Wellspring Issue #89

Healthy Sense of Self A Torah approach to acquiring this seemingly elusive state

JUNE 2023 // SIVAN 5783 // ISSUE 89

Inner Parenting Honestly, I’m bothered by my daughter’s weight gain.

How can it possibly not get in the way of our relationship?

Shiffy Friedman's response on this loaded topic

6 Summertime Snacks Esti Asher brings on a fun, flavorful, and nutritious menu

Does Intuitive Eating Work for Everyone?

Tap In

8 Cups, That’s All Busting age-old hydration myths

Cue the Barbeque Creative recipes to amp up those grilled dishes— minus the processed sauces speaking?

My Picky Eater Is Underweight Laura Shammah on increasing caloric intake the healthy way Rough on Those Dandruffs Natural solutions for this common nuisance

Change It Up 3 signs your workout isn’t working for you

The Road Not Taken Alternative healer Dr. Yael Tusk uses traditional Chinese medicine—and lots of heart

That Child Who Keeps Knocking Stuff Over?

2 at-home coordination exercises

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Just in Time for Summer

a Garden Grows in New Jersey

Renowned health coach Shaindy Oberlander welcomes us into her backyard veggie patch and shares tried-and-true tips for a successful planting season

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COPY & RESEARCH

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman Deputy Editor Libby Silberman Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Bashy Halberstam, INHC Shaindy Oberlander, INHC Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC

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Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC Esther Fried, PFC Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttmann, OTR/L Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson

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The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

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‫כאיש‬ ‫אחד‬ ‫בלב‬ ‫אחד‬

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

5

EDITOR'S NOTE

The Hot-Button Issues

A

s much as we try to keep a pulse on the kind of content you, our valued reader, appreciate and look out for, there’s really no foolproof way to nail it for everyone. At a simplistic level, one reader writes in to say she’d like to see more content on the menopause stage, another wants guidance on starting her baby on solids, and a third wants to know how he can improve blood glucose levels to combat a pre-diabetes diagnosis (yes, a substantial percentage of Wellspring readers are male). More holistically, one reader is looking out for effective weight loss tips, while another is either trying to help her child gain weight (see this issue’s Ask the Nutritionist) or trying to take a step back from the weight loss game with a desire to listen more to her own hunger and fullness cues. We know, we know. There’s no one way to please everyone and to do so would be not only an unrealistic goal, but an unhealthy one. However, one way to know that a piece we’ve published struck a cord with many of you is through our inbox. And last month’s influx of feedback regarding the article we ran in this space was a prime example.

We can never quite know which piece will collectively kindle the embers, but from experience, the stakes are high on pieces regarding emotional wellbeing. That’s not hard to understand. After all, we don’t get as fired up on the merits or downsides of consuming more proteins and less carbs or getting some more exercise in our day as we do on subjects that touch us in the deepest of places. The flurry of responses to last month’s article titled “How Much Do You Weigh?” was in hindsight not surprising; it simply affirmed the above premise.

So this is one topic readers want to hear more of, we concluded: How to attain a healthier sense of self, how to feel more okay with who we are as we are. We want

to tap into the clarity and wisdom to appreciate our essence for the invaluable, beautiful being that it is.

When our self-perception is so enmeshed in a number on the scale or external appearance, and we’re aware enough to notice it (a commodity in itself), insights on how to climb out of the rut resonate deeply with us.

I

t is with this in mind that we bring you this issue’s Inner Parenting column. This article could have been a stand-alone Wellbeing Feature, but since readers submitted questions from their perspective as parents of young girls, we’re running it from the parenting angle. It’s fascinating to notice how parenting—and marriage, as well—urges us to reconsider so many of our values, to stretch ourselves in ways in which we may have otherwise remained stagnant.

I’ve noticed this often with questions submitted to Wellspring, as well as in my own life and with the women I work with. I’m currently teaching a series on Mesillas Yesharim on Bnos Melachim’s Inspire by Wire hotline (if you love learning, especially about the truest pleasures in life, this is for you!), and there, too, I’ve noticed this phenomenon. The women who reach out to me upon listening to the shiurim often come with a question about parenting or marriage that relates to the subject matter, and this often serves as a window into their deepest selves. These are the places they may have never uncovered were it not for the nuances of their most precious relationships. Our children, goes the profound saying, are our greatest teachers. May we merit learning those lessons with patience, wisdom, and joy.

Wishing you a start of a wonderful and healthy summer season,

n a m d e i r F y Shiff

WELL- PUT “People really have deep insights into what they’re experiencing. When I ask them when the pain started, or if they can think why it started, I often get very telling responses.”

Dr. Yael Tusk, Cup of Tea 6

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

Small

Details.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

7

CONTENTS

JUNE 2023 SIVAN 5783 ISSUE 89 Our next issue will appear on Thursday, June 28th iy"H.

34

WELL INFORMED 10

Springboard

16

Spiritual Eating

18

Torah Wellspring

22

Health Updates

LIVING WELL

52

26

Fitness

28

Ask the Nutritionist

30

FYI

34

Cover Feature

44

Sample

52

Cup of Tea

60 Serial Diary

90

WELLBEING 64

OT@Home

66

Tap In

68

Inner Parenting

FAREWELL

75

SEASONED 8

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

98

Holistic

Huge

At Hamaspik, the heart is in the details WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

9

SPRINGBOARD

On the Traditional Crawl, Spring Fever, Hoarseness, and More

Marked Difference Issue #88: Cover Feature

Thank you for a comprehensive article on the importance of the traditional crawl. My third child is the only one who skipped this stage and until he began engaging in midline exercises with his kriah tutor, he really had a hard time making the connection between the right and left side of the brain. This happened a few months ago and since then his kriah has been improving by leaps and bounds, baruch Hashem.

Seeing the article in your magazine reminded me that I had wanted to reach out to parents and let them know about this important 10

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

connection that isn’t as widely known as it should be.

Thanks for bringing it to your readers’ attention.

Yasher koach, Ellie R.

Never Too Young Issue #88: Wellbeing Feature

Every article in the last issue was so informative, but the article for injecting the home environment with more ruchniyus talk took the cake. Mrs. Friedman’s pieces are

always unabashedly spiritual, giving us food for thought toward elevating our lives and filling them with more of what is really important. I showed this article to my kids who are raising their own young ones, baruch Hashem, and they found the ideas very helpful. Kids are never too young to be spoken to about these most important values in our lives.

I thoroughly enjoy the magazine even if a lot of the content isn’t relevant to my stage anymore. I simply marvel at the wealth of information it offers, all so beautifully presented.

Mrs. G. Fried Brooklyn, New York

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WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

11

Quick Question

SPRINGBOARD

Question: I am in my late forties, and I wake up several times during the night to use the bathroom. I’ve become apprehensive of being out of the house for long periods of time for fear of not being in close proximity to the facilities when I’ll need them.

Is there anything I can do to improve this situation?

Answer: I receive questions like yours often, so I know you’re certainly not the only one in these uncomfortable circumstances. Here are some tips that many have found helpful.

1. Regarding waking up at night, don’t drink past 6 p.m. unless you’re very thirsty.

2. To support bladder health, drink cranberry juice and take supplements that target this issue, such as Dr. Christopher Bladder Support, Better Bladder from Releaf and homeopathic remedies as indicated.

3. Bladder exercises are highly recommended, such as Kegels and push-ups to strengthen muscles. Many, especially women in their fifties and sixties, find it helpful to practice tightening the muscles by controlling the flow for a few seconds every time they feel an urge.

4. Acidic food and drink can further irritate the bladder and kidney function. Thus, acidic juices, smoothies, dips, and sauces should be limited.

5. This seems counterintuitive, but it’s important to cleanse your kidney with lots of water—during daytime hours.

Take care, Miriam Schweid, kinesiologist and health consultant

Sniffles and Sneezes Issue #88: Quick Question

I know the hay fever season is almost over, but for those who are still suffering, or to clip and save for next year, here’s an excellent tip that really works for me and my kids to decrease the sniffles and sneezes.

During this time of year, we drink lots and lots of chamomile and nettle tea. It’s become a ritual in our home— and the results make it all worth it (plus we doers get some time to just chill, for a good reason). These natural plants are high in anti-inflammatory properties and help reduce the swelling. We’ve even soaked cloths 12

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

in these teas and placed them on swollen eyelids, which proved to be very soothing and helpful.

Many thanks for a top-notch publication that addresses everything that really matters in life in such an appealing format.

Baila D. P. Linden, New Jersey

Hoarseness Gone Issue #88: Community

In response to the mother whose son keeps experiencing hoarseness, I’d

like to share what has worked for me.

As a full-time grade-school teacher (both in the morning and afternoon), I need to use my voice a lot, spending many of my waking hours talking in monologues. I’ve had periods where I experienced hoarseness, and they started becoming more frequent sometime last year, to the extent that I was growing nervous about how it would jeopardize my teaching experience.

Just when I was at a loss, I read here in Wellspring about singer Isaac Honig’s natural line of voicesupporting supplements, and I immediately purchased my first bottle of Voice37. It has worked wonders for me, baruch Hashem. My

‫ונשמרתם מאוד לנפשותיכם‬ ,‫ וועסט–נייל וויירוס‬,‫היט זיך פון ליים דיזיעז‬ ‫רעאקציע צו ביסן‬ ַ ‫און ַאלערגישע‬

!‫ַא געזונטן זומער‬

NE W!

hoarseness is gone and I’m able to speak clearly without overexerting myself.

The combination of herbs, all of them in their most natural state, truly facilitates voice health and clears out the system. It’s my hope that this can be helpful to the questioner’s son as well.

L. Schwartz

The Self-Worth Connection Issue #88: Editor’s Note

I really appreciated the positive message in last issue’s Editor’s Note. It is every mother’s hope to raise children, especially daughters, who feel comfortable in their own skin and aren’t plagued by the emphasis on external over internal value. However, and here’s the big question, how do we do that?

In her insightful note, as always, Shiffy Friedman retells a notable conversation with her young daughter, the message of which is so powerful and telling. I would love to know how I can relay such messages to my own daughters (ranging in ages from 8–14) while knowing good and well that I do have skewed perceptions of what I call beautiful. I would love to just laugh off external factors and focus just on their internal value, but what if I’m honest with myself and I notice that I’m not there yet?

Name withheld upon request Editor’s Note: Thank you for your important question.

Please see this issue’s Inner Parenting column for insights regarding this topic.

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The Doctor Is In

SPRINGBOARD

Question: Last week my neighbor’s daughter developed a rash. The doctor prescribed her some cream and, baruch Hashem, it’s all cleared up, but now it looks like my kids may have the same rash. My neighbor has half a tube of the medication left and she offered it to me.

The rash looks the same. Is it safe for me to just use it on my kids, or do I need to take them to get checked at the doctor too?

Answer: Medication safety is an important topic, and it’s tricky since there are lots of things to consider about both the medication and the person to whom it’s prescribed. When your doctor recommends a medication for home use, it is usually one of two types: 1. Prescription medication: This requires the doctor to write out the order for the pharmacy to fill (such as antibiotics or blood pressure medication).

2. Over-the-counter medication: This can be bought without a prescription (such as some painkillers and some allergy medicine).

An important factor to consider is the dosage.

People of different ages and sizes need different amounts of medication. Taking an amount not recommended may result in under- or overdosing, both of which are unsafe. This may also apply to topical medicine like creams since the frequency with which they are used may vary depending on the size of the patient and the medical condition.

Second, there are multiple different medications that can be used to treat a particular condition that work in different ways. For example, your doctor may suggest different antibiotics for you than

they do for your child, even if you both have the same condition. This is especially relevant when considering allergies, other medical conditions, or other medications the individual may be taking.

Similarly, sometimes certain medical conditions look the same from the outside—like a rash or ear infection—but have different causes that require different medications. The doctor can determine how best to treat the specific case.

As a rule of thumb, if a doctor prescribes a medication that is available by prescription only, this should not be shared without checking with the doctor first. If you think you might need the same medication your neighbor has, bring it along with you to the doctor, and they can confirm if it’s correct and what the dose is. The same is true if they advise an over-the- counter medication.

If your healthcare provider approves the medication, you should always confirm there is enough left in the container and that it isn’t expired.

Refuah sheleimah to your daughter, and we’re glad to hear you have a great support system in your neighborhood!

Shula Diena, MS-II, Technion American Medical School

Get in touch!

Wellspring invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@wellspringmagazine.com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

14

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

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WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

15

SPIRITUAL EATING

By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

The Far-Reaching Impact of Self Esteem “We were like grasshoppers in our eyes, and so we were in their eyes” (Bamidbar 13:33).

Upon their fateful return from Eretz Yisrael, the Meraglim expressed their fear of the giant inhabitants of the Land.

Their trepidation stemmed not only from the enormous stature of the Nefilim, but because the spies looked at themselves as miniscule: “We were like grasshoppers in our eyes…”

How could that be?

These were distinguished dignitaries, leaders of their own tribes, each numbering thousands of members. They had spent the past 13 months living miraculously in the midbar, helping construct the Mishkan, and preparing to assume their covenantal roles as stewards of Hashem’s precious Land.

Why did they exhibit such a deflated sense of self?

The answer can be found in the request to spy out the land in the first place. The commentators tell us that those who wanted firsthand proof of what the Land had in store lacked sufficient trust in Hashem that He would take care of them regardless of who or what they would encounter. This request not only distanced them from their Creator and created a cause for concern about being protected, but it also conveyed their flawed sense of self-esteem.

As Yidden, we have no true identity separate and apart from Hashem. We’re His nation, carrying out His will for us through Torah and mitzvos. When we weaken that bond with our Creator, we also compromise our own intrinsic con-

nection to self. We may act the part of a typical person, carrying on our daily lives with normal activities, but we lack genuine meaning to life. That can only come from fulfilling the role for which we were created.

What an important message to keep in mind regarding our food choices. When we are disconnected from our Source, we are prone to feel more fear and less regard for ourselves. It’s this lack of self-esteem that has many profound ramifications. In the case of our health, it can lead an otherwise intelligent person to hurt himself by making harmful choices or engaging in behaviors linked to chronic health conditions and fatal illnesses.

If I feel like dirt, I’ll treat myself like dirt, or I’ll eat dirt—wrapped up in the form of candy, soda, or junk food. So what if it’s not good for me? I don’t care. I like the taste, so I’ll go ahead and eat it anyway.

These sentiments are expressed when we don’t yet feel our true value, when we’re not fully connected to our exalted status.

“And Rabi Eliezer said: A person should always conduct himself as if Hakadosh Baruch Hu resides in his stomach” (Taanis 11b, Tosafos).

If we genuinely respect our body and see ourselves as the dignified mamleches Kohanim we truly are, we’ll be much less inclined to make self-sabotaging choices, even if they’re sometimes hard to resist.

Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS, is the founder and director of Soveya and the author of the best-selling book Enough Is Enough—How the Soveya Solution Is Revolutionizing the Diet and Weight-Loss World, available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles and Judaica Plaza in Lakewood.

He has worked with thousands of clients around the world and has maintained a 130-pound weight loss for the last 19 years. For more information about Soveya’s programs call 732-578-8800, email info@soveya.com, or visit www. soveya.com.

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WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

17

TORAH WELLSPRING

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

I Turn to You

We’re all believers at heart

On the heels of Zeman Matan Toraseinu, we’re still absorbing the great gift Hakadosh Baruch Hu bestowed upon us at the momentous ma’amad Har Sinai. At the cornerstone of the relationship between Klal Yisrael and Hashem is the mitzvah that commences the Aseres Hadibros, the one Hakadosh Baruch Hu uttered in His own voice, so to speak.

18

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

All of our neshamos were present at that watershed moment in history when Hashem’s voice thundered, “Anochi Hashem Elokecha…” And the implication of this utterance is the mitzvah that is so precious to us, the bedrock of our Yiddishkeit and the glue that cements our relationship with Hashem: emunah. “I am Hashem your G-d, and it is your obligation to have faith in Me.” Emunah, we know, implies faith in Hashem as the Creator of this world and the One who keeps main-

taining (i.e., recreating) it through every second of its existence. It is the belief that everything He does is for our good, even when we can’t understand how or why. It also includes the belief that Hashem is the One who gave us the Torah at Har Sinai and that its teachings are just as valid and true today as they were then.

festation of its existence.

But there’s a common question on the topic that plays a critical role in our Yiddishkeit: It is only if a Yid believes in the Torah that he can then observe the mitzvah of Anochi, but if he doesn’t see the Torah as his guide for living, its contents—and thus the commandment of Anochi—won’t hold weight in his eyes. In other words, the commandment is issued in the Torah on the prerequisite that the one learning it already has this kind of faith. In that case, the commandment seems redundant. If a Yid doesn’t believe in Torah, he won’t be turning to it for direction at all. If so, what is the point in issuing this commandment?

As evidence, the Rebbe proceeded to give the chassid yet another berachah, that this time he would win the million-dollar lottery. With renewed resolve, the chassid purchased yet another ticket, taking happy strides as he headed home. This time, his faith in the Rebbe reestablished, he already felt giddy with excitement, practically anticipating the phone call that would bear the delightful news.

The answer offered by the mefarshim lends incredible insight into the greatness of a Yid. True, the commentators respond, only a Yid who already believes in Torah will read this commandment in the first place—but that’s every Yid. Every Yid, the sefarim note, has that kernel of emunah in his heart. There’s no such thing as a Yid who doesn’t harbor this faith, whether he’s aware of it or not. If so, what is the mitzvah of emunah? It is to nurture this kernel into emunah chushis, experiential faith—to believe with such clarity that it impacts our deeds.

Ready to Bet for Your Beliefs?

The commandment of emunah is not about creating a belief that isn’t yet there. Rather, it’s about bringing to the fore what we’ve already been feeling by acting upon this belief. It’s this response to the faith that’s already present that serves as a mani-

A chassid once came to his Rebbe for a berachah to win the lottery. He later returned to inform the Rebbe of his sorry outcome. When he asked how it could be that the Rebbe’s berachah wasn’t fulfilled, the Rebbe responded, “It’s because you didn’t truly believe that you would win.”

