St John’s Catholic Church at 5pm. You can throw your own pot with the Tralee Pottery Club at Siamsa Tíre from 5-7pm and Art in the Park will be at the railings of Tralee Town Park from 4–8pm. The Secret Garden, an origami installation, will be in place at Syphon Coffee Bar, Courthouse Lane from 6-11pm.
The Creative Youth Café will be open from 5-9pm at the KDYS in Denny Street and cultural offerings are also on the menu at the Kerry ETB building on Denny Street.
All events and any later additions to the programme can be found on www.culturenight.ie/kerry or phone 066 7183541


















by Joe Hanley

of CBS The Green showing their support for the Kerry Team on Friday with their teachers at their school



Got comfortable seats to watch the replay of the All Ireland Final between Kerry V Dublin on Saturday,in The Castle Bar Tralee PJ and Christine Foley,Sheila McDonnell,Aisling Carroll and Pascal Power



Dressed in the Green & Gold as they watch the replay of the All Ireland Final on the big screen in The Square Tralee on saturday, Diarmuid Murphy,Shannon Daley,Danielle Pierse and Paddy Joe Maxwell.

Mark,Gerard and Darren O'Sullivan (Castle Bar) looking after the customers in the Castle Bar Rock Street,Tralee as they watch the replay of the All Ireland Final on Saturday












Julie Walsh,Evelyn Murphy and Margaret Finnerty AIB Tralee who supported the Kerry Hospice Foundation Coffee morning in AIB Tralee on Thursday

Supporting the Coffee morning at Recovery Haven Tralee on Thursday for Kerry Hospice Foundation.Una Murphy,Sheila Kevins,Beatrice McDonald,Patricia McSwiney and Bridie O'Grady Photo Joe Hanley

staff who supported the Kerry Hospice Foundation Coffee on Thursday morning in AIB Tralee, Siobhan Barrett,Pat McTique,Aine McGrath, David Brooks and Anne Tierney Photo Joe Hanley

Supporting the Kerry Hospice Foundation Coffee morning Thursday, Angela Horan,Majella Milward (Ashe Hotel), Donna and Kian Monson and Mike Mazurek Photo Joe Hanley
St Brendans Park Residents at The Tralee Tidy Towns awards during the week . The Residents took 1st prize in the Large Estate category.

"Congratulations to Louise Burgin, our latest Club Lotto jackpot winner at Kerins O Rahillys! This week's Club Lotto results are now available on the home page of our website: www.kerinsorahillys.com "

Danny Leane, with his son Danny and granddaughters before the big match (yes, thats Ribena in the glass!)












“BallyDavids best kept secret... Only 15min from Dingle!”
“Location stunning, food incredible”
“Our only complaint? That we had to leave!”
“Great pub, great grub, craic is mighty”
“Food so fresh, fish jump on your plate!”




“Thoroughly relaxing”
“Its impossible NOT to unwind” “So chilled out after visiting”


The season for hedge cutting is now open until the end of February 2020. Baile na nGall - Ballydavid 087-2460507 | www.dingleactivities.com




Kerry County Council reminds all landowners and occupiers of land to ensure that the trees, ditches, hedges and other vegetation growing on their land are not, or could not become, a danger to people using or working on a public road. The obligation is on the landowner or occupier to ensure their hedges or trees do not pose a danger to road-users and liability for damage or injury resulting from such hazards rest with the landowner or occupier.




Kerry County Council seeks the cooperation of landowners in this to ensure that such hedges and trees are safely felled, cut, trimmed or removed. LIABILITY FOR DAMAGE OR INJURY RESULTING FROM SUCH HAZARDS WILL REST WITH THE LANDOWNWER/ OCCUPIER.
With your cooperation, Kerry County Council can ensure that safety for all road users is maintained.






Bay...Photo by Graham Davies


Look who we met at the


The Morriston Orpheus Choir from Wales who gave a powerful performance this week in the beautiful setting of St. Brendan's Church Tralee in aid of Down Syndrome and other charities.Credit to Tralee Rotary Club and Grace O Donnell for organising the event .

