THISDAY STYLE MAGAZINE 10TH APRIL 2022

...NOT IN THISDAY STYLE? THEN YOU’RE NOT IN STYLE

SUNDAY, APRIL 10, 2022

C

METARMOPHOSIS OF

CHRISTINE DOJA OTEDOLA @ 90 We are faster, closer and safer With our scale, expertise and deep desire to satisfy your needs, we will deliver exceptional experiences for the moments that matter the most to you.

THISDAY Style Vol. 22, No. 9796 Sunday, March 6, 2022

STYLE&DESIGN

EDITOR’S TAKE EDITOR’S TAKE

THISDAY Style Vol. 22, No. 9796 Sunday, March 6, 2022

STYLE&DESIGN

THISDAY Style Vol. 22, No. 9796 Sunday, March 6, 2022

STYLE&DESIGN

STYLE&DESIGN

HRA

THISDAY Style Vol. 22, No. 9796 Sunday, March 6, 2022

EDITOR’S TAKE

COVERNOTE NOTE COVER

S yle COVER NOTE

...NOT IN THISDAY STYLE? THEN YOU’RE NOT IN STYLE

CONTENT CONTENT

SUNDAY, APRIL 2022 MARCH3,27, 2022

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PART 1

WOMEN IN POLITICS

MICHAEL PREST BEHIND THE MYTH

GUT DRIVEN!

A cat with nine political lives, Rotimi Amaechi, is one of the few Nigerian politicians who, against all odds, has managed to have uninterrupted A cat an with nine political political career for lives, Rotimi Amaechi, 23 years from his wife of the is one of the Lady Christine Doja few Otedola, days as Speaker Nigerian politicians former Governor of Lagos state, late Sir of theAgbolade RiversOtedola State who, against all odds, Michael turned 90 recently.

Her joyto and jubilation for House ofuntold Assembly, has managed this special was there then Governor of for all to see have anday, uninterrupted at her recent birthday celebrations where Rivers with KONYE political career for the nonagenarian walked with the grace CHELSEA 23 years from his and agility of a woman decades younger.

NWABOGOR and days as Speaker She was surrounded by family, friends FUNKE BABS of the Rivers State and loved ones.

KUFEJI, House of Assembly, KONYE NWABOGOR & FUNKE then Governor BABS-KUFEJI report…of Rivers with KONYE CHELSEA NWABOGOR and FUNKE BABS KUFEJI,

FASHION DIRECTOR/EXECUTIVE EDITOR

I

have never been one to take ‘boil-water-in-theright-temperature topics too seriously. First off, l believe they are not telling us anything new. For heaven’s sakes everyone knows the right state of mind plays a very significant role in our outlook of life.

What are you tellingEDITOR us that we do not already FASHION DIRECTOR/EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR/EXECUTIVE EDITOR know? ‘inspirational rarely come up haveMost never been one tospeakers’ take ‘boil-water-in-thehen l look at the Septuagenarwith anything new.

There’s nothing fresh theyoff, arel right-temperature topics too seriously.

First ians, Octogenarians and Nobringing the are table that has not been mentioned believetothey not telling us anything new. For nagenarians of cynicism today, l marvel CELEBRATING LADY DOJA CHRISTINE OTEDOLA AT 90 several times before.

One might say plays heaven’s sakes everyone knows the right state of A cat with nine lives, Rotimi Amaechi, is Recently, all roads led topolitical Epe as Lady Christine Doja Otedola celebrated at how strong some of them amind major roleainvery suchsignificant jaded response but the truth of is, plays role in our outlook her 90th birthday.

In honour and glory to God, to mark this occasion she one of the few Nigerian politicians who, against all stillyou are.search In fact,for some in their dedicated to Church Auditorium of St Peter’s Catholic Church, Odoragunshin, until you seek the truth within you, life. What are you telling us that we do not already odds, Page 3 90s and sometimes even over which she committed to the service of the Lord. most ofMost these textbook responses are what know? speakers’ rarely comethey up 100, can still‘inspirational walk unaided.

It makes me wonder simply are...tried and tested predictable answers. with anything new.reality There’s nothingtimes freshridden they are whether, with the of today’s No one can wear your problem as well as you do. No bringing to the table that has not been mentioned with its daily challenges, the average Nigerian can one can truly walk those steps you are walking.

You several times milestones. before. One Itmight say cynicism live to these has been said thatplays the A cat with nine political lives, Rotimi Amaechi, is have to dig and findNigerian a way toiswangle alife major role in jaded response but thethrough truth span ofdeep thesuch average gauged at 52is, one of the few Nigerian politicians who, against all whatever issues are plaguing you.

Don’t get me or thereabouts.

