Turning 75: ‘I Only Want to Love’, By Barry and Joyce Vissell

FEATURED COLUMNIST Turning 75: ‘I Only Want to Love’

By Barry and Joyce Vissell

In May, both Joyce and I turned 75. May 18 for Joyce, and May 27 for me. Three quarters of a century! It’s a milestone for sure.

When I was younger, 75 years old seemed ancient. The house-mother in Joyce’s dormitory at Hartwick College, when we were 18, seemed ancient. And she might have been a bit younger than us right now. One of her jobs was to vigilantly watch the young couples returning from their dates by the 10 p.m. curfew, to make sure all was appropriate in the little lobby, and nothing more than kissing was happening. It was under her watchful eyes that Joyce and I had our first kiss, a kiss that truly blew our minds.

They say you are only as old as you think. In some ways, Joyce and I are still those 18-year-olds, discovering new ways to love, learning the lessons this world will teach us. If we remain open to learning and discovering, we remain youthful. And yes, the reverse is also true. We become old when we stop wondering at the world, or learning new things.

Last week, as part of our birthday gift to ourselves, we were in Yosemite National Park, truly one of the most beautiful places on this earth. We biked throughout the valley, stopping to take in the sheer rock walls, the waterfalls in their spring fullness, the dogwoods in full bloom, all the majestic trees, my favorite the majestic Yellow Pines (Ponderosa Pines), over two hundred feet high.

We explored the banks and beaches of the Merced River and Tenaya Creek, finding our own little power spots to rest, or dip for a moment in the frigid water. As long as we touched upon that magic state of wonder, we remained young. It’s a moment-by-moment decision. You can choose at any time to enter the state of wonder, and that is a youthful moment.

I will not deny my vulnerability about aging. Sometimes I feel truly scared at what these next few decades may bring, and what I will physically or mentally lose. Year by year, I have watched my body slowly lose abilities. I can no longer run. Softball, a real passion of mine, is a thing of the past. I can’t carry heavy loads anymore. At the local hardware store, I need to ask someone to help lift the bags of cement into my truck. But hey, asking for help is a much-needed skill at any age.

Many of you know about my passion for the out-of-doors, especially river trips and backpacking. I realize my fear of the window closing on these kinds of activities sometimes has me scrambling to do as much of these things as I can, before I am forced to let go of them. Joyce loves nature just as much as I do. It’s just that she is more at peace staying home on our beautiful property. But she gives me her blessing to go off a couple of extra times a year on my solo adventures.

Then there’s our two grandsons, 10-year-old Skye and 4-year-old Owen. I have had to accept my physical limitations more and more. I’ve gone from actor to director; from rolling around with them on the living room floor, to sitting on the couch challenging them with new games or routines. I not only come away with less bruises, but it is still a lot of fun. Everyone has a great time, even with Grandpa on the couch.

I love tennis, but have had to quit playing with my more competitive (and younger) friends. Now I can still enjoy tennis, but it’s a special kind of tennis, with my friend, Charlie Bloom. We call it “Old Farts Tennis.” We have strict rules. First, there is no keeping score, except we often call out our favorite score, “lovelove.” Then, the object of the game is to enjoy hitting the ball, no matter where it ends up going.

If we hit the ball back to each other, great! If the ball is not hit right to us, and we have to move fast to get to the ball, we get cheered by the other for letting the ball fly by, rather than make some heroic effort, which may end up getting us hurt. And if one of us makes an amazing play, like a really great serve or return, everything stops for a proper celebration! It’s another “wonder” moment.

Not long ago, I asked myself what I most wanted in this life. The answer came in the form of a song, which someday I hope to record for you all. Here are the words:

I only want to love, and feel my open heart. Of all the things I do, this is the highest art. There’s always more to do. The world won’t stop for me. But I can stop and feel what I most want. I only want to love, and see beauty everywhere. The joy it gives to me is far beyond compare. I want to see the light That dances in your eyes. I want to hear the song of your heart.

This is all I want, just to love. It’s what makes me happiest. Loving my beloved Joyce makes my heart sing. Loving our children and grandchildren fills me up. Loving the divine helpers, the angels and great ones, fills me with gratitude.

Then there’s the retreats we lead, even on Zoom throughout the pandemic. I long for those magic moments, often introduced by someone’s vulnerability, and the whole group feels that welling up of goodness, where breathing is a pleasure, and love becomes a tangible thing, a noun and a verb, a feeling and a doing, two things joined together in one.

