Brownsburg Magazine January 2023

Dream Maker

BROWNSBURG YOUNG AUTHOR DOREEN KWOK INSPIRES OTHERS TO PURSUE THEIR DREAMS

KEEP MOVING

Hendricks County Woman Named 2023 Indy Mini-Marathon Ambassador A DAY OF HOPE, A DAY OF HEALING

ISOSLD Helps Those Who Have Lost a Loved One to Suicide

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A DAY OF HOPE, A DAY OF HEALING

KEEP MOVING

Hendricks County Woman Named 2023 Indy Mini-Marathon Ambassador

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WHAT TO EXPECT AS A FIRST-TIME MOM

TIPS FOR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

ISOSLD Helps Those Who Have Lost a Loved One to Suicide

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DREAM MAKER

Brownsburg Young Author Doreen Kwok Inspires Others to Pursue Their Dreams

KEY CONTRIBUTORS AMY PAYNE / CHRISTY HEITGER-EWING STANLEY HEWSON / DR. TRAVIS RICHARDSON

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Community Liaisons, Natalie Philips & Sarah Orosco

FIREFLY CHILDREN AND FAMILY ALLIANCE PROVIDES VALUABLE PROGRAMS AND SERVICES Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided

Firefly Children and Family Alliance is the largest child-abuse prevention provider in central Indiana. Through one of their many programs, called Community Partners for Child Safety (CPCS), they offer safe-sleep workshops and car-seat

safety programs. They also help people locate transportation services, find employment and access community resources. Plus, they can help individuals learn how to set a budget, seek mentalhealth services and increase their knowledge of parenting skills.

“It’s all about keeping children safe,” says

Ben Abels, a director at Firefly.

One major misconception about Firefly is that the CPCS program does what the Department of Child Services does.

“Actually, it’s exactly the opposite,” Abels says. “We do everything we can to keep kids safe and in the home.”

6 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / JANUARY 2023 / TownePost.com

Firefly (formerly Children’s Bureau) merged about a year ago with a company called Families First, based out of Indy.

Through the years, Children’s Bureau and Families First helped shape human services in central Indiana, as they were two of Indiana’s most established nonprofits, with roots dating back more than 185 years.

Uniting as one organization enables the entities to share resources and expertise, thereby creating a greater impact in order to better serve the community.

It’s divided into seven regions that serve Indiana counties. Abels is the director of Region 9, which covers Hendricks, Boone, Montgomery, Putnam, Morgan and Henry counties.

The organization works with almost anyone. The only two factors that exclude participation are if someone has no child in their home from 0 to 17 years of age, or if someone has a child on probation.

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Prevent Child Abuse event in Danville

“I’ve never known any program like this,” Abels says. “There’s not a lot that we can’t do.”

For instance, they have paid for kids’ summer camps. They have also helped to find tutoring for students. It depends on the family’s needs.

“If we have a family who is struggling with paying their utility bill or has some kind of need, we will ask our community partners like Family Promise, Hendricks County Community Foundation, or area churches to help,” Abels says. “Our partners are a big help. We have really relied on them.”

Firefly deals with a lot of guardianship cases in which a parent gets arrested, and goes to jail or rehab. Rather than letting a child get thrown into the legal system, Firefly’s CPCS program members step in to petition the court for guardianship, so the grandparents can care for their grandchildren.

“We’ve had some really successful guardianship cases,” Abels says. “We have also had a lot of success stories that have to do with helping people establish housing after leaving a domestic-violence shelter.”

Currently, Firefly offers several classes touching on topics including parenting (kinship) and domestic violence. In the future they may offer some tutoring options as well.

“The kinship classes are so great because we have a lot of grandparents raising grandkids right now,” Abels says. “Many struggle with how to safely navigate the internet. They also aren’t up to date on the lingo in social media, so we talk about trends.”

In December Firefly organizes Hope for the Holidays, which involves a virtual Christmas tree. Liaisons meet with their client families to learn what their children are interested in with regard to books, clothes and games. Immediately following Black Friday, Hope for the Holidays goes live and people can click on a tree and sponsor a family.

