Today's Woman July 2020

I am a Black Woman, Hear my voice.

Leah Hazelwood talks about being a young, black woman in this city.

FAMILIES OF THE FUTURE TOUR A BEAUTIFUL HOME JULY 2020

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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contents JULY 2020

spotlights

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ENCOURAGE

4 Manifesto 38 Business owners keep moving forward

INFORM

6 Today’s Woman In The Now

18 How childcare and preschools are seeing the future

46 What a mess! How do

we get back on track?

50 28 Things

Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month

INSPIRE

16 Baby time!

24 Being vocal about race 40 A letter from our publisher LIFESTYLE

34 A new place to get the Kentucky Experience 2 A perfect bread 4

pudding formula

44 When the travel stops.

And how to start again.

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features

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8 Family of the Future

Today’s Woman visits three families to see how the pandemic changed them now and in the future.

20 Raising a Racially Sensitive Child Meet some families who are intentionally teaching their children about racism.

26 Home: Women Who Build Together Take a step inside a home built by a woman — which this homeowner says makes all the difference.

48 Parenting in a Pandemic Some specific steps for parents to use to help kids cope with their feelings around COVID-19.

56 Caregiver Guide • For the Caregiver Sharing Solutions (p. 56) • Alzheimer’s Care Safe Caring Places (p. 58)

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• Do You Need a Break? (p. 64)

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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JULY 2020 | VOL. 30 | NO. 8

LISTEN Whether you are a parent, a child, an employee, an employer, a pastor, a neighbor, an enemy, a friend, a sister, an acquaintance, a stranger...let’s open our minds and hearts to hear what others are saying, feeling, seeing, living with.

THEN let’s talk.

July 2020 Today’s Woman Manifesto

ON THE COVER: Leah Hazelwood is dressed up for a Derby that was postponed, but in recent months, she realizes she needs to speak up about deeper issues. “I realize I am not living my life to the fullest. I am not being the loudest I can be, I am not being the strongest I can be, I am not being as sensitive...I’ve always policed myself. I realize I have to let myself be free.” Read her story on page 24.

Photo by Melissa Donald Hair and Makeup by J Michael’s Salon and Spa LEAH IS WEARING: Dress, $316, House of K; Earrings, $68, Kendra Scott; Hat by KY Derby Hats, $60, available at Pix Shoes, 201 S Preston

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PUBLISHER Cathy S. Zion publisher@todaysmedianow.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Anita Oldham editor@todaysmedianow.com EXECUTIVE EDITOR Tiffany White tiffany@todaysmedianow.com EDITORIAL DIRECTOR April Allman april@todaysmedianow.com DESIGN DIRECTOR Jill Cobb jill@todaysmedianow.com PHOTO DIRECTOR/PHOTOGRAPHER Melissa Donald melissa@todaysmedianow.com CAMPAIGN MANAGER Jessica Alyea jessica@todaysmedianow.com OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR Scheri Stewart Mullins scheri@todaysmedianow.com BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Rachel Reeves rachel@todaysmedianow.com SENIOR MEDIA CONSULTANTS Susan Allen susan@todaysmedianow.com Teri Hickerson teri@todaysmedianow.com CIRCULATION MANAGER W. Earl Zion Today’s Woman is published monthly by: Zion Publications, LLC 9780 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 1400 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: 502.327.8855 TodaysWomanNow.com TodaysMediaNow.com The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2020

by Zion Publications LLC, all rights reserved.

Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.

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SUBSCRIBE: Send $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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I N T H E N OW inform

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inspire

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encourage

#TodaysWomanLove

YOUR WORDS

Ready for the summer sun! #Repost @EMASSEYFITMOM

What’s one good decision you’ve made as a parent?

Making sure my kids were involved in some type of sports.

Follow through and be consistent. @TAMARAPCHAP

@FLEURDELISCHIC

Teaching independent sleep from a young age. Milk and water only — very little juice or sugary drinks!

Left Jefferson County Public Schools. @JAXONSMOMMA1

@BRITTANID2

We love hearing from you! Watch our Facebook page and Instagram stories for a monthly question! Tag photos on Instagram with #TodaysWomanLove or #TodaysWomanShareIdeas.

ASHBY’S PICKS

All books can be found at Carmichael’s Kids.

• Little People Big Dreams Series: Ella Fitzgerald, Harriet Tubman, Maya Angelou • Little Heroes of Color by David Heredia • Little Guides to Great Lives by Maya Angelou OTHER FAVORITES AT CARMICHAEL’S KIDS: • Sulwe by Lupita Nyong’o • All books by Vashti Harrison

@SGT.ASHBYANDERSON

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Ashby Anderson, a Fire and Life Safety Educator/Fire Marshal with Louisville Fire Department, donates books that are relevant to a need the world is facing. She recently donated five books to our community in celebration and in honor of Breonna Taylor’s birthday.

FirstBook.org is an incredible resource. It separates books into themes so you are able to search for books specific to ‘diversity and inclusion,’ for example.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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Family

OF THE FUTURE

By Carrie Vittitoe Photos by Melissa Donald

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ne day, the history books will include paragraphs about the global pandemic of 2020 — how economies were impacted and how many people were sickened and died. But what may be left out in these general overviews of how the world changed is what steps individual families took to adapt and adjust to life in quarantine and under social distancing strategies. In 2020, the picture of how the family of the future will live is currently being redrawn.

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The Scott Family

SCOTT FAMILY: EVEN HOME SCHOOLING CHANGED

When public and private school families had to transition to online learning in March 2020, it might seem that families that homeschool had it easy. They were already learning at home so no problem, right? But homeschool families don’t stay home constantly, and many families had to incorporate a remotely-working parent into the stay-athome structure. Rebecca Duvall Scott, who homeschools her children, Annabelle, 12, and Jacob, 10, and is also a director of a homeschool cooperative and the author of a book on sensory processing differences, had to make adjustments to re-envision what her family life was going to be.

What adjustments did your family have to make during quarantining?

The first few weeks were difficult. While the kids and I were used to staying home most of the time and working together on school work, it was a big transition for us to blend my husband, Eric, a senior manager CPA at Ernst & Young, into home life, and for him to blend us into his work life. The kids and I grieved over the loss of church services, library programs, our cottage school, and co-op classes. It really felt like productivity ground to a halt, and we all just went through the motions of our day, overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion. I started keeping todo lists for my endless days, and slowly new, flexible routines emerged.

What were some positives that came out of the adjustments?

Family time took on a whole new meaning when there is nothing else to do except be together. The kids started playing together more, Annabelle started cooking with me, and both kids got to get on the roof with their daddy and help clean out the gutters. We’ve also had more time for family walks, game and movie nights, and we’ve started reading The Chronicles of Narnia before bed. The closeness we’re gaining is definitely a silver lining.

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You had been promoting your memoir, Sensational Kids, Sensational Families, prior to the pandemic. How have you adapted professionally, and how are you fitting in restorative alone time?

I’ve been writing a series for LinkedIn called Look for the Good, and I’ve got a Facebook group where I’m blogging about how we’re desensitizing Jacob to wearing a mask. We’re still promoting but in a reach-out, self-help kind of way. It is quite difficult to find alone time when your family is living on top of one another 24/7. I usually sneak away to a quiet part of the house where I can read or focus on co-op planning. Sometimes I’ll go outside and garden as well. Just the fresh air and doing something mindless like pulling weeds to create a clutter-free patch of flowerbed is rejuvenating.

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HOUSE-MANSFIELD FAMILY: STEPPING UP THROUGH CHAOS

During COVID-19, teachers have been tasked with not only continuing instruction of their students online but with trying to balance the education of their own children as well. Melanie House-Mansfield has continued to be a high school theater instructor, as well as provide preschool activities and speech therapy protocols for her 4-year-old son, Israel. All of this would be quite a balancing act on its own, but she is also the primary caretaker of her mother, Amelia Blossom Pegram, who has dementia and is now in rehab following a fall shortly before quarantining began. Melanie and her husband, William, have been living in her mother’s house while also trying to supervise renovations to their condo, which was vandalized prior to the pandemic.

What do your days look like?

I get up at 7am. I’ll fix some stuff for when my son wakes up; I can give it to him so that will occupy him for a while. I get online and have set office hours.

I’m grading papers, texting students, creating things for them to do, and I’m on Google Meets. I also field phone calls and do age-appropriate school with Israel.

Are you able to get any alone time?

At this point, we have to steal time. Sometimes it takes saying, “Mommy or Daddy is in the vacation room,” (a small room that we have) and one of us becomes the primary. You do have to take time for yourself, but at this point, it is the time to step up. It feels to me like how homesteading might have been, when people were hacking it out and doing the things they needed to do to survive.

What does family time look like?

We carve out time to be around one of our neighbors who we’ve known for a long time and who knows my mom. He lost his wife not too long ago. We’ve done cookouts where people are sitting on chairs in their own areas. You have to socially distance but socially connect at the same time. We go for walks; the neighbors look forward to seeing Israel as we walk in the neighborhood.

Your position at your school has been overstaffed, and you’re uncertain about where your mother will go after rehab. How do you manage this uncertainty during the uncertainty of a pandemic?

I know that I’ll get the call as to where I’ll be [teaching] next year because my school is overstaffed. We will have to find a place for mom; we will figure it out as a family. My mom was exiled from South Africa during the apartheid regime and ended up in England. She was able to be an actress and a teacher. If my mom can make it through all those unknowns, I can, too. Faith plays a part in it, too.

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The House-Mansfield Family

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The Hamilton Family

HAMILTON FAMILY: FINDING SIMPLICITY

Being with small children every day without being able to get out for adult conversations and distractions is hard at the best of times, but it is especially difficult when isolating continues for weeks and weeks. Although Angel Hamilton was a stay-at-home mom to her two sons, Christian, 4, and Isaiah, 2, prior to the pandemic, she has had to adjust her routine and expectations.

What does the structure of your days look like?

Coming from a family that lacked structure to working with inner-city kids, whether that be in youth programs or as a teacher, I know that kids need some kind of routine. We do have one, but it is not rigid. Most days, we start with a song, a story book on YouTube, and a craft. That’s usually an hour of fun in the morning, and then I hand it over to a Zoom meeting with my son’s chapel teacher from my 4-year-old’s school. Then it’s playtime, followed by lunch and naps.

