THISDAY STYLE MAGAZINE SUNDAY 15TH OCTOBER 2023

...NOT IN THISDAY STYLE? THEN YOU’RE NOT IN STYLE

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2023

OLUSEGUN AWOLOWO JNR CONTINUING A LEGACY

EDITOR’S LETTER

CONTENT

COVER NOTE

S

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

teeped in a legacy of leadership, Olusegun Awolowo carries the weight of history with grace. He’s not just anyone; he’s the proud grandson of the legendary Chief Obafemi Awolowo, a luminary in the Nigerian independence movement. Every step Segun takes echoes with the purpose of his forefathers.

Society

WHEN GBENGA KOMOLAFE TURNED 60

The Chief Commission Executive of the Nigerian Upstream Regulatory Commission (NUPRC), Engineer Gbenga Komolafe, turned 60 recently.

Did I say that? I don’t recall

W 6

S yle 09

EXECUTIVE EDITOR KONYE NWABOGOR 08111847087

Lifestyle & Fashion

DEPUTY EXECUTIVE EDITOR OLUFUNKE BABS-KUFEJI 08111847086

At the launch of La’Verita Hair

10 The Survivors 17

Your Go-To Denim Guide

6 Compelling Reasons To Make Journaling Your Daily Habit

18

Gaslighting

19

Activewear Reign: The Rice of Petals Lagos

20

21 It’s All In The Dress 22

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ASSISTANT EDITOR OROMA JUMBO 08113921062 VISUAL/SENIOR DESIGNER MATHIAS ARCHIBONG 07054965500 GUEST CORRESPONDENT YOMI OWOPE CONTRIBUTORS AZUKA OGUJIUBA DIDEE ETA AYO LAWAL BUKOLA AMOBOYE RUKY SALAKO KEJUO LEKAN

Asa: Elevating Nigerian Cuisine

20 @thisdaystyle |

PHOTOGRAPHER TY BELLO DIRECTOR, PRINT PRODUCTION CHUKS ONWUDINJO 08077092196

hen I read the article on Gaslighting, it honestly felt like I was reading an old entry from my diary.

There was even this hilariously relatable part about misplaced keys that had me laughing out loud!

Isn’t it just uncanny how many of us have faced those weird, toxic cycles in relationships where the lies are so artfully woven that they make you question your sanity? It’s so troubling, isn’t it? This notion that someone who professes to love you would intentionally try to distort your reality or make you feel out of place. The Gen Zs call it Gaslighting. And quite unlike the general perception, it’s not just limited to romantic entanglements. From friendships to family ties – it can manifest anywhere, making it even harder to identify and confront. I mean, what do you do when the very people you’ve known all your life, the ones you love and cherish, slowly chip away at your confidence?

We can’t easily walk away from them, can we? No matter how much they might gaslight us, our emotions are deeply intertwined. You should read it, too.

Gaslighting; The Invisible Abuse That Leaves Scars on Our Mental Health. It’s on Page 19.

It gives great insights and is a starting point for those seeking help. It would be great if you also read the article on journaling. Although unrelated, I genuinely feel it is a brilliant tool for mental well-being and could be an ally in navigating through the fog of gaslighting. But here’s a random food for thought - what if, just what if, we are the ones doing the gaslighting?

A ponderous query for another day, perhaps? Lol Switching gears for a moment, not many in the fashion industry will easily forget our cover personality, Segun Awolowo’s stint as Executive Director /CEO of NEPC. The man was on fire at the time. He always advocated for increased government backing in the sector and ensured he played his part in realising that vision. Now serving as the Secretary, National Action Committee on the African Continental Free Trade Area ( AfCFTA), he continues to inspire.

How have you all been, by the way? As the year winds down, I hope you’re finding moments of reflection and gratitude. Life’s a precious gift, and amidst the chaos, let’s remember to be intentional, careful, and ever so thankful for the journey. Sending love and positive vibes your way.

Love,

Konye

@thisdaystyleon | www.thisdaystyle.ng

Isiokpo, Rivers State, Nigeria, Africa

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Application process Visit www.wigweuniversity.edu.ng for details. Send your application, indicating the role and the code of the college you are applying to as the subject of your email to wigweuniversity@hcp-ng.com Please include : • Cover letter expressing interest in the position and summarizing teaching and research experience.

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4: Lecturers I: Ph.D. degree from a reputable university, with minimum 2 years of postqualification experience.

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© 2023 Human Capital Partners, a partnership established under Nigerian Law, is a member of the International People Services Network. All rights reserved. www.hcp-ng.com

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

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WE ARE ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR GREAT STORIES WITH GREAT PRODUCTION VALUES. WE ARE OPEN TO INDIVIDUAL CONTENT CREATORS AND PRODUCTION COMPANIES. 4

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

When Gbenga Komolafe turned 60

HON UCHE OGAH AND MR DICKSON IROEGBU

MRS DUPE OJEDIRAN

T

he Chief Commission Executive of the Nigerian Upstream Regulatory Commission (NUPRC), Engineer Gbenga Komolafe, turned 60 recently.

