Today's Woman November 2019

Healing START

m a k eovers

REVEALED

+ HOLIDAY

g ift gui d e

NOVEMBER 2019

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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contents NOVEMBER 2019

spotlight 6 CURRENT OBSESSIONS Finding her rhythm of life

8 WORK WARDROBE

Mixing the tough with the professional

10 FOND OF LOUISVILLE

8 38 LEGAL ADVICE You can protect yourself

40 TRADITIONS

Building memories

42 HOME OF THE INNOCENTS Women unite to gift $106,000

32 TRAVEL

50 27 GIFTS Gifts that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month

34 JUST ASK JOYCE

58 CELEBRATIONS Sarah Ford and Chris Fowler

Simple homemade dinner rolls Travel that gives you superpowers Stay At Home Mom Asks ‘Should I Get a Job?’

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features

12 The Healing Issue:

It’s time to heal.

• Healing Your Mind and Spirit (p. 14)

• Take a Deep Breath: How locals are working to heal the air (p. 18) • The Weight of Grief: Will I ever feel lighter? (p. 20) • Find Healing in Natural Products (p. 22) • Escaping the Minefield in Your Head: A psychiatrist explains depression symptoms to be aware of (p. 30)

70 44 Makeover Special: You Deserve It! 56 She’s Bringing More

Girls Into Science and Technology

60 Caregiver Guide

• Socialization:

Have You Had Your Daily Dose? (p. 62)

• Choosing to Live Beautifully Wherever You Are (p. 70) • Small Actions Make a Difference (p. 80)

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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NOV. 2019 | VOL. 29 | NO. 12

November 2019 Today’s Woman Manifesto

THE MANIFESTO Rule 1: Not making a choice to care for yourself IS A CHOICE.

ON HOW Rule 2. DON’T COMPARE & despair.

TO CARE Rule 3. CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF: Do I need to eat?

Do I need water? Do I need to talk to someone?

FOR YOURSELF Rule 4. YOU DESERVE IT. Rule 5. Celebrate what you have.

ON THE COVER: Zenebia Law, supervisor of the Southern Indiana programs for The Center for Women and Families, sets aside moments for self-care. Her solution for staying happy involves weightlifting, going to the theater, and spending time with her family. Read more about how she achieves zen on page 16.

Photo by Erika Doll

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November 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com

PUBLISHER Cathy S. Zion publisher@todaysmedianow.com EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Anita Oldham editor@todaysmedianow.com EXECUTIVE EDITOR Tiffany White tiffany@todaysmedianow.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lucy M. Pritchett EDITORIAL DIRECTOR April Allman april@todaysmedianow.com DESIGN DIRECTOR Jill Cobb jill@todaysmedianow.com PHOTO DIRECTOR/PHOTOGRAPHER Melissa Donald melissa@todaysmedianow.com GRAPHIC DESIGNER Jillian Jones jillian@todaysmedianow.com CAMPAIGN MANAGER Jessica Alyea jessica@todaysmedianow.com OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR Scheri Stewart Mullins scheri@todaysmedianow.com BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Rachel Reeves rachel@todaysmedianow.com SENIOR MEDIA CONSULTANTS Susan Allen susan@todaysmedianow.com Teri Hickerson teri@todaysmedianow.com MEDIA CONSULTANTS Bailey Crush bailey@todaysmedianow.com Jennifer Phillips jennifer@todaysmedianow.com CIRCULATION MANAGER W. Earl Zion INTERN Emily Elliotte Today’s Woman is published monthly by: Zion Publications, LLC 9780 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 1400 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: 502.327.8855 TodaysWomanNow.com TodaysMediaNow.com The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2019

by Zion Publications LLC, all rights reserved.

Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.

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Today’s Woman / November 2019

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HER CURRENT OBSESSION: FINDING HER RHYTHM OF LIFE

By Lucy M. Pritchett Photos by Melissa Donald

What better way to get to know Today’s Woman than through her Current Obsessions? This month we meet a world-traveling freelance choreographer who is on a quest for the perfect sunscreen, is a Spotify aficionado, and makes sure to visit galleries and museums in whatever city she finds herself.

Andrea Schermoly is the resident choreographer with the Louisville Ballet.

She comes to our fair city via her original home in South Africa with stops along the way in London, New York, Kansas City, Grand Rapids, and Los Angeles.

She is a former dancer with Boston Ballet and Nederlands Dans Theater.

Now, as a freelance choreographer, she is commissioned by ballet companies and spends three to five weeks with the company’s dancers. She has also choreographed for a number of feature films, commercials, and music videos.

MY WORK

Andrea Schermoly choreographs in her UGG boots — more as a “necessity” than an obsession.

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Although I love my work, obsessing about it can be unproductive. I think in dance. Ideas come to me in waves and in dreams. I don’t know how to turn it off. I obsess over attaining the perfect moment right from the beginning. But, dance is more of a sentence of movement that I can always edit afterwards. But if I edit every word I will eliminate or stifle the creative flow. I’m trying to create a product but also to have an interaction with the dancers. I’m always thinking about what’s coming up. I will sometimes be inspired by a piece of music or maybe a theme will come first — the moon or a Native American tale.

“I love any kind of hat...”

LISTENING TO MUSIC

ESTHER PEREL

More work obsession. I am constantly listening to music on Spotify to source for dance. I listen to classical music, current composers, and popular music. I often find myself going down the rabbit hole on Spotify. I archive pieces I like.

To start with, I might pick 10 pieces, but because emotions play such a part in the attraction, I’ll come back a day or two later and decide on seven of those, and then maybe pick three or four of them that really stick. Then I’ll listen to everything by that composer or performer. I am especially drawn to the passionate Italian composers like Vivaldi, along with Patti Smith, Mozart, and folk musician and songwriter Michael Kiwanuka.

The subject of psychology interests me. Right now I am listening over and over to podcasts by Esther Perel. She is a psychotherapist and author who focuses on relationships.

She is marvelous in mapping out and unraveling the human condition. I’ve learned a lot about myself and the people around me from listening to her. No matter what the situation she is talking about, I can identify with the struggle. Her earlier podcasts are archived, and I binge listen to them.

SUNSCREEN I spend a lot of time researching sunscreens that contain zinc. I’m allergic to titanium dioxide, an ingredient found in most sunscreens — it causes my face to swell. I am usually testing two to three at a time. Right now I am testing Elta MD and MyChelle.

HATS I love any kind of hat, especially wide-brim safari hats and cowboy hats. I’m always on the lookout for a good Stetson or fedora. I travel a lot, and unfortunately I lose them all the time.

I’ll leave them on the back of the bathroom stall doors or in hotel rooms. I just lost my favorite dark green wool hat. It was one of those men’s jazz hats from the `50s. Right now, in the trunk of my car I probably have 10. I’m not a clothes buyer — you will see me most days in jeans and T shirt — but I love hats.

ART I look at art online, and when I am working in a city I make a point to visit its galleries and museums. I recently attended the David Hockney show at LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art). I have visited the Speed Art Museum here in Louisville and many of the galleries on Market Street. A few of my favorite artists are Mark Rothko, David Hockney, and Nelson Makamo, who is South African.

MY UGGS These are more of a necessity because I choreograph in them. I had to stop performing due to a career-ending injury on my ankle nine years ago, but I demonstrate for the dancers and these boots feel really good. They offer stability and padding. I’ve had this pair of boots for six years. They were a gift, and when I put them on I didn’t realize how nice it would make my feet feel. I might be in rehearsal for a piece six hours or more a day. My feet hurt so much!

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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WORK WARDROBE

Mixing the Tough with the Professional

“I’m usually in work boots all day. Steel toe. The very big work boots. I get them from Walmart. There’s no point in wearing a skirt. I wear jeans or dress pants. I have the luxury to be all over the place.

Other people in the office don’t have that flexibility.

Sometimes, I wear colorful flats, nothing too bright.”

By Marie Bradby Photos by Erika Doll

W

hen Shanae Brooks came along at Waggener High School (2006-2010), there was a wood shop.

“In high school, they still had the trades, and I was able to take drafting and CAD, and I also had carpentry and woodworking in shop,” says Shanae, 28. “I got into design that way.”

Those early experiences led to a career as an architectural engineer. She works for Harmon Construction and is a project manager for one of the large construction undertakings at the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport (CVG).

“I grew up in construction,” Shanae says. “My father has been in carpentry my whole life. Even as a child, we would visit different houses and projects that he worked on, and I was intrigued and would help out when I could. I’m a hands-on person. I like to do woodwork at my house.” She just made a desk for a friend and is working on a coffee table for another friend.

She chose architectural engineering, which is an integrated, multi-disciplinary approach to the planning, design, construction, and operation of buildings. Architectural engineers are responsible for the design of the structural, heating, cooling, electrical, lighting, and fire protection systems for buildings.

For Harmon Construction, she helps oversee the extension to the baggage claim terminal at Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport. It’s one of several large construction ventures going on at the airport. “I will be managing the extension to the custom service building,” Shanae says. “It will make more space for baggage claim and ticketing, and make the airport run more smoothly.”

The Tennessee State University graduate is responsible for checking the job site and the blueprints, managing the budget, coordinating the order of construction, and knowing the building and safety codes.

Though she commutes one and a half hours each way from Louisville to the airport each day, she finds time to help mentor high school students for Leaders of Tomorrow, an afterschool program that promotes financial literacy, leadership, career prep, and college prep. It is a program of the National Black MBA Association.

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November 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com

HER DRESS PHILOSOPHY “Come as you are. I don’t mean sweatpants or flipflops. Your wardrobe is a piece of you. I have a courageous personality, though I’m a little shy. My clothes reflect that. Even when I introduce myself, you get who I am from what I have on and how I am carrying myself, even before I show my knowledge and skills.”

SHOPPING “I’m a Goodwill person. You’d be surprised at the quality of things there. A big item that I get there is sun dresses (for after work). They always have jeans, and the dress slacks are like new. I don’t shop online.

I’d rather see it, take it home, and be done with it.”

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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FOND OF LOUISVILLE:

SIMPLE HOMEMADE DINNER ROLLS Story and photos by Madeleine Dee

M

y partner, Liam, loves to bake bread. If he tells you otherwise, don’t believe him. Recently, he put together this recipe so we could have fresh buns for veggie burgers. The rolls are soft, delicious, and aromatic as can be — simply perfect for Thanksgiving and quite easy to make. Don’t be scared when you see all the print in the directions. I just wanted to be as specific as possible so you’d get perfect results! Feel free to swap the “everything” seasoning for your own blend of flavor magic. This is a recipe you’ll want to hang on to. Enjoy.

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LIAM’S EVERYTHING DINNER ROLLS • 1 cup (8 oz.) lukewarm water • 4 tsp. active dry yeast • 4 tbsp. granulated sugar, divided • 1/4 cup olive oil (vegetable and canola are OK, too) • 4 large egg yolks, room temperature • 3 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for kneading • 2 tsp. table salt • 1 large whole egg, room temperature INSTRUCTIONS: 1. To begin, prepare the “everything” seasoning.

Simply mix all the ingredients in a small bowl.

You will end up with enough for two batches of rolls. Set aside.

2. In a deep mixing bowl, gently combine the yeast, warm water, and 1 tbsp. sugar. Leave this alone and allow it to bloom for 15 minutes. It will look foamy and thick when finished.

3. Whisk the remaining 3 tbsp. sugar, oil, and the egg yolks into the yeast mixture just until smooth, then stir in the flour and salt. Move the spoon around until it starts to pull together into a dough, then turn the dough out onto a lightly floured countertop and knead it until it forms a smooth ball. This takes me exactly 8 minutes every time, and it is amazing holiday stress relief, especially with a glass of wine nearby. The dough will be sticky, so be sure to add a light sprinkle of flour each time the dough starts to stick either to the counter or to your hands.

NOTE: You can knead this dough in a stand mixer.

Use your hook attachment and let it go on low for 6-8 minutes, then turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 1-2 minutes more.

Do you have a delicious holiday recipe to share? Use #TodaysWomanLove on Instagram to share your recipe!

4. Lightly grease a large, clean bowl, then lay the smooth ball of dough inside. Cover with a dry cloth. Set your oven to its lowest temperature (200°F is good) and allow it to begin heating up for 2 minutes, then turn the oven off but leave the door closed. After a few minutes, open the oven door to allow some heat to escape for about 30 seconds. Place your covered bowl inside and let it rest with the door closed for 1 hour, or until the dough is doubled in size.

5. Remove the bowl from the oven and quickly close the door so the heat inside doesn’t escape.

Uncover the dough and either punch it down or use all your fingers to press down deeply, deflating it. Don’t go crazy. Replace the cloth and return the bowl to the oven. Allow to rest with the door closed for 30 minutes.

“EVERYTHING” SEASONING: • 2 tsp. poppy seeds • 1 tsp. coarse sea salt • 1 tsp. black sesame seeds • 1 tbsp. white sesame seeds • 1 tbsp. minced garlic (dehydrated garlic flakes) • 1 tbsp. minced onion (dehydrated onion flakes)

6. When you remove the bowl this time, heat the empty oven to 350°F (or 325°F if your oven tends to bake things too quickly). Before it gets warm, lower the middle baking rack one rung so that it’s not close to the bottom of the oven but isn’t in the very center. This will keep the “everything” seasoning from burning. If you can’t lower the rack a bit from the center, just be sure to keep an eye on the rolls as they bake and cover them for the last few minutes if they start to brown too fast. If you decide to omit the “everything” seasoning, leave the rack in the center of your oven.

7. Turn the dough out onto a clean, dry counter and portion it into 12 obsessively even pieces. It is very important to make sure that they are all the same size so that they bake evenly.

8. Cup your hands around each piece of dough and gently roll it around on the countertop to form a ball. As you work, lay all 12 onto a cookie sheet lined with a silpat or parchment paper.

