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Dignity through Words Joseph Hunt
The Torah of Rochelle Zell Dignity
through
Words
Joseph Hunt, RZJHS 2021
Growing up, I was raised in an Orthodox community. I went to an Orthodox school and an Orthodox synagogue. When I was in school and shuls, I never felt as though I really belonged. I always felt like the people around me were judging me because I didn’t pray like they did, I didn’t act like they did, and I didn’t think like they did. Sometimes, those thoughts became a reality. People in my grade and community would tease me if I prayed in English, listened to girls singing, or had a different belief then they did.
One shabbat, I was sitting in a small room for the youth services at a synagogue that I have had negative experiences with in the past. I wasn’t in that big of a praying mood so I started spacing out. I felt pretty uncomfortable in there because there were some old classmates of mine from middle school who I have had negative experiences with in the past.
Art by Hannah Houston, RZJHS 2020
After the Torah service, the head rabbi of the shul came into the room to talk to us. This rabbi has said some pretty upsetting things before, but I decided to listen in to what he had to say anyways.
He asked us a question, “What would you say if one of your friends said they wanted to get married?”
One person said that they would say “Mazal Tov.”
Another said “congratulations.”
Overall people gave pretty positive responses. Then he expanded on his question.
“What if your friend wanted to get married to someone of the same sex?” See Hunt, next page
After I heard this question, I froze. I knew what was coming and I was tempted to just leave the room right then and there, but I stayed. The room was silent.
Even though nobody was saying anything, it felt as if the room was filled with sound. I felt the eyes of the classmates who constantly made fun of me for being gay when I was still praying that I wasn’t. I felt the eyes of my brother who constantly brought up the question of if I had a girlfriend, even though he knew that I was questioning. Eventually, one person said that they would say, “G-d still loves you.” The Rabbi asked, “Would you say Mazel Tov?” At this point, I was so full of anger and frustration that I needed to leave the room so badly, but I didn’t. I was so scared of leaving the room. I didn’t know what would happen if I did. Somehow, I managed to move my head up and down slightly in an attempt to say, “Yes, I would say Mazel Tov.” I didn’t move my head enough for the people around me to see, but enough for the rabbi, who was standing right in front of me, would see. He stared at me with a glare that made that moment feel like an eternity. I felt the eyes again. Absolutely worthless.If congratulating someone for havThe Rabbi said good Shabbos to us and then left. Seconds after he left, the chazzan went back up to the bimah and started the Musaf service like nothing happened.
I felt so sick. I looked at my brother across the room. He already started davening. I stood up and left. I went
home. I have never been in that building since. We, as Jews, know what it’s like to be a minority. We know what it’s like to be the butt of a joke. We know what it feels like to see on the news that someone painted hundreds of swastikas on gravestones at a Jewish cemetery. We know what it’s like to learn about how a lot of the world hated the Jews, so they would stereotype us in the media, call us offensive slurs, and represent us in a way that doesn’t accurately depict who we really are. We’ve seen so much anti-Semitism in this world, especially in today’s time, that it literally makes no sense why Jews are doing the exact same thing to LGBT people. Just like Jews are human, LGBT people are human.
This is not a question of politics. People with different beliefs, political views, and religions can still be friends and have respect for each other. If you are about to use a slur against an LGBT person, remember our history. Remember how we were captured, enslaved, and killed because of our religion. It’s not fair for an LGBT person to have such a difficult time fitting into civilization because of the way that they are.
Please. Think before you speak. Because you never know how much you’re hurting someone with the words that you are saying.
He looked up. Try to understand what people are going through. You never know what stress someone is under. In most casThe next thing he said hurt. It made me feel worthless. es, people tend to hide the fact that they are stressed He said, “If you congratulate your friend who wants to and the reason for it. Trying to figure out who you are get married to someone of the same sex, it is equal to if is a very stressful and complicated experience for some you yourself killed someone.” people. It’s important for them to feel like they are being supported by the people around them. ing a same-sex marriage is as if you just killed someone, Doing small things to make an LGBT person feel acwhat would happen to the one who is getting married? cepted, could have a much bigger impact than you I. Felt. Worthless. might think. שנה טובה ומטוקה!