While on the way, this chassid met the Rebbe’s gabbai, who had an offer for him. “You just purchased a lottery ticket, right?” the gabbai asked.

“Here’s my offer to you: I’m ready to give you $950,000 cash in exchange for that ticket.”

Now, the chassid was in a bind. On the one hand, his faith in the Rebbe’s word was steadfast; this time, he wholeheartedly believed he would win—or so he thought. On the other hand, here was the gabbai, holding the funds before his eyes, in real time. Back and forth he went, yes, no, yes, no. If he waited just until the winner was announced, he’d probably get the entire million. But then, there was that niggling voice that reminded him that if he took the gabbai up on his offer, he’d certainly procure a sizable sum. Which path to take?

In the end, the man acquiesced to the second line of thinking and accepted the cash in exchange for the ticket. “That’s what I meant when I said you don’t really believe,” the Rebbe later explained to the chassid. If this man would have truly and wholeheartedly had faith in the Rebbe’s word, he wouldn’t have taken

the gabbai up on his offer. Instead, he would have held on tight to his ticket, knowing without a smidgen of a doubt that very soon he’d be one million dollars richer.

It’s when we’re ready to bet for a belief that we manifest our true faith.

This, the sefarim teach, is the meaning behind the mitzvah of emunah.

Yes, there’s a place in you that feels this security regarding Hashem’s existence, that has the clarity regarding His timeless Torah, but it’s your obligation to conduct yourself in a way that reflects that. Develop the faith that’s already there.

What Are Our Charms?

Rav Yechiel Yakovson, a renowned mechanech in Eretz Yisrael, was once invited to meet with a group of self-proclaimed hardcore atheists—all of them Yidden, Rachmana litzlan—and open their eyes to the wisdom and beauty of a Torah life.

“They don’t believe in anything,” he was cautioned. In preparation for what he assumed would be a hefty philosophical debate, he spent hours combing through sefarim on emunah, arming himself with a well of sources regarding the irrefutable truths that are at the foundation of our faith.

Finally, after days of intensive preparation, Rav Yakovson walked into the conference hall. He immediately sized up the group of men on the other side of the debate team, noting a certain vibe. These men weren’t sitting in tailored suits; most were in gang-like attire, sporting an interesting array of accessories. One was wearing an earring with an icon of an eye, and the chunky necklace dangling from another’s neck sported a sword. “What’s up with all these accessories?” Rav Yakovson asked.

“This stuff is our charm for good luck,” the men answered. “We’re often involved in perilous pursuits, and these amulets protect us.”

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

19

TORAH WELLSPRING

Rav Yakovson turned to the crowd and announced, “With such temimus’dig believers as you, there’s no need to engage in a philosophical debate at all.”

What an insight this was for those men, and this was the key to Rav Yakovson’s siyata diShmaya at an event that left all the once nonbelievers stumped. “You think you don’t believe in anything, but look at yourselves. Hear what you’re saying. It’s not that you don’t believe; you’re channeling all that faith into these charms…”

All of us human beings are innately programmed with unadulterated faith. We’re born as believers. Our very first behavior upon entering this world is proof of that: crying. When a newborn baby cries, he doesn’t yet have the cognitive capacity to know that his mother will provide him with his needs. Still, he cries. These cries emanate from a deep place in our all-knowing neshamah, from our innate faith in Hakadosh Baruch Hu that Someone out there will help me, will hear my cries and give me what I need. And that’s exactly what happens, but through a shaliach.

Over time, as this baby develops, he starts to process the connection, but from a very juvenile perspective.

My mother is the one who approaches my crib, so she’s the one I need to turn to to express my needs. She’s the one I can rely on. He doesn’t grasp that she’s just the shaliach, and she becomes the object of his relentless faith.

Later, when each of us once-children are adolescents, and then adults, we may keep coming to those conclusions again and again, each time attributing our faith to this professional, that status, the other position. And all this time, we’re channeling what is meant to connect us to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to enable us to feel unconditional security, toward what we perceive as omnipotent. These become our “good luck charms.” But as Yidden who want to channel our faith toward the only direction that is real, effective, and 20

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comforting, we need to take note of this flawed perception and change it. This is precisely the first mitzvah that Hakadosh Baruch Hu introduced us to at Matan Torah: “Anochi Hashem Elokecha,” I want you to direct your faith toward Me, the One who took you out of Mitzrayim and the only One who can and will ever hold the reins of control in this world.

Say It Like It Is The mitzvah of emunah is to tap into this innate faith and to constantly redirect it toward our relationship with Hashem: I thought this person could help me with my issue, but now I’m internalizing that he’s only the shaliach. I was under the impression that when we move to this community, I take up that position, I keep this kind of company, I’ll feel secure and protected, but I’m realizing that all these are just covers. That’s what exercising emunah means.

How do we start this process?

As with all core improvement, the work begins with first noticing toward what or whom we’re currently channeling our faith. The faith is there—that’s a given—but what are the counterfeit forms of security we’ve been latching on to? Hamakir es mekomo, to know our place—to conduct an honest self-assessment— is at the cornerstone of acquiring Torah, which includes middos, as well as emunah. While it feels better in the moment to convince ourselves that our emunah is where it should be, it is only when we look inward with eyes of emes that true growth can happen.

An adam gadol once shared a powerful explanation of the words “He’emanti ki adaber” that provides insight into the importance of this step. “He’emanti,” I will come to believe, “ki adaber,” because I admit to the place I’m at. It is specifically when I take the courage to acknowl-

Our very first behavior upon entering this world is proof of that: crying. When a newborn baby cries, he doesn’t yet have the cognitive capacity to know that his mother will provide him with his needs. edge my current fallacy—when I talk to Hashem about how I feel about my state of emunah right now—that I will be’ezras Hashem facilitate the development of a deeper, more authentic emunah.

Sage Advice Once we talk to Hashem about our current place with emes, we’ve already done the monumental first step. This ushers in so much siyata diShmaya in deepening our faith and enabling us to feel truly secure. It’s the “pischu li pesach” that allows for a wider opening, a greater shefa.

And then there’s something else we can do to open the channels for deepened faith. The Ramban advises a powerful tool for directing our faith toward Hashem in real time.

He writes that if we take a look at Klal Yisrael’s exodus from Mitzrayim, we’ll notice time and again the incredible miracles Hashem performed

for them, but it was only at krias Yam Suf that the Torah relates, “They believed in Hashem and in Moshe His servant.” Where was their faith until then, he asks. Weren’t the breathtaking miracles until then—the ten makkos, leaving the fortress of Mitzrayim in broad daylight—enough to confirm their belief?

No, the Ramban teaches. There was one unique attribute about krias Yam Suf that unleashed their emunah then and only then: They davened for Hashem’s intervention. Of course, the other miracles were spectacular, but it was at the sea that the Yidden raised their hands upward in complete and total surrender. It was there that they were caught between a roaring sea and their angry captors, that they turned to Him with complete faith that only He could help them, and that they finally experienced the “Vayaminu baHashem ubeMoshe avdo.”

The Ramban is telling us that here-

in lies a powerful tool for all of us Yidden, throughout all the ages, that we can implement in our own relationship with Hashem. You want to experience this kind of emunah? Be like the Yidden at the sea, he advises.

Turn to Hashem for something you need, talk to Him with sincerity, and see what happens. And if that thing you’re asking for is emunah itself, your tefillah won’t go unanswered.

This is because “hakol biyedei Shamayim chutz miyiras Shamayim.”

You will start to notice a deepened faith, a calmer existence, and a connection you haven’t felt before. That you turned to Hashem for His help unleashed more of what you tapped into in the first place.

As long as we keep acknowledging the place that we’re at, and turning to Hashem to lift us upward, we’re doing our work to observe the mitzvah of emunah. It is then that we can enjoy the most tranquil, pleasant, and joy-inducing state a Yid reach.

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21

UPDATES

By Esther Retek

Grilling with Caution The barbecue’s connection to rheumatoid arthritis If you’re gearing your grill in preparation for the summer season, you may want to keep in mind the risks a new study outlines.

often than men. The cause isn’t known, but it is thought to involve genes as well as environmental factors, such as smoking, nutrition, and lifestyle.

According to a new study published in BMJ Open, toxic chemicals known as polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs), which are released from car exhaust, smoking, and particularly backyard grilling (flame grilling of meat and other foods contributes to even greater PAH formation), may increase a person’s risk of developing the autoimmune disease rheumatoid arthritis.

“While more studies are needed, the findings suggest that polyaromatic hydrocarbons may be a significant contributor to rheumatoid arthritis,” says lead researcher Chris D’Adamo, director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. “People at risk of rheumatoid arthritis should be cautious of polyaromatic hydrocarbons and consider minimizing modifiable sources of exposure.”

For the study, the researchers used data from the 2007– 2016 US National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey on nearly 22,000 adults. More than 1,400 had rheumatoid arthritis.

Blood and urine samples were assessed to measure the amount of PAH and other chemicals in the body.

The odds of developing rheumatoid arthritis were greatest among the 25 percent of people with the highest PAH levels, regardless of whether they were former or current smokers.

After taking into account dietary fiber, physical activity, smoking, income, education, age, gender, and weight, one PAH in particular, 1-hydroxynaphthalene, was strongly linked with higher odds (80 percent) of developing rheumatoid arthritis.

Rheumatoid arthritis is an autoimmune and inflammatory disease that primarily affects the joints, causing tissue damage and long-lasting pain. Joints may become deformed, and people with the disease may be unsteady on their feet. Women develop rheumatoid arthritis more 22

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Can PAHs be avoided altogether? That’s highly unlikely in the era we live in.

PAHs are rife in the environment, from car exhausts to cigarette smoke. Other sources include indoor environments, natural gas, smoke from wood or coal-burning fires, fumes from asphalt roads, and consumption of grilled or charred foods.

The solution? D’Adamo advises limiting exposure to PAHs whenever possible. Avoid cigarette smoke, including second- and third-hand smoke, and don’t eat burned foods, he said.

Also keep this in mind as you prepare to grill: Marinating food with spices and herbs before they go on the grill reduces the formation of PAHs and other harmful toxicants.

Try to remove visual charring, reduce fat pyrolysis by minimizing dripping from the meat onto the heat source, and consider choosing leaner cuts of meat.

(Source: US News)

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UPDATES

Part

7

in a series

Demystified

Myth: Drink eight glasses of water daily to keep your body hydrated.

Fact: There is no one right number; adequate hydration even varies for each person per day.

With summer up ahead, this is the perfect time to debunk one of the most widely-accepted myths. Yup, about the fixed eight glasses of water.

Many of us subconsciously ascribe to the misconception that eight is the magical number, but in truth, there’s no science to prove that eight it is. The advice to drink eight cups of water a day evolved after a 1945 recommendation from the Food and Nutrition Board of the National Research Council, which encouraged adults to consume about 64 ounces of water daily. The recommendation referred to a person’s total daily intake of water, including from all their foods and beverages, but it was widely misinterpreted to mean that people should drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water every day. Furthermore, some experts have argued that this widely-held belief is not even rooted in science.

According to a study published in Science, for most healthy adults, drinking eight cups of water a day is completely unnecessary. The research found that our water needs vary greatly based on age, movement, and food con24

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

sumption.

One study of 883 elderly adults, for example, found that there was no evidence of dehydration among the 227 people in the study who routinely drank less than six glasses of water daily.

So how much water is just right? The answer is simple.

It’s not about a particular amount, as our hydration needs vary from day to day depending on an array of variables, including temperature, level of activity, and the amount of food-derived hydration (and dehydration, such as after eating foods high in added sugar). Thus, the advice is to drink when you’re thirsty. “If you’re paying attention to your body and drinking when you feel like you need to, then you should be fine,” says Herman Pontzer, a professor of evolutionary anthropology and global health at Duke University and a co-author of an extensive analysis of water needs.

Bear in mind that hydrating with foods that have a high water content is also important, so stock up on all those fruits and vegetables as the temperatures keep rising.

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To receive/LAHAV’s free email WELLSPRING SIVAN 5783 25 newsletters and updates, or for more information regarding LAHAV, write to info@lahavinitiative.org or visit www.lahavinitiative.org.

FITNESS

CHANGE IT UP

3 SIGNS YOUR WORKOUT ISN’T WORKING FOR YOU

By Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, BS, CPT Chaya Tziry Retter is a Monsey-based Registered Dietitian, ACE-Certified Personal Trainer, and group fitness instructor. She is passionate about helping others lead healthier lives in a way that suits their needs. She can be reached at 845-540-4487.

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WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

Summer’s just around the corner and who’s not excited?

Whether we’re looking forward to late-afternoon barbeques, the pool, the steady supply of mood-boosting sunlight, or the change of pace, there’s something in the summer air that elicits joy. Wait, there’s also something else in the air—those promises to exercise may just be floating away in the breeze…

We’re talking about burnout. You were so committed after Yom Tov, you pushed through and stayed strong. But with so many distractions, it’s nearly impossible to tear yourself away from the beckoning of relaxation and get to work on your work-out. But that’s not how it should be. Exercise is supposed to energize, lift the mood, make us feel strong, clear the mind, and improve physical and mental wellbeing.

That’s where change comes in. Sometimes, it’s important to switch up the routine, try something different, or even dare to start something new. Here are three signs your current workouts aren’t giving you the biggest bang for your buck. If these signs resonate with you, it may be time to reconsider your current regimen and mix up your fitness routine.

1

You feel drained and depleted afterward.

If you feel depleted, exhausted, or lightheaded after a workout, this means the exercise is either too intense and/or you’re not fueling yourself properly before or after.

Exercise should energize you, not deplete you.

Take an energy assessment before and after your next workout. Rate your energy levels on a scale from 1–10.

Notice how you feel. If your energy level is lower after your workout than it was before you started, that’s data that something needs to change. You may need a few minutes to catch your breath and really cool down before evaluating, but generally, you shouldn’t feel like you need to nap when you’re done.

If you’re feeling zapped, try lowering the intensity or decreasing the duration of your workout. Also, try having a pre- and post-workout snack if you’re not including one yet. If your body has little to no fuel and yet you want it to exert energy, it’s like trying to drive a car with no gas in the tank. You need fuel to go places!

A post-workout snack should contain a combination of carbs (to replenish energy) and protein (to repair muscle).

Some examples might include yogurt with granola, fruit smoothie with milk, toast with eggs or peanut butter, or cheese and crackers.

2

You don’t feel good about yourself afterward.

One of the countless benefits of doing something good for your body is that you feel good that you did it. The confidence and recognition that you are taking care of yourself and your health is a great feeling.

But there can sometimes be other voices in our heads.

Voices that say, “No pain, no gain,” “I didn’t sweat enough,” “I missed so many steps,” “I barely see any results,” and the like.

Shame and discouragement are not very good motivators. You should feel strong and empowered after you exercise, not guilty or disappointed. Any movement is better than no movement!

It’s important to try to stick to an encouraging, upbeat workout environment and enjoy the support of like-minded people, whether it’s the attendees of a class, a positive instructor, an easygoing walking partner, or an engaging video. The surroundings of your workout make a big difference in how you feel about it.

3

You simply dread working out.

It’s normal to lack motivation here and there, but if you’re always dreading working out, it might be time to reevaluate your workout program.

What is your intention when you exercise? If it’s to lose weight quickly, you might lack motivation because you’re not seeing “results.” Or if that’s the intention, you might be choosing types of exercise you don’t really enjoy.

You might take part in a type of exercise because you think you should, not because you want to.

Think about it like this: If exercise wouldn’t impact the numbers on the scale, would you choose another kind of workout? Would you change the types of movement you do? If the answer is yes, ask yourself more. What types of movement did you enjoy as a kid growing up? Did you rollerblade? Swim? Dance? Do gymnastics? Jump on the trampoline? Perhaps it’s time to revisit a form of fitness you actually find enjoyable.

With the summer up ahead, take the opportunity to explore the wide array of movement options, whether indoor or outdoor. Find some form of exercise that brings you pleasure and makes you feel good and confident, and you’ll have a winning formula. With that in place, you can look forward to those long summer days with anticipation and joy, not burnout.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

27

ASK THE NUTRITIONIST

By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Q

How to help your picky eater gain weight I’m aware that this column is often focused on weight loss or management, but the issue we’ve been struggling with for a while now is the opposite, and I’m hoping you can help us. My nine-year-old daughter is an extremely picky eater and has a very limited list of foods she consumes. Additionally, she’s experiencing sensory issues that make it difficult for her to eat properly, which results in her not putting on enough weight. Her doctor hasn’t been overly concerned (yet), but he did urge me to look into a proper diet that will help her gain weight. What can I do to help my daughter overcome her sensory issues and ensure that she gets the nutrition she needs to develop properly?

I appreciate that you’re raising this issue, especially given how little this matter is discussed. It may help you to know that many of the clients I’ve worked with have been dealing with similar issues, and that they’re more common than you might think.

There are a variety of causes for underweight in kids, many of which are related to a term that can sound frightening: failure to thrive.

This medical term isn’t a disease and doesn’t have a single definition, but it usually refers to a child’s hindered growth caused by lack of nutrition.

In babies, failure to thrive may occur because of feeding problems, including: • difficulty with latch in breastfeeding • an allergy to formula ingredients • reflux These can all lead to a child falling behind in their growth pattern.

Children of any age may experience failure to thrive due to: • an undiagnosed food allergy or intolerance • illness 28

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• oral problems • gastrointestinal conditions • behavioral, developmental, or neurological issues Certain medications are also known to interfere with appetite, causing weight loss or weight plateaus in kids.

Drugs used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children, such as Ritalin, Dexedrine, and Adderall are especially known for their side effect of decreased appetite. If you think your child’s medications may be affecting their appetite or weight gain, speak with their pediatrician about your concerns. Don’t stop any medications abruptly.