“Folks can buy gifts for the family and drop them off at our office during the first two weeks in December,” Abels says.

“Everything is bagged up and delivered the week before Christmas.”

Firefly gets referrals from schools, community centers, hospitals, doctors, churches and other organizations. Once Abels receives a referral, he assigns a case manager who will then come out and meet one-on-one with the person to create goals. Those goals can be expansive. Sometimes referrals are given for people who are facing an eviction and need to find housing.

Someone may need to find employment, get food stamps, figure out Medicaid or seek mental-health counseling. This voluntary case counseling lasts between 8 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / JANUARY 2023 / TownePost.com

one and three months, but in some cases, only one meeting may occur.

Statistics tell the story, as 99% of families who have received services within the CPCS program have no reports of abuse or neglect for 12 months following the close of service.

“There really is no reason not to sign up because the program is totally free, regardless of how much money you make,” Abels says. “We just care about keeping kids safe.”

If you would like to donate items to Firefly, feel free to drop off new or gently used clothing, winter coats, diapers, toys, baby wipes, and other baby safety items.

To make a monetary donation, and for more information, visit fireflyin.org.

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Linda with Blue & fellow runner

KEEP MOVING HENDRICKS COUNTY WOMAN NAMED 2023 INDY MINI-MARATHON AMBASSADOR Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided

She developed diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, tendonitis, and gout.

All these ailments added up to her taking eight different medications. Linda, a pharmacist at Indiana University Health, knew better and wanted to do better.

Linda McElhiney was never heavy as a kid or young adult. It wasn’t until she began taking fertility drugs when she was 30 that the pounds started to creep on. Then, after giving birth to her son, Steven, the “Here I am telling people to get healthy weight didn’t come off. She remained and I’m not taking care of myself,” she between 220 and 240 pounds until her says. One day, she was at a pharmacy mother got sick in 2011. conference and was seated beside a man who told her he had undergone weight “That’s when everything imploded,” loss surgery. He went from 450 pounds to Linda says, a Hendricks County resident.

180 pounds. Linda began researching the “The stress of all that really took a toll on differences between gastric bypass and my health.” gastric sleeve surgery. The gastric sleeve is a relatively new procedure that didn’t start JANUARY 2023

taking off until 2006.

Both surgeries reduce the patient’s stomach from its regular size to a small pouch. In a gastric bypass, doctors make a little pouch out of the patient’s stomach, leaving the stomach in that is not attached and then rerouting that pouch lower in the intestine. In gastric sleeve surgery, the surgeon permanently removes 80% of a patient’s stomach.

Prior to having surgery, most insurance companies will require the patient to attend seminars, support groups and counseling sessions. They also must commit to dieting for six months and are usually required to lose a certain amount of weight to safely endure the surgery.

Linda was told to get her A1C down to an eight prior to surgery.

“Once insurance approves the surgery, you can’t gain weight,” Linda says. “It’s a test to see if you’ll stick with a healthier lifestyle.”

Linda, now 61, had gastric sleeve surgery in 2015. She dropped weight quickly post-surgery, losing 70 pounds in the first six months. It took a year to lose another 30 pounds. In total, she shed 120 pounds, going from a size 2XL to a size 8.

BEFORE

AFTER

Initially following surgery, Linda participated in water aerobics to get in daily exercise as that was easier on her joints.

She was making great strides finding her groove with a regular exercise routine until tragedy struck in November 2018 when her 29-year-old son, Daniel, died by suicide. The heartbreak rocked her world and, for a time, broke her spirit.

“I quit tracking everything, quit going to the gym and gained back ten pounds,” Linda says.

