Thinking Aloud Magazine: Jan-Mar 2021

THINKING ALOUD

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE publication of rehoboth dream solid foundation (rdsf)

ISSUE

13 JAN - MAR 2021

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A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

CONTENTS

Cover Photo: Mr Segun Osuntokun

Dr. Folasade Hunsu Department of English, Obafemi Awolowo University, Nigeria

Mr. Patrick Edebor Editorial/publishing consultant. Owner, Patrick Edebor and Associates.

Mr. Akin Adejuwon Curator, Institute of Cultural Studies, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife.

Mr. Rotimi Lawuyi FCA Owner, RAMA Editors.

Dr. Mrs Olayinka Opadiya Senior Pastor, Every Nation Church Sydney Australia.

Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe Founder/Executive Director, Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Rear Admiral (Rtd) Oladeinde Joseph , Chairman, Board of Trustees Pharm. Samson Igbokwe Mrs Roseline Igbokwe Mrs Ronke Osikoya Ms Ketumi Alasa Pastor (Dr) Joshua Opadiya Dr (Mrs) Yinka Opadiya Mrs Abimbola Komolafe Rear Admiral (Rtd) K O Komolafe

Editor Bimbo Komolafe

Publication & Design Benjamin Eze

Project Manager Tomi Olatunde

Project Team Edison Egere

@2021. Thinking Aloud Magazine, a publication of Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Othniel Komolafe Grace Adoga Celestina Osiki

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non -commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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EDITORIAL

ISSUE

13

JAN - MAR 2021

Dear Readers,

Welcome to the Q1, 2021 edition of Thinking Aloud (TA) produced by Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation (RDSF).

2021 started with optimism as most people looked forward to a year more beautiful than the turbulent and unprecedented 2020.

Though the world is still battling Covid-19, we are doing this with much more knowledge and understanding of the pandemic. The scientists have also given some positive news with vaccines now rolled out to combat the disease.

For us at the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation, we are optimistic that 2021 will be a better year and look forward to touching more lives through our numerous programs, particularly awarding more scholarships and bursaries to indigent students.

The cover for our first edition of the year features an interview with an achiever, a Nigerian of great repute, Mr Segun Osuntokun, who won the Black British Person of the Year award in 2020. The interview is rich and infused with many lessons from his experience.

The Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation continues to record successes, and this quarter in our ‘RDSF Success Story’, we feature the story of Lawrence Andrew Akor who now holds a Bachelor at Law (BL) from Nigerian Law School.

Our regular columns are as educative and entertaining as usual. The guest writer for the parenting column, Prof.

Chinedu Mba is a professor and Programme Coordinator and shares her wealth of experience in her article ‘How To Find The Best-Fit College or University for Your High Schooler’.

In our Relationship corner, One of RDSF Trustees, Mrs Ronke Osikoya examines the impact of COVID on relationships while our Finance coach shares financial fitness tips for immigrants in Canada.

Have a delightful reading experience and remember to share the magazine with your loved ones.

On behalf of the TA magazine project team, I wish our readers a beautiful 2021. Stay safe and stay positive.

Bimbo Komolafe Editor connect with us on social media | thinkingaloudmagazine

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The process can be particularly stressful for all those involved, especially the high school seniors and their parents or guardians. There are a couple of good reasons for this. First, parents are under great pressure to give their children the best shot at a successful life. I think we can all agree that one of the greatest accomplishments of parents is ensuring their children are set for success, and having an education, which promises a sizeable Return on Investment (ROI), has proven to be the most practical way to achieve this goal.

Next, students find the university application process traumatic as many of them hardly have any idea of what they want to do with their lives or what they want from college/university, and you cannot blame them.

“Ossai!

Ossai! Come and greet Aunty Cecilia”, Nneka called out to her son who was playing video games in his room. Two minutes later, a six-foot gentle giant ambled into the family room. “Good evening ma” he said in a rich baritone voice, looking at the flamboyantly dressed woman sprawled on the couch next to his mother.

Hearing the greeting, Cecilia swiftly turns away from the television and squeals “goodness me, Nneka! Is this small Ossai? Lord have mercy! My dear”, she squeals louder in joyful disbelief, “see how you’ve grown.” “Now, how old are you?” she asks shaking her head side to side as the disbelief grows and her eyes widen. Her voice is now down to a near whisper.

With a smile in his voice, Ossai responds, “Sixteen, ma.”

Cecilia claps her hands excitedly and squeals again as she hops up, grabs surprised Ossai and pulls him into an embrace. “Chimooo, that means you are preparing for university. Which school will you be going to and what will you study?” she rattles off as she releases him.

If you are a parent or high school senior (in Nigeria, Senior secondary school), especially Nigerian, then this type of conversation or a variant must be quite familiar. This is because you have either asked the same questions or witnessed a conversation where similar questions were asked, directly or the idea alluded to.

Yes, deciding on a University and course of study, the logical next step for those in their final year in secondary school (high school seniors), are twin decisions that rank high in the minds of high schoolers and their parents.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

A “mini course” in student development theory should help us empathize with them. Student development theories tell us that late adolescence (18 years to 22 years) is a self-discovery and development period. This makes it pretty tempestuous because these young people are grappling with so much: what it means to be autonomous, developing cognitive, psychosocial, and practical skills competence, trying to make sense of the complexities of identity (gender, sexual orientation, & body image), and coming to terms with the complications of mature interpersonal relationships (remember the euphoria and confusion associated with first love).

Now, consider the fact that, at this stage, these young people are also expected to figure out what it means to have responsibilities, career goals &, aspirations, and you’ll appreciate why most of them find decision making extremely nerve-wracking. Simply put, most students are developmentally unprepared to make these twin decisions because they require a level of deliberate contemplation and self-understanding they are yet to acquire.

Why is this an important and timely subject? The pandemic is the first reason. While any time is a good time to explore this subject since there will always be a continuous flow of high school seniors preparing to choose, the experiences of 2020 have upended everything therefore requiring us to revaluate how high school seniors and parents go about deciding on a university and course of study.

Globally, COVID-19 and the instituted control measures hit hard at students’ mental health. Results of various international studies show an increase in students’ levels of psychological distress linked to the pandemic- induced changes in academia, society, and economy. | 5 |

“Picking a poor-fit school or course of study can be very expensive for parents if they are in the wrong programme/course and end of dropping out”

Cost is another reason. Depending on the type of institution (public or private college, polytechnic, or university), tuition could be anywhere between 20,000 and 600,000 naira per term in Nigeria and the equivalent of $14,000 to $70,000 per term for international students in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom.

Implicit, therefore, picking a poor-fit school or course of study can be very expensive for parents if they are in the wrong programme/course and end of dropping out, changing, or generally taking longer to graduate for a variety of related reasons. Several studies have shown that students enrolled in poor-fit schools and majors are more likely to drop out or graduate late.

In fact, in 2017 National Student Clearinghouse, an American organization which provides “backend support to colleges and universities”, shared the following worrying data in its annual report: only about 45% of students earn their degree or certificate at the first school they attended within six years of entering college while about 12% transfer and complete at a different school and 57% finish within 6 years of enrolling.

This leaves 12% who are on track and about 31% who drop out. In summary, about 40% of college students fail to graduate six years after starting. Although the data is from the United States, it is similar to anecdotal reports from the United Kingdom, Canada, and Nigeria.

Finally are the factors influencing choice? Expectedly, students and parents base their decision on choice of school and major on several factors, but according to the 2020 International Students Survey run by Quacquarelli Symonds, a “provider of global higher education solutions and insights”, the top six criteria for international students were as follows: connection to preferred career, degree of personal interest in major, reputation of the institution, quality of teaching in the programme of study, tuition fees, and rate of graduate employment.

Studies from Nigeria and anecdotal accounts reveal the following factors: personal interest, parental influence, university reputation, university ranking, and fees.

Review of available literature shows that the identified factors are more or less the same globally, and when there is a difference, the new factor is school ranking.

What does all this mean and what should parents and high schoolers do? More important, what does best practice say about choosing a best-fit college/university and major? In a nut shell, best practice says, “Choose a school and major for the right reasons”. The right reasons vary for different students and in different circumstances, but here are a couple of key pointers parents and high schoolers can start with: Know thy child and to thy child be true The first and most important step is to understand your high schooler. This means identifying your child’s personality, health condition (mental, physical, and emotional), academic interests, strengths and developmental areas, social tendencies and challenges, activity level, special needs, and giftedness. Sometimes, you may need to work with an educational psychologist who will carry out assessments, which will be mined for information to be used to create the profile. Having all this information in one place – a profile document makes the job of searching and finding a best fit easier.

It is important to remember that your high schooler is unique so the fact that you had a good experience at your alma mater, a school or programme is highly ranked, or your friend’s child appears to be doing well at particular institution or programme does not mean your child will thrive there or have a similar experience. Parents and high schoolers frequently depend solely on school ranking reports forgetting that a highly ranked school may not have the support systems the high schooler will need. It is not helpful to consider rankings in isolation of other critical information.

Work with educational professionals While it is a truism that nobody knows your child as well as you do, reality is that you have a biased view of your child’s personality and abilities. Professionals such as educational psychologists, guidance counsellors and education consultants are able to provide a non-biased view and relevant information that will help you find the best-fit (academic, financial, psychosocial) school for your high schooler. Each professional has a specific role in the process.

The educational psychologist will run assessments to find out how your child learns and what can be done to better support your high schooler. The guidance counsellor will help your high schooler identify strengths and develop self awareness by administering and interpreting tests that assess aptitude, ability and interest. Educational consultants, on the other hand, sift through all the information and complete a critical comparative analysis that allows them suggest reach schools, fit schools, and safety schools. A reach school is that aspirational school for your high schooler. It is a competitive school; a fit school is the school best suited for your high schooler. It is that school where your high schooler’s grades fall smack in the middle of the school’s admission requirements. | 6 |

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The safety school is the plan B school your high schooler is sure to get into with current academic qualifications.

Every high schooler’s list of school and major options should contain all three classes of schools and programmes/majors. Consider taking advantage of the services of these educational professionals. Note that they are different from agents or recruiters for schools, especially international schools.

Research and visit school(s) Every institution and programme has its own culture, values, vision, and mission. These features create a profile of the type(s) of students who would thrive in the respective institutions and programmes. Some schools want students that are risk takers, collaborative, and resilient; some others want students who are curious, independent, resourceful, hands-on and personable.

Unfortunately, some schools are not very good at communicating this fact. Consequently, parents and high schoolers make poorly informed decisions. This why it is important to research the schools and visit in person (if possible) or virtually and not depend on recommendations of friends or rankings and family.

While researching or visiting the schools and programme areas, here are a couple of things to pay attention to: •

The types of opportunities offered. Does the school offer opportunities for rich non-curricular and cocurricular experiences and would these suit your high schooler?

•

The size of the school and programme. Size here refers to physical (structures and space), population and course/programme offerings. A large student population may mean that there are less resources to go around; it also may mean that the student is more of a number and does not feel part of a community, so can fall through the cracks. On the other hand, size could refer to the offerings and support systems in the institution. Some larger schools offer a greater breadth of options in terms of diplomas, degrees, cocurricular activities. Note that being a high ranking and prestigious school does not make the institution or programme the best choice for your high schooler.