Sometimes, the reason for a child’s slow weight gain might be as simple as not taking in enough calories for their age, especially if they’re limited to very few foods.

Active, growing kids may require more calories than you realize. Preteen boys, for example, often need as many calories as adults.

For the record—and for your own peace of mind—the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines “underweight” as falling in the bottom fifth percentile of the growth chart.

No matter the cause for your child’s slow weight gain, the good news is that as a parent, you have lots of control over one primary healing factor: their diet. A nutritious, high calorie eating pattern is the best place to start.

If the issue is picky eating, as is your daughter’s case, you can also set a good example by modeling healthy eating behaviors and making nutritional choices. Looking into sensory issues can also be a good start toward helping her develop healthier eating habits (and to help her in other

areas of life, as well).

For all other parents reading this, it’s important to distinguish between underweight that is concerning and a weight that’s simply below the norm. It’s only natural to take notice when the points fall below the average, but keep in mind that some variation in the growth process is normal.

Pediatricians typically look at a child’s weight progress over time, rather than a single low weigh-in at a well-child visit. They can also help a parent focus their efforts at home on helping their child gain weight.

Parents need not worry if their child skips a meal here or there or suddenly turns up their nose at certain foods, or—for toddlers, let’s be honest—an entire category of foods.

Kids’ appetites can be fickle. As parents, we should give our child time and space, knowing that this very well could be a temporary phase. But, we should always continue to offer a wide variety of foods.

In your case, as your pediatrician advised you to look into a plan, here are some basic healthy weight-gain tips.

Incorporate a range of nutrients. The first area you should focus on is protein, which includes red meat and chicken; fatty fish such as salmon, tuna, or sardines; eggs; nut/seed butters; and soy proteins. There are many recipes available that will help you incorporate protein in a kid-friendly manner.

Dairy is another food group you should offer if your child is struggling with weight gain. This includes full-fat yogurt, cheese, whole or 2% milk, buttermilk, half-and-half or cream, sour cream, and cream cheese. A simple switch to full-fat or whole milk can help your child get some needed fat.

In general, try to incorporate more healthy fats and oils in their diet. Fats and oils include olive oil, avocado oil, and butter.

Of course, carbs can also help. Rice, potatoes, corn, high-fiber breakfast cereal, whole grains, pasta, quinoa, oats, protein and granola bars (those that are low in sugar, such as 5 grams or less per bar) are all good options.

Fruits and vegetables such as coconut, avocado, dried fruit, bananas, mango, grapes, squash, and other root vegetables are all higher in calories and can help with weight gain.

If your child prefers beverages, try offering smoothies with substantive ingredients like full-fat yogurt, nut butters, or coconut milk. Protein shakes boosted with protein powder, avocado, nut butters, or chocolate milk (best if you opt for homemade shakes with all-natural ingredients) are also a favorite for kids.

If your child is filling up on low-calorie beverages, try to limit them. Hydration is certainly important for

kids from infancy to the teenage years. But sometimes, too much liquid can compete with food for space in your child’s tummy. To promote appetite, try offering foods before beverages at mealtimes. Also, avoid sugary beverages like sodas and fruit juices. Drinking is sometimes easier for a child who has a small appetite, so adding chocolate milk next to a grilled cheese sandwich can add more healthy calories to the meal.

Allow eating whenever hunger hits. For most of us, eating shouldn’t be an all-day free-for-all. For kids who struggle to put on weight, however, allowing food at any time of day can be a perfectly acceptable approach. Consider getting away from the pre-set meal and snack times you think of as “normal” or “right” and simply encourage your child to eat whenever they’re hungry.

Here’s another strategy that goes hand in hand with the “eating is always OK” model. Rather than sticking to a tight schedule of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, feel free to play with the frequency of meals and snacks. Your child may take in more calories by eating six to eight smaller meals per day than by eating three. I find this very effective. Try to encourage eating every two to three hours.

Don’t let kids load up on empty calories. Foods like soda, potato chips, and fast food may lead to weight gain, but since these choices are generally low in nutrients, they’re not particularly favorable for your child’s health. Opt for more nourishing, whole foods as often as possible.

Include high calorie add-ons in everyday foods. Incorporate high-calorie additions into everyday foods. For example, nut butters, avocado, avocado oil, and other calorie-dense ingredients can all easily make their way into smoothies to add bulk. And when your child needs to gain weight, there’s nothing wrong with using buttermilk in pancakes, sour cream on baked potatoes, or extra cheese in pasta or on pizza.

Offer a variety of foods. Offer your child a range of foods, including those with different textures, flavors, and colors. Experiment with different cooking methods to make the food more appealing to your child. For example, some children with sensory issues prefer crunchy foods, so try baking or roasting vegetables instead of boiling them.

Don’t limit exercise. Since weight gain is essentially a calories-in versus calories-out equation, it might be tempting to tell a child who is underweight not to get too active.

But kids need daily exercise. Unless advised by your doctor, it’s best not to limit their activity.

Putting together all the pieces to help your child gain weight can be stressful, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Seeking help from a dietitian can make a world of difference. With expert knowledge of childhood nutrition, a dietitian can guide you toward making the best choices for your child’s diet.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

29

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

BY FAIGY SCHONFELD

DANDRUFFS ITCHY SCALP? WHITE FLAKES ON YOUR SHOULDERS? DANDRUFF IS NO FUN, PARTICULARLY SO IN OUR TIMES WHEN ALMOST EVERYTHING WE WEAR IS BLACK. IT’S ANNOYING, EMBARRASSING, AND ALSO VERY COMMON—AT LEAST ONE IN FIVE AMERICANS HAVE DANDRUFF, ESPECIALLY DURING DRY SEASONS LIKE WINTER. DEALING WITH DANDRUFF USUALLY MEANS APPLYING ANTI-DANDRUFF SHAMPOO OR THE LIKE, BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK THE INGREDIENTS OF THOSE PRODUCTS. THEY USUALLY CONTAIN A VARIETY OF UNPRONOUNCEABLE AND DECIDEDLY UNNATURAL INGREDIENTS THAT OFTEN INCLUDE DAMAGING SIDE EFFECTS. BUT TAKE HEART. WE’VE BEEN BLESSED WITH HERBS, ESSENTIAL OILS, VITAMINS, AND MINERALS—AND THERE’S LOTS WE CAN DO WITH THEM!

30

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

WHAT IS DANDRUFF? There is no clear consensus on what causes dandruff, but it’s thought to be caused by a naturally occurring yeast-like fungus that thrives on the scalp. Normally, this fungus exists in peace and harmony on the scalp, but sometimes, whether due to stress or hormone imbalances, the fungus starts making trouble and grows unchecked, which leads to mild inflammation, which leads to the production of dead skin cells. For the final touch, these dead cells mix with the oil on the scalp and show up as white flakes in the hair.

Though thankfully not dangerous for the most part, dandruff does present as a royal pain. It’s more prevalent during the winter or other dry seasons; decreased humidity often results in the scalp losing its moisture.

Some shampoo and styling products can also increase the odds of having dandruff.

HABIT OVERHAUL To start with an easy one, drink! Inadequate hydration causes dry skin, and so our goal here is hydration.

Now for the fun part, take a look at what you’re eating. A healthy diet can go a long way toward healthy hair and scalp. Lots of fruit, raw veggies—especially the green, leafy kind—and foods rich in biotin (think egg yolk, fish, seeds, nuts, sweet potatoes, or taken via supplement), omega-3 fatty acids, and protein. Chicken, beans, chickpeas, dark chocolate, and sesame seeds are also good due to their zinc content. Selenium, vitamins E and C, and vitamin B complex are also important.

Be kind to your hair. Let it air-dry if you can, and if you must use a blow-dryer, try the lowest setting. Don’t rub hair vigorously after washing; pat gently with a towel instead.

This may be a hard pill to swallow for some, but another helpful intervention is not washing the hair every day. Twice a week is recommended in order to maintain the scalp’s natural balance of oils. (After hair is washed, the body generates sebum [oil] to restore the balance, but this makes hair oilier.) When washing hair, wet it with lukewarm water and, using the fingertips, massage shampoo into scalp. Let it sit for a minute or two before rinsing with cold water; cold water closes pores and hair follicles on the scalp, which prevents dirt from entering.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

31

ALTERNATIVE VIEW

REMEDIES Oils Tea tree oil has been used for years for its antibacterial, antifungal, and antiviral properties. It can prevent further growth of fungus on your scalp, plus it helps balance the pH levels and unclog hair follicles. It’s also rich with antioxidants that can eliminate flakes and restore the natural oils in your hair. If you’d like, add some tea tree oil to your shampoo.

for about 15 minutes, keeping hair wrapped in a towel, then wash your hair as usual. Try this treatment once or twice a week.

Here’s a spa-like treatment: Soak a towel in hot water for several seconds, then remove and wring out excess water. Wait a few minutes for the towel to reach a temperature that won’t burn, then cover your head with the towel for 15–20 minutes.

Unrefined coconut oil is one of the best dandruff treatments available. Warm it up and massage gently into scalp to nourish and condition hair from the roots up. It will help reduce itchiness and restore the scalp to a healthy state. It’s best to leave on for a few hours at a time.

Black pepper contains a combo of zinc and selenium, which can be hardy warriors when faced with dandruff flakes. Instead of applying black pepper on its own, mix two teaspoons with a cup of yogurt, then rub the blend into your scalp. Allow it to sit for an hour or two before washing with a mild shampoo.

Olive oil is full of natural moisturizing and clarifying properties. Heat to a lukewarm temperature and massage into scalp. Leave the oil in overnight and rinse with a gentle shampoo in the morning.

This one doesn’t sound that appealing, but it has proven to be effective. Beat two eggs and apply to scalp, leaving it in for an hour. Rinse with a mild shampoo.

Jojoba oil is another goody—it nourishes and moisturizes the hair and scalp. As a natural moisturizing agent, it doesn’t leave any oily build-up on the hair after use.

Other essential oils that may be helpful include rosemary, cedarwood, patchouli, and lavender. Blend a few drops of therapeutic grade essential oil with a carrier oil and massage into scalp.

Other Remedies After shampooing, rinse hair with the juice of a fresh lime. This cleans the scalp and makes hair look shiny.

Another remedy that many have seen positive results from is mixing lime juice with Indian gooseberry (an herb), and massaging into scalp nightly. Alternatively, use a cotton ball to apply lemon juice to your scalp, leave it in for 20 minutes, then rinse with water. Do this nightly until the dandruff calls it a day. Another way to do the lemon treatment is to mix one part lemon juice to two parts garlic and apply as a paste to the affected area. The lemon juice deals with the existing flakes while the garlic protects against bacteria that bring on the flakes. Leave this treatment in for 20–30 minutes before cleaning with a gentle shampoo.

Now, I’m sure you’ve been waiting for this—drumroll—apple cider vinegar, everyone’s favorite! Due to its high potassium content, it helps treat a dry and itchy scalp, as well as eliminate flakes. Add a quarter cup of the stuff with a quarter cup water to a spray bottle and spray directly onto hair and scalp. Leave it in

Neem is a tree that contains effective anti-fungal properties; apply neem leaves or oil to the scalp and rinse an hour or two later. Neem is also a great treatment for lice and other scalp infections.

Some have seen positive results from taking tissue cell salts (a homeopathic treatment) to combat dandruff; they are touted as the building blocks of good health by providing the cells with the micro minerals they need to function optimally. Tissue Salt No. 5 (known as Kali. Mur.) is good for treating white, flaky dandruff, but it should be taken over a long period. Be aware that flakiness may increase at first. Foods rich in Kali. Mur. are green beans, carrots, beetroot, kale, asparagus, pineapples, lemons, and plums.

Tissue Salt No. 6 Kali. Sulph. is useful for sticky, waxy dandruff; flaky, dry patches on the scalp; and alopecia (hair loss).

Tissue Salt No. 12 Silica treats dandruff, improves lusterless hair, and generally keeps the scalp in good shape. Barley, oats, apples, guavas, spinach, chicory, and celery are some of the foods that contain silica.

And—you knew this was coming—dandruff and stress really do have a relationship. While stress may not be the culprit behind the start of those flakes, dandruff thrives if the immune system is compromised, which is just what stress likes to do. So as you read this, take some nice, calming breaths and then maybe do some yoga, or anything else that helps you de-stress.

Of course, it’s always a good idea to turn to Hashem— in this case, to ask Him to make the flakes vanish.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. Please consult with a medical practitioner before administering any treatment or implementing lifestyle changes.

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HOTEL R

COVER FEATURE

TIME TO GROW A

VEGGIE PATCH

THE WHYS AND HOWS OF PLANTING AND NURTURING Y

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YOUR OWN GARDEN

BY SHAINDY OBERLANDER, BS, INHC

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

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COVER FEATURE

WITH SUMMER ON THE HORIZON, THERE’S NO BETTER TIME TO TAKE ON THIS REWARDING—AND NOURISHING—PASTIME. Growing up, I always longed to be surrounded by greenery. I would flip through home magazines, ogling over homes that were situated on luscious sprawling lawns. I remember wishing to see trees and grass outside my bedroom window. I was a suburb girl at heart, growing up in the gray, concrete city. Fast-forward two decades and change. Thanks to hashgachah and siyatta diShmaya, my husband and I took a leap of faith and bought a house in a suburban area. There was no looking back.

Upon our move, I found myself living the actualization of a childhood dream. Our home is situated on an acre-plus of property, right off a forest that is home to deer, fox, and many other beautiful forest animals. It’s been six years, but my heart still leaps with joy every morning anew when I walk into my kitchen and meet the view I’d wished for all those years of my youth.

Living in this suburban environment (I wouldn’t call it rural just yet!) has me raising kids who are super attuned to nature—literally, frolicking in the sun, shoeless and sockless, soaking in what nature has to offer. Yes, we have chickens laying our eggs every morning and a veggie and herb patch we rely on for our produce and herbs. As I write this article, an image comes to mind of my son, barefoot, arms laden with fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, and other produce, bouncing into our kitchen on sunny summer mornings. How much joy is in those moments when they reap the benefits of their labor of love.

I’d love to help make it happen at your place too!

Why a Veggie Patch?

Organic produce is enjoying a lot of hype these days, and not for no reason. Organic produce contains almost no pesticides, chemicals, and preservatives, making this an ideal choice for our families. The caveat is that organic produce comes along with a steep price tag. So why not grow it on your own?

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Planting a vegetable patch may seem daunting, especially if you don’t believe you have a green thumb. But it doesn’t have to be. If you live in an urban area, you might also find it hard to plant you own produce because you simply don’t have a stretch of green to grow it in. That, too, doesn’t have to get in the way of this rewarding and nourishing pastime. Personally, I grew vegetables in my miniature Brooklyn backyard in individual pots for years, and we absolutely loved what we did and enjoyed the produce immensely.

Besides for the nourishing results of a planting experience, I also love how it really helps children connect to the earth and nature. Encouraging them to rake, seed, weed, and wait exercises a variety of critical skills. They learn what patience actually means. They want to see the fruits of their hard work, but it’s a process. Growing veggies helps a child cultivate an appreciation for delayed gratitude, since it’s a waiting game. They also also learn responsibility, as tending to a garden takes time and care.

Until I installed an official sprinkler system on a timer, my children had to water the patch daily. This required work, teambuilding, and skill.

With skill-building this incredible, and then delicious, wholesome rewards to show for it, who wouldn’t want to give veggie growing a try?

How to Start?

Here’s what you’ll need to get started: • Raised garden bed/planter pots: If you have your own outdoor space, such as a backyard, you can build your own raised garden bed by purchasing wooden planks and blocks from a home improvement store like Home Depot. You can make the vegetable garden as big or as small as you like, depending on your available space. If you don’t have a large outdoor space but you have a small porch or stoop, you can plant each vegetable in its own pot. Buy the size pots that work best for your space.

The fruits of our family’s labor

• Cardboard boxes: Once your garden bed is assembled, place some cardboard boxes on top of the existing grass/ soil to kill the current grass or weeds and prevent them from growing into your vegetable patch.

• Soil: Now you’re ready to fill your garden bed with good quality soil and fertilizer. Purchase soil and fertilizer at Home Depot or Lowe’s. (Make sure your soil mix consists of 75% topsoil/gardening soil and 25% mushroom soil/cow manure.)

• Vegetable plants: Here’s the fun part—select what you want to grow.

I’ve had great experience with all the plants listed below, but the choice is yours. Grow some or grow all: various types of peppers such as jalapeño peppers, ghost peppers, mini peppers, bell peppers in different colors; cucumbers; many types of tomatoes, including cherry tomatoes, roma tomatoes, and beef tomatoes. You can also try sugar snap peas, eggplants, and strawberries. During the summer months, I incorporate almost all these veggies in dips for our Shabbos meal. Yes, these veggies go a long way.

• How to plant: Allot 2 feet of space between every veg-

etable you plant. Dig a hole as deep as the pot the plant came in and gently insert the mini vegetable plant. Secure the plant by moving the soil back around the plant.

• Water: Watering your vegetable patch depends on many variables, including the temperature that day, whether your vegetables are growing in a garden bed or pot, and when it rained last. On most summer days, your patch or pot will need to be watered daily. Inspect the soil to make sure it doesn’t look dry.

• Patience: Now starts the waiting game. Your hard work will pay off. Within a few weeks you’ll start seeing action in your garden!

With summertime easing in, this blessed time of year brings with it the perfect opportunity to get planting. Take the plunge, seeds in hand, and see what this tranquilizing, sensory experience does for you. Very soon, you and your family will get to enjoy the fruits of your labor, in vibrant salads and nourishing soups, all from your labor of love.

But best of all, you’ll realize how nourishing the plants nourishes your own spirit and helps you connect with nature and with yourself, enabling you to revel in the beauty of Hashem’s wondrous world.