Family members and a few friends and wellwishers converged at his residence in Abuja to join him in thanksgiving.

Here are a few of the faces at the event: MS ABIES AND MS AIMA

ENGR GBENGA & BARR PAT KOMOLAFE

KAYODE & FUNMI KOMOLAFE

MR ABIODUN AND FRIEND

MR AND MRS TUNDE OJEDIRAN

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LOUIS EMORDI

HON TEMITOPE AKOMOLAFE AND FRIENDS

MRS REMI TALABI AND FRIENDS

OMOWUNMI TAIWO, MR & MRS AJULUCHUKWU

UCHE OKORO AND SISTER

MRS VIVIAN OSATUYI AND FAMILY

NIYI OGINI AND WIFE

DIPO AKOMOLAFE AND CHRIS ONOFUA

MR ABIODUN AND FRIEND

MR HAMZA

MS ABIODUN

MR EKANEM

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

At the launch of La’Verita Hair

R

ecently La’Verita Hair unveiled its grandeur in Ikoyi, Lagos, with a launch event that was nothing short of spectacular.

The soiree was an embodiment of beauty, panache, cultural legacy, and novelty, reinforcing La’Verita’s promise to redefine standards in the hair domain.

Attendees were mesmerized by the premier product lineup that echoes Nigeria’s rich diversity. This lineup boasts stellar products like “Abuja Curls”, “Naija Blend”, and “Lasgidi Waves”. These treasures will soon grace their e-commerce shelves, but for now, can be found in their plush lounge and retail wing.

The ambiance of the event was luxurious, featuring sparkling bubbles, delectable hors d’oeuvres, melodious live music, and engrossing presentations that narrated the brand’s inspiring journey and aspirations.

The night was further illuminated by the presence of revered figures such as the talented actress Shaffy Bello, the eminent politician Florence Ita-Giwa, the fashion maestro and socialite Abah Folawiyo, and the visionary CEO of GAIA AFRICA, Olatowun Candide-Johnson.

Founder and CEO, Candius Diallo, expressed her joy, stating, “The unveiling of La’Verita Hair is a dream realized. Our ethos revolves around empowering individuals to wear their beauty with pride, and our offerings resonate with this spirit. Having such illustrious personalities grace our launch is truly an honor.”

La’Verita stands as a beacon advocating a refreshed understanding of beauty and hair standards, particularly among Africans and women of color. Their commitment to offering opulent, tailored solutions for diverse hair requirements sets them apart. This dazzling launch underlines La’Verita’s earnest dedication to brilliance and its impending mark on the beauty landscape.

MRS IJEOMA, MISS DOREEN AND FRIENDS

MRS OLA OKIKIOLA, MISS TITI

MRS ODERA AND MRS NONYE UDE

ENGR JENNIFER ADIGHIJE

MRS DESTINY OSEGHE AND FRIENDS

MR ANYIM UDE AND ARC STEVE ADAMU

MR SEUN

ABAH FOLAWIYO, CANDIUS DIALLO, ITA GIWA, OMON ODIKE

YEWANDE ABIMBOLA & OLATOWUN CANDIDE-JOHNSON

DAISY OBIANOR

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BO THOMAS-OJO

UCHE UMANA

OMON ODIKE

SIMI SINA

ANSHI CHIDAKASHI

BUKKY GEORGE TAYLOR

GENEVIEVE FADEH

IFY ORJI

MRS ABIES

SIKONA CIBINI, DENIKE BALOGUN

MR AND MRS FASANYA DG SMEDAN AND FRIENDS

SHAFFY BELLO

JOY MEKA, MAUREEN OREMULE

PRINCESS ROSEMARY

STEPHANIE OBIANO

STEPHA ABDUL

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

DERIN ODUGBESAN THOMAS

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

A

YOUR GO-TO DENIM GUIDE h, denim! That stalwart fabric we wrap our legs in, trusty and ever evolving, yet somehow, always reminiscent of the classic.

Over the decades, jeans have undergone innumerable transformations, from bell bottoms to jeggings, but some things - thankfully - never change. Here, we unravel the jean styles that stand the test of time, how to pinpoint your perfect fit, and how to ensure your denim shopping spree is always in vogue.

AGOLDE

ALEXANDER WANG

ISABEL MARANT

KHAITE

MOTHER

NILI LOTAN

DENIM STYLES TO HAVE IN YOUR WARDROBE Straight-Leg Sass - Got that fashionista flair? You know straight-leg jeans are your jam. Perfect for those “I’m chill but also chic” days. Throw them on with a fresh white tee or a blazer that says, “boss mode.” Ready to rule any runway.

Rebel’s Distressed Delight - Feelin’ a little wild? Unleash the inner rockstar with some distressed denim. Those tears aren’t just for show - they scream attitude. Put on heels and a jacket and show the world you’re not here to play.

Waist? Snatched! - High-waisted jeans, because who doesn’t want legs for days? Tuck, crop, and show off that silhouette. They’re not just jeans but a confidence boost stitched into denim.

