Pretoria East (June) Primary/High Schools

JUNE 2015

PRETORIA EAST

LAERSKOOL & HOËRSKOOL

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winter wen:

met McNab’s

NUUS

GRATIS

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NEWS

PRIMARY & HIGH SCHOOL

www.awsum.co.za Lifestyle

Bl 3

Health

Competitions

Spicy hot cauliflower salad and win with

Pg 6 a year’s supply Sauces

AWSUM News Recipes

School News

Wannabee a wrapper?

Fashion Editor Pepe Sofianos gets all wrapped up in the latest oversized wraps.

Pg 6

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from our side

welkom by ons familie Hallo!

Welkom by ons AWSUM-familie! Dit is vir ons heerlik om die tweede kwartaal met die toevoeging van ’n nuwe streek se koerant af te sluit.

Ek hoop jy bly steeds warm! Dit is dalk k-k-k-kouer as wat jy dit wou gehad het, maar ons hier by AWSUM se hart klop sommer lekker warm as ons aan julle dink.

Hierdie maand se uitgawe bevat wonderlike weggee-kanse, modewenke wat jou gaan warm hou, en gesonde planne met daardie aaklige winterverkoue.

Loer gerus hieronder om te sien hoe jou skool ons volgende Skool van die Maand kan wees. Vertel ons ook asseblief van spesiale geleenthede by julle skool, en hoe ons daarmee kan help.

Editorial co-ordinator Ryno Wolfaardt | 021 872 3880 ryno@tiemedia.co.za

To advertise

* Onthou ook dat jy nou al jou plek op die AWSUM-Matriekvakansie-Euro-reis kan bespreek. Twaalf dae, ses stede, vyf lande. Matrieks 2015, julle mag nie hierdie kans misloop nie!

Lindi Hugo Lindi.hugo26@gmail.com 072 600 8259

Schools inside

Nou ja, wikkel julle styf toe ... en bly warm!

AWSUM News is distributed to the following schools in Pretoria: Pro Arte Alphen Park, Hoërskool Waterkloof, Hoërskool Garsfontein, Laerskool Monumentpark, Laerskool Lynnwood, Curro Hazeldean Primary, Glenstantia Primary School

Tenille en die AWSUM-span

Printed by Paarl Coldset

Jurassic World wys nou!

AD

your school’s name could be here!

RTISING VE

Are you our next awsum School of the Month?

This award is our way of recognising the excellent work done by the schools on our board and their teachers and marketers.

Every month, we will be selecting one school that has not only gone the extra mile to promote and distribute AWSUM News, but has also consistently been sending its monthly news on time.

The chosen school will be awarded one full page of bragging space in AWSUM. How to qualify: The School of the Month will be selected using a points system.

• Is AWSUM being distributed to your learners via the classroom?

5 • Are parents told to look out for AWSUM News via the school communicator? 5 newsletters? 5 email? 5 Facebook? 5 other communications (please specify)?

5 • Has your school liked AWSUM News on Facebook?

5 • Are we a tab on your school website?

5 • Is your school news always submitted on time?

5 • Have you been informing us about upcoming school events to see how we can be of assistance?

5

PA PE R

RTISING VE

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Drie gelukkige wenners kan elk ‘n Jurassic World geskenkpak met ‘n pet, notaboek en magneet wen. Om in te skryf gaan LIKE Awsum News op Facebook, en los ‘n boodskap: Jurassic World.

Kompetisie sluit 30 Junie 2015

S EW

Pleas

e not We e the fac are aware o : our s t that not a f variou chools have ll of s disposplatforms at the a th be awal. Schools wi eir ll r on the ded based facilitie availab s le to them.

AD

PA PE R

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WEN Jurassic World geskenkpakke met die komplimente van AWSUM en UIP

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Editor Tenille Swanepoel | 021 872 3880 tenille@tiemedia.co.za Designers Rowan Engledoe | rowan@tiemedia.co.za Jade Bushby | jade@tiemedia.co.za

Aanhaling van die maand: “As jy nie bereid is om te leer nie, kan niemand jou help nie. As jy vasberade is om te leer, kan niemand jou keer nie.” – Zig Ziglar

wen!

