Avon Magazine November 2019

NOVEMBER 2019

MAGAZINE

Town of Avon Makes Improvements to Roads, Trails & Parks

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NOVEMBER WRITERS

Christy Heitger-Ewing Claire-Anne Aikman / Jamie Hergott Chase Cotton / Abigail Hake

NOVEMBER PHOTOGRAPHERS

AVE THE WAY: TOWN OF AVON MAKES IMPROVEMENTS TO P ROADS, TRAILS & PARKS

Through the years, Avon has engaged in numerous infrastructure improvements that have paved the way to improve the quality of life in the community. “That’s what helps with economic development — making the community as attractive as possible,” says Tom Klein, Avon Town Manager.

Amy Payne / KelGrand Photography

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7 Pave The Way: Town of Avon Makes 25 The Courage to Leave: One Improvements to Roads, Trails & Parks

12 Business Spotlight: Assurance Restoration & Remodeling

14 Big Joe On the Radio: Former

Colts Player Joe Staysniak Talks

Family, Football & Life on the Airwaves

18 Ride of a Lifetime: Hendricks

County Students Represent Team USA In BMX World Championships

22 IU Health West Hospital Growing to

Meet Community Needs

Woman’s Journey to Freedom & Fulfillment After Escaping Domestic Abuse

31 Crossword 32 5 Ways to Prevent Getting the Flu

This Year: Hendricks County Public Health Officials Encourage Residents to Prepare For Flu Season

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Town of Avon Makes Improvements to Roads, Trails & Parks Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photographer / Amy Payne

Through the years, Avon has engaged in numerous infrastructure improvements that have paved the way to improve the quality of life in the community.

“That’s what helps with economic development — making the community as attractive as possible,” says Tom Klein, Avon Town Manager.

Doing so involves improving mobility and connectivity. One of the big road projects was the $12M Ronald Reagan reconstruction.

“The council expedited the widening from US 36 to CR 300 North, which was a cool partnership between the Town of Avon, the county and the Town of Brownsburg,” says

Ryan Cannon, Assistant Town Manager for Avon who notes that a lot of people may not recognize the work that was involved because it coincided with Brownsburg’s piece of Reagan. Had Avon not expedited the project, however, it would have been an hourglass effect with only a single lane through Avon while Plainfield had four lanes and Brownsburg four.

to get [SR 267] relinquished, we built it in three years.”

Another wonderful improvement, both for motorists and pedestrians, was erecting the Avon Avenue bridge over the CSX tracks—a $15M project that was made possible when the state relinquished what was SR 267 to Avon, Brownsburg and the county, which allowed Avon to secure the funding.

This summer the town also finished constructing a roundabout at 150 South and Avon Avenue, 90% of which was federally funded since it was a safety project.

“It had been planned for at least 15 years and never got done,” Klein says. “But once the Town was able to work with INDOT AvonMagazine.com / NOVEMBER 2019 / AVON MAGAZINE / 7

“CSX and US 36 divide our community for pedestrians,” Cannon says. “So, when we built that bridge with a sidewalk, that was a game-changer as it enabled us to connect people from the north and south sides of town.”

“There were a lot of serious accidents when the traffic light was there,” says Cannon, who advocates for roundabouts since it has been proven that they reduce the number of fatal accidents. “They operate better than traffic signals because they are selfregulating.”

There are 16 roundabouts within the Washington Township boundaries.

The 100 South between Dan Jones and Ronald Reagan Parkway project is a partnership between the Town of Avon, Town of Plainfield and Hendricks County. It will include three roundabouts and be widened to four lanes.

“It will have an east-flanking roundabout, a roundabout at 900 East and 100 South and a west-flanking roundabout,” Cannon says. “From the west-flanking roundabout to Ronald Reagan, it will be four lanes.”

With this $18M project, the Town is getting close to $120-130M in investment for infrastructure. And that’s for a community of 20,000 people.

“We’re not aware of any other community of this size in Indiana that has invested that much money in infrastructure,” Klein says.

“A common theme on a lot of our improvements have been that we have collaborated with other agencies, which is the most efficient use of tax dollars,” Cannon says. In fact, the town has won three collaboration awards. “Working together accomplishes projects that benefit everyone.”

Avon’s trail systems are another way that makes the community hugely attractive, and the Town has been working to grow them in recent years.

“When we do these improvements, we will continue so that eventually pedestrians can get from the Reagan trail system to the Town Hall trail,” Klein says. “And our park is now connected to Washington Township Park trail right by the Avon Softball Park, allowing people to walk or bike from here to there.”

Klein notes that while some of the trails are in Washington Township Park, they are maintained by the Town of Avon since the Town built them using federal trail funds.

The White Lick Creek Trail was designed

to give pedestrians a scenic north-south trail that follows the creek. Extending from CR 100 South to CR 100 North, it’s been built in sections. Eventually, it will connect the Plainfield Recreation Center to Williams Park in Brownsburg by way of Washington Township Park.

In addition, the Town of Avon and Avon Schools are working together to improve the easement road leading to the Avon Intermediate Schools (across from McDonald’s). According to Klein, the plan is for the Town to take ownership of the road in return for right-of-way that will eventually allow the Town to extend the trail network and connect Town Hall Park with Avon Avenue.