There is sufficient anecdotal evidence, particularly of international students, of students in prestigious or high ranking schools who have either dropped out or had to change schools and programmes because the prestigious school was a poor fit. Therefore, look at the details: programme structure, support for students, students’ perception of faculty-student relationship, diversity (race, gender, programmes) workload, extracurricular activities, and co-op opportunities. Also important to consider is if the school feels like home for your high schooler. It is important that it feels like home because it means that your high schooler feels like he/she belongs.

Why is this important? Well, Abraham Maslow

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

identified belongingness as a basic human need that affects a person’s ability to fulfill self-actualization desires. We know that education serves to inspire students to reach their full potential and selfactualize. Similarly, several studies have highlighted the importance of the feeling of connectedness in student engagement and retention, particularly among first and second year students. This means that institutional environments that create a caring, supportive and welcoming environment are successful retaining students because when students have positive experiences adjusting academically and socially, there is an increase in persistence and retention and engagement. Therefore, it would be a good idea to ask about the retention levels of the programme and institution. Other areas to ask about include the institution and programme area’s commitment to campus activities (academic and social), and the relationships between faculty as perceived by students. All these details can be requested from the school or gleaned from the institutions or programme’s website and social media handles as well as from the Student Association.

On a final note, choosing schools and majors is a learning process, so you and your high schooler need to take everything you learn along the way and have them inform your decisions. Realize your high schooler has a choice, so do not think that he or she has to lock in once a decision has been made. Think of it as you would real estate: if you do not like the house, sell and relocate. It might be expensive, but your high schooler’s mental health and ability to reach self-actualization trumps all else.

Chinedu Mba is a professor and programme coordinator at Algonquin College, Ottawa, Canada. An experienced administrator in the higher education industry, Chinedu is also a student success specialist, an education consultant, and an academic life coach and tutor Train-the -Trainer. You can reach her at academiccoaching01@gmail.com | 7 |

about your employment status and other relevant information on the Tax forms will assist the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) work out your eligibility for these benefits.

Another reason is that Tax filing allows you get tax refunds where you have previously been overtaxed via ‘tax at source’. When you file your returns and claim your allowable deductions, your tax position may change, and you may be due to receive a refund via Tax credit. The CRA is the agency that administers the tax refunds as well as benefits.

Canada

has increasingly become an attraction for immigrants and the number of young people migrating there continues to increase. While Canada offers a good opportunity for living well and having a good career, this opportunity can be misused if one gets into a financial trap.

Most immigrants will face new realities once they land.

Preparing ahead and being properly informed will help you settle better and avoid financial pitfalls capable of derailing your financial journey.

Software you can use in filing your Tax returns.

There are free and paid software available for your use.

Examples of some tax software that can be used to file your tax returns for free or for a small fee are SimpleTax , GenuTax, StudioTax and TurboTax. For SimpleTax and GenuTax, you can file your personal return for free regardless of complexity. You can choose to donate any amount of your choice after your taxes are filed.

For, Turbo Tax free - If all you have is T4 slips (T4 slip is a summary of your employment earnings and deductions for the year) and charitable donations, you can complete your taxes for free. Otherwise, you have to pay per Tax return. To use Studio Tax, you can file the first 20 personal tax returns for free regardless of complexity, but unlimited returns will cost some money.

Four simple steps to follow in filing your Tax returns.

This article will focus on three areas to pay attention for managing your finances and staying financially fit in Canada. These are Tax filing and compliance, use of Credit cards /Credit scores and Mortgages.

1. TAX FILING AND COMPLIANCE This is one area all immigrants must focus on to avoid penalties and exposure to financial losses. The Canadian Tax system is very robust and has little or no room for Tax evasion. All immigrants are encouraged to educate themselves to ensure a proper plan for compliance. You are expected to file your tax Returns even if you did not earn money in a Tax year. The good news is that you can get free support from the Government on how to file your taxes.

Benefits of filing your Tax returns There are many reasons to promptly submit your tax returns. One major reason is that the information from your tax return is used to calculate your benefit and credit payments. These benefits include Canada Child benefit, Canada Workers’ benefit, Child Disability Benefit, Northern Residents Deductions, GST/HST Credit and Disability Tax credit. It doesn’t matter if you did not earn income in the year under consideration. Information

• • • •

Know your timeline Gather and organise your documents Choose a method of filing your tax return Know your deductions and credit

KNOW YOUR TIMELINE It is important to be familiar with the deadlines to avoid paying penalties and interest on tax amounts owed. Most individuals have to file and pay all taxes owed for a year (e.g. 2020) by 30th April of the following year (e.g.

2021). Self-employed individuals have till June 15 of the following year (e.g. 2021) to file a tax return. Note however that all monies owed must still be paid by April 30 of each year to avoid penalties and interest. You can refer to the official website of IRCC (Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada) for more details.

ORGANISE YOUR DOCUMENTS For easy and seamless tax filing, it is important that you deliberately begin organising your documents for each tax year from the beginning of the year. Know which documents and receipts are important so you can ensure their safety. Begin to safely store the various tax documents and receipts as soon as you receive them. | 8 |

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Whether you are an employee, business owner or Nonresident Landlord filing taxes for rental income, your receipts and documents are essential in filing factual tax returns. Note that as an employee, you will receive a T4 detailing your earnings and how much taxes were withheld; this must be kept safely. Business owners and Landlords need to have evidence of all expenses they intend to back out of gross earnings. Other documents include receipts for medical bills, charitable donations and other information that will support deductible expenses.

Note the need to keep all slips and receipts as all claims must be supported by the right documents.

DETERMINE A FILING METHOD Deciding how to file your tax return is an important step in completing your tax return. Most immigrants coming

Investopedia defines a Credit Card as ‘a thin rectangular piece of plastic or metal issued by a bank or financial services company, that allows cardholders to borrow funds with which to pay for goods and services with merchants that accept cards for payment. Credit cards impose the condition that cardholders pay back the borrowed money, plus any applicable interest, as well as any additional agreed-upon charges, either in full by the billing date or over time’. Credit cards give you access to convenient and easy borrowing which when not carefully managed can tie down the user into indebtedness that continues to grow.

from underdeveloped and unstructured economies where Tax Filing is not effectively enforced need to adjust and be careful not to contravene the legal requirements of Tax filing. There are several ways to file or send in your tax return. You can choose to: • Use a tax software • Use a tax preparation service • Complete a paper return Whichever method you choose, be sure to fully understand how it works and what is required of you.

Paper forms and guides are available online from the CRA (Canadian Revenue Agency) website. These forms can however be difficult to follow and do not provide any help as to what deductions or credits you might be entitled to. Tax Preparation Software offer the option for online filing. These software guide you through the filing process and help you figure out the deductions and credits you could be eligible for. The use of a tax preparation service allows you access to one-on-one help and guidance from an expert. Be sure to choose a provider you trust. Note that the filing method you adopt will determine how quickly you get a tax refund. You can get your refund in 8 business days if you choose the direct deposit option and file online.

“Claiming the right deductions and credits is a great strategy to help reduce the amount of taxes you pay on your income”

DEDUCTIONS & CREDITS Claiming the right deductions and credits is a great strategy to help reduce the amount of taxes you pay on your income. Take note of the following deductions and credits you may be eligible to receive.

• Child Care Expenses • Medical Expenses • Moving Expenses • Tuition credits THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

2. USE OF CREDIT CARDS AND BUILDING YOUR CREDIT SCORE Efficient management of your credit cards is critical to your financial survival especially in an economy like Canada that depends so much on credit. Unlike the occurrence in the home countries of some immigrants where transactions are mostly cash based, Canada offers easy access to credit cards.

Owning a credit card is not luxury as there are some vendors that require payment by credit card only. While you may want to avoid the danger of getting entangled in credit card debts, you may need to have one to make seamless payments in some circumstances. What is important is that you determine from the start that you will be in complete control of your credit cards and not the other way round.

There is no free lunch. Credit cards give cash or funds advance which MUST be repaid. You repay on time and within the terms of the facility granted and you remain financially fit. Once you default, your woes begin……

Let’s discuss some key things to cautiously bear in mind before you commence the use of credit cards.

Determine how you will use the card: Start by deciding ahead what you will you use the card for. Will you restrict usage to your daily purchases, large purchases, online transactions, or others? It is important that you match your needs to the right credit card with the features, rates and options that work for you.

Do your research: What features are important to you?

Different cards offer different features. You should choose your card based on what you hope to achieve by using the card.

• Low or no annual fees • Cash back program • Rewards programme • Extended warranties on purchases Read the fine print: Research, understand and note the conditions and hidden details of credit card offers.

Compare these details on the different options and select | 9 |

the cheapest and most convenient option. Details to watch include following: • Credit limit • Annual fee • Minimum payment amount and date • Additional fees and penalties 3. MORTGAGES IN CANADA: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW Once you land in Canada, put a plan in place towards owing your own house. Be aware that the monthly rent you pay to a landlord can be applied as mortgage payment towards owning your own property. Having a plan will help you make choices that will guide you to actualize your dream on time.

Your plan should include target date, house type and size, desired location, and a budget for this. Taking a mortgage loan is one example where debt is not discouraged. This borrowing helps you acquire an asset that increases in value.

As a newly landed immigrant, buying your first home is supported by certain government initiatives which you need to be aware of. Be informed of the Canadian government’s ‘First-Time Home Buyer Incentive’ aimed at improving affordability for first-time home buyers.

The programme offers 5 or 10% of the home’s purchase price to put toward a down payment. Visit the Government official website to check your eligibility and for full details. Know also that depending on the province, you may be eligible for some Tax rebates or interest free loans.

•

Explore available offers. The various banks have different packages for first home buyers.

Visit www.financecoachbk.com and read more on areas to pay attention for managing your finances and staying financially fit in Canada.

DISCLAIMER: This article has been written in good faith to guide and assist newly landed immigrants achieve financial fitness early in their new location.

Details shared are purely from practical experience and personal knowledge.

Readers should undertake further research and visit the CRA and IRCC official websites for more details and official position on all issues. The Writer accepts no liability for the contents of this article.

CREDITS: This article was written from inspiration received from a Canada based Finance Coach (@MoneyRedefined).

Her page is dedicated to helping immigrant families build a healthy relationship with Money.

Follow her page for more tutorials on managing your money as a Canadian resident.

Preparing for your Mortgage Here are some basic things to consider before you apply for your mortgage.

• •

• • •

•

•

Make sure your taxes for previous years are filed Make sure your credit scores are okay – you can use free services online. Credit Karma and Equifax are good examples.

Ensure you have your down payment ready Use an experienced Realtor Choice of Mortgage Agent - Be careful to keep mortgage broking costs low. Ask questions and don’t rush this decision.

Aim to get the least possible Mortgage Interest rate. – Rates will differ for variable and fixed term mortgages. Research to ensure you are well informed on the benefits and consequences of both options.

