How to Put Love First Discussion Guide

Discussion Guide

How to Use this Guide This discussion guide is designed to be used with a small group and is formatted for weekly meetings, but it can also be used as a reflection space to dive deeper in individual study. Feel free to print it out, type on it as a PDF, or reference it on your phone or computer as share your thoughts out loud or write your responses in a journal.

If you are working through this guide with a group, have each participant follow along with the reading each day on their own, then re-read the accompanying Bible verses out loud together as you share your responses to the discussion questions.

Finish your session by praying for one another and asking God to show you ways in which you can put love first in the upcoming week.

Your Relationship with God: Week 1 Day 1: God Sees You - John 1: 48-49 How does it feel to know that God is not only big and broad and powerful, but also intimate, personal, and near? What would it look like for you to see other people the way God sees you?

Day 2: God Knows You - Romans 5: 7-8 Have you ever been hurt by someone you love? How has that impacted your desire to love others well in the future?

Jesus displayed radical humility and servitude when he washed his disciples’ feet.

What are some ways that you can serve others that may seem radical?

Day 3: God Offers You Salvation - 1 Corinthians 15: 3-4 What comes to mind when you think of things that bring you joy in life? Write down a few.

How does God’s love as demonstrated through the Gospel set an example for how we are called to love others?

Day 4: God is Your Good Father - Romans 8:16 What emotions do you associate with your earthly father or father figure? How does your experience with your father compare to the characteristics of God as your good father?

Reach out to your dad or other father figure and let them know how much they mean to you. If you have a strained relationship, cover it in prayer today. Ask God to redeem your relationship and restore peace in your heart.

Day 5: God Forgives You - Galatians 5:16 Do you find yourself struggling to live out the fruits of the spirit that are listed in Galatians 5:22-23?

Loving Jesus doesn’t mean you suddenly won’t sin anymore. How does the Holy Spirit help direct your thoughts and desires to make you more like Jesus?

Pray for what you are struggling with today and ask God to forgive your sins.

Day 6: God Has Compassion For You - Luke 15:20 Have you been running from God recently or resting in Him?

How has God demonstrated his grace in your life during a time when you were tempted to run from what He was calling you to?

"God, don’t let us run away from You or Your will for us. Help us stay with you."

Day 7: God Delights in You - Zephaniah 4:17 How is your opinion of yourself impacted by the knowledge that God delights in you?

This week’s challenge: start taking God’s Word personally. Take in the reminder that God delights in you: write it down, repeat it to yourself, say it out loud.

Week 1 Notes:

Your Relationship with God: Week 2 Day 8: God Heals You - Jeremiah 30:17 What healing do you need today? Whether it’s for you or someone you dearly love, write out a prayer here.

Day 9: God Calls You to Great Things - 1 Corinthians 7:17 In what ways might God be calling you to point others to Jesus in your everyday life?

Ask God to show you who you can serve today.

Day 10: God's Discipline Leads You to Righteousness - Hebrews 12:11 Take five minutes today to pray and five minutes to read Hebrews chapter 12.

Write down how you feel after spending this intentional time with the Lord.

Day 11: God Adopts You - 2 Corinthians 6:18 Read Galatians 4:4-7 out loud. What do you think it means to be adopted as sons and daughters of God?

How might God be calling you to engage with adoption?

Day 12: God Transforms You - 1 Corinthians 3:18 Today, write out your testimony. As a group, take turns sharing stories. Pray for one another and thank God for his redemption in your lives.

Day 13: God Makes You Secure - 2 Timothy 1:9 Write down a few things or people that you tend to lean on for security. Ask God to help you let go of those things and find your security in Him.

Day 14: God Wants Your Persistence - 1 Timothy 6:11-12 Write down 1 Timothy 4:8 in the space below and try to commit it to memory today. What does it look like to actively persist in your faith?

Week 2 Notes:

"We can feel secure 100 percent of the time when our security comes from Him."

Your Relationship with God: Week 3 Day 15: God Redeems Your Scars - Romans 8:13 What physical or emotional scars are part of your story? Share your response with the group, and pray that God helps you to see your scars the way He does.

Day 16: God Fulfills and Satisfies You - Matthew 5:6 What’s one thing you’re running to for fulfillment instead of running to God? Today, name the thing and lay it down for twenty-four hours.

Day 17: God Speaks to You - Jeremiah 33:3 Write down a time when God showed His faithfulness to you in the past. How does this memory encourage you in the present and as you look towards the future?

Day 18: God Promotes You For His Glory - Matthew 6:33 Write down a few ways that you can intentionally pursue new opportunities to serve the Lord. Share your ideas with the group.

Day 19: God Searches For You - 2 Chronicles 16:9 Who is being ignored or overlooked in your world? Write down a few ways that you can stand up and speak up for the people around you and welcome them in.