Be sure to evenly space them out so you have 3 straight rows of 4 rolls. Gently cover the rolls with your dry cloth and allow them to rest in a warm place for 30 minutes.

9. Uncover the rolls. Combine the whole egg with a splash of water and lightly brush this mixture over the entire surface of each ball of dough.

You will not even come close to using all the egg wash. Sprinkle about 2 tablespoons of your everything seasoning evenly over the tops of the rolls. A fair amount will spill onto the sheet pan, and that’s OK. 10. Bake for 20 minutes. Immediately remove from the oven and allow to rest for 5-10 minutes before eating. Best enjoyed warm.

Madeleine Dee (AKA The Seasoned Cynic) is the resident chef of Logan Street Market and the owner of Fond, Fond Originals, and Bold Bird Productions. TheSeasonedCynic.com

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Illustrations by Jillian Jones

Healing THE

ISSUE

It is time to heal. Whether you need mental, emotional, or physical positive changes, Today’s Woman has found some local answers for you. Healing is a practice and a process, and we ask that you take the time you need to step forward.

In Our Healing Section, read about: • Healing your mind and spirit, page 14 • Take a deep breath: How the locals are working to heal the air, page 18 • The weight of grief: Will it ever feel lighter?, page 20 • Find healing in natural products, page 22 • Escaping the minefield in your head: A psychiatrist explains depression symptoms to be aware of, page 30

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Today’s Woman / November 2019

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HEALING YOUR

Mind + Spirit

By Megan S. Willman Photos by Erika Doll

Y

ou’ve likely heard the Robert Burns’ quote about “best-laid plans.” If you haven’t, I will try to convey the spirit behind the words. Perhaps you make lists, keep your calendar up-to-date, and start each day with specific goals in mind. Maybe you pack a lunch, get in a morning workout, and get everything into the car that you need until you return home that night. It’s possible you do none of these things, but you consciously think through the path you’d like your day to take.

These are great habits. Sometimes our days flow according to plan. Smile as you think about those happy days, because the flipside lies at the heart of that quote I mentioned.

Instead, imagine this day. You wake to a houseful of arguing kids, lost shoes, and misplaced backpacks. Finally, you rush them out the door but then hit every red light on the way to work. You’ve got your hands full as you approach the office, and the person in front of you lets the door close in your face.

Juggling your belongings, your coffee spills on your favorite blouse. Moments later, as you sit down to present at a staff meeting, one of your coworkers shares that the proposal you’d worked on all week has been shelved due to budget constraints.

In our family, Burns’ quote is translated as, “You wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans.” However you say it, the message is clear: Life keeps us humble. If we accept that we can’t control everything, and we’re going to have bad days, does that mean we have no control at all?

Can we recover from a bad start? How do we reframe our thinking? I’ve met recently with four amazing women who practice surprisingly simple techniques that help them keep a healthy mindset, no matter what life throws their way. Their individual strategies may differ, but the overall message remains: We have the power to control our thinking and the way we react to life’s challenges. Let’s take a look at some ways we might do that.

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Stephanie Feger has a happiness log.

Stephanie Feger, author of Color Today Pretty: An Inspirational Guide to Living a Life in Perspective, says that the way we perceive and react to the world around us gives us power. Negative self-talk becomes selffulfilling. “What you think becomes what you speak becomes what you seek,” Stephanie says. “This doesn’t mean that bad things don’t happen but that something good can come from something tough. I call it ‘realistic optimism.’ I don’t live in the clouds but like to jump in them sometimes.”

STEPHANIE’S TIPS FOR KEEPING A HEALTHY PERSPECTIVE •C reate an easy-to-remember mantra that can ground you in the challenging moments. “Right now, I use one word: ‘truth.’ I ask myself, ‘What’s true in this situation?’”

•S tart a happiness log. “We track our exercise and the food we eat. Why not keep a list of the moments that make us happy? Keep it in your car or purse, readily available when you’re down and need to read the list and reframe your perspective.”

•S urround yourself with people who truly support you.

These are quality friends who can think productively for you in the moments when you aren’t capable of such clarity.

November 2019 / TodaysWomanNow.com

Kimberly LaFollette, psychologist and expert in holistic mental health, grounds herself in the practice of acceptance.

“Planning is a big part of my life, but when things go awry, it helps me to say, ‘OK, this is happening’ and just lean into it. I try to practice gratitude in those moments.”

KIMBERLY’S TIPS FOR ACCEPTANCE AND RESILIENCE

Kimberly LaFollette meditates daily.

• Train your brain to be happier. “Instead of asking ‘Why did this happen to me?’ consider ‘Why is this happening for me?’ Ask yourself, ‘What am I supposed to learn in this moment?’”

• Don’t wait until something bad happens.

“Practice self-care techniques every day, even when you don’t think you need them.” Make sure it’s a habit and you can draw on it when you need it most.

• Try meditation. Daily practice can help you learn to just observe and not react negatively in the difficult moments. “There is a great free app called Insight Timer. You input how much time you have and the issue you want to focus on in that moment. I do it every day in the first 10 minutes after I get to work. It’s made a real difference.”

Laura Wagner, licensed marriage and family therapist and life coach, has a simple but significant philosophy to help herself and others build a contented life: do one thing. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, but it does require commitment to daily practice. “Many people don’t believe they have even 15 minutes for themselves each day. Not making a choice to care for oneself is, in fact, a choice,” Laura says.

LAURA’S SUGGESTIONS FOR SMALL THINGS THAT CAN MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE

• Love your body. “Women beat themselves up, restrict their eating, and obsess about the scale. I encourage anyone in that place to think of one small thing their body does for them each day — arms to hug, legs that walk, eyes that see a sunrise. We can start in a place of appreciation.”

• Connect face-to-face. “People are more lonely and disconnected than ever. The ‘compare and despair’ nature of social media doesn’t help. Have coffee, join a club, get out of your regular routine.”

Laura Wagner starts her day with a ritual.

Photo by Melissa Donald

• Develop a sacred ritual and do it every day (even if it’s only five minutes long).

“I go to my favorite coffee shop every morning to greet my friends, write in my journal, and center my day.”

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Zenebia Law gives herself compassion.

I was asked to talk to a “happy person” for this article, and Zenebia Law came immediately to mind. When I told her that, she laughed and said, “My disguise must be working!”

Whatever she calls it, Zenebia’s smile and calming demeanor are a true gift. She has her own strategies for success:

ZENEBIA’S GO-TO LIST FOR STAYING ZEN • Move. “I get out in the sun, take a walk around the building, or even just stretch in my office. I pay attention to where tension is in my body.”

• Get quiet. “It can help to shut down everything around me and check in with myself. Do I need to eat, drink water, talk to a trusted friend?”

• Give myself kindness. “My daily routine is a big deal to me, but sometimes it gets derailed. Instead of beating myself up, I aim for compassion and know that I can get back on track again.”

The key to practicing self-care is just that — practice.

Laura shared some great words of wisdom: “What I’ve found is that when I pay attention to the extraordinary moments in my ordinary, everyday life, I feel a steady and stable sense of contentment. I stop waiting for the big splash of joy to land in my lap and work on creating and celebrating what I have.”

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EXTRA TIPS: • Join a group exercise class • Do breathing exercises • Volunteer to help others • Go for a ride • Cook dinner with your partner • Color • Wear clothes you love • Get up 10 minutes early or stay up later to take time for you • Keep fresh flowers in your home and office • Listen to music

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TAKE A

Deep Breath:

HOW LOCALS ARE WORKING TO HEAL THE AIR

By Megan M. Seckman Photos by Melissa Donald

F

or as long as I have been a classroom teacher, I have both practiced and preached the art of deep breathing.

Deep breaths have saved me from losing my temper and saying the clever and crude thoughts that simmer deep inside and beg to break the surface. Deep breathing has kept me gainfully employed and mentally stable in my high-stress, beloved profession. For the past several years, I have incorporated mindfulness and breathwork into my classroom practice with much success. But despite the many benefits of deep breathing we see in our class, I also can’t ignore the number of students who suffer from asthma.

Each year, I have more and more students who are afraid to go outside and just breathe.

Currently, Louisville Metro tracks the air quality of our city and must track the six pollutants identified by the EPA as particularly harmful. Louisville, like all American cities, must meet the National Ambient Air Quality Standards (NAAQS) for lead, particulate matter, carbon monoxide, nitrogen dioxide, ozone, and sulphur dioxide. Thankfully, there are several champions in our city who are helping us clear the air and get back to breathing easy.

Stuart Unger, president of Evolve KY, is helping Louisville’s air by encouraging others to make the switch to electric cars.

Five years ago, Stuart and his friend were having a conversation about the lack of electric charging stations in the city, when he had an epiphany: If people were going to make the switch to electric, they would need better electric infrastructure. At the time, the only charging stations were located at the electric car dealerships. Now, five years later, Stuart’s nonprofit has helped to install free charging stations in 22 locations around the region — outside coffee shops and busy metro areas, and even one inside Bernheim Forest.

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Stuart Unger, president of Evolve KY, is encouraging the use of electric cars as an option for reducing air pollution in our community.

PLUG IN VS GAS IT UP Stuart is passionate about electric cars. “Education is job number one in what we do at Evolve KY. Most people don’t know that the first vehicles ever made were electric and that electric automobiles are superior to petrolbased. They cost less, are quieter, have no emissions, and they are cheaper to maintain. There are no oil changes, timing belt or fan replacements — the only maintenance on an electric car is replacing wiper blades and fluid and keeping your tires aligned. The motor is like your grandma’s fan — it will keep running forever,” Stuart says.

Aside from raising awareness through events like National Drive Electric Week and providing local businesses with free charging stations, Evolve KY has also crowd sourced the making of an hour-long documentary about electric vehicles.

“DRIVING ELECTRIC HAS SO MANY BENEFITS TO OUR HEALTH, TO THE ENVIRONMENT, AND TO OUR WALLETS. IT’S A VERY EFFICIENT WAY TO TRAVEL — AND THERE IS NOTHING COMING OUT OF THE TAILPIPE.”

MORE TREES Cindi Sullivan, the executive director of Trees Louisville, is also doing her part to improve our air quality. In response to Metro Louisville’s tree assessment, which concluded Louisville was losing 54,000 trees per year — the equivalent of 820 acres or the size of two Cherokee Parks — Cindi helped launch this non-profit dedicated to increasing our city’s deficient tree canopy.

“WE ARE A LEAN, MEAN, TREE-PLANTING MACHINE,” CINDI SAYS. “SINCE MARCH OF 2015, WE HAVE HELPED TO PLANT AND DISTRIBUTE 10,000 TREES.” Cindi explains that trees are vital for our air quality as they intercept small particulate matter that, once inhaled, leads to pulmonary and cardiovascular diseases.

Trees also help to sequester carbon dioxide that contributes to warming our planet, creating a cooler city.

Trees Louisville has partnered with JCPS to plant trees on school campuses, free of charge, throughout the city.

Trees Louisville also provides science classrooms with online tools and software that help students measure and identify trees, as well as calculate the monetary value of air quality, carbon sequestering, and storm drainage.

Another partnership with the Kentucky Department of Transportation has resulted in planting trees in large plots of land that were covered in grass and required mowing. Cindi explains that planting trees instead of fescue helps to sequester more of the particulate matter, exacerbated by mowing. “The trees become biofilters for pollution — they are basic green screens,” she says.

Lastly, Trees Louisville’s partnership with Louisville Metro has resulted in promoting residential tree planting by providing a 40 percent refund (up to $80) for residents who purchase and plant certain tree species through the Tree Canopy Program. This fall, the program will be giving away free trees at two local events.

Cindy Sullivan is the executive director at Trees Louisville. The organization’s tree giveaway will be on November 9 at the Americana Community Center from 10am-2pm.

Lauren Heberle is helping to improve Louisville’s air quality.

TRACK CARCINOGENS Lauren Heberle, director of the University of Louisville Center for Environmental Policy and Management (CEPM), is the lead investigator of the community engagement component of the UofL Superfund Research Center, an organization focused on the health impacts of Volatile Organic Compounds.

VOCs are present in the air we breathe and cause diseases that range from asthma to cancer. Lauren’s center has helped bring two monitoring devices to Louisville that track this harmful carcinogen.

One device is called the Smell My City App. Developed by researchers at Carnegie Mellon University, this app allows people the ability to record how the air smells and any physical/medical problems they might be having as a result. Community organizations and air quality advocates can see reports on a map in real time.

The creators view this as another method in air quality advocates’ toolkit for demanding better regulations and repercussions for those responsible for creating the emissions. REACT and West Jefferson County Task Force are supporting it and are hoping to get substantive community use.

The second device, Bike Sense, is public art grant recipient Todd Smith’s work that installs air monitors on volunteers’ bikes. The mobile monitors show, in real time, what our air quality is from the perspective of cyclists. The UofL Superfund Center collaborated with the director of Bike Sense to request riders to stop at three locations along the Louisville Loop that are near Lees Lane Landfill and Rubbertown and use the SmellMyCity app at those locations. The idea is to figure out a way to link the two measures of air pollutants and smells in time and space. Both of these measures inform researchers on trends in air quality so that they can address our city's pollutants.

Weight of Grief:

THE

WILL I EVER FEEL LIGHTER?

By Connie Meyer

W

hen my mother died, I kept the grief at bay by caring for my ailing father.

I thought I would be ready, but his death six months later felt like a tidal wave threatening to sweep me under. I will never forget how heavy I felt. I was surrounded by a loving family and supportive friends, but I could not escape the grief. You have to go through it in your own way and in your own time.

At my husband’s urging, I started therapy when my mother was first diagnosed with cancer. For me, it was a huge help in coping with all the little losses that preceded the final one. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but it was life saving for me.