A most when until you seek the truth frightening you search thought for within you, odds, Page 3 wrong, help responses helps as do compared to the lifespan of people in inspirational much most ofprofessional these textbook are whatmore they talks...but you have to be able to assimilate and progressive and advanced countries.

The only way simply are...tried and tested predictable answers. we can try to avoid such short lifespans is to focus play it out way that suits you You are your No one canthe wear your problem as best. well as you do.

No on healthy living.

As they say, after a certain age, FASHION DIRECTOR/EXECUTIVE EDITOR best soldier.

No one can want the best for you more one can truly walk those steps you are walking. You RUTH OSIME 08111847085 you you are what you eat.

It is not easy to maintain the than want it for yourself.

You are your own best have to dig deep and find a way to wangle through balance of keeping fit and staying healthy because advocate. state mind andyou. thinking Dr Doyin Okupe At 70 whatever Your issues areofplaguing Don’tpositively get me EDITOR PRINT most times, the ‘naughty’ indulgence helps reregardless of obstacles and challenges boilstodown OLUFUNKE BABS-KUFEJI 08111847086 wrong, professional help helps as do inspirational lieve stress and gives one a temporary ‘feel-good’ to you and onlyhave you at oftothe day. Nobody talks...but to the be end able assimilate and factor. Butyou as with everything in life, the road less EDITOR DIGITAL All about the little will carry that mantle for you.you Thebest. question is your how play it out the way that suits You are KONYE NWABOGOR 08111847087 travelled always provides the best results. Nothing White Dress. do you get to that place of inner How FASHION DIRECTOR/EXECUTIVE EDITOR best soldier. one want thecontentment? best for youafter more good comesNo easy.

Itcan takes a lot of discipline RUTH OSIME 08111847085 Page 3 SENIOR ART DESIGNER do you rise above and exhale? than you it for yourself.

You are your own best which, it want eventually becomes a habit.

Many lives MATHIAS ARCHIBONG 07054965500 GET THAT GLOW UP...The Journey To Living Your Best The Survivors advocate.

Your state of mind thinking positively have changed for the betterand when stringent steps EDITOR PRINT Life gives you several achieve the peace of Timeless Shoes to to better health were ways taken and adhered to. regardless of obstacles andto challenges boils down OLUFUNKE BABS-KUFEJI 08111847086 CONTRIBUTOR mind you yearn for.

We carry a lot of baggage that Recently our cover personality LADY CHRISTINE covet for a life time.

ISIOMA USIADE to you and only you at the end of the day. Nobody Getting Ready Faster EDITOR DIGITAL only usOTEDOLA can No can do it for us.

The DOJA turned 90! with Page All about the little8 will carry thatdiscard. mantle for one you.She Themoved question isthe how KONYEGUEST NWABOGOR 08111847087 CORRESPONDENTS grace and agility of a woman decades younger… tasks mentioned in the article are not as difficult White Dress. do you get to that place of inner contentment? How AZUKA OGUJIUBA with norise walking She was upright andactually! watchto achieve and ifstick! anything, rather simple Your Style, Scent AllYour about the little3 Page SENIORZINA ARTANUMUDU DESIGNER do you above and exhale? ing her, you could see her inner strength and best MATHIAS ARCHIBONG It’s over matter. doesn’t JOANNA 07054965500 MACGREGOR GETmind THAT GLOW UP...TheDecluttering Journey To Living Yourbegin Best White Dress. of all - peace of mind.

We should all take abeyond leaf SEYI ALAWODE and end with our wardrobes.

It goes way Life gives you several ways to achieve the peace of Page 3 Timeless Shoes to Stay Fit & Healthy While CONTRIBUTOR fromThe heremotional, book and learn not and to take life too seri-are that. physical spiritual areas mind you yearn for. We carry a lot of baggage that covet Travelling for a life time.

ISIOMA USIADE PHOTOGRAPHER ously. also other discard. placesNo where only one can do it for us. The TY BELLO All about the little8 Page Letususcan learn to forgive GUEST CORRESPONDENTS decluttering is sometimes tasks in the article are not as difficult White morementioned and spend time Moisturize The Skin From StyleDress.

AZUKA OGUJIUBA DIRECTOR, PRINT PRODUCTION required for us to get to ‘that to achieve and if anything, rather simple actually!

Page All about the little3 with those who bring ZINA ANUMUDU Healthy While Traveling CHUKS ONWUDINJO 08077092196 place’ of inner peace.

It’s mind over Decluttering doesn’t begin JOANNA MACGREGOR some light intomatter. our lives.

White Dress.

SEYI ALAWODE and end with our wardrobes.

It goes way beyond Page 3 Instagram: @thisdaystyle | Twitter: @thisdaystyleon | Instagram: @thisdaystyle | Website: www.thisdaystyle.ng that. The emotional, physical and spiritual areas are 2 PHOTOGRAPHER also other places where @thisdaystyle | @thisdaystyleon | www.thisdaystyle.ng TY BELLO All about the little decluttering is sometimes White Dress.