“We’re activating this area from Dan Jones to White Lick Creek with these trail systems with the Town Hall being the nexus of all that,” Klein says.

Next year they have plans to add a restroom to the Town Hall Park by the back of the playground. In addition, the Town is developing a master plan for Winton Meadows Park and is updating the master plan for Town Hall Park. Plus, the Town of Avon owns 20 acres of land for future parks at the northeast corner of Dan Jones and 100 South, across the street from Pine Tree Elementary and World War II Memorial Park. This land is going to connect to Burnett Woods, an 80acre nature preserve owned by the Central Indiana Land Trust.

Future plans for these parks will move forward once the Town receives public input on the proposed master plan. Klein notes that many community members may not be aware that there are 30 parks and AvonMagazine.com / NOVEMBER 2019 / AVON MAGAZINE / 9

5 golf courses located within 7 miles of Avon Avenue and US 36.

“Due to our central location, we have a benefit that some other communities don’t,” he says. “People can access amenities all around us that are parks, business and retail-related.”

Speaking of amenities, the Town has been deliberate about the kind they include in their parks.

“Anyone can do a basketball court, but Avon Town Hall Park was the first park in the state to install outdoor table tennis,” Klein says. “We also have a bocce ball court, a radio-control race car track, and an 18-hole disc golf course.”

The Town of Avon team looks forward to continuing to serve and strengthen our beautiful community.

On the Move: Trails in Avon

Bicentennial Trail (½ mile within Avon, 1 mile total) Ronald Reagan Parkway Trail (7 miles in Avon) Town Hall Park Trail (2 miles) Avon Avenue Trail (¾ mile) Oaks of Avon Trail (1 mile) White Lick Creek Trail (2.3 miles) Town Hall Park-Washington Township Park Trail (.4 mile) Burnett Woods (1.5 miles) CR 100 North Trail (½ mile) CR 100 South Trail (1 mile)

AvonMagazine.com / NOVEMBER 2019 / AVON MAGAZINE / 11

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For 13 years, Brandon Adams was proud to serve as a Hendricks County Sheriff’s Deputy. After being involved in a serious car accident while on duty, however, he was forced to retire from the job he loved. Thankfully, he had a second career waiting in the wings — one he had been training for since he was 13 years old.

“In junior high, I started working during the summer as an apprentice framing houses and doing trim work,” Adams says.

With so much construction experience under his belt, it was the perfect career to transition into full-time following his retirement from law enforcement. In June 2019, he opened Assurance Restoration & Remodeling with his wife Heather.

remodels because they provide a blank canvas from which to work.

“The sky’s the limit on what you can do as far as adding bedrooms, wet bars or man caves,” he says. “Homeowners can get really creative.”

Adams doesn’t mind taking on the more difficult projects. For instance, he recently finished a job in which he was the sixth contractor who was called. The client ultimately hired him because he trusted Adams would get the job done properly.

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“If people have storm damage or need insurance work done, we come in and take care of all that for them,” explains Adams, noting that his clients appreciate how seamlessly he works with insurance companies.

When it comes to separating the ordinary from the extraordinary, it always boils down to trust. When Jim Crismore called Assurance Restoration and Remodeling to ask if Adams could repair his roof damage, Adams came out the very next day.

“Insurance claims can be complicated if people don’t know the verbiage,” Adams adds. “I work with the insurance company instead of against them — making sure everyone involved is on the same page.”

“I called Brandon on Saturday and my new roof [was] finished on Thursday,” Crismore says. “Quality work, excellent service and friendly, knowledgeable, professional staff. What more could you ask for?”

Adams provides prompt, professional service by making himself accessible to his clients at all times.

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Former Colts Player Joe Staysniak Talks Family, Football & Life On the Airwaves Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photographer / Amy Payne

Though he stood 6' 5" and weighed 240 lbs. by the end of his freshman year of high school, Joe Staysniak says playing pro football was never on his radar.

athletically in swimming, football and volleyball. In fact, four of the five kids received a college scholarship.

“Our whole family started swimming at a young age,” Staysniak says. “On weekends, we were up at three in the morning to travel to all-day swim meets. We didn’t have big, fancy vacations together. We had swim meets.”

San Diego Chargers (1990), the Buffalo Bills (1991), Kansas City Chiefs (1992), the Indianapolis Colts (1992-1995), the Green Bay Packers (1996) and the Arizona Cardinals (1996).

Staysniak has fond memories of playing with the Colts due to the camaraderie “I recognized the small percentage of kids he built with his teammates. They who make it at a professional level so I bonded over intense workouts in the never saw that dream on the horizon,” says weight room and taking the field during Staysniak, who grew up the middle child Though he adored basketball, football crazy snowstorms or blinding rain. in a family with four siblings. His mom, a seemed a better fit for his physique and And, of course, there was the 1995 AFC school teacher, and his dad, a police officer, once he set his mind to playing, his only Championship game against the Steelers instilled in their children the importance of goal was to be offered a college scholarship. with Jim Harbaugh as quarterback where maintaining a good work ethic.