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GET PLANTING WITH HERBS

Herbs and spices, which can also be easily grown in your home garden, have been a staple of the human diet for many years. Earlier generations discovered that ingredients like cinnamon, basil, oregano, and garlic could enhance the flavor and taste of meats and veggies, but our ancestors didn’t stop there. Herbs and spices have been used in traditional medicine for years, too, and for good reason. Science is now validating what we’ve known for centuries—that herbs are one of the most potent tools 38

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at our disposal for boosting the immune system. Let’s dive into some of the health benefits of using herbs in our dishes, daily.

1. Boosts Digestion The body naturally produces enzymes, bile, and acid, among other things, to break down your food and extract the nutrients. However, stress, poor sleep, and poor diet can knock your system out of whack. As

many of us know all too well, this can lead to digestive issues like constipation, bloating, and indigestion. Herbs and spices, such as ginger, peppermint, and fennel have been traditionally used to remedy these issues and aid in digestion. Research has begun to back up these practices with data.

One study involving lab rats found that feeding them a spice mix that included turmeric, black pepper, and cumin benefited the digestive system.

The data to date suggests that spices like these aid digestion in two ways:

terol, and triglycerides. But believe it or not, cinnamon is not the only food that offers this amazing benefit. Curcumin—one of the biologically active properties of turmeric—has also been shown to decrease blood glucose levels and may even play a role in preventing diabetes.

3. Improves Brain Function and Memory Certain herbs and spices have even been linked to improved brain function and memory. Rosemary, for example, improves circulation in the body and the brain, which can help enhance concentration and focus.

Researchers have even found that inhaling rosemary oil improves tasks related to thinking, concentration, and memory. A recent study found that volunteers were able to perform various cognitive tasks faster and more accurately when they performed them in a room with a rosemary oil diffuser (see Sidebar). Studies have also shown that cinnamon may help prevent cognitive decline by enhancing insulin sensitivity and reducing plaque buildup in the brain, which is associated with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease. first, by stimulating the liver to produce bile, and second, by stimulating the activity of enzymes responsible for digestion.

2. Balances Blood Sugar Levels Let’s start with a mind-blowing fact. Did you know that cinnamon can help stabilize blood glucose levels and improve blood lipid levels? Researchers think that cinnamon’s impact on blood glucose might be due to its insulin-sensitizing effect. One study found that consuming 1–6 grams of cinnamon per day for 40 days lowered participants’ fasting blood glucose levels, total cholesterol, LDL choles-

4. Contains Anti-Inflammatory Properties Our modern diets and lifestyles have created an environment of chronic inflammation. Inflammation, in turn, is the root cause of many, if not all, chronic conditions. But just because we’re likely to all have some degree of inflammation just by nature of when and where we live, it doesn’t mean we’re helpless. You can reduce inflammation by dealing with common root causes, and eating herbs and spices can help. Herbs and spices such as ginger, garlic, and turmeric all contribute to healthy inflammation levels and support the immune system.

5. Amps the Flavor Profile At the end of the day, our most basic reason for adding herbs and spices to our food is the same reason our ancestors had: they’re a winning combination, jam-packed with both nutrients and flavor. Using herbs and spices like garlic, turmeric, cilantro, parsley, and basil when you cook can turn good-tasting food into great-tasting food. Plus, these ingredients are chock-full of nutrients that provide a host of health benefits, in addition to those already mentioned above: • Antioxidants that help conditions like depression, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, and headaches (oregano) • Cardioprotective, anti-aging, and antimicrobial effects (rosemary, cinnamon) • Phytochemicals that help with lymphatic function (echinacea, astragalus, cilantro, parsley) • Adaptogens that help adapt and balance the response to stress (ginseng, Rhodiola rosea, ashwagandha) Another Bonus: Alleviates Allergy Symptoms Although not on the topic of herbs and spices in our dishes per se, here’s another tidbit in favor of using herbs.

Having thankfully wrapped up allergy season in my house, I can hereby leave my verified review on essential oil diffusers. Two of my children suffered terribly from seasonal allergies this past season. To help them decongest, I purchased an essential oil diffuser on Amazon. I placed the diffuser on their night tables and dropped in different herbal oils, depending on what we were in the mood of smelling. Having a gentle steam of different herbal essential oils wafting through the room all night really alleviated some of their symptoms. We experimented with lavender and peppermint oil, both of which can be derived from herbs.

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COVER FEATURE

DIG IN

WHY YOU SHOULD START PLANTING TODAY In addition to the benefits of planting discussed in the article, here are more reasons to get the seeds and ground ready.

mental health, including depression symptoms, finding that all of them were significantly improved. And those improvements lasted for months after the intervention ended.

1. Increases physical activity If you’re looking for more ways to incorporate exercise into your lifestyle without making it a pain, here’s a great way to do so. A busy day in the garden can be a great form of exercise. While tending a garden, we perform functional movement that mimics whole body exercise. We perform squats and lunges while weeding. Carrying bags of mulch and other supplies works large muscle groups.

Digging, raking and using a push mower can be physically intense activities. Gardening also can improve balance, strength and flexibility.

2. Improves mood Research has shown that simply spending time in the outdoors, especially around plants, reduces cortisol levels (the stress hormone) in many.

The outdoor environment is conducive to deeper breathing, more mindfulness, and a welcome break from high-tech life. A 2007 study found a bacterium in plant soil called mycobacterium vaccae that triggers the release of serotonin, which lifts mood and reduces anxiety.

In a multi-year study published in 2011, people with depression participated in a gardening intervention for 12 weeks. Afterward, researchers measured several aspects of their 40

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3. Improves cognitive functioning Researchers in Korea gave 20-minute gardening activities to people being treated for dementia in an inpatient facility. After the residents had raked and planted in vegetable gardens, researchers discovered increased amounts of some brain nerve growth factors associated with memory in both males and females.

In a 2014 research review, analysts found that horticultural therapy — using gardening to improve mental health — may be an effective treatment for people with dementia.

In fact, in the Netherlands and Norway, people with dementia often participate in groundbreaking Greencare programs, where they spend a large part of the day working on farms and in gardens.

4. Fosters connection The evidence-based benefits on cognitive and emotional health are many, and that’s besides of the physical health benefits of consuming produce in its most natural, untainted form—and then there’s also the fun part. Planting your own garden or veggie patch allows for such fun and connection within the family, as all of you tend to your shared labor of love together. Go for it!

Our new baby chick that joined our egg-laying chicken farm

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BUTTERFLY GARDEN Besides for growing veggies and herbs, our backyard also sports a butterfly garden. Remember the caterpillar experiment your teachers brought to school in kindergarten? We experience that in mass production every spring and summer.

We planted some milkweed and parsley, and that was the start of our butterfly garden. Monarch butterflies (identified as beautiful black and orange butterflies) are attracted to the milkweed and lay their eggs there all season long.

What do we get? Stunning green cocoons that erupt into many beautiful butterflies. Additionally, swallowtail butterflies (identified as black and blue butterflies with pointed wings) are attracted to our parsley bunches and lay their eggs on them all season long. My children and I watch the metamorphosis of every butterfly with bated breath. The nifla’os haBorei leave us spellbound, every day anew.

HOMEMADE PESTO SAUCE I always tell my clients that dredging our proteins in sugar is a true shame. One of the ways I love to prepare my salmon or chicken cutlets is by making my own pesto sauce with my homegrown basil. Even if you don’t grow your own herbs, you can do this too using frozen basil cubes.

Pesto Sauce: Handful fresh basil or 3 frozen basil cubes 3 cloves fresh garlic or 3 frozen garlic cubes ¼ cup olive oil ½ tsp salt Blend with an immersion blender. Pour over fish or chicken cutlets and grill in grill pan or outdoor grill. Pure, natural goodness.

At this point, you can see why functional medicine doctors recommend spices, herbs, and derived supplements as a routine part of preventive care. When we understand that food is medicine, it follows that herbs and spices go a step further—they are super-potent medicine that tastes great, with no “spoonful of sugar” required.

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC, a graduate from Mercy College and IIN, runs her functional medicine-based nutrition practice in Toms River NJ and virtually as well. Shaindy has tracks for teens, nursing and pregnant mothers, women peri/post menopause, and tracks from women suffering from hormonal issues. She can be reached at 347.228.1198 or via her website at www.benefithealthprogram.com Note: Please consult with your halachic authority regarding insect inspection of home-grown produce.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

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SAMPLE

M M MMM

NEW!

Ice cream that fits your taste buds and is free of fat and sugar.

Product of USA

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SAMPLE

By Libby Silberman

Mindfulness for ADHD Part II In this space last month, we met Rikki, a young wife, mother, and creative with ADHD. Her claim to fame here in Sample was that she managed to get off ADHD meds via practicing mindful meditation every day.

Chances are that you were able to identify with Rikki. Perhaps only somewhat; perhaps only some of the

time. However, if you harbor a niggling feeling that you too may have adult ADHD, try this handy adult ADHD self-checker. Of course, this guide should not be used to diagnose yourself or others. Please consult a trusted healthcare professional for further guidance. Also, keep in mind that in most cases, a diagnosis in and of itself doesn’t change the

circumstances. Generally, when the condition doesn’t significantly inhibit productivity or functioning, it can be improved with mindfulness meditations and other techniques that are helpful to all individuals across the board.

(Source: Word Health Organization, Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale [ASRS-v1.1], Symptom Checklist)

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SAMPLE

How often do you have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project once the challenging parts have been done?

How often do you have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organization?

How often do you have trouble remembering appointments or obligations?

When you have to do task that requires a lot of thought, how often do you avoid or delay getting started?

How often do you fidget or squirm with your hands or feet when you have to sit down for a long time?

How often do you feel overly active and compelled to do things, like you were driven by a motor?

Assessment: Complete both parts A and B of the symptoms checklist* by marking an X in the box that most closely represents the frequency of occurrence of each of the symptoms.

Score part A. If four or more marks appear in the darkly shaded boxes within part A, you have symptoms highly consistent with ADHD in adults, and further investigation is warranted.

The frequency scores on part B provide additional cues and can serve as further probes into your symptoms. Pay particular attention to marks appearing in the dark shaded boxes. * Questions representing inattentive symptoms: 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 Questions representing hyperactive or impulsive symptoms: 5, 6, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Functional Impairment: 1. Evaluate the level of impairment associated with your symptom.

2. Consider work, school, social, and family settings.

3. Think of how these problems have affected your ability to work, take care of things at home, or get along with other people such as your spouse.

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Very Often

Often

Sometimes

Rarely

Part A

Never

Please answer the questions below, rating yourself on each of the criteria shown using the scale on the right side of the page. As you answer each question, place an X in the box that best describes how you have felt and conducted yourself over the past 6 months.

Very Often

Often

Sometimes

Rarely

Never

Part B

How often do you make careless mistakes when you have to work on a boring or difficult project?

How often do you have difficulty keeping your attention when you are doing boring or repetitive work?

How often do you have difficulty concentrating on what people say to you, even when they are speaking to you directly?

How often do you misplace or have difficulty finding things at home or at work?

How often are you distracted by activity or noise around you?

How often do you leave your seat in meetings or other situations in which you are expected to remain seated?

How often do you feel restless or fidgety?

How often do you have difficulty unwinding and relaxing when you have time to yourself?

How often do you find yourself talking too much when you are in a social situation?

When you’re in a conversation, how often do you find yourself finishing the sentences of the people you are talking to before they can finish them themselves?

How often do you have difficulty waiting your turn in situations when turn taking is required?

How often do you interrupt others when they are busy?

Childhood History: Assess the presence of these symptoms or similar symptoms in childhood. You need not have been formally diagnosed as a child, but look for evidence of early and persistent problems with your attention or self-control. Some significant symptoms should have been present in childhood, but the full set of symptoms is not necessary.

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SAMPLE

Let It Rain!

Aside from audio-guided mindful meditation, here’s another excellent way to use mindful meditation as a means to relax and reboot. This one’s for non-ADHD adults and ADHD adults alike.

RAIN is an extremely effective technique you can try every day. Our daily lives are a fair mix of emotions: happiness, sadness, disappointment, anger, and excitement, to name just a few. Being able to roll with the punches and to switch from emotion to emotion can be exhausting. Practicing this mindfulness technique is particularly helpful for those who find emotions taxing (among a host of other benefits).

This method has been accredited to meditation teacher Tara Brach, who has been practicing mindful meditation for over 40 years. Here’s a brief roundup.

R: Recognize what’s happening.

Simply notice the emotion is there.

A: Allow it to be just as is.

That means you don’t have to fix the emotion immediately.

I: Investigate.

And I don’t mean the probing “Where did this emotion come from? Why am I feeling this way?” Instead, look at the sensation. Pay attention to it in a curious way. How is my body feeling with this emotion? What associations are coming up? What images and what thoughts surround it? Any memories being triggered?

N: Non-identification, or rest in natural awareness.

This means not taking the emotion personally. Neutralize the emotion by thinking of it as “the anger, the sadness, the fear” instead of “my anger, my sadness, my fear.” By not identifying with these emotions so personally, we can be present and investigate them better.

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Mindfulness for the ADHD Parts in a NonADHD Adult While ADHD is considered an official diagnosis, the truth is that all of us have some ADHD parts within. These are the parts that have a hard time being still and are generally more anxious, often due to emotions that haven’t been processed properly (which is why meditation and inner work is so helpful to everyone, especially individuals with ADHD).

In preparation for installment 2 of this Sample, I sent two mindfulness audio tracks to five non-ADHD adults to try for a couple of days. The results? Those Samples who took it seriously absolutely loved this experiment.

One of the members said it was too hard to focus and let go during a busy day, but she could tell that had she been more cooperative and focused, it would have been incredibly rejuvenating in the middle of the day.

Another participant also used the word “rejuvenating” in her report, describing how listening to the mindfulness was a sort of reset button to her day. It slowed her breathing—“We don’t even realize how we hold our breath on stressful days,” she shared—and helped her relax and reboot.

Two participants mentioned energy and relaxation.

Four out of five totally loved the experience but most of them were doubtful they would maintain it long term, “just because I don’t know if I’ll make the time when no one is pushing me for it.”

The general consensus was that yes, this works. It helps the ADHD parts in every individual relax, focus, reenergize, and feel better.

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SAMPLE

It Worked for Them, but Not for Me Answering the Why At Sample’s birthday party, we presented this question to you. Some excellent replies came in from readers, and I’m happy to share them with you.

Q: I get convinced about different health modalities I read in Sample or in Wellspring. Excited, I book an appointment with the craniosacral therapist, the reflexologist, or the chiropractor. I attend the appointment and religiously do what they advise, showing up to follow-up appointments, taking supplements, and doing exercises.

And then, nothing. Nada. No results at all. Only I’m a thousand dollars poorer.

How can it be that some modalities work for some people, and they don’t work for others trying to treat the very same issue?

Is there any way we can predict the outcome before we try?

B. P. You ask a good question, and I think that many of us can relate.

With all the truth, info, and research available, there’s absolutely no way to know in advance.

Aside from davening and doing research, it’s not in your hands. The only thing you can do is ask the practitioner after how many sessions she expects to see results by, and if that many sessions pass without results, make sure to speak up and ask if you should keep going. If the practitioner urges you to keep trying, ask questions, such as to understand the process better, how many sessions, why it works, etc.

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M. L. I can relate to this question. It’s all in the hands of Hashem, but here’s the hishtadlus I do.

1. I get informed about various modalities by asking around and reading articles. I look out for specific ways the modality helps.

2. I research practitioners. I only consult with someone who’s known to be very honest, with a solid track record.

3. I question the practitioner thoroughly before starting, inquiring about her particular experience with the issue I’m trying to treat and how many sessions it will require. I remain on top of the practitioner and don’t shy away from asking questions throughout.

4. I daven!

Lots of hatzlachah in finding the right shlichim to help you.

Esther S. There’s no clear answer to this question, but I can share what worked for me, in terms of achieving peace of mind regardless of results. It has been life-changing for me to work on internalizing emunah and bitachon, the knowledge that Hashem is with me, loves me, and whatever I’m going through right now is for my ultimate good.

After that comes tefillah, thanking Him for the nisayon (even if I’m not actually feeling too much gratitude at that moment), and asking Him to heal me so I can serve Him with more menuchas hanefesh and simchah, and be able to keep doing more for my family and Klal Yisrael.

Next, while keeping in mind that while He’s the only source of healing, He requires us to do hishtadlus, I seek the modality that both speaks to me and seems to have a good track record in terms of positive results. Before beginning treatment, I have a conversation with the practitioner to see if she feels I’m a good candidate for her modality. An ideal practitioner will always bring Hashem into the picture, saying with genuine conviction that she’s only a shaliach, while giving over the feeling she has what it takes to help, besiyatta diShmaya.

Most important, before going to each appointment, I try to put myself in the mindset that I’m in His hands, He’s the only healer, and I’m now only going through the motions of hishtadlus to do His will. I then say a kapitel Tehillim or a short tefillah in my own words asking Him to heal me. If or when I see positive results, I try to thank Hashem before thanking the person who was a worthy shaliach.

This is not to say that if you weren’t helped and others were it’s an indication that their bitachon was greater. I just found that doing the above helped me minimize the frustration I felt when treatment was unsuccessful, as I can identify with you in your question.

I heard during a shiur from Rabbi Shalom Mordechai Rubashkin that when a person attributes everything to Hashem, they’re more likely to be helped, since Hashem sees there’s no danger of them distancing themselves from Him by thinking, “Kochi ve’otzem yadi”—that I did “a-b-c,” and “it” worked.

Due to an error in the deadline printed in a past call for Samples, we once again open the doors to Gratitude Take2, a fun experiment for those who can handle some unconventional work. Email libby@wellspringmagazine.com by June 25 to be included.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

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CUP OF TEA

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Cup of Tea with

Dr. Yael Tusk, DACM Dr. Yael Tusk, DACM

OCCUPATION: Doctor of traditional Chinese medicine, specializing in pediatrics and fertility

LOCATION: Yerushalayim PASSION: Seeking out the truth and using that knowledge to empower people to make better health and life decisions.