And then I know, I can love for all the days of my life! n

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Join Barry and Joyce Vissell in their first in-person event in 16 months: Summer Couples Retreat, June 24-27.

A Free Gift for You

We would love to give you a free gift, our new audio album of sacred songs and chants, available for download at SharedHeart.org, or to listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=ZGml4FDMDyI&feature= youtu.be

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Joyce & Barry Vissell, a nurse/therapist and psychiatrist couple since 1964, are counselors near Santa Cruz, CA, who are passionate about conscious relationship and personal-spiritual growth. They are the authors of 9 books and a new free audio album of sacred songs and chants. Call 831-684-2130 for further information on counseling sessions by phone, on-line, or in person, their books, recordings or their schedule of talks and workshops. Visit their web site at SharedHeart.org

“Con: Rail & Trail” from page 22

“Building Greenway would be a huge benefit for alternative, safe transportation in our county,” he said. “You could quickly and safely get across town--choosing a bike would far outweigh sitting in traffic. Currently, cutting through town is a zigzag of roads and mixed bike lanes. It’s dangerous and not friendly for kids. I really hope one day I’m able to hop on a bike with my family and use this path.”

The list of surfers and oceanminded watermen and waterwomen are the vanguard of rising support for Santa Cruz County Greenway.

Unite with them in their support for the creation of an environmentally friendly, affordable and safe Greenway, which will be used for transportation and recreational purposes for generations to come. Interested community members can learn more at https:// sccgreenway.org/endorsers and add their name to the Greenway petition that already has more than 10,000 signatures. n

FREE FAMILY MOVIE NIGHTS Brought to you by Santa Cruz County Department of Parks, Open Space & Cultural Services. Register at scparks.com. Movies begin at dusk. Bring blankets, jackets and low-back chairs.

Dates and Locations: June 25: The Perfect Game, Pinto Lake County Park, 757 Green Valley Road, Watsonville. July 9: Finding Nemo, Anna Jean Cummings Park, 461 Soquel San Jose Road, Soquel. And bring your dog! July 23: Onward, Highlands County Park, 8500 Hwy 9, Ben Lomond.

GILROY GARLIC FESTIVAL PLANS FOR DRIVE-THRU EVENT Friday thru Sunday, July 23-25 and July 30-Aug. 1 Gilroy Presbyterian Church, 6000 Miller Ave., Gilroy The Gilroy Garlic Festival Association announced the planned details for its 2021 activities.

The first plan is for a drive-thru Gourmet Alley, Fri. thru Sun., the weekends of July 23 and 30, at Gilroy Presbyterian Church.

The Festival is working closely with the Santa Clara County Health Department to get approval for

the Gourmet Alley Drive-Thru. Currently, the health department is still not reviewing and/ or approving permits for temporary events. It is hoped that by July, the health department will allow this activity. Menu and times will be announced.

Other planned events include:

Farm-to-Table Dinner: Fortino’s Winery, 4525 Hecker Pass Highway on Saturday, July 24.

Garlic Festival Golf Classic: Friday, July 30, at Gilroy Golf Course, 9402, 2695 Hecker Pass Road.

“We have all been confronted with so many changes due to COVID-19, said Tom Cline, president of the Gilroy Garlic Festival Association. “There is a great community desire to see the Festival come back. Together, we can work to reimagine a Gilroy Garlic Festival that will promote and honor everything that makes Gilroy truly the Garlic Capital of the World.” Stay tuned for more details.

LITERACY PROGRAM SEEKS VOLUNTEERS Nearly every day someone reaches out to the Literacy Program, part of the Volunteer Center of Santa Cruz County, to ask about learning English. Some want to get a job, advance their career, or to be able to talk with their child’s teacher. The Literacy Program aims to connect these motivated adults with a volunteer tutor.

Tutors impart more than English. They provide a wealth of information about how life works in Santa Cruz County. They may assist students in gaining the basic skills to go shopping, engage socially, navigate the local landscape, or they may provide insight about work norms. And tutors provide basic training for students to further their education and to obtain citizenship. Training is offered four times a year. There is a one-time $50 materials fee. To volunteer, call 427-5077. Then participate in a one-hour online orientation: https://scvolunteercenter.org/ programs/literacy-program/volunteer/

HEART OF THE CACTUS On Display Thru Aug. 1, viewing by appointment at Pajaro Valley Arts Center, 37 Sudden St., Watsonville Opening Reception: Sunday June 27, 2-4 p.m. Pencas del Corazón/Heart of the Cactus — community artwork created in a series of virtual pop-up events guided by local visual and performing artists and curators — is on display at Pajaro Valley Arts Center

Have a virtual or live event you want to promote? Send your information to info@cyber-times.com by June 25

beginning June 16 through Aug. 1, with galley hours Friday-Sunday by appointment.