Day 20: God Wants You to be Ready - Matthew 25:6 How can you tell if you are spiritually drained? What intentional steps can you take to refill your spiritual cup?

Day 21: God Give You His Word - Ephesians 6:13, 17 Pick a verse of the Bible that encourages you and write it down. Commit it to memory today. Share your verse with the group and how keeping it in your heart strengthens you.

Week 3 Notes:

Your Relationship with God: Week 4 Day 22: God Holds You Steady - James 1:12 What are you stressed or anxious about today? Write out a prayer to ask God for his steadiness to rest over you right now before you see the resolution occur.

Day 23: God Makes You His - Galatians 5:25 What do you think it means to walk in step with the Spirit?

Day 24: God's Treasures Are Eternal - Matthew 6:20 What pursuit, thing, or person holds the majority of your attention in this stage of your life? Is it storing up eternal reward for you?

Day 25: God Gives You His Joy - Nehemiah 8:10 List a few things going on in the world that are troubling you. Pray for God to bring hope to those places, and ask for Him to give you His joy and renew your strength.

Day 26: God Has Great Plans For You - Proverbs 16:9 Do you struggle with “purpose anxiety?” In a separate notebook or out loud with your group, respond to these questions: 1. Which people in your life today do you want to stay invested in?

2. What are you passionate about?

3. What spiritual gifts do you possess?

4. How effectively are you using your gifts to honor God? 5. In ten years, if you were doing anything your heart desired, what would that thing be?

Day 27: God is Growing Something in You - John 15:5 In what ways is God growing you during your current season of life?

Day 28: God Makes You Pure - Genesis 2:16-17 What do you need to lay down today to choose God’s will rather than simply following a set of rules?

Week 4 Notes:

"Thank God for the growth you've seen in your faith."

Your Relationship with God: Week 5 Day 29: God Made You Uniquely You - Genesis 1:27-28 Name some ways that God has made you beautifully unique. What is it that brings out the confidence and joy in you?

Day 30: God is Devoted to You - 1 Chronicles 22:19 What is your time currently devoted to? What needs to change in order for you to be more fully devoted to God?

Reflection on Part 1: Your Relationship With God End this session by taking a few minutes of quiet to reflect on the journey so far.

Practice being present in the moment and meditating on who God is, how great His love for you is, and what He has done to demonstrate that love in your life.

"Our God is always faithful and always attends to us intimately like only He can."

Your Relationship with Your People: Week 6 Day 31: Moving Past Your Past - James 5:16 Is there anyone from your past with whom you need to make amends? Make a plan to reach out to that person and own your piece in the falling out. Ask God to help you forgive and move on.

Day 32: Letting God Fight For You - Exodus 14:14 Who is the person in your life you are most likely to take a “tone” with? Write down some ways you can show humility and love towards that person.

Day 33: Giving and Receiving Help - 2 Timothy 2:2 Who in your life do you need to ask for help or mentorship from? Who in your life are your helping or mentoring? Write down some names, and ask God to help orchestrate those relationships.

Day 34: Winning in Your Relationships - 1 Corinthians 15:57 Have you been keeping score with anyone lately? Do you keep score with God?

What emotions do you feel as you reflect on the victory we have already won through Jesus?

Day 35: Embracing Peace - John 14:27 Do you have peace in your relationships, the kind that comes from God? What relationships could use more of that peace? Are there some relationships you might need to prayerfully exit?

Day 36: Having Patience With whom in your life do you need to practice more patience? Write a prayer to ask God to transform your frustration into patience.

Day 37: Showing Kindness - Ephesians 4:32 Share the story of a time when someone showed you unexpected kindness. How did that kindness impact you?

Write down a few ways that you can go out of your way to show kindness to the people you encounter in day-to-day life.

Week 6 Notes:

Your Relationship with Your People: Week 7 Day 38: Gaining Self-Control - Proverbs 25:28 Identify some of the things or situations that can trigger you to lose your selfcontrol. Discuss with the group some methods for grounding yourself and practicing self-control when triggering situations arise in the future.

Day 39: Experiencing Growth - 1 Peter 3:18 In what ways are you actively striving to grow spiritually that will bless the people around you?

Day 40: Taking Responsibility - Psalm 127:1 Who needs to hear from you today? Take some time to reach out to those people today.

Day 41: Offering Forgiveness - Matthew 18: 21-22 Is there someone you need to forgive today? Is there someone you need to apologize to? Prayerfully ask God to help you. If you are comfortable, share your story with the group.

Day 42: Living Fearlessly - 1 Timothy 1:7 Is fear or faith ruling your relationships? Spend some time journaling about what you think you might be doing out of faith and what you might be doing out of fear. Share your thoughts with the group.

