Joy in the Storm CHRISTINE BAKER MARRIAGE

A few summers ago, I found myself sitting in the middle of my daughter’s sparsely furnished new apartment... in Florida... during a Hurricane. She had just moved to the area six days prior for a new job over 1300 miles away from her hometown. It was a huge move for her and equally as huge for me, her stepdad, and siblings to watch her wings take shape, let alone take shape and take flight in a tropical storm.

I have never been in that type of storm before. I know nothing of its drama, its power, or its uncertainty. I would take a few snow days with 27 inches of snow any day over that kind of turbulence. Wind has always created great anxiety for me, and this storm was no different.

As the day progressed, the wind and rain increased aggressively, and we were not sure what to do or how to manage this emergent weather. I followed my daughter’s lead by playing it by ear, but I also secretly created an exit strategy behind the scenes.

Her first day of work in her new office was supposed to be that day. Instead, she worked through her orientation materials on a makeshift desk made up of her couch and her outside patio table. Her first meetings were canceled because the sound of the wind and rain were so loud no one could hear each other over video chat.

This was not what she expected to be the start of her new career, but she willingly designed her day to make the best of it. She was happy, excited, and intentionally filled with joy. It was a prideful moment for both of us.

I, however, was a bit more anxious than she was. Did I feel anxious because I have never been in a hurricane? YOU BET. Did my anxiety rise because the next day I would have to get on a plane and leave my daughter 1,309 miles behind? Absolutely!

But, I was also feeling immense joy. Not just because of the pride I had swelling up but because I too intentionally designed my day to create opportunities for joyful moments, even anticipating the stressors sprinkled throughout the day.

• I took extra time in the shower.

• I slept in.

• I enjoyed a really good cup of coffee.

• I sat outside before the storm so I could breathe in the stillness.

• I took a walk and took pictures of things I wanted to remember about the day.

• I made sure to write. It seemed like a pivotal time to capture my thoughts.

• I watched lizards play with one another.

• I said “hi” to strangers and gave them the biggest smile I could muster. To my delight, they returned the gesture.

• I made a favorite recipe for dinner to celebrate the first day of work, albeit at home and in pajama pants.

I also had the opportunity to:

• Do my laundry

• Do the dishes

• Mop the floors

• Sweep the kitchen

• Sort the garbage

• Pay some bills

The last set of accomplishments were not as pleasurable as my first list but equally as joy filled. All these less exciting and less indulgent tasks were opportunities to create balance in my life. Cleaning up is an opportunity to reset the physical environment to a tidy and organized one. Doing my laundry was an opportunity to prepare for my trip the following day. Paying my bills was an opportunity to maintain certain home amenities that we value.

Between the hurricane and the other situational angst, I could have let the day take over and overwhelm me, but anxiety and fear weren’t the feeling I wanted for this particular day.

Joy was.

Why is it important to design a Joy-filled life?

The general consensus of our current society is that life should be filled with happiness and excitement, chock full of adventure and experiences. The things we see on social media confirm this. It’s very much focused on the glow, the capabilities, the experiences and just how “perfectly happy” the subject of the social media posts are, which isn’t reality.

When our lives do not mirror social media posts, many of us feel inadequate, unworthy, and not fill-in-the-blank enough.

As a critical thinking adult, you know logically that this is bullshit. This short-sighted life is not accurate, sustainable, or even possible. Life is hard. It is really hard. We learn the value of life through the hardships that we bear.

That doesn’t mean that hardships negate joy. Quite the opposite. Hardships enhance joy, and joy softens hardships. Each of us has the power to experience joy even into our darkest moments. We all have opportunities to foster joy and the capability to design a joy-filled life.

Experiencing, cultivating, and designing joy is important for various reasons, as it has profound physical, emotional, and psychological benefits that contribute to overall well-being and a fulfilling life. Here’s why these aspects of joy are significant:

Positive Emotional Impact: Experiencing joy enhances your mood and emotional state. Positive emotions like joy can counteract feelings of stress, anxiety, and sadness. Regularly experiencing joy helps create a positive emotional baseline, making it easier to cope with life’s challenges.

Physical Health: Joy triggers the release of endorphins, which are natural chemicals that promote feelings of pleasure and reduce stress. These endorphins can boost your immune system, lower blood pressure, and contribute to better cardiovascular health.

Stress Reduction: Engaging in joyful activities or moments can function as a stress reliever. When you’re joyful, your body’s stress response is diminished, leading to a sense of relaxation and ease.

Enhanced Relationships: Sharing joyful experiences with others can strengthen social bonds. Joy is contagious, and when you’re joyful, you’re more likely to connect with and attract positive people, leading to deeper and more fulfilling relationships.

Resilience: Cultivating joy can enhance your resilience in the face of adversity. When you’ve practiced finding joy in various aspects of life, you’re better equipped to bounce back from setbacks and maintain a hopeful outlook.

Creativity and Productivity: Joy can enhance your cognitive abilities, including creativity and problem solving skills. When you’re joyful, your brain is more receptive to new ideas and alternative perspectives, leading to increased innovation and productivity.

Mindfulness and Present Moment Awareness: Experiencing joy often involves being fully present in the moment. Cultivating mindfulness through joyful experiences can help you appreciate the here and now, fostering a greater sense of contentment.

Personal Growth: Pursuing and experiencing joy often involves stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things. This can lead to personal growth, increased self-confidence, and a broader perspective on life.

Life Satisfaction: People who actively seek out and savor joyful experiences tend to report higher levels of life satisfaction. The ability to find joy in everyday moments contributes to an overall sense of fulfillment.

Psychological Well-being: Joy contributes to positive psychological states such as happiness, gratitude, and optimism. Engaging in activities that bring you joy can lead to a greater sense of purpose and a more positive outlook on life.

Actively designing environments, routines, and experiences that foster joy allows you to take control of your happiness. By intentionally incorporating joyful elements into your life, you create opportunities for sustained well-being, even in a hurricane, as you say goodbye to your child.

In essence, experiencing, cultivating, and designing joy is a multifaceted approach to living a more fulfilling and meaningful life. By making joy a priority, you invest in your well-being and create a foundation for a happier, healthier, and more satisfying life journey. Hurricanes, cross country moves, and major life changes seem a bit more manageable when you can also savor and appreciate the intentional joyful moments.

Meet Christine Baker Marriage, a productivity blogger, and proud mother of five based in Western New York. With a passion for organization and time management, she shares valuable tips and strategies on maximizing productivity while juggling the demands of parenthood. Alongside her thriving career as an IT professional, she prioritizes her role as a supportive wife, embracing the challenges and joys of family life. Through her blog and social media platforms, she inspires others to find balance and efficiency in their daily routines, proving that with determination and organization, anything is possible.

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