Be careful to understand the terms of your mortgage especially concerning flexibility of repayment options and the penalties for breaking the mortgage. Note that if you need to refinance your mortgage or sell the house during the term of the mortgage, these are often seen as breaking the mortgage and will usually attract penalties.

Bimbo Komolafe FCA, FCIB writes from Lagos and is a Fellow of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria and a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Bankers. She teaches financial literacy across FinanceCoachBK platforms.

Follow her handles for daily tips to help you achieve financial freedom and grow your wealth.

Instagram: @Financecoachtoday Twitter: @FinanceCoachBK Website: www.FinanceCoachBK.com | 10 |

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Within that split second of thinking, I realised that I needed my friends; I needed to be surrounded with people just so I can process everything. On our way out, Mo (Teni’s twin brother) greeted me and asked me about our plans and I was like “Nothing much, something simple.” And I had this uncomfortable laugh and at this point I do not remember what I had said word per word but it goes along the lines of my grandma passed away this morning.

Mo was helpful and encouraging and he reminded me that my birthday is so special because my grandma went to be with the Lord and as another year has been added to my life, it goes to show that I am part of her legacy here on earth. That honestly fuels me and encourages me to keep doing better in life as that’s one of my Lola’s nuggets of wisdom “Whatever you do, do it excellently”.

It has

been such a hard week for me. On the 15th of this month (February), which is the actual day of my birthday, my beloved Lola Cristina went home peacefully to be with the Lord. I remember I was at Teni’s and we had a blast from our usual Sunday hangouts at Ange’s and we had planned to go celebrate my birthday at a cafe called Something for Jess (which is an awesome place by the way), we planned to go for a nice stroll after - as simple as that.

I woke up from that eventful weekend, tossing and turning and when finally I had the strength to sit up, I set up my devotional stuff (Bible, pens and notebook) on Teni’s bed so I can get started to meet with the Lord. Teni was outside having a book club meeting with her sister (Waiting for the Ice Cream Man - go check that out!) and then I got a message from Tita Cyndee (my Aunt in Florida) saying, “Jeline, is Ate Gel awake?” (Ate is big/older sister in Tagalog). I responded with “Hi Tita, she should be but she’s at work and I’m not at home”. As soon as I sent that, I just had a strange feeling, a hunch that I thought to myself, “hmmm. I will not think about it”.

An hour later, as we were getting ready to leave, I then got another message from Tita Cyndee saying, “Mama Cristy passed away this morning”. All I remembered was me saying NO!, throwing my phone on the bed and Teni asked “what’s up?”. And then I had to verbalise it after a few seconds, “my grandma passed away this morning”. Teni gave me a big hug and I cried, but to be honest, I wasn’t balling too much because I was confused. My birthday, Lola’s death, what do I do? Do I mourn? Do I celebrate? Do I just cancel and go home? It was a strange feeling.

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I was still going through the motions of seeing our family group chat go ham with lots of exchanges of details between the siblings and also my older cousins, in the midst of having brunch with Teni and Ange who were so patient, understanding and so supportive and also endlessly ringing my Mum as she had no idea of what happened and what’s going on. Eventually, I got a hold of her and to my surprise, she dealt with it with so much grace and peace.

I remember her saying “Wow, that’s okay. I was prepared for this and I knew that at one point she had to go home. No more pain and she’s with the Lord now.” Here I am thinking to myself, this is a supernatural situation, I was trying to console her and make sure that my Mum’s okay but reality is, I was the one who needed consoling because I wasn’t ready for it.

After brunch and I was finally on my way home, I posted a simple tribute for her and the meaning of Billie Holiday’s “I’ll Be Seeing You”, just went to a whole new different level. “Lola, when I’m looking at the moon, I’ll be seeing you, I’ll be reminded of how much of a great, blessed, imperfect yet faithful life you’ve lived. 90 years of God’s faithfulness to you and the generations to come”.

I finally got home and when I saw mum, tears just kept flooding because everything was slowly coming back to me and reality came crashing in. Lola is gone!! My sweet, witty, loving and feisty Lola is gone! Yes I know that she is with the Lord, having a better party than me, but the pain of losing someone still stings! I cried like a baby in my mother’s arms as my Lola was my favourite grandma and I was one of her favourite apo’s (Grandchild). | 11 |

I remember going into her room and having chats with her and her giving countless advice on life, to study well and treasure education, honour my parents, do well in life. My mum also reminded me that one of the greatest pieces of advice that Lola gave was to be prayerful.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says: "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Yes I was thankful and hopeful for a life well lived by Lola and I’ll always be thankful for her life of how much of a blessing she is to literally everyone she meets. My lovely pastor, Aunty Yinka reminded me that the 15th will forever be special, that it is my birthday and my Lola’s birthday in heaven. And one of my good friends from work Pierre had said, “What a day she chose to go”. And honestly, I’ll always feel her love and guidance in a more special way.

I finished the night with my church family, we had dinner and talked about life and I have to say that, I am forever grateful for the people that God has placed in my life, family, church family, work family and friends. I have felt such a strong support and care within the past few days and I’m forever grateful.

Bear with me as I still haven’t even moved on to how the week has been and what’s the moral lesson of this, but I want to paint a picture of how it was like for me to grieve and deal with this because I know myself that I have to navigate through this season by God’s grace.

Grief is something that you can never prepare yourself fully for. As organised as I am when it comes to planning my week that even having hourly schedules is a thing for me, grief is definitely something that just happens and you have to learn and accept that you’d have to deal with it.

As a person who has high empathy, I realised that when it comes to my own, I try to let my logic run more, to think and not let myself feel at times because it is humanly exhausting to go through life’s dramas (not all the time, but I usually tend to stay away from it), there were times where I have suppressed feelings and one day it just hit me like a truck and I remember God reminding me “well who asked you to inflict that pain on yourself?”, from then I realised that emotions are real and beautiful and John 11:35 even says “Jesus wept” for his brother that passed away.

And for me, Jesus has lived life here on earth and he has modeled how we should be living life in the fullness that we have in him. So this time, I acknowledged that it is not going to be easy, but my heart and mind is set on Jesus and I know that this is part of the capacity that he is growing me in this new season of being Twenty-seven.

Now for my week, it has been a mixture of late nights crying, challenging times at work, feeling physically exhausted but still hopeful that there is a breakthrough at the end of this.

I do get random outbursts when I’m by myself, battling with my mind whether I should go to certain events planned for this week.

I even went back and forth whether I should cancel my party for the following week. It’s a strange mixture of I want to be alone, but I also don’t want to be alone, but when I’m with my friends, I feel like it takes time for me to find words to say to a point that I become anti-social and then a rollercoaster of getting random outburst of energy - I’m thankful to my friends.

They understand. They let me be. I didn’t have to second guess myself that I may be crazy for feeling this way.

“...the funeral service and interment. I’m thankful to my family in the Philippines and technology for allowing us to be there virtually. It was indeed a celebration of life and God’s faithfulness.”

Everything happened so fast, the funeral service and interment. I’m thankful to my family in the Philippines and technology for allowing us to be there virtually. It was indeed a celebration of life and God’s faithfulness.

On the day of her interment, I was at work and I watched it during my break time cause it was live. I had to pause it and save it for later because I would be a mess and there was still three hours to my shift.

When I got home, and I caught up with the live stream, it finally hit me that her body is not with us anymore, she is gone for good. (well at least on earth).

And to be honest, wrapping my head around the idea of it and acknowledging that she is with the Lord can get really tough. Not confusing, but just tough. I went from a state of celebration to fighting the feeling, holding my head up, losing it to depression but also countless times of crying, “Jesus I need you”.

The only One who can give me peace that surpasses all understanding. I never questioned God why because I know that there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes chapter 3). I acknowledged His sovereign will and purpose for my Lola’s life that she has already fulfilled; hence she was called on to be at home with the Lord. | 12 |

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Finally, on one sunny Saturday five days after everything that has happened, I woke up to a thought, which I believe God has placed upon my heart. I woke up thinking of all the pending things in my to-do list, how I’ve forgiven myself for the things I forgot to do that are way past it’s deadline and mostly they’re part of my responsibilities. I realised that I needed to clean up my room that was in such a depressed state.

I realised now I needed to start making healthy steps to get past my melancholic stage of feelings. I said get past, not get over. I know that I will have to deal with the feelings every now and then so I need to remind myself where my hope is anchored. Cause if it’s in solitude and feelings on it’s own, I will definitely get to nowhere and I will end up in a cycle of loneliness. But if my hope is built on Christ alone, the One who holds it all, the One that gives us a plan, purpose and a future, then there is the rest of my life here on earth to look forward to.

God begins to do His work in my life for His glory and the advancement of His Kingdom. All glory be to God! Lastly, I want to honour my Lola, the late Cristina Barbosa Lazo. A woman of faith, generosity, kindness and wisdom. Thank you for your life, your beauty and grace is so encouraging. The wisdom that God has placed upon you is special and I will forever carry and share the lessons you’ve taught me. Lola, you hold such a special place in my heart.

Thank you. Thank you for bringing my beautiful Mum into this world and raising her to be godly, strong, independent, faithful and prayerful. I wouldn’t be the person that I am today because of you. As Mum is her mother’s daughter, she is exactly like you, and so am I to her. I’ve seen how God blessed you and every generation of your family and I believe that it doesn’t stop with me but it continues to go on and on and may God’s name be glorified above everything else.

I remembered the girls that God has placed in my life to catch up with and do life with, the ministry that I passionately care about that’s in the midst of breakthroughs, the mission that I have here on earth and the reason why I’m here. All this time, God was teaching me how to navigate life in the midst of grief.

I will miss sneaking into your room and watching TV with you. I will miss sitting at your feet as you tell stories of your childhood and also your children. I will miss your prayers that I will forever carry in my heart.

I will miss your smile and laughter and your great life advice and lessons.

That yes, taking time to pause and breathe is important but to be always reminded that the urgency for ministry in God’s Kingdom is high. That in my life, He has placed people that need to be discipled, that they need a friend and a sister to do life with. That this has always been what God’s plan and purpose for my life is. That my calling and my journey to become a full time minister is always going to be challenging but I cannot give up just because I don’t feel like it. I know it’s not going to be an easy journey but everything that I need is found in Christ alone.

I love you so much Lola Cristy. I hope I get to be as cool and hip and wise and generous as you.

Farewell for now and I’ll be dancing with you in heaven one day. Till we meet again.

As I stand on stage every Sunday and encourage the church that our response to God’s goodness is to worship Him, that’s what I will be doing for the rest of my life. Bad things happen, situations get tough, life can be challenging and sometimes you may feel sad, but God remains good ALWAYS. Therefore, I choose to worship Him for the rest of my days and I will use the wisdom He has given to learn how to navigate through tough seasons.

