A School Counseling Response To Grief

Jessica Pickard, Hello@thecounselingcrew.com

We have all been faced with students experiencing grief in our line of work. I don’t know about you, but this feels like it has doubled since the pandemic. My data showed an increase in self-referrals for bereavements. This article will cover best practices to use with K-12 students in the school setting.

One of the first things I like to do with a student experiencing grief is to lend a listening ear, a safe space, and tools of comfort. On an elementary level, a lot of my students tend to grab a stuffed animal or fidget while talking. I give the students space to express what they are thinking, their beliefs, cultural norms, or even a happy memory of their loved one or pet. This will look very different for each student. For some, talking it out helps them; however, for others, it may be writing it down, drawing, reading a book, or even doing an activity.

Next, let's talk about activities that can be used in a small group or a one-on-one setting. We have incorporated a grief wreath in our counseling department this year. One of our counseling peers suggested it and it has been a game changer ever since. It has a small cost to consider for purchasing a wire wreath frame and a bundle of ribbons; however, the impact on the staff and students is priceless. The students love selecting or bringing in their ribbon to represent their loved one and tying the ribbon to the wreath in their memory. We added the wreath to the wall outside the counseling office, and it stands as a memorial.

Let’s talk about books for a moment. I love the Invisible String Collection of books. These books talk about the connection we have with our loved ones or fallen pets even after they have passed. The Memory Tree and The Memory Box: A Book About Grief are books that help with the grieving process. When adding books to your counseling library be sure to have a few for students, parents, and staff members on all developmental levels. Even high schoolers appreciate a picture book from time to time. Next, consider adding books that represent diversity and focus on healing. Books provide support, escape, or even a reminder of healthy coping strategies for our families.

Another activity my students enjoy is creating and decorating a memory box for pictures and keepsake items. Students can bring in a box from home and decorate it using the supplies in my office. Students get into this one and write down memories that bring joy, laughter, or comfort. This is a great tool for those students that have precious photos, memories, and items that have been passed down to them. A great follow-up or homework activity can be for the student to go home and organize it. I love being able to check in and talk about the elements they have added and how it makes them feel.

RESOURCES:

• The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families: Portland, OR. Dougy Center. (n.d.). Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://www.dougy.org/

• Gillard, L. (2019). The Memory Tree. Lake Union Publishing.

• Karst, P., & Lew-Vriethoff, J. (2020). The Invisible String. Findaway World, LLC.

• Karst, P., & Lew-Vriethoff, J. (2021). The Invisible Leash. Little, Brown and Company.

• Rowland, J., & Baker, T. (2017). The Memory Box: A Book About Grief. Sparkhouse Family.