The word changes magazine

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contents

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read in this issue....

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Aid for Baton Rouge

Remembering the great flood of August 12th and all of its victims.

06 Superstar of the Mid

A perfect example of what can happen when you decide to live your true life, Simone Biles motivates us with each step she takes.

Living Your True Life

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2016 was all about living the life you deserve, we reflect on all of the #LYTL2016 projects and review what was achieved!

The word changes transforming lives

a note from editor

Giving back is at the core of our values, we are always looking for special causes.

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Hey Everyone!

As I look back on 2016, I can’t help but be grateful and thankful! the word changes has accomplished things that I would have never imagined. When I started the word changes, a little over 2 years ago, all I knew was that I wanted to motivate and inspire people to a higher level. That was at the center of everything that I set out to do. Whether it was our morning motivational posts,

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WINTER MOISTURIZING HAIR MASK

Self-wellness is essential and so is protecting those precious strands. This super easy hair mask will keep your hair strong and shiny throughout the winter.

our motivational webinars, charitable endeavors and of course, this PREMIERE issue of the word changes magazine!

I have met so many amazing people that have helped me along the way whether it was donating their time or providing a recommendation each and every person played a part in helping me to accomplish my goals and I am truly honored for that support. With that said, I must thank the person who is truly responsible for all of my success so far. GOD. I know first hand what my life was like before I made the decision to honor GOD with my life and I can see the dramatic change for the BETTER since that decision. I have learned for myself that GOD is real. I am excited for the future of the word changes and hope that you will all continue to be a part

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of the evolution of the brand. Please reach out to us at thewordchanges@gmail.com and let us know what you would like to see from us in the future or you can just to drop us a note to say “hi.” We would love to hear from you!

Thanks for checking out the premiere issue of the word changes magazine. Wishing you a happy, healthy and VICTORIOUS new year

ASK THE RELATIONSHIP GURU We ask relationship expert, Ashleigh Maynor burning questions about family, relationships and career.

Antoinette Founder of the word changes The Fashion Brand That Motivates™

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Love and Peace,

On August 12, 2016 Baton Rouge, Louisiana suffered two feet flood waters that left 13 dead and damaged over 60,000 homes, leaving over 106,000 residents to seek emergency disaster assistance, said CNN reports. Though this tragic disaster happened several months ago, we at the word changes felt the importance of keeping the victims of the flood at the top of our minds and in our hearts.

Severe weather is nature’s sucker punch that has more chance of causing total devastation as it arrives in the lives of the unsuspecting. We can see it coming sometimes, but the magnitude of its power is always critical.

President Barack Obama visited Baton Rouge to survey the aftermath of the flood. He gave his condolences stating how heartbreaking it was to see so many people lose their livelihoods.

Baton Rouge has been dealt quite a blow this year. As upheaval between law enforcement and the community simmer down, the city has to fight to get back on its feet. The country, or maybe the world, can see their struggle and yearn to help.

An entity, rather a company, heard their cry. Apple announced that they were encouraging its customers and employees to donate to victims of the flood. According to Apple, all donations would be sent to the American Red Cross to assist southern Louisiana.

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But the help didn’t stop there. University of South Carolina collaborated with the city of Baton Rouge and the LSU community in order to bring food, water, clothing, and all other necessities to the people of Baton Rouge.

They reacted promptly. On August 16, 2016, University of South Carolina’s athletic department and the alumni association hosted a drive where fans and locals could donate to give relief to the people of Baton Rouge.

Aid for

BATON ROUGE “LSU was so gracious to assist us in our time of need,” USC President Harris Pastides told reporters. Like many others in Baton Rouge, the students and faculty of LSU were affected along with permanent residents. Imagine the inconvenience for students and first-year professors who, had to adjust to the flood conditions during their return to school.

Nonprofits, universities, and all concerned individuals are invested

in the recovery of the people of Baton Rouge. It was even reported that Donald Trump promised Greenwell Springs Baptist Church a check for $100,000 as well as a donation of supplies to Louisiana, his campaign spokesperson told The Washington Post.