What do meal times look like for your family now?

Meals are much better now. My husband, Dustin, traveled or worked late and was either not home for supper or would get home after we finished eating. Now we all eat together, share stories, laugh as the kids are silly with their food, and roll our eyes together as they refuse to eat the thing they ate the day before with no complaints. Something about sharing in that meal together each night has brought my husband and I closer.

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What did family time look like before the pandemic, and what does it look like now?

Prior to COVID-19, our weekends looked like outings based around our kids’ interests — parks, zoos, and museums. Now that has stopped, and, honestly, that has been hard. But we have found ourselves spending more time in the yard playing basketball or catch, pushing the kids on the swing, or just letting them make mud pies. Somehow that simplicity of activities has helped us slow down and just appreciate the moment. Before we were filling our to-do calendars and rushing off to the next thing. Now the days with our kids seem longer and that isn’t necessarily bad because our babies don’t stay babies for long.

July 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com

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BABY TIME!

Deborah Garcia delivered her baby, Elena Batz, in the hospital without family support during COVID-19. She also had tested positive for the virus at the end of her pregnancy.

By Tonilyn Hornung Photo by Melissa Donald

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ach pregnancy experience is distinctive.

Some moms are out there planning all the plans with multi-colored pens and To-Do Lists while others are feeling all the feels and squeezing boxes of tissues into tiny pockets of maternity jeggings. Whichever way a momto-be chooses to embrace her pregnancy days, carrying a baby in her belly asks her to adjust physically and mentally. Now with the onset of COVID-19, mothers-to-be have to adjust even more.

Elizabeth Quinkert, a certified nurse-midwife and the administrative director for the Tree of Life Family Birth Center in Jeffersonville, Indiana, says she’s seen an upswing in expectant mothers deciding to give birth at her facility instead of a hospital.

“We want everyone to be safe and to keep this as normal an experience as possible for them,” Elizabeth says. With the guidance of the American Associations of Birth Centers and The American College of Nurse-Midwives, the center has put protective precautions in place to offer expectant mothers a labor experience closer to what they had once envisioned when they became pregnant.

All of these new safeguards are there to keep patients and medical personnel protected, but what if COVID-19 strikes while healthy and weeks away from your due date? During her 35th week of pregnancy, Debora (Debbie) Garcia started experiencing initial signs of COVID-19, and soon after she began running a fever and suffering chills.Her doctor advised her to be tested, and after waiting seven days she received a positive result. She went into labor the following day at 37 weeks.

“This was all so new to my doctor that she was trying to find out what the protocol was in the hospital,” says Debbie, who gave birth to her daughter on April 6. “I’d been fever-free for 24 hours, but my husband had to drop me off outside the hospital, and a nurse came out to get me.” The nurse whisked Debbie away to give birth. She was told then that she’d have to deliver the baby alone.

“Everyone was in their gear, and I was surrounded by strangers. There was no one that I knew there who could really support me, but I trusted God and trusted them that the delivery would go fine.” Debbie delivered a baby girl who, due to rising and falling oxygen levels, went to the NICU soon after birth. “The doctors wanted to monitor her to make sure she was

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OK. She actually tested negative for COVID-19.” After six days, Debbie and her daughter were reunited and she was able to take her newborn home.

Debbie says because her early labor began on the heels of finding out about her positive COVID-19 test, she didn’t have time to prepare. This is why Elizabeth is advising patients to focus on making plans now while knowing the current limitations they might face due to the virus. “This helps them to prepare themselves so they aren’t surprised at the time of birth, and it can help them to visualize their birth under these circumstances.”

“The doctor’s office — it’s a lot different,” says Brooke McNatt, who’s pregnant and due in August. “You have to wear a mask, and all the seats are now six feet apart.” With the COVID-19 landscape ever-changing, Brooke receives an email prior to each visit to alert her to any new office rules. Right now, only one guest is allowed to accompany her on her visits.

Brooke has her preparations in place. When she heads to the hospital for her scheduled C-section, her husband will be the one person with her. “My husband and I are both taking extra precautions and following the rules. I’m trying to protect my family so we can keep COVID-19 out of our home,” she says.

Motherhood is an adjustment all its own. Becoming a mother in the midst of a pandemic is asking expectant mamas to adapt and stretch as never before. Like Debbie says, “Life can change in a blink of an eye. To give birth to a healthy baby in the middle of a pandemic is truly a miracle. I value every minute with my little one, even breastfeeding in the (early) hours when I haven’t gotten much sleep.”

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HOW CHILD CARE AND PRESCHOOLS ARE

SEEING THE FUTURE

By Carrie Vittitoe

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or child care and early child education, not only did things come to a screeching halt in March and April, it will take many stressful modifications to the way they operate in order for them to start offering their normal schedule.

PRESCHOOLS The Gardner School is an academic preschool for children ages six weeks through preschool, and while there is only one location in Louisville, there are 20 located in six other states. According to marketing manager Joy Haynes, all Gardner School locations closed at the same time in March. Opening up locations has been more of a piecemeal approach simply because of different states’ schedules and regulations. The Louisville location opened on June 15. “This is certainly an exercise in being nimble and being aware so you can respond appropriately,” Joy says.

When The Gardner School opened, parents could no longer bring their children into the building but are met by their vehicles by Gardner School staff.

Children stay in one classroom during the day, and the playground equipment is sanitized between uses.

“We’re trying to contain and keep the number of people who are interacting with each other inside the school really narrow,” Joy says.

“One of the things we already had in place and expanded while we were temporarily closed is the parent communication and engagement. We have an app where we share updates and a trust level with parents. When this happened and families were not coming to the school each day, it became even more important to keep that communication going. We consistently communicate updates and resources [parents] could use,” Joy says.

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MAKING SURE ALL THE STANDARDS ARE MET. DAYCARES Amie Higgs has been a certified child care provider in her Louisville home since 1998. Like larger daycare centers, she had to cease operations in March, which led to considerable uncertainty. “I didn’t know if I would qualify for unemployment or not. [I was] making sure all of my parents had something in place for childcare,” she says. Typically, self-employed individuals are unable to collect unemployment, but Kentucky was flexible with its policy during COVID-19, for which Amie is grateful.

While some child care providers were given the green light to open in June, Amie will not be opening up right away because her husband will be undergoing cancer treatment. She plans to reopen in August, but even if she could open sooner, she says there is no way she would have sufficient amounts of personal protective equipment.

She has had to spend money to purchase items to ensure she is meeting state regulations, such as purchasing a no-touch thermometer, because every child will get his/her temperature taken before entering her home. “I know the state’s intentions are good,” she says.

According to Amie, certain toys, including stuffed animals, are no longer allowed. New cleaning procedures are required as are postings about those procedures. “If I have [play] phones, I have to make sure everyone has their own phone,” she says. “I’m going to have to buy another table so I can make sure I’m spacing my kids out. Art supplies cannot be shared anymore, so I’ve had to go buy everybody their own pack of crayons and their own box to put it in.”

For some childcare centers, the tasks that are now being required as a result of COVID-19 might be more onerous than they can reasonably afford and manage. Despite steps that child care providers take and their best intentions to follow guidelines, young children are simply unlikely to follow all of the sanitation and hygiene rules.

The pandemic is making child care look very different. “I’m thinking about how odd this is that I’m now going to have to tell kids, ‘Don’t share those,’ when they’ve been told just the opposite,” Amie says.

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RAISING A RACIALLY SENSITIVE CHILD I

By Megan M. Seckman

n early June, protests spanned the globe in a unified call to end systemic racism and police brutality toward people of color. Bands of peaceful protestors filled the sidewalks in Old Louisville, downtown, and the east and west ends of our city, locking arms and showing up despite a pandemic, tear gas, and 90-degree heat.

Sadiqa Reynolds, president and CEO of the Louisville Urban League, caught up with Today’s Woman amidst a media storm, a little breathless and exhausted from the week’s traumatic events, to discuss what parents can do to raise a racially sensitive child. Sadiqa, an activist and mother of two herself, says that the first step begins before your children are even born. Raising racially sensitive children starts with being racially sensitive yourself. Parents need to examine their choices and optics of race — examine their own personal biases and prejudices.

Consider who you are hiring to clean your house or do your landscaping and who you choose to be your lawyer, physician, business partner, friend, or neighbor.

Our children need to see diversity in all sectors, including our bookshelves, Sadiqa says. We can read books with black and brown heroes to our children when they are still in the womb, and be intentional in seeking out culturally competent resources like Play Cousins Collective.

“We must have a different conversation about race, and stop painting people with broad brushes.” Sadiqa says we need to understand the media’s role in creating these stereotypes and perpetuating systemic racism. “Above all, we need to teach our children to ask questions. It’s a tough time to be a parent...We need to talk about the news, be honest about where the flaws are, and how African Americans are being portrayed. But we don’t have to pretend to know everything, we just have to keep asking questions ourselves, and dig deeper to look at the root causes [of our city’s problems].

We all need to have a diverse feed of information.”

Ultimately, Sadiqa asserts, being a critical thinker will not only make us, but will make our children, better human beings.

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ACTIVELY CHOOSING ANTI-RACISM Catherine McGeeney, director of communications at the Coalition for the Homeless and mother of three, says the first step in raising a racially sensitive white child is to accept the systemic racism present in our city.

“I’m a white mom of three white kids, and we live in a country where my family benefits from centuries of racist institutions — institutions originally designed for the benefit of white people. We didn't build those systems, of course, but we benefit from them, and I believe it’s our moral responsibility to recognize that, then use our privilege to fight those injustices,” says Catherine, who is also a member of Parents for Social Justice, a grassroots organization dedicated to helping parents of young children participate in progressive activism in Louisville.

Systemic racism, she notes, can seem like a complicated concept to explain to white children, but it’s all around us, so it’s easy to point out “once you accept that it’s real,” Catherine says. “White parents often struggle with knowing when it's appropriate to discuss things like stereotypes and race, and my husband and I have wrestled with those questions ourselves. But it’s important to note that even the ability to opt out of such conversations is a privilege of being white; people of color talk to their young children about race to protect them.

“One of the starting points for our family has been telling more accurate stories about American history.”