Sandra and Trina from Kerry County Museum with the Rose of Tralee Sinead Flanagan at the National Ploughing Championships this week promoting Kerry's Capital to the people of Ireland .









I hope you’re all having an amazing week, especially with this weather we’re having!
This week I wanted to talk about beauty products that I’ve recently been loving that aren’t makeup. So here we go…
Hairburst Healthy Hair
Vitamins - I took these the last time I wanted to grow my hair and they worked a dream (pity I’ve bleached and chopped it since that). So I recently started taking them again. I got them in Holland & Barrett - you have to take them for at least 8 weeks to start seeing results.

Mark Hill Invisible taming polishIf you know me, one of my current go to hairstyles is a slick middle parting low bun. This stuff keeps all the baby hairs away without my hair looking too wet or shiny. I got it in Boots for €10.


Ole Henrikesen Banana Bright Primer: I know I said no makeup things today but technically this is actually a skin product. I sometimes wear it even when I’m not wearing makeup and it just makes my skin look and feel unreal. So hydrated and glowy. I ordered it on Boots.ie & got free next day delivery into store.

Soap & Glory Smoothie Star Body ButtercreamThis product smells absolutely amazing, and it also leaves my skin feeling so so soft. You can get it in Boots.









This week I finally have got back into a regular groove, I’ve been ensuring I do 15,000+ steps per day, going to the gym doing heavy weights & tracking my calories.
Today I trained legs and now have the most INSANE DOMS (Delayed onset muscle soreness). As in my legs are killlllllling me.
But I’m delighted to be back in a routine. And I’m just loving the vibe at The Arena Tralee - everyone is always happy and helpful. Plus the music is always on point.
I think it’s very important that whatever exercise that you’re doing, that you enjoy it!
Food wise I have been making better choices, and tracking my calories. I’ve been absolutely living for pancakesdon’t ask why. So I thought I’d share my fool proof recipie for both training and non training days.
Just because you are working out and watching what you eat doesn't mean you can't have yummy pancakes!


Here are two separate recipes that I like to use, one is higher carb for training days, and the other is higher in fat and protein for non training days, both are delicious! Although I do prefer the training day ones better cause they're fluffier.
TRAINING DAY PANCAKES: serves one.
• 40g oats
• 1 egg
• 50g egg whites
• Vanilla extract
• Almond milk - 1 or 2 tbsp as needed.
Blend the oats into a powder consistency in a nutri bullet or something similar. Add all the other ingredients and mix well. Cook as normal using extra virgin olive oil.
NON TRAINING DAY PANCAKES:
• 100g egg whites
• 1 large egg
• 20g protein powder
• 2 tsp chia seeds
Blend all of the ingredients in a blender. Cook as normal in extra virgin olive oil - or any oil you prefer.
Of course you can eat the training day pancakes on a non training day too! It all depends on your macros, if you track them.
Enjoy & never feel guilty about food!
MY FAVOURITE TOPPINGS:
Bacon medallions/turkey rashers & myprotein syrup.25grams of Nutella and strawberries.

















Apples are in season now and you can get some really beautiful ones in your local fruit and veg shops, farmers market or Manna organic shop here in Tralee . They are so versatile in how you can use them and cook them. Here is a french classic tart for you to try.
AND CALVADOS TART (GALETTE DE POMMES AU CALVADOS)
PUFF PASTRY
• 1 3/4 pound apples
• 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
• 1/3 cup plus 1/2 tablespoon granulated sugar
CALVADOS APPLE SAUCE
• 3 tablespoons butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1 1/2 tablespoons apple jelly(I use hartys jelly)
• 1 cup chilled cream
• 1 tablespoon castor sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons Calvados


