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The Super Bowl is blocking Valentine’s Day

BY JUDY BLUHM Peoria Times Columnist

What are you doing this Sunday? Let me guess, you might be joining about 100 million other Americans to watch the Super Bowl, where the Bengals and Rams lock horns (no pun intended).

OK, so maybe our favorite team is not even in the game, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a little football. What we witnessed during the playoffs was possibly the most thrilling battles we have seen in a while. Underdogs ruling the day. Overtime deciding the fate of teams.

Mistakes, fumbles, interceptions and plain stupid calls played out in front of our disbelieving eyes. And yet, we also witnessed greatness, when a ball sails through the air to new heights, to be caught on the fly, or makes it perfectly through the goal posts. So, all we can do is cheer, yell and coach from the living room.

Oh, we are great armchair coaches. What were special teams thinking when they sent out only 10 men to block a field goal? Yikes, and this happened to be the game-winning field goal. Idiots! Hold on, quarterback, why are you going for a touchdown at the one-yard line when you should call in the kicker? And wait, did we just see that in the final moments of a game when the quarterback spiked the ball, an umpire allowed the clock to run out? Hey, it seems unfair that a coin toss sets up overtime play! Of course, it’s not so “unfair” if you win.

Let all the pundits and sports analysts dissect the season. We have bigger fish to fry. Not exactly fish, more like chicken wings. Yep, Americans love their wings, and this Super Bowl Sunday we will consume approximately 1.35 billion of them.

And let’s not forget that we also love pizza. Americans will eat about 30 million slices of pizza on game day. How might we wash it all down? Well, let’s try with 325 million gallons of beer. Which actually goes well with the 9,200 tons of chips that we will be eating. In other words, on Super Bowl Sunday, we have become pigs.

Super Bowl Sunday ranks only behind Thanksgiving as the biggest food consumption day of the year. The average person watching a game will devour 6,000 calories of yummy treats and libations.

OK, who said that watching a football game had to be healthy?

The proof is in the Pepcid because sales of antacids increase by 20% within 24 hours after the Super Bowl.

Guess all those chips, dips, wings, pizza and beer has consequences. And a shocking 6% of Americans will call in sick from work the day after the big game.

Perhaps this year, Valentine’s Day is being eclipsed by a bigger celebration — of indigestion and hangovers. Only kidding, we can love a little football and still eat candy on Valentine’s Day. Hmmm, not so sure.

Get ready for football! Enjoy the spectacle of a great show. Grab your favorite antacid and munch away because wings, pizza and beer are recommended — but not required. PT

Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local Realtor. Have a story or a comment? Email Judy at judy@ judybluhm.com.

February 10, 2022

Election audit raised questions that are ignored

BY J.D. HAYWORTH Peoria Times Columnist

If a murder mystery is called a “whodunit,” what should we call the curious events surrounding Election Day 2020?

The left has collectively decried any expression of concern as willing participation in spreading “the big lie.”

The right, gobsmacked by the audacity and perverse ingenuity of the caper’s magnitude, has characteristically split into two major factions.

First, there are the MAGA backers who loudly object that what transpired was the “Crime of the Century.” Then there are the Establishmentarians, who are so dependent on “business as usual” in the D.C. swamp that they meekly agree with their tormentors across the aisle.

It is that second “conservative” faction, racked by the odious combination of self-interest and self-loathing, that predictably earns plaudits from the chattering classes.

While the blow-dried and bubbly infotainers on the alphabet networks and their cable cousins celebrate Republican “statesmen,” a very different assessment comes from Americans who work hard, play by the rules, and have been awakened to the absurd scam of “wokeism.”

On the rare occasions when those outside the spotlight are asked about their wayward “brethren,” a one-word description is heard: “Sellouts!”

The Arizona Senate, unlike its federal counterpart, actually took steps to explore possible electoral malfeasance in Arizona’s most populous county.

For its authorization of an election audit in Maricopa County, a cacophony of criticism was unleashed upon our state Senate.

The pro-authoritarian stenographers who self-identify as “journalists” routinely ignore or mischaracterize revelations that raise the specter of a suspect election.

A case in point: the recent Senate Government Committee hearing featuring the testimony of Paul Harris, who voiced his concerns with possible violations of the Uniform Overseas Civilian Absentee Voting Act.

Harris, an audit manager, told the committee that actual ballots had been replaced by sheets of copy paper:

“Did you all know that our ballots came back like this from our overseas people? Did any of you know this? It is such a sham that I had people every day at my table taking pictures of these ‘ballots’ that were scanned down. It took my team three complete days to count all of the UOCAVA ballots.

“You know why? Because in 2016, the numbers were apparently 1,600 UOCAVA ballots that came back in the most significant election in our lifetime. In 2020, the numbers were close to 9,600 ballots that came back. … And in a state where a candidate won by 10,000 votes, that is 8,000 new votes during an election where people were brought home because there was a pandemic. … No chain of custody. There’s nothing to identify where this piece of paper came from.”

No imagination is required to identify where the local daily newspaper is coming from in its coverage, which headlined its coverage thusly: “Arizona Senate panel gives platform to conspiracy theories as it approves election-related bills.”

Objective coverage?

Fuggedaboutit! PT

J.D. Hayworth worked as a sportscaster at Channel 10, Phoenix, from 1987 until 1994 and represented Arizona in Congress from 1995-2007.

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