I will be aware of the family and community that God has placed me in to trust that I am covered in prayers and in love and support. I will not stop when things get hard but I will take time to pause, and let God’s grace cover me even in moments that I don’t even know what to say to Him. I will let God be God and trust that He is good and I will not be afraid in the most vulnerable moments in my life because in the midst of surrender, this is when THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

Jessica Cumla writes from Sydney Australia. She works as a retail manager and has a huge passion for creative arts especially music and writing. Singing and writing is one of the many ways she expresses creativity. She believes that art encourages and inspires people, but most of all, the greatest artist to ever display His astounding work of art is God. | 13 |

Thinking Aloud magazine reaches a diverse readership around the world including Nigeria, Zambia, United Kingdom, United States, Australia, Canada and the Philippines. Advertise in the magazine today and experience Growth in your enterprise.

Send your advert enquiries to: thinkingaloudpublication@gmail.com

mr segun osuntokun

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INTERVIEW WITH MR SEGUN OSUNTOKUN Managing Partner at Bryan Cave Leighton Paisner, London.

Q1: Tell us a bit about your childhood – family, educational background etc.

I was born in Ibadan in 1967; I am one of five siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers but we were actually eight because we grew up with our twin cousins and their brother. It was a full house with my parents being Medical Doctors with professional careers. I went to primary and secondary school in Ibadan. At 15, I went to boarding school in England for my A-levels after which I went to Queen Mary, University of London for a degree in Economics.

After my degree, I went back to Nigeria for my National Youth Service (NYSC) for a year and worked in a branch of Savannah Bank Limited in Ibadan. After my service year, my parents encouraged me to further my education and pursue a professional career so I went back to England and got a second degree in Law at Balliol College, Oxford University.

Q2: Can you walk us through your career journey?

After my law degree, I was recruited by a law firm in the City called Wilde Sapte, now part of the global law firm, Dentons. It was a City firm in those days doing banking and commercial work. I qualified at Wilde Sapte and stayed there for four years. After that, I moved to another law firm called Eversheds, another international law firm where I did a very short stint for just two years.

In 1999, I then moved to DLA Piper one of the largest law firms in the world; at that time it was not as big as it is now but it has grown to what it is.

I become a partner at DLA Piper in 2003, and after 5 years of partnership there I moved to Bryan Cave Leighton Paisner (BCLP) in 2008. I was appointed Managing Partner of BCLP’s London office in 2018; I have been there till date.

Q3: You are currently the Managing Partner at Bryan Cave Leighton Paisner, London – what principles would you say have guided you thus far?

The principles I learned from childhood are hard work and striving for excellence. My father was a world-renowned neurologist in his time and my mother a Professor of Ophthalmology and they always said to us - there are no short cuts, you have to put in the hard work in order to build a platform from which you can launch your career; that has been drummed into me from an early age.

As time has gone on the principles that have guided me have been drawn from me asking myself what does it mean to live a fulfilled, meaningful life? How THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

“Seeing myself differently through the eyes of others gives me satisfaction. ”

do you live life in a way that gives meaning to your existence? It is the desire to live that kind of life that is a guiding principle that I look to, to motivate me and give me drive. Within all of that is one’s vocation as a lawyer, your desire is to do well for your clients, become an expert in the field you have chosen and to do what you can for your clients, colleagues and the firm of which you are a part. In a leadership position it is to lead, to inspire and encourage others. Principles change as one matures.

Q4: Congratulations! You won the Black British Person of the Year in 2020; How did it feel to receive such recognition?

It was not something I was anticipating to happen, it came as a surprise but it was an honor. I am a commercial lawyer, so to be recognized as a “business person” is huge and very rewarding.

What gives me more satisfaction and joy is seeing the response of others to the recognition. I find it quite hard to take that much pleasure from my own success and I am never quite satisfied; I sometimes wonder what the fuss is, but when I see people respond to it and take a shared pride that gives me satisfaction. Seeing myself differently through the eyes of others gives me satisfaction.

Q5: In the words of Lisa Mayhew who is the CoChair, BCLP, you were appointed to lead the largest office of BCLP because your colleagues respect, trust and like you. What foundation would you say your values of integrity and fairness were built on?

My surest foundation for me has been my Christian upbringing, which plays an important role in my life. The life of Christ is an exemplary one not just because of who He is but also the way He lived.

From there everything else comes.

Q6: Your dad and mum are well known and respected academicians (both Professors) in Nigeria, what role did your upbringing play in who you have become today?

I remember my father saying to me that the best he can give me is a solid education and a good name, and that has always resonated with me and has been a constant reminder for me not to let down the name. All of that accompanied with integrity and values has shaped and always guided me in life. | 16 |

Q7: Your career journey is highly inspiring and there are many young individuals out there who want to be just like you, what important advice do you have for them?

Although we all have different paths in life and start from different places, as early as possible it is very important to seek values and virtues that are enduring. Regardless of faith and upbringing, I personally admire justice, prudence, courage and temperance, among others and they do not come of themselves; they are always a part of a story that involves adversity. Always take into account that life is hard and filled with challenges regardless of your background; the values that will help you face /live with those challenges are the ones you should seek.

Q8: What role has human relationships /networking played in your career progression? How important is it to foster and manage relationships?

Absolutely critical; there is no me without you, no us without others. We all have individual and collective stories as families, as nationals but we have a bigger story, which is, we are all interrelated as human beings. The only way I know to building a sustainable existence is by nurturing relationships and by having those connections, which make me a better human being. It has been critical in my career as is evident in what people have said and you need to also look out for others so they can do the same for you.

Q9: What drives and motivates you?

There is a desire to meet the basic needs of life – we all want a roof over our heads, provide for our families and we all want material needs met - but beyond that there is more; whether you have a faith or not, I believe most people have a sense of ‘there is more to life than just existing’.

For me it is the desire to live a finite life; always bearing in mind my own mortality in a realistic and practical way, knowing there is a purpose to my existence and this motivates me. The desire to live each moment as a gift in a meaningful way that gives glory to God. There is a saying that, the glory of God is a person who is fully alive, in other words it is in living a full and meaningful life that one is giving glory to God.

“I believe most people have a sense of ‘there is more to life than just existing’.”

Q10: You are an advocate for equality/greater equality for black people in every sphere of life particularly in the workplace, how much of an improvement would you say has happened since you began your career up until now?

Recently, because of my position, I have become sort of a lightning rod or a standard bearer for equality in the workplace. It is not something I sought out or was deliberate about; it is my upbringing, where I find myself and my desire to do all the things I have talked about spiritually and professionally that has led to this. I find myself in a position, which is seen as one where I can be, an advocate for equality and fairness and there is responsibility that goes with that. I could easily look away, because it is not my comfort zone and because by virtue of my upbringing I have had advantages that a lot of Black people in the UK don’t have. I have however come to recognize that I can still be an effective advocate and that I do not have to downplay those other factors because how I see myself is not necessarily how people see me.

With that context, has it changed? Yes it has changed. When I first went to the City in 1991, there were very few Black people in the City, certainly no Black partners and in those days walking in the City when you see another Black person you’ll almost sort of nod as if to say “I see you”. Fast-forward 30 years, there are many more Black partners, many of whom are Nigerians in City law firms which is quite interesting and through the ranks you see many more Black people being recruited, retained and promoted.

To an extent, Law is still quite a conservative profession and, although it is changing, it still needs to be a much more inclusive place where Black people can come in and not feel that they are different. It is changing but there is still a long way to go. The events of last year like Black Lives Matter have been a catalyst.

Q11: What particular areas do you think still needs work to be done in terms of greater equality for Black people in the workplace?

Commercial law firms are now recruiting a number of Black trainees in greater numbers than they have done previously. So you have young people starting their careers but the problem is retaining them through their careers and seeing them progress to partners in their organizations.

Work needs to be focused more on retaining and promoting them, which involves building an inclusive culture, having programmes in place for those who have not had equal opportunity in the past to access those opportunities and be given the same chance of succeeding as their White counterparts. | 17 |

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Q12: What role can individuals play in ensuring equality in the workplace?

Individuals within law firms such as myself, have an obligation to speak up, make ourselves available and to highlight the access which is open to aspiring Black professionals.

Q13: Mentors vs. Sponsors? Which do you think is more important to have while navigating one’s career?

I think you need both. Mentoring is having somebody more senior with more experience, giving you his or her time, helping you shape your own approach to your career. A sponsor is an advocate, somebody who speaks for you when you are not there. For example when I am talking to my other partners and saying you know this person is really great; I am advocating for them.

As a sponsor you are giving some of your own capital, your social capital or political capital in the network to promote this person. I think both are vital and they may come in at different phases in your life. If you are at a junior level, where you are just trying to build that platform and you are looking for coaching, for guidance, counseling, advice on how to deal with specific situations in order to get yourself to a platform where you can then start launching yourself, a mentor is key.

The more senior you get, and are looking for those openings where you need the backup of somebody who is prepared to stand behind you, that is where your sponsor is important. We have great programmes for both in my firm and they are equally important.

“I tell my mentees I am an open book, you ask me what you want, use me; point me in the direction you need the help to go in. ”

Q14: Do you have a deliberate mentoring approach or you tend to mentor young people who gravitate towards you for one reason or the other?

I don't have a deliberate approach in the sense that I didn't set myself out as a mentor. I get approached quite a lot. I try to make myself available.

I am also conscious that proper mentoring takes time, and you want to be invested in the person you are mentoring. If you have too many then you cannot do a good job.

I don’t have a particular number and sometimes if it feels like I am doing too much and I am not giving people enough time, I might just say to the next person my cup is full for now, I am not saying never but for now let us check in 6 months’ time to see how things are going then. I also don’t have a deliberate style of mentoring, I tell my mentees I am an open book, you ask me what you want, use me; point me in the direction you need the help to go in.

Q15: Failures are more often than not always a part of every success story; can you highlight one of those instances where things did not go as planned for you; how did you get past it to keep forging ahead?

I will give you two instances; when I was much younger, to the horror of my parents, I really was not that interested in academics. When I was 17, my first year at Queen Mary, University of London, I fell ill.

I came to Nigeria and had typhoid; I was hospitalized for a term and that itself was not a failure but I became aware that I've been falling quite short on my potential for a long time, all through my OLevels and A-Levels.

What that period of adversity did was it sort of sharpened my focus; the university gave me the option to repeat the year because I had so much time out or I could have a go at the exams at the end of year and see how I get on.

For the first time in my life I thought to myself you know what? I got nothing to lose and told myself I would try and make an effort, the sort I had never really made before and to my surprise I did quite well and from then on I kept striving for success.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

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The more proximate one in terms of career is when I was at DLA Piper, I was a senior associate, I was put up for partnership in 2002. I thought I had a very strong case with the various high profile cases I had worked on. It was part of the strong business case I had for partnership but for reasons which were explained to me as, the firm is not ready to make partners at this time, you are not yet ready, you won’t get through, give it one more year and then apply again. It was very hurtful because I felt had done everything that had been asked of me.

I remember the partners I worked with at that time encouraged and worked with me to build my cases up for another year and keep building the case for partnership. They gave me their word that they will keep on advocating my case, they will keep on sponsoring me, they asked me to trust them and trust myself and carry on doing with the work I was doing.

That for me was a setback, but I was put up the following year and the rest is history. I got partnership that following year. In the scheme of things, looking back now it did not matter at all but at the time it mattered a lot. It taught me to trust in the people who believe in me.