Catherine notes, “When they learn about the Revolutionary War, we need to teach them that slavery was preserved in the creation of our young democracy, that most of the founding fathers were slave owners, that our country was built on the backs of slaves — and that our laws and policies have continued for centuries to be unjust. We need to show them pictures of the presidents and — SADIQA REYNOLDS ask why they think we have only had one black man (and no women at all, much less a woman of color).”

When we acknowledge systemic racism as a reality that runs through our history, Catherine believes it lays the groundwork for understanding where we are now in our struggle with racial injustice. But Catherine believes education is not enough. “As Ibram X. Kendi has said, it is not enough to not be racist; we must be anti-racist. White parents hold the responsibility not only of being anti-racist ourselves, but also of raising anti-racist children.

And much like love itself, choosing anti-racism is not a one-time thing. It is something we must actively choose over and over again, a lens through which we must see all the decisions we make in the world. It's a journey, not a destination.”

The good news, Catherine believes, is that young children are naturally empathetic, loving, sensitive, and sweet. “They feel sadness when things aren't fair or just, so in my experience — with the right framework — it’s not much of a stretch for them to recognize injustice in the world and to be moved toward action. In the moments when they see that injustice clearly, you can take an easy action — have them hold up a sign at a family-friendly protest, or host a lemonade stand and donate the proceeds to a bail fund or other important cause. And just by modeling anti-racist actions on your own, your children will absorb a lot.”

“WE MUST HAVE A DIFFERENT CONVERSATION ABOUT RACE, AND STOP PAINTING PEOPLE WITH BROAD BRUSHES.”

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Empowerment is the tenet touted throughout the home of Dr. Tanya Franklin and Stephen Franklin.

The Franklins say they teach their children that prejudice is on the perpetrator. The baggage that people carry doesn’t impact how you should carry yourself. We teach our children — who come from a mother who is a doctor, a father that is a professional, and grew up with the Obamas — that the ignorance of prejudice shouldn’t define how you see yourself. It is a problem that other people have, so shame on them.”

But as a black family in a primarily white east-end neighborhood, discussing race is not an option.

“Diversity is forced on us whether we want it or not. White people have the choice in this city to live in a bubble.

Most black people, however, have experienced prejudice,” Stephen said. “I hate to say it, but it is just the fact. Prejudice doesn’t affect us.

Racism, though, is systemic, and it is dangerous. There are things in the system that we can’t do anything about, and those are the things I have to talk to my children about.”

The Franklins were cautious to talk about race at the dinner table. They didn’t want to have the conversation too early and burden them. “They were just kids,” the Franklins explain. “We didn’t want to be too heavy too soon.”

However, Stephen was forced to address the issue when Tamir Rice, a 12-year-old, was shot and killed by a Cleveland police officer while throwing snowballs and playing with a toy gun in a local park.

“I have been used to seeing black men get killed by cops, but I’d never seen it with a kid. It was sick!

America has an obsession with guns, and this kid was playing with a toy gun with his friend and now he’s dead. Sure, we all know the story of Emmit Till, but this was current and on the news, and I had to see it. It scared the hell out of me. My son was also 12 at the time. He’s an athlete so he is always in a hoodie or a jersey coming from practice, and all the sudden I have to tell him to take his hood down or change because we’re going into the grocery. It is so hard to talk about because you don’t want to kill his spirit.”

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“There are things in the system that we can’t do anything about, and those are the things I have to talk to my children about,” says Stephen Franklin, here with his family.

The Franklins explained that, around that same time as a middle schooler, their son was called the n-word at his private school. The family immediately decided to pull him from the school, but the headmaster begged them to stay because “We need more people like him here.” This was another example of the pressure that society puts on their children, the Franklins explained.

“When you’re African American, you have to be twice as good. Our kids have trouble with that — we have trouble with that — it doesn’t seem fair.

We put a lot of pressure on them to be the representative of our family and an entire race. People around them may only have one experience with a black person, and that is a heavy weight. My 12-year-old has to be there for the benefit of everyone else? No, we felt like he just needed to be a kid.”

What gives the Franklins hope? The call for social justice from the youth in this city and the diversity present in the current protests. “When our white brothers and sisters stand side-by-side against systemic racism, that gives us hope.”

Photo by Melissa Donald

YOU HAVE TO BE TWICE AS GOOD

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Photo submitted

Being Vocal About Race

By Tiffany White

L

eah Hazelwood wants her voice to be heard in the wake of Breonna Taylor’s death. On June 5 — Breonna Taylor’s birthday — Leah joined protesters to help raise awareness about the fatal shooting and advocate for justice.

The 20-year-old University of Louisville student and Kentucky Derby Festival Princess says Breonna’s death has inspired her to become more vocal about the issues of race in America. “Everything happening right now in Louisville surrounding Breonna Taylor was, I don’t want to say a shock to me, but it is something I didn’t think could hit so close to home. I mean, the murder of an innocent black woman by figures of authority. I know about Sandra Bland, I know about so many black men who have been killed, but it wasn’t fathomable to me for this to be happening in Louisville.”

She added, “I just really want to try my hardest to be a stronger fighter and advocate for the rest of my life. I feel like I have been an advocate, but with this hitting so close to home, I have no option but to fight harder.”

Over the past month, Leah has participated in multiple protests and her mom, Autria Calhoun, has joined her in one of them. While she credits her mom for teaching her how to advocate for herself and others, she says her willingness to become involved in social activism comes from self-determination and the desire to expand her knowledge. Leah raised a total of $3,000 for the Black Lives Matter movement and the Louisville Community Bail Fund. Some of the funds have been sent to organizers to help them purchase water, tear gas neutralizers, and backpacks for frontline protestors.

Leah has always known Americans aren’t in a racism-free society, but she says it is difficult for her to believe she is living in an era where racial injustice continues to exist. “Being at the protests felt shocking and surreal. In the 1960s, many leaders were doing the same thing. Even with the protests in Ferguson, Missouri, these things are happening so why is this still something we have to do? We are fighting for basic human decency,” she says.

In spite of the racial unrest, Leah says there is a positive element. “Another aspect of all of this is beautiful. I wish none of this had happened... but all of the small towns [in Kentucky] have been protesting as a [show of] solidarity,” she says. She notes that the national attention of George Floyd’s death along with protests was instrumental in passing Breonna’s Law last month, and she believes these events have prompted people to educate themselves about unfamiliar topics.

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The future of race relations is uncertain because there is much more work to be done, but Leah says the only way to see progress is through being vocal about racial injustices at all times. “I feel with everything going on that many people — especially people who aren’t black — think this is just a moment, but this is a movement because injustices will continue. They will not always be outright, they will not always be videotaped, but they are going to be present.”

Leah says being vocal is also about having candid conversations about race without feeling you will be judged. “I’ve been in many situations where I’ve said: ‘Let me not say anything because I don’t want to be labeled as the angry black woman.’ But sometimes I am angry, and it should be OK. I should be allowed to feel my emotions.”

“I’ve been in many situations where I’ve said: ‘Let me not say anything because I don’t want to be labeled as the angry black woman...’”

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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HOME

The homeowner liked soft, flowing, open and airy spaces, and wanted the land, and pool area outside to be the centerpiece.

(Right) The back porch offers a place out of the sun but close to the pool.

Women Who Build Together

By Megan M. Seckman Photos by Melissa Donald

T

he relationship between homeowner and contractor is a delicate one. Like any tumultuous relationship, you enter it with such passion and soon can’t wait for it to be over — can’t wait for the person who once brought you such hope to finally just take their stuff and leave forever.

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Get more information from our home advisors: WR Realtors: wrrealtors.com (p. 29) My Southern Home: behindthebuildTV.com (p. 31) Red Edge Realty: mettsregroup.com (p. 33) Bliss Home: blisshomefurniture.com (p. 35)

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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HOME For Karen Miller, a data warehouse architect, what is her way to build a house, virtually stress free, and have your needs met throughout the process?

HIRE A WOMAN, SHE SAYS. That is what Karen did when partnering with Tracee Dore of Tracee Dore Builders the second time around.

Fifteen years ago, Karen and her husband, Greg, built a home together near her husband’s business, Miller Transportation. They designed the home themselves and likened the experience to a nightmare. This time, the Millers wanted to be further east, closer to their son’s club soccer practice and Karen’s office, so they decided on a five-acre lot just over the Jefferson County line in Shelby County. More importantly, however, they wanted the building experience to be easy, so Greg decided to take a step back and let Karen make the decisions. Karen had a clear vision of what she wanted, and Greg could care less about the pattern in a countertop. After walking through one of Tracee’s homes, Karen knew she had met her match.

“A friend suggested I walk through one of Tracee’s builds,” Karen says.

“Tracee has a classic, timeless style and a background in interior design, so she has an eye for all aspects of the build.

When we met, it just felt comfortable.”

For months, Karen had been collecting ideas on Pinterest, Instagram, and Houzz — apps she says were integral to the homebuilding process but unavailable to her the first time around 15 years ago. She was attracted to grays and the warmth of a minimally decorated Coastal Craftsman aesthetic; she liked soft, flowing open and airy spaces, and wanted the land and pool area outside to be the centerpiece.

Above all, though, Karen wanted a house that could be lived in. With a son, two rescue dogs, and a love for entertaining, Karen wanted something that was both beautiful and functional.

“I’m not a fancy-schmancy type of girl,” Karen says. “I don’t want to have to worry about being too comfortable in my home.”

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The homeowner is pleased with the gray-glaze finish that Tracee suggested from Barber Cabinet Company, as well as the size of the hood and lighting in the kitchen. “I never would have picked out a hood that size or lights that large, but they just tie everything together,” Homeowner Karen Miller says.

The screened in porch complete with a fireplace offers yet another living environment.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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HOME

On the welcoming front porch sit home builder (left) Tracee Dore and (right) homeowner Karen Miller. They sit on an old church pew that Karen refinished — stripping away nine layers of paint.

When Karen saw Tracee’s build, she knew they shared similar styles: classic, simple, big, and bold.

Tracee has been in the industry for 25 years, but was groomed for this job since birth. As a child, Tracee grew up cleaning and puttying nail holes for her father’s custom high-end construction company, David Bore Builders in Ohio. “I was my dad’s tomboy and always more interested in the business than my brothers,” Tracee explains.

“I was the one fishing with my dad and working in the woodshop with him. I watched him put his heart and soul into building. He was a real problem-solver. He built with heart.”