DIRECTOR, PRINT PRODUCTION required for us to get to ‘that Page 3 CHUKS ONWUDINJO 08077092196 place’ of inner peace.

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Society

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Daddy Troubles

S yle Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

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LADY CHRISTINE DOJA OTEDOLA celebrates 90! y Christine Doja OtRecently, all roads led to Epe as Lad In honour and glory edola celebrated her 90th birthday. dedicated a Church to God, to mark this occasion she rch, Odoragunshin, Auditorium to St Peter’s Catholic Chu of the Lord. It was which she committed to the service received guests indeed a glorious day for her as she in her honour. at the Auditorium after the service held St Patrick’s School This was followed by a reception at Her son Timi perground with a beehive of activities. ildren Cuppy and formed as well as two of her grandch s that brought the Tolani. All three artistes belted out tune she moved with the nonagenarian to the dance floor as decades younger. steadiness and grace of a woman nant speeches Some of her children made some poig with smiles all as well which made her face beam ed a most absorbing throughout the evening. It was inde of the nuclear family event as all friends and loved ones beautifully built with rose to the occasion. The hall was te adorning the walls the colours of the day, blue and whi was at his best and ceiling. As usual, King Sunny Ade ting on their seats as he got the crowd moving and gyra provoking lyrics. with his melodious and often thought an who herself, has It was truly a day befitting of a wom is! said she is truly blessed and she sure

NDUKA OBAIGBENA

MUYIWA BAKARE

SAM IWUAJOKU

DERIN OSOBA

KEMI ADEOSUN

TONY ELUMELU

GOV GODWIN OBASEKI OF EDO STATE & DELE MOMODU

ARCHBISHOP ADEWALE MARTINS

ENIOLA & AYOBAMI BELLO

NKIRU ANUMUDU, MO ABUDU, RUTH & OMOME OSIME

FEMI & DOJA OTEDOLA

ALIKO DANGOTE

NUHU RIBADU

GOV OLUSEGUN OSOBA

TUNDE FOLAWIYO

SEGUN ONIRU, SENAMI & GOV JAMES IBORI

UN PHOTO: KUNLE OGUNFUYI | SUNDAY ADIG

GOV BUKOLA & TOYIN SARAKI PRES OLUSEGUN OBASANJO

GOV KAYODE FAYEMI OF EKITI STATE

NNAMDI OKONKWO

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VICE PRES OF REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA, YEMI OSINBAJO

LOLA IDAHOR & TOLA OYE

GOV PETER OBI

HRM SAHEED ELEGUSHI

GOV DAPO ABIODUN OF OGUN STATE

GODWIN EMEFIELE

MAIDEN IBRU

SEGUN AWOLOWO & FEMI PEDRO

BOLA SHAGAYA & GOV GBENGA DANIEL

LADI BALOGUN

KAYODE ODUKOYA, JOHN & SOLA MOMOH & TAYO AYENI

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S yle Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

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AKINWUNMI ADESHINA

TIMI ALAIBE

GOV BABAJIDE SANWO OLU OF LAGOS STATE

HRM ENITAN ADEWUSI

FLORENCE & TOLANI OTEDOLA

LANRE TEJUOSO

SEGUN SENBANJO, SEGUN AGBAJE & TAYO

WALE EDUN

OLA, LOREA GWO

JIDE COKER

AMUSAN

SENA ANTHONY

NOGGIE MEGISSON

GREG UANSERU

COLE WESTON, ZOE OTEDOLA, ZARI OTED

WALE BABALAKIN

MAIRO BASHIR

TIMI OTEDOLA

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TEMI OTEDOLA & EAZI

DEMOLA ADEYEMI BERO

DESIGN

STYLE

RAZAQ ISA

ERNEST EBI

GOV NIYI ADEBAYO

ASUE IGHODALO

ADEMOLA AKINRELE

GOV IBIKUNLE AMOSUN

SEGUN OLUGBOYEGUN

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S yle Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

dr doyin okupe at 70

SEGUN SEBANJO

JIDE COKER

OLUMIDE SOFOWORA

GBENGA OBADARA

IYABO ANISULOWO

the Balmoral Top politicians and monarchs stormed Hotel, Victoria Convention Centre, Federal Palace presidential aide, Island Lagos recently when former Dr. Doyin Okupe physician and prince of Iperu Remo, wives, family memmarked his 70th birthday. Okupe’s out to celebrate bers, friends and associates turned service at Christ Okupe after a Thanksgiving church bratory book Church Marina. There was also a cele Nigeria Institute presentation of Okupe’s memoirs at d a day earlier. of International Affairs, Victoria Islan