Q16: In hindsight, what advice would you give your younger self?

Looking back at my career and how far I have come, I would say don’t sweat the small stuff. The small stuff tends to be things your small self thinks about – what people think of you, an overwhelming sense that unless you have so much money you can never be happy and a desire to please other people.

The small stuff are things that belong to your small self not your true self. At an early age as much as you can tell yourself don’t sweat the small stuff, look out for the bigger picture.

Q17: What are the greatest challenges you think today’s youths face, and will face, as automation and artificial intelligence increasingly impact the economy?

The challenges are that the nature of work is changing, I take my profession for instance; when I was training, the level of contact I had with the

“That is the dream; that we get to a point where we can automate so many things and have more time to focus on creative things”

person training me was quite substantial. We had a partner dedicated to opening post so any post going out will be scrutinized and all posts coming in were scrutinized too. This meant that you were under the close watch at all times of a partner, who would tutor you on tactics and keep an eye on how you were dealing with the opposition.

All that has gone within my own career span.

Things are moving at a much quicker pace, particularly with electronic correspondence and also the tasks that lawyers used to be trained on are now not available because artificial intelligence has taken on quite a big chunk of that.

In litigation for instance, one of the processes we have in the UK is disclosure, where you are required to go through whole swathes of documents and pick out the relevant ones to disclose to the other side. These days a lot of this is done by artificial intelligence and you can have a machine read these documents, pick out key phrases and identify the documents for relevance.

My point is that when you are coming to my profession now, what you will be trained on is much different from what I was trained on; however, I am not sure that is necessarily a challenge because new entrants are not exposed to what went before.

They are faced with what they know now and they are better equipped to deal with it because they have grown up with this technology.

So, I think that the challenges that my generation see may not be viewed as a challenge by the current generation; that is what they have grown up to know. In those challenges are huge opportunities; when you look at financial technology, legal technology, the strides being made by digital natives, who are have taken processes and manipulated them to become more efficient thus freeing up time to do other things. That is the dream; that we get to a point where we can automate so many things and have more time to focus on creative things.

Q18: What advice do you have for Nigerians in diaspora?

Wherever you are, stay close to Nigeria and I don’t mean you should not embrace the location in which you are in. I am not saying you should not be a good citizen or guest where you are, but always remember that you have multiple heritages.

Do not give up your Nigerian heritage. Remember we are all ambassadors in a sense. There are so many Nigerians doing many amazing things in different spheres rather than the negative narratives we tend to hear more of. Maintain a good grounding in your Nigerian heritage; don’t give up. | 19 |

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Q19: What impact did your faith have on your achievements/successes thus far? What is the place of God in your life’s experience?

It is central; as St Paul said in Him we move, we live and have our being. That is a phrase I recall constantly every day. I have talked earlier about the values which I hold dear and in that respect I place a lot of importance on the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

That is what I ask for - to be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness, kindness and self-control. These values and affirmative experiences are what I want to live out in my own life.

Q20: What do you get up to when you are not working? How do you maintain a good work-life balance with the different projects you are involved in?

The pandemic has made it very difficult to do things one would normally enjoy doing like travelling and socializing which is what I love to do. I love being around other people. I love reading but these days it is more of listening. I listen to a lot of audio books, fiction and non-fiction.

I listen to a lot of podcasts too. I watch television and will occasionally look to see what’s interesting on Netflix etc. I am also enrolled in evening classes at Birkbeck College, University of London pursuing my curiosity in psychology.

I have a lecture every Thursday evening for two hours, I have essays to write and I have exams. I am also currently learning French; I practice my French 20 to 30 minutes every morning after my morning meditations.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

“I am careful about what I eat, although I have to say that it takes a bit more intentionality to eat healthy. ”

Q21: How do you stay healthy and remain fit?

I exercise every day. I have a morning routine, I am an early riser - I do my morning prayer, morning meditation, practice my French and I usually go for a run or I do weights or I do aerobic exercising indoors. I am careful about what I eat, although I have to say that it takes a bit more intentionality to eat healthy.

I try to maintain a good level of fitness; I run 7 to 8km two or three times a week just to make sure I am healthy. This is because a good aspect of stress management is exercise and I find out that there are few problems that can be solved after a decent exercise routine and sleep. I am fanatical about sleep, 7 hours a night is my aim. Sleep is so important.

TA Magazine: Thank you so much sir for sharing your experience and story with us. There are so many lessons and we look forward to our readers benefiting from this interview. We are proud of you as a good ambassador of Nigeria and wish you more successes in your future endeavours.

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Update on our Education Support Program In 2020, the Foundation supported forty-seven (47) students; eighteen of them were new beneficiaries while twenty-nine of them were current beneficiaries. We also increased the number of beneficiaries in primary and secondary schools by partnering with Isrina School in Ajegunle, Lagos and other schools. The Isrina School is a primary school set up by a young lady in Ajegunle to reduce the number of out of school children in that area. This school is unique, as a plastic recycling project initiated by the owner of the school, enables some of the parents to fund the cost of their children’s education. We decided to partner with the school and adopted three of their pupils.

Three of our beneficiaries were also called to bar last year. This brings to six, the number of beneficiaries sponsored through law school since 2017.

To further our commitment to our mission, we adopted six new tertiary students in February 2021 THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

and also partnered with Calvary Arrows School in Gboko Benue State to give scholarships to five of their students; these students will be supported until they obtain their first degrees.

Partner with Us to Sponsor a Child The ‘Adopt a Student’ scheme is an initiative of the Foundation to have donors sponsor the education of particular beneficiaries. The sponsor can choose to remain anonymous but the annual academic performance of the student will be shared with his/ her sponsor. There are twenty-six (26) primary and secondary students available for adoption and some tertiary students are also available.

RDSF Soft skills Webinar Given our commitment to mentoring and supporting indigent young people in Nigeria, we have over the years promoted the acquisition of ICT and soft skills relevant for entrepreneurial and workplace success. Since the inception of this programme, over 400 young people have benefited from it. Last year we were able to organize two webinar sessions and gave N100,000 grant each to two entrepreneurs. We also partnered with Wistraledge Consulting to enroll fifteen young entrepreneurs into its business mentorship programme and organized a bespoke training programme for sixteen amputees. | 22 |

RDSF Grant Awardees ‘Asake shoes and Repairs’ and ‘Herry Farms’ benefited from the RDSF Grants in support of young entrepreneurs. Below we share their testimony showing major highlights of their progress to date.

• Henry Farms The sum of N100,000 was received from the Rehoboth Dream Solid foundation on 31st October, 2020 as a grant given to the winner of the webinar session on Writing a good Business Proposal. This amount was used solely for running the business.

• Asake shoes and repairs Asake shoes and Repairs on the 31st of October 2020, received One Hundred thousand naira as business grant from Rehoboth Dream Solid foundation. The grant was used for:

I was able to make a profit of N27,100 after recovering my start up capital of N100,000; which will be reinvested. I used N21,000, for my CAC registration as this is paramount for a business and will be beneficial in the future to access any other support and to carry out larger business transactions. This business is officially undergoing registration as HERRY FARMS. The name has been approved but the certification is ongoing.

i. ii. iii. iv.

Bulk purchase of shoe leather materials Bulk purchase of shoe rubber soles Threads Shoe design accessories

The grant also made it possible to register with an online store (konga) as we were able to mass produce to a certain measure. We hope to do better in the near future.

We say a big thank you for the assistance given to our company. We are happy to be associated with this foundation.

Online store: https://www.konga.com/merchant/ asake?page=1 Email: ourheritage.enterprise@yahoo.com Tel: 08157172288 Facebook page: Asake shoes and repairs Instagram handle: asakeshoesnrepairs

Bolatito Olatunde

The grant was very helpful to me; to kick start my dream of being an entrepreneur. I actually made mistakes at first but adjusted as I learnt from my mistakes. I plan to expand my business in future as I intend to venture into other aspects of agriculture after acquiring the associated skills and capital.

This was taken into consideration before starting the business registration process. I also dream of becoming African’s Top entrepreneur. I plan to use digital marketing to drive sales and to this effect, Herry Farms now has a Facebook business page with over 1000 engagements.

Thank you to Rehoboth dream solid foundation for making my dream a reality.

Inyeneabasi Eshiet

Upcoming Event The RDSF 2021 call for Scholarship Applications will be open between 1st April to 15th April 2021.

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BACKGROUND My name is Lawrence Andrew Akor, male, and second child of two children. I hail from Ogbadibo Local Government Area of Benue state. I hold a Bachelor of Laws (LL.B) from University of Jos and a Bachelor at Law (BL) from Nigerian Law School, Abuja Campus. I am currently a Corp Member serving with the Ministry of Justice, Katsina, Katsina State.

THE STRUGGLE FOR A BETTER LIFE I attended Sabon-gari Model Primary School, Kaura -namoda, Zamfara state. This was a government (public) school. We were only paid a token of NGN20 as Parent Teachers Association (PTA) fee and NGN10 as fee for our report sheet in a term. I remembered vividly that we were taught eight subjects; Arabic, Hausa and Islamic Religious Studies were practically compulsory.

THE CRADLE I have been with my family all my life and have noticed how we got to this present state. My Dad completed his National Diploma in 1996 when I was four years old and he had to stay for a while without job. He later got a job with the Nigerian Railways Corporation (NRC) where he was sometimes not paid for months. Initially, he didn’t like the idea of my Mom working; we had to rely on him for virtually everything.

We were allowed to take Christian Religious Studies examination only on examination day in place of Islamic Religious Studies and we were never taught in school. We were advised to attend Sunday school as supplement for normal classes.

An attempt to persuade my Dad to change our school to a private school was met with harsh and adverse comments. This will not be unconnected with his poor financial standing and the family predicament.

The non-payment of salaries and the travail faced by the then Nigerian Railways Corporation eventually Within this period, my Dad had to do a lot of jobs led my Dad into quitting his job. This alone brought just to ensure that we fed. On one of such occasions, he sold liquor (alcohol), which is still prohibited in untold hardship to the family.

Zamfara state. Sometimes he would be arrested and At a point, my elder brother and I would jubilate embarrassed publicly but couldn’t quit because he upon sighting rice been prepared. All this happened had to feed his family. There were times when while we were residing at Kaura-namoda, Zamfara despite calculating his profit before sales he still did state. not break even as he had to make sales on credit.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

| 24 |

In 2001,an opportunity came up for my Dad to get a job; my Dad met a Police Commandant who was ready to help get him into the Nigerian Police Force. He sold everything to raise the money for the quest and left us with only NGN5, 000. My Mom continued the business of liquor sales and was sending money to my father while He was in Police College, Sokoto.

nothing. My Mom’s only sister – Comfort Uloko came through for us. She was a relief to the family.

She assisted us financially and we always looked up to her for practically everything. I got 14 points from a possible 16 in my IJMB examinations however the results couldn’t secure me admission to study law as a dream course (a course I made up my mind to study since I was in Primary Three).