SHE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW: To never make decisions out of fear.

By Esther Retek WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

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I

CUP OF TEA

In preparation for this article, I perused Dr. Yael Tusk’s book, Health: A Natural Approach, Take Charge of Your Health, to get a better feel for the health personality I was about to interview. In her best-selling book, Yael discusses basic healing remedies for common health issues, and I came away with a trove of nuggets regarding alternative healing. But it was actually meeting Yael that gave me a much deeper glimpse into not only her breadth of knowledge on a subject that so many are confounded by, but also of her gentle approach, which makes all the difference in regards to healing.

In my conversation with Yael, whose effervescence exhibits through every aspect of her being, from her sense of humor to her energetic demeanor, I was immediately struck by the contrast between her calm, approachable nature and the depth of knowledge and expertise conveyed in her writing.

In alternative healing circles, Dr. Yael Tusk is recognized as a competent doctor with over 15 years of experience and expertise. Yael’s knowledge is extensive and broad, but more laudatory than her breadth is the depth with which she pursues every health topic. “I’ve made it my business to research and investigate every subject I am led to. I can’t even help myself,” Yael chuckles—and our ensuing conversation proves that she means it in earnest.

What led Yael down this road not taken? “It’s a question people have been asking me for the last twenty years, but I don’t have an answer. I have no idea what spurred me to take a step into this unfamiliar territory. My upbringing was open-minded, but also conventional and not very health conscious. I grew up with soda and candy all week long. I even remember feeling sorry for my cousins who only had soda on Shabbos, while we had it all week. Conventional medicine was also part of my upbringing. Doctors’ visits and medicine were commonplace. The one time my parents did give alternative medicine a try, it didn’t work out well.”

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Paradoxically, Yael remembers her father’s mother, originally from Germany, being very well-read particularly in the field of natural health. “We thought she was a little nutty because she was so natural minded. Her house always smelled of herbal oils, and we found it really funny. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and look through her library, have a conversation with her about these topics, and gain from the wisdom she had. Whenever I come across some really shocking research, I always wonder if she already knew about that.”

Of course, Yael’s family eventually joined her journey toward a more wholesome life. “My mother, particularly, served as my partner on this journey. As I didn’t have access to the internet during many years of my research, she would email me whatever information I needed, and subsequently learn the material as well. This led her to discover a whole new world of health and wellbeing, which she embraced as I did. Later, my father jumped onto the bandwagon as well.”

Yael asserts that having family on board, especially one’s spouse, makes the journey all the more pleasant. “I encounter couples in which one is more conventional and the other more natural and that can be a cause of serious friction.”

With her own leap of faith, Yael took a plunge into Chinese medicine without any former background in health

and alternative healing. “In the beginning, I kept looking out for any discrepancies, baloney, and lies. I was very skeptical and wondered whether I’d made the right decision turning to this field. Baruch Hashem, within the first few years of my schooling, I learned the truth of Chinese medicine, especially as we practiced in the school’s clinic and experienced unbelievable results. My validation finally came after I witnessed so many patients benefit from acupuncture. Also, Chinese medical theory is very logical.

Everything made a lot of sense, even to the skeptic I was.”

While studying, Yael had her own experience with acupuncture, which further strengthened her belief in the modality. “As part of our practice, my colleague inserted a pin in a spot on my foot where I suffered from chronic pain. As she was implementing the treatment, I felt the pain shoot from the place and dissipate,” Yael shares. It was a simple incident, but one that left an indelible impression on the incredulous student she was.

The years of schooling were a massive undertaking, as Chinese medicine is very deep and extensive. “Had I known what the studies required, I probably wouldn’t have jumped into it so eagerly. I thought it would be similar to any graduate school, but I was quite shocked,” Yael admits.

In the process, she learned some Chinese and Latin, as well as memorized hundreds of acupuncture points and

functions, among other information. “Unlike many conventional learning programs, however, almost everything I learned in those five years is relevant to my day-to-day practice. I feel blessed that whatever I learned is so relevant to my work and was worth its time.”

Chinese Medicine: A Brief Overview What is traditional Chinese medicine? “The medicine of China,” Yael quips. Her sense of humor throughout our meeting is so refreshing, and as she’s running a clinic that encounters the gamut of health struggles, the patients certainly appreciate this very much.

“Here’s a definition,” she continues. “It’s the advanced and organized system of medicine that evolved over several thousand years. It’s probably the oldest organized school of medicine, but that’s not to say it’s some ancient abracadabra. The medicine is built upon principles they discovered by observing nature and the human body. The organized system is also based on millennia of clinical experience and practice.”

What about illnesses that are a recent phenomenon?

“Chinese medicine has developed protocols to treat newer diseases such as autoimmune diseases.”

Yael further elaborates that when people come to see her as a last resort after years of trying different modalities, she’s usually hesitant to treat them. Although Chinese med-

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CUP OF TEA

icine is a more comprehensive, all-inclusive treatment modality, it’s not magic and doesn’t work for everything, especially not extremely stubborn conditions that have already been through the whole gamut. “At least not in just a few sessions,” Yael adds. “Stubborn, chronic conditions generally require prolonged treatment, if they can be helped at all.”

According to Yael, the success rate in her practice is quite high, especially with people who come in with an unadulterated condition.

“When people come in with a ‘clean slate, before having tried dozens of other treatments, they are much easier to treat. Most people don’t have just one simple problem, and I like treating conditions by addressing the many layers. It means we can celebrate small successes as symptoms gradually improve. The hardest is if they’ve already had years and years of treatments. Those are the patients I find most difficult to help.”

On a deeper level, Chinese medicine is based on the principles of balancing the body’s energy, known as Qi (pronounced “chee”), and restoring harmony between the body, mind, and spirit. “I wrote a lot more extensively about the theories and principles of Chinese medicine in my upcoming book,” Yael shares.

“According to Chinese medicine, illness is caused by imbalances in the body’s energy.

Yin and yang have a pivotal role in Chinese medicine and are used to understand the body’s balance and health. Chinese theory understands that the world is made up of complementary and opposing forces, known as yin and yang. Yin represents the feminine, dark, passive, and cold aspects, while yang represents the masculine, bright, active, and warm aspects,” she explains.

In the human body, yin and yang are constantly in a state of flux, and an imbalance can lead to illness. For example, too much yang energy in the body can lead to fever, inflammation, and overactivity, while too little yang can result in coldness, lethargy, and sluggishness, as yin becomes dominant. Maintaining a balance between yin and yang is key to achieving good health and preventing disease.

“I use yin and yang to diagnose and treat illnesses. For example, if a patient presents with symptoms of excess heat, such as a fever, red eyes, and a rapid pulse, I can tell that this is a condition of excess yang energy, and I use acupuncture points to rebalance the body’s 56

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“Fever is not something to fear. I always encourage mothers to use their intuition instead of the thermometer.”

energy. Some conditions can be a combination of excess and deficiency.

“A lot of diseases you wouldn’t associate with ‘excess’ are called toxicity in Chinese medicine. Infection is often associated with heat toxicity. It took me time to wrap my head around this concept, that infection means toxicity. However, the more I work with illnesses of this nature, the more these theories make sense. Even according to modern science the understanding that toxicity can cause infection has been proven. Over the years, I realized that there are many parallels between what we know intuitively and what Chinese medicine teaches.”

These imbalances can be corrected through various treatments that many people have heard of but may not understand, including acupuncture, herbal medicine, and cupping, as well as dietary therapy, Gua Sha (Chinese massage therapy) and physical exercises.

In layman’s terms, what is acupuncture?

“Acupuncture involves the insertion of fine needles at specific points along the meridians, or energy pathways, in the body to stimulate the flow of energy and promote healing. These communication pathways reach every organ in the body, like telephone lines. The aspect I love about acupuncture is that it’s a very gentle, self-healing method. It stimulates the body to heal itself. It’s a way to tell the body what needs to be done to facilitate healing.”

Yael mentions another treatment Chinese medicine employs that’s on the rise now and that she uses a lot in her practice—cupping.

The practice involves placing cups made of glass, bamboo, or other materials on the skin and creating a vacuum to draw the skin and underlying tissue into the cup. This suction is created either by heating the air inside the cup (by lighting a fire) or by using a mechanical pump to remove the air.

According to Yael, cupping promotes the flow of energy and blood in the body and helps remove toxins and blockages from the body’s tissues. It is often used to treat conditions such as muscle pain, back pain, and respiratory disorders.

“What’s unique about cupping is that by first creating that vacuum, it can really open up tight spaces in a way that nothing else can.

Even a good massage can’t release the tension in muscles that cupping can.

“And of course, there’s herbal medicine. In

one line, Chinese herbal medicine uses natural substances such as plants, minerals, and animal products to treat various conditions. Herbal medicine can be very broadly applied, and is therefore very popular. I specialize in acupuncture and herbal medicine and love combining both.”

Yael emphasizes that in Chinese medicine, ideally, herbal treatments need to be customized to the individual and not generically prescribed. “The formula needs to be built like a cocktail, unique to an individual’s situation. I spend at least an hour examining and talking to every new patient.

“The most important differentiator between Chinese and Western medicine is that Chinese medicine is based on a holistic approach, which means that the whole person is considered in the diagnosis and treatment of illness, rather than just the specific symptoms or isolated organs. When a client comes in with a Western diagnosis, in Chinese medicine, we would call this the ‘chief complaint.’ This is the problem they’re coming with, not a diagnosis. From that point of departure, we then figure out a diagnosis. In Chinese medicine, a diagnosis is the underlying pattern, which is a complex process.”

Yael says that some clients feel much better simply after talking for an hour and discussing their physical issues. For some, it’s the first opportunity they’ve had to just get it all out. “For example, a patient comes to me with a fertility issue and mentions that she also has chronic low back pain. She’ll ask me if they’re related because when she asked her doctor, he discounted a connection. In Chinese medicine, however, every symptom is considered before forming a diagnosis. Chronic back pain is a common sign of kidney deficiency, which is also strongly connected with fertility.”

So many clients Yael encounters arrive exasperated and frustrated, and Yael’s clinic becomes their haven for comfort and encouragement. “They know something’s wrong with their body, that something’s not functioning right, but no conventional doctor has ever put it together for them. Clients usually leave my practice feeling validated. ‘Everything I feel and experience matters.’

There’s a reason why they feel cold all the time, or why their hair is falling out. I also often find that people really have deep insights into what they’re experiencing.

When I ask them when the pain started, if they can think why it started, I often get very telling responses.”

Yael’s passion as she speaks evokes just that empowerment that she imbues her clients with. It’s her belief in every one of them that makes all the difference in their healing journey, encouraging them to look inward to find healing there.

With all the information and knowledge Yael presents, the title “doctor” befits her. Does she feel like one? “In that people come to my clinic to work on their health

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CUP OF TEA

Has Your Doctor Earned Your Trust?

Excerpt from Health: A Natural Approach by Dr. Yael Tusk How does a healthcare provider earn your trust? It should have nothing to do with the number of letters after their name, nor the impressiveness of the organizations that they are members of. It should definitely not come from a perceived intellectual superiority.

The following criteria may help you find a medical practitioner with whom you can have a trusting relationship.

• He respects your opinion and trusts your knowledge of yourself and your body. He also respects your preference for treatment or lack thereof. He understands that the final medical decision is yours and yours alone. He aims for individualized care, with the patient’s best interest as the central focus.

• He fully understands and is able to explain the benefits and risks of any treatment or diagnostic procedure offered.

• First, do no harm: He never offers treatments that are more harmful than the disease.

• Doctor’s orders: Why are doctors giving orders? Doctors are service providers; they are here to improve your health. Choose a doctor who advises without expecting blind obedience, not one who commands.

Treatment is never given without the patient’s consent. He does not employ coercive tactics such as guilt, fear, or intellectual superiority to gain compliance.

• He has thoroughly reviewed and is actually knowledgeable of the potential side effects of any treatment, and never discounts side effects that the patient is experiencing.

• He is open to learning new ideas and not just from the pharmaceutical complex or the medical authorities and experts, but from everywhere, even and especially from his own patients. He is constantly seeking to uncover the truth, and is not simply following the rules blindly.

issues, definitely. In the way I treat them? I couldn’t be more different than a conventional doctor.”

Search for Truth Yael’s relentless pursuit of the truth stands out as a hallmark of her character. Her book is primarily a compilation of her research on commonly accepted health notions with a deeper exploration.

“The book developed organically. I was writing a column on common health myths for a magazine and developed a nice amount of content.” Considering it was generally very well received by the readership, her editor suggested that she pitch it as a book.

“I never wanted to take someone else’s opinion and espouse it as my own, because maybe they’re wrong,” Yael says emphatically. And admittedly, it was her desire to help every one of her clients that led her to this intense research. “I simply wanted to help them with every issue.”

This led her to dig into every subject until she felt confident to form her own opinion. “These days I still research often, but if I don’t feel confident in my understanding of a given topic, I’ve learned the beauty of telling clients, ‘I don’t know’ or ‘It’s a topic I’m not familiar with.’”

Her journey led her to discover some fascinating and 58

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shocking information. After years of research, Yael has the confidence to debunk common health myths such as breakfast is the most important meal, fever is a dangerous thing, or that whole grains are healthiest.

Yael is never discouraged or blinded by what is considered standard, and she isn’t scared to take a leap and lift the cover on what many people would prefer believing.

“Exploring the extent of the whole grain myth was probably the most shocking for me. For years, my family subsisted primarily on whole grains as I too believed that this variety was the healthiest option. After years of hearing hints that something might be awry with whole grains, I eventually began to explore this subject in depth. Shocked by what I read, I continued my search for the truth and uncovered some surprising information.”

More than learning about whole grains, Yael comments that she learned the importance of conducting proper research before accepting something as one’s personal belief.

“Also, don’t accept any treatment because you are being pressured with warnings of the dire consequences that will occur if you do not. The treatment itself must have clear and demonstrable personal benefits. If a treatment’s only justification is the danger of not accepting it, this is a good time to take a step back and examine all your options

carefully,” Yael cautions. “Barring a genuine life-threatening emergency, where every second counts, in most situations, making informed decisions is how you will retain your autonomy.”

Doctor in the House As her book’s title suggests, Yael has a passion for helping parents treat their children’s basic health issues with common household remedies. She’s given many workshops on the topic and seeks to educate women whenever she has the opportunity. “For my own children—one son and many daughters,” Yael shares in her distinctive animated voice, “I literally schedule their acupuncture appointments as I do for others. They love the sessions and I’ve found that if I don’t book them, they don’t happen.” Yael’s children are proud of their Mommy and often demonstrate their own commitment to health.

“When schools were pushing us to put some of our children on Ritalin, and we instead chose an alternative route to deal with our children’s strong personalities, my children appreciated the effort we invested to avoid medicating them, instead fine-tuning their health and wellbeing.

One child in particular thanked us for our efforts after watching a friend’s suffering while on medication.”

Yael has a wealth of knowledge that she employs all the time in her home, but she emphasizes that all of us can expertly care for our children, as long as we learn some basics and keep our calm. “There is an entire repertoire of resources and remedies we can access to treat basic problems.”

She describes fever as an example. “Fever is not something to fear. I always encourage mothers to use their intuitions instead of a thermometer. It’s not about the temperature, but rather about the child’s temperament. A child who’s hot but acting himself wouldn’t be cause for serious concern as much as a child who’s acting out of character. Lethargy and listlessness are greater indicators than the numbers.”

Yael adds a word of caution regarding using cooling methods to bring down a fever. “Bringing fever down at all costs can be a dangerous game, especially if ice is used.

Listen to your sick child. His body knows what it needs to fight the disease and will tell you if it’s uncomfortable.

Cooling off in a bath is great, but only if the child is comfortable doing so. Never torture a child to bring down a fever.” So what does she suggest for a sick child? “Keep them home and give them some TLC. Make them comfortable, give them enough fluids, especially broth. And hold them against your body. Physical contact is so important.”

For bruises as well, Yael is also wary of placing ice on the wound. “Instead, a friend, who’s also a noted kinesiologist, once advised me to rub the bruise gently forty times. The physical touch is so powerful and healing. Just last week, I banged myself badly while on a bus that stopped short. I rubbed the area immediately, which provided instant relief.”

Ancient Wisdom, Modern Success The proof is in the pudding. For Yael, the continuous success stories are what keep her going. In her 15 years of experience, she has seen—and helped—hundreds of patients in her clinic or via phone or Zoom.

Considering her specialty in pediatrics and fertility, Yael has amassed a collection of success stories. Just as we conclude our interview, she receives another heartwarming call from one of her patients with good news to share regarding the results of her fertility treatments. Women preparing for birth are also high up on Yael’s “favorite patients” list. The birth stories Yael tells are surprising and entertaining. “There are the many mothers who were being pressured with an induction who thankfully went into labor shortly after receiving acupuncture, or the woman who finally had a healthy pregnancy after several consecutive miscarriages.”

Yael shares some more success stories of children with constipation, weak digestive systems, weak immune systems, and other medical concerns. “An exasperated mother once came to see me with a baby that had no appetite.

After a thorough examination it was clear that his digestive system was terribly backed up, so there was no room for food.” After receiving the appropriate treatment, the baby was able to empty his bowels and soon began eating normally. As an addendum to the story, Yael mentions that children and adults alike should have at least one bowel movement a day to properly clear their system.

Yael remembers another baby who was severely developmentally delayed. “He looked much younger than his age. He was in such a weakened state that I was nervous to treat him. In the end, we treated him with acupuncture and some other modalities, and the results were immediate.” Each story leaves Yael motivated to continue the work she does despite the challenges she often faces.

As she recounts her stories, Yael points out that she often doesn’t know the success stories because they are simply not told to her. “Patients are happy to be treated, but often forget to relay the success to the practitioner. I can meet patients a few months after treatments and they’ll comment, ‘Oh, I forgot to let you know I’m finally expecting,’ or ‘I went into labor immediately,’ or ‘The constipation abated.’ If you go to a practitioner and see results, it would be so kind to let them know. Our patients are on our mind!