Neighboring cities such as New Orleans collected donations for victims as well. Even sports teams like the New Orleans Saints got involved. It was reported by New

The last few months have been more about how to help one another rather than how angry some were about various unnerving events.

In times such as these, politics and personal bias are better left on the shelf. And those that donated their time and money definitely did that. The overflow of help really shows the caring spirit of people. Despite calamity, the needy cry out and the charitable hands of those who give in gladness respond with a multitude of aid. And with winter approaching, Baton Rouge and all their neighboring cities were on deck to help.

Several months have passed since the flood and it’s no longer a news headline but we wanted to raise awareness of the needs of those affected.

If you want to help the people of Baton Rouge, contact the American Red Cross of Baton Rouge by phone at (225) 291-4533.

Send supplies or any other helpful items to their address, which is located at 4655 Sherwood Common Boulevard, Baton Rouge, LA 70816.

For more blogs like this, be sure to check out The Word Changes Blog Archive

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Orleans news outlets that the NFL team would give season tickets to first responders and volunteers of the August 12th flood.

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SUPERSTAR OF THE MID-WEST

SIMONE BILES

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ailing from the mid-west with her big smile, graceful acrobatics, and humble spirit, comes Simone Biles—a truly wondrous gymnast who’s carried the mantle of

victory since 2010 making her one of America’s prolific gymnasts. And through the entire month of August, she continued that streak at the 2016 Summer Olympics by winning four gold medals and one bronze medal.

Critics say that she is one of the most decorated United States gymnasts to ever compete in the Olympic games.

Before Simone Biles was a top gymnast, she was born in Columbus, Ohio on March 14, 1997. Along with her sister, Adria, her grandparents, Ron and Nellie, raised Simone. Biography.com, a website telling Simone’s story, says that Simone and Adria were adopted by their grandparents after their birth mother struggled with substance abuse.

Shanon Biles, Simone’s biological mother, gave up her daughters for adoption in the midst of her fight with drugs and alcoholism. Ron could not bear the sight of his granddaughters in foster care and stepped in to adopt the girls in 2001. Simone and Adria would later move to Texas where they currently reside.

Simone acknowledges Ron and Nellie as her parents. However, some media reporters have not.

But the quiet man along with his wife, as described by USA Today, maintains his peace and continues to support both Simone and Adria. Ron Biles went on to say that he encourages American society to adopt.

In an interview with USA Today Ron said: “It gives you the opportunity to enrich the life of yourself and the child, and enrich everyone who is involved in your life. Raising kids is just a wonderful thing. You get to see them grow and [you] can be a part of that, and I can’t think of anything more satisfying.

It is an important issue, and I could only say good things about it.”

“I went to Bannon’s on a day care field trip,” Simone told USA Gymnastics.

“While there, I imitated the other gymnasts, and Coach Ronnie noticed.

The gym sent home a letter requesting that I join tumbling or gymnastics.”

Thus, the all-star was born.

Photo: Michael Starghill Jr

In 2010, Simone won first place in the Floor Exercise at the Women’s Junior Olympic Level 10 National Championship in Dallas, Texas. In addition, she won third place in Vault in the same division.

She kept her winnings consistent and went on to win several national championships.

According to Biography.com, a website dedicated to the biographical sketch of prolific public figures, she became the most balanced gymnast and proved that in the 2013 P&G Championships by becoming the first African American woman to become an “all-around winner”.

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Despite the hardship, Simone’s parents continued on raising her and her sister as their own. For Simone, she found her inspiration in gymnastics. At an early age, Simone attended a field trip where she witnessed the acrobatics of gymnasts.

Impressed by their athleticism, Simone mimicked their movement.

Photo: nbcolympics.com

By 2015, Simone had won her third consecutive title totaling a record of 10 gold medals at International Competitions, said Biography.com officials. Simone’s ascension continued as she trained. But to earn a spot in the 2016 Rio Olympics, she used her smile and fighting gymnast spirit to earn her slot into the competition.