The news that my Dad’s recruitment was successful in 2002 was met with great joy; he even sent some pictures of himself. My Mom handling my dad’s business became a turning point in our family. She managed it efficiently and effectively and unlike my dad who sold on credit, my Mom was very strict.

In 2013, I eventually secured admission to the University of Jos to study law. The next problem afterwards was that I still had to wait for Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) to suspend its strike that year. My admission was a great news for all and sundry. Members of my family in particular couldn’t hide their joy, as their son will soon be a barrister.

Soon we began to have Christmas clothes and good food. My Mom was practically the head of the family because my Dad’s salary as at 2004 when I completed my primary school was not up to NGN10,000.

In 2005, I was enrolled into Federal Government College Anka, Zamfara State, while my brother gained admission in 2004 with my Mom responsible for our fees. This was herculean, as she also had to send some money to my Dad who was far away at Abuja. While in school, we were not like other children. We were mindful of our spending and always have at the back of our minds our background. We often returned our pocket money back home and our Mom was very pleased with us.

THE UNIVERSITY STRUGGLE I graduated in 2010, from Federal Government College, Anka, with one of the best results in the school. Due to the challenge in securing admission into tertiary institutions in Nigeria, I enrolled at Federal Polytechnic Kaura-namoda for an IJMB programme. During this programme, the house that my Dad and Mom were building at Masaka, karu LGA, of Nasarawa State was roofed and near completion.

My Mom was asked to relocate to Nasarawa state and that was not helpful to us at all. The support from our Mom ceased and we all relied on our father’s low income to survive. My elder brother was also in school and Mom was at home doing

“As my lecturers would say, ‘the legal profession is not for the poor’. My dad did his best.”

This is coupled with the fact that I had been applying for admission for three years without success. They were oblivious of the fact that the profession is capital intensive. As my lecturers would say, the legal profession is not for the poor.

My dad did his best.

He ensured that my year one fees were paid with a reasonable pocket money for me to live well in school. This was because he was still basking in the euphoria of his son studying law in the university.

My fees were only paid and there was no money for textbooks. I “squeezed” to buy lecture notes and this got even worse in my 200 level. My pocket money was affected badly, so, I had to borrow books from friends.

MANNING TO THE TASK It was obvious that my Dad’s salary would not be sufficient for my family. . This was never his fault because my brother was also in school and my mom very sick at that period. I had to do something to support myself. I decided to teach whenever I was on vacation. Most times, I didn’t resume at the same time with my mates as I had to work for an additional month to raise some money. Most of my mates thought I was unserious but the few that were close to me knew my predicament. God blessed me with the gift of good friends.

My friends were very loving and caring in the university. We were called Golden six – Feng Mandung Pwajok, Nuhu Kim Mali, Charity Oganya Ogbole, John Ben Odeh and Dominic Okaja Dominic. We are still very much together and close as the bond we share seem to be growing even stronger.

These friends were very helpful in school – academically, financially, morally, etc. Giwa Anyinpoyi, Stephanie Alli and Happiness Adamu also came to my rescue on many occasions. | 25 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

To further cut down expenses in school, I decided to cook once in a week. I would take garri in addition to whatever I ate from my friends. The lecture timetable was also helpful as we were so busy that one would forget that he hasn’t eaten.

TURNING POINT In 2015, while in 200 level and towards the end of our second semester examinations, I was thinking about my school fees for the next level when Giwa Anyinpoyi recommended me to our level coordinator – Matthias Zachariah for RDSF scholarship. I met the requirements but was reluctant to upload the necessary documents due to my previous experiences.

I arrived home on the very day I finished my GST examination to resume my teaching job as usual.

The news at home was not palatable as my Dad was seriously sick. That was when I realised that I needed to complete my scholarship application, which I earlier put on hold.

I sent all necessary documents to RDSF via email and an acknowledgement message was sent. I had even forgotten that I applied for a scholarship when I was contacted by my mentor and big brother Mr. Edison Egere that I needed to be in Jos for my interview.

“The support for my law school tuition fee by RDSF was unexpected. It was indeed succour and a massive relief. ”

I made straight for home knowing that I needed to travel. At home I got additional NGN500 from my Mom. That was how I was able to attend my interview.

Fortunately for me, I was considered for the RDSF scholarship at the time my sun was about setting at noon. My Dad whom I lent some of the money to buy drugs didn’t survive his sickness. My life in school afterwards was a bit smooth as I was able to buy books and pay fees as and at when due. The support for my law school tuition fee by RDSF was unexpected. It was indeed succour and a massive relief.

I was confused at that point and didn’t know what to do. How do I get to Jos considering my Dad’s ill health? There was no money in the house. I put a call through to Mr. Edison Egere to know if it was possible for me to reschedule my interview.

The answer was negative, as the team was coming to Jos from Lagos for that purpose. The question was how much was my transport fare to Jos then?

The sum of NGN2500 would take care of that. The amount I couldn’t afford. It was that bad. I became hopeless and very worried.

I went to church, the Sunday before the interview that was scheduled for Tuesday. That was when I actually believed that God is on the throne. I am a Catholic. The chairman of the Catholic Men Organisation – Mr Bitrus P. Zuli came to our youth meeting.

He was meant to address the youths and towards the conclusion of his address, he acknowledged me as “the Jesus of the church” (I had acted the role of Jesus in the Good Friday Passion play).

The Chairman told the youths that he promised to give me “something for malt” but had failed to do so. He immediately brought out the sum of NGN2,000 from his pocket and gave me. I was filled with joy. I didn’t share the money with anyone.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

APPRECIATION My big brother Edison Egere has been very helpful and supportive in school. He often calls to check on me. To the entire RDSF family, I will forever be grateful to you. By your kind gesture, I have decided that I shall also affect humanity positively.

I pray for the opportunity after my youth service to give back not to just RDSF but the society at large.

Kindness is not measured by the result you get in return. Sometimes it is exhibited in order to affect people even without any affiliation with them. I make bold to say that this is a gesture that is being exhibited by RDSF today. God bless RDSF. To the glory of God, I am now a Barrister and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria. | 26 |

We had to worry about how we appeared on Zoom or Teams. Making sure our videos didn't come on accidently revealing our pyjamas or matted hair, our untidy rooms or the hole in the ceiling which Baba Kamoru was supposed to have replaced but couldn't because we are unable to tell if he is asymptomatic and his nostrils are never covered by his home-made mask anyway. Add the stress of having to sanitise hands, groceries, clothing; bathing after each outing to buy groceries, having to drive because we are too scared to have our driver with us in such a confined space and he takes public transport to work!

All over

the world, the Covid-19 virus has had a tremendous impact on physical and mental health but the impact on relationships (especially marriages) is often overlooked. Husbands and wives have coping mechanisms that enable them to handle the many challenges that marriages face. Many of these mechanisms are, however, outside the home: sports, meals/drinks with friends, spa visits, parties and in Nigeria, “owambes” (our large social gatherings where for at least four hours our problems are forgotten in the wake of ear drum bursting music, dancing and lots to eat and drink).

Then came Covid with isolation, social distancing, lockdowns and other measures that took away our props! Couples were confined to their homes and relationships 24/7! Hairline cracks in relationships became fissures, fissures became gulfs and even couples with solid relationships found themselves snapping at each other out of sheer exasperation at the new normal way of life!

Essential service workers had a lot more to do under a lot more pressure and with the fear of getting infected and possibly infecting their families. Other workers generally found that after the first week, working from home was a nightmare. Except, of course, those who didn't work in the office anyway and whose contributions were never really expected or missed (and for whom this was a holiday); work became an endless cycle of starting early, working with no closing time, having no real support because of isolation and the lazy workers could hide under a myriad of excuses: no data, no power, no Wi-Fi, manifesting Covid symptoms.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

So of course there is more pressure on us and the pressure points erupt and affect our home life. Woe betide any spouse or child who even so much as adds to the pressure. So tiptoeing around Mummy and understanding (or trying to) when Daddy snaps has become a way of life.

After a while, many of us found our rhythm, faith kicked in, adjustments were made. For others however, separations have happened and divorces are underway and Covid has shown the soft underbelly of many marriages. Thankfully many of the Covid measures have been eased, but for many the tension remains because it is not business as usual, just yet.

As people of faith, this is the time to practice what we preach. Marriage is hard work but it is worth it (more often than not). Love and honour one another and work out our disagreements; do things together: laugh together and watch comedies on TV together, eat together, don't skip the intimacy and make ourselves more alluring (e.g. don't bath and brush our teeth at 5pm just because we aren't going out) and pray like our lives and marriages depend on it because they do!

Mrs. Ronke Osikoya holds a law degree (LLB) from the University of Lagos and an MBA from the same University. She is a Certified Trainer for the Commonwealth Association on Corporate Governance and a Management Consultant who co-runs a management consulting firm, Pedion Partnership Limited. Mrs. Osikoya is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation and married with two adult sons. | 27 |

Passion, Peace, Courage, Prayer, Fear, Heartbreak, Strength, Pain, Commitment and so much more.

The book features 39 Co-Authors…

If you would like to read the book, it is available for purchase on Amazon: https://www.amazon.ca/40-Pearls-Wisdom-InspiringBeautiful-ebook/dp/B07MBVGDTX and other major online outlets and bookstores in Nigeria.

For more information you can send an email to bimboroses@yahoo.com ABOUT THE BOOK We have all seen women weak and vulnerable. We watch when they are giving birth to new ideas, new business, new goals, new homes, or new relationships.

And those of us who feel empowered give our sisters the safe space so they can try, fail, create, let go, heal and recover...

We close in tight and quite literally have each other's back. Like beautiful pearls, with new beginnings in the horizon, when the healing finally starts and she’s ready for MORE, we sound our trumpets, because we did it together.

We let the world know she’s ready! In this collaborative project, visionary author Kemi Ajetunmobi in honor of her 40th Birthday - provides a platform in this book, for 39 other women to share intimate details of the WISDOM they have gained from experiencing tragedies, pitfalls, life challenges and self-imposed limits.

40 PEARLS OF WISDOM is a book with inspiring stories as told by 40 women who share intimate details of the wisdom they have gained from life’s experiences and got a CROWN to show for it - their stories highlight some of life's most poignant experiences and circumstances which center around Hope, Perseverance, Honor, Death, Beauty, Support, Wisdom, Violence, Patience, Tenacity, Faith, Happiness, Love, | 28 |

A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

This edition we shall consider an unlikely topic - sleep.

Gen 2:21-23

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” The first time we hear of sleep in the word of God is in Genesis 2:21. God caused a deep sleep to come upon Adam - in this period Adam was not aware of his surroundings, control of his body was no longer in his own hand but in God's hands and God used that period to bring something good out of Adam. The story remains largely the same today, when we sleep, we give a free hand to God to take control and do good for us.

Let us first see what medical science tells us. There are two basic types of sleep, Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep and non-REM sleep (which has three different stages); THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

REM sleep first occurs about 90-120 minutes after falling asleep. In this phase, our eyes move rapidly from side to side under closed eyelids and brain wave activity frequency is similar to that seen in wakefulness. This is the phase where most of our dreaming occurs (although some can also occur in non-REM sleep) and our muscles become temporarily paralyzed such that we can not move our arms and legs.