SPECIAL EQUIPMENT parchment paper; a large baking sheet (at least 14 inches wide)
METHOD
Roll out pastry on a lightly floured surface with a floured rolling pin into a rough 16-inch round (1/8 inch thick), then transfer carefully to parchment-lined large baking sheet. Loosely fold in edge of pastry where necessary to fit on baking sheet, then chill, covered, 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 175c While pastry is chilling, peel and core apples, then cut into 1/8-inch-thick slices. Toss slices with lemon juice and 1/3 cup granulated sugar. Put baking sheet with pastry on a work surface and unfold any edges so pastry is flat. Spread applesauce over pastry, leaving a 2-inch border, and top sauce with sliced apples, mounding slightly. Fold edges of dough over filling, partially covering apples (center will not be covered) and pleating dough as necessary. Dot apples with butter, then brush pastry edge lightly with water and sprinkle with remaining 1/2 tablespoon granulated sugar. Bake galette in middle of oven until pastry is golden and apples are tender, 40 to 45 minutes.
While galette is baking, melt apple jelly in a very small saucepan over moderately low heat, stirring. Slide baked galette on parchment onto a rack, then brush with melted jelly and cool galette until warm or room temperature. Beat together cream and castor sugar in a bowl with an electric mixer until cream just holds soft peaks, then beat in Calvados. Serve galette topped with dollops of Calvados cream.
Let me know if you enjoyed them and we will continue our healthy eating next week and remember to send your quetions to: askchefnoel@hotmail.com

























Coffee Morning for the Hospice in Ballyfinane Hall on Friday September 20th(today) from 9am to 12noon. Your support would be greatly appreciated.

The O'Sullivan Family, Sytephen,Ella,Mary and Liand with Declan Dowling launch the Tom O'Sullivan Memorial Sweepstake at the Kingdom Greyhound Stadium,Tralee on Monday evening in aid of Kerry/Cork Link Bus and Access Ireland, Front Stephen and Ella O'Sullivan, and Declan Dowling (manager Kingdom Greyhound Stadium,Tralee). Back Mary O'Sullivan, Patricia Kelly (Kerry Cork Link Bus), Agnes Rooney (Bus (4) 17, Erin Cosgroves (Asscess Ireland) and Linda O'Sullivan Photo Joe Hanley


























He asks the barman, "How tall is a penguin?" The barman says about three feet. Santa, "Don't you get any penguins taller than that!" The barman says, "Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that." Santa, "Oh crap, in that case, I just drove over a nun!"
A pirate walks into a bar.
“It’s been a while since I last saw you,” The bartender says, “you look pretty beat up, what happened to you?”
“Nothing much. I’m just fine,” the pirate replies. “But what about the wooden leg?” the bartender asks.
I WENT TO A CURRY HOUSE AND ORDERED THE PELICAN CURRY
It was really nice but the bill was massive
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CENTIPEDE WITH A PARROT?
A Walkie-Talkie!
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CENTIPEDE WITH A PARROT?
A Walkie-Talkie!
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IF YOU HAVE 3 APPLES IN ONE HAND AND FOUR ORANGES IN THE OTHER?
Bloody big hands.!
TO WHOEVER BROKE INTO MY SHOP AND STOLE THREE HUNDRED CANS OF RED BULL:
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
UNITED STATES 2020 ELECTION RESULTS ARE IN!
Oh wait sorry this is just for us Russians
“Ah, I got that a while ago. My leg was blown off by a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”
“And what about the hook?”
“Oh, that. I got my hand chopped off in a sword fight.”
“How’s you get the eye patch, then?”
“Well, a speck of dust get in my eye.”
“You lost your eye from a speck of dust?”
“That was my first day with the hook.”
I asked my daughter to bring me the newspaper. she said I'm too old fashioned and brought me her iPhone. Not getting too much into details, the fly is now dead, the iPhone is broken and my daughter is crying
when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”
The husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”
“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. One, two, three, four. Damn, you’re right.




