Team

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Health

Winter wenke teen verkoue: Die griep-en-verkoue-seisoen is hier – maar moenie vrees nie! Ons het ’n geheime wapen wat hierdie narigheid in sy spore sal stuit.

McNab’s SuperGuard is ’n gerieflike en bekostigbare enkeldosis-sakkie wat jou van ’n spesiaal-geformuleerde dosis vitamines, minerale en kruie voorsien – alles wat jou liggaam nodig het om wintervirusse te beveg.

Die kombinasie van ses tablette bevat bestanddele wat jou immuunstelsel versterk, soos vitamines A, B, C, D en E, wat jou liggaam teen skadelike mikro-organismes help beskerm. Die tablette bevat ook minerale soos koper, selenium en sink, wat noodsaaklik is vir die instandhouding van ’n doeltreffende immuunstelsel en vir die voorkoming van algemene virale infeksies.

Wat McNab’s SuperGuard uniek maak, is die toevoeging van die superbestanddeel Sutherlandia*, Afrika se eie immuunversterkende krui. Dit word reeds eeue lank deur verskillende groepe mense gebruik om infeksies te beveg en om die immuunstelsel te versterk.

McNab’s weet dat siekvoel jou liggaam van waardevolle energie tap, en daarom versterk McNab’s SuperGuard nie net jou immuunstelsel nie; dit gee ook jou energievlakke ’n broodnodige hupstoot.

Wenke wat jou sal help om hierdie winter se verkoue en griep te beveg: • Vermy gemorskos en kies eerder ’n verskeidenheid groentesoppe om jou mee warm te hou.

•

•

•

Slaap saans ten minste sewe uur lank om jou liggaam genoeg kans te gee om jou immuunstelsel op te bou.

Hou matigheid voor oë as dit by alkohol kom. Oormatige hoeveelhede alkohol kan jou immuunstelsel dae lank onderdruk.

Dink vooruit en ondersteun jou immuunstelsel deur elke tweede dag ’n dosis SuperGuard te drink.

Indien jy eers op die eerste nies of krapperigheid in die keel reageer, is dit heelwaarskynlik reeds te laat.

Naskrif: Wanneer jy van jou griep of verkoue herstel het, probeer gerus McNab’s SuperCharge, jou daaglikse dosis volgehoue energie. Ons hedendaagse lewe met die min slaap, lang werkure, goedkoop gemorskos en oormatige kafeïen en alkohol lei dikwels tot ’n mikro-voedingstoftekort – wat lae energievlakke tot gevolg het.

McNab’s SuperCharge beveg hierdie ellende met ’n reeks multivitamines, minerale, omega-olies en kruie (soos die superkrui, Siberiese Ginseng) wat spesiaal uitgesoek is om aan jou ekstra energie en oor die algemeen beter gesondheid te gee.

Orthodontist with special interest in: • Lingual Orthodontics (Braces behind the teeth) for adults & teenagers that refer not to show their braces.

• Invisalign (Clear Retainers) • Early Preventative Orthodontics (7 to 10 years) Contact our Practice:

012 344 0960 • www.drsmit.co.za 614 Berea Street, Muckleneuk

DR HSMIT ADVERT FINAL - 18 MAY 2015.indd 1

2015/05/18 1:58 PM

WEN MET McNab’s

Wen ’n Hele boks met McNab’s SuperGuard en twee SuperCharge Hi Energy-stafies (vir ekstra energie wanneer jy so in die hardloop wil peusel).

B’s & V’s geld.

Om in te skryf gaan LIKE Awsum News op Facebook, en los ‘n boodskap: #McNabsWinter Kompetisie sluit 30 Junie 2015

Pro Arte Alphen Park (t) 012 460 6221 (e) info@proarte.co.za

Geleenthede & suksessyfers

Bo, van links na regs: Sianne Richards Young, Nicole Horn, Michelle Murray en Aretha Myburg.

Agter is Christine van Schoor, Jason Marais en Lynn-lee Breytenbach.

Bo: Johnny Alison slaag Ontwerp in matriek 2014 met 99%!

Beoefen kuns, dans, musiek, drama, gasvryheidstudies of ondernemingsbestuur in skooltyd – saam met jou akademiese vakke.

Links: 100% matriek-slaagsyfer vir 17 jaar.

suksesvolle oudleerlinge

Bo: Adriaan Marais met ’n klompie trofeë.