Stage 1 non-REM sleep is a very short period of relatively light sleep between wakefulness and sleep.

During this phase, our heartbeat, breathing and eye movements slow down and our muscles relax with occasional twitches. Key here is that our brain waves begin to slow from their daytime wakefulness patterns.

Stage 2 non-REM sleep is the next stage of light sleep before deeper sleep. Heartbeat and breathing slow down, and muscles relax even further. Our body temperature drops and eye movements stop. Brain wave activity slows but is marked by brief bursts of electrical activity.

Stage 3 non-REM sleep is the phase of deep sleep that the body needs to feel refreshed in the morning. It occurs in longer periods during the first half of the night. Heartbeats and breathing slow to their lowest levels during sleep and muscles are relaxed and it may be difficult to awaken us. | 29 |

Now why this long story? It is to make us understand that there is sleep and then there is sleep. Or better still, not all sleep is the same. What we need is deep sleep in enough quantity to allow God to do a work of restoration and rejuvenation in our bodies. Two key things happen when we sleep well and sleep deep, the body is refreshed and the immune system is boosted; 

The body produces muscle-building hormones restoring broken down/tired muscles



Blood flow to the muscles is increased



Body tissue growth and repair occurs



The muscles relax, helping to relieve tension and reduce some pain symptoms



Like a computer, the shut-down and restart allows the ‘apps’ to refreshed for optimal performance - the immune system enjoys a boost



Concentration and attention span is much improved

This list of benefits is endless.

Most engines require a mandatory period of shut down after a specific number of hours and for man, God has ordained that we strive by day and rest by night. Therefore failure to get enough quality sleep makes it difficult for the body to repair itself, leaving us feeling spent, tired and exhausted in body, soul and spirit. The recommended shut-down period for an adult is 6-8 hours of sleep, not just giving the body enough time to go through the four stages of sleep but also sufficient time to remain in deep sleep mode to enjoy the benefits of restoration.

“A good night’s sleep has been known to be the answer to many physical and emotional problems.”

A good night's sleep has been known to be the answer to many physical and emotional problems. So now that we know why we need to sleep, sleep deep and sleep deep long, what next? Behaviours that affect our ability to sleep well need to change; less time on late night social media, less late night TV and movie binging, less late idle chats on the telephone, early dinners to enable early bedtime, setting an alarm for bed -time….. what ever we need to do, let's do it and give our hard working bodies a chance to recharge and recover every night (ok, most nights) If you have a list of targets to achieve in 2021, update it to include a sleep target and I can assure you that your physical and mental well being will thank you for it.

Mrs Elozino Olaniyan holds a Bachelor’s of Engineering Degree in Chemical Engineering from the University of Benin-City, Nigeria and has 25+ years industry experience as a Petroleum Engineer.

She is married to Engineer Olafemi Olaniyan and together they have three children. She lives in Lagos Nigeria where she serves as a minister in her local church. In her spare time, she writes an inspirational blog www.Elozino.wordpress.com. She is passionate about her fitness regime and shares some tips with TA readers.

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A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

Asthma

causes inflammation in the airways of the lungs known as the bronchial tubes. During an asthma attack, the bronchial tubes swell. The muscles around them also tighten. This makes it difficult for air to move through the lungs. The result is asthma symptoms such as: •

coughing

•

wheezing

•

chest tightness

•

shortness of breath

If you have asthma, you may be curious about whether certain food and diet choices could help you manage your condition. There’s no conclusive evidence that a specific diet has an effect on the frequency or severity of asthma attacks.

At the same time, eating fresh, nutritious foods may improve your overall health as well as your asthma symptoms.

According to a research review in the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine, a shift from eating fresh foods, like fruits and vegetaTHINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

bles, to processed foods may be linked to an increase in asthma cases in recent decades. Although more study is needed, early evidence suggests that there’s no single food or nutrient that improves asthma symptoms on its own. Instead, people with asthma may benefit from eating a well-rounded diet high in fresh fruits and vegetables. Food also comes into play as it relates to allergies.

Food allergies and food intolerances occur when your immune system overreacts to specific proteins in foods.

In some cases, this can result in asthma symptoms.

Asthma and Obesity Obesity is a major risk factor for developing asthma.

In addition, asthma in people who are obese may be more severe and more difficult to treat. Eating a balanced diet and maintaining a healthy weight may make it easier to manage your condition.

Foods to Add to Your Diet 

Vitamin D-rich foods, such as milk and eggs



Beta carotene-rich vegetables, such as carrots and leafy greens



Magnesium-rich pumpkin seeds | 31 |

foods,

such as

spinach

and

There’s no specific diet recommended for asthma, but there are some nutrients and foods that may help support lung function: •

•

•

•

•

Getting enough vitamin D may help reduce the number of asthma attacks in children age 6-15, according to the Vitamin D Council. Sources of vitamin D include salmon, milk, fortified milk, fortified orange juice, and eggs.

A study in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology found women with asthma who consumed higher levels of beta carotene, a form of vitamin A, had a better quality of life. Good sources of beta carotene are carrots, cantaloupe, sweet potatoes, leafy greens, broccoli, and spinach.

An apple a day may keep asthma away. According to a research review in Nutrition Journal, apples were associated with a lower risk of asthma and increased lung function.

A survey published in the European Respiratory Journal found that bananas might decrease wheezing due to asthma in children. This may be due to the fruit’s antioxidant and potassium content, which may improve lung function.

A study in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that children age 11-19 who had low magnesium levels also had low lung flow and volume. Kids can improve their magnesium levels by eating magnesium-rich foods like spinach, pumpkin seeds, chard, dark chocolate, and salmon.

Some foods may trigger asthma symptoms and should be avoided: •

Sulfites are a type of preservative that may worsen asthma. Sulfites are found in wine, dried fruits, pickled food, maraschino cherries, shrimp, and bottled lemon and lime juice.

•

Eating large meals or foods that cause gas puts pressure on your diaphragm, especially if you have acid reflux. This may cause chest tightness and trigger asthma flares. These foods include beans, cabbage, carbonated drinks, onions, garlic, and fried foods.

•

Although it’s rare, some people with asthma may be sensitive to salicylates found in coffee, tea, and some herbs and spices.

•

Chemical preservatives, flavorings, and colorings are often found in processed and fast food. Some people with asthma may be sensitive or allergic to these artificial ingredients.

•

People with food allergies may also have asthma.

Dairy products, shellfish, wheat, and tree nuts are among the most common allergens.

It’s best to consult your doctor before you start avoiding certain foods.

“It’s best to consult your doctor before you start avoiding certain foods.”

Foods to Avoid 

Sulfites, which are found in wine and dried fruits



Foods that can cause gas, including beans, cabbage, and onions



Artificial ingredients, such as chemical preservatives or other flavorings

Mrs. Ajayi Olubusola is the MD of Florencejohn Health affiliated to Narayana Health India. A highly experienced Nursing Professional with over 35 years working experience. She previously worked in the medical unit of a reputable Oil and Gas company for 31 years with quality experience as a Senior Nursing Sister in all aspects of Nursing Care Units.

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A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

1. I am the most important priority

9. Rehoboam strengthened himself

in life. An emotionally, mentally and spiritually nourished person has more value to give. You can't run life on an empty tank; substance is more important than mere presence.

over the kingdom of Judah (profession, shop etc. - 2 Chron.

12:1), but David strengthened himself in the Lord (Samuel 30:6). The attention we give to eternal things will determine our overall success.

2. Learn to plan ahead, (have sav-

10. Learn to enjoy your company.

ings, cash at hand, home essentials etc.) emergencies never announce their arrival.

When the storms of life come, man's opinion is the least of your problems.

3. Develop coping skills and avoid

11. Chaos is not the end of life,

over-indulgence. Your resilience and perseverance will determine your survival.

everything that is formless can be reshaped. We have a perfect example in Genesis 1:1-4.

4. You are a product of the five

12. Don't cry over spilt milk, pour

people you spend your time with the most. Invest in family and keep company with good support systems.

another glass and enjoy your drink.

You can begin again.

5. Even the strongest of men have weak moments, don't give excuses for your bad habits, crucify them now before they overpower you.

6. Every man was born with innate creativity, you can overcome a monotonous life. Look within, research, ask and do. Noah and his family were locked-in for 24 months, they kept each other company.

7. The pressure for survival is what leads to desperation. Never do anything until you know God's position about it. Make this your default setting.

the true test of friendship. Who reached out to you during lockdown? Who did you reach out to?

19. Adversity showcases your investment in your family. Did you thrive or merely survived?

20. Six months is long enough to break a bad habit or create a new one. Self-improvement is intentional. There are no two ways about it. © Lola Olaide-Stephen

13. Busyness can never produce value. Focus your energy more on what is important. Needs are greater than wants.

14. Amassing excess accessories will never be a survival strategy, only the minimal necessities of life are all that matters. Invest right.

15. True riches is a heart at peace with God; luxury can never be a getaway route from anxiety.

16. Good health is the best gift to yourself, make your health #1 priority.

17. No single human being has

8. What you build your life on will

control over life. 2020 caught everyone unawares without exception.

determine your joy. What takes your time, energy and resources most?

18. Prolonged physical absence is

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

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Lola is a Strategy & Operations Effectiveness Consultant with several years of experience backed up with records of superior results in a variety of challenging and multicultural teams.

Her overall life’s goal is to constantly remain in God’s Will for her life as well as assist her children in accomplishing their God given mandates.

She is happily married to Abimbola Olaide-Stephen and blessed with two children.

Oh my body! Made of air and dust Touching it, I feel alive and so soft While I tried doing what I must You ended up shrinking to what you were not

Wrinkled face, folded mouth, now I have on me Crying teeth, see, it won’t stop shaking Watery breasts, I can’t take off me And tiny eyes, it blinks, both suffering

Everyone knew who I was Beautiful and strong, yes, but that was once Suddenly, I became like a poor child to a nurse My old self, now! that’s what I want

Now I see, the Earth is full of vanity Yes! vanity upon vanity All I wish I had is vanity And till it ends, it will be vanity

I remember when my body was mine I could stitch, bake and prepare wine Now, I can’t even mix the flour fine Have I undergone the effect of time?

While I can While I can I want to do all I can While I can

O you my body, listen, you got ears What would be of you in the nearest years?

Should I be ready to pack and sing with the angels?

Child, please wake me up from this mares

Poetess Da Grace © 2021

Why on me pronounced all these weak words?

All to Mr Time, I cast all the faults Despite all my achievement and worth I won’t believe that I’ll eventually rot

Eunice Olatunji AKA Poetess Da Grace has a B.Tech degree (Geology) from Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Oyo state. She writes poems, articles and stories to improve the value system of her readers. Her poems have been published in Thinking Aloud magazines and ‘www.youthandsingles.com’

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A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

the rehoboth dream solid foundation board of trustees Rear Admiral Oladeinde (‘Deinde) Olusoga Joseph was born at Ara-Moko, Ekiti State into the humble family of late Mr. Joseph Owolabi and late Mrs. Ajibabi Owolabi on the 9th of May 1948.

