worldwide New Books and Three Interviews

The Respect Paradox

By ROHIT BHARGAVA

If there is one hard and fast rule we all have likely heard at some point in our careers, it is that respect is not given, it is earned. We talk about respect as the holy grail of the business world. And if you don’t have it… you can learn it. The real problem with all of this comes in the one fundamental assumption that we all make – that respect is earned through professional ability. If you just DO something intelligent, profitable, or otherwise professionally positive – then the people around you will start to respect you. The problem is that the world doesn’t usually turn out to work this way. We have never respected people for their true ability. If we did, the smartest person in the room would always be the most respected as well. The most intelligent person would always win the election. The most skilled person would always get the job. But the fact is they often don’t. This is the Respect Paradox – and it means that earning true respect takes more than just being smart, having great ability or even delivering good results.

RESPECT IS OUTSIDE ABILITY

Scott DiGiammarino took over as the regional manager of a low performing office of American Express financial advisors. When he started, his region had been ranked 173rd out of 176 branches across the country. DiGiammarino moved quickly, firing more than half of his initial staff due to their low performance or negative attitudes. For the rest he worked to start to create a culture of making what he called “principle based decisions.” His biggest challenge in that moment was earning the respect of the team he had inherited which was still around. One year later his North Atlantic region had gone from 173rd to number one. The rest of the financial advisor community was stunned. It was the biggest single year turnaround any region had ever experienced, but DiGiammarino wasn’t finished. For 13 out of the next 15 years, he kept his region in that number one slot. One of his secrets was that every morning he would create an inspirational message to send out to his staff along with a video clip from a Hollywood film. Movies were his method to bring his lessons and philosophy to life and engage his staff. As he notes, “my team gave me best efforts professionally because they knew I cared about them personally.” Scott managed to command respect because he got to know his staff as real people and make a human connection. They loved him, and wanted to work harder and deliver better results because he inspired them.

The challenge of earning respect isn’t something you can earn just by being smart or doing good work. Of course, your intelligence and ability matter, but they won’t automatically lead to being respected. Instead, commanding true respect at any age requires the ability to connect with people on a personal level and make them believe in your expertise and the value you can share. The bottom line is, respect is far easier to earn when people already like you.•

Alexander Prischepov is a photographer living and working in Moscow, Russia. He considers photography to be art, because each picture is a story, and it is selfsufficient: it has its own emotion and mood. He does fashion, portraiture and architecture photography.

01 Tangoing, the same harmony needed for respect