MODERN MAN-HATING: DRAWING THE LINE BETWEEN FEMINISM AND MISANDRY

WRITTEN BY : Gerald M. Araco

Society is moving towards a more progressive social climate. It is tipping the scales towards fairer opportunities, treatment, and outcomes between men and women. However, for those (men) who have been grandfathered into advantageous positions from their arbitrary birthright, equality seems a tad similar to oppression; so, they quarrel back. They quarrel back through exclusion, mansplaining, violence, and gratuitous assertion of dominance. Such has been the case in the workplace, in politics, in business, in school, in households, and so on. This abject fear mongering against “breaking the glass ceiling” is the driving force of sexism against women in the 21st century.

This force is known as misogyny.

Both sexism and misogyny are the bastions of the patriarchal system that categorically excludes women on the basis of their sex. While mainstream culture’s loose references to the terms cause people to confuse their meanings, they are both part and parcel of the same patriarchy that has oppressed women for far too long. To clarify, one can think of sexism as the broad stretch of assumptions, theories, stereotypes, and general attitudes that are largely prejudiced against women. Such prejudices have been the fuel for gender-based violence, hate crimes, microaggressions, and open discrimination, all of which represent acts of misogyny. Misogyny is sexism’s hatchet man that translates bias against women into hostile real-life effects. For example, the notion that women must be clothed in a particular fashion and not leave the premises of their home at night represents sexism, but to make ill-humored jabs at the clothing choices of rape victims and hinting that they are to blame for their assault, is a subtle but very rampant form of misogyny (Prassad et. al, 2019). As awful as they are, both are conditions that are still accepted in society.

Fortunately, these old ways are slowly beginning to dissipate. Granted, there is still much left to be desired with regard to equality between sexes, feminism has done well to address the appalling discrimination that women face. From subjugation to menial roles in society, unequal pay, domestic abuse, lack of political representation, and very turbulent opposition, feminism has weathered all this and scored a great number of key victories for millions, if not, billions of women across the world against these terrible things. Spanning the better part of the last 150 years, feminism has gifted women suffrage, education, employment, addressed rape culture, combated sexual assault (#MeToo Movement), given women birth control and abortion rights, and a great deal of other achievements that have equalized many things between men and women.

Indeed, feminism is backed by the strong tailwinds of improving times. The present circumstances of growing accountability, representation, and support has helped mature the discourse in society on gender roles & practices and has leveled the playing field somewhat in educational and professional respects, all of which seemed two miracles shy of sainthood in an era not so long ago. Therefore, this begs the question that if we have come this far, why are we still not there yet?

The short answer? Distractions. The long answer: it is because of the deadlock between misogyny and misandry.

Like any social movement, feminism possesses a spectrum of interests and ways in which they are expressed. There are those that are more tempered, if not, passive in their approach in voicing their

LAYOUT BY : Reinehard Aytona

demands and calling out gender discrimination but then feminism is also not without its radical counterpart found in its third (and current) wave from which misandry was borne. Misandry, simply put, is the antithesis of misogyny. It constitutes the set of beliefs, ideas, and acts that are prejudiced against men. It is distinct from feminism as it aims not to establish equality between genders. Rather, it seeks to develop a matriarchal society in which women monopolize the majority of power, control, and prestige while men, this time, are vilified and oppressed due to their gender. Readily apparent examples of this would be how easily hate speech phrases such as “kill all men” or “all men are trash” are thrown around by a number of radical activists without so much as a serious consequence for such behavior. Institutionally, the West has made misandry a standard practice in how easily any false sexual assault allegations can tarnish a man’s career and reputation for good, or how the difference in which support is given to female victims of domestic and sexual abuse versus men, or even the cases of preferential treatment of women in divorce settlements and custody battles. All of these hostile attitudes are perpetuated by online publications like Buzzfeed whose brazen hatred of men have spurred more contempt between men and women than the solidarity needed for achieving gender equality.

While large-scale man-hating is a concoction of far-left women’s rights’ groups in highly progressive countries like the US, UK, and Canada, many still argue about where all the sentiments shared by misandrists supposedly take root. The most common suspicion is that it stems from resentment for historical and ongoing injustices directed towards women for which they want retribution rather than meaningful long-term change. However, it is the sordid and indiscriminate ways in which misandrists lash out against men (and women too) that cause people to conflate them with feminism and become disillusioned with the movement as a whole. It is highly doubtful that the majority of women would want to see all men burn at the stake but this small but highly vocal sect of the feminist movement has indulged itself too generously in histrionics rather than the necessary work for their goals (if any) to prevail.