Regs: Kaylan Marais en Sarita Shepherd.

Chantel Darnall (regs), eienaar van Mosaic Restaurant en bekroonde sjef.

Bo: Corneille Hutton-Burger.

Hulle het 3 agtereenvolgende Vonk- toekennings verower.

Regs bo: Hanna Grobler, eienaar van Hanna Charity and Empowerment Foundation & aktrise.

Regs: Cherie van der Merwe van Bakgat!

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Waterkloof Hoërskool (t) 012 347 0277/8 (e) admin@klofies.co.za

NETBAL

Span

Beide die o.19 (links) en o.17 (regs) -netbalspan van die Hoërskool Waterkloof het onderskeidelik hulle liga in die Gauteng-kampioenskappe gewen en dring dus so deur om aan die Suid-Afrikaanse Top Schools kampioenskappe te gaan deelneem.

O.16A

O.17A

Opponent skool

Telling: Opponent

22

Helpmekaar

11

23

Kemptonpark

16

27

Florida

7

7

AHMP

12

20

Garsfontein

11

17

Marais Viljoen

11

23

Dinamika

3

22

Menlopark

10 11

12

Noordheuwel

17

Kemptonpark

8

13

Helpmekaar

10

15

Menlopark

6

21

Dr Malan

12

26

Marais Viljoen

22

29

Randburg

13

47

Jan Viljoen

9

Kwart-finaal

32

Noordheuwel

14

Semi-finaal

22

Helpmekaar

18

Finaal

23

Zwartkop

10

O.18A

HOËRSKOOL WATERKLOOF - SPORTUITSLAGVORM: NETBAL GAUTENG: 13 & 15 JUNIE 2015 * Al 3 hierdie spanne het gekwalifiseer om aan die SA Kampioenskappe (Top Schools) deel te neem.

Telling: Klofies

Hoërskool Garsfontein (t) 012 998 6096/8200/8210 (e) garsies@garsies.co.za

young achievers Die dogter is Marcelle Nienaber van Hoërskool Garsfontein in Gr 11.

Sy is genooi as deel van die 12 genooide “young achievers” wat op Youthday saam met President Zuma vergesel is.

Monnies Gr R Advert_PRESS.ai 1 2015/06/18 08:18:40 AM

Onthou dat sy die jongste dames vlieënier is wat haar solo vlug voltooi het op 15 jaar.

Sy het haar PPL op 17 gekry.

Hier is ook sy toespraak waarin sy genoem is.

Ons is regtig baie trots op haar: h t t p : / / w w w. g o v. z a / s p e e c h e s / president-jacob-zuma-nationalyouth-day-16-jun-2015.

Laerskool Monumentpark (t) 012 460 6607 (e) admin@monnies.co.za

TRAVEL

get ready for The ultimate matric vacation!

Come travel with AWSUM and discover Europe! Travel from city to city and experience all of Europe’s treasures, without having your parents stress about the what, where, when and how. The AWSUM Matric Rage, takes place from 27 November to 9 December and promises to be an experience of a lifetime. The perfect break before taking on 2016

27 November: Johannesburg to Paris for s i 0 h 28 November: Paris All t R20 95tour d 29 November: Paris onlaydetailevisit a 30 November: Paris to Luzern For inerary m.co.z it u 1 December: Luzern aws . w ww 2 December: Luzern to Munich 3 December: Munich to Prague 4 December: Prague 5 December: Prague to Berlin 6 December: Berlin 7 December: Berlin to Amsterdam 8 December: Amsterdam 9 December: Amsterdam to Johannesburg

12 Days 6 Cities 5 Countries

For more information contact ctheworld | 011 888 7910 | info@ctheworld.co.za | tenille@tiemedia.co.za

Education nbt

The National Benchmark Tests Are you in Grade 12? Are you thinking of applying to a South African university? If so, you’ll have to write the National Benchmark Tests (NBTs). Here, we summarise some of the key things you need to know about the tests.

What are the NBTs? The National Benchmark Tests measure your academic readiness for university.

They complement and support (rather than replace or duplicate) your National Senior Certificate (NSC) results.

Who uses them, and how?

A number of universities across South Africa use the NBTs to help interpret your NSC results. Universities use the NBT results in different ways: • Some use them to help make decisions about your access to university. This means that your NBT results, in combination with your NSC results, are used to determine whether you are ready for academic study.