Tracee took this philosophy with her to design school at the University of Kentucky, where she developed an expertise for drafting blueprints and design elements. Currently, Tracee works only through referrals, and is starring in a real-time constructionbuilding reality show Behind the Build. She believes what sets her apart is her ability to read between the lines to determine what her clients truly want. “People love that a woman is building their house because we are just more particular. I feel the design. It is less stressful for my clients because I can handle all aspects of the process: I handle plans, financing, and I help them pick out the materials, not just send them out to do that alone. I’m very honest and tend to become friends with my clients through the process.”

PAGE 32 >> Material selection was important throughout the house, as evident in this bathroom. For instance, Tracee found a way that the homeowner could achieve the big, bold look of marble without the high maintenance of that material.

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Today’s Woman / July 2020

31

HOME

The homeowner wanted a house she could live in — not a showhouse. She first toured some of the builder’s previous homes and brought a whole list of ideas and things she wanted to the planning meeting.

Tracee jokes that one of her former clients, a female pilot, was fond of saying, “Should I just stick to flying?” whenever Tracee would give her a questioning look about her not-so-ideal suggestions. “Typical builders aren’t so honest and detail oriented about the design. They just want to get it done and get out. I feel such an obligation. When a client like Karen, who is so grateful and such a soft soul, knows what she wants, we become a team. She lets me do my job and trusts me without micromanagement, and that makes me want to build the best house for the money. When a client trusts me, I don’t want to let them down.”

Karen agrees that it was nice to have a woman to field her questions over the course of the year-long process. The two sat down with Karen’s “nerd document,” which consisted of all of her ideas and requests, and Tracee drew up plans and listened to Karen’s desires and concerns and encouraged her to take risks on materials, cabinets, and lighting along the way.

Karen is pleased with the gray-glaze finish that Tracee suggested from Barber Cabinet Company, as well as the size of the hood and lighting in the kitchen. “I never would have picked out a hood that size or lights that large, but they just tie everything together,” Karen says. In addition, Tracee helped Karen with material selection so that she could achieve the big, bold look of marble without the high maintenance of that material. Instead, Tracee found a porcelain tile that mimicked the look without the hassle.

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Overall, Karen couldn’t be happier with the outcome of her home and her enduring relationship with the builder. Turns out choosing a woman for the job made all the difference to Karen. Tracee’s ability to listen, her intuition, and the attention to detail saved the relationship between contractor and client.

After all, as Tracee notes,

“IT’S A YEAR-LONG RELATIONSHIP. I WANT MY CLIENT TO COME OUT OF THE BUILD FEELING JUST AS GOOD, IF NOT BETTER, THAN THEY FELT WHEN WE WENT IN THIS THING TOGETHER.”

Today’s Woman / July 2020

33

HOME

A greenhouse on the property allows for fresh vegetables and herbs to be used in the dishes. As well as a few unusual foods the horticulturists will grow.

A NEW PLACE TO GET THE

KENTUCKY EXPERIENCE

By Carrie Vittitoe Photos by Melissa Donald

A

lison Settle loved to cook, but she didn’t want to ruin her passion by becoming a chef, or at least that’s what she thought at one time.

She worked as an au pair in Germany before deciding that being around food all the time maybe wasn’t such a bad idea. She was 25 years old when she began her studies in culinary arts at Sullivan University’s Lexington, Kentucky, campus.

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Today’s Woman / July 2020

35

HOME

Eventually, she moved to Louisville where she made the rounds at various eateries, including Holy Grale, Pizza Lupo, and Red Hog. It was while Alison was the executive chef at Red Hog that Laura Lee Brown and Steve Wilson, founders of 21c and owners of Hermitage Farms in Goshen, Kentucky, came in and introduced themselves to her. The next day they offered her a position at Barn8, a restaurant that offers a unique food experience at Hermitage Farms.

When tourists come to Kentucky for the Derby, they often arrive wanting to see horses, drink bourbon, and eat Southern cuisine. To accomplish this often entails multiple car trips to at least two separate locations,

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but Hermitage Farms hopes to be a central location that gives a full taste of what the commonwealth does best.

“It is a three-prong operation that encapsulates the things that Kentucky has to offer in one place 20 minutes outside of Louisville,” Alison says.

In addition to watching Thoroughbreds, guests to Hermitage Farms can see the garden plots as well as a greenhouse. At Barn8, “we are showcasing the best things that local farmers do,” Alison says, which includes getting bison and hogs from nearby Woodland Farm. Barn8’s primary focus will be seasonal food with an emphasis on both Southern cuisine and the foods of indigenous people, which may even include foraging. Alison

has a personal interest in foraging and says she has found mushrooms, rosehips, pawpaws, and ramps on the property.

The focus on local food doesn’t mean that Barn8’s menu isn’t also going to have its fair share of experimental dishes. With the greenhouse on-site, Hermitage Farm’s horticulturalists will be able to grow some unusual foods that will make their way to diners’ plates.

With Derby on the horizon, Alison says her hope is to show tourists that Kentucky is more than just fried chicken (which was the only thing many people knew about Kentucky when she worked overseas). “If people come from out-oftown, they’re seeing some progressive and creative stuff,” she says.

l Dining areas are actually in repurposed horse stalls. n “We are showcasing the best things that local farmers do,” Alison says.

Here she is standing in part of the special event area of the restaurant.

k The bar showcases artwork and comfortable sitting spaces.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

37

Business Owners Keep Moving Forward

By Carrie Vittitoe Photos by Melissa Donald

B

eing a business owner can be risky and stressful, but being a business owner during a pandemic brings a whole new set of challenges. For many female entrepreneurs, COVID-19 has been a season of stopping, pivoting, and trying to move forward despite uncertainty and fear.

THE BENEFITS OF DIVERSIFICATION Wealth management advisors typically urge their clients to be diverse in how they invest so that they don’t have all their eggs in one proverbial basket. Jesika Young, president and CEO of Cimtech in New Albany, Indiana, a precision machine fabricator and assembly/sub-assembly manufacturer, knows just how important diversification is. “We make hundreds of thousands of component parts for a wide array of industries — food and beverage to hospitality to automotive to rail, medical, you name it,” she says.

When the automotive industry shut down completely in response to COVID-19, it had an impact on a wide range of companies that supply parts and components, including Cimtech, but being a manufacturer of diverse components gave the company wiggle room. “Luckily, because of how

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diverse we were, we were able to adapt and take on some additional work,” Young says. Because Cimtech also does design engineering, there are opportunities due to the economy restarting and how life in a post-COVID has changed.

“There are going to be needs for things that haven’t been invented yet,” she says.

In the midst of uncertainty, Jesika and her colleagues tried to keep what they could control at the front of mind. “We can’t control what our supply chain does; we can’t control what our customers are going to do and how they’ll react. We can control the safety of our team, the quality of our product, and that we’re still delivering the way that we always have to our customers and partners,” she says.

As a manufacturer, safety has always been a top priority, but COVID-19 has made it an even greater one for the future.

“All of the protocols [hand sanitization, disinfection of every office, no tool sharing, and very strict visitation policy] that we have put into place will remain,” Jesika says. While Cimtech staff has been able to still have meetings with clients who are across the country using Zoom and other tools, Jesika says she misses the face-to-face meetings and hopes they will be able to begin again soon.

THE NECESSITY OF AN ONLINE PRESENCE Businesses that didn’t have an online presence before the pandemic have had to weather more stress, while savvy retailers who regularly used social media prior to COVID-19 have been able to use it to their advantage, keeping customers apprised of what is for sale, the cost, and curbside pickup procedures.

Sandi West, owner of Sandi’s Styles in Middletown, which is a women’s fashion storefront, mobile pink truck, and online shop, has felt the economic hardship of COVID-19. April is typically her biggest month of the year, and much of her inventory is geared toward graduations, Derby, and vacation wear, all of which were canceled or postponed.

Although her shop had a presence on Instagram and Facebook as well as a VIP group for loyal customers, she says she didn’t feel comfortable pushing products the first several weeks of quarantining.

“Everybody was in a crisis situation; you’re trying to protect your families and yourself so I figured that was everybody’s priority,” she says.

Many of Sandi’s suppliers in Los Angeles, California, began making masks from fabric remnants of dresses and tops that Sandi sells. “I started selling those and was able to pay my rent,” she says.

She has done curbside pickup and offered free shipping to boost business, but because she is in the high-risk health category for COVID-19 infection, she has been hesitant to re-open the shop to customers.

Sandi’s involvement with professional organizations for boutique owners helped her realize, even before COVID-19, that an online presence is an absolute necessity. Malls and brickand-mortar shops are simply not what they used to be in terms of generating traffic. While her business has been closed to in-person shopping, Sandi has used this time to take a class on Facebook advertising in order to better use the technology to market to potential clients. “[The pandemic] forced me to renew my webpage and enter the online selling market, which was a must anyway,” says Dori Lewis, owner of Polkadotted Pineapple Boutique, a consignment shop in Shelbyville, Kentucky. “I had someone working on it, and it was a good thing it was up and running.” She says making that abrupt pivot to online sales was difficult, but “when you have no other avenue to generate business, you have to do something.”

UTILIZE THE RESOURCES Robert Coffey, acting district director of the Kentucky District Office of the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA), says uncertainty has been the biggest challenge for most of the business owners he has spoken with.

Another challenge Robert sees is “navigating all the resources that are available. There are resources at every level — federal, state, and local.

Just navigating through that to find out what applies to their particular business, which programs should they use, is a challenge.” Robert and his colleagues are swamped with keeping up with the federal response through SBA, but they often have to guide business owners to the appropriate state or local resources, which might be more useful or appropriate to them. The calls that the SBA has fielded have primarily been about the status of applications for the Economic Injury Disaster Loan and the Paycheck Protection Program.

One of the things that the SBA stresses to entrepreneurs all of the time, but especially now in light of the pandemic, is for business owners to think globally about what they do. “We’ve always encouraged businesses to look at exporting as an opportunity,“ Robert says. “Ninety-five percent of the wealth and population is outside the United States.”

Government contracting is another potential avenue of profits for femaleowned businesses. “We have resources that will help businesses to do that. We have certification programs for women-owned small businesses that will help them to have limited competition. That’s an underutilized market for a lot of small businesses,” Robert says.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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I am Today’s Woman and I am...

