Togatus Issue #1 2011

Togatus.

February 2011 FREE!

Australian of the Year 2010 . Bedroom Philosopher . Children Collide

Showcasing Hobart’s finest Djs

Restaurant

Bar

6224 4444 www.themetz.com.au

Weekend Breakfast from 8am.

Wednesday night Uni Specials from 6pm.

Cafe

217 Sandy Bay Road

Open 7 Days till late.

Metz on Sundays forget about Monday

Published by the State Council on behalf of the Tasmania University Union Inc. (hf. “the publishers�).

The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Togatus staff or the publishers. The copyright in each piece of work remains with the contributor; however, the publishers reserve the right to reproduce material on the Togatus website (www.togatus.com.au).

The copyright in this magazine remains with the publishers.

Editor:

Alexandra Gibson editor.togatus@utas.edu.au

Sub-editor:

Jessica Lyndon, Anita Whittle, Julius Ross

Design Editor: Sam Lyne

Design and Layout:

Jacky Ho, Emma Ismawi, Sam Lyne, Eloise Warren, Jessica Mcleod

Cover:

Amy Reid

Advertising:

Please contact editor.togatus@utas.edu.au

Contributors:

Bec Chirichiello, Sophie Clark, Ally Gibson, Jessica Hancock, Ed Jamieson, Ella Kearney, Jessica Lyndon, Hannah McConnell, Bourne Milano, Julius Ross, Pete Saunders, Mark Stewart, Michael Voss, Emily Woodgate.

Printed on Impress Gloss (FSC accredited, ECF [Chlorine Free] and PH Neutral) by GEON. Togatus PO Box 5055 Sandy Bay, Tas 7006 Email: editor.togatus@utas.edu.au

www.togatus.com.au Follow us: Twitter: http://twitter.com/TogatusMagazine Facebook: facebook.com/togatus.mag.

Togatus welcomes all contributions. Please email your work or ideas to editor.togatus@utas.edu.au.

It is understood that any contribution sent to Togatus may be used for publication in either the magazine or the website, and that the final decision on whether to publish resides with the editor and the publishers. The editor reserves the right to make changes to submitted material as required.

Togatus is published quarterly.

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Photo by Pete Gibson

Greetings Lovely Togatus Followers!

Welcome to the first issue of Togatus for 2011, we are thrilled with this edition of the mag and also have some exciting news!

Firstly, not only have we been working hard on the magazine, but we’re also investing a lot of time online.

If you haven’t added Togatus Mag on Facebook.com, then please do. We’ll be bringing you up-to-date articles exclusively for the web as well as photo galleries, event information and general information.

We have interviews, photographs, reviews and more, waiting to go up at www.Togatus.com.au, so keep your eyes peeled!!

Secondly, Togatus has officially become a bona fide SOCIETY! Therefore, we will expect to see you at Societies Day on 22nd February in Launceston and the 23rd in Hobart during O Week. Please come and sign up and enjoy some treats from us to you!

Thirdly, Togatus was last year's WINNER of the 2010 Australasian Campus Union Managers’ Association Award for Excellence in Campus Service for the BEST

Newspaper/Magazine/E-Newsletter (categories 4, 5 & 6).

We are so excited that Tog is starting to make a name for itself nationally, which leads me onto one of our themes this issue: being Tasmanian.

I’m sick of travelling interstate and feeling degraded by my fellow countrymen. If you feel the same way, you will appreciate Ella Kearney, Michael Voss and Emily Woodgate’s take on how it feels to be subject to the old “Tassie Joke”. Blagh.

However, there is a serious side to being Tasmanian. As a Tas University student are you planning to leave the state in the name of your career? Do you need to these days?

Tog writer Julius Ross spoke to Justin Heazlewood, aka The Bedroom Philosopher, about leaving and returning to Tasmania and it’s relation to success.

So what about that — your career? This issue Tog wanted to get inside the idea that success not only comes from working hard, climbing ladders and university degrees, but loving what you do. How many of you changed paths, or are thinking about it, because you’ve been living by what they “should” be doing, rather than what you “want”? This issue, Pete Saunders — Togatus’ ex-design editor, writes about following his passions to Wyoming, America in search of 4

Firstly.

combining his two great loves — graphic design and skiing.

Another angle on the issue is given by Ed Jamieson — an ex-business student at the University of Tasmania who, after completing three years of his degree, decided the pressure he felt to attain a degree wasn’t as important as enjoying what he does for living. He is now halfway through a carpentry apprenticeship which he loves.

Togatus has been granted two very large privileges this issue. The first is that Emily Brain — a University of Tasmania student with a severe bipolar disorder, has allowed her friend Sophie Clark to write a profile piece on her. The result is a fascinating and very close-up and personal look at what it means to live with a bipolar disorder. We are very grateful to be given the permission to publish it.

Togatus was lucky enough to score an interview with Australian of the Year, Psychiatrist Patrick McGorry.

Following on from Sophie’s profile piece, Patrick talks about the importance of effective support for youth mental illness; the state of refugee detention centres in Australia; founding Headspace — Australia’s National Youth Mental Health Foundation; and his own personal experience of being named the 2010 Australian of the Year.

On top of that, we’ve got interviews with Australian

bands Children Collide and The Stoics; a guide to drinking wine — to ensure Tasmanian Uni students (and any other interested readers) don’t embarrass themselves in front of important company; an important look into the volatile world of men’s underwear; and a travel story with an important history.

Enjoy this issue of Togatus and we look forward to partying with you in O Week!

Alexandra Gibson The thing I hate most about myself is that not only do I sleep talk, but I’ll fight anyone who doesn’t understand what I’m talking about, until I wake-up mid fight and realise I was wrong and talking rubbish. Sorry Tom. 5

contents

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Firstly.

contents

contents

08 12 16 18 24 26 30 33 36 40 44 46

an alien in your own skin interview with patrick mcgorrny choosing a trade to ride a smile peacocking interview with bedroom phil bagging tas interview with children collide lessons from bolivia wine tasting organising a festival interview with the stoics

Photo by Eloise Warren 7

contributors

Emily Woodgate

Mark Stewart

Hannah McConnell

The thing I hate most about myself is my propensity to fall off things.

Pushbike, quadbike, horse, cliff…

The thing I hate most about myself is that I'd probably be good at waterpolo if I could swim.

The thing I hate most about myself is my apparent inability of learning life's hard lessons by means of trial and error. Or to be more specific, learning not to drink straight vodka.

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design team

Eloise Warren

Sam Lyne

Jess Macleod

Emma Ismawi

Jacky Ho

The thing I hate most about myself is that I don't have any magical powers, preferably the ability to summon chocolate at the click of my fingers.

The thing I hate most about myself is that I'm not very good at receiving compliments. Often I'll get nervous, and throw an irrelevant one back at them for the sake of social etiquette.

The thing I hate most about myself is that I know every word to Michael Bolton's 90s classic 'How Can We Be Lovers'. Actually no, I love that.

The thing I hate most about myself is that I'm much too soft. Taylor Swift and The Hannah Montana movie make me cry, this makes actual tragedies very epic.

The thing I hate most about myself is that I don't know myself well enough to know.

Warren, p. 4–5, 18–25

Macleod, p. 6–7, 16–17, 44–45

Ho, p. 8–11, 26–32

Ismawi, p. 33–43

Lyne, p. 1–3, 12–15, 46–48

feature writers

Bourne Milano

Ella Kearney

Michael Voss

Julius Ross

Ed Jamieson

The thing I hate most about myself is that I didn’t tell the man with the lipstick at Park Life that I admired his endeavour.

The thing I most hate about myself is that I joined airforce cadets for two months in grade nine purely to perve. I was bitterly disappointed.

The thing I hate most about myself is that I don't have a pet Velociraptor.

The thing I hate most about myself is… that I don't possess Ricky Gervais' humour.

Imagine my good looks and his comic genius combined?

The thing i hate most about myself is having the nickname : slamieson. That one is for you TK.

Photo by Amy Reid

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Amid the cheery clamour of the food court, Emily Brain, 19, smoothes her hands over her sleeve and the knotted pink scar it conceals.

The light casts an amber glow over her face as she fiddles with the collar and zipper of her white jumper. Her hands never rest. She is short and looks even smaller penned in by the sea of wooden tables. Her brown curls are sprinkled with blonde highlights and freckles mottle her nose. As she begins to speak with a voice that is both halting and clear, a curl falls loose from her ponytail and frames her languid green eyes. She lowers her eyelashes and drags the strand behind her ear as an old woman at a neighbouring table tilts her coffee cup, attempting to eavesdrop over the soulless, pulsing muzak. Emily ignores this, but her shaky smile belies the darkness she has battled to overcome.

As a child Emily was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a mood disorder that causes extreme mood swings which range from manic ‘highs’ to depressive ‘lows’. Emily has bipolar two, a form of the condition which leads her to experience depressive episodes more intensely than her manic episodes.

During a manic episode an individual’s mood becomes elevated for at least a week and they become extremely happy or irritable. Mania can lead to a sense of euphoria, loss of inhibition and disturbed sleeping and eating patterns. “It feels like you’re on top of the world — like you can’t do anything wrong. But sometimes when I’m on a high I can be quite argumentative…

Sometimes I’ll just do silly stuff like singing around the house,” Emily says.

She says she is aware when she is experiencing a depressive episode but can struggle to distinguish between mania and general happiness. While episodes are often unpredictable, all sufferers have periods in which their mood remains stable.

Living with bipolar disorder can make relationships hard to maintain. The 2007 Australian National Survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing found 65.7 percent of those affected had never been in a long term relationship.

Emily is single and says she has found pursuing romantic relationships difficult. “Once I was interested in this guy who happened to be the ex-boyfriend of someone I knew, and I was doing all this planning about how I was going to tell him how I felt about him.” After her mood stabilised Emily realised how much this would have embarrassed her and the damage it could have caused to her friendships.

She likens depressive episodes to being attacked by a dementor (the fictional creatures from Harry Potter which feed on positive emotions).

“It feels like you will never, ever feel happy again. You sort of just sit there like a vegetable and you can’t get the energy to move or talk.”

Emily’s reluctance to socialise during depressive episodes has caused problems with some friends. “I have had to let go of some friendships. I still hold onto the special ones though — the ones that accept me for what I am and respect me.”

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Profile.

an alien in your own skin.

Sophie Clark Due to treatment, Emily no longer experiences frequent episodes, unless she fails to take her medication or her sleep becomes interrupted. She says she usually goes through a major depressive episode annually but hasn’t been hospitalised since 2007.

Emily was hospitalised in an adolescent psychiatric ward at the age of 15, following a suicide attempt. Many people with bipolar disorder self-harm during their depressive episodes. The 2007 survey found 25 per cent of those affected attempted suicide over their lifetime, which is twice the rate of those with depression.

During her hospitalisation Emily was treated with electroconvulsive shock therapy (ECT), which is very rarely used on minors. She hadn’t heard of the procedure previously but after doing some reading she decided it was the best option. ECT aims to speed up recovery as other treatments can require weeks to take effect.

