Middletown Magazine March 2022

MAGAZINE

MARCH 2022

SARA GETTELFINGER CHANNELS HER ARTISTIC PASSIONS

GRAVE ENDEAVORS Introducing Jack Koppel, aka the Cemetery Man SHEAR ACCOMPLISHMENT Milton Haskins Reflects on Career and Community

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MARCH 2022

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Adoption Assistance Provides Step-byStep Guidance in Child Placement

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A LOVING HOME

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GRAVE ENDEAVORS

Introducing Jack Koppel, aka the Cemetery Man

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Local Artist’s Work Earns Spot in Muhammad Ali Center’s Permanent Collection

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LOVE TO WIN OR HATE TO LOSE

RIVER CITIES CONCERT BAND Local Music Group Celebrates More Than 40 Years of Performance

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TRUE EXPRESSION

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Breaking Down the Psychology of Performance Attitudes

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SHEAR ACCOMPLISHMENT

Sara Gettelfinger Channels Her Artistic Passions

Milton Haskins Reflects on Career and Community

KEY CONTRIBUTORS ANDREW TOY / CARRIE VITTITOE / CHRISTY HEITGER-EWING DAVE SCHROERLUCKE / JULIE ENGELHARDT / SAM DUNN / ZACH BURRELL

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A Loving Home ADOPTION ASSISTANCE PROVIDES STEP-BY-STEP GUIDANCE IN CHILD PLACEMENT

Writer / Carrie Vittitoe Photography Provided

Tennessee, helping people adopt children from 63 different countries.

Julie Erwin, founder and executive director of Adoption Assistance, has lived the adoption experience and uses it to help other people create families.

In the early days of Adoption Assistance, Erwin didn’t advertise, but word got around that she was able to help families navigate the adoption journey.

Erwin began Adoption Assistance in 1999 from her home in Danville, Kentucky, as an adoptive mom of two young children at the time, to help other families beginning the adoption process.

“I learned so much about adoption and I’d become so passionate about the concept,” she says.

The recommendation includes both the desires of the adoptive family and the expertise of the Adoption Assistance staff.

After the home study and recommendation, the family waits to get matched.

“Typically, a birth parent when pregnant is going to make an adoption plan, and they will choose a family to adopt that child,” Erwin says.

Erwin says a couple without children that is open to race and background can expect to be matched between six and 12 months.

Regardless of what type of adoption a family It can be hard for adoptive parents to know wants to pursue, the first step is the home study. that until the child is born and the biological parents sign the paperwork, the adoption “It’s really two parts,” Erwin says. “It’s us could fall through. collecting documents from the family, but it’s also training that family - things like “I tell families eight out of 10 cases are going attachment, grief, bonding and other really to go through without any problem,” Erwin important tools when you’re going to parent says. “In the other two, that birth parent is a child that has been adopted.” going to change their mind.”

She already had a master’s degree in guidance and counseling, so she took steps to get licensed by the Cabinet for Families and Children in Kentucky to help other families adopt.

At the end of the home study process, which takes around six to eight weeks if families are on top of their paperwork, Erwin and her staff write a report that is basically a snapshot of the family and includes a recommendation.

In 2010 Erwin’s family moved to Louisville, so Adoption Assistance also got a new home. It was first in Middletown but relocated to St. Matthews six years ago. In its 22 years, Adoption Assistance has grown from a one-woman operation to a staff of 16 people, with licenses in Kentucky and

“It will be pretty specific about recommending that a family adopt a child between certain ages, of certain race, of certain gender,” Erwin says. “This is the gate to allow them to have a child come into their home.”

6 / MIDDLETOWN MAGAZINE / MARCH 2022 / TownePost.com

Erwin counsels families that despite some risk in domestic adoptions, they can mitigate risk.

“A birth mother that’s between 20 and 24, and already parenting a child, has the highest rate of going through with [an adoption],” Erwin says. “She’s very realistic about what it takes to parent that one child.”

When it comes to matching for an international adoption, Erwin and her staff

follow the laws for various countries.

While matching may not take long, the international process for adoption tends to be longer. A time frame of 10 to 24 months is the norm for international adoption, but circumstances like pandemics or war can disrupt the process.

Erwin says most adoptive families use a combination of ways to help cover adoption costs, including a federal adoption tax credit of $14,440 for incomes under $247,000. An increasing number of companies provide benefits to adoptive parents as well.

“Companies often have credits between $3,000 and $15,000 as an employee benefit,” Erwin says.

Adoption costs can range between $13,000

and $40,000. International adoption expenses include translation of documents, foreign travel to pick up the child, and care of children in orphanages. Domestic adoptions can include costs for attorney fees and birth

parent living expenses.

Families that want to adopt a child and are willing to adopt straight from foster care have the benefit of only paying for the home

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study expense.

“The state that has custody of the child picks up the rest of the cost of doing the adoption,” Erwin says.

In 2000, close to 21,000 children were adopted internationally and brought into the United States. By 2019, international adoption numbers were under 3,000. Even though the need is still there, with more than 144 million orphans in the world, governments have changed their rules or added restrictions.

Domestic adoptions have also changed over time as a result of social media. Increasingly, birth parents are finding adoptive parents for their unborn children via Facebook and Craigslist.