A new study by Cartell.ie highlights how potential purchasers now have a one in six chance of buying a car with finance outstanding.
It leaves buyers at considerable risk of losing what they paid for the car if it is seized. Lenders are legally entitled to take the car and leave you with nothing, even though you might have paid €20,000 for it.
The Cartell.ie report found the number of cars still "in debt" when offered for sale has risen to 17.5pc this year.
That is up from 16.6pc last December and a significant rise from the 11.5pc of January 2017.
Cartell.ie expert John Byrne warns: "You may be buying a huge problem."
One of the key findings is that the newer the vehicle, the more likely it is to have money still owed.
The analysis shows there is now more than a two in five chance of a one-year-old car being offered for sale with finance outstanding. There is a similar degree of risk with three-year-old vehicles.
The level of indebtedness emerges from a sample of nearly 6,000 vehicles offered for sale and checked via the Cartell.ie website in the first half of the year. The figures seem to reflect two broad trends.
The first is that many owners have stretched too far and can't keep up the repayments.
But experts also believe the increase gives an insight into how more people, especially those on PCPs, are gauging the value of their car. They are testing the market to see what they would get if they sold privately.
They are checking if someone will pay more than the guaranteed minimum value (GMV) under a PCP plan, for example.
The real danger - for unsuspecting buyers - is the likelihood that some unscrupulous sellers may be trying to pull a fast one.
That is why it is essential to have a car's financial history checked out.
It is unlikely that older vehicles have PCPs, yet even they are regularly offered for purchase with money owed - 16.43pc of all 2013-registered vehicles were in that bracket.
Mr Byrne says: "What's really concerning is that finance levels are up all across the years, and the headline figure of 17.5pc overall is particularly concerning."
* Ford Mustang owners from all over Europe set a new world record for the most models in a single parade, at the brand's Lommel proving ground in Belgium recently. The 1,326 Mustangs beat the previous record of 960 - also set by Ford - in Mexico in December 2017
Eddie Cunningham ,Indo motoring
It was one of the first, and remains one of the most effective, road safety interventions introduced in Ireland.The penalty points system was introduced on November 1, 2002. At first it only included the offence of speeding. Seatbelts, no insurance and mobile phone offences were added shortly after. Now 63 offences attract penalty points. The system is designed to prevent drivers from endangering themselves and others. It's a voluntary system. Penalty points are not being forced on people. If you accumulate 12 penalty points within a three-year period you face disqualification from driving for six months. A lower threshold of seven penalty points, leading to disqualification, applies to learner permit holders who took out their first permit on or after August 1, 2014; and novice drivers.The points' headline offences remain speeding, mobile phone use non-seatbelt wearing. The top five that attract penalties are:
1. Speeding: 413,135 notices have been issued in the last three years. Speeding is the most significant contributory factor to road trauma.
2. Mobile phone offences: 82,079 notices issued. Research shows you are four times more likely to crash if using a hand-held mobile. This increases substantially if texting.
3. Seat belts: 26,582 notices; 21,536 of these have been issued for failing to wear their own seatbelt. A seatbelt can significantly increase your chances of surviving a crash. The remaining 5,046 notices were issued for failing to properly restrain children. Because children cannot be responsible for their own safety in a car, failing to restrain them properly is selfish and irresponsible.
4. No NCT: 19,870 notices issued for failing to have a valid NCT certificate. Research shows that defective tyres are a factor in almost 14 deaths annually.
5. Driving without reasonable consideration: 15,479 notices issued. This is where a driver's actions, while not leading to a crash, adversely affect another driver.
Others include no insurance (13,345 notices), learner drivers driving unaccompanied (13,044) and breaking a red light (11,676).
The vast majority of drivers, 402,780 out of 519,658, have three or fewer points. So, for the majority it really is a case of 'once bitten, twice shy'. That is how the system is designed to work - as a deterrent.















ANOTHER KERRY DUBLIN CLASH:
was delighted with the standard of the talent coming through.

Following last weekend’s Kerry Dublin encounter at Croke Park fans will not have as far to travel for the next big encounter with a team from the capital. This time it’s the SuperLeague champions Garvey’s Tralee Warriors who welcome their end of season foes UCD Marian to the Complex this Saturday night with a 7.30pm tip-off.
Fans made the Tralee venue a fortress last season with a wonderful and noisy atmosphere that certainly helped the Warrior get over the line – against the side that the open this year’s campaign against on Saturday night. The Warriors have a huge group of dedicated volunteers who were on duty at every home game last season and handled the crowds with great professionalism. They are a vital part of what makes the game night experience at the Complex such an enjoyable one. The game will once again be an all ticket affair and will probably be full from 6.30pm so once you have a ticket make sure to come along early. If you are planning to go to a good number of the home games maybe a season ticket is the best option and some of these are still available from Gerard in the Castle Bar.
Back to the squad and the launch was held this week with hard coach Pat Price and his assistants John Dowling and Gareth Moore unveiling their new signings. The fans are looking forward to seeing how Jonathan Lawton, the new American from Florida Southern College, settles in. Joining from closer at hand are Daniel Jokubaitis and Ivan Bogdanovic join from Keane’s Killorglin. Patrick McCarthy is also back having spent last season studying overseas. The Warriors have a tough start to the season and by their 5th game will have played the teams that finished 2nd, 3rd and 5th last season. After Saturday’s mouthwatering clash with UCD Marian they welcome Belfast Star to Tralee before they go on the road for games against Eanna BC and DCU Saints before they come back for the home game against Templeogue on October 15th. Pat Price has had a busy summer after leading the Warriors to their League win. He has been on Irish coaching duty at the European Championships and told me that he
But now he is focused on the new season with the Warriors starting off on Saturday night. “It’s a nice way to get things underway! We have been working hard to have the pieces in place to get the season underway on a positive note.
“Last year was wonderful but also not perfect! What we would like to repeat is the commitment from the players to improve in season and to earn the right to be in the shake-up come late season”
Basketball is certainly getting close to the halcyon days of the 70’s and 80’s and Kerry is certainly at the forefront with two SuperLeague teams and Killarney’s Scott’s Lakers having realistic ambitions this season to make it three. Underage basketball is also booming in the Academies and with the amount of underage teams. The Kerry Area Basketball Board are deep into planning for their new season that tips off next month with lots to look forward to. We will come back to the KABB scene in the coming weeks. This weekend it is all about the opening games of the National League season. As well as Garvey’s at home to UCD Keanes Supervalu Killorglin are away to Neptune while Scotts Lakers St Pauls open their Division 1 campaign away to Limerick Celtics.
The Ladies Leagues do not start until the following weekend when Team Tom McCarthy’s will be in action.


Now that the dust is settling on the recent All Ireland final replay Kerry’s performances has seen them move much closer to Dublin –in the bookies eyes.
Dublin are once again the hot favourites to take the Steps to Six – we will need to come up with a catchier title to match the Drive for Five. Of course a lot of this could change if a number of the Dublin players step down. And of course one of the big questions is whether Jim Gavin stays or goes. One of his biggest strengths is that the average age of the Dublin team is coming down and indeed some of those that might go are now only subs or bit players. So in the very early days of betting for the
2020 they deserve to be at 4/6 having been backed in from 10/11 after the weekend’s win. Kerry are at 11/4 with Donegal next at 12/1. Our neighbours Cork are at 28/1 which does look at little generous but they probably need a year or two to bring through their undisputed underage talent. From a Kerry point of view they should have a settled management team and squad with very few, if any, expected to step away. The management will be watching the County Championship which gets underway this weekend to see if there are other players they will want to have a look at during the League campaign after Christmas. Back to the 2020 All Ireland campaign and while I stand to be corrected if Kerry and Dublin both win their Provincial titles they will be in the same side of the Super 8’s. So we could have two huge Kerry / Dublin clashes in August and September. Now that’s worth looking forward to.
but one I felt was certainly worth putting in after our coverage of Elaine last week.
BORN TO RUN:

TRALEE MANOR WEST BC READY FOR UP- HILL CHALLENGE: Plans are being finalised for the National Hill Climb Championships which will take place on the 29th on the hill by Crag Cave in Castleisland. Tralee Manor West are the host club and have set a course of just over 1.3km with an average gradient of 10%.
The top riders are expected to complete the climb in just over 3 minutes. Killarney’s Conor Kissane was 2nd in 2018 and 3rd in 2019 and will be going all out to take the top step of the podium. However up to 60 riders are expected to compete so being crowned National Champion certainly wont come easy.
ELAINE’S FEAT SUPERSEDED:

Last week we covered the excellent feat by Elaine Burrows Dillane in swimming the Channel but even she would say that what Sarah Thomas did this week is an amazing achievement.
The breast cancer survivor spent just over 54 hours in the water completing a 4 time non-stop crossing of the channel. And as we said when covering Elaine’s crossing last week the swimmer can have no contact with any of her back up crew. They put the food for the swimmers on a long pole. Before Sarah this week no one had ever completed the fourth crossing – four swimmers had done three non-stop crossing. I know this is not a Tralee story
Well done to all club members who took part in the Rose of Tralee 10k, the Medieval Marathon in Kilkenny and the Dingle Half & Full Marathon recently. Congratulations to all those who have achieved personal milestones, including Helen Twomey and Tony Ponti who completed their first half marathons in Dingle and to Jackie Moriarty on his first full marathon. Club members from Born to Run are invited to take part in the weekly Tralee Parkrun. This will be a club day so everyone is asked to wear club gear and go for a cup of tea afterwards. It would be great to see as many from the club as possible turn out on the day whether you walk, run or volunteer. This year's club Christmas party will take place in the Brogue Inn on Saturday December 7th so mark the date in your diary! Tickets will be available in the next few weeks. Training continues each week for upcoming events including the Women's Mini Marathon in Limerick, the Dublin City Marathon and the Listowel Half Marathon and 10k. For details of routes, check out the Born to Run Facebook page. Club nights continue on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6.30pm from the Aqua Dome. New members always welcome and anyone who is injured can still come along for a cuppa and a chat.
CLASS PODIUMS AT CLARE STAGES RALLY: There was a large Kerry entry into the Dougie Hughes Memorial Clare Stages Rally. The event was the final round of the Top Park West Coast Rally. Topping the Kerry results were Tim Enright and Stephen Buckley who were 18th in their Ford Escort Mk 2 and 4th in Class 13. James Kissane and Eoin Duffin were 2nd in Class 11R. Richard Talbot was calling the notes for Christy Carey from Clare in the Mitsubishi Evo 8 and they were 4th in Class 15 and 23rd overall. Denis Hickey and Sean Nolan were 3rd in Class 14 in their Escort. Maurice Browne and James Browne also took a podium place taking 3rd in Class 12 in the Mark 2.

NIGHTS AT THE DOGS: This Friday night at the Kingdom Greyhound stadium it’s the first round heats of the Crotta GAA Buster A5 525 yards. The following night it’s the final of the ON525 yards plus the final of the Tom O’Sullivan Memorial A3 525 yards. This is the centre piece of a joint benefit night for the Buy A Bus Campaign for the Kerry Parents and Friends and the Kerry Cancer Bus. There will be face painting for the kids and music after racing. On Sunday night the action gets
underway at 6.35pm with an 8 race program.
LIFTING FOR IRELAND:
Tralee’s Rachel O’Connor is continuing her preparations for her forthcoming trip to Canada where she will be wearing the Green of Ireland in the International Weightlifting Championships.
PARNELL’S NEWS:
around Croke Park on All Ireland Camogie final day and also witness Kerry winning the Premier Junior crown.
The u12 boys lost out ot Kenmare/ Kilgarvan in extra time in the South Kerry Division 1 final in Farranfore. There was only one point in the game at the end of extra time with the South Kerry side winning 6-04 to 4-09.
The Castleisland side started the better but Ballymac’s abilty to score goals saw them lead 4-04 to 1-09 and then take the win 5-13 t 4-12. Richie Cotter presented the Shield to the Ballymac captain Diarmuid Galvin as the double was loudly celebrated.
set to start this weekend although at the going to print no fixtures were available.
The Academy will train as normal on Sunday morning with the trip to Sandy Feet Farm being rescheduled.

