10 minute read
OPINION
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Big Apple trip poses a question befi tting ‘Hamlet’
BY DAVID LEIBOWITZ Glendale Star Columnist
Early on in your relationship, she confessed a semi-startling fact. While she had visited China as a little girl and walked along the Great Wall, never once had she been to New York City.
To her, the metropolis back east seemed like a gleaming trophy to life made large. Broadway, Times Square, the Statue of Liberty. Skyscrapers and a chance to stride up Fifth Avenue in spike heels, like Carrie in “Sex and the City.”
To you, the city was home once, the backdrop for a million childhood memories: a piping hot slice of pizza dripping with cheese, a walk around the Central Park reservoir, the concrete stoop fronting the old red brick apartment in Queens, the Garden for a Knicks game, a knish purchased from a street vendor and painted in brown mustard.
She dreamed aloud. You egged it on, and thus a trip was born. New York at Christmastime and for New Year’s Eve. Plane tickets were purchased; hotel, theater and dinner reservations were made. And then Omicron showed up, which is exactly America’s luck in 2021.
The spiking pandemic gives rise to a question, one that feels a little bit like some bad “Hamlet,” given that vacation issues are a decidedly fi rst-world problem to have in the midst of global affl iction.
To go or not to go? To get on that jetliner, which departs tonight, or to cancel our plans and instead spend Christmas watching “Miracle on 34th Street,” instead of living it?
Some background: We have both been vaccinated three times, and thus have been maximally protected against the dread virus. We are both in good health. We both understand that New York City will still be there next month, next year, next vacation or the one after that.
And yet making the trip still feels tempting, especially when you run the numbers in your head. Last week in New York City, the infection rate among all 8 million residents was 193 infections for every 100,000 people. That’s a tenth of a percentage point chance of getting sick — and the infection rate for the vaccinated is half as much.
This year in New York, COVID-19 has claimed one life for every 200,000 vaccinated residents. Put another way, I’d have a better chance of getting a hole in one (12,500 to 1) or being killed by lightning (1 in 138,849, according to the National Safety Council).
Then again, to quote Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas from “Dumb and Dumber,” “So you’re saying there’s a chance?”
Life is a series of calculated risks. Some of us have decided not to get vaccinated. Other people continue to avoid indoor gatherings and to wear masks while they’re outside walking their dogs.
There are those of us who smoke despite the threat of lung cancer, others who would never think of wearing a motorcycle helmet because they like to feel like a badass. One of my buddies went skydiving last year. I turned down the invitation, saying I avoid optional danger in all forms, including jumping out of perfectly functional airplanes.
But now here I am, contemplating risking my life for a hot dog with sauerkraut from Gray’s Papaya and the opportunity to show a pretty girl with a huge heart the Tyrannosaurus Rex exhibit at the Museum of Natural History.
What would you do: Throw caution to the wind and live your life? Or give Omicron a wide berth and avoid New York literally like the plague?
One thing’s for sure. If I go and end up in intensive care or dead, everyone who read this column and thought “tsk, tsk” sure will have one last chance to say “I told you so.”
David Leibowitz has called the Valley home since 1995. Contact david@leibowitzsolo.com.
BY J.D. HAYWORTH Glendale Star Columnist ’Tis the week before New Year’s, and for better or worse —
The words of this column are written in verse.
Campaigns are concocted, plans are made for the air,
As politicians hope to show how much they know and they care.
The voters are struggling, no names have been mentioned
As thanks to infl ation, folks can’t pay for attention!
Mom was pacing the fl oor; dad had joined her there…
Wishing they could print money right out of thin air! Then on the TV, they heard such a clatter, They both turned to watch and see what was the matter. On the screen was a show from the news folks of cable Devoid of facts and heavy on fable.
The interview guest neither wanted to hear was a doctor, adept at marketing fear.
He drove home his message, laying it on thick, spreading the notion the viewers were sick.
“First COVID, then Delta and Omicron, too! I bet there’s a mutation that’s coming for you!”
“Now, Pfi zer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson…
Forget “gain of function…” I’ll just redefi ne it!
“From a bat cave to the lab… No, not a Wuhan market stall…
You paid for it… paid for it… paid for it all!”