Day 43: Being Consistent - 1 Corinthians 15:58 How well are you upholding the value of consistency in the relationships that matter most to you? Do your family members and intimate friends know they can count on you? Do you believe you can be counted on?

Day 44: Taking Initiative - Romans 12:6-8 What is it you’re waiting for right now? Write down ways that you can take the initiative to make that happen.

Week 7 Notes:

"What is it that you keep wishing someone else would do?"

Your Relationship with Your People: Week 8 Day 45: Being Aware - Luck 24: 15-16 Write a list of the people in your innermost circle. Pray for awareness of their needs and circumstances, and reach out to one of them today in a tangible way that lets them know you really see them.

Day 46: Loving with Authenticity - Romans 12:9 Are you holding someone at arm’s length today? Is your heart open and healthy, or even too open?

What step can you take today to move in a healthy direction?

Day 47: Relying Joyfully on One Another - 1 Corinthians 12:17 Is it typically easy or difficult for you to rely on other people? Who in your life is a blessing to you because of how they differ from you?

Day 48: Identifying Our Blind Spots - Psalm 66:10-12 Have you ever had a friend or family member tell you about a “blind spot” in your attitude or perspective? If not, seek out someone you trust this week and ask them to share some things in your life that you might be missing.

Day 49: Being Accountable - Proverbs 27:17 Think about the friends you have in your life right now. Are you truly accountable to any one of them? If not, write down the names of who you might trust enough to develop that kind of friendship.

Day 50: Speaking Love - Proverbs 16:24 Are the words you speak to others often sweet like honey? If you find yourself prone to anger, impatience, or complaining, ask God to help you to be slow to anger and quick to respond to others with love.

Day 51: Celebrating Those You Love: Romans 12:15 Who or what in your life can you celebrate this week? Make a plan to rejoice with those in your life who have reason to rejoice.

Week 8 Notes:

Your Relationship with Your People: Week 9 Day 52: Being Faithful - Hebrews 2:1 What safeguards can you put in your life to help you be faithful and keep your eyes on God?

Day 53: Asking for God's Help - Matthew 7:7-8 What person close to you could really use your help right now? Write down a few ways that you can show love towards them and help carry their burdens.

Day 54: Speaking Life - Isaiah 1:18 Share about a time in your life when someone spoke truth to you. How did that moment impact you?

This week, offer some encouraging words to someone you are close with.

Day 55: Hanging Out on Purpose - Ephesians 5:15-16 Think about the five people in your life who you are the closest with. Write down a few things that you are learning as you hang out with them. Who are you becoming in light of those relationships?

Day 56: Sticking Together - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 What emotions do you go to when you are under stress? How might your close relationships be impacted by your stress response?

Day 57: Guarding Your Heart - Luke 6:45 How are the things you regularly consume (music, media, television, etc.) shaping the words you speak and what you pour out into your relationships?

Day 58: Calling Yourself Out - James 4:17 Spend some time identifying some of the triggers that tempt you to go against your convictions. Write them down below, and ask God to help steer you towards life-giving things.

Week 9 Notes:

Your Relationship with Your People: Week 10 Day 59: Being Real - Proverbs 12:22 How would you have responded if you were in the room with Mary and the disciples when Mary chose to wash Jesus’ feet with the expensive oil?

Pray for God to help you identify where you may need to get real and humble yourself in how you portray your spirituality to others.

Day 60: Knowing Love Grows - Proverbs 4:23 What are some fears you have that are holding you back from letting love multiply? Write them down and give them to God today.

Reflection on Part 2: Your Relationship with Your People Take some time to pause and reflect on your relationships with friends and family. Write down the names of a few people and list some ways that you can actively practice loving them well.

"A relationship only needs one person to initiate change."

Your Relationship with Your Community: Week 11 Day 61: Being in Alignment with God - Genesis 1:27 How does seeing the people around you as people made in the image of God impact your attitude towards them?

Day 62: Be Compelled - Matthew 16:24 Has God ever compelled you to serve or give sacrificially?

Ask God to open your eyes and reveal opportunities to give sacrificially to others.

Day 63: Be Curious - Philippians 2:4 Write down a few questions that you can have on hand to engage with the people you come in contact with during your days.

Day 64: Be Compassionate - 1 Peter 3:8 Write out a prayer to ask God to help you show compassion instead of anger the next time you are inconvenienced.

"What if we approached every situation from a place of compassion first?"

Day 65: Be Intentional - Romans 12:10 Write down the names of five or six people you are close with. Underneath each name, list a few things that those people love to do. If you haven’t already, take five minutes of your group session to text those friends and schedule “dates” with them.

Day 66: Be Fruitful - 2 Timothy 2:15 What can you do today to bring life and abundance to your relationships and your community?

