The Point Monthly (April/May 2016)

ISSUE 9 | APRIL & MAY 2016 EDITION

THE WOODLANDS UMC

MONTHLY THIS MONTH’S

NEWS: 2 PRE-MARITAL PREPARATION

Foundations course prepares couples for a strong start after saying “I do.”

BUILDING STRONG MARRIAGES ​ ARRIAGE M WAS GOD’S IDEA

Several care and counseling options are available following separation and divorce.

• Foundations For Marriage is a comprehensive curriculum and helps engaged couples thoroughly prepare for marriage.

• re|engage is designed for couples who are already married but want to grow healthier and stronger in their relationships.

In the book of Genesis we find the origin of marriage and family. After God created Adam, the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” (Gen 2:18) And so God created Eve.

• A wide range of counseling services is offered through our own Grace Point Counseling Center and Caring Ministry for those who seek restoration and hope following separation and divorce.

The very first marriage ceremony, we might say, was held in a garden. And God officiated.

Marriage was God’s idea. And that relationship serves as the foundation for the home.

You will also find our special feature on our celebration for couples who have been married 50+ years. It’s fantastic.

For two people to become one is never easy or without bumps. But especially these days, the institution of marriage is under stress — both because of schedules and because of secular culture.

HELP, 3 FINDING RENEWING HOPE

I hope you will be encouraged and inspired by the marriage stories included here; I know I am.

They are evidence of God working in the lives of people who pledged to love and honor each other, and to do so with Christ at the center of their relationships.

I’ve always believed that the church should not only “conduct weddings” but also help strengthen marriages.

Your Pastor,

In this issue of The Point Monthly you will read about our ministry programs to support couples throughout their marriage journeys:

Ed Robb

4 CELEBRATING 50+ YEARS

Student Ministries celebrates seniors with a vow-renewal celebration.

6 RE|ENGAGE A new marriage program is taking root as an effective way of strengthening marriages.

NEWS 10 CHURCH Births, Deaths, New Members, Foundation Gifts

12 UPCOMING EVENTS CALENDAR

FOUNDATIONS FOR MARRIAGE GIVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP THE BEST CHANCE

By Nathan Nix

CLIFF RITTER PASTOR OF CARING MINISTRY

Every year, numerous couples — both members and non-members — choose The Woodlands UMC as their wedding venue. Many are drawn to the elegant intimacy of the Robb Chapel, while others seek the grand, traditional feel of our Main Sanctuary.

But our church wants to offer more than just rental space to these couples.

Because we take marriage seriously, we want to do everything we can to support these new relationships, which includes making sure they’re starting their life together equipped with the best tools to navigate their future as one.

Foundations for Marriage serves as an introduction to married life, much like an introductory class in college might approach any given subject. As an added benefit, the Foundations seminar is part of an ongoing premarital program encouraged by the State of Texas, which was created to help couples be more intentional and successful in marriage.

“It describes what marriage is and what marriage is about — God’s design for marriage and how it’s a covenant relationship,” says Susan Jones, Executive Director of Grace Point Counseling Center, who helps teach the class along with Cliff Ritter, The Woodlands UMC’s Pastor of Caring Ministry.

While Cliff leads the all-day class, Susan teaches segments on communicating as 2

SUSAN JONES EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR GRACE POINT COUNSELING CENTER

a couple and conflict resolution. Susan says the church requires couples take Foundations for Marriage because data has shown that premarital classes help reduce the divorce rate significantly. “ We t a lk a b o ut h ow it ’s n ot ju s t a contract with marriage — it’s a covenant relationship,” Susan says. “That really helps couples view it differently. It’s easier to break a contract than a covenant relationship.”

In addition to emphasizing the spiritual bond a marriage represents, the Foundations leaders teach on practical matters with which many couples struggle, such as their finances — especially credit card debt.

“The biggest hit on credit cards is eating out,” Susan says. “We show them a budget, if they haven’t already started, because money is one of the primary issues that break a marriage — arguing over finances or spending money outlandishly. That becomes a big eyeopener for them.”

Cliff and Susan use a DVD curriculum from Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott called Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.

The seven video segments are lively, practical and experiential as Cliff and Susan guide the couples through exercises.

“It stimulates and gives guidance to conversation,” Susan says of the

materials. “Some couples are very quiet, so it helps give them something to look at and come back to. And we encourage that. We tell them to keep the material handy.”