SOCIETY

HIGH

SOCIETY

HIGH

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PHOTO: ABIODUN AJALA

OLUKAYODE AKINDELE IDI FAROUK

DOYIN & ADURALERE OKUPE

LADY LULU

BOLAJI AYORINDE YEMI OGUNBIYI

FLORENCE ITA-GIWA

BISI OLATILO

SAM ANANI

MR & MRS YEMI LAWAL

LADI KUBOYEJO

CHRIS OKUNOWO

BEN OBI SEGUN AWOLOWO

SEGUN ADESEGUN TAYO AYENI

MR & MRS SEYI ROBERTS

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LEKE OSHUNNIYI

EMMANUELLA ADIGWE

DUNNI OPAYEMI

BOLAJI OLADEINDE

OLUKAYODE ENITAN

MUSILIU OBANIKORO

FUNSO LAWAL

WALE OKUPE

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S yle Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

COVER

Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

20s

METAMORPHOSIS OF

CHRISTINE DOJA OTEDOLA @ 90!

Given the chance again, l pray that God gives me the privilege of marrying the same man. I acknowledge my husband, the late Sir Michael, as the epitome of my success in life. Also, my family, in no small measure have contributed to my selffulfillment.

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Born into a good Christian home in 1932, Christine Doja Otedola attended her first call at school at Baptist School, Ogbogbo then on to Baptist Girls School and Baptist Teacher’s Training College both in Idi-Aba, Abeokuta after which, she travelled to Britain to attend Regent Street Polytechnic to obtain a certificate in Catering. She was then employed as the Chief Caterer of the University of Lagos where she earned the nickname of “Madam Efficiency” by students and staff alike.

Mama Otedola married her husband, former Governor of Lagos State, late Sir Michael Agbolade Otedola after six years of courtship.

Their marraige is blessed with many children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. As a Governor’s wife, to her, the outcome was a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly.

She travelled to all the nooks and crannies of Lagos state while at the same time crisscrossing the country interacting with people from all walks of life, positively impacting their lives. But on the bad and ugly side, politics denied her her freedom as well as her quiet and simple way of life. So needless to say, when the military took over power after just two years of their abode at Marina Governor’s Lodge, Mama took to the dance floor and on to Odoragushin they went!

Otedola’s devotion to Church has involved her in many of its activities. She was the Chairman of All Purposes Committee for four years during which she successfully organized the Annual Parish Harvest. She was also an active member of Ladies of Lumumba and President of Christian Mothers at St Anthony’s, Gbaja.

Till date, she remains the Vice President at the Catholic Front-liners Society of St Sebastian Cathedral, Ijebu Ode. At 85, she erected a Grotto in honour of Mother Mary. In 2020, the foundation of the new church was laid by Monsignor Philip Hoteyin amongst others.

Over the years, Otedola has had mysterious encounters with God as a Catholic, the latest one being when she heard a Voice saying, “Doja, you will attain the age of 90 and after that, a decision will be made on what next to do, either to take you away or extend your life time.” She replied with a prayer asking the Voice to help her build a church where her 90th birthday will be celebrated. A dream that has come true.

Mission accomplished.

Otedola fondly says, given the chance again, God should give her the privilege of marrying the same man.

She acknowledges her husband, the late Sir Michael, as the epitome of her success in life and also notes that her family, in no small measure have contributed to her self-fulfillment. Her untold joy and happiness was there for all to see at her recent birthday celebrations where she walked with the grace and agility of a woman decades younger. The glow on her face was priceless as she danced the day away surrounded by family, friends and loved ones.

KONYE NWABOGOR & FUNKE BABS-KUFEJI report…

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60s

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80s

Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

COVER

THE

SURVIV

By Dr. Kemi DaSilva-Ibru

Dear Reader, Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature, where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgement or stigmatization and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organization set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers initiatives in health, education and community service.

I had always heard that “breaking the silence” is a crucial step in healing from the trauma of rape and sexual violence. Despite knowing this, I could not summon the courage to report the abusers throughout the period I was being molested. Fear indeed is a silent killer, and it can make anyone lose their sense of reasoning.

TRIBUTES FROM FAMILY… You have made me see the beauty in giving, loving, patience and perseverance, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you do.

did not let me alone

AYO- SON

Grandma, you’ve left me with a legacy of truth, joy, compassion and, above all, love, everything that really matters in life. T

When you look back over 90 years, I hope that your memories are warm ones.

JASON GRANDSON

MONIOLUWA SEGUN-IDAHOR – GRAND DAUGHTER

Grandma, you’ve touched my life in ways you cannot imagine.

Thank you for instilling such wonderful values into your children who have then passed them on to your grandchildren.

