DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY

Don’t Worry, Be Happy! – Bobby McFerrin

By Barry Eisen A gizzillion years ago I had the honor and privilege of spending time with Norman Vincent Peale, Methodist minister, author of The Power of Positive Thinking, controversial thinker and one of the best motivational speakers I’ve ever heard.

He told of a chance encounter with one of his parishioners, George, on a street in New York City. George was despondent. When Dr. Peale asked him about his state of mind, George let go with a tirade of confessions of being so overwhelmed with problems and worries that he couldn’t sleep at night and couldn’t think straight by day. “I’m a depressed mess,” George sadly confided.

Dr. Peale asked George if he could spare some time to meet a large group of people who might have answers to George’s worries, since this was truly a worry free group. George, at his wits end grunted “sure.” After a long car ride to near the tip of Long Island, Dr. Peale had the taxicab stop in the middle of a large cemetery and the two men got out.

“George,” Dr. Peale said, waiving his arm slowly over the horizon, “here are thousands of souls who haven’t got a worry among them. If death means you have no worries, to worry must mean you’re alive! And if you have lots of worries, how much more alive you must be!” It’s a matter of perspective.”

Worry is something we choose that is not of the world, but rather, in how we think. It’s a distraction that takes us away from confronting our realities.

Here are nine potentially life changing ideas. Some you maybe doing, some you have done in the past, and for some may these serve as a reminder to get back on track. If any would serve you, start now.

• Make your list for tomorrow at

the end of TODAY. Preparing for tomorrow at the end of today helps you rest well.The mind doesn’t have to spend the night worrying “Remember this and Don’t forget that!” You wake up knowing how to start and where you’re going! Be sure to prioritize your list with an A, B, or C. Let go of yesterday and focus on your To-Do-List of today. If it was important from yesterday and incomplete, it’ll be on today’s list. Do things, not because you have to, but because you get to.

• Keep your mind busy with the highestpriorityinthemoment. Instead of figuring out why you are the way you are, stay on task knowing that you can only do one thing at a time. Consider the satisfaction you will feel when that one task is accomplished and then turn to your next. Of course interruptions will happen. When they do, ask yourself: Is the interruption or is the task at hand of HIGHER VALUE for THIS moment? (Most therapists don’t try to figure out why a person is worrying; but will prescribe that a patient do something or learn something on which to focus positively. Learning/ stimulating the mind can get a person out of their ego-centric predicament.) Multi-tasking has been proven not to

be the best way to go. Slow down and focus.

• Allow yourself to risk. Enter enough.A friend of Nan’s had won the grand prize on the American Chopper contest.When asked how he won, he laughed and said, “When the contest was announced, I ENTERED.” You’ve got to allow yourself to enter the game and know that you aren’t going to win every time, but you’re a winner by playing and playing your best. Enter enough! If worrying about losing stops you from entering, it guarantees a loss. Enter enough and you’ll find those places where you win. And as you enter enough, your skills get better. Make up for lack of skills, not by thinking about the lack, but with enough activity. Show up... most don’t.

• Focus on what is right, the good,

rather than on what is wrong. So much of the media focuses on the isolated disaster story. Happy stories don’t sell. Media stories appeal to the lowest common denominator of our interests. Don’t go for the easy “take” or opinion of others. Consider the possibilities. Have you ever had your good intentions misread by others?Allow the benefit of doubt by seeing good in others. They are more likely to show you their good if they feel that availability from you. Don’t listen to T.V. or read internet news before you go to sleep at night. Count the things for which you can be grateful (full of greatness!) and sleep better.

• Smile more and hold eye contact with others. Create a positive posture. Your positive physiology will be reflected by others and even if you’re faking it, your forced smile, eye contact and positive posture will feel more natural and comfortable. Little shifts.

• Delegate responsibilities. Do what you can, but let go of things before you become overwhelmed. If someone else can do a task only 80% of the way you would do it, but it gives you 100% of that time for another taks which only YOU can do...you are 180% productive with that time. Life is too short.What parts are really worth your attention?

• Exercise/eat well/sleep well. Exercise is a great idea even though you may feel stressed about time and other preoccupations. The endorphins that reduce feelings of worry, fear, adrenaline production, also promote a more relaxed mind and body. As we grow older it’s inactivity

that will contribute most to pain and suffering. Do what’s right. Stay active. Cutting back on simple carbs allows the brain greater clarity. Good sleep patterns promote a healthier brain and better transmission of neurotransmitters (especially dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin -- happy! happy! happy!).

• Take breaks. Short (10-15 minute) periods of meditation, stretching or self hypnosis have been proven to minimize mental fatigue, re-direct thinking to positive vision, and prompt productive, feelings of well being and energy.

•Do something nice for at least one someone each day. Go out of your way to make some else’s life a little better. Get out of your own head, just a little. Pass it forward.

Worry is not caused by external events or situations, but by how we perceive those events or situations. But for those self sabotaging warriors who are reluctant to give up worrier ways, here is a great idea: On the top of a full size piece of paper or, if you prefer, a digital memo app, write or type the words WORRY LIST. When a worry comes to mind, instead of letting it interrupt what you are doing, take out this list and jot down/type the worry. Keep doing this for one whole week. On Friday afternoon between the hours of 4:005:00 PM lock yourself up in a room alone and take out your worry list. Worry about everything on your list for that full hour. So, you haven’t missed your self-made opportunity (choice) to worry, but you did it under your conditions, and wasted a lot less time.

If this idea seems silly, it is...and it’s not. (You might be surprised at how many people with whom I’ve shared this thought, took it seriously and found great benefit.) Value yourself and those around you by not sweating so much of the small stuff... And as the wise man said, “It’s ALL small stuff.”

Copyright©, Barry Eisen. All rights reserved.

Barry Eisen teaches personal development seminars and coaches Southern California top producing REALTORS®. “Your business will never grow more than you do” is the theme; self hypnosis and behavior modification are the tools for playing a bigger game. barryeisen.com, barryeisen@LA.twcbc.com 818-769-4300