“Families are matched in such different ways,” Erwin says. “We tell our adoptive families to tell their story.”

The openness of adoptions has also changed is a formal adoption with the help of an organization like Adoption Assistance, but over time. in many cases it is a situation of a relative raising a nonbiological child.

“Out of 10 adoptions, eight are going to be semi-open,” Erwin says.

Another myth concerns the image of what a birth parent is. Some people might Of the other 20% of adoptions, 10% are closed and the other 10% are open adoptions. have a mistaken idea that a birth parent is irresponsible or uncaring, but giving up a child for adoption is a sacrifice.

“We are seeing more open adoptions than we ever have because the research says it can be so healthy for that child,” Erwin says.

“It is one of the most loving, unselfish things they can do,” Erwin says.

Some families meet yearly, talk on the phone or send gifts. The decision on Erwin has adopted three more children through international adoption, and whether an adoption is semi-open, fully continues to offer her expertise to other open or closed is made before a match happens, based on what the birth parent and families on their adoption journey. She says families now are much better prepared than adoptive family want. she was more than two decades ago when she brought her first child home.

Erwin says some common myths about adoptions still persist. One myth is that For more info, visit adoptionassistance.com. adoption is uncommon, but Erwin says a quarter of families raise children that aren’t biologically theirs. Sometimes this

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Terrance Mason

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LOCAL ARTIST’S WORK EARNS SPOT IN MUHAMMAD ALI CENTER’S PERMANENT COLLECTION Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided

Having grown up in Louisville, Terrance Mason was always a huge Muhammed Ali fan. Regarded by many as the greatest boxer of all time, Ali was an influential, charismatic athlete who cared about others and was known for saying, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.”

“He had a big influence on my life and so many others, so I decided to create a piece of art that honored him,” Mason says.

followed by hip replacements.

“I was never able to bounce back from that accident,” Mason says. “Over the last 11 years, I basically went from being a young 32-year-old to a 43-year-old disabled guy.”

entire world being shaken apart for me to rediscover who I am. It took losing my mobility to make me realize that art is what I should be doing.”

When Ali passed away in June of 2016, Mason felt compelled to finish “The Day the Though he didn’t have his health, he still had Galaxy Stood Still.” his art. In fact, he credits his art as being the endeavor that kept him from succumbing to The Muhammad Ali Center opened in November of 2005. Their new chief depression. executive officer started on January 17 what would have been Ali’s 80th birthday.

“It saved my life,” he says. “In a lot of ways, hurting my back is one of the best things “It’s an exciting time for the center as we move that ever happened to me because it got forward in our mission of promoting and me out of the 9-to-5 job that I hated and preserving Muhammad’s legacy,” says Jeanie B. allowed me to reinvent myself.”

Kahnke, senior director of public relations and external affairs at the Muhammad Ali Center.

Mason let go of the old definition of the “We do that through our award-winning American dream and redefined it for himself. Rather than focusing on prosperity permanent exhibits, temporary exhibits, educational programming, outreach initiatives and success, he now is content with embracing who he is and what he loves. and private events.”

The painting, titled “The Day the Galaxy Stood Still: The Greatest Vs. The Man of Steel,” depicts Ali boxing Superman. The idea was born from a 1970s Superman comic. Mason started the piece years ago, but his perfectionistic tendencies stifled him so he put it aside. Working full time at a youth detention center didn’t help, as he had little free time to devote to his art. In 2010 “I’ve always been an artist at heart, but I Mason severely injured his back at work had basically given up on art and let life and had to undergo fusions and injections, get in the way,” Mason says. “It took my TownePost.com / MARCH 2022 / 9

When Kahnke and Bess Goldy, manager of collections, heard of Mason’s work, they were intrigued as they had never before seen

which ones to add. Selections are made based on several factors, including whether artwork of Ali and Superman. When they is more than a painting, as there are many they have the space to care for and preserve laid eyes on the finished piece, which stands components to it. It plugs in and lights the piece, and whether it suits their mission. a whopping 10’ tall, they were blown away. up. Mason built the frame for it, and it’s In the case of Mason’s piece, they elected self-standing. The background is an acrylic to put it in their permanent collection on “It’s stellar,” Kahnke says. “You could tell painting of Superman and Ali, and it prominent display in the main lobby. That that Terrance had put his heart and soul into includes a front inlay acrylic with a bee on it. happened in September of 2021. The first this piece.” time the artist himself set eyes on the piece “Finishing that piece was a labor of love,” in the Ali Center, he was humbled.

“Ali was a bigger-than-life man and he Goldy says. “We thought it would be a great deserved a bigger-than-life piece of art,” addition to our collection.”

“It was one of the proudest moments of my Mason says. life,” he says. “To have a piece of me be on The collection committee meets quarterly display where anybody and everybody from The mixed-media, multidimensional piece to review all potential donations and decide all over the world will see it, I can’t even

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describe that feeling.”

reminder that Mason is on the right path.

His creations aren’t always on canvas or paper. His art incorporates a lot of carpentry work. In October of 2021, Mason suffered another accident when he lost part of his middle finger in a table-saw accident. The following day, however, he was back to creating art.

“My life started to show me that it’s still in my corner,” he says.

“I love what I do so much,” Mason says.