You are the emotional compass of the family in the good times and strength in the bad.

PETER OLUWAFEMI ADEMOLA OTEDOLASON She exemplifies the beauty of being and exhibits the grace of existence.

TIMI- SON On behalf of my husband, the young adults and their spouses, we thank God for having you in our lives.

OMOLOLA TAIWO SEGUN-IDAHOR TWIN DAUGHTER God blessed you with the gift of dreams and you always share those dreams with maturity and wisdom when it has to do with any members of the family.

TOLA- TWIN DAUGHTER You are my cushion when I fall You help in times of trouble; You support me whenever I call Mom, I am the person I am today because you

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10 DOLLAR THE GREAT- SON

IFEOLUWA “CUPPY” OTEDOLA- GRAND DAUGHTER We have so much more to learn from you as you continue to share your wisdom with us.

ZOE OTEDOLA GRAND DAUGHTER I pray God grants you serenity on all your future endeavours, and may you continue to grace us all with your angelic energy for years to come.

ZARI OTEDOLA GRAND SON For all the life lessons learnt directly and indirectly. Thank you.

OLUWAFERANMI SEGUN-IDAHOR – GRAND SON

You have come a long way in so many dimensions of your life - and it is truly inspiring.

TIWI- GRAND DAUGHTER

TIFE- GRAND SON I value and cherish all the memories we’ve shared and all the wisdom you’ve bestowed upon me over the years.

TUNSHE OTEDOLA- GRAND SON You are a gift to all the lives you have touched.

TISHE OTEDOLA- GRAND DAUGHTER This is the first time we have all been together, creating memories for us all to treasure.

RIO, ZARA and ENZO- GREAT GRAND CHILDREN

Here is my story.

My name is Amaka*, I am an orphan. I lost my parents within a 3-months interval. My mother became ill after having our last born Ugochukwu and she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. My dad, who was a carpenter used his entire savings to care for my mother in the hospital. When the hospital saw that the chances of her survival were slim, they suggested we took her home to care for her until her death.

The stress eventually took its toll on my dad. His physical and mental health were affected and deteriorated rapidly. One afternoon, while at school, I was summoned to the hospital where I was informed that my dad had been admitted for a migraine. I was 17 years old and in my final year at Secondary School. I had no clue as to what to do with two ailing parents. In addition to this, I had two younger siblings to care for. My dad remained ill throughout that term, so, I dropped out of school to take care of them. At this point, extended family members had gotten tired of shouldering the financial responsibilities. I began to do menial jobs like washing clothes and cleaning houses for people around to help feed and take care of my younger ones while my relatives paid their school fees.

One day, I left the hospital to go prepare a quick meal for my dad; when I returned, I was not allowed into his room. The doctor requested to see me, and I was given the terrible news that my dad died. I wept till I had no more tears to shed. My father was buried quickly as my ill mum still needed our attention. There was no time to waste grieving, I had to quickly shift my focus to taking care of my mother. However, barely three months after, my mother passed away too and this led to the most traumatizing moments of my life.

The entire incident had a psychological effect on me. I had constant nightmares and I was lost in thought most of the day. This went on for more than a year. My dad’s relatives took me to the village to use traditional medicine to treat my ‘condition’, but of course, I didn’t get any better. After all of this, one of my uncles, Emeka, who had gotten married 2 years earlier suggested to the family that he and his wife would adopt me as his daughter.

They agreed and that was how I became a member of the household of Mr. & Mrs. Emeka.

I was 19 years old when I moved into their house. My other siblings were split among other relatives, my younger sister was living in the northern part of the country, while my brother lived in the middle belt region. Uncle

Emeka assured my relatives that I would be enrolled back in school to complete my secondary school education and continue to a higher institution. But, because it was the middle of the second term, I had to wait until a new session began. Uncle Emeka asked if I was interested in any vocation, and I choose to learn fashion designing. He also registered me for extra moral classes in the evenings when I returned from my tailoring classes.

My uncle owned his business. A logistic and supply business where he had dispatch riders working for him while he operated from the head office on the island. Aunty – as I refer to my uncle’s wife – worked a shift job. She had to alternate weekly between day and night shifts. She was an easy-going woman and all she required was my active participation in assigned household chores. After about a year I transitioned back to school and began to heal mentally. Things began to look up.

One fateful afternoon, my uncle came back from work as usual. As he went to his room to take his bath, I went to dish his lunch and kept it where he would usually sit to eat. After a while, I heard him calling to me to come to the room. I wondered if everything was okay as I went to answer his call. On getting to the room, uncle Emeka asked me to sit on the bed. I sat at the edge of the bed, but he requested that I moved closer because he wanted to have a word with me. The next thing I knew, he pounced on me and tried to take off my clothes. I struggled and shouted, but he overpowered me, tore my clothes, and proceeded to rape me. The experience was so painful, I cried throughout as he held me down and violated me.