Though she was mired in grief, she knew she had to get her health back on track,

so she decided to engage in the ‘year in miles’ challenge. In 2019, she committed to walking 2,019 miles between January 1 and December 31. To help her reach her goal, she downloaded an app called RunSignUp to help her find weekend races in the area. For instance, she did the

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She also began participating in other fundraising walks like ASMBS Walk from Obesity and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Out of

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the Darkness walks. She registered for fun, themed races like wine tasting or costume runs. Before long, she was participating in 5Ks, 10Ks and other races every weekend.

During the week, Linda typically walks two miles before work, 30 minutes during her lunch break and then if she’s not met her step goal by the time she gets off work, she’ll walk at the park in the evenings.

“I try to do 7.5 miles a day, Monday through Friday,” she says.

The first mini-marathon Linda ever did was at Purdue University, which was a hilly route.

“I thought it was going to be fun, but it turned on out to be really hard,” Linda says, who came in dead last. “It was so embarrassing. Here’s the policeman following behind me on his motorcycle.

But I finished! And people were still clapping for me!”

The experience didn’t deter her from signing up for other minis—like the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon, which she has now done twice virtually and once live. She’ll participate again in person this May. “The first time I did it I was amazed,” Linda says. “There were people all along the route cheering the whole 13.1 miles!”

This year, Linda has been chosen to be one of the 2023 Indy Mini-Marathon Ambassadors. She was selected not only for having shed 120 pounds, but also for participating in walking challenges and races since 2019. She estimates that she’s completed more than 100 races in the past four years. Though she usually signs up to do them solo, she has gotten to know others who regularly participate in these weekend races.

She’s motivated to continue to remain active because when she’s moving, she feels better.

“Since working out more, I’m starting JANUARY 2023

to do daring things I never would have done before,” she says. This includes indoor skydiving, ziplining, and taking a raft volcano exploration in Alaska. Her confidence has also been boosted ever since she’s dropped weight. She became president of the International Pharmacy Organization and she’s spoken at the Purdue AFSP Out of Darkness walk in April of 2022.

“I’ve become more outspoken and outgoing,” she says.

She has, however, been taken aback by how differently she’s been treated since losing weight.

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“When you’re heavy, you’re often ignored,” Linda says. “But when I started losing weight and would walk into a clothing store, salespeople engaged with me a lot more.

Or when walking down the aisle of a plane, when I was heavy, other passengers looked at me like, ‘Please don’t sit next to me.’ Now I don’t get that look anymore.”

Linda estimates that it takes roughly 18 months to two years to figure out what you can’t eat following gastric surgery.

For her, she can’t tolerate potatoes, bread, rice, pop or pasta. If she consumes those things, she feels awful.

“If I eat too much sugar or too much fat, it’s like a mixture of food poisoning and an anxiety attack. I’m sick and sweating,” Linda says.

The best advice she would give to others looking to lose weight and keep it off is to track everything—especially what you’re eating and how much you’re exercising.

“When I’m starting to stray, I can see why,” she says.

To register for the Indy Mini-Marathon, visit indymini.com. People who register can receive a $7 discount if they enter McElhiney23 into the promotion box.

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Tips for New Year’s Resolutions

Writer / Stanley Hewson Photography Provided

It’s resolution time. It’s the time of year when we look to better ourselves. The attempt to better oneself is a worthwhile pursuit.

People make these attempts through myriad ways. One of those ways is the well-known New Year’s resolution. Is there something magical about making a decision to better yourself on January 1, compared to any

other time of the year? Probably not, but the symbolism behind it may provide a little something extra to help you succeed with your goals.

Regardless of what your resolution may be for 2023, it’s important to realize that there are certain things you can do to increase the probability of success. Maybe your resolution is wanting to eat better, or maybe it is to exercise more often. Maybe it’s

specific to relationships. Maybe you want to be a better friend or parent. Maybe you’d like to learn a new skill, or some other bit of knowledge that will help you live your life in a more productive and meaningful way.

Maybe it’s just a resolution to spend your time more wisely by watching less TV, and to spend more time with friends, more time outdoors, more time reading, and more time doing things that aren’t just an attempt to numb and distract yourself.