“ECT is mostly used for depressive symptoms and can be helpful in reducing their severity,” says Helen Pryer, Director of the University Psychology Clinic. “ECT is generally not used as a treatment of first choice and doctors do not suggest it lightly. Usually a range of potentially useful medications would be tried first, but sometimes they are not as effective as might be hoped.

ECT is usually carried out as a series of treatments over a few days or weeks.”

Emily admits ECT damaged her short term memory and says her father disapproves of the treatment. Yet she believes it was beneficial, as it has stabilised her moods and generally made her happier. She challenges the stigma surrounding the treatment. “ECT aims to correct the chemical imbalance in the brain. One Flew over the

Cuckoo’s Nest makes it seem like such a terrible, terrible thing. Nowadays, there’s a general anaesthetic, you can’t feel anything… it’s not torture — it’s making you better.”

Emily is now studying nursing in Launceston which she hopes will enable her to help other young people with mental illness. Her memory loss has made studying harder which is challenging at times as stressful conditions can trigger episodes. Yet, she has found the support services available at UTas helpful and is particularly thankful for being able to defer her first university exams as she was going through a depressive episode at the time.

The Disability Service at UTas can arrange provisions for student via a Learning Access Plan. While these provisions vary, Senior Counsellor Kelly Parkyn notes they commonly include “being able to apply for extensions without needing a medical certificate, examinations in a separate room and rest breaks during exams”.

“These accommodations are most useful if the student is willing to be up front with teaching staff, give them a copy of the Learning Access Plan, and discuss with them how their disability will affect the units they are studying.

Details of the disability are not documented in the Learning Access Plan, only the impact of the disability on the person’s study.”

Emily’s fingers scratch against the wobbly tabletop as she pauses to collect her thoughts. She says mental illness can leave a person feeling like an alien in their own skin.

“I have a massive scar on my arm — it’s huge, and it will never go away, and sometimes I ask myself why I did that to myself… But when I did it, I was just in another 11

mindset. It’s not an attention-seeking thing it’s a way of letting out pain.”

While Emily is open about her mental illness she says she finds most people unwilling to discuss it. “I like to tell people, but not everyone understands. If you told someone ‘I have the flu’ they’d be okay with it. But if you tell someone you have a mental illness, they take a step back. There is a lot of stigma.”

Finding and maintaining employment can be difficult for those with bipolar disorder. In her previous job Emily didn’t inform her boss about her mental illness and felt ostracised by other workers.

“I had a retail job… but it was hard adjusting to that new environment. I wasn’t liked too much there, put it that way.”

As Helen Pryer notes, “an issue for a person with mental illness is whether or not to disclose it to a potential employer — the temptation is not to say anything, but there is an anxiety then about whether people will find out. It can be useful for a person with mental illness thinking about getting a job to talk this through with someone, such as their psychologist, psychiatrist, GP or other support agency.”

The OzHelp Foundation is aimed at increasing mental health awareness and providing support services to the Building and Construction Industry and Skills Institute students. Regional Support Coordinator Marian Zwart says providing workplaces with information about mental health and the experiences of the mentally ill, is vital.

“I have had to let go of some friendships. I still hold onto the special ones though — the ones that accept me for what I am and respect me.”

“The stigmatising and isolation that these individuals feel can increase the intensity of an already disabling mental illness or condition. The more that people are educated and supported the more productive the workplace becomes.”

One of the tools Emily has used to overcome her struggles with mental illness is creative writing.

She dreams of becoming a published author and her proudest achievement has been writing a novel called Swallowing a Reality.

It is influenced by her knowledge of mental illness and the vast breadth of emotions she has experienced living with bipolar disorder.

As she sits at the table, Emily beams as she discusses editing Swallowing a Reality and ideas for further novels she is busy developing. The old woman has gone 12

Profile. now and the food court is quiet. A few cleaners weave sluggishly between the tables, ignoring us as they pick up rubbish. Emily sighs as her fingers unfurl upon her lap. Her smile is steady — and why shouldn’t it be? Her future looks bright.

The University offers free, confidential counselling for managing mental illness and issues like stress, relationship problems and traumatic events. The University Psychology Clinic also provides a free service for adults, including University students, undertaken by postgraduate clinical psychology interns who are supervised by experienced practitioners. Booking in advance is recommended. If a student wishes to access either the disability service or counselling service, they should contact the Support & Equity Unit on 1800 817 675 or visit www.support-equity.utas.edu.au for further information.

“If you told someone ‘I have the flu’ they’d be okay with it. But if you tell someone you have a mental illness, they take a step back.”

Photos by Jacky Ho

Sophie Clark The thing I hate most about myself is my inability to crump.

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TOGATUS' ALLY GIBSON SPOKE TO THE 2010

HIATRIST PSYC

A P T .

R F ICK O R P

MCGORRY

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P

Interview. rofessor Patrick McGorry has dedicated his career to youth mental health. He is the executive director of Orygen Youth Health, an internationally renowned organization, as well as a founding director of Headspace — a one-stop clinic for youths seeking health wellbeing support, information and services — which has been set up all around Australia.

He is also an advocate for refugee and asylum seeker mental health, publicly criticising Australia’s detention centres. As his term comes to an end, Patrick speaks to Ally Gibson about the Australian mindset when it comes to mental health and refugees; the need for a proactive reform of Australia’s mental health system; and reflects on the year that’s been.

ALLY: What did it mean to you to be Australian of the Year for 2010?

PATRICK It was pretty unexpected and I always say it was a fluke, but it was a good fluke for mental health.

Obviously, it’s a very big honour and there are tens of thousands of people that could be in this position, but I think it was a very timely thing for the field that I work in. I didn’t really think about it as an award, more like an opportunity and a responsibility to give a voice to people who haven’t had a strong enough voice in the past.

What has it allowed you to do?

Well, it was a good year to be Australian of the Year because we had a Federal election, which was obviously a hugely fragile, mercurial election process. We still have a hung parliament, essentially. There’s been a lot of interest in issues like mental health and lots of opportunities to put the case in the media, meet with policy makers, opinion leaders and get really good access to people I’d never been able to get access to before. I was forced into a kind of critical position a few times, because of the lack of response by Government. There should be support for these issues because there is such a huge gap in what’s been done in social policy. So I think we got to a better position and very high levels of community support for mental health — 35 per cent of Australians now think mental health is an issue up there with Climate Change and the economy, which is kind of unique in the world for a country to think that way. So that’s progress.

How have you dealt with the pressure of this kind of responsibility?

At times it’s easy to get a bit close to it and buffeted either way by the ups and downs of how it’s all going — a bit like a political campaign. So you need people around you, like a campaign team which I set up the beginning of the year, about half a dozen of us, who are basically working to support and advise me, to make sure I don’t stuff it up, really! Or at least reduce the chances of that. Also, I think the fact that people would email and write to me from around the country providing encouragement or telling me stories of misery and

neglect in the hands of the current system. That gave me more motivation. At times you get a bit thin skinned when you’re being personally attacked. It’s a bit like politicians sometimes feel, but I’m not really a politician so I don’t have the thick skin. I take it a bit too personally when it’s just part of the struggle and the war that you’re fighting.

So why have you found mental health and psychiatry so interesting and why do you think you have fit so well into that area?

I think there’s an area of intellectual or kind of practical thought; the mind and the brain and the world are all dissecting and it’s fascinating to understand how that can go wrong and how to conceptualise it and tackle it. Because people typically get into a one size fits all thinking, “we can’t fix anything until we fix up child abuse or poverty or economic inequality because they’re the real causes of the problem” and obviously it’s vital to put attention in that area, but we’ve also got to help people in the meantime. And how do you help them?

There are polarisations into very medical, biological thinking of “there’s a pill for everything” and on the other hand you get people who deny the value of the biological perspective and say “everything’s just got to be solved by everyone being nice to each other”. So the challenge is to bring these perspectives together and harness them in a sophisticated but effective way.

There’s also stigma. Even though [mental health] is a huge public health issue it only gets three per cent of the medical research budget in Australia, when it deserves 15 or 20 per cent. So there’s active discrimination against the whole enterprise. The potential rewards are great, the intellectual challenge is great and the practical struggle of it is attractive — nothing of value is achieved without a struggle, I find.

So what about the stigma that psychiatrists are usually crazy themselves? Do you think you’re a bit crazy?

[Laughs] I must be crazy. It’s not just the patients and the sufferers that are stigmatised, it’s those who work with them. But probably in the past, a lot of people 15

were attracted to the field because they had experienced mental ill health themselves and therefore have an intuition and understanding of it. But it’s a positive thing!

Fear is often associated with mental illness and people that suffer mental illness. How much of that fear has any real justification?

I suppose that fear is based on confusion and ignorance to some degree, but also a primitive fear of contamination, aggression and violence. And a fear of losing rationality.

So there are genuine reasons for fear, which is one of the drivers of stigma, but by providing effective treatment to people so they return to normal mental health is the best antidote to stigma, because there are a small number of people who do actually, for example, commit murder on

"Up to 90 per cent who come by boat are genuine refugees and we do accept them in the end, but we put them through the ringer in the process. So it’s dumb as a national policy." the basis of mental illness. The vast majority of people with serious mental illness don’t kill people, they’re not axe murderers. They’re not even violent — overall they’re less violent than the general population. Nearly all people who do kill as a result of untreated mental illness do it during the period before they are diagnosed and treated.

And once they’re treated they’re safe. So in a way fear and stigma should be very strong forces in favour of providing really good mental health care and not substandard or inadequate mental health care because that is actually dangerous to society.

So do you think that fear is counterproductive to helping people get the treatment they need?

Yeah, if people start seeing mental illness as an us and them situation then that definitely undermines it. But if we can make everyone feel like it’s in their best interest to have the issues addressed, because pretty much one in two people across their life span, 50 per cent, will have a need for mental health at some point in their life. Even if it’s just a period of counselling after bereavement or something. But sure, if that stereotype is promoted, like in Hollywood — the axe murderers as mentally ill people — that’s not reality, that’s just the tail wagging the dog.

What was the vision behind Headspace?

From puberty through to your twenties is the main period when most of the potentially serious adult type mental disorders surface. Yet that age group have got the worst access to health care because services aren’t designed for them — the standard GP is designed for little kids and old people. The mainstream health system is fine for over 50’s and there are children hospitals, but there’s nothing for adolescents and young adults because physically they’re quite healthy and they don’t really need the health system, except for mental disorders… So we have to build a system for it and that means building a primary care portal which is youth friendly with the right types of professionals in it: psychologists, drug and alcohol counsellors and GPs. So that’s what Headspace is meant to be — a one stop shop so you’re not referred to five different agencies in different parts of the community.

So there are clinics set up all around Australia?

Yeah, there’s about 30, soon to be another ten and we’re hoping that in another year or two there will be a total of 90. There should be at least two or three hundred around the country to really cover the population properly.

Are there any in Tasmania?