I found writing to be an outlet that helped me deal with the complex emotions accompanying the grieving process. While sitting through doctor’s appointments and hospital visits, I filled notebooks where I poured out my sorrow with a non-judgmental pen.

As I wrote, I included the laughter that came with the sorrow. My mother and I always shared a sometimes dark sense of humor. It provided much needed light in the harshest situations. I will never forget the nurse giving me a booklet entitled Dealing with the Death of a Loved One. I thought mother was asleep, when she suddenly quipped, “Reckon that’s one title that won’t make the best seller list.”

My dad was quite the character, and when I read over the journals now, I can smile at the memories that were once so painful.

No matter how difficult your loss may seem, time passes and life resumes.

I do not believe in closure, but prefer the word “enclosure.” It is defined as “the act of enclosing something inside.”

I know from experience that the grief that felt so heavy at its onset eventually lightened and enclosed my heart with memories of joy and comfort.

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“I HAD TIME TO MENTALLY PREPARE, YET I STILL FELT SHOCKED AT THE LOSS. GRIEF IS UNPREDICTABLE: IT CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND KNOCKS YOU BACK WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.”

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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Find Healing

IN NATURAL PRODUCTS

By Bobbe Ann Crouch Photos by Melissa Donald

T

he sun is shining. The air is clear. You take a deep breath, allowing your lungs to fill with the crispness of the fresh, cool air. You sigh and think to yourself, “Wouldn’t it be great if I could feel this good all the time?”

Of course we all know that life is cyclical. The inevitable ache, pain, sniffle, sneeze, or stomach bug is bound to appear at some point. The good news is that the universe is brimming with all kinds of useful, healthy, preventative supplements and over-the-counter remedies.

There are so many, in fact, that the task of knowing which ones to choose can be a daunting one.

Here is a brief list of natural, healthful helpers that may be of use on the ever continuing quest to feel better, stay better, and become healthier. Read more details of each product on the following pages.

SUPER HERB: TURMERIC/CURCUMIN Cost: $16 per 120 capsules, 1950mg Home cooks can easily add turmeric to recipes such as salad dressings, soups, roasted vegetables, and proteins.

Important: It is always advisable to consult with your doctor prior to taking anything new. Even supplements that are completely natural can interact with prescription drugs.

Most of these items can be found at Rainbow Blossom.

ELDERBERRY SYRUP Cost: Various, $10 per 4 oz.

Some take it preventatively yearround; others take it only as medicine when they are sick.

CLEANSERS: ORGANIC LEMONS AND LIMES Cost: $1 each Squeeze the juice of one lemon or one lime into 8 oz. of warm water.

Drink this every morning prior to anything else to aid in digestion and to help filter toxins.

A WONDER: ORGANIC COCONUT OIL Cost: $7 per 14 oz.

GOOD BACTERIA: PROBIOTICS Cost: Various, $36 and up for supplements Probiotic supplements should be taken once daily.

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1 teaspoon to start, increasing to 2 Tbsp daily over a one- to two-week period. (MCT oil may be mixed into morning coffee or tea.)

PURE ALOE VERA JUICE Cost: Various. Fruit of the Earth Aloe Vera Juice, $6 per 128 fl oz.

Begin with 1-2 oz. per day slowly increasing to 6-8 oz. over time.

IMMUNE INJECTION: HIMALAYAN SALT/HALOTHERAPY Cost: Various (starts at $25 per 30 minute session) Himalayan salt lamps are said to provide health benefits because they are “natural ionizers,” meaning they change the electrical charge of the circulating air.

SEDATIVE: VALERIAN TEA (ORGANIC) Cost: $5 per 16 tea bags Valerian tea is found in the tea aisle of most local grocery stores.

Drink one cup one hour before bedtime.

SUPERFOOD: IRISH SEA MOSS/ BLADDERWRACK Cost: $40 per 200 capsules, 300mg It is recommended to start slowly with one capsule in the morning.

BRAIN BOOST: L TYROSINE Cost: $20 per 300 capsules, 500mg (Also referred to as: “tyrosine”) SEEDS OF MANY BENEFITS: BLACK SEED OIL (ALSO KNOWN AS BLACK CUMIN, CARAWAY, ONION, AND KALONJI SEEDS) Cost: $13 per 120 capsules, 1000mg

Take tyrosine supplements at least 30 minutes before meals, divided into three daily doses.

Taking vitamins B6, B9, and copper along with tyrosine can help the body convert tyrosine into important brain chemicals.

Cold pressed, organic black seed oil can be ingested in the form of capsules or applied topically to benefit the skin. Take capsules with food.

HYDRATE: INTRAVENOUS FLUIDS Cost: Starts at $99 per treatment, Mojo Hydration, (serves Louisville and Lexington) Each treatment involves a sterile saline drip spiked with custom vitamins and nutrients.

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l It’s recommended to find a product with BioPerine (the trademarked name for piperine), which is a substance that enhances curcumin absorption by 2,000 percent.

“I STARTED MAKING IT WHEN MY CHILD WAS ALWAYS TURNING UP SICK WITH EAR INFECTIONS.”

SUPER HERB: TURMERIC/ CURCUMIN Cost: $16 per 120 capsules, 1950mg For thousands of years, Turmeric has been used in India as a spice and a medicinal herb. (It is the spice that gives curry its yellow color.) Curcumin is the main active ingredient in turmeric.

Many studies show that curcumin can also help treat symptoms of arthritis and is, in some cases, more effective than anti-inflammatory drugs. Additionally, it has shown some promise in treating depression.

– Jenny Watson

ELDERBERRY SYRUP Cost: Various, $10 per 4 oz.

Elderberry is one of the most widely used medicinal plants in the world. Not only are they nutritious, the health benefits of the elder plant include naturally improving sinus issues, inflammation, chronic fatigue, allergies, nerve pain, constipation, and even cancer. Used seasonally to boost the immune system, many report the prevention of cold, flu, and other pesky viruses that seem to crop up in the fall and winter. When used within the first 48 hours of onset of symptoms, the extract may even help relieve and shorten the duration of cold and flu symptoms as well.

SEEDS OF MANY BENEFITS: BLACK SEED OIL (ALSO KNOWN AS BLACK CUMIN, CARAWAY, ONION, AND KALONJI SEEDS) Cost: $13 per 120 capsules, 1000mg Black seed is used in both whole seed and seed oil form as a healthy dietary supplement. Black seed contains fatty acids, vitamins, and minerals in a unique cell structure. Studies suggest that this oil may offer many health and cosmetic benefits, such as aiding weight loss, improving skin conditions (such as acne, eczema, and psoriasis), and even treating cancer and diabetes.

Black seed oil is available in capsule and in high grade oil form.

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Jenny Watson, owner/creator of The Elderberry Co. in New Albany, Indiana, says, “The Elderberry boosts our immune systems by activating and enhancing the antioxidant and antiviral properties in the body. I started making it when my child was always turning up sick with ear infections. I quickly realized that most over-thecounter versions contain sugar. Sugar is counter productive to the immune system, so I started making mine with local honey, which also helps to combat the horrible allergies we get here in the Ohio Valley. And it worked. The infections stopped. Over time I perfected my syrup in order to keep it raw, never boiled, because the body recognizes a raw berry and not boiling it keeps the vitamins in a more natural state.”

BRAIN BOOST: L TYROSINE Cost: $20 per 300 capsules, 500mg (Also referred to as: “tyrosine”) L-Tyrosine is an amino acid that is naturally produced in the body from another amino acid called phenylalanine.

Getting plenty of tyrosine, either through diet or from a supplement, can make a major difference in your brain function. That’s because tyrosine is a precursor to some of the most important neurotransmitters in your brain. Your brain turns tyrosine into three major neurotransmitters: dopamine, for mood and motivation; norepinephrine, for muscle recovery and blood flow; and adrenaline, for focus and drive.

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SEDATIVE: VALERIAN TEA (ORGANIC) Cost: $5 per 16 tea bags Some reports say valerian root is the number one nonprescription sedative in Europe. Valerian is most commonly used for sleep disorders, especially insomnia.

Valerian tea is an herbal beverage made from the roots and underground stems of the valerian plant. In addition to improved sleep, valerian can be used to decrease stress, relieve menstrual symptoms, and even reduce menopausal symptoms.

“I work from home and am on the computer almost constantly,” Tami Shaw says. “I used to have a hard time divorcing myself from ‘work Tami’ to ‘home Tami.’ It was really hard to relax.

One of my best friends is really into Eastern medicine, so she sent me the [valerian] tea to try. When I finally did try it, I felt an immediate difference. First, it’s hot so it takes some time to drink, which automatically caused me to slow down. The taste is pretty mild, almost earthy. Usually about 15 minutes after I’ve finished, I start to feel sleepy. It’s not a medicated feeling either; just a general relaxed sort of drowsy.”

“I START TO FEEL SLEEPY... JUST A GENERAL RELAXED SORT OF DROWSY.” – Tami Shaw

HYDRATE: INTRAVENOUS FLUIDS Cost: Starts at $99 per treatment, Mojo Hydration, (serves Louisville and Lexington) Chronic dehydration is the number one culprit of many aches and pains and conditions such as exhaustion, restlessness, migraines, fatigue, wrinkles, and dry skin.

Now, the fluids can be summoned via a call to Mojo Hydration 502.208.8987. Their treatments are administered by medical professionals in the comfort of your home or office.

SUPERFOOD: IRISH SEA MOSS/ BLADDERWRACK Cost: $40 per 200 capsules, 300mg The healthful properties of Irish sea moss include Vitamins A, E, F and K, calcium, potassium, and sulfur. It’s loaded with rich fiber that makes it a mild and useful laxative. It can also soothe the tissues that are inflamed in the intestinal walls to offer relief for all kinds of disorders. Additionally, it is highly effective for allergy relief; is especially useful for runny nose, drainage, and coughing.

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CLEANSERS: ORGANIC LEMONS AND LIMES Cost: $1 each The roots of lemon and lime trees go deep into the earth, extracting trace minerals that get passed to us when the fruit is consumed. These two citrus fruits contain highly absorbable vitamin C, which is an important antioxidant that helps protect cells from damage and also aids in helping the body absorb iron from foods. They are also amazing cleansers of the liver, kidneys, thyroid, and gallbladder.

Rebecca Ann Seiter started drinking lemon water five years ago. “I first started because I heard it is supposed to balance your PH levels throughout the day,” she says. “When I did this, my cravings for carbs and fattening foods really went down, and I found myself choosing better foods for myself — more fresh fruits and vegetables.

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“...THE IONS IN THEM HELP SETTLE THE DUST...”

PURE ALOE VERA JUICE Cost: Various. Fruit of the Earth Aloe Vera Juice, $6 per 128 fl oz.

Pure aloe vera juice is made by crushing, grinding, or pressing the entire leaf of an aloe vera plant. This produces a liquid, which is then filtered.

The juice is excellent for digestion; helping to maintain the healthy bacteria in your gut to keep your gut flora balanced. “It works in a similar fashion to probiotics, but it’s considerably less expensive,” says Kathy Thompson. “It’s also excellent for arterial health.” It can also be helpful for people who struggle with constipation, since it’s high in fiber and boosts the water content in your intestines.

– Virginia Lyons

IMMUNE INJECTION: HIMALAYAN SALT/HALOTHERAPY Cost: Various (starts at $25 per 30 minute session) Studies show halotherapy eases symptoms and supports relief for those suffering from respiratory issues, asthma, allergies, sinusitis, congestion, ear infections, skin disorders, eczema, psoriasis, acne, cystic fibrosis, depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders. During a typical session, you are covered by a blanket as you recline in a zero gravity chair. Soothing music plays as you breathe in the medicinal grade salt.

“At my house, I have always had a lot of Himalayan salt lamps because the ions in them help settle the dust, and the salt helps with my inflammation. I keep one beside my bed and others around the areas where I sit,” says Virginia Lyons. “Because of my cystic fibrosis, my body produces a buildup of thick and sticky mucus that can clog my lungs, so anti-inflammatories are important to me. Inhaling the salt via halotherapy at the Louisville Salt Cave helps me breathe. It also helps my sinuses clear up.

GOOD BACTERIA: PROBIOTICS Cost: Various, $36 and up for supplements

A WONDER: ORGANIC COCONUT OIL Cost: $7 per 14 oz.

Coconut oil contains medium triglycerides (MCTs). These are fatty acids that are quickly absorbed and can offer a number of benefits. MCT can increase the number of calories you burn, which may actually boost your metabolic rate. The compounds in coconut contain powerful antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties that can create a hostile environment for viruses. Antifungal and antimicrobial properties can aid in the prevention and treatment of urinary tract infections.

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Probiotics are beneficial bacteria that promote a healthy gut. They work by balancing the levels of microorganisms in the intestines, driving down the numbers of harmful bacteria. Scientists have found that many intestinal disorders coincide with depression, mood swings, and anxiety.

“Probiotics have come a long way. A lot are now shelf stable, don’t require refrigeration, and are time released,” says Kathy Thompson, manager of the Rainbow Blossom Wellness Center at Springhurst. “What’s important is to select a formula that’s able to withstand stomach acid.

This should be noted on the package. As a general rule, a probiotic should provide at least 1 billion CFUs (“colonyforming units,” which are the number of live active microorganisms per serving). Your doctor may sometimes recommend a particular amount of CFUs or you may choose a probiotic based on your symptoms.

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in Your Head:

ESCAPING THE MINEFIELD

A PSYCHIATRIST EXPLAINS DEPRESSION SYMPTOMS TO BE AWARE OF

By Taylor Riley

W

hat makes you happy is subjective, but making sure your mental health is in check is something that everyone needs to focus on, says Louisville psychiatrist Dr. Ora Frankel.

Mental health is not only the way we feel, but it includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being, she says.