By Cathy Zion, Publisher

I am amazed at the strength it took for Harriett Tubman to create the Underground Railroad by leading 13 missions to free 70 slaves after escaping slavery herself in the 1800’s.

I am in awe of Rosa Parks for having the courage to sit tight in her seat at the front of the bus, triggering desegregation efforts in the south in the 1950’s.

I am humbled by Coretta Scott King’s strength in leading the civil rights movement after her husband’s assassination in 1968.

I am white, I am female, I am educated, I am 72, and I am beyond mad that while much progress has been made during my lifetime to bring about equal rights and social justice for all citizens, there is still so much to be done.

I am heartbroken to see the ravages against our black brothers and sisters, not just over the past few months, but over the past decades.

I am ashamed that a few police officers with poor judgment and actions have seemingly contaminated the reputation of all those brave men and women who protect us every day.

I am hopeful that out of this turmoil will come healing, compassion, reasoning, and leading. To hope otherwise would be to minimize everything that Harriett Tubman, Rosa Parks, Coretta Scott King, and so many others have fought for.

I am committed to be part of the solution.

GOING FORWARD I WILL… I will ensure we continue to celebrate women of all races in print and online.

I will continue to expand our distribution sites throughout underserved areas of our community.

I will expand our sponsorship of events that encourage inclusivity and diversity.

I will be open to feedback from you, our readers and followers, on how we can help make our community the place in which we love to live, safely and freely.

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Today’s Woman / July 2020

41

A Perfect Bread Pudding Formula Story and photos by Madeleine Dee Madeleine Dee (AKA The Seasoned Cynic) is the resident chef of Logan Street Market and the owner of Fond, Fond Originals, and Bold Bird Productions.

TheSeasonedCynic.com

l FLAVOR INSPIRATIONS: • Mint Chocolate Chip: Mint extract, dark chocolate chunks, mint candies for garnish.

• Almond Caramel: Caramel sauce, almond extract, and toasted almond slices.

• Raspberry Cream Cheese: Vanilla extract, caramel sauce, fresh raspberries, cold cubes of cream cheese, and toasted pistachios.

• Chocolate Hazelnut: Whisk a small container of hazelnut spread into the heavy cream mixture instead of a dessert sauce. Mix in toasted hazelnuts.

I

enjoy baking, but I don’t make a very good baker because I don’t like to follow directions to the letter. So, when I developed this recipe years ago, I did so with the intention of allowing for plenty of creativity. The result was a formula, simple enough to be used by cooks of all ages, into which an endless number of ingredient combinations could be plugged.

I’ve used this recipe for cooking classes and created at least 20 different bread pudding flavors with it. It’s simple, fun, and delicious.

Serves roughly 12 people

DIRECTIONS:

INGREDIENTS: • 2 cups dessert sauce (such as caramel, butterscotch, or chocolate), plus extra for drizzling • 2 cups heavy whipping cream • 1 tsp. extract (such as vanilla, orange, or peppermint) • 1 tbsp. liqueur or bourbon • 1 tsp. salt • 6 large eggs, room temperature •¼ cup sugar (light brown or granulated) • 1 regular baguette, cubed and toasted until golden brown • 1 cup “mix-ins,” optional (such as chocolate chunks, nuts, crushed cookies, or candy) • Non-stick cooking spray

1. Preheat oven to 350*F.

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2. Bring the cream and dessert sauce to a boil on the stove in a medium-sized pot, whisking occasionally. As soon as the liquid begins to rise up, immediately remove the pan from the heat and set it aside to cool for about 20 minutes.

3. In a large bowl, whisk together the extract, alcohol, salt, sugar, and eggs.

Very slowly whisk in the cream mixture from Step 2 until combined and smooth. Add in the toasted bread cubes and toss gently to coat them. Set aside for at least 30 minutes.

4. When the bread has soaked up most of the liquid and becomes soft, add your “mix-ins.”

5. Liberally spray a baking dish or the cups of a muffin tin with cooking spray, then spoon or pour the bread pudding mixture in. Add as much of the liquid as you can and sprinkle the top(s) with leftover chocolate, nuts, or candies.

6. Bake for 30-40 minutes for a large baking dish, or until the center is set. For muffin tins, bake for roughly 25-30 minutes.

7. Allow to rest for 10-15 minutes, then serve with ice cream, an extra drizzle of dessert sauce, or a sprinkle of chocolate or nuts.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

43

WHEN THE TRAVEL STOPS.

AND HOW TO START AGAIN.

By Carrie Vittitoe

T

he week of March 9, 2020, was “pure chaos,” according to Kris Billiter, owner of Magical Memories Tours & Travel. “Part of what I do is student group travel. I had eight schools scheduled to travel between February and June.

One of them actually traveled,” he says. He was scheduled to take Christian Academy of Louisville’s music department to New York City on March 12, but that trip was canceled the night before.

In the early weeks of social distancing, Kris and his agents spent most of their days talking with clients about refunds or just providing updates. “There was so much of it that was just out of our control; the best thing that we could have done at that time was to try to keep our clients as updated as possible,” he says. Cruise lines and other travel suppliers have been so overwhelmed that some Magical Moments clients are just now receiving refunds.

Although the headaches for travelers whose trips were canceled by airlines, cruise ships, or hotels in March, April, and May were numerous, the fact that the trips were canceled by the suppliers, in many cases, made things easier. While many travelers purchase trip insurance, there are limitations to what these policies cover. While getting sick with COVID-19

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might be covered, being fearful of traveling during a global pandemic is not. Heather Hurst, office manager at All About Travel, says that while her company always encourages travel insurance, “moving forward, the ‘Cancel for Any Reason’ policies will be top priority for booking travel into the future.”

The travel industry in many ways is in stasis. Many potential travelers are waiting to see what hotels, airlines, cruise ships, and amusement parks are going to do. Kris says he expects to see a second wave of cancellations among clients who are able to travel but don’t want to spend the money on an experience that won’t be anything like what they anticipated.

Disney, for example, has canceled all dining reservations and all FastPass Plus reservations until late 2020. “I know the temptation might be to hold on to the business that we have, but it’s better for business long-term when we put our clients’ needs first,” Kris says. “For a lot of families, going on a cruise or going to Disney World is a trip that they’ve saved for three or four years to pull off. Right now is probably not the best time for them to do that because they’re not going to get the experience that they’ve dreamed of. I tell my clients, ‘My job is to give you all the information that I can, and you make the best decision,’” he says.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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WHAT A MESS!

HOW DO WE GET BACK ON TRACK?

By Joyce Oglesby

Q: “Our family has gone

through a transition because of the recent pandemic. My husband is depressed because he had to close his business. He’s snappy with the kids and me and has relinquished his parenting duties, until he doesn’t like a decision I’ve made. Then we spiral into arguments. Working remotely from home, I relaxed our stance on screen time because the kids were bored.

It seemed the easiest solution to balancing everything at the time, but what a mess we are in emotionally, financially, and parentally. How do we get life back on track when normal seems to be a thing of the past?”

JOYCE’S FIX: Life will always comprise an element of adjustment. Whether we are stricken with a pandemic beyond our control or maturation of our children, we must adapt to the changes that emerge year in and year out. Things happen. It’s our response to the alterations in our daily lives that determines the emotional toll on us.

Let’s take your situation and find a new standard that will apply to your family.

1. Depression never defeats a true hero. Your husband needs to be reminded that he is the star of your family show. He did not fail; circumstances failed him.

2. Kids are kids. Parents should never forget that kids need instruction, guidance, and boundaries. You relaxed rules in a time of duress, but the reins must be tightened again.

Ease into it: “Hey, guys, today we’re going to cut down our screen time by 30 minutes.

Johnny, your extra 30 minutes will be spent mowing the backyard. Julie, your 30 minutes will be organizing your closet.” Take five minutes and compose a list of helpful projects your children can do around the house.(Oh, and let Dad help with the list and monitor the activities. Get him back in the parenting game.)

3. Lessons. If nothing else, during this adverse time, we have learned a few things about what’s really important in life. Mealtime together has happened again — at least I hope it has in your home. This is a fabulous opportunity for discussion about topics such as: • Time. The one thing that has been equalized for us all — and that truly has never changed — is we’ve become more aware of the distribution of time. How will we continue to spend that precious commodity?

• Contentment. “Things” will never bring a content state of mind. Love, however, is still the bond that satisfies a hunger within us that cannot be ignored.

When efforts invested resound with positive, encouraging tones, your newfound family standard will be one that finds each of you a survivor of life under fire.

Struggling with a relationship issue? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family Life FIX-IT Pro at justaskjoyce@gmail.com and find a solution for life.

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Today’s Woman / July 2020

47

PARENTING IN A PANDEMIC

WHAT KIDS NEED TO NAVIGATE THESE UNCHARTERED WATERS

By Lorri Malone

O

ver the course of the last few months, our collective focus has been on protecting those who are most at risk to suffer the effects of COVID-19: The elderly, people with compromised immune systems, and those with underlying, chronic health conditions.

And while those populations have warranted the spotlight, there’s another vulnerable group dealing with the effects of a global pandemic who have been largely overshadowed … kids.

“Kids are in need of special support,” says Kelly McGraw Browning, PsD, a licensed clinical psychologist and owner of Pediatric Psychological Associates. Browning, who sees patients age 2 to 18 at her Louisville practice and says the effects of the lockdown — sudden changes to routines, schedules, and social isolation — can leave children feeling tense.

“The first few weeks after school was canceled, so many kids were stressed and anxious about the big changes to their day,” Browning says. “Kids were worried about catching the virus, people they love getting sick … on top of dealing with a big change of schedule and routine.”

Browning says her patients who already deal with underlying conditions like anxiety, depression, or ADHD found

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their symptoms exacerbated in the midst of all these changes — even if they didn’t entirely understand what the changes were about.

“A lot of the younger kids I’ve seen have had an increase in symptoms and behavior problems — acting out, fits, tantrums — even if they didn’t know what was going on,” she says.

What the younger ones did know was that their daily routine had changed, from going to preschool and having playdates to being home with the whole family all of the time.

“Families had to prioritize things like their job situation to help the kids who were in school; to deal with job loss and generally worry about adult matters,” Browning says. “I think that explains a lot of the younger kids’ behavior. They don’t understand what coronavirus is, but they can sense that something is wrong.”

