Dealing with loneliness during the holidays

By Tonilyn Hornung

Decking the halls this holiday season may look a little different. Holiday dinners are being moved outside by the fire pit to keep social distancing more efficient, plans are being canceled to keep older family members safe. This buck in traditions can lead to strong feelings of loneliness.

says Sally Connolly, a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Couples Counseling of Louisville. With this predisposed need within us, missing out on gatherings with families or that annual holiday shopping trip with friends can trigger a more noticeable sense of loneliness.

Nicole Sartini-Cprek, clinical director, therapist, and co-founder of Bridge Counseling and Wellness, says, “Our brains are patternrecognizing machines. We feel a sense of safety when we recognize familiar routines or familiar traditions. Seeing those patterns change can cause an internal sense of anxiety for a lot of people.”

With our holiday routines being thrown off and not seeing those we care about, this level of change can be unnerving. “There’s no doubt that the pandemic is bringing this feeling out for a lot of people,” Nicole says.

If you have sensations of emptiness that become too intense or “are interrupting your ability to perform your responsibilities, then that’s something that needs to be addressed,” Nicole says. If you find yourself slipping in and out of these feelings throughout the day or week but can still function as usual, these are generally feelings that can be navigated.

“When you think about things you appreciate for 30 seconds, you start to change the chemistry in your brain so that you can start to feel more positive,” Sally says.

• “Do something that you find meaningful,” Nicole says. Engaging in an activity you find meaningful can improve your mood and fill you with a renewed sense of purpose. Try several before you settle on one. If you’re choosing to stay socially distant, Sally says, “there are all kinds of online groups ranging from church groups to book clubs.”

yourself. “Thirty minutes a day of exercise can make a huge difference — especially if you can get outside,” Sally says. Exercise releases endorphins that trigger a positive feeling in the body.

or video call. “It can be the quality of social interaction that matters more than the quantity,”

Nicole says. Having that one friend or supportive group you can speak with in an authentic way makes a difference. Sally says video platforms are a wonderful way to recreate holiday rituals. “Think about ways that you marked the holiday in the past. Then, try to redo it, like everyone watching the same holiday movie and then talk about it.”

What is now Heuser Hearing Institute was founded in 1948 by three volunteer teachers — Barbara Daugherty, Alice Clark, and Ruth Browning — who worked with young, hearing-impaired students on Saturday mornings in the basement of the Women’s Club of Louisville. True to its roots more than seven decades later, the nonprofit organization, which provides educational and clinical services to some 6,200 Kentuckiana children and adults annually across five locations, boasts an all-female management team: Clinical Director Dr. Ingrid Edwards, Director of Philanthropy Shannon Kisselbaugh, Executive Assistant Makayla Bell, Education Director Debbie Woods, and Clinical Administrative Supervisor Tiffany Price. They coordinate and supervise the work of 46 women on staff who are audiologists, educators, therapists, and clinicians. Just seven men work at the institute, including CEO Brett Bachmann, who says, “In my time working with these amazing women, I’ve been inspired by their strong leadership, tireless dedication, and endless creativity. It’s a pleasure to work together every day, and I know learning from their insight and expertise has also helped me grow into a better leader.”

Ingrid, an audiologist, says many women gravitate toward fields that encompass education and therapy, and believes there’s another compelling draw: “We go into business more often to look at how we can impact the community. That’s what makes this campus exceptional.” With a mission “to support, promote, and create healthy hearing throughout the Kentucky and Indiana communities we serve,” Ingrid says it’s easy to stay focused. “A child with hearing loss is the epitome of the voiceless. Hearing loss is often a disease of poverty because of issues with pre- and post-natal health care, and then they can’t speak for themselves.” Shannon, the Director of Philanthropy, likewise notes the importance of relationships with donors and of finding a match between individual donor goals and the needs and programs of the organization. The moment when that clicks, she says, is “magic.” The five women on the management team bring diverse backgrounds and perspectives and draw on that to collaborate. Everyone at Heuser cares about each patient and also about the ongoing need to keep the organization running. Despite the challenges of the COVID-19 crisis, for example, a recent virtual version of an annual fundraiser brought in the most money in the history of the event. “For the whole staff to be able to leave every day with a goal that’s much larger than one patient at a time,” Ingrid says, “I think that’s what keeps us here.”

L to R, seated: Tiffany Price, Shannon Kisselbaugh. L to R, standing: Debbie Woods, Makayla Bell, and Dr. Ingrid Edwards.