Sometimes unhappiness, and even more dramatic symptoms like depression and suicidal thoughts, can be hard to diagnose. But, Dr. Frankel says, there is help if you or someone you know is struggling with depression or other mental health issues.

There are different ways a psychologist or a psychiatrist looks at diagnosis, she says.

Symptoms that last longer than six days can be considered an issue, but six weeks or more can be considered major depression. “All symptoms can be fuzzy,” she says, but when they’re combined, it can be “really bad.”

SYMPTOMS INCLUDE: • Fluctuations in mood or lifestyle • Sleep changes (excessive sleep, falling asleep and waking up frequently, or insomnia) • Decrease of interests • Excessive guilt • Drop in energy • Decrease in concentration (memory loss) • Appetite changes (loss or increase) • Increase in agitation/more lethargic • Suicidal ideation (thoughts, passive comments, or plan/intent)

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Those who have had a family history of depression or substance abuse and those who have experienced recent losses can be more susceptible to these symptoms.

If it’s a friend having these issues, Dr. Frankel says to first start asking questions. “We don’t expect friends to play psychologist,” she says. “If they are acting differently, start asking questions and consider talking to them … (Say) ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’”

Dr. Frankel says sometimes it’s better for a friend or roommate who has concerns to contact the person’s family member to step in. “I think symptoms in the psych world can be very confusing to people,” she says. “It’s advisable to seek psychiatric help if there are signs and symptoms of a medical condition.”

Dr. Frankel suggests those suffering from depression or other mental health issues should consider a combination of medicine, treatment, and therapy.

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Katie and Jake stand on Roy’s Peak Pike in New Zealand.

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The couple rented this camper to stay in for their trip.

TRAVEL THAT GIVES YOU SUPERPOWERS

By Megan M. Seckman Photos submitted by Katie McBroom

K

atie McBroom’s experience in New Zealand can be summarized through a single story. Ten days into her epic outdoor adventure with her husband Jake, they decided to embark on a hike through the Tongariro Alpine Crossing — an all-day trek through a notoriously treacherous volcanic mountain pass.

In November 2018, the weather was unseasonably cold. For a week and a half Katie and Jake had been huddled together in their rented camper van trying to stay warm. Katie had been wearing the same utilitarian thermals every day — the cute outfits she planned to wear lay crumpled up in the suitcase, never to be touched. By the time they arrived at the drop-off point, Katie was tired and cold and discouraged. The trail head parking lot was plastered with posters that warned hikers to turn back — that unprepared trekkers die on this pass every year due to the rapidly changing severe weather and the lack of cover along the pass.

“My husband was the champion of pushing me. It was cold and I didn’t want to go, so I asked the shuttle driver whether or not we should do it. He said — deadpan — ‘You can go if you want. Someone died last week. If your car is still in the parking lot in the morning, we will send a search crew out for you,” Katie recalls.

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It was hot and sunny at the bottom of Roy’s Peak Pike and covered in snow at the top.

Yet, despite the harsh warning, Katie and Jake forged ahead.

That day it was 24 degrees with 30 mph winds and a 90 percent chance of rain. The weather deterred most hikers from the trail, so Katie and Jake were the only humans they saw that day. “It felt so surreal, like we were discovering this land for the first time.”

Katie said the terrain, a rocky wasteland peppered with geothermal pools and covered in low-hanging clouds, was the setting for the Mr. Doom scene in Lord of the Rings. This dangerous, remote wasteland became her favorite part of the trip. “This trip was about learning how to deal when things go awry. Nothing on this trip went as planned. A few days before this, I hiked Roy’s Peak Pike in a sports bra — people kept coming down the trail in full snow gear. I didn’t know what we were getting into — it was hot and sunny at the bottom, and when we got to the top it was covered in snow. Apparently there is a hole in the ozone above Roy’s Peak, so the next day my face was bright red and swelled up so much I looked like Tim Allen in a fat suit!”

In addition to sunburn and deadly glacier hikes, Katie also endured two weeks of frigid sleeping in camper vans and the

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challenge of “freedom camping,” the controversial idea that land is free for people to use and that anyone can pull over anywhere to camp. Most nights, the couple slept in remote areas or on the side of the road, and would pull into a proper campground every three days for a shower. “It was a bonding experience for us as a couple. It didn’t always feel like a vacation and was never glamorous, but I walked away from this trip feeling like I proved myself. It was a real accomplishment to make it to the top of several peaks, to make dinner in the back of a van with a sterno, and to swap sweaty socks in order to finish the last leg of a hike.”

Katie may have not experienced the luxury of New Zealand that she was expecting, but she walked away from this epic adventure with some newfound confidence and resiliency — her travel-inspired superpowers.

Katie, 27, began traveling internationally just two years ago.

Since then, she has taken two trips abroad each year. She says traveling abroad is like getting a tattoo: once you have one, you will probably become addicted. International travel is her way of acquiring context of the world and inspires her to see her own life more clearly.

This senior art director and freelance photographer believes that the first step in taking the leap to travel abroad is in buying the flight ticket. “Once you buy the ticket, you can figure out the rest. You just have to jump in and do it — buying the ticket removes the barrier.” Here are her travel tips for New Zealand (or elsewhere) on a budget: • Stay away from the big cities: Katie likes to explore smaller towns and outdoor adventures, as she says that is where you learn most about a country’s culture and how you save money. She and Jake flew in and out of Christchurch and Ackland but immediately hit the open road for smaller towns.

• Use Roadtrippers to map out your international road trips: the app calculates distance and time between stops, allowing you to generate a comprehensive itinerary.

• Use Scott’s Cheap Flights or TravelPirates for budget airfare. Katie recommends you clear the browsing history in your cookies and open an incognito tab when searching for budget airfare. Your search history will be used to create an algorithm that prevents you from finding cheaper fare. For instance, if you find a trip to Scotland for $1,000, this price point will be stored by your computer and new searches will continue to find flights around that price. Katie was able to find flights from Los Angeles to Ackland for $650 round-trip.

• Use credit card points for connecting flights (from Louisville to international hubs like Atlanta, Philadelphia, and New York).

Katie and Jake stand at the trailhead of the Tongariro Alpine Crossing.

• Look into renting a camper van — it counts as your hotel and car rental. Katie’s camper vans cost $2,000 for her two-week trip.

• Use airbnb and bookings.com to reserve your accommodations. Katie, who frequently rents out the lower level of her home on airbnb, claims that rentals abroad are more affordable than domestic rentals by owner.

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JUST ASK JOYCE:

STAY-ATHOME MOM ASKS ‘SHOULD I GET A JOB?’ Q: “I have been a stay-at-

home mom for a number of years. I have a college degree that has been doing me little to no good since I had an unplanned pregnancy our first year of marriage. Five children later, I’m rusty in business administration, to say the least. Our oldest is in high school; our youngest is a toddler. Part of me wants to stay home with the baby, but a bigger part of me is ready to return to the workforce.

My husband travels a lot and, quite frankly, I get lonely for adult companionship.

What would you do?”

JOYCE’S FIX: MOTHERHOOD IS THE ONLY JOB THAT MAKES YOU RICH WITHOUT PAYING YOU A DIME. I applaud your years of sacrifice. I will assure you, the cost will be nominal to the returns you receive in years to come. I get the impression this will be your last child. You have a college degree, albeit somewhat dated. Why not enjoy the next few years you have with your baby at home while you brush up on some online college courses to freshen up your degree? By the time your baby is in school much of the day, you will likely have discovered where your fit will be in the workforce. Perhaps you’ll explore your options of a business from home.

With advanced technology, many people are finding flexible means and hours to work.

Regarding your loneliness, there are avenues you could embrace as well. Join a book club. If a daytime club, get a reliable sitter and give yourself a break and fellowship. Allow your high-schooler to watch the kids at night and have a standing night with friends. Invite people into your home for coffee or lunch.

There are many stay-at-homers who experience the same sort of symptoms of isolation. Get plugged into a volunteer program that you find rewarding. If your kids have grandparents nearby and they’re willing to watch your toddler, get involved in tennis or a sport you love.

Perhaps it’s time to have a discussion with your husband about changing jobs and getting one that keeps him home on a more permanent routine. Getting into the workplace is not going to change that aspect of your dilemma, and it has been known to further complicate things. I’m not suggesting it would in your case. I’m merely sharing the idea for consideration.

Now, to address the question you asked specifically — what would I do if I were in your position? The realization of the fleeting element of time hit me square in the face once my oldest graduated high school. Had I been able to control the hands of time, I might have put my successful career as a court reporter on hold for a few more years. I did work in the home until after they began school.

Once I established my business, I even had the luxury of seldom missing events in which they were involved. However, I also missed more moments than I care to recall simply because duty called and the business owned me at those times. If you were financially strapped and work was necessary, my advice would be different. But if I had the option of staying at home or entering the workforce, I’d give every possible moment to your youngest child. Each of our children deserves our best we can give as a parent.

Struggling with a relationship issue? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family Life FIX-IT Pro at justaskjoyce@gmail.com and find a solution for life.

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You Can Protect Yourself

By A. Holland Houston

SOLUTION: Situation: My partner is verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive, but doesn’t hit me. What can I do to protect myself?

ANSWER: Technology has ushered in novel ways of threatening, scaring, and abusing others.

Stalking, for example, may be defined as old school “tailing” someone, or as modern as tracking by GPS devices or iPhone “find my phone” commands or hacking into a computer. Ironically, the ubiquitous smart phones also allow victims to record and photograph. Technology in domestic violence cases can be used as both shield and sword.

Intimate relationship violence is a scourge that crosses all socioeconomic boundaries.

Often victims don’t believe what happens to them meets the definition of domestic violence, either because they simply don’t know what it encompasses or they are in denial.

Fortunately, Kentucky domestic violence law is one of the strongest in the country.

Here, stalking, sexual assault, physical violence, or the threat of it, can rise to the level of a domestic violence finding by a civil court.

The control of finances and car keys and rigid rules around money or asking permission to leave the house, use the family car, and for a grocery allowance are generally not enough on their own to justify a domestic violence finding. But if a spouse or former spouse or child’s other parent threatens to punish the petitioner by an act of violence, a court could determine an act of violence or a threat of violence occurred.

If your sanity, safety, or property are threatened, it may hurt less to petition for protection than continue to endure being debased and ridiculed and scared every day. Or the risk may be too great. The framework is there once a decision is made.

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To petition for a civil domestic violence order, a petitioner must meet the statutory definition of a spouse, a former spouse, have a child in common with the respondent, have lived with the respondent, or be of sufficient blood relationship.

People who meet the statutory criteria can file petitions for emergency protection at the domestic violence intake center 24 hours a day, located on the first floor of the Hall of Justice, 600 West Jefferson Street.

The toll free crisis line for the Center for Women and Families is 844.237.2331 and is available 24 hours a day. Or go to centeronline.org.

A. Holland Houston is a local family court lawyer and a mediator with more than 20 years of experience.

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Building Memories

By Tonilyn Hornung

C

olored lights and hot chocolate are all signs that the holidays are near. In my family, it wasn’t truly the season to be jolly until we decked the halls with our Christmas tree. Choosing the right tree felt as momentous as meeting a new best friend. Now that I’m an adult with my own family, I long to create similar traditions that will make our holidays just as memorable.

The woodsy scent of pine transports me back to when my only goal was to own the Millennium Falcon, and picking out our Christmas tree together was just as magical as the Star Wars ship I hoped would be placed under it. The smell of pine is forever intertwined with my family memories, and I’d love for my son to experience this same thread of magical consistency throughout his life.

At first, I wasn’t sure how to go about crafting family traditions. I wondered how other families built their own.

Local mom Emma Johnson, mother of three, followed her parents’ example and passed on some of her own childhood customs. “When I was little, we started the Christmas season with our Advent calendars, and now they’re delivered by my mom each and every year. We all love them!”

Like Emma, it felt like a solid start to include my husband and son in picking out a tree with all of us original tree-picking members. It was a wonderful way to share my childhood with my child. Still, I wanted to add events that my husband, young son, and I could claim as our own.

Abby Malone, mother to 7-year-old twins, has blended the old with the new when it comes to family traditions. Abby

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shares that some of their new favorites include going to the Lights Under Louisville. “We’ve done that every year since the twins were babies.” She’s also added her own inspired idea: “I make the kids and myself matching pajamas. We’re not allowed to wear them until Christmas Eve, and then we sleep in them and wake up in our matching PJs.” As much as I want to create a holiday with meaning (and possibly matching PJs), once the season truly swings into high gear, I wonder if traditions are worth maintaining. The rush of our holiday schedule takes on its own momentum, and trying to find time for life’s nuances is as hard as locating the clear tape for wrapping presents. Then I catch a whiff of pine and wonder why I ever considered ditching our family traditions in the first place.

I’m always on the lookout for new ways to imbue the holidays with meaning, and trying out new activities is the best way to find out what feels right. Emma says, “I think we will continue to add traditions as the kids grow. We’ll find our way to make the day uniquely our own while honoring the traditions my parents created to make us feel special.”

There are many different ways that holiday rituals evolve and take shape. Last year, my family started leaving extra coins for mall-goers to grab a free sweet treat from the candy dispenser. Perhaps this is one of those things that will stick. I know memories like these will connect my kid back to us later in his life, and that’s why these little evolving traditions are the true magic of the season. It’s simple moments like these that make memories last a lifetime.

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l National statistics show that Indiana has the country’s second-highest incidence of child abuse and neglect, according to Home of the Innocents representatives. This will help them build services at the New Albany office to improve lives of women and children.

The non-profit also has offices in Louisville and Elizabethtown.

Women Unite to Gift $106,000 Services for Southern Indiana at-risk children and their families got a mega-boost when Home of the Innocents won Impact 100 Southern Indiana’s $106,000 grant in September. During an annual celebration, the Impact 100 members (each woman or group had donated $1,000) voted on the recipient following presentations from three finalists.