There’s one in Launceston and there’s going to be one set up this year in Hobart. But Tasmania probably needs at least half a dozen of them if not more [Laughs] Not because Tasmania needs more [laughs]. But just to be fair!

I was watching a video about Headspace and they were discussing the importance of peer support and youth involvement — why is it important?

I think it’s part of overcoming people’s anxiety about seeking help and it’s showing it’s possible to go through these periods of poor mental health and recover. With the combination of effective treatment plus your own youthful resilience you can overcome these problems. They’re also helping to make Headspace more sensitive to young peoples’ needs. It’s very easy for professionals to be selfcentred about what’s good for them rather than for the client so it’s very important to keep the system honest.

I suppose it also represents an ideal microcosm for the kind of peer support you want in the greater community?

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Interview.

Yeah, this idea of youth Mental Health First Aid, where you have lots of eyes and ears and support in peer groups — picking up when you or your friends are starting to experience the early warning signs of mental ill health.

You want that kind of support and expertise everywhere.

Torture and trauma are very common in refugee populations and asylum seekers — then it’s compounded by the journey to Australia and the way we treat people once they get here.

You also work with victims of trauma and torture, particularly refugees. What is the relationship between this and mental illness?

In general, neglect and trauma early in life is one of the key causes of mental ill health — 30 per cent of mental health problems can be traced back to early trauma, but even experiencing trauma as an adult can lead to mental health problems. Torture and trauma are very common in refugee populations and asylum seekers — then it’s compounded by the journey to Australia and the way we treat people once they get here. These cumulative traumas are key drivers of poor mental health which is why long term detention is a terrible thing because it creates an environment which is impossible to recover in and actually creates even more trauma. Having said that, [refugees] are a bit like young people in terms of having huge resilience.

But, they do need expert help and they get very limited amounts at the hands of the immigration system.

Why is that?

It’s become a political football. Neither side of politics has got the courage to do the right thing at the moment and the media have played into that and it’s tapped into some basic structural issues in the Australian psyché about foreigners coming — sneaking in — you know, and breaking the rules. It’s bizarre when you consider that most of us have come by boat at some point — I certainly did. We’ve been very fortunate in being given [citizenship] without actually fleeing persecution or having to leave — it was much more pull factors, apart from the convicts.

But we’ve lacked political or moral leadership on the issue.

Hopefully Julia Gillard will be the one to do it. I think Tony Abbott has a very mixed position on this but he’s got an open mind on other things so I haven’t given up hope. I think we’ve just got to tap into the good side of the

Australian nature somehow and over come it, because I don’t think Australians, generally speaking, want to do the wrong thing or want to be racist or discriminatory.

We’ve just got to be able to see these people for what they really are and that’s people who are really in need of our help. Up to 90 per cent who come by boat are genuine refugees and we do accept them in the end, but we put them through the ringer in the process. So it’s dumb as a national policy.

What do you say to young people who may have friends who are suffering from mental illness, or suffering mental illness themselves?

Talk about it, share the experience and learn about it.

Help your peers and friends around you and make sure they seek help in an effective way — find the right people to go to for an assessment. If you have a breast lump or a skin legion and you weren’t sure whether it was just nothing to worry about or something a bit more serious, you’d go and get it checked out and it’s the same with mental health — it might just be a bit of a crisis. If it’s something more serious then you can get effective help, which will work a lot better early on rather than six months or two years of struggling.

Did you see Chris Liley’s TV Series We Can Be Heroes?

[Laughs] Yeah I did!

What did you think?

I thought I should immediately hand back the Australian of the Year Award! [Laughs] I thought it was brilliant!

I love Chris Liley. That’s a classic Australian thing — taking the piss out of things and I did say to a lot of people “well I’ve got this award, but it’s a very unAustralian thing to have” because Australians are meant to be egalitarian and we have a very strong sense that everyone’s as good as everybody else which is one of the strengths of the country. So I think award systems, especially one like this, have a bit of dissidence about them and I have definitely felt self-conscious about it throughout the whole year, but as I say I’ve appreciated it very much because of the opportunity it’s given me to do something positive for other people. But I think Chris Liley probably has his finger on the pulse!

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Photo by Jess Macleod

Trade vs Degree Ed Jamieson Ever been stuck doing something that you’re not passionate about and come to the realisation that it’s just not for you? I started off doing a degree at UTas because I thought it was what I should be doing, not necessarily what I wanted to do.

While I was at school I was probably influenced by the advice from others about which direction to take in terms of my future. I followed everyone else’s ideals because I wasn’t really sure which career path I wanted to follow.

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During school, university was always the main focus and my teachers, family and peers reinforced this. I was constantly reminded of the importance of obtaining a high TCE score to ensure my entry into a degree. My subject choices revolved around pre-requisites, which would keep my options open when applying for university and I completed subjects which I did not necessarily enjoy or have any aptitude for.

I finished school in 2004 and travelled around Europe for a few months of the following year. When I returned home I decided to start doing some research into uni. I looked into various degrees which revolved around my interests.

I had always loved the ocean and thought a degree in Marine Biology would suit me. But after talking to Faculty Heads I was discouraged by the very scientific nature of the degree. It didn’t occur to me at the time to investigate any other pathways other than university. My cousin had recently completed a Business degree and it seemed like a good choice. I figured that because I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, the versatile and broad nature of Business would keep my options open for the future.

In 2006 I began studying Business and did so for two years.

“I thought about doing medicine, but the money just wasn’t good enough!”

Although I was doing well in all my subjects, my heart wasn’t really in it. I lacked motivation and I struggled to see myself working in that field. I decided to take a break and move to Queensland and while there I chose to quit uni and jump into a carpentry apprenticeship.

"I can’t remember being told anything about trades or even feeling like it was an option."

A carpentry apprenticeship takes four years to complete, although it is possible to finish early.

The majority of the training is onsite, but there are several courses which are taught and assessed at TAFE throughout the apprenticeship. As an apprentice the wage is not great, but for me the job satisfaction outweighs the low income. As you progress through your training the wage increases and once qualified there is potential for a much greater earning capacity. I was talking about this with a mate not long ago, who is also a carpenter and his response was “I thought about doing medicine, but the money just wasn’t good enough!”

I have found that ‘tradies’ can often be associated with the stereotype of being dumb and bogan, but personally that doesn’t bother me. As long as you apply yourself, it can be a rewarding and successful career.

And from time to time you might even be able to indulge in a pie and a Farmers Union iced coffee.

I guess when I was approached to write this article, the focus was on sharing my story and highlighting the fact that, in my opinion, you should do whatever makes you happy. Don’t be pressured into doing something you don’t want to do. I don’t see the years I spent at uni as a waste, more an addition to life experience and if anything, it helped me to find a direction I felt passionate about and enjoy.

I moved home to Tasmania and started working for a building company specialising in top end architectural residential work. I had grown up working alongside my dad, who is a carpenter and in retrospect I realised that I had always loved working hands-on and outdoors. In dropping out of uni, I found something I loved doing.

Looking back now I can remember attending information sessions at school Career Expo days, offering advice about careers which required a university degree.

However, I can’t remember being told anything about trades or even feeling like it was an option.

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SMILE Pete Saunders

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"THE SLOPES ARE STEEP AND THE AVALANCHE DANGER IS VERY, VERY REAL. LAST SEASON, ONE OF THE MOST WELL-KNOWN AND RESPECTED SKI PATROLLERS WAS SWEPT OVER A CLIFF FACE AND SUFFOCATED UNDER EIGHT FEET OF DEBRIS."

Less than a week after I submitted my final Masters project, I packed up my life and headed to America. I decided midway through the year that I was tired of the incessant bureaucracy of academic life. It seemed to me that, although universities are good at teaching us how to be assessed and pass exams, they fail at teaching us how to enjoy what we do. In retrospect, I liked my project but I was tired of the whole process. After five years, I needed to try and remember why I wanted to be a designer in the first place.

America seemed like the logical choice. For the last three years, I had spent my summer breaks in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, working as a ski instructor, so I used my qualifications to gain a twelve-month visa. Although I thoroughly enjoy teaching skiing, I know it isn’t a long-term career option for me. What it does do though, is introduce me to lots of people who can help me move into a job that can combine my two greatest passions - skiing and graphic design.

Hobart and Jackson feel like worlds apart. Wyoming is pushing the middle of America, north of Colorado and Utah. The state has the same population of Tasmania but is around four times the size. Most of it is rolling plains and vast emptiness, but Jackson Hole — part of the Teton mountain range, is located right at the doorstep of Yellowstone National Park. It’s one of the world’s most renowned locations for lots and lots of powder snow and incredibly steep terrain.

When I flew out of Melbourne, it was pushing 30 degrees.

A day and a half later, I walked off the plane and it was -25 and snowing. Right before I left, some good work opportunities had been sent my way, so I left feeling quite

despondent and questioning whether or not I was making the right choice. The moment my feet touched the tarmac, those feelings disappeared and I knew I was right back where I wanted to be.

Most people who live in Jackson were not born or raised locally. The residents are a strange mix of people from all walks of life who are drawn here by their love of the outdoors, big mountains and incredible snow. Since we all ended up here for the same reason, I decided that the best way to expel some creative energy before securing some design work was to make a short ski movie. No one I ski and film with are sponsored and we have few resources, but everyone gets a genuine kick out of seeing themselves on screen. Making a movie is the only way I can think of to give something back to all the people who have helped me have the most amazing days of my life. No matter which direction we go, we end up somewhere out in the wilderness, where you’re not likely to see another human being.

Most of the places we go to film are out of bounds.

The slopes are steep and the avalanche danger is very, very real. Last season, one of the most well-known and respected ski patrollers was swept over a cliff face and suffocated under eight feet of debris. In the first week of this season, a snowboarder propagated a seven foot crown and was recovered in time because his fingertips were visible to the rest of his group. Every single one of us is trained in avalanche safety and rescue and we all wear hundreds of dollars of safety equipment just in case the worst happens. However, with such risk comes reward.

As one of my friends said, “if you treat the mountain with enough respect, it can be life changingly positive.

But if you don’t, it can kill you.” Each day we head into the backcountry is a new experience that brings together a mix of fear, exhilaration, fun and truly memorable skiing.

Although we travel together, big mountain skiing is a 22

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"[WHEN A] MOMENT IS DOCUMENTED, IT MEANS AN INCREDIBLE PIECE OF FOOTAGE

‌ BUT ON A PERSONAL LEVEL, A LASTING ILLUSTRATION OF WHAT COULD BE A TURNING POINT IN YOUR LIFE." different experience for everybody. Our own personal goals and motivations will dictate what we get out of each trip. While one of our group may be lining up a big cliff to spin off, another may be sizing up a chute or line that had previously been unthinkable. Fear plays a huge part in what we do. The difference between sticking a huge trick and ending up seriously injured often comes down to commitment and confidence. A lack of either

could mean we come up short. The ability to temper fear and stick to your goal means you suddenly grow exponentially as a person. If that moment is documented, it means an incredible piece of footage for any bystander, but on a personal level, a lasting illustration of what could be a turning point in your life. As incredibly hyperbolic as it sounds, that is the effect of our situation and surroundings. That is why we are all here in the first place. And why so many of us chase endless winters.