Julie Ciriano, LCSW, a therapist with Meridian Integrative Wellness in Louisville, says the teen and college-age clients she works with have handled the changes relatively well during the pandemic because, “They have the support systems in place.” But she adds, “I’ve seen the ones without a strong support system really struggle with this.”

Older kids, who may have a better understanding of why the changes to their routines were made, still may have had difficulty as time went on and they began to miss seeing their friends, teachers, and other adults, like grandparents, in person. The lack of extracurricular activities in the form of team sports, church youth groups, and clubs may have played a factor in some of the older patients Browning sees feeling depressed.

“I think the impact of not having spring sports — no exercise, no stress relief, they missed seeing their teammates — factored in kids feeling upset,” Browning says.

Ciriano echoes that, “The loss of school, seeing friends, their work … it leaves them with a lack of purpose.”

Still, Browning points out, the silver lining in forced isolation is that it has shown the importance of human connection. And it forced inventive solutions for commemorating important milestones, occasions, and traditions so kids didn’t feel like they were missing out entirely. Virtual graduations, birthday caravans, and sidewalk chalk art have become popular ways to get together when we have to be apart.

“This whole situation has caused a lot of people to be creative, to find creative ways to celebrate. I’ve been so impressed by that,” Browning says.

“That’s a good thing that came out of this.”

Ciriano adds some kids may still need time to grieve for those milestones, no matter creative the celebration. “They may still feel sadness, mad, confusion,” she says. “Let them know they can feel however they want to feel.”

Another milestone coming up in the weeks ahead is the start of a new school year, an occasion that can fill any child with a mix of anticipation and dread in the most normal of situations, but especially in a time when there’s no blueprint for what the school year will look like for preschool to college.

Ciriano advises parents to validate their kids’ apprehension about the knowns ahead. “It’s ok for parents to say, ‘I don’t know what the future holds, but it will still be fine,’” she says. “Let them know whatever they’re feeling is ok.

Just offer lots of encouragement and let them know that while it’s going to seem weird for them, it’s also going to be fine.”

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO TO HELP THEIR KIDS MANAGE THEIR FEELINGS?

• Model good behavior for rules like social distancing when you do go out.

• Answer your child’s questions honestly. Most children are aware of what’s going on to some extent, so ask them what they understand. Be supportive of their curiosity.

• Get the family out of the house for activities and exercise.

• Minimize televised news.

• Discuss adult matters privately to avoid increasing your child’s stress.

• Build structure into the day.

• Encourage virtual communication with the friends and family they can’t see in person. Rethink screen time limits for video games and appropriate social media, perhaps allowing a little more leniency to accommodate the social benefits of virtual connection. But still keep that time supervised. “You don’t want them living in a virtual world either,” Ciriano adds.

• If parents are comfortable, let kids resume participation in group activities, like team sports, within prescribed guidelines.

• Self-care is important for parents.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids,” Browning says.

• Get help if you need it. Children experiencing changes in sleep patterns, appetite, personality changes, or issues getting along with others that aren’t resolved through normal coping mechanisms may benefit from a professional evaluation.

“THEY MAY STILL FEEL SADNESS, MAD, CONFUSION. LET THEM KNOW THEY CAN FEEL HOWEVER THEY WANT TO FEEL.” — JULIE CIRIANO

Today’s Woman / July 2020

49

28 THINGS (Why 28? Because we are 28 years old!)

Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month

By Anita Oldham

Summer Nights

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During July we have close to 14 hours of daylight each day. Here are some suggestions about ways to get more out of the long days and those sweet summer nights.

Photo courtesy of eastendcrossing.com

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SEE ART AND READ BOOKS TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE WORLD.

The Speed Art Museum opens July 5, but you can also consider Speed’s Membership Coordinator LaShana Avery’s book suggestions. speedmuseum.org/speed-online/ recommended-reading

WALK ACROSS THE LEWIS AND CLARK BRIDGE TRAIL

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LOOK UP AND WATCH THE SUNSET, THE STARS, AND THE PLANETS. On July 14, Jupiter will be especially easy to see because it is opposite the sun.

(2.5 miles and map available on traillink.com). You can enter at Old Salem Road in Jeffersonville or River Road in Prospect.

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CATCH A DRIVE-IN MOVIE • Georgetown, Indiana georgetowndrivein.com • LaGrange, Kentucky sauerbeckfamilydrivein.com

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DRIVE OUT TO THE COUNTRY TO SEE THE MOON Full Moons: July 5 or August 3

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PICK UP SOME ICE CREAM AT EHRLER’S ICE CREAM and eat it by the Ohio River in Waterfront Park.

IG: @ehrlersicecream

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Today’s Woman / July 2020

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28 THINGS

WHEN YOU NEED A HAPPINESS BREAK? @brunotheears

@Leigeanddairy

Can you tell 7-9 I am wearing sweatpants?

By Tiffany White Photo submitted

For those of us who are working from home or in meetings with those far away, video meetings continue to be a standard way of communicating with our colleagues — and a window into our imperfect lives.

WORK, INTERRUPTED Yapping dogs and attentionseeking kids are common in many of our households, but it doesn’t mean we should hide it or be embarrassed.

Leah Brown, an executive coach, author, speaker, consultant, and Dare to Lead facilitator, says, “We are much more worried about what people think about our environment...we need to understand and accept our own reality of what we are working with.”

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Food truck setting in Jeffersontown KY behind the Gaslight Animal Hospital.

@bluedogbakeryandcafe

@river_city_retro

Things to look at when you just need some happy. @phillysbestfrozendesserts

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SHOW EMPATHY THE RIGHT WAY Uncertainty about the future has added an extra layer of stress, but showing kindness to your colleagues and yourself is an important coping mechanism. Leah says to be more caring, we must stop looking at what makes us different and search for our commonalities. “You can’t give other people what you don’t give yourself.

If someone is hurting, what is it you can draw from in your experience to identify with that experience as well?”

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@agaveandrye

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FIND YOUR SWEET SPOT Thriving in your new work situation, Leah says, is about recognizing when you are most productive and seizing those moments. Leah says her peak time for creativity happens when she is applying her makeup in the morning.

“Now, I take a notebook and a pen to the bathroom and as things come to me, I drop what I am doing and write it down. If people will pay attention to when those creative bursts are coming or their productive time is coming, they can recreate that situation for themselves.”

Bruno, the Italian greyhound mix rescue pup, hits the local areas.

@makeupbytiamao

l Kudos to Polly Singer, a Kentucky hat artist, who has a new hat line saluting female achievers from the past. Each hat on her website, hatsandveils.net, comes with a mini-history lesson.

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The “Marie” is inspired after Marie Curie, a Polish physicist and chemist who pioneered research on radioactivity.

TALK, the Metro Louisville’s Area Tech Council, is bringing its board members to teach free virtual summer camps to middle school age girls from the nationallyknown TechGirlz. curricula.talklou.com

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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28 THINGS Photos by Melissa Donald

NEED A LITTLE VINTAGE IN YOUR LIFE? If you haven’t been inside the Fleur de Flea, vintage urban market, here’s a sneak peek.

Open Thursday-Sunday in Paristown, 947 E. Breckinridge Street, Louisville.

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THE NEW BUILD

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GIVING A HAND

The Food Literacy Project is sharing harvest with neighbors in need instead of taking those crops to market. Fresh vegetables from Iroquois Urban Farm, an 8-acre thriving farm on the site of the former Iroquois Homes complex off Taylor Boulevard. The Food Literacy Project is working in partnership with South Louisville Community Ministries and Southwest Community Ministries to distribute the fresh food grown. foodliteracyproject.org 26. “So far, this growing season, salad mix, spinach, and radishes have been harvested and shared. (They have) added some life, color, and nutrition to our staple items, and our families could not be more grateful,” said Clare Wallace, Executive Director of South Louisville Community Ministries.

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Here’s a look at the whole house featured on page 26. Catch more of home builder Tracee Dore on the locally produced show Behind the Build. She teamed up with Kimberly Greenwell, KAG Media Consulting and producer of My Southern Home. You can watch these shows on WBKI-CW 58 on Sunday mornings.

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28. Have a story you want to share? Email Anita@ TodaysMediaNow.com.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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FOR THE CAREGIVER SHARING SOLUTIONS

Caregivers are always looking for solutions and new ways to improve the lives of their loved ones.

Here are some suggestions shared by local experts that might help enhance someone’s day or life.

By Tiffany White

“THE GREAT SECRET THAT ALL OLD PEOPLE SHARE IS THAT YOU REALLY HAVEN'T CHANGED IN 70 OR 80 YEARS. YOUR BODY CHANGES, BUT YOU DON'T CHANGE AT ALL.” — Doris Lessing

HEARING DEVICES & HEALTH Several hearing aid manufacturers are now including built-in sensors that sync with smartphone apps to track the wearer’s heart rate, quality of sleep, levels of physical activity, or other information. There are many different health and lifestyle indicators that can be obtained and measured through the ear, says Dr. Ingrid Edwards, clinical director and audiologist at Heuser Hearing Institute.

An important safety feature available with some models is the ability to send out an alert to designated contacts when a fall is detected.

— Yelena Sapin

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A TREAT EVERY DAY “For those living alone, be sure they have the essentials and a few treats to enjoy each day. You can deliver groceries, fresh flowers, their favorite magazines — whatever you know gives them comfort in their daily lives. A small gift like a framed photo of a family member or a small photo album they can flip through and smile at when they are feeling lonely would be a nice surprise to find among the groceries and laundry soap!

If you can’t deliver in person, use one of the many delivery services available. Send them a surprise dinner one day from their favorite restaurant that is still delivering.”

— Joanne Flatt, regional director, Bluebird Homecare

VIRTUAL CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUPS • University of Louisville Trager Institute Caregiver 101 Support Group WHEN Meets Tuesdays from 12-1pm via BlueJeans video conferencing CONTACT Tragerinstitute.org • Visionary Caregivers Connect Time WHEN Meets Thursdays @ 10am via Zoom; sessions last 30-45 minutes CONTACT Visionarycaregivers.com

TO MAKE FRIENDS: ASK OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS Becky Peak, senior companion coordinator at Elderserve, recommends faith-based organizations, senior centers, and congregate meal sites as starting places for older adults to seek activities that put them in contact with individuals with shared interests. Elderserve is another resource, which helps connect older adults with each other and strives to be a premier support for helping seniors thrive. As companion coordinator, she encourages her companions — independent older adults who volunteer to check on older home-bound clients or those who have other issues — to ask questions that go beyond just “How are you?” and “Do you need anything?” A question like, “Did you ever go kite-flying in the summer?” is open-ended and allows individuals to reminisce and find common experiences.