Impact 100 Southern Indiana, a fund of the Community Foundation of Southern Indiana, is growing, Impact 100 Board President Lori Lewis said, as more and more women realize the power in coming together to achieve greater results. Lori hopes the amount will grow to $150,000 or more next year as women continue to unite to create transformational change in Clark, Floyd, and Harrison counties.

WE ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE YOU KNOW WHO...

Is pushing barriers/changing the world.

Has a pet that should be featured.

Nominate her at TodaysWomanNow.com/Nominate

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Is making art we should know about.

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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YO U DESERVE IT!

By Tiffany White Photos by Melissa Donald

Wonder Women

For our holiday makeover contest, we selected four winners whose dedication to their friends, family, and community put them in a class of their own. Read on to find out how they are bringing joy into the lives of others.

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THE

Encourager TINA BERRY, 48, doesn’t mind sharing her time with others — all while being the family matriarch of a household that includes her husband, four grandchildren, and her 27-year-old daughter Brittany.

Since three of her grandchildren play on baseball and football teams, Tina attends their games regularly.

“My grandchildren are the reason I wake up every morning. They brighten my day even when I am having a bad day,” she says. Tina exudes the same caring spirit in her job as business manager at Winterwood, Inc., a property management company. “When people come in to discuss their difficulties with finances and paying the rent for their homes, she never looks down on them. She always works hard to help the tenants and gives them information on places that may be able to assist. She has been a shoulder to cry on when they need it most,” says Jessica Rhodes, a friend who nominated her for the makeover.

“I STAY IN CONTACT WITH PEOPLE, AND IF THEY NEED ANYTHING OR NEED ME, I AM A CALL AWAY. I TRY TO DO WHAT I CAN FOR EVERYBODY. NOT JUST FAMILY.”

Caring

BEFORE THE HAIR AND MAKEUP: A change in hair color can make a huge difference. Instead of sticking with Tina’s traditional blonde highlights, Paige Holloway, foundational stylist at J Michael’s Salon & Spa worked in variations of blonde to give her hair dimension, depth, and a softer fauxbalayage look. She gave Tina’s hair more volume and length by putting a Hotheads Band Extension weft in her hair. For her makeup, Paige gave Tina a taupe and bronze shimmer smokey eye to enhance her blue eyes. She filled in Tina’s lips with the Jane Iredale lip pencil in the shade Spice followed by a touch of the Triple Luxe Lipstick in the shade Gabby.

TINA IS WEARING: Poncho, $1,145; turtleneck, $820; pants, $398. All available at Rodes for Her, Rodes.com.

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Loyal

Relentless

tic

Optimis

Strong

ionate Compass

THE

Hot Stove Hottie Preparing a hearty meal for family and friends is a cinch for BHAVANA BARDE, who opened her own catering company called Super Food Veda in 2011. A native of India, Bhavana, 46, began cooking for herself and her younger brother at age 8 because their mom was taking care of their ill grandmother. “Cooking is a big part of the Indian culture, especially for women,” she says. Now, Bhavana is sharing her love of food with a mass of people at festivals, weddings, birthday parties, and holiday gatherings. Last month, she catered an event that served 700 people. “It’s hard to find time to even think about indulging yourself, let alone doing it, while building a business, refining and testing recipes and raising kids,” says friend and nominator Holly Houston. Bhavana looks forward to cooking for friends and family for the holidays and will be making ghee roast tendoori turkey flavored with cumin, coriander, green cardamom, black cardamom, cinnamon, and anise.

“FOR SEVEN YEARS, 10 OF MY DAUGHTER’S FRIENDS WOULD PUT UP OUR CHRISTMAS TREE, AND IN EXCHANGE, I WOULD COOK TIKKA MASALA FOR THEM. IT IS CHICKEN COOKED IN TOMATOES, ONIONS, GARLIC, AND CASHEWS.”

Bold

BEFORE THE HAIR AND MAKEUP: Abbie Owens, master colorist at Joseph’s Salon & Spa, formulated Bhavana’s color and highlight placement. Next, Alexis Cain, stylist and makeup artist, added a partial highlight to give her hair dimension. She gave Bhavana long layers for body and texture and used a wide barrel wand to create big waves. For her makeup, Alexis gave her a classy elegant look accentuated with a bold red lip.

Adventurous

Energetic

Clever

Inventive

Focused

BHAVANA IS WEARING: Dress, $375 from Rodes for Her, Rodes.com.

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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THE

Switch Her Luck ALVIA THOMAS, 32, has learned how to stay optimistic when misfortune strikes. In June 2019, Alvia’s car was totaled in an accident and the following day her mom died. “Alvia is such a kind, sweet soul. She’d do anything for anyone. She deserves to be pampered, because she has not taken any time for herself,” says friend Shalita Ford.

Alvia, who is a single mom, works a full-time job and takes her 8-year-old son Laque to his extracurricular activities. On Wednesdays, she attends a Mom’s group at her church and says that the Bible sessions have been a great source of strength.

“GOING HORSEBACK RIDING THREE DAYS A WEEK AND SPENDING TIME WITH MY FRIENDS KEEPS ME IN GOOD SPIRITS.”

Determined

BEFORE

The Hair and Makeup: Brittany Bailey, hair stylist at Strandz Salon & Threadz Boutique, used Aveda Damage Remedy moisturizing shampoo on Alvia’s hair. To help eliminate frizziness, dryness, and to add shine, Brittany applied Olaplex #7 to the hair. She gave Alvia bouncy curls using a flat iron and sprayed the hair with heat protectant. Lakin Graem, hair stylist and makeup artist at Strandz Salon & Threadz Boutique, kept Alvia’s makeup natural by using neutral tones for her eyeshadow. She also added fake eyelashes for a dramatic look.

ALVIA IS WEARING: jacket, $168; blouse, $54; necklace, $24; leggings, $68; shoes, $78. All items available at Six Sisters, sixsistersnulu.com.

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Resilient

l

Faithfu

Humble

d

Motivate

Disciplined

THE

Talk of the Table

KATE PILBEAN, 42, is an energetic mother of two who relishes every opportunity she has to spend time with her family. “She always puts others before herself and rarely takes time to herself. It’s time for the woman who does so much for everyone else to have something done for her,” says her sister Laura Wince who nominated her for the makeover. Kate says she is happiest when she and her family are sitting together at home with their dog watching television. “You learn to cherish the small moments. Family comes first. You can always have friends, but family is forever,” she says. For 13 years, Kate and her husband Jon have been volunteering at St. Margaret Mary where their daughter Annie attends school. Teaching her kids about the value of volunteerism is a priority for Kate who has had both of them involved in the St. Margaret Mary Step-by-Step volunteer program. Kate and her son Jack also became involved with the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation in 2015, a year after he was diagnosed with the disease. Since 2015, Kate and her family have raised $30,000 for the foundation.

“It’s a full family affair from Jon, me, and the two kids to all four grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins...we’re extremely blessed with a very supportive family.”

“I THINK CHANGE IS GOOD FOR YOU EVEN IF YOU AREN’T OVERLY EXCITED ABOUT IT. I THINK THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.”

Friendl

y

nticity

Authe

Generous

c

Dynami

Active l Helpfu

Creative ul

osef Purp

BEFORE THE HAIR AND MAKEUP: Lori TerBeek, artistic director at Z Salon & Spa, chose a haircut and color that would complement her facial features. For volume and texture, she used Aveda thickening tonic at the base of her hair and volumizing tonic on the ends. To finish the look, Lori used a deep set waving iron and added Aveda Air Control to hold the texture. Sydnie Johnson, colorist at Z Salon & Spa, enhanced Kate’s eyes by using golden and champagne tones. Tesserae is the shade of blush she used to give Kate a natural bronze glow.

KATE IS WEARING: Earrings, $29; top, $78; cami, $14; pants, $40; bracelet, $18; cowhide wristlet, $56. All available at Lily Rose Boutique, https://lilyroseboutiqueonline.com/. Shoes her own.

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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27 GIFTS (Why 27? Because we are 27 years old!)

Gifts that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month

By Tiffany White and Emily Elliotte Photos by Jillian Jones and Quinn Fitzgerald

1 | CRAFTED LEATHER APRON $169, European Splendor

1

2 | WOOD SERVING TRAY $30, 50Lou 3 | NAPA HOME AND GARDEN ORNAMENTS $11-15, Madeleine’s Gifts 4 | SOUP BOWL $20, Madeleine’s Gifts 5 | HANDMADE HAMPER $55, Just Creations

2

PLACES WE SHOPPED: • 50Lou, 2235 Frankfort Ave #104, 5-0-lou.com • Darling State of Mind, Westport Village, darlingstateofmind.com

3

4

• European Splendor, 2232 Frankfort Ave, european-splendor.com • Just Creations, 2722 Frankfort Ave, justcreations.org • Madeleine’s Gifts, 1245 S Hurstbourne Pkwy • Playthings, Westport Village, playthingsshoppe.com • Red Tree, 701 E Market St, redtreenulu.com • That Cute Little Shop, Paddock Shops, thatcutelittleshop.co • Shirts, Ties, N Links, Westport Village, shirtstiesnlinks.com • Treehouse, 10278 Shelbyville Rd, treehouseartisans.com

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Today’s Woman / November 2019

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27 GIFTS

6-7 6-7 | KENTUCKY COASTER $20, TRIVET $44, Darling State of Mind 8 | COFFEE AND TEA CUP COZY $14, Treehouse 9 | WAXY BEANS VANILLA BEAN CANDLE $16, Treehouse 10 | KENTUCKY 1792 PILLOW $46, Darling State of Mind 11 | LOUISVILLE 502 PILLOW $46, Darling State of Mind 12 | KENTUCKY SHAPED MAIL HOLDER $22, 50Lou 13 | MAT $46, Darling State of Mind

8

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9

10

11

12

13

27 GIFTS

17

14-16

18-19

20-21

22

14-16 | NAMASTE HANDCRAFTED PURPLE BAG AND OTHER HANDCRAFTED BAGS $26 and up, Just Creations 17 | BRACKISH PHEASANT FEATHERS BOW TIE $195, Shirts, Ties, N Links 18-19 | BOTTLE DRYING RACK $99, CUPS $19, European Splendor 20-21 | ICE BUCKET $42, CLOCHE $48, Red Tree 22 | NAVY PASSPORT HOLDER $21, European splendor Today’s Woman / November 2019

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27 GIFTS

23

24

25

23 | SQUISHABLE PILLOWS $20-$45, Playthings 24 | AIROME ULTRASONIC ESSENTIAL OIL DIFFUSER $40, Madeleine’s Gifts 25 | MAGIC KITS $15 -$40, Playthings 26 | HAT $50, Shirts, Ties, N Links 27 | RAIN JACKET (including monogram) $60-$64, That Cute Little Shop

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Today’s Woman / November 2019

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SHE’S BRINGING MORE GIRLS INTO SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

By Quinn Fitzgerald Photos by Melissa Donald

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F

rom a young age, 18-year-old Anjali Chadha fell in love with science. So, like most kids, she followed that passion. Unlike most children, however, Anjali turned her love for science into an entrepreneurial journey.

When she was only a freshman in high school, Anjali created the nonprofit organization Empowered, of which she is now the CEO, for minority high school girls to learn technical skills while being connected with minority women entrepreneurs in their community.

“This is something that has shown me that in our city, there are institutions and schools and organizations that do a really good job to bridge the gender gap, but most organizations, not just in our city but also throughout the county, are not like that,” Anjali says.

“We should look at the ones who do a good job and try and spread those models.”

Anjali isn’t the only one who has noticed the gap. Research shows that the gender gap in STEM is not only real, but that there’s a pattern. According to the National Science Foundation, the gap begins to widen in higher education and continues as women are underrepresented in the science and engineering workforce.

The solution? To expose kids, especially girls, to STEM early on in their education.

DuPont Manual High School, Anjali’s alma mater, runs a Math Science Technology (MST) program that’s designed to prepare students for STEM-related fields in any academic program at any college they choose to attend. Students apply their freshman year and, if accepted, are required to participate in the program for at least three years. Vicki Lete, assistant principal, says with the plethora of rigorous STEM classes, kids are “exposed to college-like classes so that when they come through our program and they go to another school, they’re going to perform really well because they’ve been exposed to such high rigor.”

In addition to the courses available, students at Manual are able to compete in competitions like Science Olympiad, both regional and local science fairs, and more.

One particular club at duPont Manual, Women in Science and Engineering (WISE), ensures more girls are participating in STEM. This past school year, 40 girls joined the club, which partners with Bowen Elementary for the annual WISE Expo, where fifth graders can learn about STEM topics through various fun activities like an elephant toothpaste demonstration and a building activity with marshmallows, frosting, and toothpicks.

“It’s making sure girls have an opportunity for STEM, and we support kids in that program,” Vicki says.

Across the river in New Albany, Indiana, Prosser Career Education Center — the largest career education center in the state — has been providing students a different route for studying STEM. Prosser allows students from multiple schools to learn STEM through hands-on courses.

Schools are able to save money on equipment and teachers by having the students travel to this one location.

“We continue to fight the stigma as far as what career technical education does and what it provides for individuals,” says Principal Nancy Campbell. “Our goal is to give kids the opportunity to be successful after high school.”

While bridging the gender gap in STEM is a big goal, Prosser is also working to change gender roles, for both sides, when it comes to career choice. By exposing girls, and boys, to “nontraditional” work like welding or nursing, Nancy says, “we’re making progress.”

For Anjali, learning about STEM is a way to understand the different areas of knowledge that explain life and human existence as a way to “contextualize what is our place in this world.”