WHATEVER YOUR RESOLUTION MAY BE FOR THE COMING YEAR, HERE ARE A FEW SUGGESTIONS AND TIPS TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE THOSE GOALS: SET REALISTIC GOALS.

BE HERE NOW.

Micro-goals that lead to your big goal. If your focus is on a goal that is too big, you’re more likely to give up.

However, if you have a series of micro-goals leading up to a bigger goal, then your likelihood of persevering increases. You’ll eventually reach the big goal by focusing on all the small goals in between. Figure out what those stepping stones for your resolution are and focus on one at a time.

Reside in the present more often. Stop dwelling on past failures. Stop obsessing over how far you have to go.

Make a conscious effort every day to be in the present moment, and meditate daily on what your objective is for that specific day. Don’t lose sight of why you made the resolution to begin with.

STAY POSITIVE. A negative mindset can derail even the most successful people. Be grateful for all the things you have, and for all the opportunities you have. Make the best of every situation as you move forward in the progress towards the achievement of your resolution.

DEVELOP EXTERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY through a friend or family member.

STRENGTHEN YOUR INTERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY, OR GRIT. Grit is the biggest determining factor for whether you will succeed in your goals. Take steps to learn how to strengthen and develop grit.

BE ACTIVE, BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. With more activity comes more focus and more energy.

Move your body and engage your mind. In turn, you’ll be better equipped to reach your goals.

Good luck in 2023. You’ve got this!

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What to Expect as a First-Time Mom Writer/ Dr. Travis Richardson, OB/GYN at IU Health West Hospital Photography Provided

The joys and excitement of a new pregnancy and becoming a new mom can lead to lots of questions.

Having a supportive doctor and care team can help alleviate stress. Here are a few things to expect as a firsttime mom and how your care team can assist you.

Know what to expect from your care team Your care team can help you through this exciting time of unknowns, so it is important to talk to them about any questions you may have. Throughout your pregnancy journey, you can count on them to provide aroundthe-clock care. Your care team during pregnancy may consist of an OB/GYN, childbirth and lactation educators, maternal fetal medicine specialists, nurse practitioners and ultrasound technicians.

Include your care team in pregnancy planning You should start taking a daily prenatal vitamin before attempting to conceive. If you are planning to become pregnant but are not yet expecting, your care team may suggest a prepregnancy exam to help you be as healthy as possible before conception. During this exam, your care team will look at your overall health and can also note possible risk factors that may complicate your pregnancy.

Expect care throughout pregnancy Once you are pregnant, prenatal visits are checkups to watch your baby’s growth and development. Your care team will help you learn about proper eating habits, exercise, weight gain and other factors. They will also test for and treat any complications that may arise. Pregnancy ultrasound is a test that uses sound waves to create an image of your baby in the uterus. An ultrasound does not use radiation and is completely safe.

Childbirth can be one of the most meaningful times in life not only for parents, but for extended family and friends as well. To help prepare for this experience, ask your care team about childbirth programs and offerings designed to educate and enlighten those waiting to welcome new life into the world.

JANUARY 2023

AFSP team who coordinated the recent ISOSLD event in Indianapolis

exchange of that ‘knowing’ that can begin to dismantle the isolation, shame and guilt.”

Turo-Shields spoke about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a therapy that helps the brain process memories and reduce negative feelings about the memories. Alli Louthain, founder of Isha Warriors, an online yoga community for teens, talked about the healing benefits of yoga during the grief journey.

“The body benefits from movement and the mind from stillness,” Louthain says.

“Yoga provides a physical space to process past trauma, let go of toxic thoughts and create wholeness—body, mind and soul.”

Brandon Puszkiewicz, Indiana Programs Manager for AFSP, says that when someone dies by suicide, there’s so much emphasis on the individual who died.

A DAY OF HOPE, A DAY OF HEALING

ISOSLD HELPS THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided

Grief is a difficult journey no matter how and when you face it. But grieving following a suicide loss is deemed ‘complicated grief ’ because there’s so much guilt, shame and hurt wrapped up in the death. This is why the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) supports the annual International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (ISOSLD).

