Hope and a Future Magazine Edition 2

"OUR LIVES HAVE TOTALLY TURNED AROUND"

One family's inspiring journey of faith

FAITH AGAINST THE ODDS

From a life of chaos to a life of hope: Danny's remarkable story

RACHEL GARDNER

Why, more than ever, it's important to raise esteem in young people

A MESSAGE FROM THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE

welcome

Looking up at the towering rock face, it was no surprise that some of the young people were terrified.

I recently joined some of our young people on a TLG Faith Residential in the stunning scenery of North Wales. Together we accomplished intrepid outdoor activities, considered the big questions of life and, for some, enjoyed their first ever holiday.

The theme of the trip was “perfect love drives out all fear”. It was therefore moving to see the young people overcome their fears throughout the residential. That rock face that had seemed so frightening was conquered by young person after young person, discovering confidence they never knew they had.

Day in day out across TLG, you’ll find children and young people uncovering the confidence within them. And how? Through the exceptional love and support from local church teams.

That’s why I love the story of Ruby and her mum Emma. You can read it on page 8. Through the support of TLG and their local church, Ruby found the confidence to face senior school while Emma found a life-changing faith.

I’m so pleased to be able to welcome our friend Rachel Gardner as this edition’s guest contributor on page 6. Rachel is a youth worker and founder of Romance Academy, an incredible organisation helping young people to make positive choices around sex and relationships. She tells us about the ever challenging culture young people are up against and, more than ever, the importance of helping to raise their esteem.

As always, I’m humbled by your faithful giving, prayer and support. Because of you, TLG is and always will provide the love and support that brings confidence to so many struggling children and their families.

Tim Morfin TLG Chief Executive

Photography by Becky Joy Gorman

faith against the odds

Drawn into crime, excluded from school and a challenging childhood. Statistically, Danny was on course for a life lacking hope. Things have panned out dramatically differently and years after he’s thankful for the life-changing impact TLG had on his life.

“Growing up wasn’t easy. I was raised in a difficult area and in a home defined by domestic abuse. My father used to knock me and my siblings around. My mum worked hard to protect us and love us, but she was often working and my dad would be the one mostly at home. He took out his stress on us and we didn’t know what to do.

We reached a point where my mum had to move us away to a new city. I knew she had to but I didn’t like it. I felt isolated and like I didn’t fit in. I guess I wanted to impress people and that’s how

I got in with the wrong crowd. I would do things to try and make people laugh and I don’t mean positive things.

The things that had been going on at home fuelled my temper and my attitude. I did what I wanted. I was defensive, argumentative and I’d fight with a lot of people. My future was held hostage by the need to be wanted and liked by people around me.

My pain was rooted so deep that I found myself involved in crime –violence, stealing and selling drugs.

DANNY AT TLG BRADFORD, IN 2007

88% OF BOYS IN YOUNG OFFENDERS INSTITUTES HAVE BEEN PREVIOUSLY EXCLUDED FROM SCHOOL.

- HM Chief Inspector of Prisons for England & Wales Annual Report, 2015-2016

Sometimes I would even get locked up and put away in the cells for stuff I'd done. It was unhealthy and it hurt my family. My mum and my sister were looking at me and thinking, ‘what’s going on with you Danny?’

And school? It was chaos. My behaviour had become so challenging that I was excluded and found myself at a TLG Education Centre.

When I first came to TLG, I didn’t want to be helped. I wanted to deal with things myself and when people supported me I felt weak. I didn’t want people to try to know what was going on in my life.

But the staff at TLG really tried to understand what I’d been through. TLG is like a family. There is a genuine care with TLG. They really, honestly wanted to help. I gradually began to trust them and became open to the help I was receiving. They really were persistent and they helped take me to where I needed to be in life. Being at TLG helped me to think that there was something more to life than trying to impress people, that I could be positive, that I could put things right. I thought, ‘look I’m gonna make a change here.’ I realised it was down to me – no one else.