Ultimately, he landed one with Ohio the Colts came close to winning, which State, starting all four years as an offensive would have advanced them to the Super “They were both incredibly hard workers, lineman. He was part of the 1986-87 Ohio Bowl. But it’s the everyday things that and we all wanted to make them proud,” Staysniak treasures most.

State Big Ten championship team that Staysniak says. defeated Texas A&M in the Cotton Bowl “Honestly, some of my favorite memories Classic.

That they did. He and his brothers and involve lunchtime, just before going out sisters all thrived academically and to practice,” says Staysniak with a chuckle.

During his NFL career, he played for the NOVEMBER 2019

“The guys would sit around the equipment room watching the financial channel and discussing stocks.”

In 1994, sportscaster Bob Lamey invited Staysniak to join him every Monday morning to talk about the game.

“I said, ‘I’m just a no-name offensive lineman. Why me?’” Staysniak recalls.

“Because you’re trustworthy and I can depend on you to show up every Monday at 7 a.m.,” Lamey told him.

“I ended up having a lot of fun doing it,” says Staysniak, who parlayed the gig into a 25-year radio career. He’s now a weekday morning sports radio talk show host for WIBC and WFNI in Indianapolis. You can hear him between 7-10 a.m. on 1070 the Fan and 93.5 FM on “The Jeff & Big Joe Show.”

“Getting up at 4:30 a.m. isn’t easy, but it leaves afternoons open to spend with my kids,” Staysniak says.

He likes the variety of topics he and his cohost, Jeff Rickard, cover.

“No day is ever the same, and you never know how it’s going to unfold,” he says.

In interviews, he likes when they hit on issues that spark conversation — like social justice or topics that make people uncomfortable.

“You wouldn’t think that sitting behind a microphone jabbering about sports would make a difference but it does,” Staysniak says. “It gives people a release from everyday problems and provides a forum to talk that’s not political.”

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As for today’s generation of entitled athletes who seek fame and fortune above all else, Staysniak has no patience for them. He gets perturbed with guys like running back Ezekiel Elliott, who wanted to break his contract due to money disputes.

them and signing million-dollar contracts as unproven rookies,” Staysniak says. “But now they are right back to paying gobs of money for high-profile positions like that.

At some point, there’s not going to be any more money to go around.”

“Being greedy and wanting more money before your time comes takes away from somebody else,” Staysniak says. “I have a problem with that.”

Another topic Staysniak feels passionate about is parents behaving badly.

And running back Melvin Gordan claiming that he wasn’t getting paid enough makes Staysniak roll his eyes in disgust.

“I have a hard time crying that $5.6M isn’t enough for you to play a kids game for half a year,” Staysniak says.

He notes that while some owners are more willing to pay out the money than others, that doesn’t make it right.

“They went to a salary cap to save themselves because they were spending so much money on quarterbacks, drafting

“Parents are screwing up high school athletics because they feel they can yell and scream and be jerks at games,” he says.

Officials are dropping like flies as hotheaded parents hurl insults at the field or on the court in every sport — basketball, football, wrestling, etc.

“Refs are dwindling, and if you don’t have refs, you don’t have games,” says Staysniak, who suggested to Bobby Cox, commissioner of the IHSAA (Indiana High School Athletics Association), that any parent who is thrown out of a game should be forced to enroll in the referee course.

“At the very least, they’d learn something and appreciate what the officials do a bit NOVEMBER 2019

more,” he says.

He suspects a big part of the problem is the inundation of social media in society.

“It used to be a big deal back in the day when you got written up in the paper,” he says. “Now everyone’s got their own YouTube channel. Parents and kids think they are better than they are.”

Staysniak and his wife, Pam, have been residents of Brownsburg since 1995. He regularly emcees local fundraising events such as Habit of the Heart, an organization that provides emergency assistance to families of Hendricks County.

“It may be children who struggle in school because they need hearing aids or dental work,” Staysniak says. “It may be a family who is displaced due to fire or a woman escaping domestic violence.”

He also donates time to Seeds of Hope, Inc., a nonprofit that offers transitional housing for women recovering from alcohol or drug addiction. The annual Seeds of Hope fundraiser will take place November

23 at the new Colts complex on W. 56th Street. In addition, Staysniak helps the Rotary Club raise money for veterans to go on Honor Flights.

“Anything in Hendricks County I can do, I try to help because that’s home,” Staysniak says.

In his free time, he likes to fish, boat, camp and mow his 20-acre lawn with his Dixie Chopper. He’s got a woodworking shop that he set up when he first married but never devoted time to. Once he’s an empty nester, however, he plans to dive in.

He, Pam, and their two sons, Nathan (20) and Lucas (15), take regular camping trips to Gatlinburg and enjoy family reunions at his brother’s cabin in Wisconsin. They’ve also made trips to Hershey and Gettysburg, Pennsylvania — combining their love of chocolate and history. And in the spring, they try to get away to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun.

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Though Staysniak spends three hours a day talking on the radio, he’s a private, unassuming person.

“I tire of the Antonio Browns who like to brag on themselves,” he says.

The solution? For starters, he suggests people — particularly young folks —put down their phones and look up at their families who love them.

“I always had my brothers and sisters to come home to,” he says. “We were tight, so when negativity came at me, my siblings rallied around and instilled confidence in me.”