“It doesn’t matter what’s going on in life. I have to do what makes me happy, and that’s creation. I love coming up with something different, something new every day.”

Since his painting was revealed at the Ali Center, Mason has heard from people he hasn’t seen in 30 years, wishing him well and congratulating him on a job well-done.

Unfortunately, Mason recently lost his studio space so he’s on the hunt for an affordable location so he can continue his work. After facing so many difficulties, the display of “The Day the Galaxy Stood Still” is a nice

“It fills my heart with happiness and honestly makes me a bit misty because I never really felt I was worth much,” Mason says. “It’s amazing when you live your life and don’t think much of it or even think much of

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yourself. Then suddenly you realize you’re somebody special. I think a lot of people don’t realize how special they really are.”

“When visitors go through the exhibit, it provides inspiration to find greatness within themselves,” Kahnke says. “They ask how they can make the world a better place.

When they see this piece of art, they can ask, ‘What is the Superman inside of me?’”

Prior to the pandemic, the Ali Center had approximately 100,000 visitors per year, and the staff members are eager to welcome many more in 2022. Comments from visitors Mason, who spent his childhood idolizing Ali, always strove to be the greatest at on Mason’s artwork have been positive. something himself.

“We’ve heard lots of oohs and aahs,” Goldy “I’ll never call myself the greatest like he says. “Staff members have told me how awesome it is, and that it livens up the lobby.” did,” Mason says. “I have, however, pulled off my greatest accomplishment as an individual by seeing this project all the way “Terrance’s work really catches the eye of to the finish line.” our visitors and draws them in,” Kahnke adds. “People take selfies in front of it and The Muhammad Ali Center is located at ask questions about it. It’s such a beautiful 144 North Sixth Street in Louisville. For addition to our lobby.” more information, call 502-584-9254 or visit alicenter.org. To see more of Mason’s Kahnke says the staff wants visitors to understand what made Ali the greatest, and work or to inquire about how to purchase a that hopefully some of that will translate to piece, visit mindofmason.com. their lives.

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RIVER CITIES CONCERT BAND

LOCAL MUSIC GROUP CELEBRATES MORE THAN 40 YEARS OF PERFORMANCE place in May 1980. We even have one member in the band who was a part of that first concert.”

In the mid-1980s the rehearsals were moved from the high school to River Valley Middle School in Jeffersonville due to Davis transferring there. As the band grew in size, more people from the Louisville side were joining, so it made sense to move the rehearsals over to Kentucky. They set up residency at St. Matthews Baptist Church.

Writer / Julie Engelhardt Photography Provided

When you hear the phrase “music city,” you might think of Nashville, Tennessee. Yet, our southern neighbor isn’t the only city where scores of talented folks reside. In our Derby City you’ll find excellent performers who are quite musically inclined. Some belong to the big guns such as the Louisville Orchestra, and then there are others who play with smaller organizations such as the River Cities Concert Band (RCCB).

If you aren’t familiar with the RCCB, then it’s time you knew more about it. The band is comprised of players from both southern Indiana and Louisville. According to band president and tuba player Steve Ellis, the RCCB began in 1980 with its first rehearsal in the Jeffersonville High School band room.

“Gene Davis, the band director at the high school, was the first RCCB director, with Jeff Staten serving as the assistant director,” Ellis explains. “When Gene started the band, most of the members were his former students. We think the first concert took 14 / MARCH 2022 / TownePost.com

“One of our members attended that church and through him we made a connection,” Ellis says. “They were excited about us coming and playing, and we’ve been there ever since.”

The band is actually a nonprofit, 501(c) (3) organization, and relies on fundraising and donations to keep it afloat. The money is used to purchase music and to provide a small stipend for their band director.

As a community concert band, their instrumental makeup consists of brass, woodwind and percussion instruments only. They do not incorporate stringed

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“We play one or two concerts a year in Bardstown, and we play in Jeffersonville frequently,” Ellis says. “The furthest we’ve gone, but have not gone since before COVID, is in Orleans, Indiana. We also play in Corydon, Indiana, on a regular basis. We have played a couple of times at the Parklands, which is a new venue for us. We would enjoy playing there again.”

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“We play marches, popular music, show tunes, and some repertory that was written for concert bands,” Ellis says.

“Some of the music we play is fairly new and has been written for concert bands within the last few years. Then there are a lot of classics that are close to 100 years old. A lot of the marches that everyone loves are from the golden age from the late 19th century to the early- to mid-20th century. A lot of the things that people like to hear are the John Philip Sousa and Henry Fillmore marches, both of whom are long gone.”

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You can also find them performing at nursing homes, and they will play one concert per year at St. Matthews Baptist Church as a thank-you to church leaders for letting them rehearse there.

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“Occasionally we will play at other churches and concerts” Ellis says. “The band finds their locations in a variety of ways. Some we’ve done for years and years, and others

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are word of mouth. Somebody will call us saying they heard us play somewhere, and are interested in knowing how they can have us play for them.”

The band has had a number of great directors since Davis began the group more than 40 years ago. He served as director until 1995, and then John Hoover took over and served from 1995 until 2004. The next conductors were Rick Duggar from 2004 to 2005; Shaun Popp from 2005 to 2010; Jonathan Rohner from 2010 to 2012; Duggar

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from 2012 to 2018; and Brad Jopek from 2018 to 2021. The band chose a new music director this year, saxophonist and educator Desmond Anderson.