THE STAFF AT TLG REALLY TRIED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I’D BEEN THROUGH.

TLG IS LIKE A FAMILY. THERE IS A GENUINE CARE WITH TLG. THEY REALLY, HONESTLY WANTED TO HELP

I knew that I wanted to achieve something with my life from that point. It was difficult, yeah, but I worked hard to return to mainstream school and achieve my GCSEs. I’d always been interested in business and so took a course at college. I knew I wanted to take things further. So I applied and went to university on a two year fast-track business degree. It was different there because I was surrounded by people who wanted to do well. It’s helped me on my current career path too. I work for a property investment company. I love being able to find people a house. I feel like I’m giving something back!

I’ve always known Christians in my life and TLG was no exception. The staff I was surrounded by at TLG were different from anywhere I’d been to school before. They were helping kids like me, not for their own gain, but for God.

It was in 2015 that I got baptised. I decided that I wanted to take a step into God’s world. What I’d seen through the staff at TLG and other Christians I’d met along the way was really making sense to me. I realised that God has a purpose in my life. Getting baptised, it was as if the burden had just been thrown away. I literally felt free because in Christ chains are broken.

I just can’t wait for the future to see what God has in store for my life. Whenever something great happens in my life I’m able to look to one person and that’s God.”

Share Danny's video in your church or with friends. Visit tlg.org.uk/danny

In an age of online pressures, celebrity culture and lad points, it’s more challenging than ever for young people to be confident and secure in who they were made to be. Rachel Gardner, founder of Romance Academy, shares why we must try harder to raise esteem in young people.

his afternoon I gave a bunch of girls some plain white t-shirts and the challenge of covering them with words that young people use to abuse each other with.

‘You really want us to go there?’ one girl asked, eyebrow raised.

‘Yep.’ I replied.

‘Ok’, she shrugged, and proceeded to write word after word of things people have said to her. All hurtful. All lies. All sadly a part of the daily experience of so many children and young people.

Where home once provided some relief from the relentless bullying of the school corridor, the online world means that the harassment never stops. Whether it’s comments of ‘you’re ugly’ or people

ganging up on you because you don’t wear the right gear, many young people feel oppressed by the constant barrage of comparisons and judging from peers and strangers.

I am a huge fan of advances in technology, and we didn’t need the invention of social media to tell us that hurt people hurt people. But if you wanted to ensure that a whole generation would come to believe that they’re not good enough, sexy enough, popular, clever, funny or significant enough, you’d invent internet technology. With the capacity for being hooked up and plugged in 24/7 it’s the perfect delivery system for the messages and beliefs that erode self-esteem.

We now have a generation of young people who are unsure, not just of who they’re supposed to be and what they can do, but whether they are worthy of love.

The Prince’s Trust Macquarie Youth Index (Jan 2017) reveals how many young people feel trapped by their circumstances, with over half (61%) feeling that a lack of self-confidence holds them back. Worryingly 12% of young people claim they don’t know anyone who really cares about them.

Self-esteem is hard to calculate, but vital to pay attention to. Young people with low self-esteem struggle to see their own value or believe that they have anything of worth to offer the world around them. They get stuck in victim mentality, fear the uncertainty of their future and struggle to trust or take positive risks for fear of being ridiculed or rejected.

These are the young people TLG exist for. These are the young people whose lives take on a new direction because people who work for, support and pray for TLG have this relentless and unstoppable desire to call out of children and young people their intrinsic worth and limitless potential.

After covering the T-shirts with the labels of lies, I asked the girls what they thought the impact of these words on young people are.

‘Nothing.’ said one.

‘Makes young people feel nothing, or feel like they’re nothing?’ I asked.

‘Feel like we’re nothing.’ one girl admitted, before adding, ‘And I suppose it works, because that’s why we’re talking about this. But I know they’re not true. I know that because I come here.’