In many ways, the goals and emotions of backcountry skiing act as a metaphor for my entire US adventure.

My goal is to set up a life in a place I love, working in a job I enjoy and having enough free time to continue improving as a skier. But part of that involves fear and trepidation, as I really have no idea how things are going to play out.

Part of that also includes excitement and elation as I start to see my work pop up around Jackson. Open a paper and an advertisement I designed will be on page two. Ride the bus to work and there will be something else I designed.

It’s a nice feeling to have some kind of impact on the visual aspect of this town. The level of work is nothing life changing but it has started the ball rolling in the right direction. Since moving to the US, a local design agency and a major ski company have noticed my work. What effect that will have on my career is yet to be seen, but it does introduce some exciting prospects for the future.

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"I QUESTION WHETHER OR NOT COMING HERE WAS THE RIGHT DECISION. BUT I FEEL LIKE THEY ARE THE QUESTIONS WE ALL ASK OURSELVES WHEN WE MOVE ON FROM MAJOR PLACES AND EVENTS IN OUR LIVES." Just like backcountry skiing, every day adds to the experience — good and bad. Every day, I try to expand and refine my skills in design, skiing and teaching.

Although my design career isn’t progressing at the rate it was back home, I spend all day outside, skiing powder and teaching kids how to ski. On my days off, my friends and I head into the backcountry with a tonne of camera equipment. In many ways, I feel like my life is on hold for an indeterminable amount of time, but I am so genuinely happy about that fact. I know that the time will come when I will have to make some serious decisions about my future and I look forward to that moment. But more than that, I look forward to whatever happens tomorrow — a feeling that university often pushed to the back of my priorities.

There are definitely times when I miss home, when I question whether or not coming here was the right decision. But I feel like they are the questions we all ask ourselves when we move on from major places and events in our lives. Maybe it was the right decision; maybe it wasn’t. At this stage, I don’t think knowing the answer to that is important. What is really important is trying to be one of the few people who truly enjoy doing what they do. So long as that happens, wherever the journey takes you is where you should be.

Pete Saunders The thing I hate most about myself is the fact that I will never be a cast member on the Jersey Shore.

Photos by Pete Saunders, Sean Baker and Cecilia Kunstadter

To view Pete Saunders' latest video To Ride a Smile visit togatus.com.au 25

"THE 'Y' FRONT IS THE COMMONLY KNOWN CHOSEN UNDERWEAR OF BANKERS AND PHYSICS PROFESSORS… THE RECIPIENT INSTANTLY ACKNOWLEDGES THAT THIS GUY HAS A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOTHER"

PEACOCKING Bourne Milano If you are doing it right, underwear is the last thing you take off before you get down to business. When you’ve made it to this tenuous point, the smallest of details are magnified; you are at the precise moment where you make or break the deal and it is therefore absolutely imperative that your underwear conveys the right message.

reluctant to change, which translates to “will probably wear jeans to a wedding and will likely pay for airline tickets with cash”.

See, men’s underwear is like tribal headwear; styles and colours allow your audience to associate you with a particular tribe without any need for the verbal foreplay.

A crisp set of designer trunks will convey a tribal allegiance to fine dining and considerate love making, while a torn pair of satin boxers conveys a tribal allegiance to truck racing and hair pulling. To understand what your underwear says about you, here are a few examples starting with the classic brief.

The ‘Y’ front is the commonly known chosen underwear of bankers and physics professors. Having unravelled this iconic piece the recipient instantly acknowledges that this guy has a great relationship with his mother.

Some unique adaptations of the ‘Y’ front can put you in the crowd of the chic geek, however if you don’t have the rest of the outfit to back it up, you are likely to be taken as the sort of individual that irons their smalls and waits for the taxi driver to find that 35 cents change.

This timeless piece of fabric engineering has provided ample support for the male package for many years.

Unfortunately, the better sex holds no patience for this practicality in light of its uncompromising visual display. While the presentation of budgie smugglers instils confidence that you’re the sort of guy who can reverse-park a trailer, it presents the wearer as someone

The cotton boxers are a great way to obtain modesty with a bit of style, provided you steer clear of juvenile prints, slogans and anything at all from Joe Boxer. A good cotton boxer is an asset in the bedroom, you will be taken as a dapper gent who presents an air of mystery as the cotton boxer covers up a lot and leaves something for the imagination.

A small change to the briefs is the white, cotton ‘Y’ front.

Despite this garment being practically the same size as the briefs with the addition of a small fold in the front, it paints a vastly different picture about the wearer’s tribal heritage.

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Reflection.

Photo by Eloise Warren A relative of the cotton boxers is the silk boxers.

This declining garment was once reserved only for the mega-rich, however with the refinement of nylon and the loser interpretation of the word ‘silk’ a pair of these will now set you back as little as five dollars. You will undoubtedly come across as cheap. However, if you dress well, wear gold chains and keep the transition brief, you have a chance of getting away with it.

Another classic is the chosen crotch cover of the athlete, the jockstrap. The origin of this visual slap dates back to the 1600s with the adoption of the codpiece, which was

"THE PRESENTATION OF BUDGIE SMUGGLERS INSTILS CONFIDENCE THAT YOU'RE THE SORT OF GUY WHO CAN

Little has changed, with many of the current wearers failing to choose this piece for its intended sporting purpose. Parading a pair of these bad-boys will let an audience know that they have taken up lodgings at the pump-station.

The designer trunks are the pinnacle of men’s underwear; this is the underwear you are likely to find a celebrity wearing on a Time Square billboard and regularly receives similar high status advertising, which has developed its prestige. You are likely to have to fork out for a good brand, but to wear it is to be the tribal leader.

Regardless of your choice, if they have holes in them, come in packs of ten, are from a past girlfriend or have stains on them, ensure that they don’t reach human eyes. And next time you are looking to add weight to your smalls draw, have some consideration for what your underwear says about you, because the fibre of a man is measured by the fabric between his legs.

REVERSE-PARK A TRAILER." used as a means of inflating the perception of dominant masculinity and as a side benefit, protecting its contents.

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Justin Heazelwood’s quirky onstage presence as The Bedroom Philosopher has seen him rise from an alienated outsider to a well-established musician, comedian and writer with an ARIA nominated album and a regular column with Frankie magazine. Heazelwood talks to Julius Ross about how Melbourne takes itself too seriously, how Flight of the Concords stole his act, growing up in ‘isolated’ Burnie and his dream about Tina Arena on a Mexican space station.

Those who have heard your work as The Bedroom Philosopher would find it hard to fit your style into a particular genre. How would you define your musical style or do you prefer to be categorised as a comedian?

I don’t even care anymore. I just don’t care how I’m categorised. If you find me funny; I’m a comedian, if you don’t find me funny I’m a musician. And if you don’t like my music I’m a performance artist. If you don’t like my performance art, I’m just a knob.

[Laughs] Regardless of genre, your latest production, Songs from the 86 Tram, won a lot of appraisal, including an ARIA nomination. Would you consider it your most successful production yet? What is your personal favourite track on this album?

Probably Sudanese. Just because it was such a challenge [to write]. Because we exist in such a politically correct age, everyone is so precious about being racist that it has gotten to the point where, especially my generation [Gen Y], they pretty much don’t mention anyone who is different for fear of offending them.

[Sudanese] was just an attempt to try and use the role of comedy and satire to ease the suggestions of all this political shit. So I thought I’d have a crack at an accent mirroring a Sudanese refugee on a tram to make it more about culturaldifferences between Australia and Africa. [I tried to] find ways to make humour that isn’t just making fun of the 28

Interview.

Julius Ross

fact they are a poor country with a lot of warfare. Like, trying to get used to predictive text — I’ve got this line “I sent a message to my relatives saying hello aunt, but it came out very different,” that one always gets a big laugh. It’s good to have slightly controversial subject matter…

Of particular appeal on the album was your satirical piss-take on trendy Melbournians, particularly in the song Northcote (So Hungover). As a Tassie boy, was this piss-take born from your own perception of Melbourians?

Yeah. I can’t imagine someone who grew up in Melbourne or Sydney writing that song. Same goes for a lot of my material; I enjoy my perspective from an outsider status, which only growing up in Burnie, Tasmania, can give you. I’ve only just realised how much of an outsider I really am. I went to New York for the first time recently — I’d never been out of Australia — and I realised Australia is essentially a Tasmania of the world. We’re completely isolated from the ‘mainland’. Coming from Burnie I couldn’t be more disconnected from the world.

But I think Melbourne is the capital of cool in Australia and takes itself very fucking seriously. So it’s sort of Satire 101; if you just look at the subgroups that take themselves the most seriously, they are the ones that are most fun to make fun of. There were indie kids and there were emos and now it’s hipsters — that’s the kind of blanket term that people use to sum up a wide range of young ‘cool’ people. People would make fun of emos but it was never with the same level of venom that we make fun of hipsters; people are like “fucking hipsters, I’m so sick of them”.

I think one of the main things the song points out is the way hipsters are going into this weird hybrid pseudoAmerican accent and saying ‘like’ every third word and putting an inflection on everything. Australia has become so Americanised for so long that the next level will be we actually are talking like them; I find it extremely disturbing.

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Could you say the album was an attempt at exploring and defining modern Australian identity?

Oh, totally. I think I’ve been trying to do that for ages; with songs such as Golden Gaytime, there are always uniquely Australian things that couldn’t correspond anywhere else. I think it’s a revolt against growing up with pretty much nothing but American and British MTV shows and culture.

I was pretty anti-Australian music until I was about 21; I never owned any Australian albums and I had this belief in my head that anything Australian couldn’t be very good, and that was a commonly held belief. So I wouldn’t consider myself a political artist, but I suppose [the album] is a political statement. If we don’t create things that are uniquely Australian — and Arts is one of the main modes to capture our society as it is — we might as well be fucking American.

Other Australians — mainlanders as we like to call them — often have a humorous view of Tasmanians.

Have you thought about doing a song or album on stereotypical Tasmanians? What would your stereotype of a Tasmanian be?

[Laughs] Possibly. Josh Earl [Australian comedian of The Renegades of Folk] has had a crack at that with I’m living on the Mainland — a satirical rock song — saying “shops are open on a Sunday!” and “I went to Myer and I saw Lou from Neighbours buying something!” [Laughs].

I wrote a column for Frankie about my Tassie experiences and I kind of came up with a ‘Tasmanian National Anthem’: “Australian’s please let us rejoin/For it is one degree.

With oldies loyal and health in turmoil/Our shops are shut by three.

Our land is ground into nature’s chips/Forestry’s stripped us bare.

It’s a mystery gays were allowed to stay/Advance Tasmania where?

With employment strained the young jump ship/Advance Tasmania where?” …which I occasionally pull out at Tassie gigs. It’s pretty damn harsh. I like to rip on Tassie a bit, as much as I know I’m a red-hot target for spite — being a Tasmanian who has now moved to Melbourne; a total traitor.