We are trying to help you and have no way to know if you’ve seen results, and so we really appreciate getting the feedback,” Yael advises.

While this is a good piece of advice, I can’t help but wonder if Yael is a one-of-a-kind practitioner who invests herself fully into the wellbeing of her patients. It’s obvious that her approach to healing is unique, and that her methods are driven by a deep desire to make a difference in the lives of those she treats.

Note: Wellspring does not endorse or promote the views expressed by interviewees in this column.

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SERIAL DIARY

are we

there yet?

As told to Libby Silberman

by Malky Sapir

Recap: Remarried and with a new baby, Malky continues to navigate her changed status along with juggling life as a mother of a child with severe CP.

Baby Yitzy is already swimming on the floor, babbling, and even starting to sit up. My heart swells with joy when I look at him, growing and advancing steadily. At 11 months old, he’s already surpassed his sister five years his senior by many milestones.

What a new reality this is for me.

I bumped into an old neighbor the other day. We’d lived near each other during my first marriage and single days.

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“How are you? How are things?” she inquired. “How’s your baby treating you? Is he a difficult baby?”

I almost laughed out loud. “No, nothing is difficult about him. He’s the most delicious baby ever!” Teething and crying are simple joys that I’m relishing after having gone through such a challenging first-time parenthood.

It’s mind-boggling to notice how with Batsheva, I invested and invest every shred of my being in her development,

CHAPTER 7 yet I see so little reward for my efforts. With Yitzy, it’s hardly any effort and all reward.

And how is Batsheva handling all of this joy over Yitzy?

I think I’ve mastered this—for now. I involve her in his care and put her “in charge” as much as possible, and she’s thrilled—for now. I also try “sharing the nachas” by informing her of every milestone he meets, and she’s genuinely happy for him although she’s unable to do the same.

Truthfully, I’m finally feeling like a mother. I used to feel awfully guilty during my first time-parenthood. My experience was so unlike other people’s experiences. I couldn’t relate to anything other mothers said or did, and I was sensitive, angry, and jealous. * On Pesach, we were eating a meal at my parents’ home a couple of blocks away from ours. My mother had invited several grandchildren who are around Batsheva’s age, thinking it would foster friendship among the kids.

To my dismay—but not surprise—the kids went to the playroom to play themselves. Resolutely, I brought Batsheva to the playroom.

“What part can Batsheva have in your skit?” I blurted out before I caught the long glances they were exchanging.

“Okay, she can be the kid. I’ll be her mother,” said one noble cousin.

I groped for the exit, tears welling up hot and angry. The kids didn’t really want her. They were trying to be “nice” to her. She’d never part of the chevreh, part of anything.

ment was so perfectly natural, not like he was speaking to a “special needs” child. I came to a most ironic conclusion. Here was a product from a “broken” home, yet he was the one who was so whole, so sensitive, so accepting.

And, sadly, products of picture-perfect homes can often be judgmental, cruel, and plain obtuse.

A therapist at a support group recently shared this great quote: “I’d rather raise a special-needs child than a child who is cruel to special-needs children.”

While whether it’s true or not remains to be debated, for me, it was soothing. At least I don’t need to worry about my daughter saying or doing anything insensitive to others, given her disabilities. * A couple of weeks ago, we were at my parents again for the Friday night seudah. Again, my mother had invited my young nieces—honestly, to my chagrin. I had neither the emotional energy to ask my nieces to play with Batsheva, nor the physical energy to leave the table and carry her to the playroom, and then sit and play with her.

Batsheva started whining, and when I turned to her, she indicated the playroom. She wanted to play! Feeling depleted, I said to her, “Maybe later, not now.” Soon, her cries escalated to howling.

I felt so helpless, so drained. I wanted to eat, to chat with my family. I absolutely did not want to play with her at that moment. But she wanted to, and she couldn’t do it without me.

Of course, my nieces weren’t intentionally excluding Batsheva. However, and I admit I understand it, it’s challenging for healthy kids to play regular kid games with a handicapped friend. I’ve had my fair share of painful incidents to know how hard it is for those kids to grasp Batsheva’s circumstances.

The guilt consumed me as always and I felt sick. It was either being a good mommy/sacrificing my meal or bad mommy/enjoying my much-needed time together with family. Would I always have to choose between this rock and the hard place?

“Why doesn’t she walk?” asked a young kid standing behind us in the supermarket the other day.

Batsheva wasn’t crying to me. She was crying to Hashem. She was hurting that she couldn’t play with the other children. This was painful for her and as much as I wished to help her, there was only so much I could do.

“Because she can’t walk,” I replied.

“So why don’t you teach her?” the child asked. The comment was so adorably innocent, but it triggered within me the guilt over all the things I don’t do for my daughter. These exchanges are everyday occurrences – some are more intentional than others.

A nine-year-old neighbor from a troubled background once approached the playground bench where I was sitting with Batsheva. “Your glasses are adorable!” he said, looking directly at my immobile daughter. “Where are they from?”

I nearly fell off the bench in astonishment. His com-

Sitting there, contemplating, a thought occurred to me.

I left the table and knelt down at Batsheva’s side, whispering in her ear, “I feel so bad for you, sweetie. You want to play with your cousins, and you can’t. It must be so hard for you.”

The switch in my own brain was so meaningful, and to her, it was so validating. I wasn’t the mean mommy anymore. I was on her side, crying right along with her.

TO BE CONTINUED… WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

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Make it a

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HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE 2 STRATEGIES FOR IMPROVING COORDINATION SKILLS

OT@HOME

Left, Right, Left

by Miriam Frankel, OT

2 strategies to help improve your child’s coordination skills

If your child exhibits poor coordination, this issue probably impacts their everyday life and often those around him. They may have a tendency to frequently knock objects off the table, spill beverages at mealtime, or have difficulty playing sports at recess with friends or making simple dance moves to a rhythm.

Many parents seek help when their child’s coordination is not up to par, but they may not always be eligible for therapy. This can be extremely frustrating for a parent who wants to help their child.

Here are 2 strategies you can use at home to help improve your child’s coordination skills:

Practice activities using both sides of the body.

If your child has difficulty with jumping jacks, jumping rope, or even walking or running without stumbling, they may struggle to coordinate both sides of the body in an organized fashion. Encourage activities that use both sides of the body, including the following: a) Pushing or pulling a box, laundry basket, or a sheet with a heavy toy or sibling on it, with both hands. b) Jumping through a hoop or over sticks, keeping their feet together. c) Walking around the house or garden while winding thread around a spool.

Enhance your child’s understanding of direction.

Children who struggle with poor coordination often have a poor awareness of direction and discerning the difference between right and left-laterality.

The good news is that these skills can be improved. Instead of simply pointing to your child’s shoes under the table and telling him, “Your shoes are there. Go and get them,” you may want to say, “Your shoes are under the table, near your chair.” When the child responds by looking in that direction, or better yet, retrieving the shoes from under the table, their awareness of direction is being stimulated.

When telling your child to put on their shoes, rather than simply instructing them, “Put on your shoes,” it would be more beneficial to say, “Put on your right shoe first, and then your left shoe.” This will get them thinking about right and left, and repeated scenarios such as these will help to assist your child’s lateral coordination.

While you may find your child’s clumsiness irritating, there are steps you can take to alleviate the challenge from the comfort of your home. Plus, you can get the whole family involved in any of these exercises to create an enjoyable afternoon of movement activities.

Miriam (Manela) Frankel OTR/L is a mental health occupational therapist, founder of the online platform ChildrenBloom.com, and The Thrive Group, with offices in Brooklyn and Passaic. ChildrenBloom.com provides toolkits for parents and educators to deal with struggling children. Miriam is the author of The Parent-Child Dance and an international speaker.

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ALL NATURAL

NO HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP

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TAP IN

TAP IN

by Gila Glassberg, RDN, CDN, Certified Intuitive Eating Coach

QUESTION

I’ve been following the column here on Intuitive Eating, and many of the concepts sound smart and effective. I especially like the idea of not having to feel deprived yet still eating healthy foods. Having gone around the block and back and wanting to find a path that is effective for me, here’s my question: Does Intuitive Eating work for everyone?

ANSWER

In order to answer your question, we’d first have to define what it means for it to “work.” Generally, when people ask me if the Intuitive Eating approach works, they’re asking one of two questions.

The first is whether they will lose weight with Intuitive Eating. The answer to that question is that Intuitive Eating is not about weight loss. It is specifically about removing the focus of weight loss as the be all and end all of our lives.

Then there is the second kind of question: Can everyone learn to listen to their hunger and fullness cues even after years of ignoring them? Can everyone benefit from being kind to their body and doing what works for them? The answer to that is a resounding yes, with very few exceptions (for example, individuals with an active eating disorder, who are usually too far removed from bodily cues like hunger and fullness).

And so, if your question is whether Intuitive Eating will eventually lead to weight loss, while the technical answer may be yes, because a big part of this approach is about listening to our own cues and differentiating between physical and other hunger, taking on the approach with this goal usually doesn’t lend itself to positive results.

Everyone else, which is most of society, can certainly benefit from Intuitive Eating, assuming they are ready to work on getting rid of the fantasy of weight loss, really embracing their genetic blueprint, and working on the other principles such as hunger/fullness/satisfaction and making peace with food.

Have questions about the Intuitive Eating approach? Send them to info@wellspringmagazine.com and Gila will be glad to answer them in this space.

Gila Glassberg is a Master's level registered dietitian and a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food, but now that she has found food freedom through the process of Intuitive Eating, she's eager to share its wisdom with others. Gila works privately with clients and she also presents workshops. The name of her podcast is Get INTUIT with Gila, and she writes blog entries on her website, www.gilaglassberg.com. She can be reached at 570-878-3642.

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‫‪• R‬‬

‫סטעף ווערט ‡נ‚עפירט „ורך‬ ‫‡ונזער העכסט‪-‬‬ ‫פר‡פעסי‡נ‡לע „ירע˜ט‡ר‬

‫• ‪OL‬‬

‫‪THE‬‬

‫‪UP‬‬

‫‪THE G‬‬

‫‪THE‬‬

‫‪PO‬‬

‫‚ע˘מ‡˜׳ן‬ ‫פ‡רברענ‚‬

‫„י בעסט ‡ון העכסט‬ ‫ˆו‚ע˘טעלטע ˜עמפ‬ ‫פ‡ר העכער‪-‬פונ˜ˆי‡נירנ„ע‬ ‫מיי„לעך ‡ין עלטער פון ‪ 12‬י‡ר ‡ון העכער‬

‫‡ ‚ע˘מ‡˜ע פר‡‚ר‡ם ‡ונטער „י‬ ‫‚עטרייע פירער˘‡פט פון ‡ונזער‬ ‫ערפ‡רענע פר‡‚ר‡ם „ירע˜ט‡ר‬

‫מר˙‪.‬מ‪ .‬ב‪ .‬הערˆ‡‚ מר˙‪ .‬ח‪.‬ב‪ .‬פערלמ‡ן‬

‫בפי˜וח הנהל˙‬ ‫ב‬ ‫י‬ ‫ני‬ ‫˙ר‬

‫רב ‡לעזר יונה‬ ‫זיל‬ ‫ה‬ ‫בע‬

‫˘ליט"‡‬ ‫ מנה‬‫מ‡ן‬ ‫ל‬ ‫ר‬ ‫ר‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ח‬ ‫נטער‬ ‫ו‬ ‫‡‡ויפזיכט חנכ˙‬ ‫טע מ‬ ‫„י ‡רימ‬ ‫„י ב‬ ‫פון‬

‫˙ו"י „רב"י ˜רי‬ ‫˙ יו‬ ‫חל‬ ‫‡ל‬

‫‪67‬‬

‫ע‪.‬‬ ‫מר˙‪„.‬ס‡ן‬ ‫„עיווי‬

‫‪WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783‬‬

‫‪CA M P‬‬

‫‪JOIN THE SWEETNESS‬‬

‫‪845-409-2000‬‬

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‫‪FOR STAFFING OPPORTUNITIES ##11 TO SIGN UP YOUR CHILD #2‬‬

INNER PARENTING

My Daughter’s Weight Gain Is Bothering Me On Unconditional Love

By Shiffy Friedman

I’m blessed with a large family, baruch Hashem, and, like every good parent, I try to give my children what they need so they can grow into their best selves. For the most part, my kids are well-adjusted, and I connect easily with them. One thing, however, has been bothering me for a while, and last issue’s editorial served as the impetus for me to reach out to this parenting column, which has provided me with much insight in the past regarding the inside-out approach to parenting.

Reading Shiffy Friedman’s essay on the kinds of conversations we can have with our children about their appearance and how healthy it is for the topic to be a non-issue highlighted for me how much work I have to do in this area, especially in regard to my 13-year-old daughter. I wish I could be nonchalant about her pronounced weight gain, but I’m absolutely not. As someone who’s not especially weight conscious but has always been on the relatively slender side, it’s hard for me to watch the change, and when I see her munching on candy and chocolate it takes all my self-control not to say something. We went shopping for camp clothes the other day, and I really felt bad for her. The “I told you so” kept echoing in my mind, but I actually never told her so—because I want to be that kind, loving mother she needs. It’s hard work, but for the most part I keep it all in.

Still, it’s clear to me that something’s not right here. Should I just keep pretending? Should I be honest and say something? And while a big reason why I have a hard time with my daughter’s weight gain is because I feel sorry for her, I won’t kid myself that it also puts a strain on the way I feel about her. Honestly, I find it harder to accept her this way. It bothers me that I can’t be that loving mother to her because something as petty as her appearance is getting in the way. What advice can you give me so that our good relationship can remain this way—and perhaps become even stronger?

Wants to Be a Loving Mother

68

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

Your question opens the platform to a question that is universal to all mothers (as well as fathers), and I thank you for that. I also applaud you for taking the courage to notice where you’re at in your relationship with your daughter, even digging deeper to discover that the issue isn’t only your concern for her but that you honestly find it harder to accept her. This realization in itself is major; as the world says, awareness is the agent for change. With Hashem’s help, you will experience that change very soon.

What every healthy mother wants first and foremost is not only to love her children, but for them to feel her love. It doesn’t feel good to us as parents when we perceive that our children feel unloved. And because Hashem intended for the parent-child relationship to be built on a loving foundation (which will ultimately shape the child’s perception of Hashem as the Parent), He has given us the tools to make it happen.

The most powerful tool each of us possesses as a mother is that we are— by design—a being of love. This is the good news: that our appreciation for our child is an innate part of who we are. Just watch the way we care for a newborn baby, how we instinctively feel pain when our child is in pain.

Even those of us who don’t feel especially maternal have that component; it simply expresses itself differently in every individual. Unconditional love doesn’t only mean I can connect with her when I approve and like everything about her. It means I accept and embrace this child, period—with no conditions, no only ifs.

What if we’re honest with ourselves and we notice that we’re not experiencing this kind of ahavah she’einah teluyah bedavar? (For starters, know that you’re not alone.

Rather, you’re of the majority—but that’s not the comfort we’re looking for!) Knowing the above premise— that every healthy mother innately possesses this kind of feeling toward her children—gives us the answer.

If I don’t feel that my motherly love toward my child is unconditional, it’s not because it isn’t there; it’s because something is getting in the way that prevents me from feeling it. And here’s where the work lies: in unblocking that part within.

With this perspective in mind, let’s explore what those blockages might be.

You say that for the most part, you connect easily with your kids. Good for you and them! It’s with this child in particular that you’re stumped, and you’re attributing this impediment in the relationship to your daughter’s size.

While it helps to identify a logical reason as to why we feel a certain way, the main work toward truly changing the reality has little to do with that logic. In other words, this conversation is way bigger than your daughter’s size. The size might be the presenting issue, but it’s only a symptom of an underlying matter.

It’s about the hard time you may be having connecting to the place of unconditional love that is innately yours.

You ask for advice so that “our good relationship can remain this way—

and perhaps become even stronger,” but while the insight I’m about to share is also about the relationship between you and your daughter, it is first and foremost about the relationship between you and yourself. (This is the Inner Parenting column, after all!)

As mothers who want to be unconditionally loving, we may want to ask ourselves, “Do I know what it means to feel unconditional love?

Have I ever been the recipient of unconditional love? Do I believe it can even exist?”

Many of us come into adulthood highly doubting that unconditional love really exists. Based on our upbringing, the current culture with its emphasis on achievement, and other factors, we find it hard to believe that human beings are deserving of love just because. There always has to be a reason, we tell ourselves— and a good one, at that. It’s hard for us to relate to the Af al pi shechata, Yisrael hu, that yes, Hashem loves us regardless of our deeds. And then, we become parents, and we want to give our children what we don’t really know ourselves.

The first place we can observe if we are able to love unconditionally is within ourselves. Since we can only accept others to the extent that we accept ourselves, that’s a good place to start. If we can only be kind to ourselves when xyz is in place, that’s not unconditional at all. If our own inner dialogue is ridden with self-criticism and self-bashing, we parent (and conduct all our relationships) from that perspective.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

69

INNER PARENTING

And so, this would be one angle worth exploring: How do I feel vis-àvis myself? You say you’ve been relatively slender, so you might not know how you’d speak to yourself had you been your daughter’s size. But think about an area in your own life where you feel you’re lacking. Ask yourself, “What kind of messages am I feeding myself? Do I know what it means to pat myself on the back? Do I know how to differentiate my pure essence from the areas in my life that need improvement? Do I feel deserving of unconditional love, or must ‘I love you’ always be followed by because, or only if…?” How do you feel when someone compliments or treats you?

Can you accept it graciously, or is it hard for you to believe that yes, you deserve it?

If you do this self-inspection and realize that you have a hard time loving yourself unconditionally, the most powerful way to channel this difficulty is toward your relationship with Hashem—our quintessential Parent who showers us with unconditional love. Talk to Him about how hard it is for you to even understand the concept of unconditional love, how doubtful you are about it, and how strong your desire is to feel and exhibit it.