Many couples participate in premarital counseling before their wedding, and while there is a bit of overlap between traditional versions of that and the Foundations class, Susan points out there is a difference and the latter makes for a natural predecessor to the former.

“Sometimes they want to explore something deeper in the relationship — some family issues they have, issues of abuse in the past or just conflict they really need to work on a little more deeply,” she says. “It gives them the opportunity to look at themselves more.

You put two people together, but you also have two individuals. And if there are some things that have happened in their lives that are going to impact the marriage more deeply than they expected, then it’s good for them to come and see a counselor.”

Susan actually encourages couples in Foundations and in general to not view marital counseling as something you do if you’re mentally ill or in dire straits, but to instead view it the same way they see going for a physical once a year — in other words, a marriage check-up.

“I used to do consulting, and hardly anyone would try to deal with something before it happens,” she says. “When a crisis would hit, they would bring in a management consultant. I’d encourage a couple to say, ‘Hey, some things are working well and some aren’t. Let’s go have a third party to talk to.’”

Last but not least, the Foundations leaders also encourage the couples to get involved in a church, whether at The Woodlands UMC or elsewhere.

“Sometimes a small group will help, like re|engage or a Sunday school class,” Susan says. “Common issues come up, and then couples go, ‘Oh, we’re not so alone with this.’ Everyone’s experiencing life together.” • Find out more about Foundations for Marriage at thewoodlandsumc.org/marriage

MARRIAGE SUPPORT AND DIVORCE RECOVERY If your marriage is barely hanging on or if you’ve already endured the pain of a divorce, The Woodlands UMC has support options designed specifically for you.

One-Day Marriage Intensive

In addition to traditional marital counseling, Grace Point Counseling Center offers a six-hour intensive to help couples who feel stuck, hopeless, or disconnected to transition toward greater marital connection and healing. The program serves as the catalyst for change. It should not be considered a cure, but it will help couples develop a renewed hope for positive growth. Each couple will be invited to complete a relationship evaluation prior to meeting with the counselor.

Find more information at gracepointcenter.com

DivorceCare and DivorceCare for Kids (DC4K)

This 13–week seminar and support group is for people who are separated or divorced. Unless you’ve been there, it’s hard to understand the hurt that comes from these experiences.

That’s why many of your friends and family don’t fully understand what you are going through and don’t know how best to help you. Through DivorceCare, you will learn how to deal with this pain.

DivorceCare for Kids (DC4K) coincides with the DivorceCare program and is for children ages 5 – 12. This special group helps children heal from the hurt caused by separation or divorce of their parents. Kids make friends with other children who understand both how they feel and the things they are going through. Best of all, children will learn how God’s love can strengthen them, turning the trauma of divorce into a renewed hope for the future.

Find more information at thewoodlandsumc.org/caring 3

HONORING 50 YEARS OF MARRIAGE RENEWING VOWS AFTER FIVE DECADES OF COMMITMENT

By Nathan Nix 4

When Richard Fulmer got out of the Navy in 1958, he returned to Amarillo, where his mother worked as a dental nurse alongside a young woman she was quite taken with and wanted her son to meet.

serve at the ceremony and interact with a group of people they don’t often come into contact with, given that the youth meet in The Loft while the Senior Ministry tends to stay in the Main Building.

Never mind that the young woman — Barbara, an assistant in the office — had already been seeing someone for four years. Richard’s mother’s intuition proved correct as sparks flew when the two finally met.

“I hope the takeaway is that our students can see…the idea of commitment and honor,” Michael says. “For our students to be able to see, physically — to be able to look up and witness — that there are people here in this building, here at this church, that have said something and followed through with it. And not just because they have to, but because they love it and want to.”

“Here come ol’ Richard, and boy I realized, ‘I’m on the wrong trail!’”

Barbara recalls now, nearly 58 years after they married in August of 1958.

Richard and Barbara are one of more than 35 couples involved in The Woodlands UMC’s Senior Ministry who have been married over 50 years.

On April 9, at least 25 of them will renew their vows in a ceremony put on by the church’s youth as part of Rebelbase Student Ministry’s FORGE weekend.

“The idea is to make it like a real wedding — decorations and all that fun stuff,” says Caitlin Dale, Rebelbase’s Senior High Ministry Assistant. “We’ll get a wedding cake and flowers for all the ladies to walk down with bouquets.

I think we’re going to do sparklers when they leave, a little walk-through tunnel, kind of like throwing rice.”

In addition, Rev. Rob Renfroe will speak and lead the couples through the vow renewal, and Louise Kramer will sing some songs, accompanied by the church organ.

