1 minute read
Jokes ha ha
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got a John Deere.’
The lawyer said, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?'
The farmer said, 'Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere.'
The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?'
The farmer said, 'No, we both get up at 4:30.' By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question. The lawyer said, 'Is your wife a nagger?'
The farmer said, 'No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce.'
What’s the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET?
ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own bike, and wanted to go home!
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to B&Q and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the nice young man to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom vanity tap set... When the man was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that vanity set?”
The young assistant manager replied, "That's a gold plated set and the price is £500.”
Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is very expensive. It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy. The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Lady, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the vanity set."