Another angle for introspection, specifically because you’re finding it hard to accept your daughter’s size, is how weight has become associated with self-value for you. As you honestly point out, it’s not only that you’re concerned with your daughter’s social standing or her own uncomfortable feelings. It’s also about what having a daughter at this size brings up for you. You say you’re relatively slender, but what would happen if you were your daughter’s size? Our children are our mirrors.

When we see them, we see ourselves in them (which is why the parent-child relationship is of the most triggering ones). What kind of emotions surface for you that make you uncomfortable for you to accept your child as she is? The answer might be 70

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

failure, disappointment, inadequacy, rejection, shame, or even disgust. Do you associate someone at this size with untoward adjectives? Have you perceived that size is an indicator of value? There may also be the angle of your feelings as the parent here, perhaps feeling like a failure for having a child who looks a certain way or engages in behaviors you’ve deemed negative.

When you recognize the emotion(s) your daughter’s size brings up for you, know that, as the Piaseczner Rebbe teaches, these emotions

The most powerful tool each of us possesses as a mother is that we are—by design—a being of love. that lie dormant within. They’re not new. In other words, many (all!) of us carry around unpleasant feelings like loneliness, failure, rejection, and powerlessness. It’s simply a particular dynamic that brings the unpleasant feeling to the fore, and exactly for this reason: so we can grow from facing it.

So, for example, let’s say you’re

watching your daughter munch on a bar of chocolate, and you want to do the work of being a more loving, accepting mother, here’s what you can do.

You’ll notice something bubbling up inside of you, that inner storm coming to life. Until today, you may have chosen not to respond from this place—kudos to you—but you’ve started finding it very hard to keep resisting. That’s because there’s a limit to how long we can go controlling ourselves.

But, if you choose instead to face what comes up for you, to notice, “Oh, right now I’m feeling like a failure/disgusting/powerless [insert the feeling that comes up],” and to simply breathe into the emotion, to give it its space without escaping it (such as through anger or shaming)—in other words, to be there for yourself—you will find it within you to be there for your child with love.

Resisting our feelings blocks our heart, and it’s when we unblock it that we can uncover the fountain of unconditional love that flows within. The more we practice facing our emotions, as opposed to resisting them, the easier it is for us to exhibit this unconditional love that our children desperately need—that we can give them best.

You will notice that the more you take this particular challenge inward by noticing what is really coming up for you—not just pity on your child, for example, but also regarding your own sense of self—and giving yourself the space you need to allow those feelings to surface, the more nonchalant you will become about your daughter’s eating habits and subsequent size. That’s when you’ll start to see her more and more for the beautiful person she is, inside and out. And that’s when you and your daughter can be’ezras Hashem enjoy the special, precious relationship that is unique to a loving, healthy mother and her blossoming daughter.

And Now, For The Child Since this is the Inner Parenting column, the bulk of my response has been focused on you, as the mother who wants to engage in inner work (kudos!), but here are some insights you may want to explore in order to help your daughter. Just because what mostly bothers you about your child’s appearance or eating habits is a direct result of emotions that may be difficult for you to face, that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t address the place in you that is concerned for your child.

Of course, this happens most effectively once the first part of parenting is dealt with—your own inner work. Once that facet is underway (and it’s a work of a lifetime, always with new opportunities for growth cropping up), you can pay attention to what’s going on for your child without bringing your own unaddressed emotions into the picture.

When you do that, you may want to ask yourself: What may be driving my daughter to overeat?

Food is meant to be a source of pleasure, but when it turns into a self-sabotaging behavior, we may want to look deeper to understand what lack food may be filling in her life. Another angle to explore is what kind of perceptions she may have about food that may be causing her to overeat. Often, a fear of scarcity, of “soon I won’t have this” is at the root. Other times, it’s a need to escape loneliness, sadness, or other emotions that may be difficult for an adolescent to process. Encouraging a child to engage in other pleasurable activities and to develop healthy, effective coping skills can go a long way in facilitating healthier eating patterns.

As counterintuitive as it seems, when we address what seems so far removed from the presenting issue but is really at its core, the presenting issue often gets resolved—on its own. A parent who chooses, for example, to put her daughter on a healthy eating plan, is taking an outside-in approach—that is usually futile. When a child (or anyone) follows a healthy diet either with the feeling of deprivation (she’s picking up the message that this is a “must”) or self-loathing (she’s picking up the message that her appearance is not okay), the outcome is shortterm weight loss, at best, and often grievous to the child’s sense of self. It’s when we take a step back as the parent and instead focus on fostering a more unconditionally loving relationship that the most positive outcomes become possible.

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

71

INNER PARENTING

But Where’s the Place for Chinuch?

If every parenting interaction is only about me, the mother, where is the place for teaching my children critical values for life? For example, a mother like the questioner may want to speak to her child about the importance of making healthy choices.

Where’s the place for that if it’s all about doing our own work as the parent?

There certainly is a place for active teaching in parenting, of open discussion where parents impart values. But—and here’s the big caveat—these conversations are only effective when they emanate from a place of love. If a parent is teaching from anger, frustration, guilt, or other negative emotions (code words for “I don’t want to feel what’s going on for me”), the messages she imparts will be ineffective at best and harmful at worst.

And while active teaching moments— when emanating from true concern and love for the child—are effective, the most effective transmission of values is through role modeling. In this case, it would be not only about making healthy choices regarding the foods we eat but, most importantly, about being the role model in treating ourselves and others with the love and respect they deserve. When a child perceives that her parent is forgiving of herself and others, when she isn’t afraid to feel what comes up for her, when she is able to be honest with her emotions and give them their space—and to turn to Hashem for His help in processing them—the child is learning the most important life lessons of all.

Where Has My Baby Gone?

The topic of this article is a recurring theme for many women I work with in the capacity as a counselor from a Torah perspective. So much of what we bring to the table as parents is a reflection of unaddressed emotions, and noticing what parenting experiences bring up for us is not only integral to our own growth process but is also at the cornerstone of a solid relationship with our children.

Often, when mothers notice that their child is changing, whether they’re exhibiting challenging behaviors or are simply becoming more independent, one sentiment they share is, “Where did my Baby go? I miss her!” When they describe the feeling behind the statement, they might say something like, “When she was a child, it was so easy for me to love her. It’s just not the same.” But as we do work together, these women start to realize that the love we feel to those lovable babies, those cherubic toddlers, even that mischievous preschooler, that’s not love at its core. Often, we only begin to exhibit true parental love particularly in moments when a child feels most unlovable—that’s when we have the opportunity to tap in to our fountain of unconditional love. To love a child who’s easy to accept, whose deeds and quirks and whole package deal we approve of—that’s not unique to the parent-child relationship, and that’s not the deep love we have the capacity to experience as parents. Of course, we ask not to be subjected to nisyonos, but if Hashem does send them our way, if we recognize the opportunity these moments are for us to tap in to our love fountain within—and we grab it, the connection both we and our child will feel is unmeasured.

May Hakadosh Baruch Hu grant us the wisdom to tap in to that fountain so we can emulate Him in our parenting and do our part in raising the next generation of klal Yisrael.

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To sign up to receive her messages on the topic, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org. To hear more about LAHAV, as well as demos from LAHAV classes, please call (646) 693-1700. To learn more about her upcoming seminar on emotional eating (on Monday, June 5, in Boro Park) please call 718-757-9329.

72

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

‫‪SOAK‬‬

‫‪L ON‬‬

‫‪OL‬‬

‫‪H‬‬ ‫‪LAS I‬‬

‫‪N‬‬

‫‪• SP‬‬

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‫סטעף ווערט ‡נ‚עפירט „ורך‬ ‫‡ונזער העכסט‪-‬‬ ‫פר‡פעסי‡נ‡לע „ירע˜ט‡ר‬

‫• ‪OL‬‬

‫‪THE‬‬

‫‪UP‬‬

‫‪THE G‬‬

‫‪THE‬‬

‫‪PO‬‬

‫‚ע˘מ‡˜׳ן‬ ‫פ‡רברענ‚‬

‫„י בעסט ‡ון העכסט‬ ‫ˆו‚ע˘טעלטע ˜עמפ‬ ‫פ‡ר העכער‪-‬פונ˜ˆי‡נירנ„ע‬ ‫מיי„לעך ‡ין עלטער פון ‪ 12‬י‡ר ‡ון העכער‬

‫‡ ‚ע˘מ‡˜ע פר‡‚ר‡ם ‡ונטער „י‬ ‫‚עטרייע פירער˘‡פט פון ‡ונזער‬ ‫ערפ‡רענע פר‡‚ר‡ם „ירע˜ט‡ר‬

‫מר˙‪.‬מ‪ .‬ב‪ .‬הערˆ‡‚ מר˙‪ .‬ח‪.‬ב‪ .‬פערלמ‡ן‬

‫בפי˜וח הנהל˙‬ ‫ב‬ ‫י‬ ‫ני‬ ‫˙ר‬

‫רב ‡לעזר יונה‬ ‫זיל‬ ‫ה‬ ‫בע‬

‫˘ליט"‡‬ ‫ מנה‬‫מ‡ן‬ ‫ל‬ ‫ר‬ ‫ר‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ח‬ ‫נטער‬ ‫ו‬ ‫‡‡ויפזיכט חנכ˙‬ ‫טע מ‬ ‫„י ‡רימ‬ ‫„י ב‬ ‫פון‬

‫˙ו"י „רב"י ˜רי‬ ‫˙ יו‬ ‫חל‬ ‫‡ל‬

‫‪73‬‬

‫ע‪.‬‬ ‫מר˙‪„.‬ס‡ן‬ ‫„עיווי‬

‫‪WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783‬‬

‫‪CA M P‬‬

‫‪JOIN THE SWEETNESS‬‬

‫‪845-409-2000‬‬ ‫‪KATINA@CAMPMAMTAKIM.ORG‬‬ ‫‪845-409-2000 // KATINA@CAMPMAMTAKIM.ORG‬‬ ‫‪I N T H IEN B‬‬ ‫‪EE‬‬ ‫‪AU‬‬ ‫‪T AI F‬‬ ‫‪TH‬‬ ‫‪BE‬‬ ‫‪UU‬‬ ‫‪T ILF URLE N O V A T E D H A M A S P I K R E S O R T‬‬ ‫‪RENOVATED HAMASPIK RESORT‬‬

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74

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

JUNE 2023 / SIVAN 5783 / ISSUE 89

SWAP KOHLRABI FRIES ENCORE WRAP UP YOUR WEEK WITH EVERYTHING BUT THE BAGEL SALAD 6 SEASONAL SNACKS FILL UP ON THESE GRAB-AND-GO POWER NUGGETS

86 Encore

By Charnie Kohn

79 Hunger Cues for BBQs

By Yossi & Malky Levine

76

90 6 Summertime Snacks

By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

84

94

SWAP

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Trigger Zone Wellspring Contributors

WELLSPRING / JUNE 2023

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear Cooks,

While the school year, which many of us see as the routine part of the year, is tapering off, there’s still breakfast to be made every morning and supper to find its way to the oven and table every evening. But even if we’re still in “year-round” mode for the most part, we can all use a little pinch of color in our meal prep routine. This is why I was excited to see the Levines’ collection this month. Who says we need to wait for the official barbecue season to begin before we can give grill recipes a try?

In our house, even though we live in the most urban area where you’re lucky to find a postage-sized patch of grass, we recently started grilling on our porch.

Yup, my husband came home one afternoon lugging a gift for the family: a proper gas grill. Until then, we either waited for summertime to do proper grilling, or I used the grill pan to create dishes with a similar taste. But unless you have an incredibly amazing grill pan—let me know which one it is—they’re simply incomparable.

Now that we’ve upgraded our culinary equipment (ours folds very compact, so extra points for that), grilling has become a built-in part of our weekly menu. As the woman of the house, that’s bonus points

for me come Wednesday night. I simply marinate the proteins and veggies earlier in the day, slide a pan of quinoa or rice into the oven, and my part’s done— until kitchen cleanup, which is also relatively minimal.

Some weeks, the kids end up eating on the porch while watching their father and older brother charr the rest of the fare, and that helps out on the feeding side.

Now, with the Levines’ fabulous recipes in this issue, we’ve got some new grilling ideas to add to our repertoire, so we’re good to go for the season ahead.

While new recipes are always welcome, there’s also something about those oldies but goodies, don’t you think?

On that end, we’re introducing Encore in this issue’s Seasoned, where we’ll be reprinting recipes that have gotten the ravest reviews. If you tried them once, this is your chance to try your hand at them again.

And if you haven’t, now’s the time to say hi to more goodness in your kitchen.

If there’s any particular recipe you’d like to see in this section, I’ll be happy to hear from you,

Esther

WELLSPRING / SIVAN 5783

77

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Hunger Cues for BBQs With the warmer weather finally here, it’s time to take our cooking outside and enjoy some fresh meals in the sun. True, summer vacation hasn’t yet started, but we can start ushering in those vibes—even on the back porch in our very urban neighborhood.

Whether you’re looking for a flavorful side dish or a hearty main course, these summer grilling salad recipes are sure to be a hit at your next BBQ. Packed with fresh ingredients and bold flavors, these dishes are perfect for any outdoor gathering, from casual picnics to elegant BBQs. Happy grilling, Yossi and Malky

Recipes, Styling, and Photography

by Yossi & Malky Levine

HUNGER CUES FOR BBQS

80

WELLSPRING / APRIL 2023

Balsamic Grilled Oyster Steak Salad Whether you’re looking for a quick lunch or a satisfying dinner, this steak salad will very soon become your number one go-to. The tender steak, fresh veggies, and tangy balsamic dressing will make this a new family favorite.

2–3 oyster steaks

Marinade/dressing

1 Tbsp oil

½ cup olive oil

2 tsp coarse black pepper

¼ cup balsamic vinegar

2 tsp coarse sea salt

¼ cup honey 1 garlic cube

Salad

½ tsp salt

2–3 corn on the cobs

¼ tsp black pepper

8 oz fresh mushrooms, sliced 1 pkg mixed greens 1 cup colored cherry tomatoes, cut in halves ½ purple onion, thinly sliced Place all marinade ingredients in a ziplock bag, then add the steaks. Seal and shake to mix well, then allow to marinate for one hour at room temperature or overnight in the fridge.

Once steaks have been marinated, remove from bag and set marinade aside.

Rinse steaks with water and pat dry with a paper towel. Oil steaks lightly and sprinkle generously with salt and pepper.

Heat a gas grill on medium-high heat (alternatively, you can use a grill pan) and use tongs to lay the steaks on the grill. Close the grill and sear for 15 minutes, flipping every five minutes. Let steaks cool for 5 minutes before slicing.

Next, place corn on grill and cook for 10 minutes, rotating every couple of minutes. When done, use a knife to shave off kernels.

Place remaining marinade in a saucepan over medium heat, and bring to a boil. Add mushrooms and cook for 5 minutes.

Place all salad ingredients in a large bowl, and toss with cooked marinade and mushrooms.

Slice steak into ¼-inch slices and arrange over salad.

Yield: 4–6 servings

HUNGER CUES FOR BBQS

Maple Dijon Grilled Chicken Salad Elevate your salad game with this delicious combination of flavors. I love the balance of sweet and savory in a marinade or dressing, and the dressing in this recipe ticks all the boxes. The grilled peaches, fresh fruit, and juicy chicken make this salad both refreshing and satisfying.

6 boneless chicken thighs 2 Tbsp olive oil Marinade ⅓ cup olive oil ¼ cup maple syrup ¼ cup mustard ¼ cup apple cider vinegar 1 garlic cube ½ tsp salt

Place all marinade ingredients in a ziplock bag, then add the chicken.

Marinate for one hour at room temperature or overnight in the fridge.

Once chicken has been marinated, remove from bag and set marinade aside.

Heat a gas grill on high heat (alternatively, you can use a grill pan) and use tongs to lay the chicken on the grill. Sear for 10 minutes, flipping chicken after five minutes. Remove and set aside.

¼ tsp black pepper

Spray peaches with oil and place on grill on medium heat for 3–4 minutes.

Salad

Place remaining marinade in a saucepan over medium heat, bring to a boil, and cook for 5 minutes.

2 peaches, sliced into wedges 1 pkg baby spinach leaves ½ cup cherries, pitted

Place all salad ingredients in a large salad bowl and toss with cooked marinade.

½ cup sweet pecans

Top salad with grilled chicken.

½ cup fresh blueberries

¼ cup scallions Optional: 1 chili pepper, sliced

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Yield: 4–6 servings

SWAP

SWA P

By Yossi & Malky Levine

Potatoes

Kohlrabi

While potatoes can be a nutritious part of a balanced diet, kohlrabi is a great alternative for those looking for a lower-calorie, lower-carb, and nutrient-dense option. Kohlrabi can be cooked in a variety of ways, including roasting, steaming, or boiling, and can be used in place of potatoes in many recipes. This vegetable has a slightly sweet, nutty flavor and a crunchy texture that adds a unique twist to a variety of dishes.

Some health benefits of kohlrabi versus potatoes: • Lower calorie count: With just 36 calories per 100 grams compared to 77 calories per 100 grams of potatoes, it’s a great option for anyone watching their calorie intake.

• High in nutrients: An excellent source of fiber, vitamin C, and potassium, and also rich in antioxidants.

• Lower carb count: Contains fewer carbs than potatoes, with just 8 grams of carbs per 100 grams compared to 17 grams of carbs per 100 grams of potatoes.

Kohlrabi Fries Kohlrabi isn’t just a fabulous addition to chicken soup. Looking for a new and exciting way to enjoy this nutritious vegetable? Try these kohlrabi fries. With a crispy exterior and soft, flavorful interior, these fries are a delicious and healthier alternative to traditional potato fries. They’re super easy to make and a great way to add some variety to your meal routine. It may just become the new favorite snack in your house 3 kohlrabies, washed and pat dried

Preheat oven to 400°F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2 Tbsp avocado or olive oil

Cut off stems of kohlrabi and remove tough woody skin with a peeler or knife. Slice into ⅓-inch-thick slices, then into long sticks.