As the outrage grew louder, the viewers grew mad
So convinced were they that this short doctor was bad…
And fi ercer and fi ercer their outrage grew… at the leftist networks and the small doctor, too!
And then, in a twinkling, it all went “Poof!”
Poem is a commentary on the current state
As Hollywood actors acted out their “proof…” So skillful were they, their scripts turned folks around… And Dr. Fauci was able to scale the rebound! He was dressed all in white, from his toe to his head, But why did this doctor seem to delight in the dread? Therapeutics? He denied folks… and with that he was fi ne… As if he were saying that “your fate is mine!” Oh, how he loved it! His demeanor so merry… As if he determined which poor SEE HAYWORTH PAGE 10
Fasten your seat belt for the New Year
BY JUDY BLUHM Glendale Star Columnist
Are you ready to board Flight 2022? Well, fasten your seat belts because we are on the verge of saying “hello” to a New Year. Ready or not, it is coming, so we might as well pop the cork, pour the bubbly, and watch the ball in Time Square (or boot in Prescott) drop. Time, once again, is marching into the beginning of a new calendar, dragging us along with it.
New Year’s celebrations have been going on for over 4,000 years. This is the oldest of holidays and was fi rst observed in ancient Babylon with a festival that lasted for 11 days! It was those party animals, the Babylonians, who fi rst came up with the idea to make New Year’s resolutions. What would those earliest resolutions be? The most common was to return borrowed tools. (If you have a few tools that you borrowed from a neighbor still in your garage, now might be the time to return them).
My colleague has made a resolution that she will not shop for any clothes or shoes in 2022 (drastic). I have a friend who says she is going to train her Arabian for a 100-mile race (unbelievable). A cousin claims she will not cook a thing in 2022 so she can “rest” her culinary skills and do more creative things (crazy). Hmmm, in my house not cooking translates to not eating. And so it goes. But why even bother with resolutions? Aren’t they just impossible little statements that cause disappointment? Let’s get past this ancient ritual and just embrace the New Year with a reasonable attitude.
Mark Twain had a philosophy that we should keep all of our “bad habits.” He wrote that habits are like baggage that comes in handy when your ship is sinking and you need to throw something overboard. He claimed that when your health begins to fail, it is always good to have a “few bad habits,” like smoking, drinking and overeating, that you can “toss aside.” I mentioned this philosophy to my physician, and she adamantly disagrees. On that note, I suppose healthy eating and lifestyle choices should be a resolution worth considering.
Refl ecting back on 2021 might cause us to wonder how the year fl ew by. Many Americans moved, left their jobs and worked from home. It seems like everyone was remodeling. Housing prices soared. So did gas prices and infl ation. We learned how to have meetings on Zoom, and video calls became a big part of our life. Many folks limited travel, parties and gatherings. The coronavirus reared its head and still caused havoc. We experienced supply shortages that we simply aren’t used to in America. And we cooked. As one woman emailed me, “Never did I consider that being an adult would mean that I will need to cook dinner every night. Of my entire life. For the rest of my life.” Yes, the cooking classes began at the beginning of the pandemic and have never stopped.
Welcome aboard Flight 2022. Takeoff is New Year’s Day. There is no baggage allowed on this fl ight. Only positive attitudes, hope for better days, and faith for reaching new heights. Destination? New beginnings.
Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local Realtor. Have a comment or a story? Email her at judy@judybluhm.com.
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HAYWORTH FROM PAGE 8 souls would be buried.
His creepy old mouth was set fi rm in a smirk…
How could anyone deny that this doc was a jerk?
He spoke lots of words, but did little work…
And yet the left was enamored with each little quirk.
He fi lled all his pockets as the toppaid bureaucrat,
And no one at the WaPo could smell the obvious rat.
He continues his reign into 2022… and he’ll continue to say, “No cure for you!”
But the people have noticed, as he was doing thus…
And they know they must stop him… It’s him or it’s us!
And so, there you have it… It’s ugly but true…
We must get a second opinion in 2022!
J.D. Hayworth worked as a sportscaster at Channel 10, Phoenix, from 1987 until 1994 and represented Arizona in Congress from 1995-2007.
MARGULIES’ OPINION – jimmymargulies.com
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