He hopes to instill the same values in his boys.

“The goal for everyone should always be to make the world a better place,” he says.

“I want my kids to be leaders of the next generation.”

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Hendricks County Students Represent Team USA In BMX World Championships Writer / Jamie Hergott Photographer / Amy Payne

Drew Polk, 16, Reagan Rice, 10, and Nico Pareja, 16

NOVEMBER 2019

hen most kids think of BMX, they may think of watching the X Games on TV or even making makeshift jumps in their own yards for their bikes.

When Nico Pareja, 16, Drew Polk, 16, and Reagan Rice, 10, think of BMX, they think of their most recent participation on the USA team in the BMX World Championships in Belgium in July.

“It was the best thing ever,” Pareja says. “It was amazing.”

“It was the very best day of my entire life,” Rice says.

For these Hendricks County students, participating in the World Championships was thrilling, but it was also simply another stepping stone into a lifelong love and participation in the sport.

They all started young. Pareja, whose parents are from Columbia, began riding when he was eight years old. His dad happened across a Facebook post about an indoor BMX track downtown and decided to take his son to try it out.

Qualifying for the World Championships isn’t easy. All three have been racing since a very young age, and they have actively participated “I instantly loved it,” Pareja says. “I love that it’s more physical than in National races over the years. other sports. I rely more on my body to go where I want to go.”

Riders accumulate points at National races and local races throughout the year. Top finishers and racers from all over the world gather for Grand Nationals, which takes place every year over Thanksgiving in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This race ultimately allows riders the opportunity to earn top spots in how they finish for the year in the Nation or National Age Group (NAG).

In addition, there are two World Championship qualifier races in the U.S. each year. Riders must qualify for the main event at one of the qualifier races which then allows them to participate on the USA World Championship team, made up of 16 riders from each age group. The World Championships were in Belgium this year, and next year they’ll take place in Houston, Texas.

Two years ago, Pareja met Polk. Polk got his first motorcycle when he was three years old and began racing motocross at the age of four.

He switched to racing BMX full-time once he was eight years old and has been extremely active in the sport ever since. He moved to Indianapolis in 2017, where he met Pareja.

The boys bonded immediately over their shared BMX passion, eventually competing in National competitions together in 2018.

That was a big year for Polk, who swept up four National wins, receiving second place in the nation and fifth at the Grand Nationals.

He currently sits in second place in the nation for his age group.

Gathering and competing with the BMX family from around the world is something that can’t be expressed in words, according to Rice’s mother Jenny.

“And now we’re here,” Polk says, basking in the glow of participating in Worlds but also with his gaze fixed permanently on growing his career. “It’s all about you. It’s not a team sport. You’ll get out what you put into it. If you work hard, the results will show. It’s your body doing the work, there’s no engine.”

“Riders from all over the world compete against the best of the best,” she says. “There were kids from Europe, South Africa, even Japan. It’s like a huge family across the entire world.”

Rice, the youngest of the three, found her love for riding when she began on striders at the age of three. Her older brother was already racing BMX.

Between competitions, the Pareja and Rice families enjoyed Europe and even celebrated Pareja’s 16th birthday in Paris, touring France on a train, having breakfast near the Eiffel Tower, and taking scooters all over Paris.

“I got tired of watching him race,” Rice says. “I started racing when I was four years old, and I’ve been going to Nationals with my brother ever since.”

Polk agreed that participating in the World Championships was lifechanging. He has big plans for BMX, hoping to compete at the pro level. He’d like to attend college at Marian University to ride on their BMX team, and he even has his eye on the 2024 and 2028 Olympics.

“Participating in Worlds was a huge accomplishment,” Polk says. “It was the highlight of my career being able to qualify for it.”

Rice, also already talking about college at Marian at the tender age of 10, jumped in to describe something most 10-year-olds don’t even come close to experiencing.

She’s competed in many National races and achieved NAG 6 when she was six years old, which means her national point listing for all of her Nationals races earned her a NAG plate. She currently sits 24th in the nation for her age group.

She loves the friendships she’s made and how her world has expanded far past the walls of her school.

“You just meet a lot of amazing people,” she says, then looked in admiration at Polk and Pareja. “Like these guys.”

There are only seven BMX tracks in Indiana, including Marian

NOVEMBER 2019

University, where there is a BMX team that also offers scholarships. All three students have their eyes on the team as well as the scholarship.

Other tracks are in Evansville, Columbus, Warsaw, Hobart, Portage and Fort Wayne. The Portage track is indoor, and many riders travel there in the winter to train.

Pareja, Polk and Rice train almost daily. All three take advantage of the Marian University track, and if they aren’t training on their bikes, they’re training by doing sprints, gate starts or strength training, and each of them works with a BMX trainer.

With the amount of training involved, school might seem to take a back burner with students sometimes missing classes to participate in competitions. It turns out, however, that most kids who race BMX are excellent students.

“Kids in this sport are outstanding,” Jenny says. “They get good grades, they are very respectful, they go out of their way to help one another, and you just won’t find better kids in a sport. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Polk says. “When you come out, it’s like a passion thing.”

Polk gets school done in his free time and still maintains the honor roll as well as AP classes.