I was struck by her use of that word; here

As we kept on talking it became clear that for these young people, here is the youth centre where the lies could be interrupted; here are the safe and trustworthy people who really ‘see’ and then reflect back to them an image of themselves that they don’t glimpse in too many other places.

If only every child and young person in the UK could have access to the places and people who could

help them begin to discover their God-given, intrinsic worth and grow their self-esteem. Because a young person with a growing self-esteem begins to believe they have value and learns to trust that they might just have something to offer the world. They develop the ability to say no and develop the resilience that enables them to learn from their mistakes. They realise they have skills they can hone, dreams they can nurture, and an incredible capacity to love others and be generous in how they live their one, wild, precious life.

IF ONLY EVERY CHILD & YOUNG PERSON IN THE UK COULD HAVE ACCESS TO THE PLACES & PEOPLE WHO COULD HELP THEM BEGIN TO DISCOVER THEIR GODGIVEN, INTRINSIC WORTH & GROW THEIR SELF-ESTEEM

Years of working with young people has shown me that good self-esteem begins with God-esteem; the ability to see ourselves as God sees us. There’s such a profound security that comes from knowing we are created with value and potential by a God who knows us and is near to us.

Whether our young people share our faith or not, helping them see themselves as they truly are is one of the greatest callings any of us can know. This is why I will never stop raising self-esteem in young people, and why I’m one of TLG’s greatest fans.

Rachel is a youth worker, founder of the Romance Academy, the President of the Girls’ Brigade and Relationship Lead at Youthscape. Bestselling author of a number of books for teens and young adults, Rachel is a keen campaigner on youth related issues. She’s married to Jason and they are raising their daughter and living for Jesus in North London.

When Emma’s daughter Ruby was struggling in school and was offered a TLG Early Intervention coach, little did they know it would start them on an exciting journey of faith and healing.

“I’ve always known Ruby was different. I’ve always wanted her to know how special she is and that’s what I tell her.

Because of Ruby’s Asperger’s, she didn’t find school the easiest of places. Loud noises in assembly would totally freak her out so she would have to be warned when things were about to get loud. During the school day she would lock all of her emotions inside. If anything didn’t meet her routine she’d have a huge emotional outburst. She’d be crying all the way home. It would be like the whole world had ended!

It wasn’t just school time either. I remember one time in the summer and we’d decided to take a family day trip to Whitby. We’d had such a lovely day on the beach but then it came to the time when we had to go

home. Ruby was screaming and screaming. She just could not accept that we had to leave.

It was hard on me and it was hard on Ruby.

As Ruby’s time at primary school began to draw to a close, I was apprehensive. How would she cope at secondary school? New faces, busy corridors, dozens of teachers, not to mention how huge it was compared to the school she was in. It was clear that Ruby was beginning to worry too.

That’s when Jo came along. Jo was Ruby’s Early Intervention coach from one of the churches in Bradford. She helped Ruby, whose confidence had hit a real low, to feel ready for the challenges ahead. During their weekly sessions, they’d chat about how Ruby was

feeling. Jo built her up and reminded her how special she is. Together they visited her secondary school, at busy times and quiet times. They met the staff together and helped Ruby to become familiar with the school. I’m certain that without Jo, Ruby wouldn’t have got on as well at secondary school as she has. She’s even been made a prefect already!

Jo – she’s an angel. With her, our lives have totally turned around. We were invited by Jo on a TLG Family Adventure Weekend. That weekend changed my life. I lost my mum three years ago to cancer and she was my best friend. It led to me suffering from depression and anxiety. But on the TLG weekend away, I found God. I knew I needed something that was missing and I’d been searching to fill the gap in my life after my mum had died.

I came away from the weekend so much happier. We’re part of a church now too – the same one as Jo. Because of my depression the doctors wanted to give me anti-depressants and that’s not the road that I wanted to go down. But going to church has helped me more than any anti-depressant or bereavement counselling could do; now I know God’s got a plan for all of us and that God loves us.”