Anderson is a native of Louisville, having grown up in the west end on 39th Street. He attended Butler Traditional High School, and after graduation he attended Morehead State University to study music education. He says it was his dream and passion to become a band director. After graduation he returned to Louisville where he spent time teaching sectionals and private lessons.

“I was in Shelby County, I went to Spencer Middle School, and I was all over Louisville,” he explains. “I subbed and I was lucky enough to get a variety of music sub positions for JCPS and

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interview process.

New Albany/Floyd County.”

After his year of subbing, Anderson says he was fortunate to land a job as the band director at New Albany High School in Indiana. He was there for four years.

The opportunity to join the RCCB presented itself this year while Anderson was working on his master’s degree in

wind band pedagogy at the University of Louisville.

“The River Cities position opened up because Brad [ Jopek] had the opportunity to go to the University of Maryland,” Anderson says. “I actually knew Brad. We had taken a couple of classes together.”

Anderson applied and went through the

“It was really cool in my view just because it was something completely different,” he says. “It was a community, and I think that’s one of the most honestly precious things in music, when non-music majors, people who are not doing this for their livelihood, want to come and participate in music. It’s one of the biggest things I actually advocate for.”

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more diverse audiences and performing in more diverse venues,” he says. “I think it’s really important to include everyone within the community. I especially feel that way as the band out into the community on a wider a black man. You don’t see a lot of people scale. like me in music. I really want to reach out to those people in the community to say, “The direction really I want to take them is ‘I’m here, this is something we can do.’ I also reaching out past some of the venues where think it would be fun for the band, and more they’ve performed in the past - reaching encouraging to continue on the tradition of

participating in music.”

The band rehearses on Tuesday evenings at 6:45 p.m. at St. Matthews Baptist Church, located at 3515 Grandview Avenue in Louisville. Anyone can join and there is no audition process. Members must be able to read music and must have their own instrument. For additional info on the band, visit rivercitiesconcertband.org.

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SARA GETTELFINGER CHANNELS HER ARTISTIC PASSIONS Writer / Andrew Toy Photographer / Zach Burrell

Sure, the stars come out of Hollywood, California, but who’s to say there aren’t some scattered in other parts of the country? We in Louisville can claim the right to such big-names as Muhammad Ali, Jennifer Lawrence and yes, even Tom Cruise (he did live here for a time before he made his way out to the west coast to stake his claim in fame). There are also some stars who may have slipped under the radar, or who are still working to make it.

I’d like you to meet Sara Gettelfinger. Born in Louisville, she attended the Youth Performing Arts school for high school in Louisville. Her parents, thankfully, encouraged her to be well-rounded in both grades and athletics, so there was little to no strife in that regard. The arts, in fact, were always a huge part of her family’s culture. She always loved the theater and everything associated with it - music, performing, the crowds, the ambiance, the thrill of opening night for a new show.

She started dancing at the age of 2. It was in seventh grade when she realized that she wanted to pursue this full time and dedicate her life to it. After high school she enrolled in the Conservatory of Music program at the University of Cincinnati, where she graduated a couple of months early. She told her parents she was going to New York for three weeks. In those three weeks her objective was to find an apartment, an agent and a job. Could that really be done in three weeks? Hard-headed? She’ll agree with that.

Determined? Absolutely.

“I lucked out and it happened,” she says.

Sara Gettelfinger

A big question we want to ask everyone who has managed to make a career out of their art is, “Was it luck or skill?”

Sara with John Lithgow.

Photo by Craig Schwartz

“I’ve had a lot of luck in my career, but I’ve also worked very hard,” she says. “But I’m also the poster child for the harder you work, the luckier you get. It’s kind of a big motto of ours as a family.”

Within the first year of being out of school, Gettelfinger got her Equity card doing Fosse. Within six months of that she booked her own broadway show, “Seussical,” based off of the wacky and zany world of Dr. Seuss. For the following 17 years, she was consistently able to find work performing for audiences. She took a short hiatus from the theater around 2007 and 2008 to live in Los Angeles, to be in a classical crossover vocal trio to wet her toes in the record industry. That provided a different set of adventures to work with artists that astounded her, and she found it truly invigorating to be around people who she already admired. Starstruck, stunned and incredibly fortunate is how Gettelfinger felt, and she never took that experience for granted.

Enter John Lithgow from stage right into Gettelfinger’s life. Do I even have to remind you who he is? Dr. Dick Solomon from “3rd Rock from the Sun,” the hilarious Lord Farquaad from “Shrek” - you know him. Gettelfinger met Lithgow co-starring alongside him in the broadway version of “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.” Turns out that he had a separate passion in terms of working with kids and being a children’s author. This jibed with her because she has always loved kids. She would work with younger kids on the coast or fly back home to give master classes on acting. As far as “John” went - she’s on a first-name basis with the

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legendary star - it was a whole vocation. It took until later in her career to make the transition into working with and teaching kids, like being a lead teacher with preschool children.

The crossover was not only natural and obvious, but also, well, magical. Providence.

Or as Dr. Seuss might put it: fabtacular! The

change required all of Gettelfinger’s skills enthusiasm, creativity and spontaneity.