The club is holding a family fundraising night in Caherslee on Friday the 27th with lots of activities for all the family. Arm bands are now on sale to allow participation where there will be a hospitality area on the gravel plus lots of fun games and competitions including a Poc Fada challenge with more activities to be announced. The u13’s put in a great effort to defeat Crotta in the North Kerry u13B final that took place in Kilmoyley. Crotta had the better of the first half and led by 1-06 to 0-2 at the break. However some changes by Parnells worked wonders, especially Andrew Kerins. 1-02 in the first few minutes got them back into the game and the Tralee boys took the win 3-12 to 1-11.
There was a nice moment at the presentation when captain Sean Barrett was joined by Thomas O’Connell, grandson of the man who the Shield is named after Michael O’Connell to collect the trophy from his grandmother. Emanuel Brankovic was named player of the match.
The minors played their opening game in the much-needed inaugural u18 County League. Causeway were the opposition but the Tralee side put in a very good effort on the night. Cillard are their next opposition.
The u21’s were underdogs when they faced St Brendan’s Ardfert in the North Kerry Championship a few weeks ago and the faced the same opposition at home last week. The visitors got off to the better start but Parnells steadied the ship. The Tralee side are in their first ever North Kerry Championship and will need time to get to this level. But playing against sides at this level is the only way for the club to progress. The game came to a premature end when the lights failed and will be rescheduled.
The u10’s had a very enjoyable day in the Jack Moriarty Memorial Tournament in Clonlara in Clare winning 2 out of their 3 games. This saw them play Clarinbridge in the B Final but despite a great effort they went down by a single goal. Luke Hanafin was a very worthy winner of the Player of the Tournament award. The club was delighted to get the invitation and look forward to travelling again next season. The club is very proud of its members who are part of the victorious Kerry side and after defeating Armagh they were thrilled to parade the trophy
The u12 camogie side are in B final when the face Cillard in Abbeydorney as part of a triple header of finals.
The strength of the u8’s was shown with 2 teams in the South Kerry Blitz and they enjoyed their day playing 3 games.
The club is delighted to welcome Laois Hire as a sponsor which were worn by the u21’s in their North Kerry Championship game.
STACKS JUNIOR NEWS:
The u6’s, u8’s and u10’s continue their training on Thursday evenings – 5.45 – and Sunday mornings and both ages will welcome the Legion to Tralee on October 6th.
The u8’s will also be taking part in the annual John Mitchels Blitz which is always a most enjoyable day’s football.
The u9’s were in Cork at the St Finbarr’s Club Tournament and were delighted to being home the Canty Plate. The club thanks the Cork club for another wonderful tournament.
The u12’s continue to train twice a week and really enjoyed the Templeogue/Synge St Club tournament and are now looking forward to their trip to Oranmore in Galway. The u13’s are in the Town League final this Sunday when they take on Ballymac. The club wishes the squad and management all the best. Next on the agenda for the u16’s is the Town League with the fixtures still to be announced.
COLLEGES FOOTBALL:
As the summer comes to an end and the autumn begins thoughts turn to the Colleges Football competitions. Things get underway with the mouth-watering clash of CBS The Green and Mounthawk. The game throws in in Connolly Park at 1.30pm.
BALLYMAC NEWS:
The club is in the process of erecting nets behind the goals to a cost of e9,500. This has to be done for health and safety reasons. One of the clubs biggest fund raisers is the Gold Classic which will take place in Beaufort on the 19th of October at Beaufort Golf Club.
The club is also working hard to ensure the success of the Run Ballymac event which talks place on Sunday October 13th. This is open to all with difference distances and can be ran, jogged or walked with plenty of prizes on offer. Places must be booked on-line.
On the field each teams hopes to complete the ‘big double’ every season – the County League and the Castlsisland District League. The u14’s are the County League champions and are now celebrating the double having beaten Desmonds in Cordal this week.