He enlisted into the Nigerian Navy in July 1967 and later graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy Kaduna and was commissioned as a Sub -Lieutenant in July 1971 in India. He received professional training as a naval officer in India, United Kingdom and the United States of America. Rear Admiral Joseph is a graduate of the Nigeria Command and Staff College Jaji and the prestigious National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies Kuru.

As a professional naval officer, he went through all the ranks in the Navy until he was promoted to the full Rear Admiral rank in 1998. While in the Navy, he had 4 sea commands, which included that of NNS Aradu (the Navy’s flag ship), 2 Training bases and 2 Operational bases. He had 2 tours at Jaji Staff College as Chief Instructor and Director of the Naval Faculty. He was also the Military Governor of Ogun State between 1990 and 1992. His last job was Chief of Navy Personnel at Naval Headquarters until he retired in June 1999.

Married to Mrs. Katherine Lolade Joseph since April 1975, Rear Admiral ‘Deinde Joseph is blessed with 3 children; Toyin (now Mrs. Borisade), and the boys Seyi and Jide, all University graduates. His hobbies are photography, reading and he is a handicap 9 golfer. A practicing Christian of Methodist Church of the Trinity, Tinubu since 1967, he has a passion to help the less privileged in the society.

Rear Admiral Joseph is a recipient of the National Honour of the Commander of the Order Of the Niger (CON), and brings his experience and goodwill to the Foundation as the Chairman, Board of Trustees of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Ms. Ketumi Alasa was born on 12th February 1956 and hails from the Etsako West Local Government Area of Edo State. She had her tertiary education (HND Computer Science) from the Sheffield City Polytechnic, England. Her work life commenced with her NYSC, during which she served with The Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria Ltd. in Lagos between 1979 and 1980.

Thereafter, she worked for Royal Exchange Assurance as a Computer Programmer from 1980 to 1981. She was also employed by Delta Steel Company Aladja as a Computer Programmer/ Analyst developing and maintaining computer applications from 1981-1984.

In 1984, she was employed by The Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria Ltd as a Computer Programmer Analyst in the Information Technology department. She worked with Shell until 2008 when she retired after a successful and rewarding career.

Since retirement, with her strong entrepreneurial skills, she has been running a business of furniture, household and home decorative items. She has 5 kids, 4 of whom have successfully completed their university education. In her leisure time, she enjoys gospel music and playing golf, for which she has won numerous awards.

She is a devoted Christian with a deep passion for missionaries and their families. She loves to extend help and support to the less privileged. Ms. Ketumi Alasa is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

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A QUARTERLY MAGAZINE

Deacon Samson Madu Igbokwe is a 1983 B.Pharm Graduate of Pharmacy from the former University of Ife (Unife), now known as Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU). In addition, he gained a Masters in Business Administration Degree (MBA) from the University of Lagos (Unilag) in 2000. He also acquired a Certificate of Proficiency in Information Systems Management (CPISM).

Shortly after his Youth Service Corp at Military Hospital Lagos, he set up his own pharmacy business at S.W. Ikoyi, Lagos in 1985 which he has been running as Chairman/Managing Director till date. This is a company that supplies and distributes pharmaceuticals to its community and hospitals in Lagos State.

A devout and practicing Christian, he gave his life to Christ on March 31, 1991 in The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM), Akoka. Since then, he has served in various capacities in TREM as House Fellowship Centre Leader, Zonal Leader, Assistant Area Co -coordinator and Financial Secretary/ Treasurer of Caleb Group of the Christian Men Fellowship.

He is currently serving as the Chairman Hospital Visitation Ministry in TREM. He is a member of Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria (PSN) and a Treasurer at Ikoyi Pharmacy Community Zone. He has passion for contributing to his community, and often assists in reaching out to orphans, the fatherless and widows in the community.

Periodically, he visits in a group and prays for the sick in hospitals in Lagos, ministering to their spiritual, physical and material needs. He is happily married to his amiable wife Mrs. Roseline Igbokwe and they have 5 children. Deacon Samson Igbokwe is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Deaconess Roseline Igbokwe was born on November 2, 1965 in Ikoyi, Lagos, and is married to Pharmacist Samson M. Igbokwe.

She is an alumna of Sikkim Manipal University (SMU), Gangtok, India and the University of Lagos (UNILAG); Bsc. in Applied Information Technology, Business Administration and Masters in Business Administration(MBA) from the same institution.

She holds a Certificate of Proficiency in Information Systems Management (CPISM), Advanced Diploma in Systems Engineering (ADSE), Certificate in Strategies for Managing and Collecting Data (LBS) and Certificate in Core Sales Skills (LCT). She worked with Texaco Nigeria Plc as well as Chevron Oil Nigeria Plc as Food Mart Supervisor, Senior Retail Business Consultant, South, and then MRS Oil Nigeria Plc as District Sales Manager, Southwest Nigeria, Credit Control Manager for Nigeria, Aviation Commercial, Retail Sales Manager for Southeast/Southwest Nigeria and Head, Sales & Marketing. Nigeria.

A hard worker with enthusiasm for excellence, in 2006 she won the ‘African Pakistan Global Downstream 2006 Cultural Award, of Customer Facing and Market Focused ’ in Chevron, having executed superior and consistent execution and sales implementation of all programs, processes and systems.

She had focused the department’s organization around achieving the best business financial targets through an agreed set of Profit & Loss control measures in all MRS Oil Nigeria Plc service stations in Nigeria.

She is an ordained minister with The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM): and at various times has held the following positions: Assistant Secretary, Young Women Fellowship; Assistant Secretary, Christian Women Fellowship and Chairman Disciplinary Committee of the Evangel Voices Choir and Team Lead with the Christian Women Fellowship. Deaconess Roseline Igbokwe is also a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

She is blessed with (5) five children.

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

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Pastor (Dr.) Joshua Gbadebo Opadiya is the Senior Pastor of Every Nation Church Sydney, Australia, a worldwide family of churches and ministries.

He is currently serving as the Hub Leader of the Oceania (Australia, New Zealand, Papa New Guinea and Fiji) overseeing the ‘Every Nation churches and ministries in the Oceania region.

Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya previously lectured in the Lagos State University, Nigeria for 6 years, before moving with his family to Innsbruck in Austria where he lived for almost 6 years. Thereafter, the family moved to Sydney Australia in 1999 where together with his wife, Dr. Mrs. Opadiya started the ‘Every Nation Church.

He received his bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the reputable University of Ibadan in Nigeria and holds a doctorate degree in Ecotoxicology from the Technical University, Innsbruck, Austria. Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya has a burden to raise godly leaders and see the nations return to Jesus Christ. He has travelled and ministered in several nations worldwide.

Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya's passion is to connect with young adults and adults alike who are leaders, peacemakers and bridge builders in their colleges, universities and in their communities. His life has been dedicated to this cause, reaching out, equipping, counseling and mentoring. He is also the dean of Every Nation Leadership Institute, a part-time program that is purposefully designed to provide discipleship training and biblical teaching for people from all walks of life. Pastor (Dr.) Opadiya and his wife have been married for 31 years. They are blessed with children. He is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Dr. (Mrs.) Yinka Opadiya is a senior pastor with Every Nation Churches and Ministries. Alongside her husband Pastor (Dr) Joshua Opadiya, she oversees the multi-congregational Church organization in Sydney, Australia – a church with members from diverse cultures, age groups and professions.

She is a teacher and motivational speaker with a passion for teaching about God's love and His purpose for humanity. She is also passionate about women and youth ministry; and is committed to mentoring women and young girls.

Her heart-cry is to see ‘the Church’ respond to the Great Commission of ‘making disciples’ and transforming nations. A graduate of the prestigious Universities of Ife and Ibadan in Nigeria, she also holds a Doctorate degree in French (Women Literature) from the University of Innsbruck in Austria. She had worked as a French Lecturer in the Lagos State University and in various schools in Sydney Australia. Dr. (Mrs.) Yinka Opadiya been married for 31 years. They are blessed with children. She is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Mrs. Ronke Osikoya holds a law degree (LLB) from the University of Lagos and an MBA (1988) from the same University.

She is a Certified Trainer for the Commonwealth Association on Corporate Governance and has facilitated on the Directors course on Corporate Governance.

She is a Management Consultant that co-runs a management consulting firm, Pedion Partnership Limited.

Her values are strongly shaped by her Christian faith and she believes very passionately in supporting the under-privileged, particularly children, which accounts for her involvement with the Foundation.

Mrs. Osikoya is a Trustee of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation and lives with her husband and 2 sons in Lagos, Nigeria. | 37 |

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Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe is a devout Christian who was ordained as a Deaconess of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) in the year 2000 and as an Assistant Pastor in August 2013. She served as a Coordinator in the Teens ministry of the Resurrection Parish of the RCCG in Lagos where her passion for supporting the education of the less privileged was birthed .

She is a Chartered Accountant and Chartered Banker and is a Fellow of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) and a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Bankers of Nigeria.

Mrs. Bimbo Komolafe has taken various management, Leadership and professional courses, within and outside Nigeria and is an Alumna of the Lagos Business School. She worked for 9 years in a reputable Merchant Bank in Nigeria and thereafter worked for 20 years with one of the leading Oil and Gas companies in Nigeria. She currently works as a Principal Consultant for Threshold of Trust Nigeria Limited.

Married to Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd) who is also an Ordained Pastor of the RCCG Nigeria, they are blessed with 3 children. Together with her husband, they are committed to providing financial support to as many less privileged students as they can accommodate. Mrs Bimbo Komolafe is the founder and Executive Secretary of the Rehoboth Dream Solid Foundation.

Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd), is a highly revered and distinguished military officer who served meritoriously with impeccable records in the Nigerian Navy. He graduated from the Nigerian Defence Academy in 1980 and was commissioned as a Naval Officer a year after. Due to his quest for knowledge and passion for competence, he proceeded to study at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka where he graduated in 1985 with a B.Sc. Degree in Accountancy. He attended several courses nationally and overseas and witnessed consistent career growth during his active years in the military.

Rear Admiral Komolafe is a change agent with a commitment to providing transformational leadership and ensuring realignment of processes, operations, resource and people on various integrated fronts for optimum value creation. He held various sensitive positions in the Navy before his voluntarily retirement from the Service after 35 years of meritorious service. He presently sits on the Board of many prestigious organizations. Beyond his Military career, Rear Admiral Kehinde Komolafe (Rtd.) is a lover of God and a Pastor. He is married to Mrs. Abimbola Komolafe and they are blessed with 3 children.

Charity to the less priviledged

Skills Acquisition programmes

THINKING ALOUD | JAN - MAR 2021

Raise funds for the needy

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Supporting the poor

We appreciate every support over the years and your continued support and commitment that has made it possible for us to continue to provide succor to the less privileged in our society. We pray that God will bless you and grant you success in all your endeavors.

Donations: You can make your donations online at: https://www.rehobothdreamsolidfoundation.org/donations

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