Many Tasmanians have to move elsewhere off the ‘island’ to pursue their careers. Did you find it was necessary to move to Melbourne to pursue your aims or was it a matter of choice?

It sort of happened by accident. My game plan in year 12 was to do a cadetship with The Advocate and stay in Burnie and that was my only option. I was probably one of the most creative-minded, artistic and musical people at Helleyer College, yet I didn’t even think for a second about other states.

I attribute that to Burnie being a bit isolated; no one had really planted ideas in my head to think outside the state, let alone outside Australia. Looking back, that just amazes me; I don’t really think that’s necessarily too healthy… I’m not attacking Burnie as a place to go or a place to live, but having met a lot of people from the mainland who said “oh, I’ve just lined up University in England or America” opened up my mind a bit.

I just kind of chanced upon Canberra to do professional writing as a degree; I picked up a pamphlet and did it on a whim. And I’m really glad because I think you have to travel to basically learn.

You come to Tasmania to play a gig every so often, do you enjoy being back on home soil?

Yeah, I really enjoyed a gig I did at the Alley Cat in North Hobart, and I did an all ages gig. Falls is good, although admittedly in 2009 I had a terrible time. I ended up with no mobile phone coverage, single and feeling this emotional hangover from the year previous, wandering around surrounded by 19-year-olds, full of self-loathing in 30 degree heat in a one-man tent. So I think I enjoyed it a little bit more this time around.

Have you ever felt scared to take the stage?

No, I’m more scared off stage. On stage I know what I’m doing a lot more I’ve got my material. Off stage ­— wandering around the VIP tent at Falls for example, is much more terrifying. Wondering whether I should go up and talk to the Dandy Warhols or just think about it for two hours.

Aside from The Bedroom Philosopher front, you’ve also been making a name for yourself as journalist Justin Heazelwood with Frankie. Do you feel a sense of satisfaction writing for an Australian alternative magazine?

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Interview.

Yeah, totally. I like to have a finger in many pies and writing-wise; that’s the degree I did at Uni. Frankie is very cool and it does take being cool very seriously.

When I had a segment on Triple J’s morning show I sort of felt this incredible adrenaline rush of being plugged into my generation and having a sense of a community of people like me, which I really needed because I was sick of feeling like a total outsider and… in the minority.

Growing up in Burnie I was part of a small collection of weird arty kids and even in Canberra where I did Uni, everyone was pretty conservative and I was the only one wearing second-hand clothes and the only one trying to start up a music society and play gigs.

Yeah, they’ve stolen my whole act and my look. I’m still reeling from the damage. I had a song called Folkstar in 2005 which was all ironic about folk music and now that’s their stick and Jermaine has sideburns and glasses… comedy’s a tough gig.

So when I first saw Frankie, I thought ‘what is this thing, I need to be involved in this’.

You wrote an article earlier this year on love, opening with the somewhat depressing sentence “every thirteen minutes a relationship in Australia ends”. How’s is Mr Heazelwood’s love life at the moment? Keep it G-Rated.

[Laughs] I can’t talk about my personal life! I try to keep it separate! Well I have girlfriend, so I’m happier, but my art is going to suffer and you can expect the next album to not be so good.

A real artist needs to define themself with a stage name. Run us through the story of how you acquired ‘The Bedroom Philosopher’?

I had a dream that I was on board a Mexican space station with Tina Arena and we were in bed and she wanted to make me space crumpets. The ‘Bedroom Philosopher’ was the password she used to activate the computer settings. So it seemed logical.

It’s a clichéd question but one that has to be asked; what’s on the horizon for Justin Haezelwood?

I’m going to try and go festival mad and pull a ‘Tim Minchin’ out of my arse and go to Edinburgh and become all ‘appreciated’. I’ve always felt like I’d do well in the UK because they like intelligent absurdity. So assuming that Tim Minchin and Flight of the Concords haven’t used my form of comedy, I’m going to try… and show everyone how good I am.

You mention Flight of the Concords. Have you ever had any comparisons to them and does that piss you off or are you happy to be compared to them?

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Ella Kearney Yes, I admit, there are a couple of things exclusive to Tassie/Hobart that leave us open for scrutiny, albeit not many. I am Tassie-centric, I ain’t gon’ lie.

It is true that just about every person over 18 has hooked up with at least 80% of the people their friends have hooked up with. At least we can compare notes… “Oh don’t go near Ray-Ray, he’s a mad-ass player”. Reggie from Big Brother was another Tassie downfall. Yeah, everyone loved her, but at the end of the day she was pretty much illiterate. The only other thing I can think of that brings Tassie down is that papier mâché seal that cruises round on the Hobart airport luggage conveyor belt, “hey visitor from other side of the world, look what we have to offer… a Grade 6 science project chillin’ on the conveyor belt” (gets ya every time).

When Tassie peeps are on the mainland we are mostly bagged for being a) incestuous b) small c) provincial and having d) poor weather. Every time someone from the mainland makes some lame-ass joke about Tassie people having two heads or Tassie people getting jiggy with their siblings I want to head butt them. Yes, I admit, the pool of candidates for shagging is fairly shallow — but we aren’t resorting to siblings… yet. Judging a place for being small is like judging someone for being short, it ain’t their fault.

As for the old “Tassie is backward” stance, this usually comes from some bum who lives in Newcastle or Bendigo and thinks that because they are in NSW or Victoria that makes them superior; “well, we’re kinda near Sydney/ Melbourne”. Newsflash ­— nightlife in Newcastle is so imbued with violence that all clubs have a curfew, no one is allowed shots and all glassware is plastic-ware. I can’t emphasize how annoying it is when rural/regional/ outer suburb mainlanders think they are the shit. You guys are like Tassie, without the scenery. As for weather, Melbourne rains more, na na na boogie.

Sure, we get bagged out when we’re on the mainland, but when we are overseas Tasmania becomes quite exotic. Not many people have heard of our little island, so ‘Tasmania’ can be anything you want it to be. Yeah, we have Tassie tigers still. Yeah, it’s 30 degrees every day. Yeah, there are shit loads of whales in the Derwent.

Yeah, I have a koala in my garden. “Yeah, everyone’s hot and the girls are horny.” I have been known to talk it up quite a bit. Then again, am I really talking it up? Where else can you get a park just by the picturesque waterfront on a Saturday night? Or drive for 30 minutes and be at a beautiful beach with barely a soul in sight. Where else can you roll up to the clubs solo and be sure to know at least 32

Feature. a quarter of the crowd? There’s no place like Tassie if you want to feel like a celeb. We’ve got a pretty special music festival, a world class food festival and we’re home to the largest and arguably most innovative private art collection in the southern hemisphere (MONA)… but I guess that doesn’t compare with the ‘Big Beer Can” or whatever it is they have in Newy.

Michael Voss As Tasmanians we seem to cop a lot of abuse from the Mainland. In fact, I can’t recall a time where I went on an interstate adventure and didn’t cop at least one joke at my expense. The reason is, in my mind, nothing more than jealousy.

We have a pretty sweet little deal going on down here and I think Mainlanders heap piles of shit onto us because they know it. Sure, we don’t have the sweet, trendy population of, say, Melbourne, but personally I’d rather trade in an abundance of overpriced op-shops for rent that doesn’t require me to work 50 hours a week just to subsist on red kidney beans and soft cheese for what we’ve got down here.

Sure we all talk a big game about leaving Tassie, but I think deep down the majority of us know that this is our home and like a magnet we will all be drawn back. I like to think that something about us links us together in a way that people from other states seem to lack ­— how else can you explain that every time you go away on a trip you seem to run into someone from Tasmania? And I’m not just talking about interstate ­— it seems to happen internationally as well.

I think it’s because of these links that Tasmania seems to be one of the few places where you can forge a number of incredibly strong friendships that have the fortitude to last from primary school right through to university and beyond.

There is a lot of laughter at our expense on the grounds that that we are all somehow related, because there only seems to be about two degrees of separation — someone always knows of someone else when they meet.

I personally love my cousins, but not in that way. While some people seem to find this to be a bit of a curse — as reputations and secrets rarely stay intact — I find it a blessing that no matter where you seem to go you can fit in quite nicely.

I like that you can go to a party, or a wedding, knowing only one other person, and by the end of the night know the majority of the people there. Tasmanians are

a friendly, accommodating bunch of people. We are a unique breed that combines the best of our convict heritage with the complexities of our modern day lineage.

Sometimes I think we take for granted what we have. We have a good climate, a good economy, good schools and a fantastic environment. Tasmania is literally an island paradise, and I for one am more than happy to cop a few jokes at the expense of my pride if it means that rather than going the way of our beloved Tasmanian Tiger, it remains that way for my children, and their children too.

Emily Woodgate Did you know Tasmanian Devils pass on facial tumors because they’re so inbred? Lucky the people don’t bite each other!

HAHAHAHA. Tosser.

People react differently when they hear you’re from Tassie. Some stare intently like you’re an anthropological experiment; a modern-day Galapagos tortoise of sorts.

Others are indifferent. Tasmania is only interesting as a far-off cornucopia of gourmet produce.

You’d be more appealing on a Double Bay restaurant menu.

Inevitably you’ll be asked whether you need a passport to cross Bass Strait, and were you held up in customs?

Ahahahahahahaha. Hahaha. Ha. My boyfriend’s from Sydney, so I’ve copped a lot of this. When meeting someone new, fingers and toes are dutifully displayed to prove I have the requisite amount.

I let strangers leer at my neck, just so they can be sure there’s no scar where my other head used to be. All of which is just soooo funny because I’ve never heard that before, ever! They chortle and swig on their Boags Premo.

Boyfriend kicks me under the table.

Once you’ve defended your genetic diversity, the patronising assumptions quickly follow.

“Oh my God, you’re from Tassie?

Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute! It’s so tiny there!”

“Oh, you’ve been?”

“No. Oh my God, is this your first time out of Tasmaaaaaania? I bet you’re freaking OUT!” It transpired this particular girl had never been overseas, rarely travelled interstate and hated going into Sydney 33

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"Once you’ve defended your genetic diversity, the patronising assumptions quickly follow."

CBD. “Oh my God, you’re a Western Suburbs Bible-belt princess? Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!”

It’s worse overseas. I spent a year in Northern Ireland in 2006, where 16 internationals lived in a three-story hovel.

After six months we decided to have a cultural night. The Polish girl asked why I was preparing with the Aussies.

“Because… I’m Australian.”

“But aren’t you from Africa?”

“I’m from Tasmania.”

She looked at me blankly.

“Tasmania… not Tanzania!”

She looked at me blankly.

“Never mind. Want a lamington?”

The Turkish guy thought Tasmania was a country in its own right. Kind of like New Zealand, but better.

Despite the ridicule, we’re lucky to be Taswegian. First, you’re a big fish in a little pond. It’s easier to stand out, get your foot in that door. Second, you can be an innovator.

Tassie’s a bit behind the mainland, fine, we get it. But that means you can be at the forefront of development and change, having learnt from the big cities’ mistakes.