Pencas del Corazón is a tribute to the culturally significant cactus plant that symbolizes resilience and sustenance for many Latinx cultures.

An inaugural Rydell Visual Arts Partnership awardee, Pencas del Corazón celebrates the culmination of a year-long project between lead artists, Yesenia Molina and Irene Juárez O’Connell, the Watsonville community, and Arts Council Santa Cruz County. Contributors include: Guillermo Aranda, Janet Johns, Salvador Lua, Gabriel Medina and Mayra Ruiz-Valtiera. https://pvarts.org/pencas-del-corazon-heart-of-the-cactus/

PVUSD SUMMER MEAL PICKUP The PVUSD Food and Nutrition Services Department offers 5-day meal pick-up for PVUSD families between June 15 and July 8 at six schools:

Thursdays: 7 - 8:30 a.m.

Aptos Junior High • Calabasas •

E.A. Hall • Hall District • Pajaro Middle • Rolling Hills Tuesdays: 4 - 5 p.m. Calabasas Elementary For details, see https://tinyurl.com/yzl9gtp6

SCULPTURE IS: IN THE GARDEN 2021 On display thru Oct. 31 10 a.m.–5 p.m., Sierra Azul Nursery and Garden, 2660 East Lake Ave., Watsonville Sculpture IS: In the Garden 2021, is the 15th sculpture exhibit in partnership with Sierra Azul Nursery and Garden.

The jurors, Susana Arias and Jeff Rosendale, selected more than 100 sculptures created by 42 artists and collaborators.

Visit the stunning two-acre demonstration garden, relax under the umbrellas, and spend an afternoon enjoying the outdoor exhibit.

Admission is free. Visitors can see works created by:

Jamie Abbott • Cristy Aloysi • Susana Arias • Jeff Arnett • Nessy Barzilay • Michael Bashista • Lucia Bruer • Trudi Burney • Jay Capela • Lee Cavanaugh • Paul Cheney • Kathleen Crocetti • Sally Diggory • Franco Di Majo • Barbara Downs • Scott Graham • Leonard Groner • Roy Holmberg • William Hufmann • Kristen Kolbek • Marilyn Kuksht • Ron Lion • Lyn MacDonald • Mike McClellan • Kirk McNeill • Susan Megorden • Annie Morhauser • David Mudgett • Geoffrey Nicastro • Nancy Niles • Jeff Owen • Jane Reyes • Pierre Riche • Jewel Rogers • Mandy Spitzer • Judy Stabile • Richard Starks • Aaron Vanderkerckhove • Susan von Schmacht • Jenni Ward • Lea de Wit • April Zilber Matters Initiative is kicking off a summer of free programming, Fresh Air ’21, to address and elevate the mental health and wellness of the Black community of Santa Cruz County.

Black Health Matters, with Santa Cruz County Parks and County Parks Friends, will produce a diverse and accessible lineup of COVID-mindful events and experiences led by and for Black residents (and allies) in beautiful outdoor spaces.

From movement classes, guided nature hikes, and self-care workshops, to weekly virtual content, community gatherings, and celebrations, this summer-long campaign is geared toward having a seat at the table for all. Register: https://tanneryworlddance.com/bhm-happenings/ TWDCC Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twdcc_ dance/?hl=en

ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUPS Alzheimer’s Association is offering video and phone meetings for caregivers throughout the month: Second and Fourth Wednesdays Santa Cruz, 2-3:30 p.m. via phone — Facilitators: Jill Ginghofer and Laurie McVay. First and Third Wednesdays Santa Cruz, 5:30-7 p.m. via video or phone — Facilitators: Francie Newfield and Kathleen McBurney. Second Saturdays Scotts Valley, 10-11:30 a.m. via video or phone — Facilitator: Diana Hull. Register by calling 800-272-3900 or email ymflores@alz.org. ••• Second Wednesdays Spanish, 7-8:30 p.m. via phone — Facilitator: Yuliana Mendoza. Register by calling 831-647-9890 or email ymflores@alz.org.

