8 minute read
RELIGION
Peoria Times.com /PeoriaTimes For more religion visit peoriatimes.com
Pastor offers humor, wisdom, quips, inspiration
CHURCH-COMMUNITY CONNECTION Pastor Ed Delph
Peoria Times Columnist
Did you know I have been writing this article since November 2004? That’s a heap of writing. Several times a year, I select some of the best quotes and short snippets I’ve gleaned from my reading or social media and share them with you. Today’s article is one of those. I’ve included humor, wisdom, quips, inspiration, practical and insightful snippets for you. Some are unusual. Here we go.
“Take your age and add 5 to it. That will be your age in five years.” “Learn from the mistakes of others; you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.” “They say we can have gatherings with up to eight people without issues. I don’t even know eight people without issues.” “I need to get back in shape, but I’m kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.” “The biggest lie I tell myself is, ‘I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.’”
Someday the United States may go metric. Here are some phrases involving weights and measures which will need to be converted. “A near miss is a good as 1.61 kilometers.” “There isn’t 0.06 gram of truth in it.” “He felt 3.05 meters tall.” “First down and 9.14 meters to go.” “She 2.54-‘centimetered’ her way through the crowd.” “Don’t hide your light under 35.24 liters.” Here are the conversion answers for the mentally challenged like me: mile, ounce, 10 feet, 10 yards, inched, bushel. I bet you never mused about that before.
Consider these “B Positive” blood-pumping ideas. “If you fail, never give up, because F.A.I.L. means ‘first attempt in learning.’ The end is not the end. E.N.D. means ‘effort never dies.’ If you got no as an answer, remember N.O. means ‘next opportunity.’ Change your mindset.”
Here’s a great thought. “Two principles for a happier life: Use things, not people. Love people, not things.” Here’s a food quip. “The pros and cons of making food. Pros: food. Cons: making.”
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.” That’s funny; don’t do it.
No “irony-wrinkly” article would be complete without marriage and relationship quotes. “My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are, but I laugh more.” Here’s a fun fact. “The majority of archaeologists are women due to their natural ability to dig up the past.” “If at first, you don’t succeed, do it the way your wife told you to.” “Chromosomes: XX=female. XY=male. YYY=Delilah.” “There are two types of people: morning chatterboxes and people who do not want to speak or be spoken to in the morning. They usually marry each other.”
Some wisdom for you: “Wrinkles means you laughed, gray hair means you cared and scars mean you lived.”
Here’s another. “If you don’t like something, and it’s not essential or significant, just take away its only power: your attention.” Here’s a favorite on my Facebook page. “The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.” (Ouch.) “Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.” “Don’t let the offense against you produce an offense within you.” “We overestimate what we can do over a year but underestimate what we can do over 10 years.”
Want to stand out by becoming outstanding in your career? Consider these thoughts. “Your smile is your logo. Your personality is your business card. How you leave others feeling after transacting is your trademark.” “If you try and fail … congratulations. Most people won’t even try.” “Don’t get all steamed up when you don’t know what’s cooking.” “Maybe if we tell some people the brain is an app, they will start using it.” “Begin your day with an “I get to” mentality instead
SEE IRONY PAGE 16
10935 W. Olive Ave. Peoria 85345 Phone (623) 972-8479 office@westolive.com www.westolive.com Sunday Bible Study 9 a.m. Worship 10 a.m. & 6:00 p.m. Wednesday Bible Classes for all ages - 7:00 p.m. Everyone Is Welcome!
Shepherd of the Desert
Lutheran Church - ELCA
11025 N. 111th Ave., Sun City/Youngtown • Worship Saturday 4pm, Sunday 9:30am • Holy Communion both services • Pancake Breakfast 8-10am
Last Saturday Every Month
Drive-Thru Only • In-Person Bible Study
Wed 6pm
Handicap Bus - Call for pickup
(24hrs in Advance) 623 340-8232 Pastor Phil Gustofson, Interim Pastor
623-933-1359 shepherdofthedesertelca.org
Harvest CHurCH
8340 W. Northern Ave. Glendale, AZ 85305
Information 623.334.9482 Dr. Ron G. Rockwell – Pastor Sunday: 9:00 a.m., 11:00 a.m.