Bootcut Babe - Flare it out with the ultimate proportion perfection! Got curves? Rock them with the bootcut’s balancing act. Whether you’re dancing the night away in heels or just strutting to the cafe in flats, you will look fabulous.

OLIVIA ARUKWE

Boyfriend Cool, But Make It Fashion - Borrowed from the boys, better on you. Dive into a world of cosy with the relaxed fit of boyfriend jeans. Roll those cuffs, rock those sneakers, and own that “effortlessly cool” brunch scene.

FINDING YOUR FLAWLESS FIT Know Thy Measurements: Knowing your waist, hip, and inseam measurements is paramount. This trio will be your North Star in the vast jean ocean.

Stretch Matters: Depending on your comfort, always check the elastane content. A little stretch can contour, but too much might sag after a few wears.

Rise and Shine: From low rise to ultra-high rise, understanding where you want your jeans to sit on your waist or hips is essential. Choose what makes you feel most confident and comfortable.

SAVVY SHOPPING TIPS Fabric Composition: Look for a mix of cotton (for that classic jean feel) and a bit of elastane or polyester for stretch and durability.

The Butt Test: Pockets should enhance, not diminish!

They should be centered and not too far apart.

The Length: Whether you’re into ankle grazers or full lengths, ensure the jeans don’t bunch up at the bottom unless that’s the look you’re going for.

Styling Your Timeless Jeans Daytime Diva: A straight-cut jeans, a white tee, layered necklaces, and some comfortable sneakers or loafers.

Effortlessly chic.

Casual Friday: Bootcut jeans, a stylish blazer, a soft blouse, and block heels. Ready to impress.

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Night Out Glam: High-waisted skinnies, sequin top, statement earrings, and those killer stilettos. Slay, queen.

ANGEL OBASI

GABRIELLA AZONABOR

OZINNA ANUMUDU

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Continuing a Legacy

OLUSEGUN AWOLOWO JNR

COVER

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Steeped in a legacy of leadership, Olusegun Awolowo carries the weight of history with grace.

He’s not just anyone; he’s the proud grandson of the legendary Chief Obafemi Awolowo, a luminary in the Nigerian independence movement. Every step Segun takes echoes with the purpose of his forefathers. He’s not just walking in his grandfather’s footsteps; he’s carving his own path, marking his territory in the sands of public service. Distinguished as a lawyer and revered as an elder statesman, Segun’s tenure as the Executive Director and CEO of the Nigerian Export Promotion Council (NEPC) saw transformative change. The visionary behind the game changing “Zero Oil Plan” initiative, he envisioned a Nigeria less dependent on oil, integrating his strategy into the broader canvas of the Federal Government of Nigeria’s Economic Recovery and Growth Plan (ERGP). Having donned key roles under four consecutive governments, his journey of service is unending. Presently, he is the rudder steering the National Action Committee on the African Continental Free Trade Area (AfCFTA). His wisdom and foresight provide the compass, directing the committee towards achieving Nigeria’s strategic national interests. In a candid chat with Funke Babs-Kufeji, this emblematic figure delves deep into his devotion to the nation and spills the beans about his new book, marking his 60th birthday.

You have served Nigeria under four different administrations in different capacities and have been heavily invested in Nigeria’s democracy. Would you say Nigeria truly practices a democratic system of Government, and if not, what should be done differently?

I believe that to the extent of our knowledge, practice and experience, Nigeria truly practices democracy. However, just like any other nation practising democracy, there is constant room for improvement.

Let us not forget that the most advanced democracy in the world, the United States of America, is 246 years old; Nigeria, on the contrary, although it became independent 63 years ago, has only practised a democratic system of governance for 31 years. That, in effect, is less than 50% of our existence. It is, therefore, safe to say that we are a growing democracy. I believe we still have a lot to learn to make our people and systems more responsive to the tenets of democracy.

I must also say that our democracy is really evolving and opening up for greater participation. It is so beautiful to see more of our youths and women getting really involved in the democratic process. It assures me that the future of Nigeria is bright!

Democracy is just a tool; the goal is to give the people a good life.

You are the driver of the Zero Oil plan, an economic blueprint for Nigeria. What so far has been done?

A whole lot, not just done, but achieved. The main goal of the Zero Oil Plan was to shift Nigeria from oil-export dependency to non-oil exportled economic development by maximising our comparative advantage with our diverse product base. There has been an increase in the value of our non-oil exports, and the quantity and quality of value-added products, that is, processed goods, are now being exported instead of just exporting raw materials. Nigeria is now exporting more shea butter, processed agriproducts like cassava chips, spices, processed ginger, ginger oil, cosmetic products, bags, and shoes, to mention a few.

Allow me also to highlight a landmark achievement: in partnership with the Jigawa State Government and WACOT, for the first time, Organic Certification for Sesame Seeds was obtained, and now Organic Sesame Seeds are being exported worldwide at premium prices.

Furthermore, the approach was not just at the finished product level of the value chain; it was observed that Nigeria had declined in the level of Cocoa production, which was affecting our level of Cocoa exports. As a result, farmers were supported with seedlings to increase cocoa yield in the country. On Cashew, there has been a transition from exporting raw cashew nuts to exporting processed cashew nuts.