That passion is also clear when the students are practicing at the track. It’s extremely common for experienced riders to reach out and help a newer rider through a jump of their own volition, not because a coach told them to, not because they were asked, but because they want to help other riders be better, be safe and do well.

This leads to close friendships, and these three are no different.

Even though the three compete against each other, they are a closeknit group.

“These guys are the same age and compete against each other,” Jenny says. “But they root for each other and are each other’s biggest fans.”

Polk agrees, emphasizing that something about the sports drives him to excel in all areas of life.

Pareja’s parents appreciate the friendships as well as the time together as a family. His father, Jaime, says that the several days his family spends together as they travel for Pareja’s races is always a special time of bonding.

“It’s not like typical sports like baseball, basketball and football,”

“It’s not like football, where you’re together for an hour and a half and

NOVEMBER 2019

go home,” Jaime says. “We spend three days in a row together.

Some camp, some get a hotel, some sleep at a friend’s house.

We’re creating memories, something for them to have in the future that hopefully they’ll repeat with the next generation.”

When the families found themselves together at the World Championships, the experience of a lifetime was also nervewracking for parents to watch. In fact, Carolina attended Worlds with Pareja while Jaime stayed home. Yet Carolina could hardly stand to watch her son during the race so Jaime watched from home in the United States and texted her updates.

“I can’t stand to watch him,” she says laughing. “I never watch in real-time.”

Even though these three students have reached the pinnacle by participating in the World Championships, all three will be in Tulsa, Oklahoma participating in Grand Nationals this Thanksgiving. Jenny agrees that sometimes it’s tough to watch the kids race, but it also makes her proud as a parent.

“I hold my breath during some races,” Jenny says. “But I have such a sense of pride watching them. Seeing them, their camaraderie, the bond they’ve created, wearing the colors. I won’t lie, I cried. It’s so emotional. It’s scary and exhilarating and fun and exciting, all packed into 45 seconds or less.”

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IU Health West Hospital Growing to Meet Community Needs For nearly two years, team members at Indiana University Health West Hospital have been working to literally “raise the roof ” and open the hospital’s $84M expansion project.

“Our ability to provide care to all of the patients who need us has been challenged by our capacity,” says Doug Puckett, president of the IU Health Indianapolis Suburban Region, which includes IU Health West, North, Saxony and Tipton hospitals. “We serve a growing community and have been proud to serve the people of Hendricks County and beyond since we opened in late 2004. This expansion sets the stage for IU Health and IU Health West to continue to be the first choice for patients in our market for years to come.”

The IU Health West Hospital vertical expansion will increase the hospital’s inpatient capacity by more than 50%, adding 48 inpatient beds. It will add one floor to the hospital’s “B” inpatient tower, in addition to adding two NOVEMBER 2019

floors on the north side of the building (the “A” tower) to expand functional spaces including operating rooms, cath lab, lab, inpatient pharmacy, kitchen/cafe and classroom areas. The expansion also calls for additional parking.

beam in the structural frame. Hundreds of IU Health West team members signed the final two steel beams that were used in the ceremony, and the beams were elevated and dropped into place with a crane.

Earlier this year, on September 3, 2019, the hospital celebrated a major construction milestone — a topping out ceremony.

Construction projects, including this one, traditionally hold a “toppingAvon out”4.75ceremony to mark the placement of the final steel x 7.125-AUGUST-OUTPUT-080219.pdf 1 8/2/2019 4:37:08 PM

The expansion at IU Health West Hospital will open in phases beginning mid-2020. Construction is taking place in phases, allowing the hospital to remain open during construction and is strategically planned to minimize disruption to patient care.

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Deb Ahern

The Courage to Leave One Woman’s Journey to Freedom & Fulfillment After Escaping Domestic Abuse Writer / Christy Heitger-Ewing Photography Provided by KelGrand Photography

It all started so sweetly, or so it seemed. Deb Ahern was working at a pharmaceutical company when she met Philip*, an EMT who showered her with attention.

“He called me constantly and was always asking about me,” Ahern says.

They began dating and later moved in together. It was only after they were living together that Ahern learned that Philip had a pregnant ex-girlfriend. But she loved her new boyfriend and stuck with him. Then, in July 1992, she became pregnant. The pair were married on Valentine’s Day 1993. Once Ahern became Philip’s bride, his attentiveness turned possessive as he demanded to know of his wife’s whereabouts 24/7.

“He’d find fault with my friends so that I’d stop hanging out with them,” she says. “He also never wanted me to visit my parents.”

It didn’t stop there. He began calling her at work to keep tabs on her and grilling her at night about who she talked to that day. He demanded that she come straight home from work and checked the mileage on her car to ensure that she did. He demeaned her with derogatory names and told her that her administrative assistant job was useless.

“He said I was ugly and fat and that no one else would ever want me,” says Ahern, who internalized all of the negativity. She was pregnant with Tyler when Philip got angry and punched a bifold door that came off the hinges and landed on her. She tried putting the incident out of her head, but more unfolded, one after another.

“Once I was holding Tyler on my shoulder when Philip started berating me for talking to men at work,” Ahern says. Philip’s eyes *name has been changed NOVEMBER 2019

got wide and his face turned hot with rage. Then he accused her of sleeping with her coworkers and smacked her across the face so hard she felt like her eye exploded. From there, the physicality escalated.