“I think what’s de-emphasized about STEM is how creative it can be,” Anjali says. “It’s really a matter of learning skills and figuring out how to apply them, and that’s something I believe anybody can do.”

A more detailed story appeared in our latest issue of Today’s Family, which you can read at TodaysWomanNow.com

THE 18-YEAR-OLD ATTRIBUTES HER LOVE FOR STEM TO HER UPBRINGING AND SCHOOLING At home, Anjali grew up with two parents who work in the STEM field. Anjali’s mother, Vidya Richandran, is the co-founder of GlowTouch Technologies — a customer support and software development company. Her father, Vikram Chadha, also co-founder of GlowTouch, is the co-founder of Backupify — a cloud-to-cloud backup and recovery solution for SaaS applications, including Google Apps, Office 365, and Salesforce.

Growing up around philanthropists and entrepreneurs, it’s no wonder how Anjali found her taste for business. She says her parents have each taught her different lessons.

“My dad [has taught me] to always be open-minded, curious, and a lifelong learner. My mom [has taught me] to be persistent, believe in my mission, and put forth 110 percent effort to make it happen,” Anjali says.

“I definitely owe a lot of the success I've had with different opportunities to my parents, who have contributed their time, feedback, and moral support throughout the years.”

Anjali says the greatest aspect of her family’s work is that it’s consistently mission-driven. Whatever her parents undertake, she says, begins by considering who will be affected and how can they help those people. “They do not quit until they have achieved the vision that they set out to realize,” Anjali says. “They’ve truly taught me to focus on maximizing impact and being purpose-oriented in any task.”

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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CELEBRATIONS Photos by Maggie’s Photography

S

arah Ford and Chris Fowler had a rustic manor farm wedding in May at Blackacre Conservancy in front of about 100 guests.

They exchanged vows at a picturesque farmland, with horses and goats spotting the landscape.

Sarah’s favorite memory was when, at the request of her mother-in-law, the DJ played a song that Chris had recorded in his early 20s. It was a cover of the song Bring It On Home by Little Big Town. “It was such a special moment because of the lyrics of this song. Little did my husband know when he recorded this song in his 20s that he was actually singing this song for his future wife,” she says.

Sarah’s advises other couples to schedule time before the wedding to sit down with your pastor and discuss the meaning of marriage as it relates to the Bible and focus on what it truly means to be husband and wife. “Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in all of the planning — like what invitations to choose, what cake flavors to serve, song choices to select,” she says.

THE DETAILS Color Palette Dusty Blue & Mauve Must Haves Sarah’s son, Nolan Foley, stands by her side as Man of Honor Ceremony & Reception Site Blackacre Conservancy Photographer Maggie’s Photography, Maggie Mattingly Flowers La Vie en Rose Florals, Sarah Busby Dress Melissa Sweet 7MS251192 Bridesmaid Dresses Adrianna Papell & David’s Bridal Tuxes Men’s Wearhouse Catering/Food Sander Catering Cake Samie Jaggers (groom’s cousin) Ceremony & Reception Music Joe Foster, DJ Décor Reliable Rentals Rings Genesis Diamonds and Ashcroft & Oak Jewelers Stationery Minted.com Hair Echo Salon, Dakota Settle McDonald Rehearsal Dinner Irish Rover on Frankfort Avenue Honeymoon Charleston, SC and 5-day cruise to the Bahamas

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Today’s Woman / November 2019

59

Caregiver Guide

By Carrie Vittitoe

PROVIDING CARE WHEREVER YOU LIVE

O

ur Caregiving Guide showcases local senior communities and homecare services that offer a wide range of benefits for seniors, as well as access to quality medical care and safety.

Illustration by Kayla Oldham Hammitt

SOCIALIZATION: Caregiver Guide

Making Friends in Town Here are some opportunities for socialization in our community: • YMCA supports Forever Young and Active Older Adults, social groups that provide a great opportunity to socialize and meet new friends. They assist seniors in our community in staying healthy and active physically, mentally, and socially.

• Jewish Community Center offers the J Healthy Senior Adults Program, which provides year-round nutrition, fitness, recreation, education, and cultural activities that ensure the health, social connection, and independent living of senior adults.

• The Thrive Center offers a variety of educational and exercise opportunities: Feet to the Fire Writers’ Workshops for Seniors, SingFit (Therapeutic Music for Dementia), Chair Yoga, and Meditation.

• The Trager Institute connects patients with community resources, provides wellness support that addresses all aspects of your health, and works with your doctors to coordinate your health care.

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HAVE YOU HAD YOUR DAILY DOSE?

By Allie Hembree Martin

A

s people age, social activities become important for mental and even physical health.

Dr. Christian Furman, professor of geriatric medicine at the University of Louisville and medical director at the Trager Institute, says “interaction between people keeps your brain active and prevents dementia, depression, and it usually comes in the form of some kind of movement.

All of these things promote physical and mental sharpness and health.”

Dr. Jacquelyn Graven, licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist and owner/founder of Graven and Associates says social activity also gives individuals meaning and value to their lives. “Socialization builds relationships and builds connections, which stimulates the brain and gets your body up and moving.”

Dr. Graven says, “There are signs if you are sitting for too long and not moving as you should. Often depression and anxiety can set in, which lowers one’s self-confidence. You see this as a ripple effect where everything just kind of atrophies.”

“You need to talk in order for your brain to work. If you don’t, depression and memory loss set in,” Dr. Furman says. “Geriatric patients are very similar to pediatric patients. Think about when a child hasn’t learned to speak yet.

Oftentimes they go to school and start interacting with other students and they develop that ability to speak easily. It is the same with older folks — if they don’t use certain abilities, they will lose them.”

Dr. Furman suggests a screening test for depression, as that will be a good indicator if the individual is lonely or isolated. There are warning signs to look for such as a change in personality if the person used to be very engaged, but now they are more withdrawn; if the person is confused; if the person is suicidal or talks frequently about dying; and if the person is not keeping up her appearance.

“Individuals need to be doing some type of social engagement every single day,” Dr. Furman advises. “Now with technology, it can be online, through Facetime, texting, they even have robots that can provide company for individuals. You don’t want to always rely on technology, but it can fill in the gap as needed. Without a doubt, a human’s touch is needed once a week.”

There are a variety of ways an individual can socialize: a friends network, adult continuing education, book clubs, volunteering, going to a worship center, having a home health agency check-in, and taking part in specific programming at various centers around the city. Dr. Furman says she tells her patients to just blame her. “I tell them to say, ‘It’s doctor’s orders, and Dr. Furman says I have to go to lunch at least once a week.’ But you really just need to get something on the calendar and make it happen.

Don’t let it slip by and just sit around watching TV instead.”

Dr. Graven suggests looking at what the individual has enjoyed doing.

“Determine what sparks joy in that person’s life and look for opportunities that allow them to participate.”

Here are some other activities that keep the mind sharp: gamebased apps such as Scrabble or poker; reading the newspaper or a book; working a puzzle; writing one’s own story by recalling memories; or,using an app that gives a word of the day and ways to use it to encourage the brain to learn something new.

Both doctors agree that the most important thing we can do as caregivers and family members is to listen.

Dr. Furman suggests starting a conversation with “tell me a story when…” and let them talk. “For those with memory problems who may not be able to remember yesterday, they often can recall childhood moments and be able to share those with you.

Remind them what season of the year it is by saying things like ‘Thanksgiving is coming up, what was Thanksgiving like for you growing up?’ When you visit, you can play games or work math problems in a workbook, but the best and easiest thing we can do is just listen.”

What can you talk about with older relatives instead of health-related issues?

Experts suggest the following: • Ask them to tell you a story.

• Tell them about a current event and ask what their experience was like with something similar.

• Allow them to share memories.

• Look for conversation starters throughout the day.

• Avoid discussions of politics and religion.

Today’s Woman / November 2019

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Caregiver Guide

Photos by Patti Hartog

PROMOTION

“We hire our staff for their hearts. We’re about passionate care, service, and cleanliness.”

— Glenna Godsey, Director of Community Relations at The Grand Senior Living

THE GRAND SENIOR LIVING | The Grand is a state-of-the-art senior living community that is mere steps away from Norton Commons in eastern Jefferson County and offers independent living, personal care, and memory care. It opened in August 2019 and is welcoming new residents who are looking for passionate care that is affordable.

When it comes to amenities, The Grand’s list is extensive. In addition to concierge service, The Grand has a spa, salon, and barbershop on site. Physically active residents will find plenty to do at the indoor heated pool, the yoga studio, the putting green, and the

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bocce ball court. The various lounges on campus include a wine and cocktail lounge, a bourbon lounge, and a ladies fillies lounge where many residents play bridge.

Being a block away from Norton Commons is a big draw for many Grand residents.

They are able to access the shops, restaurants, and doctor’s offices within the community with little trouble. Having the sidewalks so close to the senior living campus makes it easy for Grand residents to add more exercise to their days.

The Grand is near Norton Brownsboro Hospital, which puts residents at ease knowing they are close to emergency care

should they ever need it. The Paddock Shops are under two miles away, which is also a nice convenience.

There are many ways to stay engaged at The Grand. The Green Thumb Club is open to all residents and is an above-ground gardening club geared toward those who love puttering in soil and with plants of all varieties. Residents who love movies can take advantage of the theater and media space on campus.

The Grand welcomes speakers to engage and educate residents on topics that interest them. “We have writers and guests from museums who bring artifacts. We want

residents to be stimulated,” says Director of Community Relations Glenna Godsey.

For more quiet spaces, The Grand offers libraries and an art gallery that features the work of local artists. There are also cozy nooks in which to play chess or read.

Transportation is provided for doctor’s appointments as well as recreational outings, such as the opera, outlet malls, and local orchards.

Residents have the opportunity to find and create ways of building relationships.

Glenna says when resident Al Bartko was searching for a senior living community, he was looking for a place that felt like home; a place where staff was proud to work and passionate to come each day.

“I’ll know it when I feel it,” he said. He felt it at The Grand and hugged Glenna after he made the decision to move in.

This hug of welcoming gave Al the idea to start his own community service group at The Grand called The Louisville Huggers.

Like the local bat with a similar-sounding name, Al feels like he hit one out of the park by moving into The Grand.

With 173 apartments, there is a space that will suit every need. In independent living, residents can select from one- and twobedroom apartments, as well as some two-bedroom spaces that include dens.

Kitchens are fully equipped with appliances, and apartments include washers/dryers.

Personal care offers studios, one- and twobedroom spaces, and these include full-size refrigerators and microwaves. Memory care offers private and companion suites.

our staff for their hearts. We’re about passionate care, service, and cleanliness,” Godsey says. In addition to caregivers, The Grand’s nursing staff is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

The Grand also offers support groups for memory care and Parkinson’s disease, as well as other needs. Staff is committed to offering assistance to families and the community at large.

The community is invited to the facility’s grand opening on November 7 from 4-6 pm.

The celebration has a Great Gatsby theme and will include vintage automobiles, a band, dancers, and local celebrities.

Staff at The Grand have a desire to offer the best possible care to residents in personal and memory care. “We hire

9300 Civic Way | Prospect, KY | 502.233.3855 | thegrand-sl.com Today’s Woman / November 2019

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Caregiver Guide

Photos by Patti Hartog

PROMOTION

“There are structured activities that lead into unstructured activities.

If a Creative Cooking class is only supposed to last an hour, but everyone is enjoying it and having fun, they can keep making pizzas for three hours if that’s what they want to do.”

— Tori Harper, Executive Director of The Legacy at English Station

We often think of dementia as one disease, but it has a unique progression depending on the individual who has it. For this reason, families need to consider their loved one’s personality and individual cognitive needs when seeking a memory care community.

For some, the layout of The Legacy and its BFF Program will be a perfect fit.

THE LEGACY AT ENGLISH STATION |

Caregivers at The Legacy at English Station complete 12 months of training on the BFF Program. The campus also employs Master Trainers to help ensure that its residents receive high-quality, compassionate care.

“The BFF Program is designed to make our Legacy residents feel supported, loved, and valued,” says Emily Witt, Divisional Senior Living Specialist.

The Legacy at English Station's BFF Program is inspired by The Best Friends™ Approach to Dementia Care. Developed by Virginia Bell and David Troxel, the Best Friends™ Approach is based on the belief that what every person with dementia needs is a friend, and best friend.

Residents’ families are offered training in the BFF Program to help minimize anxiety for their loved ones. Adult children and grandchildren are encouraged to ask their loved ones openended questions, which frequently result in conversation and stories they might not know from their loved one’s past.

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When a new resident moves in, Legacy staff collects their life stories through conversations with them and their families to get a sense of what interests and experiences residents have had, from military service during wartime, to whether a resident grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana, and likes hot sauce with her meals.

Activities at The Legacy at English Station are offered based on Trilogy Health Services' Daily Rhythms program. As their energy levels change throughout the day, residents are offered activities that perfectly suit how they are feeling in the moment. “There are structured activities that lead into unstructured activities,”

Executive Director Tori Harper says. “If a Creative Cooking class is only supposed to last an hour, but everyone is enjoying it and having fun, they can keep making pizzas for three hours if that’s what they want to do.” Daily Rhythms allows residents to have greater agency in what their days look like and how they are structured.

Three neighborhoods, each containing 20 apartments, branch out from The Legacy at English Station’s central courtyard: Wetherby Way, Fountaine Park, and Belle Boulevard. Residents of all three neighborhoods are encouraged to take advantage of this safe, beautiful outdoor space, which features porches, planters and rocking chairs. “There is so much room for someone to safely and freely explore,” Witt says. The courtyard is the site of many activities, from community-wide cookouts to small-group exercise classes. It is also a

favorite place for families to gather when visiting their loved ones.

as a resource for caregivers and families who want to connect or need advice.