After he finished, he then began to plead for forgiveness. He said he did not know what came over him. He then threatened that if I told anyone, he would throw me out of his house. I got up, walked out of his room, went to my room, and continued sobbing. I did not know how long it took, but I eventually fell asleep. The next day, he woke up and went to work as if nothing happened. I did not understand his silence, but I began to avoid him too. Fortunately for me, the following week, my uncle’s wife was on day shifts, so I had a companion and I tried spending more time with her to ease my pain. sometimes, I felt I should confide in her, but I never was able to summon the courage to do it.

Three months after the first incident, on a week when my aunty was on night shift, uncle Emeka came back from work and called me to his room. I refused to answer.

He got angry and came over to drag me to his room and forcefully had his way, raping me for the second time. The only difference this time was, that he did not let me go until he had gone three rounds and was exhausted. He threatened me with a knife and told me, that he would kill me if I ever dared to expose him. From that moment on, it became a usual practice, and I began to endure it. He had sex with me at least three times a week, whenever his wife was on the

night shift. I began to have mood swings and my performance in school dropped. The school authorities called me when my teacher reported her observation to the principal, but I refused to speak up for fear of death.

My uncle had a friend named Ekene. He was childhood friends with my uncle and was a regular face at the house. From the moment I arrived at my uncle’s home, Ekene had been asking me for a relationship and I kept telling him I was not interested or ready for a relationship. However, he was friendly and paid attention to me. I wanted to speak up to him about how my uncle was molesting me, but the threats I received from my uncle always came back to mind so I kept quiet.

However, after a while, I warmed up to the attention he was giving me as this was helping me cope with the emotional abuse from my uncle.

One day, Ekene came to visit us when my uncle was not back from work. While having a chat, he started to caress my body and carried me to the sofa where he had sex with me.

After that day, he would occasionally come to the house when my uncle and his wife were not around and coerce me to have sex with him. That was how it turned out to be my uncle and his friend sexually abusing me in my uncle’s house. I became their sex object, and I did not have the courage to tell anyone.

I was sad, worried, anxious, depressed, and kept having nightmares. My uncle’s wife was too busy with her work to notice any change.

I was always taking pills to avoid getting pregnant and at times I overdosed on pills and fell ill.

Fortunately for me, I wrote my WAEC examinations and passed all my subjects.

I was 2 years behind my peers, but I was excited about this because I could see a positive aspect, knowing I would be free from the entanglement I was caught in. I gained admission to study Science Laboratory Technology at the University and my uncle called me to renew his threat that if I ever told anyone at the university, he would carry out his threat. He held me by the throat, slightly strangling me while he whispered into my ears that if I dared to tell anyone my life would be over. He left me and told me that he needed to show me a bit of what he can do to me. I was shaken and frightened as I left his presence.

A few weeks to my resumption at the university, Ekene came to abuse me as usual, but my uncle returned earlier than scheduled and caught his friend having sex with me in the sitting room. He became very furious, and his friend immediately went on his knees, begging for forgiveness. I was not bothered because I detested both of them. Uncle Emeka shouted on me and asked me to go and pack all my belongings out of his house and move in the person sleeping with me. He told Ekene that he had to marry me and that was his final verdict. He was so furious that he went to his room and returned with a belt he used to wipe his friend several times. After pleading with my uncle to no avail, Ekene got up angrily and asked me to pack my things that I should move with him to his house. I packed a few of my belongings as my uncle continued ranting and threatening to send his friend to jail for molesting me. I left with Ekene to the car, and he drove me to his house. As he drove, the reality of what was happening began to dawn on me. Had I suddenly become a wife to my abuser? I struggled and fumbled with my hands as tears dripped down my cheeks.

We arrived at Ekene’s 2-bedroom apartment, and I put my things in the second

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room which though arranged, was dusty. The next morning, Ekene came to knock on the door, but I refused to open it for him. After a while, of not getting any response from me, he told me he was off to work. I became very hungry and had to come out of the room to find the kitchen to make something for myself to eat. However, Ekene returned early and caught me unawares, he begged to have a word with me, and I obliged. He began by apologizing for taking advantage of me. He begged for my forgiveness and promised that he would not touch me again, and I was free to make a choice between marrying him or remaining at his place until I moved to the university. He also promised to sponsor my education. All he wanted, he said, was peace and forgiveness. I told him I have heard what he said and needed some time to think about it.

About 3 days later, I agreed to forgive him and move on with my life. I told him, I was not interested in marrying him and he agreed.