He punched her in the jaw. He hit her in the head with skillets.

He burned her with cigarette lighters. One day he beat her left side until she was gasping for air.

“I saw hate and craziness in his eyes. I remember thinking that was the night he was going to kill me,” Ahern says. He fractured her ribs and left her side black and blue. One time, he accused her of flirting with a waiter. When she denied it, he repeatedly spit in her face.

“It was so degrading,” Ahern says. After each abusive incident, Philip bought Deb red roses, promising never to do it again. But more fury always followed.

Finally, one night she couldn’t take it anymore. She shuffled into the bathroom, void of dignity and hope, and searched the medicine cabinet for pills. She found a handful of narcotics left over from surgery and reasoned that it was the only way to escape her pain. She pressed the first pill to her lips when suddenly she spotted 3½-year-old Tyler out of the corner of her eye. He was standing in the doorway with his head cocked to the side like a curious puppy.

“What are you doing, Mommy?” he asked innocently.

In that instant, she abandoned her plan.

“I knew I couldn’t leave this world,” Ahern says. “I’m here today because of Tyler.”

Though she chose not to die, she didn’t know how to live. Then one day she saw a talk show where women were discussing their abusive marriages.

“I realized I wasn’t alone,” Ahern says. Later that day, Philip stormed into the kitchen and issued a harrowing threat.

“If you ever try to leave me,” he seethed, “I will cut you into so many pieces, no one will ever find you, not even your family!”

Ahern realized that if she stayed with Philip, there was a real chance she wouldn’t survive.

Soon thereafter, Philip began having panic attacks so doctors prescribed Paxil, which curbed the physical abuse. About that time, Ahern learned Philip had a girlfriend on the side. Between his fixation on the other woman and his new medication, Ahern felt empowered to break free from the relationship. She rented a small apartment for her and Tyler and, for the first time, they settled into a peaceful existence.

It was a struggle making ends meet. The electricity, gas and phone were shut off when she couldn’t pay bills. And she and Tyler ate a

lot of mac-n-cheese. Nevertheless, life was beautiful in the absence of fear.

“We painted Tyler’s bedroom bright yellow and danced to MC Hammer,” Ahern says. “We went on walks and bike rides.”

Not that life was all rosy. Philip spewed hateful rhetoric about Ahern anytime he was alone with Tyler so that when Tyler returned from weekends with his dad, he’d holler, “I hate you, Mommy! You’re awful!”

Ahern knew her boy was only repeating the narrative fed to him by his father. Still, it stung. Ultimately, she attended counseling to sort through her pain. She was shocked when her therapist told her she was suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Ahern thought only soldiers returning from war endured PTSD. “You went through your own war,” the counselor said.

To help rebuild her self-esteem, Deb engaged in positive selftalk to replace the negative words that had played on loop in her mind for so long. Now she uplifts others by leaving sticky notes on windshields with messages like, “You’re beautiful,” “You matter,” and “You’re worthy.”

In November 1997, Deb went on a blind date with an engineer named Jerry and they married in 1999. Since leaving her abusive marriage, Ahern has built a happy and successful life.

Not only did she give birth to a daughter, Riley, in 2001, but she also became a registered nurse, worked as the assistant to a former Mayor of Indianapolis, ran her own legal nurse consulting business and is now the point person for recruiting 150 team members for IU Health West’s $83M, 50-inpatient bed expansion project as well as 26 positions for the upcoming Joe & Shelly Schwarz Cancer Center at IU Health North. She’s also currently earning her RN-BSN degree and has completed training and has volunteered at a golf outing for Sheltering Wings, a Christ-centered organization that provides emergency housing for survivors escaping domestic abuse.

At Sheltering Wings, Ahern started a “butterfly blanket” project where she makes fleece blankets for moms and children with a butterfly in one corner and a handwritten note that encourages them to stay strong and reminds them that life will get better.

“I’ve done more with my life after exiting the abusive situation than I did before,” says Ahern, who remains close to her ex-stepdaughter, Amanda and her two children who call her “Grandma Deb” even though they aren’t blood relatives.

Ahern encourages any woman who is in an abusive situation to seek help. She recognizes how difficult this can be when one feels trapped in a cycle of abuse but promises that life can and does get better when you tell someone you trust who can help you escape.

“It seems easier to comply with the abuser’s requests than to fight back and risk getting hurt again,” Ahern adds. “But you are worth it.

You can survive. Abuse is not the end of the road. I’m living proof.”