“I think it’s great for these couples to relive their wedding day,” says Caitlin’s husband, Michael, Rebelbase’s Director of Senior High Ministry. “For them to be able to remember 50, 60 years ago — their wedding day, them dating, their courtship, all that kind of stuff — it’s really cool. My grandparents talk about that all the time. We want to give them an opportunity to have their own special night.”

Caitlin says the idea of a vow-renewal ceremony came about as the staff was brainstorming ways the youth could shine a spotlight on a person or group as part of the FORGE experience.

“We were trying to think of people who are not celebrated much,” she says.

“We want to make them feel awesome for a day. Senior citizens are kind of

BARBARA & RICHARD

FULMER

often overlooked, so we thought, ‘How can we celebrate them? What can we do?’”

While the initial idea was to honor the couple who had been married the longest, the Rebelbase staff soon decided to celebrate all the couples that had been married over 50 years.

With the help of Don Meador, Pastor of Senior Adults, and Vanessa Amelunke, Senior Adults Ministry Assistant, a list was drawn up of possible couples.

“When we originally met with Vanessa and Don, they were like, ‘We don’t think many will come,’” Michael says.

“But when I met with Vanessa and Don about two weeks ago, they said, ‘We’ve gotten so much response. They all want to do this!’”

This will be the first time the Fulmers have renewed their vows, and they’re looking forward to the experience.

“When you start having illnesses, I think it’s very important,” Barbara says “Saying your vows is a lovely ceremony to renew that ‘I’ll be there for you.’ I pray all the time, ‘Let me always be here for Richard.’”

“I appreciate that,” Richard, ever the jokester, says.

Barbara laughs, and it prompts them to share a key piece of marital advice they’d like to pass on to the youth who will be observing their vow renewal.

“Don’t take yourself too seriously,” Richard says.

“Life is good if you find humor,” Barbara says. “Even when one of us is mad.” It’s lessons like these the Rebelbase staff hope the youth will pick up on as they

Having just wrapped up a series on marriage in Crowded House — the youth Sunday morning gathering — and with divorce rates so high these days, the Rebelbase staff are excited to show the teens that there are couples right here in their own church community that have found a way to make their marriage work for over five decades.

“I’ve been married almost a year, and it’s not easy,” Michael says. “When you stick it out and you’re doing the things that honor God and honor each other in this to make each other grow, it’s so worth it. And for these kids to be able to see that at this age… When you plant the seeds now, when you start thinking about how to have a relationship now and what that looks like, it does wonders for your marriage. It does incredible things.”

The Fulmers are just as excited to interact with the youth and be that example of a solid, Christ-centered marriage.

“I think this is a wonderful thing,” Barbara says. “It just impresses on them the importance of a long marriage.

They’ve done other things where they’ve come and visited with seniors, and it’s always very worthwhile because they don’t look at us as just these old people — they finally realize that we’re like anybody else.”

“Just older!” Richard adds. • Find more information about Senior Ministry at thewoodlandsumc.org/seniors Find more information about Rebelbase Student Ministry at rebelbaseonline.com 5

ENRICHING MARRIAGES BUILDING BETTER MARRIAGES IN COMMUNITY

By Nathan Nix

6

PASTOR MARK SORENSEN

Welcoming couples at our 2016 re|engage launch session.

7

When Steve and Audra Simpson signed up as one of 25 couples participating in a test run of re|engage™ marriage ministry at The Woodlands UMC, their marriage wasn’t broken or on life support, but it also wasn’t a portrait of unified bliss.

“Our story is just your average, everyday struggle with selfishness, insecurity, pride and believing that the world can offer a better life than God can,” Steve said later as he and Audra shared their testimony with the 90-plus couples gathered in the Harvest Worship Center for the program’s first public session last year.

But the fact that re|engage isn’t intended just for couples seeking a last-ditch way to make their marriage work is exactly what Pastor Mark Sorensen, who leads the program each week, wants people to know about the ministry. “re|engage isn’t just for those who are broken, divorced or living in separate homes,” he says. “You can benefit from it if you’re in that situation, but it’s for couples that are coasting too. To coast, you’ve gotta be going downhill.”

According to Steve and Audra, who are one of 20 – 30 couples that lead small groups at re|engage, that’s precisely what was going on in their marriage.

“We’ve been married almost 12 years, and so we have a normal marriage,” Steve said recently. “We’ve had ups and we’ve had downs, and we’ve had conflicts that were really tough to work through, as well as conflicts that we never worked through — we just shoved them into a corner somewhere.”

Audra agrees that the program forced them to deal with things that were bubbling under the surface of their marriage but that weren’t immediately threatening to destroy it. While they’d tried traditional marital counseling in the past and benefitted from it, re|engage brought new issues to light by forcing them to take a different approach.

“When we went into counseling, I was ready to tell the counselor everything he was doing wrong, but I think this program doesn’t allow that,” she says.

“You really have to focus on how to make you better in your relationship with God and realize that the point of marriage is to glorify God. I wasn’t doing that in my marriage. I’m doing better now. I’m learning different ways and tools. Some days are better than others.”

8

re|engage was originally developed by Watermark Community Church in Dallas, which began franchising the program free of charge (aside from buying the book) to participating churches like ours.

Each Tuesday night meeting includes a short time of worship, a testimony from a leader couple, brief announcements and then a time of intimate discussion in closed small groups that are formed in week three — once each couple has gotten a taste of what they’re in for.

For many, including Audra , it ’s the vulnerability on the part of the 20 – 30 leader couples giving their testimony that proves most impactful during the 16-week session.

“When you hear a testimony each week from all kinds of people in different stages of marriage, it’s a good thing to see how people have resolved their differences,” she says. “I think that’s one of the most powerful things, because sometimes we assume other people and marriages don’t have the same issues as us.”

Mark agrees that getting a glimpse beneath the flawless veneer so many people try to project these days — especially since the advent of social media — can be such a relief.

“What I find is so brilliant about the testimonials is you’re sitting here in this large group setting and you’re hearing this couple share this story, and you realize that you’re not broken,” he says.

After participating in the low-key trial run for the program at Mark’s request and seeing the impact re|engage had on their marriage, the Simpsons agreed to serve as group leaders for the first public session. In addition to being encouraged to get on stage and share their testimony, each leader couple heads up a small group of five to seven other couples.

“I always find that in that large group setting, that testimony is kind of the intro in your small group to say, ‘Ok, anything in the story that resonates with you?’”

Mark says. “That opens people up. Out of the gate, they’re ready to start talking about their struggles, because I don’t think we live in a world where that’s welcome, to be able to say, ‘Man, this is hard’ or ‘I struggle with this.’”

Steve agrees that the small group is an invaluable place and typically opens the door to transformation.

“I’m sure it’d be scary to some people, but you really get to know each other on a deep level,” he says. “And some strong friendships form, but it also requires, of course, being honest about some of the things you struggle with.”

While there are other ministries on campus that focus on preparing for the beginning of a marriage (Foundations for Marriage), trying to save one on life support (marital counseling at Grace Point Counseling Center) or coming to grips with the end of one (DivorceCare and DivorceCare for Kids), re|engage is the missing enrichment program designed to make any marriage better.

“I think it was always surprising to me that a church of our size, with all the different programs we have, didn’t really have one (a marriage-enrichment program),” Audra says. “I’m just really glad that Mark and the church has gotten behind it, because I think it’s an amazing program, and I think not only will it be good for the people in our church, but that eventually other members of the community will come in and possibly use it as an avenue to come to Christ.”

The coolest thing to Mark is seeing re|engage members fully embrace their role as the church and begin ministering to each other.

“What Watermark also found — and I can say that I’ve seen this now — is couples in the church begin to minister, equip, pray for and stand beside other couples who are hurting,” he says. “The pastor of the church found that his marriage counseling started dropping because the church started ministering to each other and loving each other. It’s the greatest to see the church be the church, which is kind of what we’re called to do as minister, I think. We’re called to equip and empower the people and to say, ‘Sure, we have a degree in this, but you can do this.’ It’s how it started in Acts.

It’s huge to see that happen. Huge.” • Find more information on re|engage, including dates for the next session, at thewoodlandsumc.org/reengage

9

This information removed for online viewing.

This information removed for online viewing.

THE POINT MONTHLY

Is published once a month by The Woodlands UMC.