Starting in 2016, Simone competed in two national competitions. She placed first AA (All Around) in the 2016 P&G Championships, which took place in St. Louis, Missouri. She would later travel to San Jose, California where she would win first AA in the U.S., Olympic Team Trials.

Then we come to the 2016 Rio Olympics. The four-foot-eight superstar entered the Olympics wielding her bright smile and blazing confidence.

Using the support and inspiration from her grandparents, who she refers to as Mom and Dad, she competed in each event stunning the judges and dominating the competition.

Simone Biles’ story is, perhaps, one of the most inspirational stories of the Olympics. Not only is she a master at what she does, she smiles in the face of adversity. The opinions from social media and mainstream media didn’t affect her performance or triumphant smile. She remained consistent and brought home five medals from one of the most competitive championships in history. We at The Word Changes highlight her efforts as someone who has hurtled over obstacles and is a shining example of what can happen when you begin Living Your True Life.

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Behind the Olympic medalist is a young African American woman whose favorite hobbies are shopping and hanging out with friends. When she’s not watching Pretty Little Liars, her favorite show, she enjoys the taste of Italian food on her palette. Simone is, by far, a typical teenager, with an extraordinary gift that will someday become legendary.

For more stories like these, check out The Word Changes blog archive.

Follow Simone Biles on  www.twitter.com/simone_biles  www.instagram.com/simonebiles

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2016 THE YEAR the word changes | 10

OF LIVING YOUR TRUE LIFE

For 2016 the word changes created the theme ‘Living Your True Life 2016’ which we focused on throughout the year.

We sought to motivate and encourage people to live the life that they were destined to live. No more life on the hamster wheel. We began in January using hashtags #livingyourtruelife2016 #LYTL2016 on social media. We shared informational articles on how to make the leap to becoming an entrepreneur and starting your own business. We began discussions on topics like managing work and home life, when it’s time to leave your job and what you need to do before you look for another position.

Living Your True Life is not just about changing your own life; it’s also about stepping up and making a difference in the lives of others. By helping others you will find personal clarity for achieving your goals, aspirations and dreams. The word changes donates 2/3 of profits to encourage a higher education and fight child hunger, by helping others you begin to live your truest life. We also encourage giving back by volunteering your time as we did with different organizations like Boston Cares. Many times people want to help but don’t know where to begin. In April, we began Transformation Tuesdays sharing original stories about people that were faced with difficult situations and found a way through. By reading about someone’s personal struggle hopefully it would give you the courage to make a change in your life.

In June, we organized our first webinar and installation of Living A Successful Life. We had Ashleigh Maynor as a guest speaker (founder of inTENtional U). We discussed the ‘5 Rules for Making Your Relationship Work with Your Career Goals’. It was a huge success and we can’t wait to

bring Ashleigh back for another topic.

In July we launched the first item of jewelry in our product line, a necklace with the word COURAGE. It represented having courage to make changes in your life, it’s not easy to leave your comfort zone and by wearing the necklace you are reminded of your strength as you look in the mirror. We introduced our second installment of Living Your True Life Webinar series with Natascha F. Saunders founder of The Youth Career Coach Inc. The discussion was on “Your Personal Brand: How to Put Your Best Brand Forward”. We loved that Natascha shared her personal struggles and professional insights.

During September the word changes helped the community by donating 100 backpacks stuffed with supplies for 2nd graders. In October we partnered with Kafeeo who wrote, produced and performed our “One Word” song. This song is now available on iTunes and Amazon.

It has been a busy year for the word changes and the Living Your True Life theme has brought inspiration to many people. We hope that it has inspired you in someway to take the chance and begin living the life you deserve.

Look out for the announcement of our 2017 theme and we hope we will be as motivating as 2016.