NOVEMBER 2019

Signs of Domestic Abuse The following are 8 signs of mental and emotional abuse used by one person to gain power and control over another: 1. Intensity Lying or exaggerating, over-the-top gesture, bombarding you with texts or calls 2. Jealousy — Behaving irrationally when you have a new friend, accusing you of cheating, demanding to know your whereabouts 3. Control — Telling you how to dress, checking your phone, following you, withholding money 4. Isolation — Insisting you only spend time with them, preventing you from seeing friends, forbidding you from leaving the house 5. Criticism — Calling you overweight, ugly, stupid, brainwashing you to feel worthless 6. Sabotage — Making you miss work or school by starting a fight, hiding your money, keys or phone, destroying your self-esteem 7. Blame — Making you feel guilty, blaming you for their problems 8. Anger — Overreacting to small problems, violent outbursts, threatening to hurt you or your loved ones, making you feel afraid For help, call 800-799-SAFE or visit endabuse4good.org Source: EndAbuse4Good

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5 WAYS TO PREVENT GETTING THE FLU THIS YEAR Hendricks County Public Health Officials Encourage Residents to Prepare For Flu Season women, people who are 65 or older, and people who have certain medical conditions such as asthma, heart disease or diabetes,” Flu season is now underway and will says Kandi Jamison, Director of Public typically last until late March. If residents Health Nursing for the Hendricks County take these five precautions seriously, Unfortunately, the flu is very contagious Health Department. “This is in part because flu season will be less severe than years and easy to pass from person to person. some of these vulnerable residents cannot passed.

Most medical experts agree that the virus is safely receive a flu vaccination or simply primarily passed through tiny water droplets choose not to.”

According to the Center for Disease from sneezing, coughing, skin-to-skin Control and Prevention (CDC), influenza contact or contact with unwashed surfaces. So, it is up to the rest of us to take these five or “flu” is a “contagious respiratory illness Sometimes, the flu can even be passed by an steps to prevent getting or giving the flu this caused by influenza viruses that infect the infected person before he or she experiences fall: nose, throat, and sometimes the lungs. symptoms. In 2018 and early 2019, around It can cause mild to severe illness, and at 1. Get your flu shot!

827 individuals from Hendricks County times can lead to death.”

This is the easiest and best way for you were seen at an emergency department for to prevent getting or giving the flu. flu-like symptoms.

“Symptoms of flu often include fever, “Your family doctor and almost all local cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, pharmacies in Hendricks County will offer “Residents who are most vulnerable to body aches, headache, chills, fatigue and flu shots this fall, including Kroger, CVS, danger if they get the flu are newborns, sometimes diarrhea and vomiting,” says Dr. young children under the age of 5, pregnant Walgreens, Walmart, various immediate/ David Stopperich, MD, Health Officer for Writer/ Chase Cotton Photography Provided

Hendricks County. “If you are experiencing these symptoms, it is important that you call your family doctor or another provider as soon as possible.”

32 / AVON MAGAZINE / NOVEMBER 2019 / AvonMagazine.com

urgent care centers, Meijer and Target,” Jamison says. “The Hendricks County Health Department also offers the vaccine to both uninsured and insured adults and children. If you can, you should definitely get your flu shot, because this protects others around you who are more vulnerable or may not be able to receive a flu shot – we call this concept ‘herd immunity’ – if the majority of the herd is vaccinated, the most vulnerable in the herd are protected.”

The Health Department’s walk-in flu clinic is open every Wednesday during flu season starting October 2nd, from 8:30 A.M. to 3:30 P.M. at their Public Health Nursing Clinic in the Hendricks County Government Center, 355 S. Washington St., Danville. For more information about the clinic, insurance coverage, or cost of the vaccine, please call (317) 745-9222.

2. If you have a cough or sneeze, cover it.

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frequently touched in your home and workplace. This includes desks, doorknobs, mobile devices, countertops, steering wheel of car, etc. The flu virus can “live” on some surfaces for up to 24 hours. Common household cleaning products can kill the flu virus, including products containing chlorine, hydrogen peroxide, detergents (soap), iodophors (iodine-based antiseptics), or alcohols.

5. Stay home from work, school and other activities when you are showing symptoms of the flu. It is much better to be safe than sorry. Plus, nobody wants your germs. Visit your doctor as soon as possible after becoming ill to be tested for the flu. If it is not the flu, your doctor can provide other treatment to get well.

Antibiotics will not cure the flu, but there are other prescription medications that can help reduce and relieve symptoms.

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Prevention recommends that everyone over the age of six months old should get a flu shot. Anyone who has an allergy to eggs or any other ingredient in the vaccine, as well as anyone who has ever had Guillain-Barré Syndrome, should talk to their doctor before getting the vaccine, as there are now alternative vaccines available for patients with certain conditions.

For more information about the flu, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s website at cdc.gov/flu/about/ disease/index.htm.

For more information about the flu or local vaccine providers, contact the Hendricks County Health Department Public Health Nursing Division at 317-745-9222 or visit their website at www.co.hendricks.in.us/ health.

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STUFFED!

UNIQUE RECIPES FOR CLASSIC THANKSGIVING DISHES Writer / Abigail Hake Photography Provided

Thanksgiving is such a great time to be with family, watch some football and stuff your face full of some of the best comfort food out there. But cooking a Thanksgiving Feast can be daunting, unless you do it year after year.

It takes strategic planning, off the charts time management skills and the energy of a 6-year old — which is probably why most people leave it to their in-laws or friends.