— Carrie Vittitoe

• Alzheimer’s Association 24-hour Helpline The groups correspond by phone, and the association offers a support group for people who are unable to visit with a family member staying in a long-term care community because of social distancing.

CONTACT 800.272.3900 • Living with Lewy Facebook Support Group CONTACT facebook.com/groups/ LBDALivingwithLewy/ WHEN Meets weekly on Zoom If you have a support group that you think we should be aware of, please email Tiffany@ TodaysMediaNow.com.

SUMMER 2020

MAKE A CALL Joanne Flatt, regional director of Bluebird Homecare, says calling a loved one who lives in a longterm care community is essential during social distancing. “Chat for a while. Have the grandchildren call them. Have their old friends call them. Sometimes people need a little prodding to get them to make a phone call, but it’s worth the effort and they’ll be glad they did it.” w

TODAY’S TRANSITIONS MAGAZINE Check out the latest issue of Today’s Transitions. Also, an updated list of caregiving options are available at TodaysTransitionsNow.com.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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Alzheimer’s Care Safe Caring Places

By Carrie Vittitoe Photos by Melissa Donald

Families whose loved ones have Alzheimer’s understand that this progressive disease is stressful. The individuals with the disease may no longer recognize once-familiar spaces and faces, which causes them tremendous anxiety.

Family members may experience sadness over seeing changes in their loved one’s behavior and personality. Add in the COVID-19 pandemic, and the stress of Alzheimer’s is magnified to an overwhelming degree.

Local memory care communities Anthology of Louisville, Barton House Memory Care, and Heartsong Memory Care, have responded to the changes wrought by COVID-19 in ways that keep their residents physically safe as well as keep changes to their routines at a minimum. Through flexibility, team work, and communication with families, they are striving to ensure the best possible care under difficult circumstances.

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PROMOTION

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our experts “The most successful transitions [for residents] are the ones where we are using a partnership between families and caregivers because they know their loved one the most.”

MOLLY GUNN Virtue Memory Care Director Anthology of Louisville

ANTHOLOGY OF LOUISVILLE is located at 1105 Dorsey Lane in Louisville.

“Our goal is to reduce the progression of disease while increasing quality of life. The entire facility from the cosmetic piece to the programming piece to the meals is all related to the goal of helping someone with dementia have a better life.”

AMY CLARK Director Barton House Memory Care

BARTON HOUSE MEMORY CARE is located at 6830 Overlook Drive in Louisville.

“Caregiving is a hard job, and at-home caregivers need a lot of support. When it’s time for them to make a decision to hand over the full-time care of their loved one to a facility, we provide them with support and resources.”

SHEILA CARTER President Heartsong Memory Care

HEARTSONG MEMORY CARE is located at 9260 Stonestreet Road in Louisville.

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Alzheimer’s Care Directory Alzheimer’s care is provided at different levels, from assisted living to the skilled care of nursing/rehab.

Some facilities accept Alzheimer’s patients into their general care, and others have separate units designed to meet the specific needs of patients with this disease.

The Aldersgate at Wesley Manor 5012 E Manslick Rd, Louisville, KY 40219 (502) 969-3277 • WesMan.org

Number of beds: 28 Separate unit: yes Cost per month: $4755-$5170 all inclusive Special services: Personal Care, including full medication management, licensed nurse on site 24/7, rehab and physician services, geriatric psychiatrist, secure memory garden, daily activities, chapel, beauty salon, satellite TV package, long-tenured staff. Priority placement for short-term rehab and skilled nursing. No long-term contracts, entrance fees or deposits. See Nursing/Rehab directory for advanced Alzheimer’s/dementia care.

Owner: Methodist Retirement Homes of Kentucky Payment Accepted: private, LTCi, VA

Anthology of Louisville

1105 Dorsey Ln, Louisville, KY 40223

(502) 966-7077 • anthologyseniorliving.com Number of beds: 38 Separate unit: yes Cost per day: starts at $167 Level of care: personal care Special services: Our Memory care program gives residents and their families the support they need for living with memory loss. The supportive memory care at Anthology is delivered in a kind, compassionate way that is reflective of the resident’s lifestyles, routines and comfort levels. Our care is designed to draw on the resident’s strengths and allow them to maintain existing abilities while filling in the gaps in life skills with an appropriate level of assistance.

Owner: Anthology Senior Living Payment Accepted: private, private ins., LTCi, VA

List your Alzheimer’s care facility in this space.

Call 502.327.8855 to discover more about this opportunity.

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THE BUILDING There are various ways to structure the environment in which memory care patients live. And like each individual, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all community. Each has its own unique flavor and design.

Anthology of Louisville’s Virtue Memory Care is situated on the top floor of the complex, which allows great views and bright sunlight for residents. With a capacity for close to 40 residents, it offers a wide range of living options for those who move in, including couples. “Some of our rooms are pretty spacious, and we do have companion suites, which can be very successful for memory care,” says Virtue Director Molly Gunn. One bedroom apartments are also an option. While residents’ rooms have space for beds and a small seating area, Gunn stresses the importance of residents getting out and interacting with others. “You want them to be engaging most of the day,” Molly says.

Barton House is a 20-bed, home-like residence that exclusively offers memory care/ personal care and is celebrating its 20th anniversary this summer. “We are the longest [operating] free-standing memory care in Louisville,” Director Amy Clark says. All rooms are private, and residents are able to paint and design their rooms exactly as they like so that it is familiar to them. “Every room is the same size and layout,” says Amy, but each room is personalized to suit each resident. The building is a circle so residents can walk without meeting a dead-end with the nurses station in the center.

Heartsong is a licensed personal care home specializing in Alzheimer’s care in southwest Jefferson County. The 36-bed community has the feel of a big sprawling ranch home. “We aren’t formal in attitude or furnishings,” President Sheila Carter says.

“We want residents to relax and feel at home. This is their home.” Each room is similar to a small studio apartment with a bedroom, closet, and private bath. Heartsong also features a communal dining room, great room, library, and several small tv parlors.

With a secure perimeter, Heartsong provides an open environment that allows residents to move freely without feeling confined. A favorite area for residents is the PAGE 61>>

Thriving At Anthology Teresa Denley’s mother is a thriving resident at Anthology because of the personalized care and attention she receives. “My family [is] thankful every day that she is in the care of [their] great staff,” she says.

Anthology uses the iN2L software program to keep residents engaged.

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courtyard and garden area, which includes raised beds containing squash, tomatoes, peas, and green beans. Both residents and guests can visit the five hens that live in the courtyard coop and provide eggs for snacks and side dishes.

THE CARE Anthology utilizes a number of programs to help ensure memory care residents’ social, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual needs are met. Fit Minds is a cognitive stimulation program that helps encourage memory care residents to think but not to a point where they become frustrated. Group discussions on topics and various types of puzzles are just two of the activities that Anthology uses to help memory care residents.

Molly says iN2L, a software program that Anthology uses at all times, has been especially helpful during the COVID-19 quarantine. “iN2L supports a Family Portal allowing you to create a specific engagement profile for your loved one. You could upload There are various family albums and send messages straight to ways to structure the your resident,” she says. Molly says iN2L is an environment in which engagement software that can be utilized for memory care patients almost everything: leading exercise, trivia, travel club, music, relaxation. This tool will support us, live. And like each individual, there isn’t Molly says, in leading both group and one-on-one engagement opportunities. The content is varied to a one-size-fits-all support different levels of cognitive abilities so the community. Each has system can be effectively utilized.

its own unique flavor and design.

Barton House staff is trained in de-escalating techniques and behavior modifications and uses research-based techniques, including those from Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care, to guide everything they do. Residents have five meals a day and activities seven days a week in an effort to slow the progression of Alzheimer’s disease while also improving residents’ quality of life.

Heartsong utilizes the Best Friends Approach to helping their memory care residents.

“The cornerstone [of this approach] is the Life Story, a detailed history provided by the family, which allows staff to really get to know each individual and relate to them as their friend,” Sheila says. This friendship-focused care helps staff be both proactive, because they know their patients’ temperaments and behaviors, as well as react appropriately. “Most situations are to be taken in stride, gently redirecting individuals as needed or giving the person their space,” Sheila says.

While activities are planned for all seven days of the week, Sheila says individual encounters between staff and residents occur all throughout the day. “At Heartsong, employees are encouraged to spend time in meaningful interaction with residents,” she says. “Tasks and relationship-building don’t have to be mutually exclusive.” When staff reminisce with residents using what they know from their life stories, Sheila says it stimulates residents’ brains, builds trust, and makes the task easier for staff and residents.

Alzheimer’s Care Directory Barton House Memory Care

6830 Overlook Dr, Louisville, KY 40241 (502) 423-7177 • bartonlouisville.com

Number of beds: 20 Separate unit: yes (freestanding) Cost per month: $5950 Level of care: personal care Special services: Designed for Alzheimer’s & memory impairments. Dignified & individualized care, from meals to the activities they participate in, and how their room is decorated. Provides pets to love & care for, frequent meals promoting socialization, tree-filled backyard with a patio and walking path. Staff trained in dementia. Medical care by our nurses, therapists, psychiatrist & doctor.

Owner: Goodworks Payment Accepted: private, LTCi

Dominion Senior Living of Louisville

6000 Hunting Rd, Louisville, KY 40222

(502) 812-1556 • dominionseniorliving.com/louisville Number of beds: 20 Separate unit: yes Cost per month: $4950 Level of care: personal care Special services: All-inclusive pricing with no additional levels of care charges. Three homestyle meals served in our beautiful dining room, full-service salon, including manicures/pedicures, housekeeping and laundry, wifi and cable, transportation assistance, secured outdoor courtyard, wellness services which includes activities of daily living, bathing, dressing, grooming, incontinence management, medication administration and dementia geared activities.