It’s a day where suicide loss survivors gather at local events throughout the world to find connection, understanding and hope through their shared experience.

AFSP hosted ISOSLD on November 19.

The day involved a combination of panel discussions, breakout groups and support groups.

“For those who are impacted by the shame and guilt of suicide death, which is often so isolating, coming together and looking into the eyes of another who knows the depth of pain you’ve experienced is like none other,” Christine Turo-Shields says, co-owner of the Kenosis Counseling Center. “To know that they know allows for healing on such a deep level without saying a word. It’s an

“What society tends to forget is that there are people left feeling a range of emotions, including guilt, anger, depression, confusion and sadness due to the sudden loss of their loved one,” Puszkiewicz says. “ISOSLD provides an opportunity for discussion, connection, and internal and external exploration to create a new perspective and way of thinking. For many, it’s the start of their healing journey.”

Such was the case for Teresa Youngen, who has attended ISOLSD three times since her son, Matthew, died in 2017.

“Last year we heard from a young man who assured the survivors that it wasn’t their fault. I so appreciated his words,” Youngen says, who likes the breakout sessions that are divided based on your particular loss (loss of a child, spouse, parent, sibling). “I like the share groups because you don’t have to edit, filter, or pretend anything. This year there was a couple who have been grieving for ten years. The husband had been holding back tears for some time, but the dam broke, and he wept openly.”

TOWNEPOST.COM / JANUARY 2023 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / 17

Turo-Shields notes that grief isn’t linear but rather elliptical in nature.

It’s like a spiral where you touch the grief repeatedly. When you have these touchpoints, you may feel like you’ve made no progress in the grief journey, but this is part of the healing.

“You’re never back where you started.

You’re always at a deeper level,” TuroShields says, who recommends the book “The Unique Grief of Suicide” by Tom Smith.

Puszkiewicz hopes that individuals walk away from ISOLSD with a sense of relief and not feeling the weight of guilt they’ve been carrying.

“People tend to feel so alone in this journey,” Puszkiewicz says. “But the community that’s been impacted by suicide can offer some help or encouragement for those that are just

getting started on this healing journey.”

Amy Alt helped organize the ISOLSD this year.

“This day is important for survivors because it connects you with others who have experienced the same kind of loss,” Alt says, whose brother, Rex, died by suicide. “That may not seem important to someone on the outside looking in.

However, to a person who lost someone to suicide, it’s vital to begin the healing.”

ISOLSD offers several valuable resources, including literature and support group information.

“After my first survivor day, I left with hope and the realization that I wasn’t alone in this,” Alt says. “I knew my grief wouldn’t go away, but now I had some tools and other people to help me walk through it.”

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Dream Maker BROWNSBURG YOUNG AUTHOR DOREEN KWOK INSPIRES OTHERS TO PURSUE THEIR DREAMS Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photographer / Amy Payne

In many ways, Doreen Kwok is like countless other 7-year-old girls. She likes ice cream, swimming, arts and crafts, and the color turquoise. But if you ask her what excites her the most, her response may surprise you.

“Dreams excite me,” says Kwok, a young author who began penning creative stories two years ago to make her voice heard. She uses her dreams and vivid imagination to invent these stories, which she captures on paper to share with others. To date, she’s written roughly 30 children’s books, each of which entertain but also offer a takeaway message. For instance, in her book “The Person With No Body,” the main character is mocked for lacking a body.

She writes, “Sometimes his head is in Ohio, arms/hands in Texas, legs/feet in Maine…but he has all five senses.”

The reader is reminded how we tend to take for granted our sense of smell, sight, hearing, touch and taste, when we should appreciate what we have and uncover the hidden beauty in hard times. In her follow-up book, “The Person With No Head,” everyone laughs at the headless

character except for empathetic Polly, who gently tries to glue a head onto the person. The moral of this story is that the smallest acts of kindness can have a giant impact on the lives of those with whom we interact, and one good act can multiply into many more by creating an influential ripple effect.