Steps were also taken to make non-oil exports more inclusive; we created a division for Women in Exports, disaggregated our data to identify women exporters and tailored programmes to enhance their export capabilities, leading to increased women’s participation in nonoil exports. Furthermore, we domesticated the SheTrades initiative in partnership with the International Trade Centre (ITC). We also developed programmes for increasing the number of youths participating in non-oil exports through our Youth Export Development Programme.

At this point, I must mention the achievements of the landmark Export Expansion Facility Programme (EEFP), an end-to-end pilot implementation of the Zero-Oil Plan. The initiatives implemented under the EEFP covered the entire non-oil export ecosystem, addressed capacity gaps, promoted export inclusion, market development and access, enhanced export logistics & infrastructure, improved exports in services, and supported innovative payments systems and export trade facilitation challenges.

Some examples of EEFP interventions’ outcomes are nine Common Facility Centres (CFCs)/Human Capacity Development Centres (HCDC)

in the apparel, shea butter processing, cashew nut processing and leather processing sectors set up nationwide. Five Fumigation Chambers were set up in the North West and North East to reduce the cost of storing horticultural products such as ginger and hibiscus. Eight Domestic Export Warehouses (DEWs) were set up all over the country in a bid to reduce congestion at the ports. Four Export Trade Houses were set up in Egypt, Kenya, China and Saudi Arabia to facilitate the trade of authentic Nigerian products in those markets and increase SMEs’ participation in international trade. I am sure you can quickly see how these initiatives will play a crucial role in increasing the volume of non-oil exports.

Most importantly, in testament to the achievements of the Zero Oil Plan, Nigeria attained 4.82 billion USD in non-oil export value, as reported this year by the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics, the highest value achieved since the agency’s establishment 47 years ago. Furthermore, the non-oil revenue projection of 2.43 trillion NGN is higher than the 1.92 trillion NGN projected for oil revenue. I am sure you can see that the plan is working; now, imagine what it would be like when we pivot to a fullscale implementation of the Zero Oil Plan.

You were quoted to have said in 2016 that in 10 years, Nigeria will exit dependence on oil revenue. Where is Nigeria on this plan after seven years, and do you see the zero-oil plan fully engaged in the next three years?

I remember when I briefed former President Muhammadu Buhari GCFR on the Zero Oil Plan and, more particularly, the EEFP. He asked me how long it would take to achieve the non-oil export target in the Zero Oil Plan. I said Mr. President, it is up to you. I told him the story of President J. F. Kennedy, who directed that the United States of America must have a man on the moon within a decade, which was achieved. I believe that if the highest office of the land prioritises the Zero Oil Plan, we will exceed the targets set out for the Zero Oil Plan. The Zero Oil plan simply states that Nigeria must survive in a world economy where she no longer sells oil.

It is important to recognise that while I conceived the Zero Oil Plan during my tenure as MD/CEO of NEPC, the plan is actually bigger than NEPC; it is a plan that requires participation from all parts of the economy to succeed. So, I reiterate that the Zero Oil Plan’s success is hinged on a whole-of-government buy-in.

Let me also add that the “high Dollar to Naira exchange rate” curse could be a trigger to Zero Oil on the front burner, turning the curse into a blessing. Countries like South Korea and Japan have and continue to leverage the devaluation of their currencies to set very competitive prices for locally produced products on the global market. This has been a key instrument to increase global demand for their products and, in turn, drive their non-oil export growth exponentially. I strongly believe Nigeria can take a leaf All the appointments from this page and create the environment and policies came with a unique to enhance our productive and competitive capabiliset of challenges ties for strong participation in global trade. We must that prepared me to become an export-driven economy.

At the end of last year, you were appointed by the Buhari administration as the Secretary of the National Action Committee on the African Continental Free Trade Area (AfCFTA) for a tenure of four years.

So far, what have you achieved since you assumed this position?

The African Union Assembly of Heads of State and Government’s declaration of the year 2023 as the year

deliver on subsequent appointments. I personally do not see the appointments as separate; rather, I see them as parts of a mosaic that form a beautiful picture when put together.

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COVER

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

for the Acceleration of the AfCFTA implementation is some sort of a matching order. We certainly appreciate the significance of our role, which is clearly cut out, and we need to organise for optimal effectiveness.

Accordingly, I am currently in the process of recalibrating the National Action Committee to enable it to deliver more effectively on its mandate.

Furthermore, I have also itemised high-priority activities for the committee, which include. ● Nigeria joining the 2nd phase of the Guided Trade Initiative (GTI) ● Setting up an AfCFTA Readiness Fund. The realisation of Nigeria’s socio-economic goals for participating in the AfCFTA requires significant financing that will ensure timely implementation of the Trade Readiness initiatives and ensure the Government can enable the participation of all priority sectors. ● A plan to build a 500/1000 Nigerian MSEs pipeline that would participate in the AfCFTA and de-risk them So far, considerable progress has been made on these high-priority activities. All is being put in place to ensure that Nigeria is set to join the second phase of the GTI, which is projected to launch later this month.