Finally, when we do convince our North Island brethren to journey to this microcosm of ours, they love it. All of them.

Unless it’s snowing in December.

Melbourne’s water tastes like Clarence Pool swimming carnivals, circa 1998. You have to live in a $4.7 million cardboard box for a water view in Sydney. And Brisbane… well, God bless you, Brisbane. All I’m saying is, if Charles Darwin were alive today, Tassie is the place he’d be most interested in. Except for maybe Darwin. Although I can’t imagine why, I’ve heard it’s tiny there…

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Feature.

Jessica Lyndon Togatus’ Jessica Lyndon chats with Ryan Caesar from Children Collide about their latest album Theory of Everything, culinary delights on tour and interviewers that think his music is shit. Which Togatus doesn’t.

JESSICA: Togatus literally got the album delivered one minute ago, opened it and a tarot card fell out! Were the themed website and tarot cards the band’s idea?

RYAN: The tarot card theme was our idea I believe; it wasn’t my idea. It was Johnny [Mackay, vocals and lead guitar] and Heath’s [Crawley, bass] concept of tarot cards and their meanings influencing the album… not sure about the actual physical tarot cards inside the album or the website but they’re cool aren’t they?! The tarot cards are all tied to different song titles. Which one did you get?

We got ‘The Moon’ which is the track Complacency No Vacancy. What does that mean?

I have no idea what ‘The Moon’ is, but I know the song!

Theory of Everything came out in August, what have you been doing since then?

Everything has been really good since then, we’ve done a couple of tours and [gone] to America and now we’re doing [Australian] festivals. It’s been great to see things get bigger after you’ve worked for them.

You recorded Theory of Everything in Los Angeles, what mischief did you get up to over there?

Yeah, we recorded half in LA, half in Collingwood [with Woody Annison], which is a bit of a contrast! LA is great, I love it over there. For the first album we were there for three months and have been back since. We’ve got some good friends there and I always stay in the same couple of blocks so you know where your local 7/11 is [laughs]. Rob [Schnapf, American producer], is a legend and so is his right hand man Doug. Rob’s worked with The Vines for two albums I think, and Powderfinger. They love their Aussies. One day Doug and I were standing outside the studio we were recording at which has a sister studio over the road, and I said ‘when I was a kid I really liked this album by Kyuss, Blues for the Red Sun’. And he goes ‘Oh yeah… I recorded that just there’ and pointed over the road. It was pretty insane.

Theory of Everything ended up debuting at number five on the Australian charts, was that something you expected?

That was really cool; the other album debuted at like some unknown number. [Togatus tells Caesar it was 74] Yeah, something like that, you know more than me! And the week before this album was going to be released, I hadn’t even thought about what number it would debut at and one of the label guys was saying in passing ‘Oh yeah you know, we’re hoping to get a top ten’ and I went ‘What? Shit!’ and all of a sudden there was this expectation and I was like, ‘oh man I hope we don’t disappoint anyone!’

I didn’t really know how to gauge it, and when it got top five it was absolutely crazy!

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The song The Eagle is meant to sound like ‘my ego’, right? How are your egos after the success of album number two?

The producer Rob was trying to convince Johnny to sing ‘my ego’… but it didn’t happen. I spend less time with the band — although a lot of time as a band — I tend not to go out in the crowd because I’m not very good socially… mostly everything’s normal and then every now and then we’ll play a gig that’s like a thousand people or something, and that’s weird. But we don’t get stopped on the street or anything… The front man definitely gets all the attention, but I prefer it that way.

It’s not really my thing… I’m not witty enough. Having a frown on my face keeps people away [laughs].

Did you notice a difference between touring your debut record The Long Now and this one?

It’s always hard when you book a tour before the album has been released, as you’ve got to guess what size venue to play. There’s always apprehension, like ‘Are we about to play a big empty venue?!’ But we upped the sizes of venues for some of the tours and they sold out. Also, we’ve been doing some regional touring which is something we never thought we’d be able to do — places in regional Victoria and New South Wales.

You’ve had a couple of gigs in Tassie recently, one of which was at the Republic Bar in North Hobart.

Every time we go there it’s the culinary destination of the tour — the lamb shanks there are the best thing ever.

They’re soooo good.

I take it they’re a favourite menu choice then?

That’s my favourite on the menu of every tour I’ve ever done, anywhere. It’s the best food you’ll ever get! I love lamb shanks. Republic is great. You walk in there and you’re like ‘this is a fucking cafe’, but it turns into an intense awesome place at night time! Last time we were there was this poetry reading with like 20 or 30 older wizard-types drinking red wine and reading poetry, and then we sound checked — which was very loud and rude!

[Republic] has got a really good reputation among the touring circuit and bands. A lot of places don’t look after you at all, but the Republic do.

That’s a good rap for the Republic! And you also came to Marion Bay Falls?

We did Tassie falls this year as well as Lorne; we’ve only ever done Lorne before. Marion Bay was a lot cooler than I thought it was going to be. I wasn’t sure what it was going to look like. It’s pretty beautiful… but as much as I love festivals, I couldn’t go to one and be out there and camp — it’s intense!

What are the logistics of doing both Falls Festivals?

We went home after Lorne for about 20 minutes and woke up and went to Tassie. It’s not that bad, being only an hour flight… the only bad thing is that there aren’t many flights 36

Interview.

"I get all the regional university newspaper interviews and I swear, it’s not that they haven’t heard of the band, it’s that they actually don’t like the band..!

It’s like ‘Why is your music so shit?

Why do I hate you so much?’"

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"But these days I like to look back and say ‘you did years and years of that’ and now I’ve got someone else that does it for me!

So it sucks for him… but he gets paid, I never got paid."

between Melbourne and Tassie. Heath’s luggage got lost so he was playing in someone else’s shirt for the gig!

Do you bring your own kit?

Nah, there’s a hire one, which is way easier than bringing my own kit. Being the drummer you always have to pack up more than everyone else and carry more stuff. You’re there before anyone and after everyone leaves, yeah… it fucking sucks. But these days I like to look back and say ‘you did years and years of that’ and now I’ve got someone else that does it for me! So it sucks for him… but he gets paid, I never got paid.

As a kid, did you dream to play drums for a career?

I always hoped it would be my source of income but it’s never been the main reason. There’s never been anything else that I wanted to do and I don’t think there will ever be anything else I want to do. It’s hard to make money in Australia playing music, especially playing drums. We’ll see if that always keeps me employed or whether I’ll have to go visit my friends at Centrelink again, I don’t know!

So what is Children Collide like from the inside — are there any personality collisions?

We spend a lot of time together and there’s definitely ups and downs, but whether you like it or not you’ve got to find a way through it, ‘cause you’ve gotta play a gig tomorrow. Also, I joined the band later, after a couple of years. They’d had three other drummers and then me.

I’d known Heath for a while, just from being drunk in different parts of Melbourne basically, and I just tried out.

There were another couple that tried out from some pretty cool bands so it was good to be chosen.

I bet they’re kicking themselves now! Do you play much of a role in song writing?

We write in a lot of different ways — I obviously don’t write lyrics or melodies but song structure we do together and I have a bigger part in arrangements. We write in different ways, sometimes Johnny will record something on his computer at home — he loves playing with his

computer. And other times we just write in the rehearsal room. Everywhere you can think of, we write.

The track Future Monks has a little bit of Wolfmother about it, do you have some Australian musical influences?

Johnny likes Wolfmother a lot and we’re kind of friendly with Tame Impala. I’ll give a few Melbourne bands a plug: Deaf Wish who broke up — I went to one of their gigs and it was one of the best gigs I’ve ever seen in my life. They’re kind of noisy, so it’s a funny name. Also, this guy Craig has a couple of bands, one is called Scott and Charlene’s Wedding and now he’s in a band called Divorce.

Most awkward interview question?

When you get stock standard questions and you have a line of interviews in a row and they’re expecting to talk to either Johnny or Heath ‘cause they’re asking about lyrics or the early days of the band that I wasn’t involved with, the interviews can get really bad… which this hasn’t been by the way! You just feel like an idiot in yourself and if anyone is in the room with you listening to you say the same thing ten times in a row and trying to be enthusiastic, it’s a bit awkward.

But yeah, I get all the regional university newspaper interviews, and I swear, it’s not that they haven’t heard of the band, it’s that they actually don’t like the band!

It’s like, ‘Why is your music so shit? Why do I hate you so much?’ [Laughs] We don’t hate you! So what’s on the cards (pun intended) for 2011?

The plan for 2011? We have some demo time booked in, but we haven’t actually written anything. The plan is to get the next record out even quicker than the last one.

And on theme of Tarot cards and fortune telling, if you had one wish for your 2011 destiny, what would it be?

Just that everything is going to be all right. That everything is going to be all right for everyone.

That’s sweet!

I know, what a guy! [Laughs]

Jessica Lyndon The thing I hate most about myself is my addiction to soft-core bookshelf porn (www.bookshelfporn.com).

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Feature.

Bec Chirichiello “We need to leave in five minutes, or they will kill me.”

A whisper, spoken urgently.

I check Sergio’s face, hoping that he is joking, but he isn’t. We wait tensely. Then I am walking, urging my legs not to run.

I’m at the main door now and the relief is flooding through me until I turn and realise that Sergio is still in there, just standing up.

My eyes lock on him and indecision takes control over my body. I don’t want to leave him, but I’m also painfully aware that my skin colour can explode the tension simmering in the room. I also just want to get out of this hall.

Thankfully, Sergio strides past me and then we are with the others. The cool air of La Paz, Bolivia, hits me and we walk quickly into the night. In relief and shock I feel pumping adrenalin, my every muscle alive and alert.

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"As the miners chip on, driven by poverty, the mountain will crumble more often, killing as it goes."

Dark streets, a car crash, restaurants. The city blurs by as we race away in a seatbeltless taxi. I’ve stopped feeling everything in my body. I struggle to understand how a night debate about diversity in Bolivia has ended here.

Back in the hall, an indigenous Amyaran academic had insulted a white female academic and glared at me and my white friends. A question repeats itself, again and again, scrolling through my head like a line of a catchy song.

How did we get here?

The answer is a long one, and in the taxi I think of a mine, a president and a country that’s stuck living in its history.

Bolivia is the geographical heartland of South America and like most of the continent, was aggressively colonised by the Spanish. The wealth of Bolivia, its silver deposits, were exploited at great human cost. This was concentrated around Cerro Rico (which translates as ‘rich mountain’) which was filled with silver. The city that the mines created was called Potosí, and became the biggest

city in the colonised Americas. When imported slaves died too quickly in the mines because they were unable to survive in the harsh high altitude conditions, the Spanish relied on the native people to keep the stream of silver flowing out of the region.

As well as being a painful memory in Bolivia, the legacy of colonisation lives on today. Poverty in Bolivia is the highest in South America, with 62.7 per cent of the population living under the national poverty line, according to UN figures. The mines at Potosí are still open, although the city is crumbling now that the silver has dried up. The streets are quiet and the mountain is naked. It makes Queenstown look like a marvel of natural abundance.