Residents can make baked coconut custard, pecan pie balls, and other delicious foods during The Legacy’s Creative Cooking classes. Groups of friends can also gather for games such as corn hole and horseshoes. Individuals who want more vigorous activity can participate in basketball, bowling, or even dancing.

Those with artistic talents may enjoy making salt dough ornaments, creating a decorative wreath, or brushless painting.

On the third Friday of every month, during lunch at 11:30am, The Legacy hosts a caregiver support group. It also hosts a monthly Senior Executive Club, which is for seniors who live independently but would like to network with others. “It’s an opportunity for seniors who are still living on their own to join us once a month for an educational guest speaker and meal,” Witt says.

Not every moment, however, has to be busy. There are opportunities over the course of each week to practice mindful meditation, to participate in devotions, and to have time to relax and recharge.

The Legacy at English Station will also hold a community holiday open house on December 4, 2019, from 4-6pm.

The Legacy at English Station is more than just a memory care community; it serves

13700 English Villa Drive | Louisville, KY | 502.888.1371 | trilogyhs.com/senior-living/ky/louisville/the-legacy-at-english-station Today’s Woman / November 2019

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Caregiver Guide

Photos by Patti Hartog

PROMOTION

“From the second somebody walks in the door, I’m trying to find out what they like and what a typical day for them might be.”

— Mallory Disbrow, Director of Elements

STONECREST OF LOUISVILLE |

Stonecrest of Louisville offers both personal and memory care on its senior living campus: Elements, the personal care neighborhood, and Virtue, the memory care. Within both levels of care, residents are assured to find engaging programming that keeps them active in the small community and beyond.

From personal experience, Director of Sales and Marketing Ashleigh Skaggs knows that choosing a senior community can be stressful, especially if a loved one needs memory care. “It is one of the most difficult things a family will ever have to go through,” she says. “Most families don’t realize what a daunting task it can be until they

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are in the middle of it. Every community offers something unique for seniors, and we realize that what we offer may not be suitable for everyone. My goal is to find you the best community, and I will provide you with the resources to find the best fit.”

Residents who might want to move into Stonecrest of Louisville begin a discovery process with Stonecrest staff. The process is called EPIC and stands for Explore, Problems, Impact, and Conclusion. It helps staff understand where residents are emotionally and cognitively, what problems they are experiencing, the impact of these problems on their quality of life, and how Stonecrest can help the residents and their families.

If an individual and family decide that Stonecrest is the best fit, Move-in Coordinator Emily Roney helps them select an apartment and goes over the move-in binder, which simplifies the paperwork. She inspects the apartment to ensure it is pristine and ready for the new resident. “I want to make [moving in] as carefree as I can. I have even gone so far as to physically help people move,” she says.

New residents get a custom gift to welcome them to the Stonecrest family.

Stonecrest’s Life Engagement Program is tailored to suit residents’ interests and needs.

Mallory Disbrow, Director of Elements, takes great effort to fill the activity calendar with programming that interests and involves

residents. “Our residents like an elevated, scholarly approach to engagement,” she says. One of their favorites is TED Talk Tuesdays, where they stream videos from the TED website featuring experts addressing issues within their fields of study. She also hosts many live speakers, such as philosophy professors or one-woman shows, in the community to engage residents as well.

“Every Tuesday and Thursday without fail, we have the biggest happy hour you’ve ever seen in a senior living community,” Disbrow says.

“Residents love to invite their friends and families.” Many families come for happy hour and then go on to have dinner with their loved ones afterwards in the community dining room.

While residents in Virtue’s memory care do similar programming to that in Elements, it may be toned down in length or vigor.

Stonecrest is in the process of rolling out

new programming in memory care that uses technology to help improve cognition.

It’s Never Too Late (IN2L) is a software program that residents can customize to allow them to view clips from around the world and travel to new places, as well as stay involved with family and friends whether they are local or far away.

Family members can send photos or upload videos to share with memory care residents, which is a great way for busy adult children and grandchildren to stay in touch with their loved ones.

Fit Minds is a cognitive stimulation therapy program that builds on a variety of skills: music, language, spatial orientation, critical thinking, computation, and

memory/recall. Opening Minds Through Art (OMA) will allow Stonecrest to partner with a high school or college to bring students in to work one-on-one with residents to examine, discuss and make art.

“These programs will be a great way to maintain relationships with their loved ones while they are in senior living,” Disbrow says.

“If we can foster relationships through them, it will make residents’ quality of life that much better.” The open layout of Stonecrest will allow staff to be involved with residents as they use these programs, offering help or answering questions. While these programs will be housed in memory care, seniors in personal care will also be able to use these technology tools.

1105 Dorsey Ln | Louisville, KY | 502.257.5081 | stonecrestoflouisville.com Today’s Woman / November 2019

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Making A New Place Feel Like Home

CHOOSING TO LIVE BEAUTIFULLY WHEREVER YOU ARE Caregiver Guide

Interior designer Liz Toombs took the framed artwork from above Margaret's kitchen cabinets and repurposed them in Margaret's new, downsized space.

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By Taylor Riley

T

o make a house a home can oftentimes be a challenge for anyone, but for those moving into long-term care communities after living independently for decades, it can be a whole new world. Seniors who’ve experienced the transition and a designer who has aided in the process have come together to give their tips for making the unfamiliar environment feel more like a home.

Liz Toombs, owner of PDR Interiors in Lexington, Kentucky, helped 90-yearold Margaret Jones move out of her condominium complex into Legacy Reserve at Fritz Farm in Lexington in 2018. Margaret and her family knew it was time to make the transition when it became harder for her to go up and down the building’s concrete steps and walk the long path from the carport to the entrance. “I realized at that point of my life, I couldn’t keep living there,” Margaret says. “It got to the point where it was harder and harder.” So, her daughter, Peggy Littrell, helped her move to the long-term care community off of Man O’ War Boulevard.

Peggy and Liz had the large job of making the new environment feel like home to Margaret. The challenge, Liz says, was downsizing from the permanent home to a smaller area.

“It’s not the easiest thing in this world to do,” Margaret says about moving.

“Being realistic makes it easier.”

Liz helped Peggy and Margaret choose what items would be best in Margaret’s new space. “We chose the items with sentimental value,” Liz says, adding that she asked Margaret which items made her happy — “the ones that sparked joy and good memories.” The other items that didn’t mean as much, Margaret gave to relatives or sold.

“It’s not as hard giving up the items when they’re staying in the family,” Margaret says.

Margaret wanted to “start fresh” in her new space, so Liz bought new items but made sure to add artwork and photos that were important to Margaret.

“Photos tend to be the most personal items in homes,” Liz says. “They’re easy to relocate, assuming there is wall space.” Liz got creative with Margaret’s space, adding photos on a gallery wall in the hallway and above Margaret’s closet to maximize the use of space, according to Liz. “The pictures are near and dear to my heart,” Margaret says.

Margaret says she “gave up a lot of independence” moving into a facility, but she wouldn’t go back to independent living. She doesn’t have to grocery shop or cook and is able to enjoy her days doing a variety of physical activities like swimming in the on-site pool and going to social functions and on field trips. “I’m glad that I did it,” Margaret says about her move.

Another senior who was happy about her move into a long-term care facility is Virginia Strohecker, 93, who now lives at Treyton Oak Towers in Louisville.

As a girl, Virginia grew up in Barren County with her mother and father who owned a country store. When she reached adulthood, Virginia made quite a name for herself as secretary for many legislators in Kentucky.

Virginia and her late husband Edwin originally met in Louisville as adolescents, but spent most of their married life in Murray and Park, Kentucky. It wasn’t until 2010 that the couple, in their 80s, decided to sell their 2-acre farmhouse to move back to Louisville and into a two-bedroom, two-bathroom unit at Treyton Oak.

Keep the items that “sparked joy and good memories.”

The couple brought everything they could to their new home, including old family pieces like a three-corner cupboard they had to literally cut in two and put back together, antique furniture they bought from auctions, intricate collectables, and even a stained glass window from their old home.

Edwin has since died, and Virginia lives in the apartment by herself. She feels safe because it is equipped with emergency buttons and is close to hospitals if anything would ever happen to her. Virginia feels at home in her unit with her Tiffany lamps, crystal pieces, and collectibles. She says she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Virginia's Treyton Oak Towers apartment feels comfortable to her because of the personal touches she brought from her original home, such as her Tiffany desk lamp and collectibles.

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Photos by Patti Hartog

Caregiver Guide PROMOTION

“To be a caregiver, you have to treat people how you want to be treated.

At the end of the day, we’re all someone’s patient.”

— Nicolette Greene, Certified Hospice/Palliative Care Nursing Assistant, Hosparus Health

HOSPARUS HEALTH | Caregiving requires that an individual have an abundance of soft skills, not the least of which is an ability to adapt to new situations. Hosparus Health staff meet and care for people at various stages of life who have vastly different needs and desires. Meeting those needs is no small matter. Whether patients have dementia, ALS, or terminal cancer, all want to feel empowered and have a high quality of life, regardless how long it lasts.

Hospice/Palliative Care Nursing Assistant Nicolette Greene meets the daily needs of the unable, such as bathing, dressing, grooming, and oral care. She mainly goes into people’s homes but also is in some of the Hosparus facilities.

Nicolette says the best thing about caregiving is knowing that she can make a difference in someone’s else’s life. “I believe that we all are designed for a special purpose, and mine happens to be caring for people. I see it as being a superhero; I enjoy what I do, and I do it with a passion and a smile,” she says.

When Nicolette visits patients in their homes, she remains focused on the patients while adapting to new environments. “I’m not just comforting the patient but the family members as well. Sometimes they hurt the most just knowing that their loved one is going through this. All patients’ needs are different, so I have to deal with everyone accordingly,” she says.

“Families are my eyes and ears because I’m going into a home where I don’t know anyone. I try to be a good listener.

It lets them know that I’m truly attentive to the needs of their loved one.” If Nicolette does not have the answer to a family member’s question, she will reach out to a nurse through text, email, or a phone call.

“I am very organized and efficient. I utilize my time and get things done in a timely manner. I try to think ahead to what a patient needs,” Nicolette says.

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Photos by Patti Hartog

Caregiver Guide PROMOTION

“We collect a life story on each person prior to their admission, which we give to all the staff, including housekeeping and dietary. We let everyone read about the person and get to know some things about him/her.”

— Gretchen Houchin, Director of Community Development at Nazareth Home

NAZARETH HOME | Caregiving can mean meeting the needs of an individual or a small group of people, but Nazareth Home, which has a community on Newburg Road, as well as in Clifton, is able to offer caregiving in a variety of ways to its residents and the public at large.

Once a month, Nazareth Home hosts a support group at its Highlands campus, which is open to the public. The group meets on Mondays from 5:30-6:30pm in the chapel and is led by Gretchen Houchin, the director of community development at Nazareth, and Dr. Stephen Bliss, a neuropsychologist.

“We usually have some type of educational piece or topic, such as dementia, stress management, or communication. People

generally ask questions, but we usually go off that topic because there’s often something else someone in the group wants to talk about,” Gretchen says.

staff. “It’s a really good way for our staff to get to know someone before they get here so they can do relationship building with that person,” Gretchen says.

“We really want to be educators in the community. We have a lot of experience in dementia care,” Gretchen says. By creating this group, Nazareth Home has offered its leadership and emotional support to individuals who may be actively caregiving on a daily basis at home as well as to those whose loved ones are now in memory care.

Another facet of the Peace of Mind program is that a staff member will stay with a resident for the first 48-72 hours of their time in the community. The staff can show the new resident around and help them become familiar with their new setting, which puts the new resident and family at ease. “When the families leave, they know someone is with their loved one, and it gives them peace of mind, too,” Gretchen says.

When it comes to caring for its own residents, Nazareth Home offers the Peace of Mind program, where a life story of the new resident is collected and shared with

HIGHLANDS | 2000 Newburg Rd | Louisville, KY | 502.459.9681 | nazhome.org CLIFTON | 2120 Payne St | Louisville, KY | 502.895.9425 | nazhome.org Today’s Woman / November 2019

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Photos by Patti Hartog

Caregiver Guide PROMOTION

“We don’t hire anyone we wouldn’t want in our own homes.”

— Terry Graham, Co-owner of Helping Hands Companion Care Services

HELPING HANDS | Since 2007, Terry

Graham and Dawn Smithwick have been the owners of Helping Hands Companion Care Services, which provides in-home, nonmedical care. In those years, they’ve made a conscientious decision to hire individuals with a special, intuitive knack for caring for seniors.

“We can teach them to have any of the skills [of companion care], but there’s a distinction for caring for older people,” Graham says. It takes a unique heart to be a caregiver.

The caregivers that Helping Hands hires perform jobs ranging from helping seniors bathe to prepping meals to taking them to the doctor. Sometimes, caregivers fill in for families when they are at work during the day or at night to allow family caregivers a chance to rest. Sometimes Helping Hands caregivers stay with a loved one who is in

rehab or hospice when the family is unable to be there. Small tasks, such as feeding someone ice chips or propping their pillows so they are more comfortable, may seem unimportant, but they are much needed and appreciated by the person who needs care.

One of the most important parts of caregiving is ensuring that information about a seniors’ care is accurately and faithfully translated to families. If a Helping Hands caregiver attends a doctor’s visit with a senior, he or she will take notes or even call a family member during an office appointment to get or convey information. If a senior has physical therapy appointments, caregivers can not only get instructions to share with families, but they can assist the senior in practicing the exercises at home.

Helping Hands offers care up to 24 hours a day, and they tailor their services based on the needs of the individual who is receiving care.

Graham and Smithwick offer a complimentary assessment to help families determine what their loved one needs most. While some seniors need help with daily living activities, others simply need some companionship.

Graham and Smithwick say having a Helping Hands companion is like having an extra son or daughter to offer care to an aging loved one. The care they give helps not only the loved one, but the entire family.