I have also been able to establish strategic collaborations with the Organised Private Sector in Nigeria, relevant government agencies and multilateral organisations such as the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP), Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office (FCDO), Overseas Development Institute (ODI), United Nations Economic Commission for Africa (UNECA) and the World Economic Forum (WEF) among others.

Considering the State of transition, the country has been in since I assumed office, we have achieved quite a lot with the resources available to us.

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

who, through an Export Development Fund (EDF) grant, was able to procure machines and increase her t-shirt production capacity to 6,000 t-shirts per day. These are the stories I live for; these are the stories that make me feel fulfilled.

my legal background has helped me with foresight, anticipating issues and being proactive; accordingly, more importantly, it has built a culture of due diligence and thoroughness in me.

I can confidently say that these skills have formed the foundation of my successes in public services

Of all the appointments you have held, which has been the most challenging, and which were you able to cover the most grounds?

This is a very subjective question. I say so because it would be unfair to categorise any of the appointments as more challenging than the others. All the appointments came with a unique set of challenges that prepared me to deliver on subsequent appointments.

I personally do not see the appointments as separate; rather, I see them as parts of a mosaic that form a beautiful picture when put together. Essentially, they are all connected and form an intrinsic part of my story.

Tell us how being a lawyer has helped you in all your appointments.

As a lawyer, I am trained that reason and logic must have its moment.

Being a lawyer equipped me with the skills and knowledge necessary to analyse complex problems, think critically, and develop creative solutions. Furthermore, my legal background has helped me with foresight, anticipating issues and being proactive; accordingly, more importantly, it has built a culture of due diligence and thoroughness in me. I can confidently say that these skills have formed the foundation of my successes in public services. One must have reticence and tact.

What are you most proud of in all your years working for a better Nigeria?

The answer is simply the lives and businesses that have been transformed. When I assumed my position at the NEPC, I ensured everything we did was customer centric. I prioritised the needs of our exporters because our success is hinged on their success. I had absolute clarity of how NEPC must look after my tenure. My doctrine is what I call PLIE, that is, firstly, to develop Policy; secondly, work on Legislation; thirdly, Implementation; and lastly, Enforcement. All in that order Recently, I got a heartwarming message from one of our exporters,

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You recently turned 60 and launched a memoir of stories about your life. Tell us why you decided this was the best time to launch the book and why you will say it is must-read.

I decided to embark on this project first on the clamouring I received from Joop Berkhout, Chairman of Spectrum Books, now Safari Books, who was a great supporter of my late grandfather and always believed I had a story to tell about him and growing up with him.

Berkhout is one of those, like many others, who will always challenge my faithfulness to the values of my late grandfather. Also, I realised it is not my name and must live up to it in every way. I am being held accountable to a surname; hence, the title of my book is “Judged by a Surname”.

I initially wanted to present it on my birthday on the 27th of September, but it is still in the oven, and once it’s done (well done, not medium rare), I will present it.

It must have taken quite some time for someone very busy to put your thoughts on paper. How long did it take you to write this book, and what was the most challenging part?

I have been working on it for about a year; the most challenging part was collecting the memories, which was emotionally draining. Let me quote Tennessee Williams, who said, “I was brought up puritanically, and I did outrage that puritanism.” that’s my story. It’s all in the book.

You were three when Nigeria gained its independence. Tell us what it was like during the country’s early independence. What has changed from how you used to know it?

Everyone in my generation can tell you stories of how good Nigeria was in those days, but as a perennial optimist whose cup is always full, I would say that Nigeria’s better days are right in front of us.

Now that the country recently celebrated its 63rd year of independence, as an elder statesman and a sexagenarian, what are your hopes for Nigeria?

It sounds so strange that I am now an elder. I have always believed in this country. I don’t have any other nationality. My children were all born and raised here. From my life experience, I believe the country will fulfil its destiny as Africa’s brightest star.

As the grandson of the great Oba Femi Awolowo, you seem to be following in your grandfather’s footsteps. What legacy do you hope to leave behind?

My late grandfather left a legacy of service and large shoes to fill. But he always said everyone must carve his niche. His priority was God first, then country, and family came last. To quote Benjamin Disraeli, “man is not the creature of circumstances; circumstances are the creatures of man”.

Destiny demands of me service to my country.

Congratulations on turning 60! Reflecting on your age, what are you most grateful for?

I am most grateful for the lessons shared, the memories forged, and the friendships that have been my constant companions. I am grateful for my family and their love. Most importantly, I am thankful that the very big God has continued to be by my side.

THE

SURVIV

By Dr. Kemi DaSilva-Ibru

Dear Reader, Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature, where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatization and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organization set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society.

WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.

WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre - a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week including public holidays to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counseling, and welfare services which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.

Survival to Triumph: Maria’s Story After completing my National Youth Service in Lagos, I was fortunate enough to be retained at my workplace. This prompted me to move out of the corps lodges and rent an apartment close to my office.