“I can honestly say that when I did decide to leave New York, I really reached a point were I was struggling personally and spiritually in terms of my health, using outside unhealthy things to cope, and just feeling this very profound feeling of, if I just

keep chasing my next credit on a resume, this is like a hole in my heart and soul that’s never going to be filled,” she says.

She found ways to be thankful. She’d been 6’ tall since she was fifteen, and as a result she’s still playing some of the same roles since back then.

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“I’m just now becoming right for them,” she says. “It’s not like I’m a 4’11’’ ingenue who’s wondering how long I can convince people I’m 25 years old. I play a lot of villains and a lot of scandalous women who are up to no good - some of those older, wonderful character roles that are going to be more in my wheelhouse now in the years to come.”

then began connecting with people who had very small children, which led her into the preschool world. Soon after, she discovered Building Kidz, a performing arts preschool.

theory, the children were learning math and division, and counting odd and even numbers. I’m astounded by kids all the time.

I often feel like kids are underestimated.”

“If I could have everything I could possibly want at a place to work, it sounded like I needed to check this out,” she says.

“What was much more terrifying for me is that while I was really very fortunate that I had never had to have another job, one of the things I remember in my years in New York is sometimes being on the subway in my cozy sweats or dance clothes going to rehearsal,” she adds. “Even though there were sacrifices and hard work, I’d never had any notion of what it was like punching a clock to make a living. My work was my oxygen. That was my biggest thing - was I ever going to have that again.”

She was astounded by the natural-light classrooms, the huge studio in the middle, and the baby version of a Shakespeare stage in the park. Having gotten certified and being a lead teacher for a while gave her the groundwork for finding her way through the state-mandated curriculum to prepare the little ones for kindergarten.

Since her time as the performing arts director at Building Kidz School, she has moved on to working with ACT Louisville Productions as the musical theater chair.

She also will be assisting Holy Trinity on their upcoming production of “The Addams Family.”

As she began to transition into coming home and looking into private coaching in terms of teaching art classes full time, she

“I was challenging myself, learning from academic or structured, scientific and psychological benchmarks as far as gross motor and emotional development - finding ways to get these staples, but discovering how we can use the arts to help with this,” she says. “By teaching early music

If you’re a creative type and can’t seem to figure out how to channel that creativity practically, look to the stars and learn how to marry your artistic self with meeting realworld needs and helping others.

Sara Gettelfinger is fortunate in many ways, but figuring that part out, well, that’s probably her most fortunate stroke of luck, if that’s what we want to call it.

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L

Jack Koppel

GRAVE ENDEAVORS INTRODUCING JACK KOPPEL, AKA THE CEMETERY MAN

Writer / Sam Dunn Photography Provided

Jack Koppel might have one of the most interesting nicknames, and hobbies, in Jefferson County. Koppel is sometimes known as the Cemetery Man, and he has been exploring and cataloguing hidden cemeteries for more than 20 years. Because of his efforts, the government has been able to save many small cemeteries from construction. Equally as impressive, his work has highlighted forgotten people and their stories, and proved that history is everywhere in Louisville, Kentucky. As he has said, “My main goal is to try and find every cemetery in Jefferson County.”

Koppel’s interest in hidden history, specifically cemeteries, started at a young age.

“When I was a kid I was always fascinated by cemeteries,” he says.

His passion for the subject grew when he lived in the historic home of Abraham Hite Jr., where he discovered an old and neglected cemetery. Koppel’s first efforts at restoration and conservation were relatively modest. He dragged brush away from the site and performed other acts of maintenance. Compared to his current efforts, these first steps were small, but they led to decades of passionate historic research and a dedication to the respectful treatment of our ancestors.

“My main goal is to show respect in some way,” he says. “There’s so much history on those stones.”

26 / MARCH 2022 / TownePost.com

Koppel’s interest in historic cemeteries grew through the years, as he discovered locations all around him. One of his earliest discoveries was purely by chance, when he discovered Eastern Cemetery in the late 1990s. As he tells it, he was on a lunch break from work when he stumbled upon the cemetery and was shocked to find that the site had not been maintained for some time. Since then, Koppel and others, like the group Friends of Eastern Cemetery, have worked to improve this site and others that have been found. Koppel’s passion for historical cemeteries, and history in general, has led him to devote several decades of his life to the search for forgotten gravesites, and he doesn’t think that the search will be over anytime soon.

“Cemeteries are just everywhere,” he says.

“There are a lot of other ones I haven’t found yet.”

The scope of Koppel’s work has expanded greatly, as have the methods that he uses to search for and protect these sites. He spends hours each day on a computer, researching old records, manuscripts and newspapers.

When he has identified a site and gotten permission to visit from the owner, he begins to clean the site and preserve the gravestones. In this respect, his processes

of preservation have also gotten more complex. He is able to identify older stones that have sunk below the surface of the ground. These are brought up, cleaned, and restored if necessary. When he is cleaning the stones, Koppel doesn’t use normal soap and water. Instead he uses a special biological solution that is specifically made for cleaning older stone and will not damage the stone or inscriptions. In fact, he uses the same solution that is used to clean the gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery.

When gravestones are broken, whether by

nature or vandalism, Koppel works to clean and reassemble the stone. Using epoxy, he is able to join the stone back together and restore the original inscription.