10

Dr. Ed Robb Senior Pastor

Photographers Ryan Perkins, Scott Brinkmeyer

Mike Sims Editor/Creative Director

Contributing Writers Dr. Ed Robb, Nathan Nix

Scott Brinkmeyer Publication Design/Art Director

Copy Editors Nathan Nix, Sally Bacon

Michelle “Micki” Mensio Project Manager

FOUNDATION GIFTS

FEBRUARY 18, 2016 — MARCH 31, 2016 In Memory of Leo William Amelunke, Jr., father of Mark Amelunke Derle and Gay Lindner Ken and Joyce Nesmith

In Memory of Tommy Ault, Husband of Norma Ault Norma Ault

In Memory of Jerry Bedingfield, Father of Steven Bedingfield Kim and Sally Bacon

In Honor of Sally Bacon’s retirement Clarence Thompson

In Memory of Larry Brown, Father of Lauri Ritter Kim and Sally Bacon

In Memory of Chris Locke Christopher, Daughter of Florene Locke Mike and Deanna White

In Memory of Carrol Caswell, Mother of Mary Schwendeman Linda Hurley The Perspectives Sunday School Class

In Memory of Barby Carroll, Husband of Geneva Carroll William C Nettles, Jr.

In Memory of Stan Cole, Jr., Son of Audrey Cole Jim and Betty Patton

In Memory of Jeanine Early, Mother of Jennifer Kiser Dan and Bryna Cox

In Memory of Carolyn S. Fisher T.E. and Jo Beth Bailey Jill Benton College High Reunion Fund Gary Ervin Elizabeth Grammer Garnett and Carole Fisher Mark and Leah Fisher John and Faith Flynn Sharon A. King Ronald and Grace Jones Bruce and Diane Kink Jeff and Diane Paul George and Marcia Pollitt Sara Nowak Mary Ann Shaw Thomas and Karen Smiley Karen E. Smith Charles and Robin Sullivan Marshall and Jo Ellen Whitworth

In Memory of Betty Rutter Barbara Dunlap Lillian Lowther Ken and Joyce Nesmith Resolve GeoSciences, Inc. Clarence Thompson In Memory of Harrison Scott, Brother of William Scott Clarence Thompson

FOUNDATION UNRESTRICTED Steve and Julie Bedingfield Orlanda W. Grant

FOUNDATION RESTRICTED In Memory of Glenn and Barbara Friend, parents of Linda Feld Kim and Sally Bacon Jerry and Annette Toenjes

In Memory of Jimmy Hayley, Father of Jerry Hayley Kim and Sally Bacon

The TWUMC Missions Endowment In Honor of Susan and Bill Thacker The Perspectives Sunday School Class The Society of St. Stephen Endowment In Memory of Tom Causey Cloy and Barbara Causey The Woodlands UMC Student Missions Endowment Jim and Wendy Hosford

In Memory of Joe Hurley, Husband of Linda Hurley P.E.O. Sisterhood

In Memory of Will Malek, Son of Darin and Ali Malek David and Angel Cox

In Memory of Eunice Norfleet William and Lucy Nelson

In Memory of Helen Rowland, Mother of Connie Paynter Jim and Betty Patton The Perspectives Sunday School Class

11

NON-PROFIT ORG U.S. POSTAGE

PAID

N. HOUSTON, TX PERMIT #280

2200 Lake Woodlands Drive The Woodlands, TX 77380

SELECTED UPCOMING EVENTS

For details and event registrations, visit thewoodlandsumc.org/register

MAY

JUNE

1 |

1-2 |

4 |

4 |

4 |

4 | 4-19 |

6 |

10 |

11 |

15 |

19 |

20 | 21-28 |

27 |

Blood Drive Student Missions Golf Tournament and Auction Last SH/FT Bible Study Last NEON Bible Study Prime Timers Suicide: A Community Response Women’s Study: The Wrongly Named Parable Mother’s Day Luncheon Rebelbase Senior Baccalaureate Dinner Senior’s California Rail Discovery Harvest Night of Worship Men’s Flag Football Begins Special Needs Ministry Pizza/PJ Party Costa Rica Special Needs Trip Senior’s Afternoon at the Movies

1 4 6 6 6-9 8 10-19 12 12 13-16 13-16 13 20-24 24

| | | | | | | | | | | | | |

Prime Timers Fresh Vibe (Incoming 9th graders) Children’s Summer Splash Begins Grief Recovery Begins Launch Week (Incoming 7th graders) High School Summer Bible Study Begins Guatemala Men’s and Women’s Mission Trips Junior High Pool Party Special Needs Family Worship VBS Olympics — The Heart of a Champion 56 Day Camp Dave Ramsey’s Foundations in Personal Finance Camp Buckaroo Senior’s Afternoon at the Movies

FACEBOOK

fb.com/twumc | fb.com/harvesttwumc | fb.com/loftchurch | fb.com/churchatwoodforest