With the support of my parents, I secured a newly developed apartment.

My initial days in the new apartment were marked by a sense of unfamiliarity. I had only interacted with a few of my neighbours. One day, a power outage left my phone and other devices drained. I called the security guard for help with starting my generator.

As I sat down to work on some documents from the office, I heard a knock at my door. Peeking through the peephole, I saw a young man standing outside.

I cautiously opened the door and inquired about his purpose. He introduced himself as “Freddrick” and explained that he lived in the upstairs apartment. I recalled seeing him previously when he had offered me a ride to work, which I had declined due to my wariness of strangers.

Freddrick had come to ask if he could charge his phone since my generator was running. I agreed to help and allowed him into my apartment so he could make an important business call. During our brief interaction, he shared a bit about himself while

RS I mostly listened. After some time, he asked for my phone number, which I gave him before excusing myself to continue working in my room.

However, not long after retreating to my room, I heard footsteps approaching. I looked up to see Freddrick entering my bedroom. Startled, I asked him why he was there, but before I could complete my sentence, he forcibly assaulted me. Despite my attempts to resist and call for help, he overpowered me, raped me, and threatened my life if I ever spoke of the incident. He claimed to be a member of a dangerous cult and warned against reporting the assault.

Frightened and in pain, I watched as he left but not before locking the door behind him. Exhausted, hungry, and emotionally shaken, I managed to make a cup of tea and retreated to my bedroom, where I cried myself to sleep. I woke up on Sunday morning, unable to attend church due to my fear of leaving the apartment. I was plagued by migraines, flashbacks, and physical pain, with my body sore from the traumatic experience. I attempted to contact my office to inform them of my sickness but could only send an email. My broken phone screen prevented me from making calls or reaching out for help.

Concerned by my unresponsiveness to calls, my parents sent my younger brother to check on me.

When he arrived and saw my condition, he decided to fix my phone screen. Upon repairing it, we discovered messages on my WhatsApp containing explicit videos and demands for two million naira from the perpetrator, threatening to share the videos with my contacts and on social media. My brother, in a fit of anger and concern, reached out to a senior police officer for assistance.

We reported the incident to the police, provided our statements, and were subsequently referred for medical evaluation, treatment, and psychological counselling at the WARIF CENTRE. The remarkable thing was that all the services at the centre were provided free of charge. The counsellor at the centre helped me understand that the assault was not my fault, restored my lost self-esteem, and taught me coping strategies to deal with trauma.

I also had the privilege of attending monthly group therapy sessions, which aided me in overcoming self-blame, anxiety, guilt, flashbacks, and insomnia.

Meanwhile, the perpetrator was apprehended, and his associates were tracked down. Many other survivors came forward after his arrest, and he was eventually charged and sentenced.

It has been a year since the incident, and I can confidently say that I have regained my confidence.

I recently obtained admission to pursue my master’s degree at a prestigious university abroad, and I was honoured as the employee of the year at a quarterly meeting in my organization last month.

All these positive changes in my life would not have been possible without the support of WARIF and its dedicated staff. I am immensely grateful to the WARIF team and commend them for their invaluable work. *Real name of the survivor changed for confidentiality

Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone and it is not your fault. Help is available.

If you have been raped or you know someone who has, please visit us at: The WARIF Centre 6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on 0800-9210-0009 For questions or more information please contact: info@ warifng.org

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

6 COMPELLING REASONS TO MAKE JOURNALING YOUR DAILY HABIT.

GASLIGHTING:

THE INVISIBLE ABUSE THAT LEAVES SCARS ON OUR MENTAL HEALTH

By Bukola Amoboye

By Oroma Jumbo

You’ve probably heard your favourite YouTuber or Instagram influencer raving about the wonders of journaling lately. But let me tell you, this isn’t just a passing trend. It’s an age-old practice that everyone should be diving into. Journaling is more than just scribbling in a diary – it’s a ticket to a clearer mind, a better understanding of oneself, and a more balanced life. Still not convinced? Here are six rock-solid reasons why you should embrace journaling:

Gaslighting! It’s not just a buzzword that’s been trending in pop culture. It’s real, it’s sneaky, and it could be hiding in the shadows of our relationships.

Gaslighting, for the uninitiated, is the dark art of making someone doubt their reality. Imagine someone secretly moving your keys daily and then telling you you’re forgetful!

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Connect with Your Emotions: Imagine having a secret friend who’s always there to listen. Journaling lets you unravel your thoughts, emotions, and musings, helping you tap into your emotional well-being.

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Celebrate Your Wins: Remember that tiny goal you achieved last week? Write it down! Journaling helps you keep tabs on your achievements, big or small and pushes you to strive for more.

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A Shield Against Mental Health Woes: Spill your worries, joys, and gratitude onto paper. This act alone can be a game-changer in warding off feelings of gloom and focusing on the sunnier side of life.

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Sharpen Your Problem-Solving Skills: Got a tricky issue? Jot it down. Writing can declutter your mind, helping you see challenges from a fresh perspective and potentially sparking innovative solutions.