• Some use them to determine placement within the university. This means that the results are used to decide whether you will need extra academic support after being admitted to university.

• Some use the tests to aid in curricula development within the university – what is taught and when.

What do I have to know about writing the NBTs? You can find out all you need to know about writing the NBTs in 2015 on the National Benchmark Tests website, www. nbt.ac.za. Here are some important points: • There are two tests: The AQL, or Academic Literacy and Quantitative

•

•

• • • •

Literacy test, and the MAT, or Mathematics test.

Everyone applying to a university that uses the NBTs has to write the AQL test. The MAT test is reserved for those candidates who wish to apply to programmes for which Maths is a requirement, such as Health Sciences, Engineering, Accounting, and most of the sciences.

There are no past papers or special study materials to prepare for the tests.

The tests assess your prior knowledge: what you know and are able to do.

You must register online to write the tests, and you pay up front. Go to www. nbt.ac.za to register.

A complete schedule containing all test locations and dates is available on the NBT website.

The costs are as follows: R80 for the AQL test only, and R160 for the AQL and MAT tests taken together.

It is important that you write the test(s) in time to meet university admission deadlines. If you are applying to more than one university, make sure to take the test(s) in time to meet the earliest deadline.

See www.nbt.ac.za for more details. If you have any queries about the NBTs, contact the call centre (021 650 3523), or connect with the organisers on Facebook (facebook.com/nationalbenchmarktests) or Twitter (twitter.com/CETAP_UCT).

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Fashion Blokkieskombersstyl-wrap met pelskraag, R499, Foschini

hoe om te

Rooi gebreide uitgerafelde wrap, R260, Woolworths

wrap?

Moderedakteur Pepe Sofianos verlustig haar in die nuutste oorgroot items.

Dit is só maklik om met dié seisoen se heerlikste bykomstigheid, die groot wrap, soos ’n ster te lyk.

Die wrap is informeel dog chic en verleen aan enige uitrusting ’n lekker boheemse flair.

Wees op die uitkyk vir oorgroot kombersstyl-wraps, super serpe met fringing, en aandagtrekkende-pashminas. Dra jou wrap gestileerd, met ’n belt of gevou, of steek dit met ’n borsspeld vas. Hierdie item gaan in hierdie winter jou beste vriendin word.

Uitgerafelde kombersstyl-serp, R200, Cotton On

musthave #PepeSê Draai jou in ’n wrap toe en bly warm! Die wrap verteenwoordig hierdie winter se mees modieuse look.

Sluit by die komberskommando aan! Dis reg – komberse is die nuwe jasse. Kyk maar na Kate Moss wat haar boheemse kombers-wrap met skinny denims en knielengte stewels kombineer ...

Vensterglas kombersstylwrap, R440, Truworths

s t y le

Pryse en beskikbaarheid korrek by ter perse gaan.

Dis ’n wrap.

Gespe jou superserp met ’n mooi belt vas en dra dit soos ’n rok oor tights. Mooi!

Geruite uitgerafelde wrap-baadjie, R299, Cotton On

FOOD

Win With

wellington’s Win a year’s supply of Wellington’s sauces for you and your family!

To enter, simply tell us what’s your favourite Wellington’s sauce flavour? Send your answer, contact details and postal address to: tenille@tiemedia.co.za

Spicy hot cauliflower salad Serves 4 Ingredients: • 4 tbls olive oil • 1 tsp white mustard seeds • 2 cm fresh root ginger, peeled and cut into thin strips • 2 cloves garlic, roughly chopped • ½ tsp turmeric • 2 green chillies, sliced in half lengthways • 3 cups snowy white cauliflower florets • Juice of 1 lemon • ½ tsp salt • Wellingtons Chutney of your choice • 2 tbls coriander, roughly chopped Method: Heat the olive oil, add the mustard seeds and cook till they pop. They jump all over so be careful – and don’t burn them!

Add the ginger and garlic, turmeric and chillies and fry gently while stirring all the time for about 2 minutes.

Add the cauliflower, give it a good stir to coat with the spices and cook for 8- 10 minutes.

Remove from the heat, add the lemon juice, stir in the Chutney, salt and coriander and give it a good toss. Serve hot.

Tip: This is great as a salad served at room temperature, or served hot as a side dish.

It also works as a vegetarian dish served with fragrant saffron rice. © Jenny Morris 2014 -2015

By Jenny Morris Follow Jenny @jennymorrischef

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Laerskool Lynnwood (t) 012 348 8894/1306 (e) admin@lynnwoodlaer.co.za

KULTUUR – Seniorkoor blink weer uit!

Tydens die Pretoria Eisteddfod neem die seniorkoor (bestaande uit 93 leerders), aan die afdeling meer ervare seniorkore deel. In die afdeling moes die koor in twee kategorieë deelneem en vyf werke voordra. Die koor behaal ’n A+(88%) en A++(92%) in die afdelings en word aangewys as: 1. Die beste meer ervare Laerskool koor, 2. Die beste Laerskool koor en 3. Die algehele wenner as die Laerskool koor met die hoogste persentasie behaal vir deelname aan die Eisteddfod.

AKADEMIE

Astro Quiz Vier van Laerskool Lynnwood se grad 7 leerders het die skool gaan verteenwoordig by die jaarlikse ASTRO Quiz kompetisie.

Tydens hierdie kompetisie word ’n hele boekie se inligting geleer oor die sterre, sterrestelsels, planete en nog baie meer! Hulle het uitstekend gevaar en deurgedring na die volgende rondte.

HOKKIE

Lynnies behaal Noord-Gauteng hokkie kleure: Die volgende seuns en dogters van Laerskool Lynnwood het uitstekend presteer tydens die jaar se hokkie-seisoen en behaal hul Noord-Gauteng hokkie kleure.

Van links na regs: Carmen van Zyl, Danelle van der Walt, Juffrou Lizelle Labuschagne (Natuurwetenskap Vakhoof), Noélle van der Walt en Cara Jordaan

< Agter, van links na regs: Michael van Niekerk, Ewan du Toit, Christiaan Daniëls, Divan Dirkse van Schalkwyk.

Middel, van links na regs: Diné Spies, Gelene Beukes, Cara du Plessis, Danielle Swanepoel, Nicola Steidler.

Voor, van links na regs: Milan Colyn, Danélle van der Walt, Cassidy Davies, Noélle van der Walt.

Lynnie behaal Gauteng Netbalspan

Janie Blignaut is verkies tot die 0/13 Gauteng netbalspan wat 29 Junie tot 3 Julie aan die Interprovinsiale kampioenskappe gaan deelneem by EG Jansen.

Curro Hazeldean Primary (t) 012 809 0714/6 (e) adminhazeldean@curro.co.za

maths

We are extremely proud of Alexander Greenen who participated in the 9th CMATHS National Championship 2015 and won a Gold trophy in this competition. Alexander qualified to participate at the International Championships in the USA at the end of the year.

Alexander Greenen

Bo: Netbalkapteins van die onderskeie spanne.

Links: Buthle Nhlengethwa.

Netbal Kholo Montsi

TENNIS

Kholo Montsi attended the ITF/CAT Camp in Botswana and had a good and intensive training programme taking on the two U/14 ITf/CAT Tournaments. He competed against players from around the African Continent. As a Curro and South African ambassador he did not disappoint and came back with 4 medals.

Aan die einde van ’n netbalseisoen kyk ’n mens terug met groot dankbaarheid en nederigheid dat God ons so geseën het met briljante afrigters en netbalspelers met passie en talent.

Deur die seisoen het ons kliphard gewerk

deur op Maandae klinieke by te woon wat deur Edelweiss Caltiz aangebied is.

Die spelers en afrigters het baie daarby gebaat. Ons spog met 1 netbalspeler Buthle Nhlengethwa wat deel is van die GSS netbalspan.

GLENSTANTIA PRIMARY SCHOOL (t) 012 998 6116 (e) admin@glenstantia.co.za

HORIZON MATHS COMPETITION Horizon Maths Competition (HMC) competition encourages learners to work outside the curriculum and widen their knowledge of Maths. This year it was hosted by Star College.

Grade 5, 6 and 7 learners from 25 schools participated in the competition, enabling the HMC first round to accommodate over 4500 learners from Pretoria, raising the

national total for the competition to about 22 500 learners.

Over 450 learners were eligible to write the second round in Pretoria of which 182 learners are from Glenstantia Primary School. Grade 5 has 28 learners, Grade 6 71 and Grade 7 83.

We are very proud of all our learners who are participating.

CHALLENGE CUP SOCCER RESULTS On Tuesday, 2 June 2015, Glenstantia Primary School secured the U/10 A, U/10 B and U/13 A, U/13B and U/13C teams to play in the finals of the Challenge Cup Competition schedule for 9 and 10 June 2015. This highlighted the ultimate goal for the schools Soccer Department, it’s Sports Department and the Schools Management that had to

cope with learners writing final exams and playing in the finals at the same time.

On the day of the finals, Glenstantia Primary School was crowned champions in the U/10B, U/13A, U/13B and U/13C team competitions.

U/10A lost their match and came in 2nd place. Congratulations to all the teams and their magnificent achievement.

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Entertainment

First XV Rugby Rankings 15/06/2015 Rank Team Avg Pts 1 PAARL BOYS HIGH 6.847 2 AFFIES 6.817 3 PAUL ROOS GYM 6.446 4 MICHAELHOUSE 6.264 5 PAARL GIM 6.242 6 MONUMENT 5.953 7 GREY HIGH SCHOOL 5.245 8 EG JANSEN 5.213 9 SELBORNE COLLEGE 5.114 10 GREY COLLEGE 4.992

Rank Team Avg Pts 11 OAKDALE 4.840 12 ELDORAIGNE 4.627 13 GLENWOOD 4.400 14 STELLENBERG 4.325 15 NOORD KAAP 4.243 16 NELSPRUIT 4.215 17 BOLAND LANDBOU 4.154 18 DALE COLLEGE 4.146 19 BISHOPS 4.078 20 HTS MIDDELBURG 4.047

U16 RUGBY RANKINGS 16/06/2015

U14 RUGBY RANKINGS 17/06/2015

Rank Team Avg Pts 1 PAARL BOYS HIGH 7.136 2 HELPMEKAAR 6.942 3 GREY COLLEGE 6.758 4 GREY HIGH SCHOOL 6.690 5 GLENWOOD 6.633 6 SELBORNE COLLEGE 6.617 7 BOLAND LANDBOU 6.575 8 MONUMENT 5.938 9 ST STITHIANS 5.519 10 STELLENBERG 5.258 11 ELDORAIGNE 5.171 12 DHS 5.073

Rank Team Avg Pts 1 GLENWOOD 7.783 2 GREY HIGH SCHOOL 7.730 3 SELBORNE COLLEGE 7.542 4 OUTENIQUA 7.189 5 PAARL BOYS HIGH 6.533 6 MARITZBURG COLL 6.000 7 KLERKSDORP 5.900 8 PAUL ROOS GYM 5.890 9 TRANSVALIA 5.779 10 GREY COLLEGE 5.767 11 STRAND 5.450 12 STELLENBERG 5.362

Q: What does a nosey pepper do?

A: Gets jalapeno business!

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An Impasta Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An Investigator Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”

A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?

A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

English:

Minions:

Hello!

Goodbye!

Thank you!

I’m Hungry!

Ugly!

I swear...

Fire!

We love you!

I hate you!

Toy What Apple

Bello!

Poopaye!

Tank yu!

Me want banana!

Bananonina!

Underwear...

BEE DO BEE DO BEE DO! Tulaliloo ti amo!

Tatata bala tu!

Baboi Po ka Bable

Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

A: Because she will Let it go.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk.

Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

A: Lawsuits!

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

A: Kitty Perry

Three lucky readers could each win a Minions hamper, consisting of a Minion key chain, Stationery sets and a Minions Lunch Tin. To enter simply like AWSUM News on Facebook, and comment #AWSUM #MinionsMovie.

Minions will be released nationally on 10 July 2015

Q: What did the pencile say to the other pencil?

A: your looking sharp.

Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?

A: Lettuce get together!

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: Put a little boogey in it!

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.

Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?

A: At the BP station!

Q: What do you call a baby monkey?

A: A Chimp off the old block.

Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A: A taxi driver.

Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?”

A: “With a bee bee gun.”

Q: How do you drown a Hipster?

A: In the mainstream.

Q: How do you make holy water?

A: Boil the hell out of it!