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Photos by Patti Hartog

Caregiver Guide PROMOTION

“Everything we do here is to reduce the progression of the disease [dementia] while increasing quality of life. Every integrated piece, from caregivers to kitchen staff to the activities director to the director of nursing, has a role to play that assists with that goal.” — Amy Clark, executive director of Barton House BARTON HOUSE | Individuals with dementia and other cognitive declines benefit from routines, which help maintain functional abilities and reduce stress and anxiety. As the executive director of Barton House, a small memory care community, Amy Clark knows that when a new resident arrives, it can be stressful for both the newcomer and the current residents. All have to go through a process of adjustment.

Prior to a new resident joining the community, Amy will visit with the individual and his/her family to conduct an assessment. Her decision on when to admit the client depends not only on the needs of that person, but on the needs of Barton House’s current residents. If a resident who has been in the community

for two weeks is still struggling to adapt to routines and schedules, Amy may delay another resident moving in for a short time.

“I’m not going to fill up the building just to fill my beds. We’re more about quality care than quantity,” she says.

One of the most important things Barton House does is connect prospective families with families whose loved ones are currently or have been residents. “It’s one thing when the executive director or director of nursing say, ‘This is what we do.’

It’s another thing when they’re actually talking to the family of a resident,” she says.

routines focus on cognitive stimulation, such as trivia, while afternoons are structured around a rest period followed by activities to get the blood moving.

Residents regularly welcome not only their families, but organizations from the community, such as the zoo.

Caregiving at Barton House also means that it feels like a home. A dog and cat live at Barton House (as well as some fish) to provide comfort and snuggles to residents.

Caregiving at Barton House is holistic, impacting residents’ physical, cognitive, and emotional well-being. Morning

6830 Overlook Dr | Louisville, KY | 502.423.7177 | bartonlouisville.com Today’s Woman / November 2019

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Submitted photo

Caregiver Guide PROMOTION

“Families seek our help to make the move as smooth as possible.

That is my primary role. I tell families every day that it is my privilege to do this, and it is my job to make the transition seamless for them.”

— Joanie Lepping Gillis, Director of Community Relations at Episcopal Church Home

EPISCOPAL CHURCH HOME | One

thing that makes Episcopal Church Home’s caregiving unique is that “we are a true continuum of care; we offer all licensed care levels in the state of Kentucky,” says Joanie Lepping Gillis, director of community relations. Residents can enter the community when they are active and independent, but as their care needs increase over time, they are able to move to the assisted living, skilled care, or personal care neighborhoods on campus.

“There are only two states in the union that have personal care: Kentucky and Pennsylvania. It is a unique care level,” Joanie says. “I think personal care is the epitome of

allowing folks to age in place.” Personal care licensing means that everything related to medication, from ordering to administering, is handled by staff to ensure that residents get the right doses of medication at the right time. In assisted living, families still have responsibility for this task because licensing only allows assisted living communities to remind residents to take their prescription medication.

When a family is anticipating the transition of an aging parent into a community, Joanie urges them to keep their parent’s needs as their top priority and be united in their decisions. “Everybody has to be

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on the same page,” she says. It can cause an aging parent tremendous stress if adult children can’t agree on what to do.

Joanie urges families to get their loved ones’ legal documents in order prior to visiting senior living communities. These documents include power of attorney, living wills, and health care surrogate forms. When families come in, they might be months away from making a decision. “Having legal documents in place is a really good place to start [if parents aren’t quite ready to make a move].

It opens up the conversation for a parent to allow a little bit more help,” she says.

Photos by Patti Hartog

Caregiver Guide PROMOTION

“I like meeting new people. Making new residents feel comfortable, welcomed, and at home when they move in is very rewarding.”

— Rosie Brown, 90, Hospitality Committee Leader at The Forum

THE FORUM | Moving into a new senior living community can be exhilarating. You may be excited to have new living quarters with access to activities and meals, but you may not know anyone or your way around the community. The Forum at Brookside recognizes moving involves a transitional period, so both current residents and staff work together to ensure they roll out the welcome wagon for new neighbors.

Whenever someone tours The Forum, Sales Director Kathy Embry invites them to stay or come back for dinner. If they do, volunteers from the hospitality program host them in the dining room. “It alleviates a lot of misconceptions about the community when they sit down and actually talk to residents

who experience this community every day,” Kathy says. “The hospitality committee is very instrumental in helping people to decide to move into the community.”

Once a person moves in to The Forum, members of the hospitality committee, such as Hospitality Committee leader Rosie Brown, will ask the new resident to have dinner again and offer to walk them into the dining room on their first day.

For the first year, newcomers are part of a small group that meets once a month.

Hospitality members chat with new residents, and Directors and Coordinators check in to ensure they understand the programs and activities offered

by The Forum.

Cierra White, the Move-in Coordinator, gathers information about new residents and their interests, which is then posted in the community’s newsletter. She does a one-on-one orientation with them in their apartments or villas and goes over the handbook so new residents know exactly how the community operates and whom to seek out if they have questions or concerns.

Within the first month of move-in, The Forum hosts a “New Nesters Lunch,” which brings together new residents, the Executive Director, and all management staff. “This gives them an opportunity to put names and faces together and understand the role of each department,” Kathy says.

200 Brookside Dr. | Louisville, KY 40243 | 502.245.3048 | TheForumAtBrookside.com Today’s Woman / November 2019

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MORNING POINTE | Purpose and passion are essential to leading a fulfilling life. Morning Pointe of Louisville Senior Living campus, which offers both personal care and memory care, strives to provide its residents with both. At the personal care community, activities are designed to enrich and enhance residents’ lives, not simply to pass the time, while remaining mindful of the local culture and the residents’ own interests. Games like bridge and bingo certainly have their place at Morning Pointe, but residents are also encouraged to engage with the greater community through volunteer work, broaden their horizons through book clubs and outings to sites of historical importance, challenge themselves with exercise classes and walking clubs, and pursue their passions with baking, crafting, and gardening activities.

In The Lantern at Morning Pointe Alzheimer’s Center of Excellence, Louisville memory care community, the Meaningful Day program is a purposeful memory care program designed to provide structure to help residents feel safe and secure. Every associate, not just resident assistants and medical staff, thoroughly gets to know each resident, learning their personal histories and incorporating these stories into their care.

"We believe that meaningful connection is one of the best ways to guarantee resident satisfaction."

Caregiver Guide

PROMOTION

— Cara Lococo, Regional Director of Sales and Marketing at Morning Pointe

“We are constantly seeking to provide our residents with meaningful connections with every activity we plan, every associate we hire, and every community partnership we forge," says Cara Lococo, Regional Director of Sales and Marketing.

"This is senior care done the right way.”

4701 and 4711 S. Hurstbourne Parkway | Louisville KY | 502.873.3800 | morningpointe.com

Search for Care Communities Online NEW FEATURE @ TODAYSTRANSITIONSNOW.COM! Becoming a new caregiver can be overwhelming when you don't know where to go for help. Today's Transitions, a magazine for seniors and caregivers, provides articles and resources for people seeking a new living and healthcare situation for themselves or their loved one. "We want to give caregivers the power to make informed decisions about the care of their loved one and

understand the care communities and long-term care options that are available," says Cathy Zion, publisher of Today's Transitions.

How can you find help?

Now, along with the magazine, you can go to TodaysTransitionsNow.com to search for solutions for specific care options by location. You can search by the type of care, such as home health

or assisted living, or you can search by location to find all the options that are available in the area. You can even see photos and lists of features for each of the options.

Today’s Transitions keeps providing you solutions for later living — everything from living life to the fullest to finding help for those loved ones in your life who need extra care.

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THE ALTENHEIM | The Altenheim offers a variety of care options, including independent living, personal care, and nursing facility care. Families that need a break from 24-hour caregiving can access respite stays, whereby a resident can stay from anywhere from seven to 30 days. Regardless of how long an individual stays at The Altenheim, he or she receives high quality, compassionate care.

Being a small community, staff members know residents as unique individuals and are able to go above and beyond to provide holistic caregiving for all residents, meeting not only their physical needs but their emotional and psychological needs as well.

Staff at The Altenheim, working with Honor Flight Bluegrass, helped send three of their residents — World War II veterans ­— on a memorable trip to Washington, DC to commemorate and celebrate their service to the country. Administrator Mary Jo Coker says, “We’re always very creative when it comes to activities for our residents. If they’re going to benefit from it, we’re going to get them there.”

Caregiver Guide

PROMOTION

“Witnessing this mission [to Washington] was humbling and only made me feel more grateful to be a part of such an awesome group of staff, family, and volunteers.”

— Laura Stephens, Director of Nursing at The Altenheim

At The Altenheim, giving individualized care means working closely with families. Director of Nursing Laura Stephens says staff works diligently to keep family members informed of how their loved one is adjusting or changing within community living. Communication is key to supporting the resident and family.

Come see for yourself how special The Altenheim is.

936 Barret Ave | Louisville, KY | 502.584.7417 | thealtenheim.org TWINBROOK | One of the most important ways that Twinbrook staff provide care to clients is through transportation.

Only about 15 percent of Twinbrook clients drive, which means having a reliable way to get out to purchase groceries and personal items is essential. Clients look forward to their weekly shopping outings. These outings allow them independence without the worry that comes with driving in traffic.

Photos by Patti Hartog

Every Thursday, Twinbrook residents go to Kroger to pick up beverages, snacks, and prescriptions that they need. Activities Director Joann Morgan will do the shopping for residents who are ill, have other commitments, or don’t want to head to the store that particular day.

After the shopping is done, clients know that their items will not only be taken out of the van upon returning to Twinbrook, but will be delivered right to their apartment doors and even put away if needed.

Caregiver Guide

PROMOTION

“Twinbrook staff confirm dates and times with doctor’s office staff so there is no confusion on when a resident’s next appointment is.”

— Adrienne Madden, Client Service Coordinator at Twinbrook Assisted Living

Every other week, Twinbrook provides transportation to various shops that offer a wider range of products, such as clothing, accessories, and decor. “They really enjoy it,” says Client Service Coordinator Adrienne Madden. “Doesn’t everybody enjoy going to T. J. Maxx?”

Owner Brad McCoy says transportation to and from doctor visits is another important component of Twinbrook’s caregiving. “If clients can’t go in by themselves, staff will stay with them,” he says. This kind of caregiving means Twinbrook residents are generally in better health because staff also help ensure they get regular follow-up visits.

3525 Ephraim McDowell Dr | Louisville, KY | 502.452.6330 | twinbrookassistedliving.com Today’s Woman / November 2019

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LOOK UP AND SEE...

SMALL DAILY ACTIONS MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE

By Bob Mueller

O

ur daily actions don’t have to be big or heroic.

They can be as simple as a kind word, a hug, or keeping quiet while someone else talks to us about what they’re feeling. Sometimes tiny acts can make a big difference in other people’s lives. They can reverse a bad day or help someone feel wanted and important. And let’s face it, we all want to feel important.

By increasing your awareness of what others are experiencing, you can learn to put kindness into daily action. And while of course you want to be kind to others, it is often best to start by looking inward.

HERE ARE FOUR THINGS I DO TO EXERCISE KINDNESS: • Smile at myself. We can be so cruel to ourselves when we look into the mirror, zeroing in on every imperfection. It’s time to give your mirror a makeover by standing in front of one and finding your beauty. Keep looking until you see all that is good and right and loveable about yourself. When you see it, give yourself a big, wide, joyful smile.

• Look up. I really do believe Emerson’s quote, which reads, “The sky is the daily bread for the eyes.” What color is the sky today? What are the clouds doing? Is a storm brewing? Are the stars out? Take a few deep breaths and really gaze. Think about how your problems fit into this boundless, infinite scope. Remember that you are the only one like you in all that endless space, and that the stresses and problems you face will come and go, but in the end, they’ll mean little — they are space dust. Looking up will put your life in perspective.

• Travel. Travel expands our consciousness, and I travel as often as I can. In his book, The Innocents Abroad, Mark Twain wrote, “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrowmindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and women and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

• Ask others to help me. Do someone the kindness of being able to be there for you, to give you something you need that you can’t give yourself. Whenever I reach out to others for their help it reminds me of my vulnerability and it makes them feel good.

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AND THERE ARE FOUR THINGS I DO FOR OTHERS: • Leave or send a note. Slip a sweet note of love, encouragement, or inspiration into your partner’s pocket, your child’s lunch, or send a thank-you note to a friend or colleague. In my role as a fundraiser for Hosparus Health, I have witnessed the joy a personal thank you note brings to a donor or a volunteer.

• Invite someone to something. Being invited to things makes people feel special. Whenever you extend an invitation, you show the other person that you value their company and want to spend time with them. Set a date for lunch or dinner or an informal get-together. Foster your connections.

• Give someone something. I am notorious about giving people things. For me, it might be as simple as a pen, one of my books or bookmarks, or my business cards.

Or it might be giving up your seat on a bus, or a busy waiting room, or your place in line. People are always disarmed by your kindness and thoughtfulness. It creates a dynamic of gratitude.

• Help to shape the next generation. Everything you do for children or those younger than you is something you do for the future. Like the famous Fred Rogers, who was so gifted at building self-esteem in children by listening and affirming their uniqueness, you, too, can help children gain confidence and feel more secure in who they are. I have never forgotten the woman who gave me a quarter because I smiled at her while my Mom and I were in the Kroger check-out line. If you want the future world to be kinder, help children become kinder, better people.

In the end it doesn’t matter if your actions are appreciated or even noticed. What matters is that you have overcome your first, critical reaction and replaced it with compassion. You have done the better thing. You have done the right thing.

Bob Mueller is Mission and Stewardship Officer at Hosparus Health.

Read more at www.bobmueller.org.

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