Day 67: Be Empowered - 1 John 4:4 Where is a place you feel led to be a light, even if it might be uncomfortable?

Week 11 Notes:

Your Relationship with Your Community: Week 12 Day 68: Be Gentle - Matthew 11:28-29 Think about the legacy that you want to leave. What is it that you want others to remember about your life?

Day 69: Be Welcoming - Romans 15:7 Do you live your life with eyes open for opportunities to welcome a stranger or connect with someone you’ve just met? Write down a few ways that you can show love in these unpredictable and spontaneous moments.

Day 70: Be Enthusiastic - 1 Peter 3:13 Get creative and write down some ways that you can level up the atmosphere of the rooms you walk into each day, whether it’s at home, school, work, or church.

Day 71: Be Optimistic - Proverbs 15:15 Who in your life needs to hear that things are going to get better? How can you actively make it better for them?

Write down a few words of hope that you can send the people in your life who need it.

Day 72: Be Loving - Matthew 22:37-39 What could you start doing to love others and attract them to Jesus?

What do you need to stop doing that could be stirring up strife or repelling people from Jesus?

Day 73: Be Teachable - Psalm 32:8-9 In what area of your life could you stand to be more teachable? Ask God for humility and to show you opportunities to learn from others this week.

Day 74: Be Prepared - Matthew 16:27-28 What does it mean to be spiritually prepared for the day that you see Jesus?

Week 12 Notes:

Your Relationship with Your Community: Week 13 Day 75: Be Influential - Matthew 5:14-16 Take a few minutes to evaluate who you are following on social media and unfollow accounts that are fostering negative thought patterns. Write out a few positive characteristics that you plan to look for in new accounts that you follow in the future.

Day 76: Be Honest - Ephesians 4:15 Which category do you most often fall into when it comes to honesty: brutally honest, silent without the truth, or blatantly dishonest?

Ask God to free you to speak both truth and love in a way that honors Him.

Day 77: Be Healthy - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 How are you balancing caring for your body with caring for your relationships? If either one is consuming the other, write down some ways you can readjust your routines to allow for both health and socializing.

Day 78: Be Approachable - Matthew 19:14 How can you serve a young family or group of children in your life? Consider families at your church, neighbors, and friends.

Day 79: Be Fun-Loving - Proverbs 17:22 Write down a few ideas of fun things you can plan to do with your community in the next few weeks.

Day 80: Be Reflective - 1 John 1:9 Prayerfully observe yourself today. Are your expressions, tones, and body language reflecting Jesus? What might need to change?

Day 81: Be Persuaded - Luke 9:23 Where do you struggle most with stubbornness or your own particular preferences?

What would it look like for you to release your grasp on a personal preference?

Week 13 Notes:

Your Relationship with Your Community: Week 14 Day 82: Be Prayerful - Psalm 91:4 What burdens are you carrying today that you need to lay down before God?

Write out a prayer asking God to lift whatever has been hanging over you lately.

Day 83: Be Bold - Romans 1:16 How did you first come to know Jesus? Write it down and share it with the group, or with a friend or family member this week.

"Boldly tell others about what Jesus has done for you."

Day 84: Be a Helper - Galatians 6:9-10 When has someone gone out of their way or inconvenienced themselves to help you in a time of need?

What would it look like for you to remove your blinders and recognize the needs of others?

Day 85: Be Thoughtful - Romans 14:13 What assumptions or fears might be holding you back from being thoughtful in your relationships with others?

Day 86: Be Kind - Exodus 23:2 Do you ever find yourself behaving differently in groups than you would by yourself? Write out a prayer asking God to help identify those situations where you may need to set yourself apart in order to show kindness.

Day 87: Be a Learner - 1 Peter 5:5 Who in your family, community, or workplace can you learn from? Make a plan to ask them to help you gain understanding in their areas of expertise.

Day 88: Be Peaceful - 1 Peter 3:11 Jot down your ideal morning routine for a peaceful day. What small habit can you change in your current routine to allow you to spend time with God when you wake up?

Week 14 Notes:

Your Relationship with Your Community: Week 15 Day 89: Be Trusting - Luke 5:4 What areas of your life do you need to let Jesus into?

Say a prayer of thanks today for how Jesus has provided for you.

Day 90: Be Loving - 1 John 4:7 If you are in the middle of a relationship conflict, set aside some time to pray and use a journal to draft a letter to that person.

Even if you are not in a season of conflict, write a letter to someone you care about and tell them what they mean to you and how thankful you are for them today.

Reflection on Part 3: Your Relationship with Your Community Take some time to pause and reflect on the last 30 days of challenging yourself in your relationships. How have you seen differences in how you show love to others?

Week 15 Notes:

"Let God in - fully in.

When He comes, love comes too."