Those who take on this beast of a feast year after year after year really revel in the chaos and strategy of it. It’s a full day in the kitchen, staying up late the night before and getting up early to get that turkey started on the big day. And it’s always helpful to have tried and true recipes to round out the menu! “Vintage” recipes tend to be some of the best. I mean who doesn’t love their great grandma’s green bean casserole or

their aunt’s secret recipe pecan pie? But a good mix of old and new is sure to satisfy most of your guests. If you are ready to try something different, here is a stuffing recipe sure to please. It typically entices wanting seconds from non-stuffing lovers and is sure to satisfy your tastes.

DRIED CHERRY & SAUSAGE STUFFING: Ingredients -½ cup butter (1 stick) -6 celery stalks, finely diced -2 medium onions, finely diced -1 loaf French bread, cut into 1-inch cubes and toasted (10 cups) -1 cup dried cherries -¾ pound Italian sausage, casings removed, cooked, and crumbled -¾ cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped -1 teaspoon kosher salt -1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper -2 14.5oz cans of chicken broth 36 / AVON MAGAZINE / NOVEMBER 2019 / AvonMagazine.com

Directions (1) Melt the butter in a 12-inch skillet over medium heat. Add the celery and onions and cook until they are translucent, about 5-7 minutes.

(2) In a large bowl or pan, combine the celery and onions with the bread, cherries, sausage, parsley, salt, and pepper. Add the broth and stir until well combined.

(3) If you want some inside your turkey, use a spoon to loosely stuff the mixture into the turkey just before roasting.

(4) If not, pour the rest of the into a baking dish, cover and bake in a 325° oven for one hour; uncover and bake for another 15 minutes. Serve warm.

After you’ve had your fill ( I hope you wore your stretchy pants), watched your team win, and then napped for a bit, it’s time for dessert.

Holiday desserts are seriously the best.

There’s just something special that makes a pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving taste way better than one on any other normal day.

Fall recipes are always delicious, but some of the best and favorite out there tend to be pumpkin related. If you haven’t tried a pumpkin roll before, you might want to.

They aren’t really that hard to make and it might quickly become a Thanksgiving dessert table staple.

Cream Cheese Filling: -2 cups powdered sugar -8 oz cream cheese -¼ cup butter -½ tsp vanilla

PUMPKIN ROLL

(2) Pour and smooth evenly into a cookie sheet you have lined with parchment paper.

Here’s what you’ll need: -3 eggs -1 cup sugar -⅔ cup pumpkin -¾ cup flour -1 tsp baking powder -1 tsp ginger -½ tsp cloves -½ tsp salt -2 tsp cinnamon

(5) Once cooled, unroll and spread evenly with cream cheese filling. Gently roll back up.

(6) Place on a platter, sprinkle with powdered sugar and refrigerate. Serve Chilled.

Sponge Cake:

Filling:

(1) Sift flour, spices, and baking powder in a large bowl. Add eggs and pumpkin. Mix until combined.

(3)Bake at 375 degrees for 12 minutes.

(4) While the cake is still warm, sprinkle lightly with powdered sugar, invert onto a clean tea towel and roll up. Let cool until room temperature or in the refrigerator. *You’ll want to roll while still warm to reduce cracks. And use powdered sugar on the towel to prevent sticking!

(1) Mix together room temperature cream cheese and butter, add vanilla and powdered sugar. Beat ingredients until creamy and smooth.

And now that you’ve eaten your way through the table a few times, splurged on desserts and shared all the things you are grateful for, it’s about time for bed. Being around friends and family makes for some great memories, but all that turkey will probably have you ready to hit the pillow.

May your day be filled with joy and laughter, and the best stuffing and pumpkin rolls you’ve ever had!

Give the gift of great memories!

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Use this holiday prep list to host the best gathering this season Writer / Claire-Anne Aikman

There are many things to love about winter. There are its snowfalls (not driving in snow, just watching the snowfall) and its crisp, biting air that calls for hot chocolate and cookies. Then there are its holiday lights. However, one of the best parts is the overall cheery mood that most people have this time of the year.

Somehow, in the cold, busy, bundled up day-to-day, people make time to gather with family and friends in their homes. That gathering space is a huge driver in why many people purchase the home they are in. If they are the ones always traveling to gather, space needs are small. If they are hosting, wide-open spaces are desired.

To maximize holiday gathering enjoyment for all, see the list holiday prep list below to learn how to host a gathering of your own this season.

4. Clean out the fridge. This might not seem too holiday prep worth, but the logic is that this space will be in high demand. So, take out the old containers that are taking up space.

5. Decorate accordingly. This is tricky for people that have a dog that likes to chew things. Implement strategic decorating methods — especially around the Christmas tree.

6. Determine how much seating will be needed. Get a headcount and plan out how you’ll best utilize your space.

7. Have holiday scented smelly things strewn about (candles and oils). The smell of gingerbread cookies baking can accomplish that stated “need.”

Entertaining doesn’t have to be elaborate or frenzied. It’s a great Operation Holiday Prep way to bring family and friends together to create memories that 1. Clean. No need to list every item that needs to be cleaned, and last a lifetime. Plan a little, reduce your stress a lot, and enjoy your no need to make your home spotless, but cleaning is good, hop guests! to it.

2. Clear the major spaces. Major spaces include the dining room and living room. Suggest to guests that they avoid the bedrooms and smaller spaces.

3. Clear the entryway. This includes those summer shoes that might still be out!

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