GOING TO CHURCH HAS HELPED ME MORE THAN ANY ANTI-DEPRESSANT OR BEREAVEMENT COUNSELLING COULD DO; NOW I KNOW GOD’S GOT A PLAN FOR ALL OF US AND THAT GOD LOVES US

Watch Ruby’s moving story in her own words: tlg.org.uk/ruby

DID YOU KNOW? Over 400 of you have trained as TLG Early Intervention coaches in the last 18 months!

RUBY, HER MUM EMMA AND BROTHER HARRY

The beating heart of TLG

More than ever, TLG exists because of volunteers. Ordinary faith-filled people just like you making an extraordinary impact with their time. We caught up with two volunteers to discover what they love about their time with TLG.

Julieanne

TLG EARLY INTERVENTION VOLUNTEER

Hello, nice to meet you! Please introduce yourself...

My name’s Julieanne Medway and I’m from Holy Trinity Weston in Southampton.

So you volunteer with TLG. What kind of volunteering do you do and how long have you been doing that for?

I’m a volunteer Early Intervention coach. I first started in about 2012 when we lived in London. My

husband’s a vicar and when we moved to Southampton we knew we wanted to continue the TLG programme so began a new Early Intervention team in Southampton!

Can you set the scene for us? What does volunteering as an Early Intervention coach look like?

Ok, well on a coaching day, I go into the local school and get the child from class. Often, when I get there, I’ll find lots of the other kids saying, “can I come too?!” Then we do activities together and build a relationship. As you build that relationship, you find the children will be honest and open with you. Every child I’ve coached has valued that time.

What made you want to start volunteering?

My husband and I have a heart for families and children in crisis. However it was making connections with families or children that might not yet be in crisis that drew us in. Early Intervention is about getting involved in the community as early

as possible. As soon as I heard about it I thought ‘yes!’

What’s your favourite thing about volunteering?

There’s such a huge impact in such a small way. For me it’s about building relationships with a family you might not otherwise meet.

What impact has volunteering had on your faith?

It’s reminded me to just step out in faith and God will honour that 100 times more. He’s always great like that.

If somebody were considering volunteering as a coach, what would you say to them?

If God’s placing it on your heart, don’t consider it, just do it. Schools absolutely love it. Plus, our volunteer coaches meet regularly. We pray together; we share it. We’ve become a little community within our church.

Hi! In true 90s game show style, what’s your name and where do you come from?

My name is Sarah and I live in Brixton.

What made you want to start volunteering?

I believe in young people. My son was killed in a knife attack in 2010.

Since then I have been working with young people to try and help them find a different path away

from knives and crime. When I heard about TLG Lewisham I knew I wanted to be part of it. I believe God has put a call on me to serve the students and help them to become the best they can be.

Where do you volunteer for TLG and how long have you been doing that for?

I've been volunteeting at the TLG Education Centre at Ecclesia church in Lewisham, since November last year.

What does a typical day of volunteering look like for you?

If there is such a thing as a typical day!

I try to encourage the students and look after them. I support them in their learning too.

What makes you get out of bed on a volunteering day?

Watching the young people grow and seeing their faces when they achieve.

If somebody were considering volunteering at TLG, what would you say to them?

Please go for it! They need more of us who care and want to be around them. They need to know they are loved and that somebody cares if they succeed.

Do you belong to a local church? Do you want to see children given hope and a future?

One church every week is signing up as a TLG Early Intervention partner

For your church to begin an exciting journey transforming lives in your community, why not run an Early Intervention programme with TLG?

Visit www.tlg.org.uk/early-intervention or call 01274 900377 to speak to our Partnerships team

“No one makes fun of me any more”

Photography by Ray Smith

aving the confidence to express how we’re feeling may come easily to many of us. But for Ethan, from Scotland, having Curtis as his coach has helped him to be secure in who he is and channel his frustrations calmly.