Have you been following #livingyourtruelife2016 #lytl2016 hashtag, which articles stood out the most to you, reach out and let us know. We’d love to hear from you. @thewordchanges

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We understand women are faced with unique issues so we provided information on grants and loans specially targeting women entrepreneurs. We began Motivational Mondays posts that helped bring focus for the upcoming week. If your true passion was traveling, we provided instructional articles that can help you make the leap. We believe life is bigger than a job, do what makes you happy and be successful at it. In February we launched the Living Your True Life 2016 T-Shirt, they are colorful shirts, which encourage people to follow their dreams. The word changes uses words to motivate through fashion.

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THE WORD CHANGES TRANSFORMING LIVES

Here are just some of the efforts of the word changes: • 100 Backpacks filled with supplies for inner city 2nd graders • Greater Boston Food Bank Donation and Food Drive • Feeding America Donation • Save the Children Donation • UMASS Student Fundraising Donation • Presenting Free Educational Webinars

At the word changes we have a common goal of bettering peoples lives.

We try to do this by motivating and inspiring positive change. We bring you compelling stories of how people around the world have worked to transform their own lives. We hope that these stories can give inspiration to someone experiencing a similar problem. In 2016 the brand continued with the passion of helping and empowering others to Live Their True Lives. We worked to transform lives by donating to charities, schools, and fund-raisers that promote the wellbeing of others. Mainly our donations are focused on fighting child hunger and encouraging higher education in the U.S. as we see these as major issues facing our country.

We understand that transforming lives happens in many different methods and therefore collaborate with different organizations and individuals to bring about change. Feel free to contact us with information regarding an initiative to transform lives at thewordchanges@ gmail.com.

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The Word Changes offers webinars that allow for an interactive discussion where you can ask Thought Leaders serious questions about Family, Relationships or Career and recieve personalized advice.

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THE WORD CHANGES LIVING A SUCCESSFUL LIFE WEBINAR SERIES

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WATCH MORE

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Our first single!

One Word

The Word Changes & Kafeeno

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Also Available at

courage necklace

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pure elegance with our

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We are looking for contributors!

If you have an inspiring, motivating story that you want to share with our readers please contact us. We are looking for submissions for our upcoming issues.

Also we will be starting a Youth Corner in an upcoming issue! If you know someone between the ages of 8 and 20 who has a talent for art, poetry, creative writing or some other gift or talent and they are interested in sharing it with our readers please have them send in a submission to thewordchanges@gmail. com and we will consider it for one of our upcoming issues.

VISIT OUR WEBSITE

The Courage to Be You Having the courage to stand up for your beliefs is a proud accomplishment. Don’t be quieted by the status quo, make your voice heard and your intentions felt. This powerful COURAGE shirt is great on strong men and women. The message can’t be missed with this statement shirt.

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ONE WORD

FASHION

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BOLD MESSAGE BOLD COLORS

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WITH

These vibrant shirts speak to the creative artistic side of you.

Proclaim to the world your love of music or that you are a masterpiece in the making.

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COURAGE NECKLACE

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Wearing a COURAGE necklace reminds you of your confidence throughout the day. It’s a bold statement piece that is reflective of your current mindset. The 14 Karat Gold design dresses up any casual outfit.

Get Edgy Bring out the sassiness by wearing your COURAGE necklace as a choker!

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Super Chill! Rock your favorite accessories to make any oneWORD shirt your own, a funky hat or cool shades make the look more stylish!

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Let’s Get Serious oneWORD Shirts have serious messages that need to be heard.

Success All Day!

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These dramatic colors are great during the Fall and Winter, keeping you looking put-together for class or your Starbucks run.

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The Power of HOPE

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What you wear speaks volumes, make sure your giving them something to talk about. oneWORD shirts are a great way to express yourself and show the world you’re ready!

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2016 was all about LIVING YOUR TRUE LIFE and finding COURAGE to overcome your fears.

2017 is another year to do it again!

This one of kind COURAGE satchel adds polish to slouchy sweaters and slinky dresses with its structured style.

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SUCCESS

with STYLE

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k rd to per a c ’ e s u a ust Bec Send a ‘J day! ’s someone

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BEAUTY STYLE & SECTION

Step 1: In the shower use Pureology hydration shampoo and condition! (It’s expensive but worth it! Your hair is so important so you want to use good products that are sulfate free).