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Elevate Your Communication Game: Regularly pouring your thoughts onto paper can drastically improve how you articulate ideas to others. It’s like flexing your communication muscles!

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Find Your Zen: Overwhelmed?

Stressed? Let your journal be your sanctuary.

By channelling your anxieties and worries onto the page, you might just find that weight on your shoulders a bit lighter.

RECOGNISING THE TRICKS IN THE BOOK

We all need to become detectives in our lives to catch these under-the-radar manoeuvres. Here’s how these sneaky operators work their “magic”: The Silent Treatment: Ever get the cold shoulder when trying to make a point? It’s the manipulator saying, “I don’t hear you,” without uttering a word.

“Was it like that? Really?”: That’s the gaslighter making you second-guess a memory.

“That thing you saw? Nah, it never happened; your imagination is playing tricks on you again .” Hmm...

The Charm Offensive: This can range from buttering you up with sweetness to the ol’ emotional tug-of-war, using something personal to pull your strings.

THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER Gaslighting is more than just a head game.

It’s a heart game, too. Those under its spell might: Feel like they’re on an emotional island.

Keep second-guessing their every move.

Start making excuses for the manipulator’s theatrics.

Feel they’re always walking on a tightrope.

Choose silence over sharing.

FINDING YOUR WAY OUT Breaking free from the gaslighting maze is no small feat. It’s like finding the exit in a hall of mirrors. But you’ve got this! Surround yourself with a cheer squad of trusted pals. Find that one friend who always knows how to say, “I’ve got your back.” And if you need a little extra map to navigate the mind maze, professional “tour guides” (a.k.a therapists) can offer a helping hand.

Gaslighting, for the uninitiated, is the dark art of making someone doubt their reality.

The Master of Distraction: Just when you think you’re onto them, they’ll change the topic or make you doubt your own thoughts.

It’s the conversational equivalent of “Look! A squirrel!”

Making Mountains Out of Molehills: By playing down your feelings, they’re making you wonder if you’re just being “too sensitive.”

The Convenient Forgetfulness: “Did I say that? I don’t recall.” Oh, they recall. They just hope you won’t.

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Activewear Reign:

The Rise of Petals Lagos

By Oroma Jumbo

VANESSA OCHI

I hated the idea of waiting weeks for a gym outfit from overseas.

It seemed so... impractical. And thrift shops?

They didn’t offer the freshness and innovation I craved

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If you’re a fitness lover in Lagos (or even if you’re not), chances are you’ve seen or heard of Petals Lagos in almost every local gym or on countless social media feeds – this activewear brand is everywhere. And why shouldn’t it be? It’s stylish, comfortable, and exudes a trendy vibe that’s hard to miss.

But have you ever wondered about the mastermind behind the vibrant brand? Let’s pull back the curtain and introduce you to the force that is Vanessa Ochi. Born and raised in Lagos, Vanessa’s journey from recognising the gaping hole in the activewear market to establishing Petals Lagos reads like an entrepreneurial fairytale.

“I hated the idea of waiting weeks for a gym outfit from overseas. It seemed so... impractical. And thrift shops? They didn’t offer the freshness and innovation I craved,” Vanessa shares.

This frustration led her to launch Petals Lagos in 2021, which today isn’t just an activewear brand but an entire movement.

While activewear remains the brand’s core, Vanessa’s innovative spirit has seen the brand branch out. Think sports accessories – chic water bottles, reliable protein shakers, and those all-important workout mats that literally lay the foundation for a solid workout. And with plans brewing to make Petals Lagos internationally recognised, the future looks bright for Vanessa and her team.

“I often start my day brainstorming. Fresh ideas, unique designs, and then there’s the rigorous quality checks,” Vanessa admits, diving into the everyday life of managing Petals Lagos. Clearly, this isn’t just business – it’s personal for her.

What really sets Petals Lagos apart? Vanessa believes it’s the brand’s unwavering commitment to authenticity and quality. “We’ve become the go-to choice because we provide not just apparel but an identity. Our customers aren’t just wearing a brand; they’re part of a community.”

Like almost everything in life, Vanessa’s entrepreneurial journey hasn’t been without its hurdles. Infrastructure issues, power outages, currency fluctuations, and competition are everyday challenges. But with resilience and a clear vision, she’s navigated these with grace and determination.

“The joy of entrepreneurship? Seeing someone confidently flaunting their Petals Lagos outfit, knowing we played a part in their fitness journey,” Vanessa says, her eyes sparkling. And as for her plans? “We’re looking at expanding beyond Nigeria. I envision Petals Lagos on global ramps, in international fashion publications, and, of course, on fitness enthusiasts worldwide.”

When Vanessa isn’t hustling for Petals Lagos, she’s binging a movie, losing herself in a book, or spending time with loved ones. Because, at the end of the day, it’s about balance. For Vanessa, Petals Lagos isn’t just a brand; it’s a lifestyle. And if you’ve not yet gotten yourself a piece of this trend, trust us – you’re missing out!