One of the main focuses of Koppel’s work is to not only to preserve the gravesite, but also make it easier for others to visit.

“I probably am more passionate about it because I’ve learned more over the years,” he says. “When I first started the search for these cemeteries, there were no good

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center off of Dutchmans and Breckenridge lanes might be familiar with this interesting Now, Koppel’s goal is to get a GPS location phenomenon, because there is a small historic cemetery right outside the popular for each cemetery, along with a house stores. The small plot, ringed around with number. Once he has this information, he tall shrubs, is easy to miss, but it contains passes it along to the local city and county the remains of at least five people. The government. Local government, besides saving this information in the public record, cemetery holds James and Matilda Burks, wealthy farmers from the 1800s, as well also stops harmful construction that might as several of their children. Descendants damage or completely destroy the site.

Koppel often refers to this as saving the site of the Burks decided that the cemetery should not be moved, and their decision before the bulldozer gets to it. This part of has been honored by the local government his work is especially important because more and more historic cemeteries are being and developers ever since. This small threatened by development. Koppel knows example shows a respect for the dead and of at least one cemetery that was paved over a commitment to the preservation of small but important cemeteries. Both are morals by the development of a car wash, and says that Koppel has put into practice for many that there are similar situations like that all years. over the city. When volunteers like Koppel and local government work together, they The sheer volume of Koppel’s work is can save these sites. impressive.

When these historic cemeteries are saved from demolition, they sometimes end up in “Cemeteries are just everywhere,“ he says.

“We only know of about 300 cemeteries surprising areas. Shoppers at the shopping directions on how to find them.”

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here in Jefferson County but there are probably thousands.”

Koppel has been instrumental in the discovery and preservation of many of these sites, but he is quick to give credit to others who have assisted him throughout the years. He has gotten a lot of assistance from Joe Walko, a friend from Middletown.

Walko is very knowledgeable about historic maps and deeds of ownership, and has been instrumental in the discovery of several historic cemeteries. Koppel also works with members of the local metro government, who log the cemeteries in a database and prevent new buildings from encroaching on them. Throughout the course of his work. Koppel has interacted with many members of the public, most of whom have responded well to his mission. In his own words, he has had “a lot of experiences and have met a lot of people. Most of the people have been terrific.”

Koppel continues to research and preserve

historic cemeteries, although COVID-19 has impacted his ability to go out and physically search for sites. Because of current limitations on social gatherings, he is also unable to interact with landowners or other members of the public. However, he is undeterred. He continues to research and monitor historic cemeteries, knowing that these important sites have endured crises of this magnitude before. He is also eager to talk to members of the public who are interested in his work or may have further information about historic cemeteries in their area. He is especially interested in speaking with anyone who has knowledge about a historic cemetery in Jeffersontown, near Skyview Park. Anyone who has information on this location, or any other, may reach out to Koppel using the contact information below.

“I’ll talk all day about cemeteries,” he says.

Koppel can be reached via email at ajkoppel@hotmail.com.

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LOVE TO WIN OR HATE TO LOSE BREAKING DOWN THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERFORMANCE ATTITUDES Another useful dichotomy in achievement orientation involves the distinction between approach and avoidance motivation.

Writer / Dave Schroerlucke

“Above anything else, I hate to lose.”

—Jackie Robinson Some people find the ruthless competitiveness expressed in this quote from Jackie Robinson to be appalling. Others find it refreshingly honest. In the world of elite sports, this hate-to-lose stance is far from an anomaly. Jimmy Connors, Michael Phelps, Derek Jeter and Larry Bird - to name just a few - are all on record expressing the very same sentiment.

Of course, winning and losing are opposite sides of the same coin.

They cannot occur simultaneously. In order to avoid losing, you have to win. The desire not to lose can easily be framed as a desire to win - just the other side of the coin.

For many people, the win-loss coin is not balanced in terms of each side’s motivational force and emotional impact. Some compete primarily for the elation of winning, while others are driven more by the fact that they find losing to be completely intolerable.

This article takes a closer look at the psychology behind the love of winning and hatred of losing, in an attempt to see if promoting one of these two attitudes is more optimal for performance.

APPROACH AND AVOIDANCE “A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning.”

—Billie Jean King In a previous article on achievement orientation, I distinguished between performance-oriented individuals who think success means outperforming others, and mastery-oriented individuals who see success in terms of learning new skills.

People with an approach motivational style are primarily interested in securing rewards and desirable outcomes (going to the gym to stay fit or to look good), whereas those with an avoidance motivational style mostly want to avoid punishment and undesirable outcomes (going to the gym to avoid criticism or heart disease).

The question of loving to win or hating to lose, then, can be thought of in terms of approach and avoidance motivation. Those in the love-to-win camp are approach-motivated, and the hate-to-lose folks are avoidance-motivated.

Most actions can be framed in terms of both approach and avoidance goals, and we all use both types of goals throughout our lives. However, if you have to choose one as a general tendency, is one motivational style better than the other? As we will see, it depends on what you actually mean by “better.”

LOSS-AVERSION BIAS “Losing feels worse than winning feels good.”

—Vin Scully Vin Scully’s less-than-scientific observation, based on six decades of experience watching baseball from the broadcasting booth, turned out to reflect a fundamental truth about the human condition.