Step 2: Once out of the shower you brush your hair when it’s completely wet.

That is the only time you brush it! If you brush it dry it will break the curls.

Step 3: After completely detangling my hair I put in biosilk serum. (About a quarter size, and I put it in the bottom of my hair and throughout the midway of my hair).

Step 4: Mousse! Then I put in mouse (tresemme extra volume works great and is inexpensive!) I use as much as necessary to get the curl I love! You keep it in the palm of your hand and scrunch your hair from the bottom of the curl to the root.

Step 5: From there I use gel (Garnier fruitis-but anything with a stronghold and light feeling on the hair should work great!) and I use about quarter size amount and flip my hair over so my head is facing the ground and I scrunch from the bottom of the hair to root again.

Note: Cat is always on the hunt for better products so she promised to let us know if she finds anything! Right now she is looking for a good leave in conditioner but she says ISO is the best by far!

There you have it! Cat’s hair secrets.

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You asked and we delivered! Cat, our cover woman, shares her hair secrets!

Winter is always hard on your hair, between wool hats and harsh winds; your hair may become dry and brittle.

To protect, moisturize and add shine to your strands this winter use this hair mask recipe once a week. This super easy DIY Hair Mask is perfect for all textures of hair including fine, curly or kinky. When you look good, you feel good so try this mask for a quick pick me up!

Winter Moisturizing

Hair Mask

Ingredients:

Preparation:

• • • • • • •

1. Melt coconut oil in microwave for 20~30 seconds- not too long just enough to liquefy it.

1 TSP Honey 1 Large Egg (optional) 2 TSP Coconut Oil 2 TSP Olive Oil Mixing Bowl Tablespoon Fork

2. Pour the coconut oil into a bowl; add honey, olive oil and egg yolk (optional- if you need protein treatment) and mix. Work into a creamy frothy mix.

Application:

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1. Apply the mask to wet hair, concentrating on the ends, where your hair is most dry. Wrap your hair up in a bun, cover with shower cap and place a warm wet towel over it.

2. After the mask sits for 45 minutes, then rinse in the shower and follow with your normal shampoo and favorite conditioner. When your hair dries, you’ll see instant shine. Apply the mask once a week and your hair will be softer, shinier, and will look healthier over time. Enjoy! 

Floral for Winter?

Groundbreaking!

Keep your floral ensembles through gloomy days to brighten up your mood until the rise in temperature.

Don’t put away your spring sets just yet. Miss Palermo showed us that you could rock head-to-toe floral in any season. Winterize your culottes with a pair of tall boots, the red ones wouldn’t be my first choice, but the more I look at it, the more I love it - they give an interesting twist to this chic outfit. Put a structured coat on, and you’re ready to go!

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Elevate your everyday style with playful accessories- Spice up an all black outfit with chic ankle booties in floral or replace a basic black handbag with flower appliqued one.

Floral printed coat will definitely bring the dash of spring to your dark ensembles.

But, who said that you can’t play with prints and colors during the cold weather?

Think outside the box, and mix large flowers with a striped sweater or brighten up your day with bold colored trousers and have fun!

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Jeans with embroidery are a perfect alternative to your summer floral pants. Go for low key pieces to pair them with, such as a simple black turtleneck and black booties which will accentuate your beautiful bottoms. This super trendy shearling coat matches perfectly with embroidery jeans, but the classic black coat will do the work too.

Stylist: Dusica www.shica-du.polyvore.com

Get Your Shine On! Elevate your everyday style with shiny metallic pieces from outerwear to accessories or footwear and keep that holiday spirit all season long.

You can choose from a variety of colors- from classic gold and silver to pastel pink and blue, whatever you pick, it will give your outfit a glamorous vibe.

So, unleash your inner diva and shine on!

Bring a little magic with every step you take in this fabulous shinny footwear.

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Love this trend so much, that you just can’t settle down with one piece? Go for silver detailing in your monochromatic outfit! Clean cut coat and futuristic handbag in silver will give you an interesting twist to this black and white look. And those star printed bootiespure love!