“When I first met Ethan, he was finding a lot of things difficult. He was shy. He got frustrated a lot. He was in and out of school, seldom completing five consecutive days,” shares Curtis, his TLG Early Intervention Coach from a local church in Scotland.

“I kept getting in trouble for hurting people,” Ethan says. “I’d say I was being a bully and getting mad easily. But when Curtis came it stopped. I’ve been talking about my problems with him and it really helped me.”

“Throughout the time we met together,” Curtis continues, “slowly things started to change. He’d begin to complete all five days in school and he’d spend less time in the head teacher’s office.”

Curtis’ support has helped Ethan to be confident and resilient whatever he might find himself up against. “Instead of getting mad easily, I learnt to walk away instead of hurting them back,” says Ethan.

Throughout their time together, Curtis was able to offer practical advice to Ethan.

“We worked through his personal struggles together, discussing coping mechanisms to help Ethan respond to his anger in positive ways, for instance. Whether it was doing ten push ups or counting to ten on his fingers, we talked about how Ethan could just take a few breaths to calm himself down. Credit to Ethan, he’s worked hard to put those things in place.”

More than just meeting together to build Ethan’s resilience, they’ve also both really enjoyed their weekly hour together.

“Curtis is fun and he helps a lot of people,” says Ethan. “We played games, like Countdown, in our coaching sessions and I had loads of fun.”

“I look at my life,” Curtis reflects, “and I think how great it would be for me to have a coach like Ethan has - even now. I can see huge benefits to having somebody there regularly to talk to and be supported by. I’ve seen a massive change in Ethan from the start, absolutely.”

And for Ethan – the best part of it all?

“No one makes fun of me anymore”

Find out more about TLG Early Intervention: tlg.org.uk/early-intervention

ETHAN AND HIS COACH, CURTIS

pray with us

EXPLORING FAITH

Thank you for standing with us in prayer. Join us over the next few months as we pray for these things in particular:

PROTECTION FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

We’re hearing from our education centre managers about young people they’re supporting who are being groomed into joining gangs. Pray that our team would be able to offer them safety and a more hopeful vision for their futures.

SAFETY ONLINE

Recent research has revealed that the more time children spend chatting on social networks the less happy they feel. Pray for children in a fastdeveloping world; that they wouldn’t be troubled by the weight of comparison and would manage their online life responsibly.

During the holidays, some of our young people will be attending summer camps that offer an opportunity to explore and question what role God might play in their lives. Pray for a fun and exciting trip but also for the young people to make significant steps on their own personal journey of faith.

CONFIDENCE

Finally, pray that every child would be confident in who they were made to be. Pray that the hurdles in their lives would not seem insurmountable and that they know the constant love and support from caring adults around them, cheering them on.

Read all about it!

Be inspired & claim your FREE copy of ‘Out of the Ordinary: The TLG Story’ written by TLG’s founder, Tim Morfin. Visit tlg.org.uk/tlg-book to order yours today!

"This beautiful little book is a must-read - just the sort of stuff that the best God adventures are made of.”

- ANDY HAWTHORNE OBE, Founder and CEO of The Message Trust

BECOME A

hope giver

Will you transform lives today and join hundreds of others by becoming a Hope Giver? A few pounds each month makes all the difference for a young person struggling to discover who they are. Please return your form to: TLG National Support Centre, Hope Park, Bradford, BD5 8HH

Title: First name:

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Please claim gift aid on my donations to TLG today, in the past 4 years and in the future.

I confirm I have paid or will pay an amount of Income Tax and/or Capital Gains Tax for each tax year (6 April to 5 April) that is at least equal to the amount of tax that all the charities of Community Amateur Sports Clubs (CASCs) that I donate to will reclaim on my gifts for that tax year. I understand that other taxes such as VAT and Council Tax do not qualify. I understand TLG will reclaim 28p of tax on every £1 that I gave up to 5 April 2008 and will reclaim 25p of tax on every £1 that I give on or after 6 April 2008. Please notify TLG if your name, address or eligibility for Gift Aid change.

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