STUDENT STORY CONTEST DEADLINE Stories Due Wednesday, June 30 The Palo Alto Humane Society invites 7th and 8th graders in Santa Cruz County to participate in a writing competition on the theme of animals and people helping each other. Stories can be fiction or nonfiction and should illustrate a sense of kindness in their characters.

The top prize is $500, with $200 each for two runner-ups. Winning stories will be published by Palo Alto Humane Society and highlighted during the 2021 Creating Compassionate Communities campaign.

Stories must be original and between 800 and 1,000 words. Competition guidelines — plus a submission form — are at https://tinyurl.com/paloalto-humane-write-2021.

SUMMER DANCE CLASSES

Agape Dance Academy in Scotts Valley and Aptos presents Swan Lake ballet classes July 6-31.

Sign up at https://agapedance.com/ Questions? Call 831-359-0850 or email agapedance7@gmail. com SENIOR CENTER WITHOUT LIMITS This new program from Community Bridges brings enrichment activities like yoga, art, music, tai chi, cooking, tech and support groups to seniors age 60 and up in their homes at no cost. To participate, you need an internet connection and a computer, tablet or smartphone. To participate, view the calendar at https://communitybridges. org/SCWOL/ and find a class. That day and time, click on the link in the calendar to be connected. If you have a problem connecting, call Clara Munoz at (831) 458-3481. SECOND HARVEST FOOD DISTRIBUTION Second Harvest Food Bank’s drive-through food distribution will continue operating at the county Fairgrounds 9 a.m.-Noon on the following Fridays: June 18 • July 9 • July 23 Aug. 6 • Aug. 20 • Sept. 10 • Sept. 24 Food hotline: 831-662-0991.

ONGOING EVENTS

Ongoing thru July 31 SUMMER READING All ages are invited to register for the Santa Cruz Public Libraries’ Summer Reading Program June 1 – July 31 and earn prizes and entries to a raffle of local merchant gift cards.

Go to santacruzpl.org/srp, call 831-427-7713, or text 831-264-0647 to sign up and for more information.

Kids up to age 18 get a $10 Atlantis Fantasyworld gift certificate toward a collection of comics and graphic novels.

After reading for 5 hours, kids up to age 11 get a new book selected by librarians, kids 12-18 get a tote bag with goodies, and adults get a tote bag and a raffle ticket. Prizes include a free scoop from The Penny Ice Creamery. Grand prize is family membership to the Monterey Bay Aquarium or the Santa Cruz Museum of Art and History.

The Beanstack online platform with mobile app will track summer reading and allow readers to claim rewards. Paper reading logs are available. Summer reading events include magic shows, circus acts, NorCalBats, musical performances, and STEAM projects. See santacruzpl.org/calendar.

Ongoing Through Labor Day LOCH LOMOND RESERVOIR OPEN Hours: August–Labor Day: 7 a.m-8 p.m. • June & July: 7 a.m.-8:30 p.m. • Closed Wednesdays Loch Lomond Recreation Area is owned and operated by the City of Santa Cruz Water Department, primarily storing water for Santa Cruz residents and offering boat rentals, picnicking, fishing and hiking.

After Labor Day, the Reservoir will remain open on weekends through the second weekend of October, open 7 a.m.-6 p.m.

Vehicle entrance fee: $8 • Season pass: $80 Information: https://www.cityofsantacruz.com/government/citydepartments/water/watershed/loch-lomond-recreation/park-map

First and Third Monday Each Month SENIOR LIFE ONLINE 4 p.m., Online Meeting Join a local group of senior citizens for “Senior Life Online,” a free online (Zoom) program featuring a presentation by a local expert. Senior Life Online meets on the first and third Monday of each month at 4 p.m. View the schedule at scottsvalleyseniorlife.org/currentactivities/. June 7: Scotts Valley Fire Chief Ron Whittle on Fire Prevention for Property Owners. June 21: Piret Harmon, General Manager at the Scotts Valley Water District, giving an update.

To participate, you need an Internet connection and a computer, tablet or smartphone. A one-time preregistration is required at https://tinyurl.com/SVSLA-5. Questions? Call George at (831) 334-7763. Senior Life Online is sponsored by Scotts Valley Senior Life Association (SVSLA), a 501(c)(3) non-profit whose mission is to promote healthy living for senior citizens. Information is at http://scottsvalleyseniorlife.org.