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Replace your basic leather pants with gold ones, pair them with white sneakers and a masculine coat. For a finishing touch add an oversized scarf and you will achieve that effortlessly chic look. White is always a good match with gold items- classic button down shirt or chunky knit sweater will complement gold bottoms perfectly.�

Give your jumper collection a stylish update with a metallic shine this season. I am in love with this feminine pink one, and already wore it numerous times in my head – with classic jeans, tweed skirts and even biker leather trousers.

Stylist: Dusica www.shica-du.polyvore.com

THE WORD CHANGES COMMUNITY community)

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(submissions from our

Acceptance and growth, reflections of self.

Butterflies in my stomach, Wisdom is wealth.

Attain knowledge for a greater self.

Ask yourself what is your why?

ARE WE NOT HUMAN FIRST?

Create what you desire, Reiterate what inspires Are you here to hear?

The world is changing Can’t recognize faces Culture shock Diversify, Accept each other Religion, color, race, gender, orientation.

Categorize.

Which one applies?

Are we not human first?

Kindness does not cost a thing.

Jealousy, envy, pride, no shame.

Material wealth for what ultimate gain?

Wars that see no end.

What about the innocent?

Do their lives hold no value?

Knowledge is wealth, acceptance not denial.

Raise awareness for a better tomorrow.

Be part of the change, let’s make a difference! It is our responsibility, don’t assume somebody else will do it.

Each person counts!

Speak up for rights, Value free speech, Individuality, Spirituality, Our right to be!

For some, these rights simply do not exist.

Fight for those who cannot be heard. We are the voice for the hungry, the dying, the displaced, the injustice, and the cruelty of animals and humans.

By Prabhjot Sumra



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@stayblessedandremainhumble

Are we not human first?

Peace be with us.

I choose to be a Human first in a changing world.

May my Hope be heard.

E H T ASK P I H S N O I T A REL U R U G First let me start by saying that you’re not alone for feeling this way. The holidays can bring added stress and anxiety to many people’s lives due to the interactions that many encounter with their relatives. If you do decide to attend the first thing I would encourage you to do before seeing your relatives is to take some time to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself to step into that environment. You’ve obviously experienced some conflict with these family members in the past, so you know what you may be walking into. In the days leading up to the gathering really think about why those past interactions were so troublesome for you. Reflect on how or why that situation escalated and what you could have done differently to diffuse things. Ultimately, what you want to do is decide how you want to react or respond if your family members do decide to bring up your lifestyle. Remember that they have no control over how you live your life, you do. They have no control over you. I’ll say this - you will gain inner peace when you decide to not allow other people or circumstances to control your emotions. If they have something to say to you, then you can express that you’re lifestyle is not up for discussion today. If you decide you’d like to speak with them at a later date and time to clear the air or hash things out, then let them know ahead of time. The place and time for you to have that discussion with them will not be at the family gathering. Make it clear that you’re not interested in discussing your lifestyle, you’re not interested in conflict or getting upset, and you will remove yourself from any toxic talk that impedes upon your health.

You don’t have to engage in a conversation if you do not want to. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide if you want to attend or not. However, if you do, get your mind right, pray, meditate, practice what you’ll say to them as a means of stabilizing your emotions and choosing how you’ll behave if you’re family chooses to voice their opinions about your lifestyle.

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The holidays are coming up and I am a little anxious about seeing some of my relatives. We’ve had issues in the past that resulted in major blowups. They are always making comments about how I live my life; I’m constantly defending myself.

How should I handle seeing them again or should I just not attend this year?

I have a degree in business and have been working at Fortune 500 Company for the past 7 years. I have a relatively good position but lately I have not felt fulfilled.

I have an idea for a business but my partner and family are telling me not to give up a good thing. I want to pursue my business venture full time but I am afraid of failing. How should I begin to pursue my business without becoming a burden to my family or going into major debt?