“I really like creating things,” Kwok says.

“I have lots of ideas for books.”

She comes up with ideas simply by living life.

“Things happen in daily life conversations with other people, books

I read, TV shows I watch - it all gives me story ideas,” Kwok says. Her new book, “Animal Kingdom War: Doggy Fight,” was inspired by the “Who Would Win” books and the television show “Survivor.”

In 2020, Kwok took an 18-hour flight across the Pacific Ocean to immigrate from Hong Kong to the U.S. with her parents, Vikey Chen and Ming Kwok.

She was 4 years old at the time. Her native language is Cantonese, so when she moved to Brownsburg, she could not fully understand what people said, nor could she fully express herself in English. But she has an inquisitive, open mind, and always seeks opportunities to

TOWNEPOST.COM / JANUARY 2023 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / 19

Doreen & Family

chat with people at playgrounds, parks, grocery stores, restaurants, swimming pools - you name it.

“We stop asking questions as grownups,” Chen says. “We think we know it all and we cling to our beliefs. From an early age, Doreen has asked lots of questions.

She learned how the eyes work from an ophthalmologist in an eye exam.

She understood how to develop a new product from a startup founder in a trade show. She heard stories about money management from a financial advisor at the pool deck. She sparks interesting discussions and exchange of ideas with people from all walks of life.”

She also asks questions of her peers - like asking about working on a book together.

She’s done five collaborations with different classmates, often inviting them to illustrate her books. Last year Kwok received the Tiny Teacher award at school for her kindness, patience and excellence in helping others. Not surprisingly, she aspires to become a teacher one day.

After reading her stories to classmates, her teacher thanked her for being a source of inspiration for other kids to tap into their creativity.

“She realized her vim and vigor can motivate others to create, and to enjoy writing and reading,” Chen says.

“Therefore, she told us why not let more people know about her books by selling them at the Brownsburg Farmers Market and on Amazon?”

The farmers market was a huge success.

People shook hands with the young author and congratulated her on spreading inspiration and joy. When an elderly patron told her that she was going to share Kwok’s stories with her grandkids, and that she hoped it would encourage them to write, Kwok replied, “Not necessary writing.

[They] can try whatever [they] want!”

Not only did Kwok’s books sell well at the Farmers Market, but she also became an honorable member of the Greater 20 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / JANUARY 2023 / TownePost.com

Brownsburg Chamber of Commerce, whose members wanted to celebrate her entrepreneurial spirit.

“To be an immigrant child in an environment of new language and cultures means growing up faster,” says Chen, who credits the nurturing Brownsburgbschool e ster esystem as well asWthe ebster e u uplifting W Hendricks County community q i n niqu Techher idaughter with helping flourish. Tech ied tif ed

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Kwok is currently working on “Birdy Fight” in her “Animal Kingdom War” series as well as a book of jokes and riddles.

Besides writing, she has become a big advocate in encouraging others to dream

big because, after all, dreams excite her.

seekers motivating each other.”

“By encouraging others to pursue their dreams, I meet other dream seekers,” Kwok says. “They will motivate me to keep going as well. Our community becomes a better place with more dream

Speaking of dreams, one of Chen’s favorite maxims from Kwok is, “What if life is just a dream? You never know unless you open your eyes again.”

DOREEN KWOK’S CREATIONS • “Penny the Penguin” series (“Penny Builds a House,” “Penny Goes to the Halloween Party,” “Penny Has a Baby,” “Penny Makes a Book,” “Penny’s Baby Sister”) • “Holidays of the Year” • “The Person With No Body” • “The Person With No Head” • “Go Sketching!”

• “Washington, D.C.” • “9 ways to make 10” • “Cats and Kittens” • “Make a Snowman” • “The Letter to My Future Self” • “The Bear Family: The New Baby” • “The Artist Becomes a Writer”

22 / BROWNSBURG MAGAZINE / JANUARY 2023 / TownePost.com

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