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, author of “Thinking, Fast and Slow,” won the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences in 2002 for his groundbreaking work on human decision making, in which he demonstrated that humans have a powerful bias toward avoiding

30 / MARCH 2022 / TownePost.com

losses over acquiring similar gains (for example, thinking it is better not to lose $5 than to gain $5).

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DOING YOUR BEST?

In some studies, the anticipated pain of losing has been shown to be about twice as motivating as the pleasure of gaining. This collective bias toward avoiding loss is one of the reasons that incentivization programs based on punishment and penalties tend to be more effective than reward-based strategies.

“It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.”

—Coaches and parents everywhere

Despite being a great motivator, loss aversion is not without its downsides. For one, avoidance goals can be stressful, tending to be associated with negative emotions and hypervigilance to threat of loss. This can backfire when individuals adopt a defensive avoidance strategy, refusing to invest effort or altogether dodging tasks in which there is a chance of being evaluated poorly.

People who adopt an approach motivation tend to be more exploratory and risk tolerant, and report greater subjective wellbeing compared to people with avoidance motivation. For this reason, psychologists almost universally recommend approach over avoidance goals. However, as we all know, feeling better is not the same as performing better, and as Tiger Woods put it, “Winning takes care of everything.”

Perhaps it is better to avoid the win-loss trap altogether and simply focus on performing as well as you can. This is the basic idea behind the mastery orientation to achievement, which values selfimprovement over competitive aspirations.

Initially, only the performance orientation (focused on wins and losses) was subdivided according to approach and avoidance motivational styles.

Eventually researchers began to consider the possibility that mastery orientation (focused on learning) could also be split along similar lines, thereby creating a two-dimensional model of achievement orientation, with four distinct possibilities displayed in the 2x2 grid below:

Approach Avoidance

Mastery Mastery-Approach “do better than before” Mastery-Avoidance “avoid doing worse than before”

Performance Performance-Approach “do better than others” Performance-Avoidance “avoid doing worsethan others”

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Of the four possible combinations, mastery-approach appears to be associated with the most optimal set of psychological consequences (enhanced intrinsic motivation, reduced anxiety, positive emotions). This is the image of the internally-driven athlete striving for personal bests and peak performances. Strikingly, however, empirical data connecting mastery-approach goals with enhanced performance is lacking.

Mastery-avoidance is a bit of a mixed bag in that it is associated with both positive and negative psychological outcomes. While the focus on self-improvement avoids the anxiety associated with social comparison, obsessing about not making mistakes can become a source of uncomfortable anxiety that can impair performance. The picture here is of the perfectionistic athlete striving for flawlessness or the end-of-career athlete trying to stave off performance decline.

Performance-approach is also a psychological crapshoot. While the performance-based focus on winning and losing can bring ego-related anxieties and performance decrements into play, this orientation can actually be quite adaptive when there is a high degree of perceived competence and self-belief. In fact, performance-approach (aka love to win) is the only orientation to be consistently correlated with superior performance.

So what are we to make of all this? If we want to improve performance, should we love to win or hate to lose? Should we just not care about winning and losing and focus on doing our best?

It depends on what your goals are and how much confidence you have in your ability.

If you care primarily about feeling good, experiencing flow, and deriving enjoyment from your chosen craft, it’s probably best to avoid the question altogether and adopt a mastery-approach orientation in which your primary focus is on learning and constant improvement.

However, even pursuit of mastery can be a double-edged sword that can quickly become both unenjoyable and detrimental to performance if a mastery-avoidance style blurs into perfectionism and an intolerance of mistakes.

If enhancing your performance is what you are after, and you believe in your ability, the research suggests that it is best to adopt a performance-approach style, or a love-to-win attitude, in which your primary motivation is outperforming others.

Performance-avoidance appears to be the most dysfunctional of all the orientations, exposing the athlete to anxiety both from social comparison and hypersensitivity to loss. Although hating to lose is not the most psychologically pleasing attitude, it is difficult to ignore the testimony of the numerous champions who attribute their success to an inability to tolerate losing.

Finally we return to where we began - to those who, like Jackie Robinson, just can’t stand losing. Despite the fact that performanceavoidance is an unpleasant and socially isolating attitude (no one likes a poor loser), it is difficult to ignore the evidence that loss aversion is far more motivating than the thought of winning. What are we to make of all the champions who attribute their success to an inability to tolerate losing?

SUMMARY

There are never any simple answers in the mental game.

“A champion is suppose to hate to lose, and it wasn’t like I was ever crazy about the idea. But I learned to deal with losing without having my spirit or confidence broken, which would help immensely over time, not just in the big picture but even in specific matches when I found myself in a jam. Fear of losing is a terrible thing.”

—Pete Sampras

So what do you say? Love to win, hate to lose, or just do your best?

With you in the pursuit, Dr. Dave

Dr. Dave Schroerlucke

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Shear

“From West Kentucky I came to Louisville, and that’s where I did my apprenticeship,” he says.

Accomplishment

At the time apprenticeships were 18 months, and during that span of time he also held a job in the evenings. This was when Haskins says he fell in love with barbering.

MILTON HASKINS REFLECTS ON CAREER AND COMMUNITY

“Miss Ada spoiled me,” he says.