In the tunnels of the mines the air is dark, freezing; worn thin by sadness. Water leaks through the tunnel as a miner works. Most days he works 12 hours here, eating nothing but the coca leaves he chews, he tells me, his voice flat. Coca leaves are a good source of energy although after years of chewing them they have numbed his mouth. Using coca is an important tradition for Bolivians, who use it to help stave off hunger and sickness, although in recent times it has become a controversial crop, because it is also the basis for Cocaine.

In its leaf form, bundled in the side of the miner’s mouth, it is not strong enough to produce any drug-like effects.

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Feature.

This miner started working here, when his dad died. BBC reporters have estimated that of the 8000 or so workers in the mine, 1000 of these are children between the ages of eight and 12 years. This miner remembers that as a teenager, armed with a pick and dynamite he took over the family plot. He is 40-something now and after years of working in the mines he finds sunlight painful. He is old here; for a miner in Potosí life expectancy is 40 years.

ranging from Amazon to mountainous desert.

The story of Potosí is only one story in a multitude of Bolivian realities, however it is one of special importance to national history. To try and understand the story of Potosí, picture what Australia would be like now if Western Australia had suffered the same human cost for its natural resources.

It is said in Bolivia that if you used all the silver that the Spaniards took from just Cerro Rico in Potosí, you could build a bridge from the mountain all the way to Spain.

It is also said that if you used all the bodies of those who died working in that mine, you could build a bridge from Bolivia to Spain and back again.

When the Spanish left, Bolivia was a country sapped of an important source of wealth, with a huge gap between the rich and poor and a very volatile political situation. The history of Independent Bolivia is marked by corruption, civil unrest and institutionalised racism, mainly against the indigenous poor. In modern history these factors led to the Guerra de agua (water wars) in 2000 and in 2003, the Guerra de gas (war of the gas). These were both violent civil struggles where the population rose against the government and its neoliberal policies. These conflicts are very recent and many of my Bolivian friends including Sergio lived through them.

Because of stories like Potosí and the fact that Bolivia’s capital, La Paz, is the highest capital city in the world, Bolivia is often stereotyped as an indigenous Andean country. But this masks the fact that it is an extremely culturally and environmentally diverse place. There are over 36 ethnic groups in Bolivia, which has environments

In this turbulence, Evo Morales, an Amyaran Indian and coca grower, came to power. He promised to create a new Bolivia and empower the indigenous poor and narrow the huge wealth gap. Through a new constitution and many reforms he has done what he promised and promoted indigenous rights and knowledge.

The mines have turned the mountain into an old piece of Swiss cheese that crumbles in upon itself. There is hardly any silver left — most miners look for zinc now. As the miners chip on, driven by poverty, the mountain will crumble more often, killing as it goes.

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"As they cried “white whore” I was grabbed by an Amyara woman. She slammed the door safely behind us, crying to them, “We are all human!

We are all equal!”"

However, as his presidency progresses and he struggles to keep such a fractured country together he has started yielding stories of white oppression and using the history of Potosí as a tool to unite the diverse indigenous groups against a common foe. There is no homogenous indigenous group in Bolivia and Morales has had trouble gaining support from indigenous peoples from different ethnic backgrounds.

As race relations regains its place as a cornerstone of Bolivian politics, racial tension in the streets of Bolivia is increasing. In the start of 2010 Non-Government Organisations [NGOs] were reporting a steep increase in race related crimes.

In spite of, or maybe because of this situation, Bolivian youths are moving together to try and create grassroots change. Geraldine Paredes Vasquez is a 29-year-old Bolivian and head of WHY Bolivia, an NGO that tries to break down racial barriers and empower young people. She knows that youth are the key to rebuilding her country, and that young leaders need to question their prejudices to stop the vicious cycle of racism.

WHY creates a space for young people from different socio-economic, political and ethnic backgrounds to meet, reflect and become leaders, often through short leadership camps. Vasquez believes in the power of the individual to challenge their prejudices.

She refuses to compromise on her commitment to equality and deep lasting change; although she knows it would be easier to get foreign aid if she focused more on indigenous rights or increased the outreach of WHY at the expense of the program’s quality. Vasquez is not alone, as foreign assistance comes mostly from passionate young people from different parts of the world. Monika Piessens, a 23-year-old Dutch citizen, came to Bolivia to help

Vasquez, and through humour and kindness managed to break down some race barriers in Bolivia.

My friend Sergio is a WHY member. He and another young man had both stood up and questioned the anti-white messages at the debate we later fled together. Neither of them are white. They were attempting to remind the academics that Bolivia has just voted to become a multinational state, one that makes space for all ways of being Bolivian. Their words created outrage and it had been hard to hear them over the angry whistles in the hall.

In my time in Bolivia there were many other moments when I felt uncomfortable or threatened because I am white. Each time I felt unsafe and angry. But it’s not just my experience, the issue is widespread and people from all ethnic groups are victims and perpetrators.

The scariest moment was when I was walking to buy bread and ran into a group of drunk Amyaran men, taunting me. As they cried “white whore” I was grabbed by an Amyara woman. She slammed the door safely behind us, crying to them, “We are all human! We are all equal!” before throwing the bolt to secure the door.

Bec Chirichiello The thing that I hate most about myself is that I had a Hanson poster up for two years.

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Feature.

Jessica Hancock

To all the beer-drinkers, goon-swillers and those who still haven’t given up alco-pops, I would like to introduce you to a certain beverage which some of us like to refer to as wine (no, goon is not wine, deal with it). You may associate wine with your parents or the pretentious world of art openings (or waking up with a goon pillow… but I reiterate: goon is not wine!). Yet you too can achieve a certain classiness without the pretence with just a few basic guidelines.

To not complicate the issue unduly, wine is fermented fruit juice (almost always from grapes), and comes in four main forms: red, white, rosé and sparkling (Passion Pop is also not a wine). Wines with more than 15 per cent alcohol are classified as fortified wines, and are created by adding brandy or neutral spirits to wine.

The differences between the three “table wines” are from the types of grapes used. White wines use white grapes (these are, enigmatically, the green ones), red wines use black grapes (a curious title, as these are a dark red or blue fruit) and rosés use black grapes too, but the grape skins are only in contact with the juices for a short time (hence the lighter colour). The black grape skins are also the

reason for the tannin flavour in reds that separate them from the others.

Most red and white wines that we buy are varietals; that is, the wine is made from a minimum 85 per cent of one type of grape variety. The other aspects that contribute to the wine’s flavour are the environment (this is so integral in Europe that the wines are named for places — such as Burgundy or Bordeaux, rather than varietals), whether the wine has been aged in an oak cask, and the vintage (the year the grapes were harvested). This is displayed on the side of most wines.

Although some wines do improve with ageing, most of the wines — especially whites and rosés — that a uni student is likely to buy will be fresher and more enjoyable if consumed immediately. ‘Immediately’ within reason.

Because, yes, drinking on the street outside the bottle shop is illegal.

Sparkling wine, on the other hand, is a naturally carbonated wine made by fermenting the wine a second time and adding sugar and yeast in an enclosed environment to create bubbles. The most famous sparkling wine comes from Champagne, France, and although we tend to use the term loosely ‘Champagne’ only technically refers to wine from this area (which I can guarantee that reading this article will not alter for anyone).

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Feature.

If you’re not a wine drinker, then my suggestion is to become one. You never know when you’ll be presented with the opportunity for free wine at a work function or at a parents’, friends’ or neighbours’ dinner party, and at least knowing which form of wine you prefer will allow you to make the most of your free-alcohol experience. For those with a sweet tooth, start with moscarto (which tastes almost like drinking juice it’s so sweet) or add juice or berries to your white wine or champagne (on that note, no, Sea Breezes aren’t wine either, sorry). A good baby steps wine is sauvignon blanc because it’s easy to drink and it’s always on the menu. For those who enjoy the tannin in black tea, start with a subtle merlot or a hot, spiced mulled/gluh wine. The latter is also heaps of fun to make too, as the smells are divine.

The best way to find out what you like is to keep trying. Wines at restaurants are often ridiculously expensive, but you can buy wines by the glass and match them with food. The general rule is red with heavy, strong flavours or meat, and white with fish, but rules are only made to be broken. Even better, begin to nick sips from any of your friends’ wine, or — goodness forbid — buy your own. Look for sales, and buying cases of 6 or more wines will almost always bring a discount. Clean skins are also a cheap way to acquire some often surprisingly good wine. My favourite place for all things wine would have to be the Tasmanian Wine Centre on Goulburn Street, Hobart (sorry to everyone in Launceston and Burnie!).

Advice from the experts? Sabine Duval of the Wine Society recommends listening to your palate — “be adventurous and try different styles of wine to determine your tastes” — while — Sheralee Davies from the Tasmanian Wine Society recommends making the most out of our own backyard. “The best way to experience Tasmania's wines is to visit one of the 90 or so cellar doors located around the state, the vast majority of which are located within an easy drive of Hobart or Launceston.”

True enjoyment of wine only comes with time and experience, but with increased training of the tastebuds, this time can be significantly reduced. And finally: goon is NOT wine!

Student Guide to Whites

Student Guide to Reds

Chardonnay: Full bodied, medium/high acidity, rich, oaked (vanilla, butterscotch, smoky, spicy, toasty flavours), fruity, dry or off-dry (traditionally).

Cabernet Sauvignon: Medium/full bodied, firm acidity, high tannin, oaked, black fruit flavours (plum, cherry, currant), inexpensive version: soft and fruity, expensive version: rich and firm (often blended with merlot overseas, often blended with shiraz in Australia).

Sauvignon Blanc: Light/medium bodied, high acidity, unoaked, earthy or fruity though often herbaceous or “grassy”, dry, Kiwi ones are well-renowned.

Pinot Grigio (Pinot Gris): Medium/ full bodied, low acidity, crisp and light, unoaked, dry or off-dry.

Semillon (can be known as Riesling in Australia): Light/medium bodied, low acidity, oaked or unoaked, subtly herbaceous.

Merlot: Full body, low tannin, black fruit flavours, light and soft.

Pinot Noir: Medium/high acidity, medium/ low tannin, fruity or earthy.

Shiraz (Syrah elsewhere in the world): Medium/full bodied, firm tannin, peppery and black fruit flavours.

Riesling (look for Rhine Riesling): Light bodied, high acidity, unoaked, crisp, fruity/ flowery or earthy, sweet.

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Steps to drinking wine in a proper, snobby manner STEP ONE Uncork bottle in professional, efficient manner.

The easiest way of achieving this is by buying a screw top and thus eliminating the challenge altogether.

STEP TWO Pour the wine into a suitable glass (squat Burgundy glass for red, slightly slimmer Bordeaux glass for white, flute for Champagne. Introduce these terms smoothly into the conversation as witty, off-hand comments). Holding the bottom of the bottle when pouring the wine makes you look proficient and experienced. On the other hand, dropping the bottle or spilling the wine looks less impressive, so only try this on the first bottle. Fill to the widest part of a wine glass and twirl the bottle as you finish to avoid drops.