½ tsp sea salt, or to taste

Place all seasoning ingredients in a small bowl and mix to combine.

Seasoning 1 tsp paprika or chili powder 1 tsp garlic powder ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper, or to taste

Transfer kohlrabi sticks to a large bowl, add oil and seasoning and toss until sticks are well coated.

Spread sticks in a single layer on prepared baking sheet and roast for 25–30 minutes, flipping halfway through until golden and crispy on all the sides.

Remove fries from oven and sprinkle with salt while still hot.

Yields 4–6 servings

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ENCORE WITH CHARNIE KOHN

EVERYTHING BUT THE BAGEL SALAD Total prep time: 15 minutes This is a great twist on the traditional lox and cream cheese bagel. All the flavors and a fraction of the calories. No need to be busy scooping out the insides of your bagel this time.

For perfect results, prepare the dressing before Shabbos and assemble right before the meal.

4 small Persian cucumbers 4 oz smoked lox 1 pkg spring mix or greens of your choice handful cherry tomatoes, halved 1 small purple onion, thinly sliced ½ avocado, thinly sliced 2 oz olives handful fresh dill Cream Cheese Dressing 4 oz whipped cream cheese ⅓ cup almond milk 1 clove garlic, minced 1 tsp dill, chopped 1 tsp lemon juice 1 Tbsp Everything but the Bagel Seasoning (or Challah Topping/Everything Mix)

Combine the first five ingredients for cream cheese dressing and whip well until creamy. Add Bagel Seasoning and mix until fully combined.

Chop cucumbers into small quarters and cut lox into bite-sized pieces.

Assemble salad and top with cream cheese dressing before serving.

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ENCORE WITH CHARNIE KOHN

CREAMY GRAPE AMBROSIA Total prep time: 10 minutes This light and refreshing dish may just become your new Shabbos staple! It comes together in under ten minutes, and is the perfect treat for those long and hot Shabbos afternoons.

3 cups green grapes 3 cups purple grapes 1 cup low-fat yogurt ¼ cup coconut sugar, plus more for topping 2 Tbsp cream cheese ½ tsp vanilla extract 1 15-oz can peaches 1 cup walnuts, crushed, for topping

Wash grapes and set aside. In a medium-sized bowl, combine yogurt, coconut sugar, cream cheese, and vanilla extract.

Drain peaches, reserving two tablespoons of the liquid. Add peaches and reserved liquid to yogurt mixture. Blend until smooth. Combine with grapes and top with crushed walnuts and some more coconut sugar. Serve cold.

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TIDBITS

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Summertime Snacks ESTI ASHER, MS, RDN, LD

With daylight hours expanding and spring weather in the air, you may find yourself out and about more often. Whether spending more time in the park with little ones or running more errands, it’s helpful to be prepared with snacks to properly fuel you—and your crew—even when you’re far from your kitchen.

The following are 6 examples of balanced snacks to have on hand that can be appreciated and enjoyed by a variety of ages. Your energy levels, mood, and always-hungry little ones will thank me later.

Yogurt with a fruit

Baby carrots and chummus

Sometimes, the simple options are the last ones we think of. Because yogurt must be kept within a food-safe temperature, a great trick is to freeze individual portion–sized yogurts in advance. Before your outing, take out the amount you think you’ll need and allow them to thaw and be deliciously refreshing by the time you use them.

Squeezable yogurts work great with this strategy as well, as this way they resemble freeze pop or popsicle. Since yogurt is often not enough to satisfy, pair it with a whole fruit such as an apple, banana, or clementine, or pre-slice your fruit of choice in a convenient sandwich bag.

For a more savory snack, enjoy a cut-up vegetable (baby carrots are super easy because they require zero prep, although they are a choking hazard for younger kids) with chummus. Balancing out the vegetable with the protein-packed chummus will help with satiety. For the most convenient option, use the individual portion–sized chummus packages, or pre-portion it yourself into condiment containers. (Feel free to use the “keep in the freezer and let thaw” trick, or just be mindful to eat the chummus while it’s still within a food-safe temperature.)

Trail mix

String cheese and cucumber sticks

One of my favorite snacks to recommend (especially for kids), trailmix is simply a mixture of a variety of dry snacks and can be customized by flavor and texture preference. Depending on the age (and potential allergy sensitivity) of the eater, consider including a nut or seed, dried fruit, cereal, or popcorn. The possibilities are endless, and you can opt for sweet, savory, or a mixture of both. This option is also shelf stable.

String cheese is one of my favorite grab-n-go protein snack components to recommend. A favorite among many ages, it’s very convenient to have on-hand. (You guessed it; depending on turnaround time until they’re eaten, I’d also recommend freezing these and bringing them to thaw so they can be eaten while still cold and not melted.) Cucumber sticks are a universally loved vegetable, and if you want to keep the prep as minimal as possible, enjoy little Persian cucumbers whole and skip cutting into sticks!

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TIDBITS

The Cranberry Cure

Rice cake and cheese sandwiches In addition to cut-up vegetables, rice cakes are a great medium for enjoying dips, nut/seed butters, and even sliced cheese. Rice cake sandwiches are fun, delicious, and simple to assemble in advance, on the go, or while enjoying a day in the park. Keeping food safety in mind, I’d recommend storing sliced cheese in a cooler or insulated lunch bag with an ice pack.

Urinary tract infection is a relatively common occurrence, especially in women. Classic recommendations for treating a urinary tract infection include increasing hydration/water intake and the common home remedy of drinking cranberry juice. While cranberry products are recommended thanks to a chemical compound called proanthocyanidin, support for their effectiveness always seemed to border the gray area between old wives’ tales and substantial, credible research.

However, recent findings published in the Cochrane Review finally brought to light the scientific evidence on this healing intervention. The research team set out to review 50 randomized controlled trials with approximately 9,000 participants, and ultimately concluded that drinking cranberry juice or taking cranberry supplements reduced the risk of having repeat symptoms for a urinary tract infection by more than 25 percent.

The intervention was particularly helpful for children and for individuals who had experienced recurring UTIs.

Vitamin D May Help with Depression Fruit cups Similar to trail mix, there is a plethora of ways to mix and match fruit cups, which can be customized to your preferences and available fruits. Simply cut up/ assemble on your own or enjoy a packaged version from the store.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD, is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Self-Care Enthusiast on a mission to help women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear, and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please email her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

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The period from when a woman becomes pregnant until one year after the birth, also known as the perinatal stage, is often a time of many emotional and physical changes, with some women suffering greatly from depression and anxiety. While there are many strategies for helping and treating depression and anxiety, a focus on diet is often key.

Theories vary regarding which dietary or nutritional components may best help women during the perinatal stage, and particularly those suffering from anxiety or depression. A recent study conducted a systematic review and meta-analysis of random control trials within this area. Elemental metals such as zinc, iron, and magnesium did not prove to be more helpful than the placebo (with the exception of iron, which may cause improvement if the individual is suffering from an iron deficiency). However, vitamin D did yield a small to medium effect on improvement. While further research is needed, this is a factor to keep in mind, and it’s worth bringing up with your physician to see if vitamin D supplementation is helpful and/ or necessary.

Nothing classic like

White

Summer is coming, and so is the launch of Mehadrin’s new White Collection. Prepare to don your fresh whites as you enjoy our new crisp whites. Made with snowy smooth ice cream and cool new flavors, it’s safe to say we’re welcoming a new ice cream season in style.

The new White ‘N Crunch levels up your favorite vanilla ice cream with a cookie twist.

Draped in cone and topped with more cookies, there’s a lot of crisp crunch to relish.

We’re also rolling out a new collection of White Dipped ice cream bars in three new flavors. There's one for everyone in English Toffee, Strawberry, and Vanilla. Wrapped in rich white chocolate, these bars are the perfect indulgence.

The new collection is the perfect treat to cool you down as the heat cranks up. Take a walk to the white side — or your grocery’s freezer— for a taste of these scrumptious flavors.

Product of USA

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THIS MONTH

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

TRIGGER ZONE We know that a healthy diet includes a variety of different foods and doesn’t exclude any food groups, but then there are certain foods we have a hard time consuming in moderation. When we start with them, we find it hard to stop—and that’s not good for us. What’s one such food for you? Do you avoid it or find a way to incorporate it into your diet? If you do include it, tell us how.

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

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T

Shani Taub, CDC

Shaindy Oberlander, BS, INHC

H

Hot, fluffy, warm challah is my jam, but it really doesn’t agree with me.

While I am not allergic to gluten, the high gluten flour really doesn’t make me feel great. Instead, I opt for a whole wheat matzah or a Royo, low carb bagel, and I really enjoy it since, this way, I know I’m caring for my body best.

There’s no one food I really like that I avoid completely. I believe that in maintenance, the key is moderation.

There’s no need to avoid something just because we can’t have the entire container.

And so, I allow myself to enjoy what I’m entitled to, and I tell myself I’ll have it again next time.

Here’s a recipe my friend Ruchie Herman and I once created for a healthier version of this treat.

Ruchie’s Kokosh Cake Ingredients: 1 pack dry yeast 1¼ cups warm water ⅛ cup oil ⅛ cup honey 1 egg, beaten for egg wash 3½ cups whole wheat flour ¼ Tbsp salt

For chocolate filling: 1 cup sweetener ½ cup cocoa powder For cinnamon filling: 1 cup sweetener 1 Tbsp cinnamon For apple filling: 1 cup sweetener 1 Tbsp cinnamon ½ cup diced apples

Sheindy Ungar, CDC

Tanya Rosen, MS, CPT

I

I have a huge weakness for kokosh cake. The more gooey the chocolate, the more tempting. Aside for the obvious reasons (high calories and fat and sugar), there is another reason this is in the “danger zone” for me. I always tell my clients that if they’re going to indulge in something, they need to plate it, sit down, and enjoy it like a lady. The thing is, I enjoy kokosh cake so much more if I can dig in and scoop out the best parts…I’m sure some will find this off-putting, but many will relate.

I

I’m a chocoholic and I know I’m in good company. My weight loss plan is built on the idea of cutting out highly processed food and added sugar. The one and only exception is, you guessed it, chocolate—dark chocolate with a high cocoa content, such as 72 percent, in moderation, of course. Here’s a recipe for a healthier way to satisfy a chocolate craving.

Brownie Balls 2 cup Medjool dates, pitted

Instructions:

1 cup nuts, unsalted (cashews or walnuts)

Preheat oven to 350°F.

2 Tbsp cocoa

Dissolve yeast in water and allow to proof. In the meantime, place rest of ingredients in a bowl. Add yeast mixture and knead until a dough is formed.

Cover and let rise for about an hour.

½ tsp salt

Divide into 2 or 3 balls. Spray counter or surface well with cooking spray, then roll dough as thin as possible. Spray dough and spread filling of preference over dough. Roll dough as tight as possible, twist, and place into pan. Brush with egg and bake for about 45 minutes or until outside is browned and inside is fully baked.

½ tsp pure vanilla

2 Tbsp nut butter (natural peanut butter or almond butter) 1 Tbsp almond milk, unsweetened (or water) Shredded coconut or chopped nuts (optional) Place all ingredients in the food processor fitted with the “S” blade. Process well. Let mixture cool in fridge, then form into balls. Coat with nuts. Keep frozen.

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In theory, I think a great alternative would be to have a date stuffed with a nut/slivered nuts, and then drizzled with chocolate—either cold or frozen.

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Dr. Rachael Teichberg

O

One type of food I have a hard time consuming in moderation is chocolatecovered dried fruit or chocolate-covered nuts (think, chocolatecovered cherries, raisins, blueberries, almonds, etc.). I am typically very selective about only buying these treats for special occasions— and during those times, I don’t have any expectation of portion control or moderation (the packages aren’t that big anyways, right?).

When I use the strategy of avoiding this trigger food in my environment, it comes from a place of self-love, compassion, and respect—meaning, it’s not a way to punish myself or because I don’t trust myself. It’s because I want to be proactive and do myself a favor by avoiding a scenario where I’m faced with a temptation and will then feel not good (physically and/or emotionally) after eating more than I’d like “just because they were there.” Different strategies work for different people, but this is what works best for me—and, Baruch Hashem, many of my clients—right now.

Chaya Tziry Retter, RDN, CPT

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

MY TABLE

O

Once I start, I have a hard time with portion control around French fries (deep-fried and lightly salted). When I get that craving, chocolate covered rice cakes (sugar free) usually give me a good carby and rich fix without the heaviness.

I

I definitely have a weakness for Lotus (butter spread) anything! The solution for me? I keep it out of the house. I don’t feel so bad because the ingredients inside are just not good for anyone.

That being said, on very rare, special occasions, I’ll splurge and get a Lotus milkshake— and I’ll enjoy every sip!

, OT O! G U

V OKIE CO

FL

N EA NWI L L A B&A R

G S OR I H S I E ERE YO N H

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HOLISTIC

C I T S I L O H Perimenopause, usually beginning around the age of forty, when menstrual cycles become irregular as menopause approaches, is a 10–15-year period. Weight gain in the abdominal area during this period is often a sign that a woman’s blood sugar balance and insulin levels are not at their ideal, and that her estrogen levels are decreasing.

Dr. Chayala Englard

Women’s Health

Charting Collagen Changes

Here are a few strategies to optimize perimenopause health: 1) If your stress hormones, such as cortisol or epinephrine, are already elevated, these hormone imbalances can increase by overexercising and exercising too intensely, which causes the body to release more cortisol.

2) Reduce stressors in your life and find balance with joyous activities. Focus on gratitude and connecting to Hashem.

3) Research indicates that adding maca to your smoothies or supplement regimen has been shown to improve estrogen levels, balance hormones, and reduce perimenopausal symptoms specifically related to low estrogen.

4) Eating meals at regular intervals, preferably earlier in the day, can help improve weight loss efforts and reduce health risks in perimenopausal women.

Chayala Englard is a proud wife, mother, and Doctor of Physical Therapy. Her private practice, Life PT, is located in Lakewood, New Jersey, and is primarily focused on women’s health and pelvic floor rehab.

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Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

Hormone Health

The Many Manifestations If you are having issues with your skin, struggling with allergies, can’t seem to lose weight, suffer from an autoimmune disease, or have recurring headaches, the real reason may be that your gut is unhealthy. This may be true even if you’ve never had any digestive complaints. The bacterial DNA in your gut outnumbers your own DNA by a very large margin. When the balance of bacteria in your gut is optimal, this DNA works for you to control immune function, regulate digestion and intestinal function, protect against infections, and even produce vitamins and nutrients.

Bad bugs, on the other hand, produce fats and toxins that promote allergies and eczema, are related to inflammation throughout the body, and are linked to autoimmune conditions. A healthy gut microbiome is one of the most important factors in the prevention of chronic disease and the maintenance of good health. Another reason to prioritize your gut health!

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, is a dietitian whose mission is to improve lives by empowering individuals to use nutrition to improve their gut health and hormone balance. She is a recognized expert on IBS/SIBO and has developed the Gut Dietitian training protocols on IBS and IBD for Registered Dietitian education. She writes, lectures, and counsels extensively on IBD, IBS, PCOS/fertility, and thyroid health, and is the founder of the gutdietitian.com virtual practice and co-founder of the Belly app.

Shiffy Friedman

Someone once came to ask Rav Nissim Karelitz, zt”l, a question in halachah, and he apparently wasn’t pleased with the response. In “retaliation,” the visitor launched into a very vocal diatribe against the gadol, shaming him before the eyes of everyone in the room. After he left, one of the Rav’s gabbaim asked him how he was able to remain silent in the face of such an onslaught. Wasn’t it hard for him to hear someone belittle him like that, especially in public? How was he able to control his response? The Rav’s answer shines a brilliant light into the inner world of our tzaddikim, and the spiritual and emotional state we all strive for. “If I would value myself based on those around me,” the Rav said simply, “Woe to me. But I value myself based on how the Ribbono Shel Olam values me, and so, even when someone ‘spits me in the face,’ my sense of self-worth remains intact. I know how much I’m really worth, and that’s all that matters.”

What greater self-esteem can there possibly be? This is true self-value, not self-centeredness or self-aggrandizement, just simple, wholesome self-esteem, which often seems so elusive but is actually attainable for all of us.

When we learn to value our essence—which includes getting to know and embracing all parts of ourselves—all our thoughts and deeds can emanate from this healthy place.

In addition to her work as a writer, teacher, and counselor, Mrs. Shiffy Friedman is the founding director of LAHAV, an initiative that spreads awareness about the pathways to connection, contentment, and inner peace through Torah. To receive her free thought-provoking messages on the topic or to learn more about LAHAV, please write to info@lahavinitiative.org.

Introducing Allergens Perel Kahan, RD, CDN

Pediatric Health

Spiritual Health

True Self-Esteem

As parents of young children, much of our mealtime battles can be reduced by recognizing roles in feeding children. According to Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility of Feeding, our domain is the “what, when, and where” of eating, while the child’s job is “whether, and how much.” That means that the parent chooses what to serve, when to serve it, and where to serve it, while the child’s job is to decide whether or not to eat it, and if so, how much.

Once this is understood, stress levels go down drastically for everyone. You can feel good as a parent without your child’s mealtime behaviors depending on it, and your child can feel secure knowing they’re in charge of the food going into their body. Knowing your boundaries and being careful not to overstep your child’s boundaries will help eliminate the food-related power struggle.

Perel Kahan, RD, CDN, is a Brooklyn-based pediatric registered dietitian and certified dietitian-nutritionist who practices and lives with an intuitive eating mindset. That means broccoli, whole grain sourdough, and chocolate chip cookies are in regular rotation at her house! She can be reached at kahanperel@gmail.com.

If you’re a health practitioner and would like to contribute to this column, please write to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

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ALL NATURAL

100% JUICE

NO HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP