Flowing Into Summer

By dr. Jen altMan

Iadmire people who seem nonplussed by the things that stress me out. Unfazed by life’s demands, they move through daily challenges with purpose and satisfaction. There is a word for this state of being – it’s called “flow.”

Flow is described as a state of intense engagement, focus and contentment in the present moment. In flow, you have a feeling of calm. You’re absorbed in a task, but not stressed out or worried by it. You feel less self-conscious and even less anxious. This lasts beyond the experience itself, since being in a state of flow balances stress levels. It is a wonderful experience and even the most mundane tasks can become rewarding.

In considering this phenomenon, and always searching for ways to make small shifts to improve my own mindset, I propose summertime is the perfect opportunity to find your “flow.”

The discovery of “flow” starts with mindfulness. Mindfulness gets a lot of buzz these days – and may seem elusive or intimidating. At its core it’s about paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment. The pace of day-to-day life makes it difficult to feel like we are truly present. We do our best but when tasked with fulfilling obligations and meeting deadlines during the school year it feels like a burden. You might notice the same tasks become less burdensome when the weather gets warmer and the days get longer. When you think about it, it’s not the demands that change, it’s our attitude.

Get outdoors. Nature is the best serotonin booster! Nothing brings you into a moment like smelling fresh cut grass, appreciating the lush greenery that overtakes our neighborhoods, feeling the sun on your face. It centers you, grounds you and focuses your attention.

Make time for real self-care. When someone you love wants to do something fun, you encourage them to do so. Time to give yourself that same permission. Self-care isn’t just about massages and relaxing – it’s about embracing creativity, trying pickleball, planning a getaway with your partner or friends. It’s not selfish – it broadens your mindset, enhances joy and creates flow.

Be mindful. Mindfulness is a skill you can practice. It takes repetition to make it a part of your daily life. Fortunately, there are many resources available to help. Apps like Calm and Insight Timer provide exercises and guided meditations (sometimes by celebrities!). The Krame Center in Ramsey is devoted to teaching mindfulness and offers classes as well as free meditation sessions (thekramecenter.org). It doesn’t take a huge commitment to improve.

When the school year ends, so does the intensity of daily preparation and managing the lives of the littles. There are fewer places to have to be. Even when there are schedules, bringing children to camps where they play all day or do their favorite things without the onus of math, social studies and spelling tests is inevitably more exciting and fun. Summertime brings fewer distractions and more space. A pause in the book report/ bake sale/PTO obligations means more time available to do, well, less. Or more of what makes you happy. And when you can finally focus your attention – that’s when you find your flow.

Dr. Jen Altman is a New York- and New Jersey-licensed clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience. She is currently in private practice in Saddle River. Dr. Altman works with children, teens and adults dealing with a variety of issues related to anxiety, depression, learning differences, motivation, social skills and family conflict. Dr. Altman consults with schools, offers professional development workshops, writes social-emotional learning curriculum and presents on a wide variety of topics. Dr. Altman is also the mother of two amazing teens, and co-creator of The Worry Chest.

Find out more at www.drjenaltman.com.

Bergen CASA for Children held their annual Casino Night at Seasons. For more information, visit www.bergencasa.org.

Habitat for Humanity held their annual gala event at Seasons. For more information, visit www.habitatbergen.org.