Instead of concrete action plans that their predecessors have carried out, misandrist social justice warriors waste away at wreaking havoc, protesting, and engaging in rows online without any clarity or direction. For them, “hot takes” have taken precedence over discussing clear-cut solutions that can help to alleviate the real problems faced by women. What misandry has produced instead of marginal strides towards gender equality is a rejuvenated face of misogyny; one that is helmed by the likes of Andrew Tate, Ben Shapiro, and Joe Rogan, to name a few. Through their rhetoric, they have emboldened men's rights activists to push back against sexism against men. However, they have also inadvertently been responsible for the revival of some toxically masculine and outright sexist beliefs and behaviors as a response made from the pent-up frustrations of many young men without proper guidance, most of whom are frequent targets in the wake of modern-day misandry. All this furor has only served to undermine the concrete progress that more wholesome and responsible men and women’s rights activist groups have been working to achieve.

Unfortunately for women, who are already disadvantaged by ex- success, it is your capacity to deal with adversity. And so, he introduces the four dimensions of AQ that can aid in your road to success–Control, Ownership, Reach, and Endurance.

Control: “To what extent can I influence whatever happens next?”

To improve your AQ, learn how to be in control of your situation instead of outright giving up. Create a strategy for how you can overcome the setback you are currently facing, and point out solutions that can improve your adaptability.

Ownership: “How likely am I to step up to do anything to improve the situation?”

Don’t turn your back on the situation; be accountable for dealing with and resolving it. For no one can work your situation out other than yourself.

Reach: “How far will it reach into and affect everything else?”

Whenever you face adversity, do not discourage yourself by thinking that you have already failed. Accept that mistakes and challenges are an unavoidable part of the process. Learn from your mistakes and don’t let them affect everything else.

Endurance: “How long will it take to get past this situation/adversity?”

Build trust in yourself and maintain the courage to get back up. Adversities are a temporary thing that will soon pass. Remember that things won’t always go as planned. Whenever you face difficult situations, make an effort to see the bigger picture while holding onto the optimism and confidence to proceed.

Action and success are so deeply entwined. With the improvement of your Adversity Quotient, the way you handle distress could foreshadow how well you perform in life. As a result, being able to increase your AQ through CORE will be significantly beneficial in helping you achieve greatness.

ILLUSTRATED BY : Jefferson M. Juan

isting inequalities, they have to grapple with the backlash that their hard-liner allies have negligently dealt them. Misandrists have deadlocked public discourse by turning it into a rock and a hard place situation wherein any slight deviation from very strong public opinions on gender issues will be met by a sea of vicious protests. The desire for reasonable discussions is carelessly tucked behind the rage that has become the standard manner in which opposing views on gender-related subjects are discussed, especially on the majority of online platforms. With feminism sitting in the no-man’s-land of this malicious fire against fire confrontation, its goals of gender equality end up being sidelined.

Even if misogyny has been the more historically obvious obstacle to women’s rights, misandry has not done feminism any favors to this date. Hand in glove, they both obscure the voice of reason that would supposedly unite and steer all parts of the feminist movement towards a more fully productive direction. This is why it is imperative that free speech, important as it may be, should really only be seriously entertained if it has everybody’s best interests at heart and is not simply a means for people to weaponize false virtue in order to advance hateful causes. It may well be a flight of fancy that there would be a sudden paradigm shift in these radical groups but when given the media for self-expression, they will see fit to exploit it needlessly for their ease of mind rather than the well-being of their peers. Therefore, it should be people’s responsibility to prevent the white noise of these hate groups from ever seeing the light of day on mainstream media.

That said, is there any way to reconcile the differences between misogynists and misandrists?

Not quite. Experts and social commentators have tried time and again to conjure up a solution to appease both parties but neither are thoroughly able to give up ground and entertain a compromise with the other. The only way to level off the heat and end the unnecessary rift between men and women’s rights activists is to minimize the clout given to misogynists and misandrists on mainstream media. More importantly, people must make a concerted effort to go back and reinforce the original feminist agenda that has gifted women the equality for which they have worked tirelessly; to give people fair treatment, rights, and opportunities regardless of their gender.

Feminists have earned every right to continue celebrating their triumphs, promote body positivity and mental health, lobby for legislation that give women their due rights and liberties, and of course, to empower women to push back against toxic male behavior. These are the things that have worked and will continue to work in changing things for the better. However, scheming for an equality of outcome (50-50 male-female representation) in all areas of life is somewhat idealistic, by any stretch. So, that should not be a goal for the immediate future. Instead, feminism has and should continue to reduce the importance of one’s gender in accessing rights, opportunities, and the merits of success. Any constructive effort made with that intent in mind, from politics all the way down to the home, will have a more lasting impact on women’s rights than anything a misogynist or a misandrist could do to detract from it.