That night we discussed like friends and at about 8 pm when we were about to retire for the night, we heard a knock at the door. It was my uncle. He asked to be let in, and explained that since I was the one that usually made all his withdrawals, he couldn’t remember the password to his ATM. I gave him the password, but he insisted that I followed him because he had used that one, and the machine displayed the wrong password code.

Ekene asked me to follow him, so I reluctantly agreed to go with my uncle.

He drove to an ATM far away from Ekene’s house. On trying the same pin I gave my uncle earlier, the card worked without an issue. At that point, I began to suspect that my uncle was up to something. I gave him the money and he asked that he drop me back at Ekene’s house. I entered the car, but he drove in another direction and shortly thereafter entered a police station. He dragged me out of the car into the station and he requested that they arrest me, because I had turned his house into a brothel, bringing men there to sleep with them. I was detained behind the counter. Then he asked the police officers to follow him to one of the perpetrator’s houses, the one who is also my agent. He claimed that I usually stole his money and gave it to my agent. Lo and behold, Ekene had been arrested and was brought to the same station.

At this point, I could not hold it in any longer. I was fed up with my uncle’s lies and hypocrisy, so, I requested to speak with the DPO. I went ahead to reveal how my uncle had been sexually abusing me for the past 3 years even as a minor and of all the threats.

I told them everything without sparing any detail. He was summoned to the station where he was questioned, and he admitted to having sex with me to confirm if I was still a virgin.

The police officers immediately took him into custody and took up the matter.

I was then referred to WARIF Centre for medical assessment, treatment, and psychosocial counseling. At the Centre, I was attended to by a highly professional team of medical practitioners. The environment was calm and serene and made me feel at peace.

The counseling sessions were extremely helpful. It helped me to release all the negative energy and baggage from the past years.

I experienced healing emotionally and I no longer have the nightmares and flashbacks that bedeviled me night and day. Finally, I learned that speaking out is the best way to break the power of an abuser. I feel much better, stronger, and encouraged to move on with my life.

Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone and it is not your fault. Help is available.

If you have been raped or you know someone who has, please visit us at The WARIF Centre - 6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on 08092100009.

For questions or more information please contact: info@warifng.org

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Sunday, April 10, 2022 Vol. 22, No. 9831

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YOUR STYLE, YOUR SCENT!!!

GETTING READY FASTER

Fragrance for Denim Denim jeans are certainly a staple in all wardrobes, they can be dressed down with just a white t-shirt and sneakers or dressed up with a pair of killer heels. To go with this essential, try a fragrance that’s within your comfort zone, A cool, casual and urban fragrance works perfectly.

Tired of always being stressed out in the morning, being late, and still feeling completely exhausted even when ready? You can learn these six tips and tricks from power women who are excellent at it. After all, busy and successful women somehow manage to get everything under one roof and still look great.

By Usiade Isioma

Know The Weather Being prepared for anything also means knowing the weather. Just take a look at your weather app before choosing an outfit. This way, you avoid regretting wearing a white outfit in the pouring rain or an all-black outfit in bright sunshine and thus prevent a bad mood.

Prepare Your Outfit the Night Before Putting out the outfit for the next morning the evening before, is an enormous time saver and ensures that you are less stressed in the morning. If you know your schedule and the weather, you can choose all the pieces you want to wear and try them on so you are happy with the final look. Then hang everything up ready to wear and save yourself the morning fashion crisis we all hate so much.

Fragrance for Silk There’s nothing more sensual than a piece of silk draped across your body, whether it’s a chiffon blouse for work or a sexy little black slip for dinner and drinks. Something so delicate should be paired with a fragrance that’s equally as gentle. Choose a fragrance that’s sophisticatedly classic, something that’s lush and leaves a captivating silage when you exit a room.

OLAR FOLAMI

Pack Your Bag the Evening Before Just as it pays to pick out your outfit the night before, busy women have often got used to packing their bags the night before. Laptop, charging cable, water, snacks, wallet – even if something is still missing, it is usually just one quick move in the morning instead of many small ones. Having everything properly packed saves you a lot of stress in the morning giving you a little more energy to start your day.

Organize Your Accessories Untying chains, finding a pair of earrings that actually go together, looking for sunglasses that have been lost in some bag can all be avoided if you put them in order in your drawer inserts. Organizing them properly the night before, will calm your nerves in the morning.

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A Simple Make-Up A woman with busy schedule especially in the morning, should understand what makes your daily routine work optimal. You should know how to get your make-up done quickly, and most times, it is usually very simple. In the morning everything revolves around a natural base, structured brows, mascara and some colour on the lips – and you’re ready to go.

Move Your Skin Routine to The Evening You don’t have that much time in the morning to do your skin routine and because your skin shouldn’t be neglected, move all extensive skin care routines to the evening. So, in the morning you only have to use a moisturizer, some eye care and sunscreen, and your skin is ready for the day looking great.

