OPINION

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Silly bills abound in current legislative session

BY DAVID LEIBOWITZ Peoria Times Columnist

A small oversight on my part that we should clear up. Writing last week about Arizona’s new laws governing sex education — and one school district’s kerfuffle over chicken breasts — I may have inadvertently given the impression that our state Legislature had descended to new levels of absurdity in passing House Bill 2035 last year.

My bad. Forcing parents to opt in to sex ed for kids isn’t silly at all when compared to some of the bills filed this session.

Like HB 2439, sponsored by Peoria Republican Beverly Pingarelli. This bill would force school boards to approve not just textbooks but every single book in each of their school’s libraries. It would also give parents a 60-day window to review every new library book being purchased and the ability to request a list of every book their child has borrowed from the library.

On the bright side, given Arizona’s reading scores on standardized tests, I’m going to assume that would be a very short list.

HB 2597, another education bill, is the work of East Valley Republican John Fillmore. It would mandate that students in grades K-6 recite the Pledge of Allegiance daily, unless some Commie pinko parent requests an opt-out.

But wait, there’s more: Schools must also create “a specific time each day” for students in grades 4-12 “to engage in quiet reflection and moral reasoning for at least one minute.”

We do that at my house, too. Whenever a TV ad for The Husband and Wife Law Team comes on, I spend a minute trying to reason my way around the “Thou shalt not kill” commandment.

Silly bills are not solely authored by the GOP. West Valley Dem Amish Shah — who contributed $22,000 of his own money to land a job that pays $24,000 annually — is the sponsor of HB 2224, on behalf of… cats.

Shah’s bill would ban declawing the arrogant little beasts unless the procedure is for “a therapeutic purpose” — i.e., “addressing an existing or recurring infection, disease, injury or abnormal condition.”

So no, Morris shredding your favorite La-Z-Boy doesn’t count.

Legislators from both parties love creating new fake holidays in Arizona, meaning we don’t get days off from work, but they still get to make a political statement.

Among the new “days” being proposed: Arizona Jazz Day on April 30; a “national day of racial healing” on the third Tuesday of every January; and Post-Traumatic Stress Injury Day, which will make each June 27 a blessed event for every reporter who’s every covered the Legislature for a session.

President Donald Trump may also get a day — June 14, his birthday, courtesy of White Mountains Republican Wendy Rogers.

Not content to stop there with the MAGA ass-kissing, Rogers also has authored Senate Concurrent Memorial 1001, which if passed would urge the Arizona Department of Transportation to designate State Route 260 as the “Donald Trump Memorial Highway.”

Clever leader, this Sen. Rogers. She may have accidentally discovered a way to reduce weekend traffic up to Show Low and Pinetop by 50% — after all the state’s Prius and Subaru drivers boycott traveling on 260 for the rest of their lives.

It’s unlikely any of these bills actually pass and become law in Arizona, which is both a frustrating thought and a cause for joy.

Frustrating because you’d think this body of 90 elected officials would have better things to do with their time. Yet joyful because if this Legislature is busy debating cat claws, forced moral reasoning, fake holidays and highway names, they’re not busy screwing up our lives even further.

I’ve heard it said we get the government we deserve. If so, Arizona’s 7 million residents must have been really lousy humans in our past lives. PT

BRANCH’S OPINION — branchtoon.com

David Leibowitz has called the Valley home since 1995. Contact david@leibowitzsolo.com.

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OPINION

Peoria Times AROUND THE BLUHMIN’ TOWN Women need to do a little ‘sole searching’

BY JUDY BLUHM Peoria Times Columnist

How is your year shaping up? With so much tension swirling around in the world, mental health experts claim that people often get into a “February funk.”

Evidently, one way out of it as we head into March is to set new goals. Let the world (and its problems) keep spinning. Just do something for yourself. Hmm… after careful consideration I thought I might buy a new pair of shoes for spring.

Yes, I went shopping with a girlfriend and almost bought a pair of red dress shoes with a half-inch heel and she talked me out of them. She said when a woman stops wearing high heels “the end is near.” I say that is hogwash and ridiculous. I did call my 90-year-old aunt to get her opinion about high heels.

She got quiet for a moment and then said, “Well, there are certain occasions where heels are essential.” She went on to ask, “If you are going to be dressed up, what other shoes could you wear?” I have asked several colleagues, my two daughters and girlfriends, and they are all of the opinion that “high heels are important.”

My husband, Doug, was working in the garage and I asked him if he thinks I should wear high heels more often. He winked at me. Hey Doug, I was just seeking an opinion. He laughed and said, “I love heels.” I then asked my girlfriend, who is an attorney, about high heels and she said, “Absolutely essential to wear.” She went on to say that she would “never win a trial in flats” and that people expect to see a confident woman in court. And high heels, evidently, screams out “confidence.”

