How Do We ELEVATE Ourselves When Dealing with Loss?

Kathryn Sadowski, Ed.S. ksadowski@glynn.k12.ga.us

Death is never easy. Losing someone is one of the many heartaches of life. Whether it be a family member or a close friend, we struggle to live the “new normal” without them. We all know that we spend more of our waking hours with the people we work with than with our own families. This results in, whether we like it or not, having an extended family at work. So, what is it like when we lose a colleague at work? Or more specifically (as in my case) a school counselor in your department?

My work “bestie” was diagnosed with cancer the week after Thanksgiving 2022. He was told it was an aggressive cancer, but that the treatment they wanted to put him on showed a good success rate, whether at beating the cancer or, at least for buying some quality time. We were all so positive that he was going to beat this, that our hope was not going to be shattered. Fast forward to February, our hope was shattered. He never had a chance to fight. Chris passed away on 15 February, leaving behind his wife, two children, parents, brother and countless friends and family that loved him.

Chris was the life of our department, always keeping us entertained and on our toes. He played the best music. He was the ultimate team player and a whiz on the computer. He was the one that would let me vent and then calm me down. He was the one that I could get so angry with and then end up laughing hysterically with by the end of the conversation. The staff loved him, and the students thought he was the coolest of the bunch.

A huge void can now be felt in the counseling department. We are all going through the motions of everyday work and just trying to survive until the end of the school year. We too are having to learn the new normal at work. Little things will pop up every now and then that will remind us of Chris making us laugh and/or cry

We are in the process right now of holding interviews for the now vacant position. This is the hardest set of interviews I have ever had to participate in. I don’t want to hire somebody for the position, I just want Chris to come back. When a school suffers a loss, whether it be a student or faculty/staff, dealing with grief always fall on the school counselors. What happens when it is the counselors that need help? It is difficult to want to stay at work all day, every day. We are lucky that there are four of us remaining in this department. We have each other to share memories, tears, and laughter. We support each other. Our goal for the remainder of the year is to support our students and just make it successfully to the end of the year. One of the biggest supports we receive is when co-workers reach out and let us know they are checking up on us and/or thinking about us. Luckily, our county does offer employee assistance programs; an excellent resource to seek out our own counseling.

Death is not something you just “get over.” Grieving the death of a loved one is a lengthy process. It is a process that should not be ignored or pushed aside. A person you love and care about can never be replaced. Death is never easy.