Being An Ally

By Marilyn katzMan

As we begin to learn more about hateful incidents against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ+) people, such as the Colorado Springs shooting at Club Q last fall, some people may have questions about how to best support their LGBTQ+ loved ones. Witnesses had described the club as a place where they could be themselves, a concern reiterated by Jess Horan, a youth coordinator for the Bergen County LGBTQ+ Alliance (BCLA). Horan, who has experienced bias herself, wanted to be involved with the organization that advocates for the LGBTQ+ community in Bergen County.

The alliance was formed in 2021 by Anthony Torres and Nick O’Neill to raise awareness of the community, providing resources to support youth and reduce isolation for seniors. They have helped people with issues as challenging as youth homelessness, violence against transgender women and living with HIV. The BCLA website includes information ranging from vaccine locations to senior monthly meetings, weekly youth support groups and access to mental health resources.

When Horan became a board member of BCLA, she came up with an idea to provide gender-affirming clothing for teens and young adults. She approached Cassandra Francavilla, chair of Dumont’s Cultural Affairs, Inclusivity, Diversity & Celebration Committee, to ask for help setting up Threadz, an inaugural event to be held at the Dumont Senior Center.

“We received great support from our borough leaders and the community,” said Francavilla. “Tons of clothing and shoes were donated as well as accessories and personal items. Residents volunteered to ensure it remained a safe environment for LGBQ youth to be themselves.”

Threadz has since relocated to the Cresskill Congre- gational Church UCC, where teens and young adults can pick out free clothing that suits their identity. Horan works closely with the Rainbow Café located in the church.

“They can choose clothing items they feel most comfortable in,” said Horan. “I knew LGBTQ+ students would look to me on how I reacted to adversity and show them that good things can come out of bad situations.”

Additionally, volunteers are available to do alterations on the spot while Threadz is open.

“Threadz is a great place for people to find clothing they feel comfortable in, in an accepting environment,” said high school senior Kiera Redfern. “As someone who wears masculine clothing, it is sometimes uncomfortable to shop in the men’s section, but at Threadz, they help me get clothes which make me feel like my true self.”

At the Rainbow Café, youth in grades 6-12 attend dances and a lounge with an open mic, karaoke and board games.

“It’s simply a safe place for the kids,” said Carolyn Schinkel, a volunteer senior advisor to the Café.

“Twelve years ago, kids didn’t have a place to go,” she noted. “Teachers, guidance counselors and therapists will often refer parents to the Café as a social place where their gay child in need of friends can go.”

The youth programs are not religious and are open to all. An LGBTQ+ book group for grades 9-12 is also available at the church.

The alliance has surveyed people at Pride events and through social media to assess needs and demonstrate that there is a significant LGBTQ+ population in Bergen County.

“We need resources here for people who are local residents and shouldn’t have to go to New York City to deal with problems and have a fulfilling life,” said O’Neill.

To learn more, visit www.bergencountylgbtq.org or www.rainbowcafennj.org.

The BIA held their 59th annual St. Patrick’s Day Dinner Dance at Seasons. For more information, visit www.bergenirish.org.