Objection! Am I to believe that a shoe can make a difference in a woman’s confidence? I went to my female physician and asked her opinion of high heels. She said that women who wear them all day long are “punishing their feet and causing bunions, ingrown nails, poor posture, nerve and tendon damage.”

The American Osteopathic Association claims that a third of women who wear high heels have tripped and fallen in them. My point exactly. Shoes can be dangerous!

The average American woman has over 30 pairs of shoes in her closet. So, I guess if “clothes make the man,” then “shoes make the woman.” A fashion editor came out saying that women are “crazy about shoes” because the size doesn’t change, it is easy to update an outfit with a shoe and not “horrifying” like trying on a pair of jeans and standing in front of a threeway mirror.

One designer claims, “Shoes make women happy.” Evidently, women are head over heels in love with their footwear. Shoes resulting in happiness? High heels creating confidence? I won’t “buy in” to this nonsense.

I have more to say on this topic. But there is a shoe sale at Dillard’s, and obviously more research must be conducted, and perhaps a little “sole searching.” If I look slightly taller next time you see me, you will know what happened. PT

Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local Realtor. Have a story or a comment? Email Judy at judy@ judybluhm.com.

AOC’s journey from bartender to congresswoman

BY J.D. HAYWORTH Peoria Times Columnist

Not exactly in the beginning, there was a “big boom”… the baby boom.

And that boom gave birth to “boomers,” who thought it was good.

And it came to pass that boomers begat Generation X’ers, millennials and/or those of Generation Z…based on varying biological and chronological circumstances.

And the boomers looked and saw that their own generation — the “Me Generation” — spawned a reaction called “Me Too” years later.

And many of the male boomers were shamed and confused.

But many of the female boomers felt both enraged and empowered.

And both mothers and daughters arose and said, “A woman’s place is in the House… and the Senate.”

And men of goodwill (not to mention similar political persuasions) looked, listened, voted and said it was good… at least, when the female candidates they supported were elected to office.

And in the fullness of time, there came a congressional candidate from unlikely origins, called “Sandy” by her family.

Born in the Bronx, her upwardly mobile family moved to a prosperous suburb in Westchester County, New York, when she was 5. Prosperity brought both opportunity and tragedy. Her architect father died of lung cancer during her sophomore year at Boston University; she went on to graduate cum laude with a double major in international relations and economics at B.U. in 2011.

Sandy initially sought employment as a bartender in New York City — and despite other occupational endeavors (including in publishing and a post with the National Hispanic Council), to a bar she returned — after a stint as a volunteer organizer with the presidential campaign of socialist Bernie Sanders in 2016.

No shame can be found in honest labor; indeed, many successful actors find work in bars and restaurants before their “big break.” And in a similar vein, Sandy auditioned with “Brand New Congress,” a leftist political action committee, for a role as a democratic socialist candidate for the U.S. House.

Her successful audition — “nomination,” if you prefer — cast her into a primary battle against Rep. Joe Crowley for the 2018 Democratic nomination in New York’s 14th District.

Crowley appeared to come from central casting himself. A big, bold Irishman, Joe enjoyed the support of labor and Wall Street. His colleagues had elected him to party leadership — chairman of the House Democrat Caucus — and Joe had not faced a challenge since 2004.

And Sandy, pouring shots instead of using a slingshot, was the female equivalent of “David.”

Harking back to her Hispanic roots, Sandy used her full name — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez — to emphasize her ethnicity and appeal to voters of Puerto Rican heritage. Sandy pulled off the upset, winning the nomination by 4,000 votes, then won the seat in the heavily Democrat district.

So, in 2019, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, dubbed “AOC” by a worshipful,

JOURNEY FROM PAGE 8 partisan press eager to place her immediately in the Democrat pantheon of legends, made history as the youngest woman ever elected to Congress. The 29-year old’s initials were mentioned in the conversational company of FDR and JFK.

Make no mistake: Despite utterances regarded as vapid by political opponents, AOC is a genius at employing social media. Videos from her cell phone, offering makeup tips and social commentary, strike a responsive chord with young women.

The “congresswoman formerly known as ‘Sandy’” has successfully traversed the merging worlds of politics and celebrity. In so doing, she continues to receive over-the-top accolades.

Most recently, and notoriously, the editors of New York Magazine have collaborated on a biography, “The Unprecedented AOC,” which invites a favorable comparison of the open borders, free college, “Medicare for All” advocate with a certain carpenter from Nazareth.

Clearly, AOC is responsible for her votes in Congress and their adverse impact on our nation… not the outrageous hagiography of “journalists.”

God will not be mocked… but the American People will.

As it is written, so shall it be. PT

J.D. Hayworth worked as a sportscaster at Channel 10, Phoenix, from 1987 until 1994 and represented Arizona in Congress from 1995-2007.

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