ASA: ELEVATING NIGERIAN CUISINE

By Charles Didee Eta

O

ften overlooked in the global fine dining arena, Nigerian cuisine hasn’t always been given the regal spotlight it deserves. That is, until ASA arrived on the scene, aiming to reframe our perception of Nigerian food with gourmet sophistication. Masterminded by the gifted Chef Gbolabo Adebanki, better known as Chef Gibbs, ASA set out to present traditional Nigerian dishes in a contemporary fashion. Gibbs, who also holds the esteemed title of Vice President of the Culinary Arts Practitioners Association of Nigeria (CAPA), has long championed African recipes, believing them poised to captivate the world.

To mark his birthday, Chef Gibbs curated a unique dining experience at La Tervena’s exquisite ‘La Bodega’ space. Paying homage to Nigeria’s rich cultural tapestry, he designed a menu that celebrated dishes from the nation’s major ethnic groups and introduced a dress code reminiscent of African royalty.

Upon arrival, guests were welcomed with captivating Nigerian music, theatrical performances, and servers adorned in traditional African attire, setting the tone for the night. The table setup featured a delightful touch – miniature calabashes holding menus elegantly tied with red ribbons.

Before the culinary journey began, Chef Gibbs introduced ‘True water’, a refreshing blend of sugar cane, lemon grass, watermelon, lemon juice, lemon zest, and cinnamon sticks. This wasn’t just a drink; it was a nod to Nigeria’s Osun River and its cultural significance as a source of fertility and rejuvenation.

The dining experience unfolded with “Amuse Bouche”, an appetiser that delighted the palate with jollof arancini, ata salsa, cheese, and basil. Then, representing the NORTH, the main course featured a sumptuous farmer’s soup with tozo confit and yajii croutons enriched with dambonama oil and efinrin.

The next dish hailed from the SOUTH, capturing its diverse culinary heritage. Chef Gibbs creatively adapted ‘Tostones’, Spanish for plantain cubes, reminiscent of the southern ‘boli’. This delicacy was artfully filled with seafood and beef, complemented by a banga mayo sauce.

The EAST found representation through a delectable rendition of the street favourite, ‘Nkwobi’, which was presented with cowleg, stock fish, faux gratin, mozzarella, parmesan, and a drizzle of palm oil. From the WEST, the “Lamb Shank” made its appearance – a meticulously braised goat meat paired with Obe Ata Couli and a medley of vegetables and purees, rendering a taste extravaganza.

Finally, the dessert named “Oyinbo” acknowledged the influences of colonialism on Nigerian culture. A tantalising brulee cheesecake accompanied by iru creme anglaise and zobo compote concluded the evening, leaving guests yearning for more. ‹ASA› didn›t just serve food; it presented a narrative. It was a testament to Nigeria›s rich culinary history and the potential it holds. This evening should be marked as a turning point in Nigerian gourmet dining, and we can only hope that it becomes a regular celebration, perhaps even an annual event commemorating Nigeria’s independence. The message is clear – while Nigerian dishes might not conventionally feature in fine dining, they deserve to be celebrated and showcased to the world. The journey has begun, and it promises to be a tantalising ride.

CHEF GIBBS

GIBBS WATER

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Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Sunday, October 15, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10377

Fabulously Floral Who needs a bouquet when you can BE the bouquet?

Floral dresses aren’t just patterns; they’re a celebration of nature’s own runway.

Mix it with vibrant accessories and witness the doubletakes. Yes, darling, let them stare!

Mighty-Midi Magic Looking for drama without the fuss? Enter the midi dress. Flowy or figure-hugging, it’s elegance that meets the calf. From graduation caps to wedding claps, this dress is your ticket to timeless chic.

YEMISI AKINDE

The Day-to-Night Ever wished for a dress that’s like a chameleon? Meet the shift dress! Vibrant and versatile, it’s your BFF. From coffee spills at work to cocktail sips in the evening. Its secret?

It’s a timeless class that flatters every silhouette.

ANITA ADETOYE

The Maxi Think of it as a vacation you wear! The maxi dress isn’t just a dress; it’s a mood – embodying sunshine, relaxed vibes, and total ease.

Perfect for brunch with the gang or a lazy beach day. Tip: Don a sun hat, throw on some shades, and voilà! Sun-kissed goddess vibes coming through.

IT’S ALL IN THE DRESS

By Funke Babs Kufeji

Ever wondered how to sweep into any occasion like you own the room? The secret? It’s all in the dress, darling! Let’s embark on a sartorial journey of some must-haves for every wardrobe. Ready, set, strut!

CHI ADOGU

Wrap-tastic Wonder If life’s a gift, the wrap dress is the ribbon! With endless styles to twirl around in, it’s a hug for apple and pear shapes. With splashes of colours and patterns, consider it your style Swiss knife – always ready, always ravishing.

IFEOMA NWOBU

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A-Lovely A-line Imagine a dress that gives a highfive to every body type. Athletic, curvy, or somewhere in-between – the A-line’s got your back. Or should we say, your waist? It’s like that friendly neighbour that everyone loves.

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