Writer / Carrie Vittitoe Photography Provided

Some people might say a good barber or stylist is even better than a therapist. When you walk out of the shop, you not only feel better, but you look like a million bucks, too.

Milton Haskins spent more than 44 years of his life in a barbershop, and even though he has been retired since 2013, he says he is still adjusting to life beyond the blade.

EARLY YEARS

Haskins spent his early years in Greensburg, Kentucky.

“I shined shoes when I was in elementary school in a white barbershop,” he says. “I grew up poor, and we didn’t have much of anything.”

For high school, Haskins attended the Lincoln Institute, an all-black boarding school in Simpsonville, Kentucky. When he’d come home, he would shine shoes and make good money.

“A shoeshine was 25 cents but nobody gave me 25 cents,” he says. “The majority of the time it was 75 cents or a dollar,” he says.

When he was a teenager, the local sheriff would have Haskins shine his shoes every other day.

“The Sheriff would tell people, ‘I love this kid. I’d rather see him in here making an honest living than in the street acting a fool and getting in trouble. I’m going to keep him working,’” Haskins says.

He fondly remembers the owner of the Although he wanted to attend college and shop, Miss Ada Kidd, taking him to a store study engineering, he couldn’t afford the to buy him clothes after he had seen items in tuition. He went to West Kentucky vocational the shop that he couldn’t afford. school and attended barber school, based on the encouragement of a friend.

A year or so after his apprenticeship ended, on October 12, 1964, at the age of 24, Haskins and a colleague, William Curry, opened up a shop together on 22nd Street called C & H Barber Shop.

“At that time it was kind of scary,” Haskins says. “I had some guidance, but a lot of it I just had to figure out on my own.”

Eventually Curry decided to open his own shop, so Haskins carried on as Haskins Barber Shop, and brought in a friend from West Kentucky to help him cut hair.

Haskins worked long days from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m., six days per week.

“During that time haircuts were cheap, and I just had to do it,” he says.

Haircuts cost $2 at the time, but when he retired he was getting $13.50 or so per haircut. Until he built up his clientele, some days would be slow. Of course, as the owner he did everything from giving haircuts to being the janitor. During this time, he was

34 / MIDDLETOWN MAGAZINE / MARCH 2022 / TownePost.com

also busy being a father of two boys and two girls. While his children didn’t take up barbering as a profession, his grandson and granddaughter did go into the field.

basketball and attempted to play but wasn’t that good.

Haskins had experience cutting hair for both white and black clients, and says when he first opened the 22nd Street shop it was a predominantly white neighborhood. No matter who his clients were, he expected and modeled respect in his business, and offered a relatability that clients appreciated.

He wanted his shop to be a place where anyone felt comfortable, and wouldn’t allow cursing or any inappropriate behavior.

As a barber for so many years, Haskins saw lots of hairstyle trends come and go.

“You could bring your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, your preacher,” Haskins says. “I didn’t have any of that nonsense.”

TRENDS IN HAIR

“When I first started, everybody was getting their hair cut close,” he says.

Eventually afros became popular among black clients, and white clients started keeping their hair longer as well.

“Barbers really had a hard time [with afros], but it helped my business,” Haskins says. “A lot of barbers didn’t want to fool with the afro so they sent them to me.”

Plus, Haskins took classes to learn how to Sports was a big topic of conversation in use chemicals on hair. the shop, in part because Haskins’ nephew was the first black basketball coach at Western Kentucky. Haskins says he followed Over time he also saw the popularity of

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paid me and then gave me the keys,” Haskins says. “He said, ‘Ride through the park and come back.’ I got in that car. I drove a block and turned around and went back. It looked like everybody in Louisville was going to hit me.” high-top fades grow among his clients, which can be a complicated hairstyle because of cutting it close on the sides, leaving it long on the top and making it even. He says he even had clients want him to cut University of Kentucky or University of Louisville designs on the sides of their heads.

Haskins’ shop brought together hair with basketball in more ways than one. He cut the hair of many Kentucky Colonels players, including Artis Gilmore, who went on to play for the Chicago Bulls. When Gilmore got a new Rolls-Royce, Haskins asked him when he would let him ride in it.

“I cut his hair and he got out of the chair,

BARBERING HONORS

Haskins was the first black person appointed to the Kentucky Board of Barbering. There was an opening that Senator Gerald Neal told him about. He applied, and was even the chairman for eight years. He and his board peers would give barbering exams and have meetings.

Eventually Haskins opened up a second shop in the east end, to be closer to home and church. He would bounce between his shops during the week. Some of his 22nd Street customers weren’t happy with this decision.

“They complained, but they followed me,” Haskins says. “I had some people that’d

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been with me just about all my career.”

He says one gentleman told him, “You can retire all you want to. If you don’t cut my hair, I’m going to come sit on your step.”

When Haskins did actually retire, he says he almost went crazy.

“I retired because I started having health problems,” he says. “If it wasn’t for that, I’d still be behind the chair. I missed my people.”

When the weather is nice, he spends time in his yard or garage. He says both his wife and oldest son always ask what he does out there.

“Sometimes I’m just sitting there listening to music,” he says.

The music often takes him back to the days when he stood with his clippers in hand, making a client look and feel a little better.

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