The Eric Mason Tournament will now take place on September 28th. The 8th annual Tournament for u12’s is run yearly in memory of Eric who passed away tragically at the age of 15.
The u12 Blue team went down 1=13 to 2-08 in the Central Region League but the Blues defeated the same opposition 4-15 to 3-05.
The Academy is back this weekend and will run as normal on Sunday morning for boys and girls from u6’s to u10’s.
There was no winner of the Lotto from the numbers drawn 7,17, 18 and 19 with the next jackpot e4,500.
BALLYMAC NEWS:
There was no winner of the Lotto from the numbers drawn 8,16,28 and 29 and the next Jackpot will be e7,700 with the drawn on Sunday night in Keane’s Bar.
There were great numbers again for the Academy with Tadgh Murphy getting the Player of the Week trophy. The u8’s are thrilling their coaches with the way they are developing and Erika Balode was named Player of the Week.
There is no Academy for the u8’s this week as they are playing in the John Mitchels Blitz this Sunday at the Tralee Sports Complex from 10am to 2.30pm.
Everyone is behind St Brendan’s as they face East Kerry in Round 1 of the Senior Football Championship at 1.30pm on Sunday in Austin Stack Park. St Pat’s Seamus Murphy is the team manager.
KERINS O’RAHILLYS NEWS:
Thoughts have quickly moved on from the All Ireland to the Garvey’s County Senior Football Championship and the senior team face the tough test of Kenmare Shamrocks at 3.30pm in Austin Stacks Park as the second game in a double header. All the Kerry stars are expected to be in action.
The Junior side went down to neighbours John Mitchels in the Town League final. It was the old story that goals win games with the final score being 4-11 to 0-11.
In the Juvenile section the u10 girls will be playing in the Carmel O’Connor Memorial Grada Blitz this Saturday at the Na Gaeil pitch.
In Round 1 of the Town League the girls were beaten by Mitchels and are away to Churchill in Round 2.
The u13 District competition will begin in the next few weeks while the u14 girls were in North Kerry action this week where they took on the Stacks.
The u16 girls will be at home to Castleisland Desmonds in the North Kerry League Round 3 and away to Na Gaeil on October 4th in the final round. The u17’s are waiting for the new dates for their competition.
The U8 and U10 boys will take part in the Mitchels’ Blitz next Saturday while the u16 Town League is also
A team from Tralee and two from Deerpark will represent Kerry in the Strokeplay Qualifying tournament where a top 5 place will guarantee them a place in next month’s quarter finals. The competition takes place in Bruff.
There was no joy last weekend for the Kerry pairs in the inaugural National Scotch (formerly mixed) Foursomes Finals that took place in Bellewstown.
Tralee’s Lisa O’Connor and Tony Blake put in a great effort and were only three points of a prize ending on 87 points (44 and 43 in each round) with 90 taking second place.

The governing bodies of amateur golf in Ireland, England, Scotland and Wales are delighted to announce that they have signed the licence for the new World Handicap System (WHS) which will come into operation on November 2, 2020.
As members of the Council of National Golf Unions (CONGU), the Golfing Union of Ireland, the Irish Ladies Golf Union, England Golf, Scottish Golf and Wales Golf have supported The R&A and USGA in planning for the new system. The current Golf Handicapping System maintained by CONGU will be replaced by WHS. For the first time, handicap systems worldwide will be substituted by a global system where golfers will obtain and maintain a handicap and use this on any course around the world. In addition, they will be able to compete or simply play a casual round with fellow golfers anywhere on a fair and equal basis. As well as encouraging players new to the sport to obtain a handicap with ease, the WHS will also modernise the game for those already well versed in the game of golf.
Under the new system a player’s handicap will be based on the average of eight best scores from their last 20 rounds. WHS will also take into account factors currently not fully represented in the existing handicapping procedure through a course and slope rating system. Further information about the new World Handicap System can be found via The R&A website at https://www.randa.org/ WorldHandicapSystem















































