Fragrance for Leather Leather calls for an edgy and interesting perfume, something that challenges the senses with unusual ingredients. Something with dark, smoky notes can perfectly complement a black leather outfit, however it takes a brave individual to wear it.

Fragrance for Wool or Cashmere A fragrance should echo what a warm jumper does for you; keep you nice and snug. Cocoon yourself with a warm and enveloping fragrance when wearing wool and cashmere, something that wraps around you like your cashmere scarf.

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When picking an outfit for the day, whether you are going for something bold with colourful prints or something delicate to flaunt your sophisticated nature or just a causal plain t-shirt and jeans, there is a perfume out there to match your style. Finding the right scent for your clothing style does not have to be hard. With this little guide, you should have an understanding of the types of things to look for in the scent that matches your clothing. If you have more than one style, don’t hesitate to buy different fragrances to match them.

Fragrance for Cotton It’s safe to say that cotton is the most versatile fashion textile of them all. It’s natural, breathable, and most importantly, super comfortable so you never get sick of wearing it. The same should go for a fragrance to suit it.

It should be versatile and suitable all year round. A perfume that’s light and fresh will compliment a cotton dress, so look for a fruity floral with sparkling top notes.

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A routine makes it easier to maintain a healthy lifestyle. You have your week planned ahead, you know when to hit the gym, prep your meals and ensure you are properly hydrated. There should not be no excuse to fall off the wagon even if you are on the road or far away from home. STYLE will be sharing a few tips to incorporate physical activity while on the road, be it an official trip or a short vacation.

STAY FIT & HEALTHY WHILE TRAVELING

By Usiade Isioma WORKOUT SCHEDULE While on a that trip, make sure you have an exercise schedule. It could be a short visit to the hotel gym just before your early morning meetings or better still, go for a swim before going to bed. This workout schedule will help you plan and organize your day without missing out a time to exercise.

MOISTURIZE THE SKIN FROM INSIDE OUT

By Usiade Isioma

Letting your body become dehydrated is one of the fastest ways to get dry skin. A well-hydrated skin can help promote healthy-looking skin. There are many different ways apart from skin care products to ensure your skin is well hydrated which is consuming the foods that support skin health. If your skin looks dry, flaky, or irritated, it may be time to take a moment to evaluate your hydration and eating habits.

Here’s a list of water-rich foods you can try.

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3. Vegetables Certain vegetables have high water content, such as spinach, carrots and broccoli. Try incorporating these into your everyday meals.

TAKE A WALK Just in case your business trip has a very tight schedule that leaves no room for complex workouts, turn to the best simplest exercise by making sure you use the stairs to that meeting hall instead of taking the elevator, take a stroll around the meeting hall business hall. This little effort makes a great impact on your body.

MAKE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR HOTEL ROOM If you are lodged in a hotel with no gym space, then make the best use of your hotel room. Some rooms are very spacious or you can move the chair and use workout videos online.

THE AIRPORT ISN’T LEFT OUT If you are catching a plane, you can make the waiting more dynamic if you have a little time before departure. Try the farmer’s walk by moving around with your laptop bag and hand luggage.

This may look simple, but it is incredibly effective as those heavy items will help with your muscles, shoulders, and legs.

YES, USE THE PLANE SPACE The flight might be a very long one and sitting for a long periods of time can slow blood circulation which may make you feel stiff or get muscle pull.

While on air, try to taking a few steps on the plane aisle to stretch your muscles every now and then.

Also do a few squats if you can manage it. This is very great and helpful.

1. Watermelon Watermelon is a fruit high in water content and contains minerals and phytochemicals such as lycopene, vitamin C, and beta carotene all of which can support skin health. The fruit offers a good amount of antioxidants. Good news is that it is not seasonal so you can enjoy watermelon all year-round as a snack or blend it with other ingredients for a delicious, refreshing smoothie.

6. Smoothies or Protein Shakes Shakes are a great, convenient way to improve your fluid intake. You can customize them depending on your taste, so if your favourite fruit is not on this list, you can blend your own ingredients and even add protein powder. Many fruits are not only high in water content, but they also provide Fiber.

2. Orange Oranges are always good to have on your grocery list or your fruit bowl at home. Like watermelons, they contain a lot of water as well as vitamin C. You can take oranges anywhere and even peel them without a knife.

4. Yogurts Has it ever crossed your mind that in addition to supporting your digestive health, yogurt also contributes to your fluid intake? One portion of yogurt contains around 80-89 percent water.

5. Fruit and vegetable salads Establish a new habit, such as serving salads as appetizers before your main course. You can try a fruit salad, vegetable salad, or a combination of both.

In addition to improving your appetite, salads that contain fresh fruits and vegetables also contribute to your fluid intake.

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