Owner: Dominion Senior Living, LLC Payment Accepted: private, private ins., VA

Enclave of East Louisville

100 Shelby Station Dr, Louisville, KY 40245 (502) 632-5500 • symphonyofoaklawn.com

CHALLENGES OF QUARANTINE COVID-19 has been a challenge for all memory care communities. The connection and socialization that is so much a part of the treatment for managing Alzheimer’s disease was what the pandemic impacted.

It has been difficult for families to not be able to visit their loved ones during these months. Anthology staff has used FaceTime and telephone calls between families and loved ones, as well as increased communication and texting between families and staff. “I feel for families, especially memory care families. This can’t be easy. You can’t fully get a good picture of what is going on from your loved one [via phone calls or FaceTime]. They’ve really got to put a lot of trust in us, and I appreciate the trust that they’ve given us, but I understand that it’s hard,” Molly says.

Number of beds: 34 Separate unit: yes Cost per day: $147-$233 Level of care: personal care Special services: Intimate secured memory care neighborhood with private apartments and bathrooms, beautiful landscaped courtyard, enclosed sunroom, and activities rooms. Nurses and caregivers 24 hours/day, medication management.

Owner: Bridge Senior Living Payment Accepted: LTCi, VA

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Alzheimer’s Care Directory The Grand Senior Living

9300 Civic Way, Prospect, KY 40059 (502) 310-1542 • thegrand-sl.com

Number of beds: 24 Separate unit: yes Cost per day: $161-$226 Level of care: personal care Special services: Housekeeping, laundry services, 24/7 nursing staff trained in Dementia care, activity program, secured outdoor courtyard, menu items to delight a variety of taste, assistance with dining, medications and incontinence management.

All-inclusive pricing. Short term stays available. Signature Passion Program with family care services and support groups Owner: Management, Civitas Senior Living Payment Accepted: private, LTCi, VA

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Although Virtue is located on the third floor, under normal circumstances, staff would utilize the entire building to assist memory care residents. However, COVID-19 has changed the way staff is able to use common spaces. Anthology’s movie theater and exercise rooms were closed, for example. Anthology’s staff has worked to follow health directives from the state while also recognizing the limitations of what memory care residents will tolerate. Memory care residents who like to wander could experience heightened levels of anxiety or agitation if they are forced to stay in their rooms. It can be a challenge to manage the health concerns associated with the virus while also managing residents’ emotional and mental needs.

Despite changes that COVID-19 has brought to how Anthology staff manage space and where residents are able to be, Molly says staff has tried as much as possible to keep routines the same because of the sense of security they provide. Keeping staff consistent in the midst of the pandemic is also critical to the well-being of the residents.

Barton House staff changed the way they did activities, too. Rather than having all residents together, staff separated residents in the activities room and the dining room to increase physical distancing. “We changed our entire protocol,” Amy says.

Residents use hand sanitizer prior to each meal and afterwards receive a warm, disinfected washcloth. Barton House increased its janitorial staff to ensure that thorough disinfection can happen to all surfaces, including walkers and shoes. The foyer is disinfected both before and after an individual family member visits while sitting on one side of a big window with a phone while their loved one sits on the PAGE 71>>

Heartsong Memory Care

9260 Stonestreet Rd, Louisville, KY 40272 (502) 935-3300 • heartsong-mc.com Number of beds: 36 Separate unit: yes (freestanding) Cost per month: $4950-$5250 Level of care: personal care Special services: Private rooms w/private showers; secure courtyards; meals & snacks; activities 7 days/wk; therapies, geriatric psych specialist & primary MD/NP visits on site; meds managed & administered by Licensed Nurses 24 hours/day. SHORT TERM STAYS available.

Owner: Heartsong Memory Care, LLC Payment Accepted: private, LTCi, VA Aid & Attendance

Let Our Readers Know What Makes Your Business Stand Out! List your Alzheimer’s care facility in this space.

Call 502.327.8855 to discover more about this opportunity.

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Thriving At Barton House Memory Care Families of Barton House residents see their loved ones thriving because of the close familynature of the community. “Let me tell you, this place has the most loving and caring families that I have ever seen. If you have a loved one with a memory care issue, rest assured, that shared support is key to continuing moving forward,” says Jimmie Sue, whose father is a thriving Barton House resident. Not only do residents thrive, but so do their families.

Staff at Barton House Memory Care are following health and safety guidelines. Pictured are staff members Stephanie Twum, Martha McMahel, Tracy Lattis, Amy Clark, and Allison Cavanah.

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other side with a phone. Residents continue to have temperature checks three times at shift changes.

Amy and her colleagues utilized a unique approach to keeping residents connected to their families during COVID. A YouTube channel was created on which Barton House staff can (with signed releases on file) post videos of residents in activities so families can see what they are doing. Families are able to upload videos of themselves and their activities as a way to keep in contact. Amy says a resident who said he missed his wife’s spaghetti was able to watch a video of her making spaghetti. Another residents’ family got a new dog so the resident was able to see a video of the new pet.

At Heartsong, “daily programming is designed to prevent isolation,” Sheila says, which means COVID put a kink into the usual routine for both residents and staff. Heartsong management worked alongside the inspector general and state epidemiologists to ensure they were following infection-control measures while minimizing the disruption to their residents’ lives since that can cause anxiety and agitation. “I am so grateful for the direct accessibility to these leaders as we began preparing and implementing adaptations,” she says.

Sheila says residents adjusted to seeing staff in masks and distancing in the dining room during meals. The hardest challenge was refraining from hugs, but staff continued to find non-physical ways to ensure residents felt loved and reassured.

While Heartsong staff has tried to make phone and video calls between families and residents, this has sometimes been a challenge, especially since residents with advanced Alzheimer’s disease are often unable to operate phones or maintain attention without staff assistance. Window visits have become the norm for residents and families for the time being. Because Heartsong staff had the trust of families prior to the pandemic, Sheila says it helped everyone have patience and accept the new limitations.

Alzheimer’s Care Directory The Legacy at English Station 13700 English Villa Dr, Louisville, KY 40245

(502) 254-2361 • legacyatenglishstation.com Number of beds: 60 Separate unit: yes (freestanding) Cost per month: $5200 Level of care: personal care Special services: Alzheimer’s and dementia care provided by compassionate, highly trained caregivers; programs and amenities designed to honor unique life stories. Gated courtyards; family style dining; gorgeous surroundings.

Owner: Trilogy Health Services, LLC Payment Accepted: private

Symphony at Valley Farms

10201 Valley Farms Blvd. Way, Louisville, KY 40272 (502) 937-3028 • symphonyatvalleyfarms.com Number of beds: 34 Separate unit: yes Cost per day: $129-$152 Level of care: assisted living Special services: Our Memory Care offers a unique program called In The Moment, this focuses on the individual person instead of pre-determined activities, this approach engages your loved one in the moment they are experiencing right now and provides a compassionate and meaningful interaction.

Owner: Milestone Retirement Payment Accepted: LTCi, VA

The Springs at Stony Brook

2200 Stony Brook Dr, Louisville, KY 40220 (502) 491-4692 • springsatstonybrook.com

Jim Grundy’s family appreciates the staff at Heartsong Memory Care.

Thriving At Heartsong Memory Care Pam Grundy’s husband, Jim, is a thriving resident at Heartsong Memory Care whether he is celebrating a special day or it is just an average Tuesday. “We are very pleased with the care Jim is getting at Heartsong. [The staff] always tells us how well he is doing or how he has improved. We applaud them for their care,” she says.

Number of beds: 18 Separate unit: yes Cost per day: starting at $154 Level of care: personal care Special services: Alzheimer’s and dementia care provided by compassionate, highly trained caregivers; programs and amenities designed to honor unique life stories. Gated courtyards; family style dining; gorgeous surroundings.

Owner: Trilogy Health Services, LLC Payment Accepted: private

Let Our Readers Know What Makes Your Facility Stand Out! Call 502.327.8855 to discover more about this opportunity.

Today’s Woman / July 2020

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DO YOU NEED A BREAK?

By Bob Mueller

D

o we think it’s weak to need a break? Do we ignore the need to recharge our batteries?

Responsibility for our own lives requires us to recognize the need to restore our energy.

A good way to check our energy level is to observe our breathing and our movement. Many of us breathe in our own exhaust fumes. Is your breathing more a panting where there is never enough time to do all the things you think you must do? Or is your breathing a sighing where you are filled with feelings of regret or grief or yearning or mourning? Or do you whimper with a lack of excitement and always complain or protest your circumstances? Renewal can come from deep breaths that reach to the soul for complete restoration of spirit.

We often think that the opposite of work is play. It’s not. It’s rest. It’s so important to breathe deeply in and then deeply out.

Another way to check yourself is to observe your movement. So many people approach life with the

thought of seeing how little they can do, rather than how much. The grunt worker goes along the narrow groove of immediate responsibility, giving no more than paid for, taking no interest in anything beyond basic obligation.

This person never turns an intelligent and inquiring thought toward what might be a better relationship of the thing he is doing to the larger works of which that thing is a part.

Study the successful people in life. You will find that they never lived on the minimum plan. They are responding to life seeing whatever they are doing as an art and not just a science. They live in movement with the noise, the litter, the clutter of life. They can handle the untidiness of humanity. And along with that they can loiter and linger in their movements to celebrate the ecstasy of everyday living.

I find that I renew myself best by living insanely every day. Here are some things that help me: 1) Learn to live with chaos. Life is constantly changing. We must

embrace change and enjoy the chaos.

2) Take a stand. Don’t be a wimp.

Believe in something and someone else besides yourself.

3) Do something dramatic. Write a book. Do something you normally wouldn’t. Stretch yourself.

4) Shut up once in a while. This is especially true if you are aggressive.

There is such power in listening.

5) Make space for imagination. Let your imagination run wild. When we decide to be less controlling, we begin to believe in possibilities we didn’t allow before.

6) Create images of abundance.

It’s the positive way to look at life.

I often think of weeds, dandelions, and insects. All three are forever abundant.

7) Read the comics first and look for the best jokes you can find. Every day I take great delight in looking for the lighter side of life to balance the seriousness of everyday living.

Today, be aware of your need to renew your energy. As long as we live, we are in need of being renewed.

Bob Mueller is the mission and stewardship officer at Hosparus Health, bobmueller.org.

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