Nursery Provided Wednesday: Family Night 7:00 p.m. www.hcaz.org
101 Freeway91st ave.
Harvest CHurCH 8340 W. Northern
Northern Ave. 10250 N. 59th Ave. 623-937-9216
Sunday Services:
Bible Study ....................................... 9:15 am Morning Worship ............................ 10:30 am Discipleship Training ........................ 4:45 pm Evening Worship .............................. 6:00 pm
W ednesdays:
TeamKid, Youth Worship
Bible Study & Prayer........................6:00 pm
Bellevue Heights hosting summer Bible study
BY PEORIA TIMES STAFF
A 12-week Bible study that takes an indepth look at what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ will be offered this summer at Bellevue Heights Church.
The public is invited to attend the Bible study sessions, called “Growing in Christ,” taught by Senior Pastor Rob Boyd. They will be held at 10 a.m. Wednesdays from June 9 to Aug. 25.
According to Boyd, the sessions are designed to help attendees know Christ, grow in Christ and live for Christ. Gatherings will be held in Franklin Hall on the Bellevue Heights Church campus at 9440 W. Hutton Drive in Sun City. There is no charge, and attendees are invited to come early for coffee.
For more information, call the church office at 623-977-8308, or visit bhcsuncity.com.
Summer
COMMUNITY BIBLE STUDY Growing in Christ:
Join us for this 12-week study, taught by Pastor Rob Boyd. Wednesdays at 10 am starting June 9th
in BHC Franklin Hall
COME EARLY FOR COFFEE! Designed to help you Know Christ, Grow in Christ & Live for Christ!
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Great pay. Excellent benefits. Amazing team. Full and part time positions are filling up fast! 200 jobs available in food and beverage, cage, security, player development, facilities and environmental services, slots, and surveillance positions.
LOOP 101 & NORTHERN
IRONY FROM PAGE 14 of an “I have to” thought process. I get to go to work. I get to have a busy day. Whatever it is. We often dress our opportunities in stress, but they are, in fact, blessings.”
Consider these self-discovery thoughts. “Being less visible doesn’t make you less valuable.” “When you know your value, you will stop giving discounts.” “Know your value, then add tax.” “If God doesn’t say it about you, quit saying it about yourself.” “Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter.
Tune In To Your Community
Someone will always be younger. But they will never be you.”
Let’s close with spiritual health snippets. “There isn’t a mask big enough to protect us from everything going on in the world today. We need to suit up with the whole armor of God.” (Ephesians 6.) Here’s some encouragement for “sisters” wearing the whole armor of God.
“Sister, when you get on that scale, remind yourself that you are wearing the full armor of God, and that stuff is heavy!” (I just made someone’s day!) “When asked, ‘What is more important: praying or reading the Bible?’ Charles Spurgeon responded with, ‘What is more important: breathing in or breathing out?’”
There you go — an article with a bit of irony and a little wrinkly. Remember to breathe in and break out. Prayer and Bible reading will do you good and help you, too. Remember, God’s not mad at you. God’s mad about you.
Ed Delph is Phoenix native who lives in the North Valley. Since 1980, he has pastored three churches in the Valley. He is a noted author of 10 books, weekly columnist in several local and worldwide newspapers, teacher, business owner and speaker. He has been to or ministered in over 100 countries. He is president of a worldwide ministry, NationStrategy.
To learn more about Pastor Ed Delph, the Church-Community Connection and NationStrategy, e-mail nationstrategy@cs.com, visit nationstrategy.com or call 623-376-6757.
Midwestern University [Equine and Bovine Center]
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Midwestern University Equine and Bovine Center
part of the Animal Health Institute
5725 West Utopia Road Glendale, Arizona 85308 623-806-7575 www.mwuanimalhealth.com