I’m sure you’ve heard about all the great millionaires and billionaires who are the ones who took the risk and quit their jobs to open a successful business. While those are amazing stories, I am positive that there are thousands more of people who didn’t have such success. Starting any business is going to be hard and, research shows that the first few years are extremely challenging. I’m not telling you these things to discourage you; I just want to clearly lie out the realities of a start-up business. That said, if this is something that you’re truly passionate about, then I want you to consider a few things.

Realize that an idea is just that, an idea. Ideas don’t make money. So, before you go and take the leap think about these things and ask yourself if you are really prepared for this life. Then talk with your partner and discuss the same questions.

1.

2.

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3.

Will your idea make money and do you have proof of that?

What’s your business plan and is your idea sustainable and viable enough to convince others to invest in your business? Find a business mentor if you haven’t already - www.score.com is a great resource to help small businesses launch.

Are you OK with giving up your life, as you know it? The hardest thing I’ve seen friends and fellow entrepreneurs struggle with after quitting their job is being consistent and dedicating as much time to their business venture as they would have spent in the office working for someone else. Are you disciplined enough to dedicate the 40 hrs. per week? Now add around 20 to 30 more hours to that - do you still believe you’re disciplined enough? If so, then realize that there won’t be as much time outside of building your business to have a more active social life. This is where you need to find balance. Although they may be few and far between, you need to learn when to take breaks, when to step away and have fun and enjoy your family, and when to take time to yourself. Your life will change and you and your family need to be prepared for that change in your lives.

Do you have savings? Will you have a means of income that will pay your bills and put food on the table? Many entrepreneurs will use their savings and credit cards to build their business. That’s why I say it’s important to have more than an idea and a good business plan so that investors are able to help you out on cash for the business. They will also use those same savings and credit cards to support them and their family. There may be some months that are a little tight. You and your partner should discuss what your budget would need to be if you do decide to leave your job.

I would also encourage you to possibly look at finding a position that you find more fulfilling in the interim that could supply you financial stability until you and your partner are ready to make the leap to launch your business and pursue it full-time.

I’m in my early 30’s. I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past 3 years, last year we decided to move in together. Everything has been going well, I love his family and friends. But when I bring up marriage, he always brushes me off. He says now he has to focus on paying down debt and is working towards a promotion. I want to be supportive but I don’t know how long I should wait without a serious commitment.

My biggest concern would be that he brushes you off about even talking about marriage. A man who is committed to a woman and sees her as a part of his future wouldn’t brush off that discussion. It is fine that there are still some things that he wants to work on and complete before entering into a marriage.

That’s a good thing! However, if he is unable to say what his timeline is and when he plans on achieving these things, then you may want to seriously think about your next steps with him. Even then, having a healthy discussion about your relationship and the future of it, doesn’t exactly give you what you’re looking for - the commitment. You can still be supportive of his personal, professional and financial growth without feeling like you have to walk on a tightrope when it comes to talking about a committed future. Zig Ziglar has several books on achieving your goals and the seven best steps to do so. One of his 7 steps to setting actionable goals is setting a deadline. I think that after 3 years of being with someone, you should have a relationship destination in sight. If you’re dating with a purpose than the end goal is marriage. Having a discussion about a deadline does not mean that you’re giving him an ultimatum. A deadline simply means that just as he has an idea of when he’d like to be in a new position, he knows when he plans to have most of his debt paid off, and you are asking that both of you agree to a general time-frame of when you’d like to be married. At some point you have to stop talking about it and be about it. I can’t tell you how long to wait, because only you know how long you’re willing to put something you really want in your life on hold while your boyfriend pursues his goals. However, after 3 years you should know where he stands on wanting to be married and he should have expressed when he sees himself taking the steps to change your last name. You need to have a conversation with him to figure out when he sees a marriage happening. It may be helpful if you reassured him that planning to get married wouldn’t be as stressful as he thinks and won’t get in the way of his financial goals and being upwardly mobile in his career. It’s important that the lines of communication are open and that you’re both on the same page.

Ashleigh Maynor,

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inTENtionalU

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Founder of InTENtional U

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