For champagne, insert the neck of the bottle into the glass as far as it will go and slowly tip both together until you reach two to three fingers width from the top. Voila!

STEP THREE Only try this step if the glass is less than half full and only for reds, whites and rosés. Comment on the rich/clear/ obscure adjective colour of the liquid. Swirl the wine in the glass, without tilting the glass. Gently inhale the aroma of the wine, comment on the “nose” of the wine elaborately, emphasising the “floral bouquet” of whites and the “chocolate/plum/blackcurrant tones” of red.

Comment approvingly/tut condescendingly on the “legs” or “tears” — the wine that continues running down the side of the glass after you’ve finished swirling it. Actually, these have to do with the alcohol and body of the wine and don’t tell you much, but nobody has to know that.

STEP FOUR Take a sip of wine, roll it over your tongue and — if desired — gurgle. This involves pursing the lips, sucking in air over the tongue and wine, and gurgling slightly to

allow the vaporised wine to reach the olfactory bulb via the nasal canal. Swallow and then comment on both the flavour of the wine, as well as the “finish” or aftertaste.

Nod slowly while favouring the sweetness/viscosity/fruity palate over the acidity/light body/oaky texture. Advantage of gurgling: look like a pro. Disadvantage: look like an idiot. Adjust according to company.

STEP FIVE Declare judgement upon wine. Preferably, that you’ve tasted better, but that such a wine is acceptable.

CONCLUSION Stick to your budget — you can get great bottles of wine for $10-$25.

Buying 6 or more bottles often entails a discount.

Cleanskins (wine bottles without the pretty labels) are quite cheap.

Take a few friends to a wine cellar.

TIPS FOR THE CONTINUAL ENJOYMENT OF WINE Keep opened wine bottles in the fridge and they can keep for at least a week or two. Or better, finish the bottle in one go.

Advance wine vocabulary. Adjectives are great, foreign nouns (particularly proper nouns) are useful, verbs are always exciting, but decidedly less useful when referring to wine.

Jessica Hancock The thing I hate most about myself is my appetite for brains… nom nom nom.

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Photo by Pete Gibson

Mark Stewart

THE JOB PEOPLE ENV Y

I was told by a former music festival organiser that my new job, as the organiser of The Soundscape Festival, is “a job that people envy, and that’s a nice feeling”. However, she also assured me that after leaving the industry, she would never again get back into that kind of role and after months of putting everything into this dream job, I began to understand why.

The stress, expectation and criticism had taken its toll.

Since early December I had had one day off, Christmas Day, and even that was spent dealing with two or three calls. My family, friends and girlfriend were all coming second, while The Soundscape Festival became the main concern of my life.

It is the ultimate deadline. We have one chance a year to get this right. We have one chance to perfect our marketing,

line-up and everything else that makes up a festival.

When a chance arises in this industry it has to be taken.

The project began for me early one Sunday morning on a couch in Mobius. I approached the festival owners, and with a little bit of Dutch courage, told them what I thought.

What was good and what was not so good. Being in my last year of an Economics and Arts degree I really had no basis for comment except knowing what I like in a festival.

I love live music. I love going to festivals. I wanted to make The Soundscape Festival 2011 the best ever. And the verdict?

The silent majority is just that, silent. While you will come across people who will offer constructive criticism, most are just willing to have a dig at the content and those who 46

Feature. are happy with your performance remain silent.

In the days following the Festival I received high fives and sincere emails. Most people noted that the set up was good, the line-up was better and they hardly had to queue at all. This is what I set out to achieve, a comfortable and enjoyable festival. There was however negative feedback, which inevitably you will receive.

Not everyone will have a good experience. After investing so much of yourself into the festival it becomes personal. Especially after a 14 hour day. The most frustrating thing is many of our apparent shortcomings were beyond our control.

That moment was as much for them as it was for anybody.

They stood side of stage as Basement Jaxx dropped the first song of their set.

Don’t ask me what happened during the week of the Festival. I remember pulling 12 to 15 hour days.

I remember eating a lot of pizza and sausages. I remember being in high demand as every contractor, staff member, agent and volunteer had a question.

I made eye contact with the people who I had shared an office with for several months. All that was needed was a nod of the head, a tilt of the beer can and a disgustingly wide and satisfied grin, shared in the knowledge of what we had achieved.

I remember saying to myself: “This is the last time”.

I turned and looked out in to the crowd. Over 6000 people were all moving to the music, most ankles deep in mud.

I know it sounds as clichéd as a midday movie, but that moment I realised I made it happen. It was at that moment I signed up for The Soundscape Festival 2012.

The time was 10:30pm on January 8, 2011. I watched as Simon and Felix from Basement Jaxx made their way up the stairs to the main stage. This was it; the moment people had been waiting for. I frantically rallied my staff and volunteers who had all worked so hard to make this day happen.

One girl asked her friend if she should rush onto the stage.

Her friend said no, pointing in my direction. “I’m not going to stop you,” I told her. She grabbed William Rees, lead singer of the Mystery Jets, and ran on stage followed

by Soundscape festival staff, the organising committee and volunteers. I watched as the people who had put their lives on hold for several months danced ecstatically with Basement Jaxx.

Photo by Max Ireland www.flickr.com/photos/arthurbest/ 47

MARIA

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S C I STO A

T he

W IT W E I V R N I NTE

CIARAN

BEAU

TOBY

MONTY 48

Interview.

Ciaran Van den Berg, lead singer of Tasmanian band The Stoics, who played recently at MONA FOMA, talks to Hannah McConnell about their debut album, and that babe from Cloud Control.

Hannah: There are five members in The Stoics, how and when did you form?

Ciaran: I honestly can't remember how it all got started.

Maria [Moles, vocals and piano] and I started kicking songs around in college with a friend of ours who played bass and then we recorded a really awful first EP. By some stroke of luck Triple J picked up a song off it, What You Want, and played it a lot in the lead up to their AWOL show in Burnie. We were given a spot on that show, which was awesome but also terrifying. We had barely learnt how to play our instruments and then we were up there in front of thousands of people screaming. I remember being really startled and shocked that they were screaming! We spent about the last four years working on getting really good at what we do. We just sort of snowballed into a five piece and now here we are with our first record deal and our first album coming out this year.

How would you describe the sound of The Stoics?

I'm really far too close to our music to describe it properly.

My description might lean more towards what I intend it to sound like than what it actually is, but I'll do my best with the basics. Melodious, raucous, sighing, grunting, barking, howling, crooning and sometimes whispering.

We are most definitely on the indie-pop side of things, but it falls easily into rock, noise and experimentation.

It changes a lot. I don't think we are a band that fits neatly in a genre — I know and like a lot of bands like that. Our recorded sound is slightly more ordered than our live show. When we play live, we make the most of having two drummers in the band. We love to jam things out when we have a show to ourselves.

whereas Aqueous is most certainly not a single, and quite deliberately so. Most of the band really loves a lot of post rock music, like the band Explosions in the Sky, so I think it is safe to say that we were pushing our instrumental sound in that direction a bit with a song like Aqueous.

We wanted to make one of those albums that you can sit down with a joint or a wine and be aurally transported into fuzz-filled, reverb-washed bubbles of fun.

You’ve already started recording The Stoics' debut album, what was the process like?

We've spent the whole second half of this year on it. We wrote a fair chunk of it in Hobart, we rehearsed in the same room that we recorded our second EP in at The Winter Palace [a Hobart recording studio]. When we felt like we had spent enough time writing and rehearsing we flew to Sydney for a month to track it in Damien Gerard Studios in Balmain. That was a pretty special experience for all of us. We recorded about 18 songs to tape in a completely live set up. It was pure bliss to have so much studio time, we experimented with lots of interesting sounds and there is no doubt that the result was much better thanks to all that leisure time. The warm Sydney weather was a very positive influence on band morale.

It's hard to feel stressed when the weather is beautiful.

So we're now arranging all of these tracks down to something a bit more manageable like 11 or 12 for an album release. The artwork for the album has already begun [courtesy of Togatus’ own designer Sam Lyne] and we've narrowed down our choice of album names to about four. So we're not quite out of the woods yet, but the album is going to be something really special.

So you guys played at the Falls Festival in 2008, how was that experience?

It was brilliant. Early. And brilliant. Playing before midday is a real test for any band and a test for their audience too, but we had a really great turn out of people watching us and we had an excellent time. We came back the next year and played at the village stage as well.

The two songs I’ve heard, Aqueous and I'm Here, sound great! Do they give a good clue as how the new album as a whole will sound?

You've supported bands such as Cloud Control and Yves Klein Blue. Who has been your favourite band to support and why?

Thanks, those two songs are a good indication, yes.

In many ways those two songs are like beach flags for the album, each one marks a very different end of our sound and all our other songs on this album sort of swim in between those two. I'm Here is one of our potential singles because it just ended up being this neat little pop song with really succinct parts and quite a catchy chorus,

Each member of The Stoics would have a different answer to this question but my favourites would have to be The New Pornographers, because meeting A. C. Newman was amazing and they played so brilliantly. I had idolised that band since college! Also Cloud Control. That band is not only awesome live, but a really fun bunch to hang out with, and it doesn't hurt that Heidi [Lenffer] is a bit of a babe.

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Interview.

Yes, Heidi is a babe! So you worked with Rob Long when recording your EP Death Machine, he has also worked with bands like Magic Dirt and Faker. What was it like working with him, and the recording process in general?

He was heaps of fun. Too much fun. He actually helped out on our album this year as well. It just so happened that we managed to catch up with him for a night and record all the piano that is going to be on our debut album. He found such a gorgeous piano tone on our Death Machine EP that we were very keen to work with him again on the album. We still talk a fair bit; he's a really interesting fellow. At the time we were recording Death Machine it was brutal winter in Hobart and we had less time than we needed to finish all the tracking, so we found ourselves doing overdubs at 5 am and silly stuff like that. I remember falling asleep on my guitar while we were recording the acoustic guitar track for Submarine Song. Obviously we got through it though and that was a credit to his brilliance.

Where do The Stoics draw their inspiration from?

Who are your main influences?

Musically, we like to listen to a lot of music. If we weren't playing then we'd be listening all the time. There are a few bands we keep coming back to when we're chatting about sounds in the band room. They are: Radiohead, Beck, Deerhunter, Built to Spill, Wu Tang Clan, Kurt Vile, Broken Social Scene, The Books, Wilco, Sonic Youth, John Coltrane, Skip James, The Magnetic Fields, Beach House, Fourtet, Amon Tobin, The Strokes, Battles, Tom Waits, Explosions in the Sky, Grinderman, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, The Antlers, Harlem, Patrick Watson‌ and many, many, many more.

And when will you be touring for your new album?

Photos by Andy Collins and Will Horan

We are hugely excited about touring this new album!

Capital cities can expect a run of shows in April, followed by another - more thorough - regional tour in August. But as usual, you can get up to date with what shows we are playing and all the rest at our blog, We are also hugely excited to be launching our website. The site will become live at the end of this month so we can all get digitally down together!

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